The Soul Enchilada: Recent Episodes

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This Week’s Listener Question:

All my college friends get together every year for a “Girls Long Weekend.” I really want

to go but my husband makes me feel guilty for leaving him at home with the kids. The

problem is… he never goes anywhere. What should I do?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What parts come up for you when you recognize that you have needs?

2. What needs do you have the hardest time expressing?

3. How can you get curious about your needs or real desires? Who do you need to

communicate these to?

1. How might you creatively collaborate with others to meet your needs and/or

desires?

Resources:

To sign up for one-on-one grief support with Laura, visit griefandhope.org

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I hear my friends talking about how the Holy Spirit or God is speaking to them so clearly. God doesn’t speak to me clearly. Why don’t I hear from God? And how can I?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. When you were growing up how were you taught to hear from God?

2. How are you listening and/or hearing differently now?

3. How would you describe how God speaks to you or others?

4. What’s one way this week you can be still, lean in, and listen to God’s intimate voice?

Resources:

The quote Laura shared, “You are best qualified to help the person you used to be.” Ed Mylett

To sign up for one-on-one grief support with Laura, visit griefandhope.org

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I’ve been working at the same company for twenty-one years. I’ve been super loyal and helped them become successful. I just found out we’re being bought and my job is being phased out. I’m so mad at them and God! How do I move past this anger and the injustice of it?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What doors have closed recently for you?

2. When God allows a door to close or a major change to happen in your life, what emotions arise in you?

3. How would you describe your grief journey after a door was slammed shut in your life?

4. How did your identity get pruned or change in the process?

5. What new identities or self-awareness immerged after this major life change?

Resources:

No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

Christine and Laura continue discussing attachment styles. To Laura’s surprise Christine showed up at the recording a “hot mess” having a complete meltdown. Step into their conversation and learn how you can move from chaos to calm and panic to peace.

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. When life overwhelms you, what’s usually your first response?

2. How comfortable are you when situations in life spin out of control? Do you get swept up in big emotions or do you try to avoid them at all cost?

3. Lean and listen to the voices in your head. Are you hearing judgement, criticism, compassion, or self-nurture?

4. How are the voices in our heads critical to our wellbeing? Think of a time when your thoughts greatly impacted your feelings and actions.

5. Like Laura did for Christine, in what ways could you step closer to a friend or family member who’s struggling with a big life change?

6. How does moving closer to others in chaos build intimacy and vulnerability? When have you seen this happen in your life?

Resources:

Attachment Style Assessment – Take the Quiz

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkan – Book

Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships - Complete Guide

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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I'm someone who likes being alone. I'm content reading and working on a project. My partner, on the other hand, says I'm distant, aloof, and often distracted. We don't agree on physical touch and how often we should have sex. He wants sex a lot more than I do. How can we get closer? What's wrong with him/ us?

Join Dr. Michaelle Knight and me for our final Summer Webinar: PRESS ON WITH PERSEVERENCE AND DESIGN A PLAN. This Thursday, August 8th. Sign up here: 3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/press-on-with-perseverance-and-design-a-plan

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This Week's Listener Question:

My partner always wants me to go everywhere he goes. He won’t go to parties, games,

church, or vacations without me. It feels like he’s smothering me and I need some

space. What should I do without hurting his feelings?

Announcements:

Summer Webinar Series – You are invited to join Laura Busse and Dr. Michaelle Knight

August 8 – Press On with Perseverance and Make a Plan

Sign up here: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/press-on-with-perseverance-and-design-a-plan

Hope to see you there!

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. Reflecting on your family of origin and caregivers when you were a child, how

would you describe how your needs were met? What messages did you receive

about how to express your emotions?

1. Did you grow up seeing any of these patterns of anxious attachment – clinging,

controlling, people pleasing, helplessness, placating, or jealousy? Do you see

them in your relationships today?

1. Why do you think anxious attachment styles are common in relationships?

2. In what ways can we be connected to others yet still differentiated?

3. Celebrate one of your relationships that feels connected and you still have your

own autonomy. Or choose one you’d like to move in that direction. Make a plan

to communicate or celebrate with them.

Resources:

Attachment Style Assessment – Take the Quiz

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkan – Book

Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships - Complete Guide

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I’ve been learning about attachment styles and how we develop unhealthy attachment styles if we didn’t have secure attachment with our parents when we were growing up. I didn’t have one with my parents, so I’m wondering how to form a secure attachment with God and others. Is it possible?

Announcements:

Summer Webinar Series – You are invited to join Laura Busse and Dr. Michaelle Knight

July 18 – Embrace Disappointment and Dream Again

August 8 – Press On with Perseverance and Make a Plan

Sign up https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/embrace-disappointment-and-dream-again

– Hope to see you there!

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

•Reviewing the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, which one did you experience in your family of origin?

•We invite you to take the attachment assessment below. What did you learn about yourself?

•What attachment style do you lean towards? Any thoughts of why this might be?

•Think of all the ways attachment styles play out in the world around you. How do they impact your relationship with God (however you define God), yourself, and others? What’s one way you could step closer and grow in one of these relationships?

Resources:

Attachment Style Assessment – Take the Quiz

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkan – Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week's Listener Question:

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. There's nothing wong with the relationship. On paper we look perfect, but I feel restless and bored. Should I practice gratitude and find contentment, or is this a sign I should leave the relationship?

Announcement: Are you in a time of transition? Do you need coaching and teaching to take steps in a new direction? You are invited to join Laura's summer webinar with Dr Michaelle Knight.

July 18 and August 8 - go to 3oclockwakeup.com\transitions-webinar-workshop

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This Week’s Listener Question:

Wow! I just got terrible news which will greatly impact my upcoming plans. I feel like I’m swimming in the soup of confusion, disappointment, and crisis. How do I figure out where to start when I can’t even think straight?

Announcements:

Are you in a season of TRANSITION? Do you want to find firm footing in times of change?

Then sign up for Laura’s Summer Webinars with Dr. Michaelle Knight! HERE

June 13, July 18, August 8 – every month we guide you through new doors that lead to growth & hope!

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. When your plans get unexpectedly interrupted and you find yourself in a time of transition, what emotions come up for you?

2. In times of transition, what strategies have you tried that have NOT been helpful?

3. Christine taught us how to un-blend our emotions or “parts”. What resonated with you? What strategies are you willing to try? What motivates you to un-blend your “parts” or emotions?

4. What’s one thing you can do to find an anchor in your anxiety or silence and solitude to promote calm in your life?

Resources:

Are you in a season of TRANSITION? Do you want to find firm footing in times of change?

Then sign up for Laura’s Summer Webinars with Dr. Michaelle Knight! HERE

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I’ve been a person of faith along time AND I still wrestle with negative talk in my head. How do I stop all the negative chatter?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. Draw a map of your mind and label different areas with thoughts that often repeat. Which ones do you think are negative (-) thoughts, which ones are positive (+) thoughts? You can label or color code them.

2. Look at each thought you recorded, who’s voice is in your mind? It’s common to have more than one voice competing for your attention.

3. How did some of these voices protect you as a child or lead you to become the person you are today?

4. What would it look like to befriend or be curious about each voice you labelled?

5. Laura shared these insights from her neurobiology class. What gets our attention, focuses our thoughts’ direction, builds new neuro connections, and leads to personal transformation. How does knowing this encourage you to intentionally choose what you pay attention to? Give an example where you’ve seen this play out in your life.

Resources:

Becoming Aware by Daniel Seigel – Book

The Artist’s Way By Julia Cameron – Book

I.F.S Therapy – 8 C’s calm, clarity, compassion, connection, confidence, courage, creativity, curiosity

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I’m really lonely. I wish I could find a life partner. I’ve always wanted to get married. It’s really hard on the weekends. I don’t trust dating apps. How do I learn to be content with being alone?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. When do you often feel lonely? How can you relate to this woman’s question?

2. Where do you find external community and a sense of belonging?

3. In what ways can you develop inner self-love or radical acceptance?

4. What vows can you make to yourself? Brainstorm several then pick your top 3-5.

Soul Challenge:

Write 3-5 personal vows you pledge to yourself. Post them somewhere you’ll see often.

