Real Talk: Recent Episodes
Foundation Restoration
The Real Talk Podcast is about real people discussing real issues while offering real help at the intersection of clinical expertise and a biblical perspective. We will be covering an array of topics from mental health, emotional wellbeing, neuroscience, parenting, marriages, relationships, faith, and much more! Visit Foundation Restoration at www.foundationrestoration.org for more information! Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-mcilwain/support
Foundation Restoration is about to hit the 14 year mark as a ministry, and there’s been a lot of reflecting and reminiscing that comes with that. Fourteen years brings a lot of learning and lessons with it, and today is all about sharing that with you. In this episode, I want to share some of the key truths I have learned about ministry, leadership, and venturing out to do something out of the box and out of the boat.
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It’s one of the most commonly asked questions I get asked. Does therapy work? Does it really work? Or is it a waste of time and money? In this edition of the Ask Me Anything Segment, I am going to tackle this question thoroughly and highlight 3 key components to what makes or breaks therapy’s effectiveness.
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Anxiety. Everyone experiences it at one time or another, but for some, it’s a debilitating and very real part of their everyday lives. Anxiety can impact people in different ways, but regardless, it tends to grip us in a way that squeezes the very life out of our lives. So, what is anxiety? And how do we deal with it? What is the key to coping with anxiety?
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We all have feelings whether we want to admit it or not. Some people want to completely avoid feelings and deny their existence. Others live and die by their feelings. Our world says your feelings are all that matter. The Christian community can tend to repress and discourage feelings. So what’s the answer? Is there a happy medium? Is there a bridge between the extremes? Feelings have their place and their purpose, and in this episode, we’re going to discuss emotional intelligence, acknowledging emotions, and managing emotions.
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Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are competing? Like instead of being on your team, your spouse is competing against you? Does it ever seem like your spouse struggles to celebrate, elevate, encourage, support, or otherwise unite with you? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, this podcast is for you as we delve into The Competing Spouse.
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Life is full of decisions, responsibilities, roles, and relationships. Every day we face a full day of moving, deciding, functioning, and operating within a million places and spaces, and it’s easy to go through the motions of life without a second thought. It’s easy to focus on the here and now without much thought in what we are doing, let alone WHY we are doing it. I want to challenge you with the importance of knowing your why in everything you do to maximize the impact of your life on you and on others. Knowing your why is the key to stewarding all that God has entrusted in your care well. In Part 3 we are specifically addressing the why in marriages and relationships.
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Life is full of decisions, responsibilities, roles, and relationships. Every day we face a full day of moving, deciding, functioning, and operating within a million places and spaces, and it’s easy to go through the motions of life without a second thought. It’s easy to focus on the here and now without much thought in what we are doing, let alone WHY we are doing it. I want to challenge you with the importance of knowing your why in everything you do to maximize the impact of your life on you and on others. Knowing your why is the key to stewarding all that God has entrusted in your care well. In Part 2 we are specifically addressing the why in parenting as well as in our jobs, work, and vocation.
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Life is full of decisions, responsibilities, roles, and relationships. Every day we face a full day of moving, deciding, functioning, and operating within a million places and spaces, and it’s easy to go through the motions of life without a second thought. It’s easy to focus on the here and now without much thought in what we are doing, let alone WHY we are doing it. As a new year is underway, I want to challenge you with the importance of knowing your why in everything you do to maximize the impact of your life on you and on others. Knowing your why is 1 of the most important things to know, and we’re going to explore that in today’s episode.
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It’s the most wonderful time of the year, but it can be 1 of the toughest times of the year. We have a tendency to be over-extended, overspending, and overwhelmed. On top of that, there are expectations. Expectations from so many different directions and so many different people. Before you know it, the joy of Christmas gets lost in it all. Is this what the most wonderful time of year is about? No, so let’s talk about how we can preserve the joy of Christmas through healthy boundaries.