Resources:

The Heroine’s Journey Workbook by Maureen Murdock – Book

God, Sex, and Musical Theatre by Kristin Hanggi Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I’m a single woman now. My husband died five years ago from cancer. I’ve always had a dream of doing mission work and recently found out I could be a nurse with Doctor’s Without Borders. I’ve never had the courage to change my life so dramatically. Do I follow my dream or stay in my comfort zone and continue to do what’s practical?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. When have you stood at a cross road and had to make a risky choice? What dreams and fears collided at that choice point?

2. Who do you identify as an ancient of days heroine? How can see model for you?

3. When have you taken a radical risk to pursue a dream or desire? What did you learn about yourself in the process?

4. If you choose to live a bold, brave, or risky life, who will you be influencing?

Soul Challenge:

Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you? Please submit them at www.soulenchilada.com

Resources:

Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler – Book

The Heroine’s Journey Workbook by Maureen Murdock – Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

At work, I’m the director of my department. I really like my job but I want a promotion, a new position of greater responsibility and authority. How can I find the courage to self-promote and apply for new positions?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. How do you get sabotaged by your inner critic? What does is often say?

2. Can you think of a time when you waited for someone to rescue or validate you? Share your story.

3. When have you criticized a man in your life for something you needed to activate in your life?

4. Where do you need to self-promote? What holds you back? How can you take the next step of courage?

5. Stand in a warrior position (yoga or make up your own). How can your body claim more authority in your life? What would that look like?

Soul Challenge:

Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you? Please submit them at www.soulenchilada.com

Resources:

Your Body Language My Shape Who You Are – TED Talk by Amy Cudy – Talk

The Confidence Gap – Link

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

How can I empower my adult children to turn to God and trust their relationship with Him without me (Mom) as constant intermediary?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What is the nature of your “mother wound”? Was your mother more likely to be intrusive, controlling, rejecting, neglectful or somewhere in between?

2. How have your mother’s limitations played out in your life?

3. What would it look like to forgive your mother for her limitations? If you have forgiven her already, describe your journey.

4. When you think of your own limitations, what would it look like to forgive yourself?

5. If you are a mother, in what ways can you share with your childhood that they have everything they need within themselves to make decisions and /or move forward?

Soul Challenge:

Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you? Please submit them at www.soulenchilada.com

Resources:

The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness by Maureen Murdock Book

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free from the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julia Lythcott-Haims Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week's Listener Question:

I went through a divorce a couple of years ago. I still feel like I’m wandering in the dark

and can’t get over it. How do I get over this and move on?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What grade in school would have skipped if you could?

2. Christine and Laura shared several ideas for practicing rituals to help us move

through loss. Which ones resonate with you?

1. What sign posts, guides, or strategies have you discovered while you were

walking in darkness?

1. Think of a loss you’ve experienced. Where could you find community with other

people who understand the road you’re walking?

Soul Challenge:

Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising

for you. Please submit them at www.soulenchilada.com

Resources:

The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness by Maureen Murdock Book

Learning to Walk in the Dark by Barbara Brown Taylor Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I have been fighting depression for over a year now with little to no relief. I’ve tried different medications and nothing seems to work. What would you suggest I do now?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. When have you gone through a dark night of the soul? What did you learn about yourself?

2. What life events or disruptions can catapult us or the ones we love into depression or darkness?

3. In dark times of your life, who has been an ally, supportive companion, or trusted guide?

4. If you think about depression as something that clears out space, what new or fresh opportunities might be possible after the clearing?

5. How could dark times in light actually become a guide or light for what’s next?

Soul Challenge:

Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you. Please submit them at www.soulenchilada.com

Resources:

The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness by Maureen Murdock Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth

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This Week’s Listener Question:

Why is life so hard? I’ve going through a divorce, hate my job, and my best friend and I are fighting all the time. Does all this mean I’m on the wrong path? And if so, how do I get on the right one?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. Where in your life are you playing it safe or clinging to old patterns? How might you step out or let go to move forward?

2. When have you played the martyr, sacrificing yourself to take care of someone else? What did you learn from this?

3. When was the last time imposter syndrome ramped up for you? Where were you and what voices were repeating in your head?

4. Have you ever looked to a romantic love to rescue, heal, or complete you? If so, share your story and conclusions.

5. We live in a world that is constantly telling us we’re not enough and need to hustle for approval. Where do you see this the most?

Soul Challenge:

Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you. Please submit them at www.soulenchilada.com

Resources:

The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness by Maureen Murdock Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week's Listener Question:

I don't like change at all. I like routine and predictability. Is the Heroine's Journey just for adventurous people or for all of us?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What did it mean to be a “good girl” in your family of origin?

2. How have you tried to separate from a mother figure and win a father’s approval?

3. What skills are now in your masculine arsenal such as competition, productivity, overworking, persuasion, achievement…? Where do you see these showing up during the week?

4. How can you trust yourself and step into your gifted space to live in your full capacity? What obstacles arise when you think of doing this?

5. What character traits need to increase in you to support you along this journey such as perseverance, courage, collaboration, confidence, strength, or faith? Write that one word on a sticky note and leave it in a place you will see it often.

Soul Challenge:

Christine and Laura unpacked stage two of the Heroine’s Journey. Journal about the questions above and continue recording your personal quest. What questions arise for you. Please submit them at www.soulenchilada.com

Announcement:

Laura’s next faith study, Identity Theft, has been rescheduled for the Fall of 2024. Mark your calendars now. Registration will open in August for a launch date in early September. We hope to see you online or in person!

Resources:

The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness by Maureen Murdock

Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week's Listener Question:

Christine and Laura, I feel stuck. My life feels like I’m just going through the motions – same thing, same ways, every single day. There has to be more! What do I do to get unstuck?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. In what places of your life are you feeling stuck?

2. What fears or concerns are keeping you clinging to safety or the same routines?

3. How might pain be a catalyst for change in your life? Share a time when pain actually pushed you forward in a good way.

4. Who can you invite into this “Heroine’s Journey” quest and conversation? We’re stronger together and never meant to walk life’s journey alone.

Soul Challenge:

Laura and Christine will continue to unpack the Heroine’s Journey for the next few weeks. They will be inviting you to take steps of courage. So, grab a journal and start recording your personal quest.

Announcement:

Laura’s next faith study, Identity Theft, has been rescheduled for the Fall of 2024. Mark your calendars now. Registration will open in August for a launch date in early September. We hope to see you online or in person!

Resources:

The Retreat Christine mentioned – The Porch Community

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

Book

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I lost my mother two years ago and had to be strong for my dad. Now we’re getting close to the anniversary of her death and I’m getting really anxious and angry at everyone who wants to talk about it. How do I deal with this?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. Name some of the small and large losses you’ve suffered in the last several years. What emotions have come up for you?

2. How does grief tend to manifest in your body? (chest, neck, throat, back, belly…) What body sensations or muscle tension do you notice you’re carrying?

3. Who are some people you trust who can witness your grief?

4. Christine and Laura shared that mourning is the outpouring of your grief and needs to be witnessed. What holds you back from mourning with others?

5. What are some ways you can discharge the grief held in your body or soul? (sway, run, sing, play music, stretch, meditate, pray…)

Soul Challenge:

Do you struggle to walk confidently in your true identity? Laura is leading a powerful class, IDENTITY THEFT, online and in person starting on April 4, 2024. Learn more here – Who Does God Say You Are? Use this discount code for $10 off the entire class – FRIENDID

Resources:

Where’d You Park Your Spaceship? An Interplanetary Tale of Love, Loss, and Bread

by Rob Bell – Book

IDENTITY THEFT Who Do You Say I Am? April 4 – May 2, 2024

by Laura Busse and Jen Severn – 5 Week Class

Have a question for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE

Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE

Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

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This Week’s Listener Question:

My husband seems to have the same sexual appetite he had in his 20’s. My sexual appetite, on the other hand, has completely died. What’s wrong with me?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What were you taught about sex while you were growing up? Can you relate to Christine’s “good girl” complex?

2. How does sexual shame lock so many women up today? What practical steps of can we take that move us in the direction of freedom? What’s one you could take today?

3. How do you think outside stressors impact the intimacy and emotional bonding of couples? List the top five stressors you see in relationships.

4. If you’re married, what stressors are you experiencing in this season of life? How might you prioritize stress reduction and erotic playfulness?

Soul Challenge:

If you want to go deeper in your faith, take a look at how Jesus treated the woman at the well in John chapter 6. How did Jesus treat her, challenge her, and what did He call her to do? What does this divine encounter tell us about Jesus’ thoughts and emotions towards women?