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Let’s talk about communication. In Part 1 we discussed the ultimate purpose of communication is connection rather than merely conveying facts and information. Communication is what breathes life into a relationship and builds that deeper connection. In Part 2 we start to delve into the basics of communication looking at common pitfalls and obstacles to communication in hopes of bridging the gap and overcoming those barriers to facilitate better communication and thus a better connection, and today we are continuing that conversation and wrapping up our communication series
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Let’s talk about communication. In Part 1 we discussed the ultimate purpose of communication is connection rather than merely conveying facts and information. Communication is what breathes life into a relationship and builds that deeper connection. In Part 2 we are going to delve into the basics of communication. We will look at common pitfalls and obstacles to communication in hopes of bridging the gap and overcoming those barriers to facilitate better communication and thus a better connection.--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-mcilwain/support
Let’s talk about communication. We are absolutely flooded with information; it comes at us a million miles per hour. It’s not a coincidence though that we live in a world with more info than ever but people are lonelier than ever. Stats show people feel lonelier and more isolated than ever. We’re exposed to more information and messaging than ever before. Everywhere we turn there’s more information coming at us. But communication is not just about being informed. Communication is about connection, so let’s dive in.
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Do you feel it? The weight of the world with everything that’s going on around us? The past several years with COVID took a huge toll on people, which is why we saw huge spikes in relational, mental, emotional, and physical issues. Mental health became a major issue, and every negative stat spiked significantly as people dealt with the unprecedented challenges. As we have resumed a new normal coming out of that, we have been faced with so many major issues and challenges worldwide including the current war in Israel. It can feel like we’re drowning in disasters, pain, and just the weight of the world. Today, I want to talk about handling the heaviness of these major things out of our control but impacting our lives.
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If there’s one thing this world is anemic of, it’s people caring. Caring to listen. Caring to care for others. Caring to be fully present. Caring to work hard. Caring to make a difference. There are a million things to care about, and yet, we’ve become indifferent and numb to so much. When did we stop caring about people and what matters most? What does it even look like to care? Well, that’s what we’re going to talk about today.
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Having a positive attitude and outlook on things is a great thing! Being optimistic and seeing the good are certainly worthy qualities. But is there such a thing as being too optimistic? Can positivity ever be damaging? In this episode, we are going to discuss optimism and when it crosses the line into something called toxic positivity. We’re going to explore the difference and how to strike the right balance between optimism and toxic positivity.
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Wouldn’t it be so nice if life was nice, neat, tidy, and always worked out the way we hoped and planned? It’s easy to think if you do the right things, make the right choices, and treat people well, then the right things will happen for you as a result. A + B = C, right? Unfortunately, no. Life is often unfair, cruel, and unjust. It can be messy, chaotic, and downright disastrous, even when you do everything “right.” This can make us question everything, including our faith and the love of God. Today, I want to talk about handling the unfairness of life.
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We are kicking off the Ask Me Anything segment! One of the most common questions I get asked is whether people can really change. The short answer to that question is, yes. But is that the real question we should be asking? To that, I would say no. Today we will explore if people can change, how they change, and even why they change. Tune into as I tackle this frequently asked question.
Humility. It’s a virtue that makes all the difference in our relationships, life, and work. It’s an absolutely key trait for quality leadership. God speaks of His favor resting on those who humble themselves, and we see Him repeatedly chastise the proud. Humility is such a powerful characteristic, so let’s examine why it is, what it is, and how we can try to cultivate more humility in our lives.
If you’ve been married longer than a second, you know that couples fight over dumb things. Every single couple fights, and while some issues are legit, we’re highlighting the lighter side of the things we go to battle over and for. We all have them, so let’s laugh a little about them, huh? Today we are kicking off a new segment called Dumb Couple Fights that will hopefully make you chuckle or at least smile.
We all lead someone in our lifetime, and we will all be led in our lifetime, which is why it's such an important topic. In this 2 part series, we are exploring the keys to great leadership. Part 1 we talked about who is a leader, what is a leader, and why we lead. Today, in part 2, we’re going to discuss the characteristics of a great leader. So let's dive in!