Resources:

Esther Perel’s TED Talk – The Secret to Desire in a Long Term Relationship

Desire Talk

The Gottman Institute, Dr. John Gotman – Making Marriage Work

Watch on You Tube

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Yes. You read that right. I don’t remember this class being offered in school.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I heard your last episode (Soul Enchilada #69). I’d like to go deeper. What do you do when you’re in the third stage of marriage and your partner is resigned. It feels like he’s completely given up on making our marriage better.

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. Think of your most significant relationship, what stage you are currently in?

Stage 1 – Romantic / Infatuation

Stage 2 – Disillusionment / Distraction

Stage 3 – Contentment / Radical Acceptance

1. How did your parents navigate the different stages of marriage? How did that impact you?

2. How would you describe radical acceptance in marriage or key relationships?

3. What’s one step or one way you can move from blame or criticism to expressing your needs or sharing invitations with your partner or in a key relationship?

Resources:

It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse―and How You Can, Too by Winifred M. Reilly Book

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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What do you do when you’ve been married for 25 years and there’s no passion left? Is it possible to get it back?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. Laura and Christine discussed the five different types of love languages and encourage you to discover yours and your partners.

Five Love Languages

· Words of Affirmation

· Physical Touch

· Quality Time

· Acts of Service

· Receiving Gifts

Do you know your top love language? If you don’t know it, here is a free quiz to discover it. Love Languages Quiz

1. If you could design your perfect date based on your love language, what would it look, sound, and feel like?

2. If we take our partner’s love language “off the table,” how does it damage the relationship and squelch our passion?

3. Why do you think pursuing our passions infuses passion into our relationships? How can you prioritize your passions this week?

Resources:

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel

Book

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski Book

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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What goes around comes around, as the saying goes. Caring for elderly parents bring up so many emotions that’s impossible to list them all here. Couple these with the overlay of decades of family dynamics and you’ve got yourself a good old fashioned mine field. This week we talk about walking through that mine field in ways that preserve relationships… and sanity.

This Week’s Listener Question:

Laura and Christine,

You've talked a lot about love, tough love, enabling vs. coming alongside in relationships. But I am in a new season of life and the challenge has switched from me being the parent on a parent child relationship, to me being the adult child dealing with an aging parent. I see friends who are personally doing everything as a caregiver for their aging parent, sacrificing their own health and well-being, relationships and finances because they think they are required or responsible to personally take care of their parents. As I am preparing to have conversations with my own parents about this matter, can you give me some insight as to if we are required as Christians or good adult children to personally take care of our parents? Or is it ok to hire caregivers and professionals to do so, even if the parent disagrees to the extent of shaming or worse, like refusing to eat or take meds unless their adult child is the one to do it for them? Thanks!

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What honest, open, and loving conversations do you need to have with your family? What fears come up for you when you think about having these talks? What positive outcomes could come out of having these conversations?

2. In this season of your life, what are a few of your deepest desires? What holds you back from sharing these desires with your family members? How could sharing them draw you closer together?

3. In your own words, describe what you think leading with love in conversations sounds like and feels like?

Resources:

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia

Book

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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We’ve all heard that one. Many of us have even used it as an excuse for being busy… too busy. This week we explore why we’re so busy and talk through strategies to slow ourselves down.

This Week’s Listener Question:

This past January, I set a goal to take time for myself to meditate and pray. But I can’t slow down and sit still. What’s wrong with me?

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. Think back to your family of origin. What was modeled to you around busyness? Did people have permission to slow down, rest, or play?

2. When you find yourself racing around and staying busy all the time what might you be avoiding?

3. What rituals or habits help you launch and land your day with calmness? If you don’t have any, what could you start this week?

Apps to Explore:

Calm

Head Space

10 % Happier

Abide

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Conflict. Peace MAKERS resolve it, while peace KEEPERS avoid it. While making peace is harder, it is better in the long run, because the conflict you avoid today will find you tomorrow. This week we talk strategies for how to best handle conflicts in order to minimize their impacts on your mental health and sanity.

This Week’s Listener Question:

My husband and I often fight in front of our kids. I really don’t like conflict and try to keep the peace. What’s your advice for dealing with family conflict?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. What’s your window of tolerance when it comes to conflict?

2. What childhood stories can you remember that impacted your window of tolerance?

3. Make a list of the differences between peace keeping and peace making? Circle the ones you do most often.

4. How can you actively resolve conflict instead of avoiding it? That’s peace making!

Resources:

Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – Video

Fighting for Your Marriage – Book

Non-Violent Communication – Book

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It's good to feel wanted. But what happens when that feeling drives you to say "yes" to everything? It's chaos. This week we talk about the burnout that goes along with people pleasing and work towards being able to say "no" in a healthy, relationship and sanity preserving way.

This Week's Listener Question:

I’m a volunteer at my church. Clearly, I have a reputation of being a helper because I’m constantly asked to serve in many different areas. The problem is I feel really burned out but guilty saying NO when asked to help.

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Where are you constantly pouring out energy and time and could easily become burned out?

2. What concerns or fears come up for you when you think about saying no or disappointing someone?

3. On a scale of one to ten, ten being I live to please people, where are you? What proof do you have that backs up your number?

4. Soul Challenge: Spend 15+ minutes alone in quiet. Pray and ask yourself… what is my calling in this season of my life? Write down any words, phrases, ideas, goals, or plans that come to you in this quiet time. Be brave and share these insights with someone who will encourage your journey moving forward in 2024.

Resources:

How to Stop People-Pleasing Article

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This Week's Listener’s Question:

I’m so exhausted all the time. I have so many demands on my time and energy. I’m working full time, raising three kids, and trying to be a good everything, a good wife, mother, friend, daughter… How do I juggle all the balls in my life and maintain some kind of balance?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. What are all of the balls you’re trying to juggle in this season of your life? Which ones are you juggling well and which ones are you dropping?

2. When it comes to accomplishing all the demands in your life, where do you notice self-judgment or an inner critic coming up?

3. Was does your inner critic often say? Is this voice pushing you be perfect? Whose voice could your inner critic be? How could you tell this voice to relax, rest, step back, or shut up?

4. Christine encouraged us to be “floppy” this week and drop some balls or disappoint someone. What does this challenge bring up for you? Are you willing to take the challenge? If so, what’s your plan?

Resources:

Perfectionism: 10 Signs of Perfectionist Traits: https://ARTICLE

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Want more parts? Like it or not, you’ve got them. This week we continue our talk about how to emphasize the good ones and send the “bad” ones packing.

This Week’s Listener Question:

On the Soul Enchilada Podcast, you often talk about “parts” of us. I’m confused. What’s the difference between parts and emotions?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

What are your default managing parts? What parts help you run your daily life?

What are your firefighter parts? What parts help you numb out or distract you from your big emotions?

What parts do you think relate to your childhood story?

Which parts are you trying to get rid of? How might your change relationship with these parts?

Resources:

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz

Book

The Internal Family Systems Model Website

https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline

The Internal Family Systems Model Outline

Understanding Parts

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Let’s face it, ladies, we’re complicated. We’re a mix of different thoughts, emotions, and experiences… and that mix can change from day to day. We like to refer to that mix as a collection of “parts.”

So let’s start off the new year at ground zero – talking about our “parts:” how they make us who we are, and how we can put them in the best order.

This Week’s Listener Question:

On the Soul Enchilada Podcast, you tow often talk about “parts” of us. I’m confused. What are you talking about?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

What protective parts do you notice coming up for you lately? (anger, shame, perfectionism, performance, peace keeping…)

The 8 C’s in Internal Family Systems Therapy are: calm, clarity, compassion, confidence, connection, courage, creative, curiosity. Which C’s have you been experiencing lately? Where were you and what were you doing?

Which of the 8 C’s do you need more of in this new year? Why so? What needs to change or grow to experience more of this C in 2024?

Resources:

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz

Book

The Internal Family Systems Model Website

https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Dreams. We’ve all had some weird ones. Ones where we’ve woken up and wondered HOW on earth our brains came up with that. Do our dreams actually mean anything? If so, how do we figure them out. This week, we talk dreams… Christine’s whack one in particular. What they may mean and whether God’s got anything to do with them.