Recently there has been a lot of conversation and hoopla about leadership and who should be in leadership, especially within the Christian community. While I’m sure the debate will continue long beyond our time, there is 1 thing that cannot be debated, and that is the need for quality leadership. We all lead someone in our lifetime, and some lead many. So, we are going to spend the next 2 episodes exploring the importance of leadership and what makes a quality leader.
One thing I have realized over time is how often suffering is not short-lived. There are situations and circumstances we find ourselves in that entail suffering longer than we’d ever imagined or hoped. It chips away at us. Life can be full of suffering that can stretch far beyond our human threshold, so the question becomes, what do we do with that? Today, we’re delving into how to survive perpetual suffering, so let’s hop right in.
Everywhere we go, I feel like we’re told we have to find the right “balance” in life. Like there’s a magic formula to being and doing it all. But there is no magic formula to have this perfectly balanced life. In this episode we’re exploring the alternative to a balanced life and how to find peace in the chaos of life’s demands.
In Episode 10, we talked about how pain and struggle are an inevitable part of life. We can’t avoid it, but we can use it to grow and develop in such powerful ways. We are victors, not victims. One facet of growth from our pain and heartache is our ability to connect, understand, and empathize with others. In today’s podcast, I want to dive deeper into how we can help the hurting.
Most of our lives, we work to avoid pain and heartache in life. Who wants to experience pain, loss, trauma? No one. Yet, as a marriage and family therapist, I see that it is an inevitable part of life that simply cannot be avoided. So now what? I would challenge each of us to shift our focus from how to avoid pain to how to handle it. That’s what we will be discussing in today’s podcast – Purpose in Pain.
Is life happening to you, or are you making life happen? There are opportunities around us everywhere to live a life of purpose that changes lives and impacts our world. Oftentimes we look for the grand moments, but it’s in the simple, the small, the seemingly insignificant interactions and moments that we can change the climate of our world and be the salt and light that Christ calls us to (Matthew 5:13-16). It’s all about living with intentionality. So, let’s dive in …
We were created for connection. From the time God created Adam, we see that God knew we needed connection when he stated that it’s not good for man to be alone, so God made a helper suitable for him, a woman. God desires for us to be in relationship with Him and with others. Marriage offers a very unique opportunity for connection unlike any other relationship, but oftentimes, we are missing out on it. Being fully known and fully loved is a gift like none other, and yet, it can seem so elusive. In this podcast series, I am going to be diving into understanding how to cultivate that connection through intimacy.
We were created for connection. From the time God created Adam, we see that God knew we needed connection when he stated that it’s not good for man to be alone, so God made a helper suitable for him, a woman. God desires for us to be in relationship with Him and with others. Marriage offers a very unique opportunity for connection unlike any other relationship, but oftentimes, we are missing out on it. Being fully known and fully loved is a gift like none other, and yet, it can seem so elusive. In this podcast series, I am going to be diving into understanding how to cultivate that connection through intimacy.
We were created for connection. From the time God created Adam, we see that God knew we needed connection when he stated that it’s not good for man to be alone, so God made a helper suitable for him, a woman. God desires for us to be in relationship with Him and with others. Marriage offers a very unique opportunity for connection unlike any other relationship, but oftentimes, we are missing out on it. Being fully known and fully loved is a gift like none other, and yet, it can seem so elusive. In this podcast series, I am going to be diving into understanding how to cultivate that connection through intimacy.
“Who am I?” may be the most profound question we ask ourselves. Identity and our understanding of who we are is 1 of the most vital things to understand because it’s the framework for which we build our lives. We will break down the importance of your identity and how to discover it in this 2 part series.
“Who am I?” may be the most profound question we ask ourselves. Identity and our understanding of who we are is 1 of the most vital things to understand because it’s the framework for which we build our lives. We will break down the importance of your identity and how to discover it in this 2 part series.
Reflections and Resets. As we kick off a New Year, some encouragement and insight into how you can shift the paradigm on resolutions for lasting change and growth.
To educate people on therapy/counseling busting myths, creating awareness, and encouraging the desire to grow.