This Week's Listener Question:

Last week we talked about all the ways God speaks to us and you mentioned dreams as being one way. I’m curious, are dreams really worth listening to, analyzing, or contemplating?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? If so, what do you remember about it?

2. Do you think God has ever spoken to you through a dream? What was the message you heard? Did you receive it and act on it?

3. Think of a dream you’ve had recently. What were some of the symbols or objects in your dream? What associations can you make between the symbols and your life?

4. What might be an invitation from one of your dreams?

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Three words that have been used, and mis-used, by all religions since the beginning of time. Although it's a stretch to believe that God "speaks" to us in an audible voice, he does communicate with us through the Holy Spirit's "still small voice." Some dismiss that as just intuition, but many of us having experienced it, believe it is so much more.

This week we talk about how to better listen and discern that what we're hearing is truth.

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Conflict is part of life, unfortunately. Especially around the holidays. But what happens when that conflict leaves you cut off from the people and things you love? This week, we talk strategies for navigating conflict and building bridges.. even when you weren’t the one to tear them down

This Week’s Listener Question:

What should I so for the holidays when my daughter-in-law has cut us off from our son and grandchildren? I desperately want to see them and build memories. Help!

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Have you ever been cut off from someone you care about?

2. Imagine yourself communicating your feelings, needs, and requests in a calm manner with someone you’re in conflict with. What does the conversation look, sound, and feel like?

3. Why is important to be clear about your boundaries and expectations during the holiday season?

4. Soul Activity – Who do you need to reach out to and start a calm and hopefully healing conversation with this week? Be brave and share you true feelings, needs, and requests.

Resources:

Non-Verbal Communication

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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How’s your relationship with shopping? Do you just get what you need, or do you feel like you always need to get more… even when you actually NEED nothing? How and why we shop is complicated and is layered with guilt around debt and need for self- fulfillment.

This week, we talk shopping and how to maintain a balance when the pressure is ramped up during the Holidays.

This Week’s Listener Question:

This time of year, I feel pressured to shop… and shop and shop and shop. But… I’m in credit card debt and my partner and I fight all the time about finances. After I shop, I often feel guilty or disappointed with myself. How do I find a balance between my budget and my spending?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. How would you describe yourself as a shopper?

2. What emotions arise in you when you shop compulsively vs. intentionally?

3. How do finances and/or debt impact your closest relationships?

4. Christine and Laura encouraged you to share honesty with your family what is most important to you this year and how to take care of yourself during the stress of the holidays. What new rituals could you start and what past patterns need to stop?

5. Soul Activity – Keep a gratitude journal during the holidays and daily write down 3-5 people, places, or things you’re truly grateful for. Share this growing list with a loved one instead of your shopping list ;)

Resources:

Debt In America: Statistics and Demographics

www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/debt/average-american-debt-statistics/

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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There are few things as painful as being betrayed by someone you trusted. It shakes our world and shatters our trust in others and our faith in ourselves. This week, we talk about how to deal with the pain of betrayal and steps of courage we can take to build back a level of trust that allows to maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I’ve been betrayed by my husband. I’ve built everything in my life with him. Now my entire future feels shattered. How can I best cope with this devastation and move forward?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Share a time when you’ve been betrayed by someone you trusted.

2. Did your betrayal feel like a landslide, tornado, tsunami, or other reference to devastation? How would you describe it?

3. Why do you think relationships take courage and faith? In your mind, what else do they take? Why it is worth it?

4. What’s one step of courage you could take this week to build or rebuild trust in a relationship important to you?

5. Soul Activity – Spend at least 20 seconds hugging someone you love. How do you feel after the long squeeze?

6. Soul Enchilada Steps of Faith + Therapy:

· Grief – Who or what do you need to grieve when it comes to betrayal?

· Ground – Take a few minutes to ground yourself, feel the chair holding you, and breathe in what you need and exhale what’s holding you back.

· Gratitude – Make a mental list of people, places, and things you’re grateful for. Thank God for each one.

· Gather – Intentionally reach out to a few friends or family members and make a plan to spend time together.

Resources:

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis A. Spring, PhD

Book

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not to

by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD

Book

Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold it, and How to Fix it When it Gets Broken in Life and Business by Dr. Henry Cloud

Book

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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This Week's Listener Question:

My life feels like a really bad country song. I was diagnosed with cancer. My parents died in a car crash. And one of my kids is addicted to drugs. How do I keep going when I’m always in survival mode?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. What trials are you currently walking through in your life?

2. Have you ever had a season in life where you feel like you were living a really bad country song? What would be some of the lyrics?

3. Where have you found radical and helpful support in a tough time?

4. How do you think the stories we tell ourselves impact our soul and future?

5. How might choosing a resilient pathway positively impact your near future?

Resources:

Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make us Whole by Susan Cain

Book

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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The combination of Daylight Savings Time and Fall moving into Winter means things are getting dark. For many of us, that darkness creeps into our emotional state as well. Changes of season, both in the climate and in our lives can be challenging, but they also bring about opportunities for growth and positive change.

This Week’s Listener Question:

Christine, we just turned our clocks back in Colorado for daylight savings. I despise the fact that it’s dark before 5:00 pm now. Fall makes me feel depressed. My body and mind seem to resist this time of year. I just want to fast forward to Spring. You’re always helping us see different perspectives. Can you give me greater hope to embrace Fall into Winter?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. How do you feel about the changing seasons and the shortening of daylight? What emotions come up for you?

2. Do you like the idea of hunkering down or do you have parts that resist it?

3. During this season of your life, what do you need to surrender, let go of, or prioritize?

4. Tap into your curiosity and brainstorm a list of new creative projects or growth opportunities that could enrich this season of your life.

Resources:

Wintering by Katherine May

Book

Learning to Walk in the Darkness by Barbara Brown Taylor

Book

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Let’s face it, it can be pretty challenging to deal with another person’s negative emotions. When we feel like we’re being sucked down into their pit, our first reaction is often to counter with something positive. But, as it turns out, that’s not always the best thing… either for their emotional wellbeing, or your relationship with them.

This week, we talk through strategies to deal with negativity in both ourselves and the people we love… and find hard to love.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I have a really sulky teenager. She comes home every day in a mad mood and spews negativity. What can I do to change her attitude?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Think about a person in your life who often spews negativity. What emotions come up in you when you’re around them?

2. What makes it hard to “mine” for the emotions, or what Christine calls parts, underneath negativity? Do you tend to get caught up in the content or try to change other people’s attitudes?

3. When have you experience toxic positivity? How does it make you feel? How does it impact our relationships?

4. How can you validate other people’s emotions to build them up and create deeper connections? Think of one person you can uplift, encourage, and validate this week. Now go and bless them!

Resources:

This Is Why Toxic Positivity Can Be So Harmful

Very Well Article

Toxic Positivity

Psychology Today Article

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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No matter how long we’ve been in a relationship, no matter how secure it feels, there are always forces and temptations out there to undermine it. Some from without, and some from within. This week, we talk about those forces and strategies to affair-proof your relationships.

Listener’s Question:

I read a text stream that my husband has with a woman at work. They share very private and intimate information with one another. Is this an emotional affair?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. What is your personal definition of an emotional affair?

2. Were you surprised by the statistics at 30-50% of couples report having an emotional or physical affair? Why or why not?

3. Thinking of your partner or a significant relationship in your life, in what ways do you channel energy outside of this relationship? How might you redirect this energy back in?

4. What are some helpful strategies for affair proofing your relationship?

Resources:

9 Signs You’re Having an Emotional Affair

Very Well Article

Emotional Infidelity: The Devastating, Destructive Love Affairs that Involve No Sex at All

The Guardian Article

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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It’s widely believed that we admire and are attracted to people with characteristics we do not possess ourselves. As a result, our closest relationships are often with our opposites, which can make it challenging to remain close.

We’ve been married to our opposites for quite a while now, so this week, we talk about why we’re different… and how to maintain deep, close connections with each other.

This Week’s Listener Question:

My husband doesn’t go very deep with his emotions. I’m super lonely in my marriage. I keep giving him books to read to deepen our connection, but he won’t do it. Help!

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Do you feel like you’re attracted to relationships with people who are opposite or similar to you?

2. Have you ever taken the Myers Brigg’s test? If so, what did you learn about yourself? If not, check out the free test listed in our resource section.

3. Do differences in your closest relationships ever leave you feeling lonely? How can you meet the needs of your lonely parts?

4. Are you willing to share what makes you feel energized and lonely with your partner or a close friend? What would that look and sound like?

Resources:

Personality Test Based on Jung and Briggs Myers Typology – https://www.humanmetrics.com/

Please Understand Me 11: Temperament, Character, Intelligence by David Keirsey

Book

Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child’s Personality Type – And Become a Better Parent by Paul E. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger

Book

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Secrets. We’ve all got them. According to one study, the average parson has five secrets they’ve never told anyone. Why do we keep them? For the most part it’s shame. And as we’ve talked about before, shame is corrosive.

This week, we talk through the benefits of, and strategies for, getting things out in the open.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I grew up believing loyal families never share their secrets. My husband tells his golfing buddies details about our marriage and family. What do you think should be kept secret and what’s fair to share?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. What were your family rules around secrets? What was safe to talk about and forbidden to share? How did that help or hinder your family?

2. What are your reactions to the statistics Christine share about secrets? Were you surprised?

3. Why do you think we keep secrets?

4. How do you discern who you can trust and share your secrets with?

5. What conversations do you feel compelled to have with your family to clarify boundaries about what is safe to share?

Resources:

When Do Your Secrets Hurt Your Well-Being?

Secrets Article

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Regrets. We've all got more than we'd like. Some of us have more than we can count...

This week, we talk about three commons regrets and some strategies to keep them from weighing us down to the point where we're stuck in the past. So listen in. You won't regret it...

Listener’s Question:

I’m going through a divorce and I can’t get past the feeling of regret that I choose the wrong person and wasted so much time. How do I get over this?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Name a few regrets you have in your life. Are they more from bad decisions or missed opportunities?

2. Christine and Laura talked about these three commons regrets: courage to live true to myself, not staying in touch with friends, and expressing your true feelings. Which one do you most resonate with and why?

3. Reflecting upon your regrets, what’s one of two invitations or assignments you’d be willing to take on this week?

Resources:

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing

by Bronnie Ware – BOOK Link

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connections and the Language of Human Experience by Brene Brown – BOOK Link

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Regrets. We've all got more than we'd like. Some of us have more than we can count...

This week, we talk about three commons regrets and some strategies to keep them from weighing us down to the point where we're stuck in the past. So listen in. You won't regret it...

Listener’s Question:

I’m going through a divorce and I can’t get past the feeling of regret that I choose the wrong person and wasted so much time. How do I get over this?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Name a few regrets you have in your life. Are they more from bad decisions or missed opportunities?

2. Christine and Laura talked about these three commons regrets: courage to live true to myself, not staying in touch with friends, and expressing your true feelings. Which one do you most resonate with and why?

3. Reflecting upon your regrets, what’s one of two invitations or assignments you’d be willing to take on this week?

Resources:

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing

by Bronnie Ware – BOOK Link

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connections and the Language of Human Experience by Brene Brown – BOOK Link

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Bad things happen to good people, and they happen to “bad” people. They happen to everyone. When it feels like they are piling up on and around us, we can begin to “catastrophize” even the smallest of things. A headache becomes a brain tumor and our minds are off to the races. This week we talk strategies to ground our minds when we start feeling out of control.

This Week’s Listener Question:

One of my good friends died a few years ago from cancer. My husband just had a prostate cancer scare. Any time my body feels weird, I’m afraid it’s cancer. Am I paranoid? What’s wrong with me?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. When do you find yourself catastrophizing, turning headaches into brain tumors?

2. Have you ever found yourself becoming addicted to fear, bad news, or paranoia?

3. When we feel out of control, we are often tempted to engage in behaviors that Christine listed as self-harm: disordered eating, cutting, avoidance, isolation, or rumination. What strategies do you use to attempt to control things outside your control?

4. In what ways can you shift your thoughts and strategies to help you ground yourself in the present movement when you feel out of control? What’s useful action mentioned in the podcast that you’re willing to try this week?

Resources:

Addiction to Negative News - LINK

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Bad things happen to good people, and they happen to “bad” people. They happen to everyone. When it feels like they are piling up on and around us, we can begin to “catastrophize” even the smallest of things. A headache becomes a brain tumor and our minds are off to the races. This week we talk strategies to ground our minds when we start feeling out of control.

This Week’s Listener Question:

One of my good friends died a few years ago from cancer. My husband just had a prostate cancer scare. Any time my body feels weird, I’m afraid it’s cancer. Am I paranoid? What’s wrong with me?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. When do you find yourself catastrophizing, turning headaches into brain tumors?

2. Have you ever found yourself becoming addicted to fear, bad news, or paranoia?

3. When we feel out of control, we are often tempted to engage in behaviors that Christine listed as self-harm: disordered eating, cutting, avoidance, isolation, or rumination. What strategies do you use to attempt to control things outside your control?

4. In what ways can you shift your thoughts and strategies to help you ground yourself in the present movement when you feel out of control? What’s useful action mentioned in the podcast that you’re willing to try this week?

Resources:

Addiction to Negative News - LINK

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Introverts and Extroverts are two very different types of people. Which one are you? As you might have guessed, we’re both extroverts. But we’re married to introverts, which can sometimes be challenging. This week, we talk about how to embrace who you are and give some tips on how to integrate well with the opposites.

Listen’s Question:

Sometimes I feel like my husband and I are incompatible. I love to travel and spend time with girlfriends and he’s a homebody. He wants to stay home all the time. What should I do?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Which members of your family are introverted and which ones are extroverted? How have you discovered that different people need different schedules and space?

2. Do you ever feel pressure to conform to a certain personality type or pace of life? How do you often negotiate these situations?

3. How might we encourage and appreciate both introverts and extroverts?

4. In what ways are you and your partner or close friend similar and different in your hobbies, interests, and passions? How might you budget your time differently to make space to honor their hobbies, interests, or passions?

Resources:

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3UMUFAXYQ7M1G&keywords=quiet+susan+cain+book&qid=1695741898&sprefix=quiet+su%2Caps%2C829&sr=8-1

Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell

https://www.amazon.com/Tipping-Point-Little-Things-Difference/dp/0316346624/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3V3PVM3EXQO2G&keywords=malcolm+gladwell+tipping+point&qid=1695742173&sprefix=Malcolm+Gladwell+Tipping+%2Caps%2C231&sr=8-1

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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This week, we continue to take on loneliness by talking about solutions to help you find connections in our disconnected world. There’s something here for just about everybody!

This Week’s Listener Question:

My daughter left for college three weeks ago. She called to tell me how lonely she is. Oh… my heart breaks thinking of her alone in her room. I get it! I feel lonely a lot of the time too. What should we do?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. Recently, what is bringing you joy or energizing you?

2. What is challenging or draining you?

3. What opportunities or invitations have come your way?

4. Christine and Laura talked about many different rituals or habits for building stronger connections with others. (Examples – 8 minute phone call, weekly brunch, monthly Zoom meeting, scheduled hobby or walk…) What’s one ritual you’re willing to practice regularly to develop meaningful connections?

5. Women often dissociate from their feelings and needs, such as putting off going to the bathroom;) In what ways could you better connect with your feelings and sensations? How might connecting with yourself encourage connections with others?

Resources:

The Porch – A Slow Conversation About Beautiful and Difficult Things

The Porch

Hidden Brain Podcast – A Social Prescription 04/20/2020

Former U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murphy, considers why loneliness is a public health risk and how we can all deepen our social ties.

The Blue Zones Secrets for Living Longer: Lessons from Healthiest Places on Earth

by Dan Buettner

The Blue Zones

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaning Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brene Brown

Atlas of the Heart

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Loneliness is an epidemic. Although we’ve never been more connected online, 79% of adults report being lonely. And loneliness is a killer. It’s been shown that the negative health effects of being lonely are equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day!

This week we tackle loneliness, with some tips on how to break out and make the connections you need.

This Week’s Listener Question:

My daughter left for college three weeks ago. She called to tell me how lonely she is. Oh… my heart breaks thinking of her alone in her room. I get it! I feel lonely a lot of the time too. What should we do?

This week we talk strategies to reach out and overcome loneliness.

Small Group Questions:

1. What statistics about loneliness surprised you? Which ones didn’t surprise you at all? (see links below for more data)

2. Why do you think we’re living in the age of loneliness?

3. What strategies for connection are you willing to try?

4. How can showing up multiple times and being vulnerable encourage authentic connections and community?

5. Who could you reach out to this week who might be feeling lonely? In what meaningful ways could you connect with this person? Make a plan and go!

Resources:

The Roots of Loneliness Project – Loneliness Statistics

Loneliness Crisis Comparable to… – 15 Cigarettes a Day

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Ever heard of the Enneagram? It’s often thought of as a “personality test.” But it’s so much more than that. It’s a great way to figure out the type of person you are and recognize the strategies you use to make your way in the world.

You may want to take it first, before listening to the episode www.truity.com

This week we geek out a little on the Enneagram; what it is, how it works, and what you can do with it.

Key Question:

Hey, I keep hearing people talking about the Enneagram. Is it safe or helpful for people of faith to take the test? What do you know about it?

Small Group Questions:

1. What personality tests have you taken? Why have or haven’t they been helpful for you?

2. Below you find a link to take the Enneagram test. After doing so, what are your two highest types?

3. How do you resonate with your Enneagram results? What feels good and true? What are you surprised by?

4. How do your strengths and greatest gifts relate to your weaknesses?

5. Instead of going into a “shame storm” what’s one way you could develop a personal or spiritual practice for greater self-awareness?

Resources:

Enneagram TEST – www.truity.com

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan

The Road Back to You

Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery by Don Richard Riso

Personality Types

Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson

Wisdom of the Enneagram

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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We’ve all heard the phrase “no pain, no gain.” Most of the time we don’t like hearing it, but it’s true. In our world of access to comfort, it’s easy to avoid the pain of doing hard things and we miss out on becoming our best selves.

Small Group Questions:

1. Is there a situation right now that you’re trying to control? What leverage do you or don’t you have?

2. When Christine mentioned letting go of someone or something, what immediately came to your mind? Why is this hard to let go of? In what ways would you benefit if you truly let go of it?

3. Think of a time when you embraced discomfort to build your character. What did you learn about yourself in the process?

4. What emotions are you most uncomfortable with – loneliness, sadness, grief, hunger, anger, regret, or another? Why do you think this emotion is particularly hard for you?

5. What the next hard thing you know you need to do? Make a plan and take the first step. We believe in you!

Resources:

Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke

Hidden Brain Podcast – #1 The Paradox of Pleasure – July 10, 2023, #2 The Path to Enough – July 17, 2023

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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On some level, we’re all addicted to Dopamine, the chemical our bodies secrete when we’re experiencing pleasure. And that’s a good thing… in general. But in our world of easy access to all we want, many people are able to skip the pain of getting what’s pleasurable, and are left depressed and wanting more.

This week, we talk about some strategies for maintaining that balance.

This Week’s Listener Question:

My daughter in college smokes a lot of pot. I know it’s not addictive but I’ve noticed she’s not motivated to do the things she normally like to do. Should I be concerned and what should I do?

Small Group Questions:

1. Where do you see overindulgence in your world?

2. What substances or behaviors do you use to calm your discomfort, pain, or fatigue?

3. How might this substance or behavior impede your sense of purpose or your greater why?

4. Have you ever done a dopamine detox? What did you experience, learn, or feel?

Stay tuned and listen in on Soul Enchilada #44 where this important conversation continues.

Resources:

Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke

Hidden Brain Podcast

Episode – The Paradox of Pleasure – July 10, 2023

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Why do you do what you do?... WHY?

It’s such an important question, because the process of finding the answer can lead you to your passion and purpose, and maybe even out of an unfulfilling life on autopilot.

Small Group Questions:

1. What powerful insights can arise when you ask yourself ­– WHY do I do what I do?

2. What “tables could you turn over” in your life to be more purposeful in how you spend your time and efforts?

3. How can you tell when you’re out of alignment with your WHY?

4. When do you lose track of time and find yourself in “the flow” of energy, creativity, or passion?

5. If you led with your WHY and allowed passion and purpose to lead your soul, how might your calendar need to change?

Resources:

START WITH WHY How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

by Simon Sinek

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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When your mind works overtime, it’s hard to get much of anything done, let alone sleep at night. And counting sheep and medicating ourselves may be quick fixes, but they won’t stave off the inevitable depression, anxiety, and irritability that go along with insomnia. This week, we tackle sleep deprivation with healthy ways to calm those out of control thoughts.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I haven’t been able to turn my brain off lately and I can’t fall asleep at night. I’m definitely sleep deprived and irritable all the time. Help me sleep!

Small Group Questions:

1. How easy or difficult is it for you to calm down and “turn your brain off ?”

2. Why do you think our minds often work overtime during the day and night?

3. What are some calming exercises or sleeping routines you find most helpful?

4. What’s one new thing you could add to your sleep routine to help you rest more at night and practice better sleep hygiene?

Resources:

To Learn More About Sleep Hygiene

https://sleepeducation.org/healthy-sleep/healthy-sleep-habits/

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Nobody likes conflict. But it will eventually show up in our relationships… all of them. How we handle it says a lot about us and will determine the future of those relationships. This week, we talk about moving from blame, criticism, and judgement to a place where we handle conflicts with curiosity and compassion.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I have a friend who violated my confidentiality and I’m so hurt. Should I talk to her about it or just forget about it? If I choose to confront her, how should I go about it?

Small Group Questions:

1. What’s your first impulse or natural reaction when you’ve been hurt by someone?

2. What are most tempted to do in a conflict: blame the other person, criticize, avoid, gossip, stonewall, or vent to someone else (triangulation)?

3. How could choosing curiosity and compassion lead to conflict resolution or greater intimacy in one of your relationships?

4. What’s one step you could take to reconcile or repair a relationship?

Resources:

Rising Strong by Brene Brown

YouTube – The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Watch Here

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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It’s good to be wanted and needed, and it usually feels really good to help the people in our lives… as long as that relationship is in balance.

But what about when it’s not, when we’re doing for others what they could (and should) be doing for themselves? Whether that comes out of guilt, coercion, or a need to fulfill ourselves, it’s an unhealthy relational imbalance called “Co-Dependency.”

This week we talk about productive, relationship-friendly ways to identify and manage our co-dependent relationships. Because we could all use a little more balance.

This Week’s Listener Question:

My parents are both in their 80’s and needing more help around the house and assistance with daily living. I feel obligated to help more and more. What’s the difference between healthy caregiving and co-dependency?

Small Group Questions:

1. After hearing Christine’s definition of co-dependency, where do you think you might be over-functioning in your relationships?

2. What cultural narratives have you inherited from your family around care-giving?

3. What conversations do you need to have with family members about boundaries and expectations when it comes to topics like household chores, responsibilities, end of life decisions…?

4. What steps could you take to back out of an over-functioning or co-dependent relationship?

Resources:

Co-Dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

by Melody Beattie

Codependent No More

Yardsticks: Child and Adolescent Development Ages 4-14 by Chip Wood

Yardsticks

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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How we view our bodies drives what and how we eat. And, as we talked about last week, many of us struggle to have a positive image of ourselves. So it makes sense that many women wrestle with some degree of an eating disorder. It’s sometimes subtle, but it’s there… and it’s not good. This week, we’ll walk through how to recognize an eating disorder, why it’s there, and the first steps in overcoming it.

This Week's Listener Question:

I’m worried about my daughter. She refuses to eat meals with our family and she’s constantly taking pictures of herself for social media. How do I know if she’s struggling with an eating disorder or if I’m just being a worried mother?

Small Group Questions:

1. Christine listed different types of disordered eating. Which ones do you identify with or see often? Where do they typically show up?

2. Laura shared her family tree where eating disorders can be seen throughout the generations. When you reflect upon your family history, how would you describe family member’s relationship with food? How is that still showing up today?

3. How would you describe your relationship with food? Who could you share your insights with to start an open and honest conversation with?

4. Instead of trying to shrink ourselves, how can we take up more space in the world? Why is this important to do in our families, workplace, or circle of influences?

Resources:

Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth

Women, Food, and God Book

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Summer’s here, and for many women, so is the shame of having to show our bodies in shorts, t-shirts, or -GASP- even a bathing suit. Many of us have lived with this our whole lives, and despite knowing better, we just can’t break free. This week, we bring that shame out into the open and work through ways to squash the negative self-talk and love ourselves for the queens we are!

This Week’s Listener Question:

Hey Christine and Laura! Summer is a really hard time for me because I’m invited to all kinds of events where I should wear a bathing suit. I hate how I look, even in shorts. How do I get over this and still have fun this summer?

Small Group Questions:

1. Looking back on your childhood, what’s your first memory of being aware of body image? Do you have a story to share?

2. How has your relationship with your body image changed over time? How would you describe it today?

3. What parts of Laura’s and Christine’s stories do you relate most to?

4. In what ways can you invite gratitude and love into your self-talk? What times of the day would this practice be most helpful?

Resources:

THE BODY IS NOT AN APOLOGY by Sonya Renee Taylor

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Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Like The Soul Enchilada? You’re going to love this.

We’re hosting a series of LIVE CONVERSATIONS It will be like sitting in on a live Soul Enchilada podcast… and YOU get to participate

We’re going to take on the three most common issues women in my practice are struggling with

On July 20th, we’re talking anxiety and giving you practical steps for managing it and supporting loved ones who are wrestling with it.

If you can’t make the live session, that’s OK, we’ll record it for you, so you can watch it anytime you’d like. Plus, you’ll also get a downloadable guidebook you can refer back to… because who can remember everything the first time?

Go to soulenchilada.com to sign up. But do it fast, because space is limited..

See you there!

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If you think about it, faith can be challenging at times. Even when we’re feeling strong in ours, others may be wavering, or even totally shut off. But it’s natural, and even healthy to doubt. Because doubting can be a catalyst for healthy conversations and introspection that can strengthen our own relationship with God.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I’m really frustrated because Sundays cause big arguments in my family. I end up going to church all by myself. My teenagers are really doubting the faith they grew up in and my husband usually sides with them. I’m really sad. What do you think I should do?

Small Group Questions:

1. Think back when you were a child… What did your family teach you about spirituality or faith?

2. What do you remember about breaking out or moving beyond the fantasy stage of faith?

3. Have you ever hit a “wall” which caused you to enter into a season of doubt or question your faith? Describe that season and share where you are today.

4. Take a look at Fowler’s Stages of Faith (see resources). What do you resonate with? What new learning did you gain? How might knowing the stages of faith challenge you to grow or see beyond other “boxes”?

Resources:

Stages of Faith by James W. Fowler

Fowler's Stages of Faith .pdf

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Extreme views seem to be the norm these days. “You’re on my side, or you’re wrong!”

But what about when people claim their views are God’s views? This tends to make any discussion of the matter like walking through a minefield, so most of us just stay quiet. Nobody really likes conflict, but sometimes you just have to speak up. So when should we do that, and how?

This Week’s Listener Question:

It seems like a lot of religious people hold polarized views on political issues that in my mind are not clear in the Bible. My small group has gotten into heated debates where women are claiming their views are God’s view. I hate conflict and want harmony. I’m tempted to just quit the group. When do you think I should speak up?

Small Group Questions:

1.   When have you found yourself in a group of people who hold vastly different views on political, social, or spiritual issues?

2.  What “parts” or emotions rise up in you when you find yourself in a conflictual conversation?

3.  In what ways can leading with love in small groups encourage respectful conversations and help develop deeper relationships even when opinions differ greatly?

4.  Why would encourage the woman who asked the question to stay in her small group instead of quitting?

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Everyone makes bad choices. But they don’t have to haunt us for the rest of our lives. This week, we talk about how bad choices and regrets can actually be opportunities to learn and grow once we learn to forgive ourselves. After all, we were all just doing the best we could at the time.

This Week's Listener Question:

I just returned from a class reunion where I ran into an old boyfriend. Let’s just say that was a huge trigger reminding me of the choices I made during a very dark season of my life. How do I live with intense regret and the knowledge that I wasted so many years?

This Week’s Listener Question:

1. What parts or emotions come up for when you’re reflecting on past mistakes or perceived failures in life?

2. Are you willing to share a past regret with a trusted friend or your small group? How does being vulnerable with others open the door for deeper relationships?

3. After listening to Laura and Christine’s strategies for letting go of our past regrets, what’s one you’re willing to try?

4. Christine shared that God doesn’t waste anything, including our mistakes. Think of a time when a mistake you made was somehow used for good. Be brave and share your story with someone who might be struggling with regret today.

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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When faced with situations where there is no obvious solution, we are often so overwhelmed by the confusion that we grab at an answer just to “make it stop.” But confusion can be fertile ground for growth. It forces us to ask questions and learn about ourselves and our circumstances, and that curiosity is a key that opens the door to possibilities we may otherwise never have seen.

This week, we talk about some ways to “clear the canvas” and listen to those parts of us that can help us arrive at the best decision.

This Week’s Listener Question:

Hey Christine & Laura, my husband just semi-retired and wants to move to Florida. This would change my job, my friends… everything. I’m so confused. On one hand, moving sounds like fun! On the other hand, moving sounds terrifying. How do I find clarity when I’m locked up in confusion?

Small Group Questions:

1. What’s one area of your life you are feeling confusion?

2. What strategies have you found helpful to find a path forward when you’re feeling confused?

3. How has confusion been a catalyst for growth in your life? How could it be right now?

4. In what ways can you lean into the anxiety of dating new friends?

5. How might staying curious unlock the door of confusion to go deeper in understanding your current options or opportunities?

Resources:

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

https://www.amazon.com/Atlas-Heart-Meaningful-Connection-Experience/dp/0399592555/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1686448883&sr=8-1

Christine Quoted:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

― Rainer Maria Rilke

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Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Have you ever watched kids on a playground? Complete strangers come together and start making mud pies within minutes. Why is that so hard for us to do as adults? Even when we’ve got reasons for connection, like kids, sports teams, jobs, and neighborhood activities, it’s still hard.

And that’s reflected in the latest statistics showing that loneliness is an epidemic.

So how do we fix that?

This Week’s Listener Question:

I just moved to Colorado because of my husband’s job. I’m feeling really lonely. How do adults make friends?

Small Group Questions:

1. Why do you think Americans are becoming more lonely and less connected to friends?

2. How easy or challenging has it been for you to make friends in adulthood?

3. What’s one way you could be intentional about creating space for friendships to flourish?

4. In what ways can you lean into the anxiety of dating new friends?

5. Why do you think it’s worth feeling uncomfortable for a short time in order to find new connections that might last a long time?

Resources:

Article – How to Make, and Keep, Friends in Adulthood

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/01/well/live/how-to-make-friends-adult.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Book – Refrigerator Rights

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1887043195?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_dp_273WH5X7PDHXZ73XGCFT_1

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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How do we find the “why” in our lives? It’s a tough question on our best days. But what about after major life changes, like a death, a divorce, a job loss, or in Laura’s case this week: a charging moose?

This Week’s Listener Question:

What’s my purpose now that my soul has been shattered? How do I go on after losing a child?

Small Group Questions:

1. What are your first reactions after hearing Christine spent a weekend with grieving mothers and Laura was charged by a moose?

2. Have you ever had a near death experience or a terrifying moment that helped clarify your purpose or clearly define the next step you needed to take?

3. When you think about your WHY beyond the roles you play such as mother, wife, caretaker, worker…, what comes to mind?

4. Why is finding meaning after a devastating event in life so important to our spiritual and mental well-being? Have you or someone you know found their life’s purpose after enduring a hardship?

Resources:

Finding Meaning by David Kessler

https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Meaning-Sixth-Stage-Grief/dp/1501192744/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1684950225&sr=8-1

The Ezra Klein Show – Podcast

The Teen Mental Health Crisis Part 1

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-teen-mental-health-crisis-part-1/id1548604447?i=1000613643441

“Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?”

—Mary Oliver from the poem The Summer Day

Links:

Christine’s Ireland Retreat – to learn more, please visit https://www.soulenchilada.com/events

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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It’s nice and cozy in our comfort zones. So comfy, in fact, that it’s easy to get stuck there without even realizing it. But it’s when we’re outside that we develop and grow. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a retreat, the first thing we’ve got to do to make a change is to GO!

This Week’s Question:

Christine, why are you so passionate about taking women to Northern Ireland on a retreat called God, Guinness, and Girlfriends?

Small Group Questions:

1. Think of a time when you went on a “pilgrimage” where you left your comfort zone and moved into the unknown? Share one thing you learned about yourself.

2. Why do you think it’s important to leave our comfort zones in order to experience new growth – spiritually, emotionally, mentally and/or physically?

3. When you think about waking up to the second part of life, or stepping into your next chapter, what excites and/or frightens you?

Links:

Christine’s Ireland Retreat – to learn more, please visit https://www.soulenchilada.com/events

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Happy Mother’s Day!!!… or was it? Research shows that up to 1/3 of women won’t be happy. Whether you’re going through a loss, or you’ve built up expectations for the day that are un-met and leave you disappointed. And that’s likely true for many holidays throughout the year.

This week, we talk strategies for how to let special days feed your soul rather than suck you dry.

This Week’s Listener Question:

Every year Mother’s Day leaves me with a grief hang-over. Why are so many holidays disappointing, frustrating, and sad? How can I set things up so Mother’s Day, birthdays, and holidays are feeding my soul not sucking me dry?

Small Group Questions:

1. What parts or emotions come up for you on special occasions or important events?

2. Which one of the strategies Christine and Laura shared could help you experience more soul satisfaction before or during an upcoming holiday or special event?

3. Share a time when you clearly communicated what you needed. What did you learn about yourself when you did?

4. If you could wave a magic wand over an upcoming holiday or special event, how would you set it up to feel more calmness, peace, &/or healing?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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This week, we piggyback off of last week's topic, pornography, to focus on how to best make intimate connections with the important people in your life

This Week’s Listener Question:

I just discovered my husband has a porn addiction. I feel like he’s cheating on me. It makes me feel really anxious all the time. How do I get him to stop?

Small Group Questions:

1.  What are your personal boundaries when it comes to pornography and cheating?

2.  Why do you think it’s important to communicate our “deepest desires” (wants and needs) with those closest to us instead of launching into arguments filled with criticism and contempt? What’s at stake if we don’t?

3.  Pick one person you’d like to develop a deeper connection with? Why did you choose this person?

Personal Reflection:

1.  Look within your soul, what are your deepest desires / greatest wants and needs when it comes to connection and intimate relationships?

2.  When do you feel most loved and respected in a relationship?

3.  In what ways can you invite your partner into deeper connection and intimacy?

4.  Steps of Courage – Create a plan to…

o  Reflection – Look within

o  Communication – Share your heart

o  Connection – Grow closer

o  Re-evaluation – Learn and plan next step

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Pornography. It’s everywhere. And it’s here to stay. The statistics on its usage are staggering. This week, we get into the weeds of pornography and its impact on the expectations and insecurities of our relationships.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I just discovered my husband has a porn addiction. I feel like he’s cheating on me. It’s making me feel really anxious all the time. How do I get him to stop?

Small Group Questions:

1. After hearing the pornography statistics Laura and Christine shared, how does this information impact you?

2. How has pornography affected your relationships with others or your view of yourself?

3. When you think of the four “horsemen” Christine listed that negatively impact our relationships – contempt, criticism, blame, and stonewalling – which ones have you personally struggles with?

4. Think of something or someone you’re quick to judge or criticize. How might you rephrase your requests or feedback and use statements that sound like…

o I feel…

o Would you please…

o I need to…

Bonus Resource:

If you’d like to learn more about pornography trends and influence, here’s a trusted resource.

Pornography Facts and Statistics | Effects of Porn Addiction on Relationships

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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This week, we pick up where we left off with some helpful tips, tricks, and hacks to manage our thoughts when they start to swirl out of control

This Week’s Listener Question:

I’ve been wrecked recently with anxiety and fear. I’m usually a calm, level-headed person but lately I’m feeling so out of control that I can’t sleep and I just had my first panic attack. What do you think I should do?

Small Group Questions:

1. Have you experienced an increase in anxiety since the beginning of the pandemic? Or do you know someone who has?

2. Christine and Laura discussed many techniques we can use to calm our nervous system when anxiety is trying to highjack us. They mentioned breathing, praying, grounding, exercise, yoga, meditation, and practicing gratitude. Which one of these resonates with you?

3. What calming practices have you tried and/or willing to begin to practice?

4. What scripture in the Bible or calming statement could you repeat (Contemplative Prayer) to capture your thoughts and increase your peace?

Small Group Challenge:

If you’re meeting with a small group, chose one or two practices to do together. One person can be the facilitator and ask the question, count out the breathing, or lead the group through

1. How do you feel in your body after this practice?

2. What new thoughts are running through your mind?

3. How could you carve out time to practice this more often?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Anxiety, fear, and panic attacks – Oh My!

They can cause us to do some crazy things - like Laura accosting the Amazon driver who she thought stole her dog. Fear is such a powerful emotion that we needed two episodes to talk about how to recognize and manage it…. Because without an Amazon driver, you’re all alone in this world.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I’ve been wrecked recently with anxiety and fear. I’m usually a calm, level-headed person but lately I’m feeling so out of control that I can’t sleep and I just had my first panic attack. What do you think I should do?

Small Group Questions:

1. As Christine explained, fear is a protective response to a present threat. Anxiety is fear or worry about something that might happen in the future. Which one do you experience more often?

2. Many adults are afraid of public speaking or being rejected. What fears top your list?

3. Where does fear usually show up in your body – your shoulders, chest, or belly, or somewhere else? How might you comfort or calm your body when fear arises? (rock back and forth, sway, sing, breathe into that part of you…)

4. In what situations or areas of your life have you befriended fear? What strategies have you learned that help you do this?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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This Week’s Listener Question:

My high school aged daughter is spiraling deeper and deeper into depression. It’s so painful to watch and I’m scared! What can I do to help?

Study after study is showing that mental health issues are becoming more and more prevalent, especially among young adults and teens.

How we react and help is so important, but it’s often really hard to figure out what to do. Do we try to fix them? Rescue them? Or do we detach and avoid so they can fix themselves?

This week we walk through some helpful strategies to come alongside those who are struggling in order to be the type of help they need.

Small Group Questions:

1. What parts (feelings/ emotions) come up for you when a loved one is in distress?

2. In what ways are you modeling a healthy relationship with your own depression?

3. What are your spiritual resources (helpful attitudes or practices) when you experience depression?

4. In your mind, what’s the difference between rescuing and empowering a loved one?

5. How can you “amplify” or empower someone you love to ground themselves and/or practice self-compassion and self-care?

This Week’s Listener Question:

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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This Week’s Listener Question:

There was just another school shooting in Nashville, TN. How do I deal with the helplessness and overwhelming sadness I keep feeling? How do we keep going and trust God when bad things keep happening all around us?

How do you deal with the overwhelming helplessness that comes when we’re hit with tragedy? Many of us employ the strategies of avoidance, denial, and control, which usually comes out sideways. (Like micromanaging the spatula drawer).

What if we were to embrace the sadness and anger and try to trust?

Small Group Questions:

1. What feelings are coming up for you when you hear the latest news?

2. What strategies have you found to be helpful when you’re connecting with your real parts of sadness or anger?

3. How do the themes of death leading to resurrection inspire or encourage you?

4. Be honest and ask yourself – What does my soul need right now?

5. What’s a small invitation of self-compassion you could take this week?

Invitations:

· Join our Good Friday Prayer Walk on April 7, at 3:00 PM in Lafayette, CO or wherever you live. To register and receive our 10 Step Faith Walk visit:

https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/good-friday-prayer-walk

· Pray for Nashville Tennessee. Here are specific prayer requests:

o Pray for grace, peace, and comfort for grieving families and faculty members.

o Pray for wisdom and discernment for parents who are having difficult conversations with their children.

o Pray for adults and children healing from the trauma they’ve experienced.

o Pray for grace and peace for law enforcement and first-responders.

Pray for the Nashville community that they might find HOPE in Jesus.

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Ah Spring…. time to get going after a winter’s slumber. It’s getting warmer and staying lighter longer, so open the doors, start cleaning, planning, and doing. Summer’s coming!

With all those added pressures, is it any wonder that mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and even suicides spike in the Spring?

This week, we talk about slowing down. Giving yourself permission to put your priorities in place and establish rhythms that restore sanity in your life. Just because you’ve already lost your basketball pool doesn’t mean you have to lose your mind.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I’m struggling with insomnia. I wake up every night between 2:00 – 3:00 a.m. and can’t get back to sleep. My anxiety is rising and I’m worried all the time. Spring is coming and I should be happy but I feel crazy. What’s wrong with me?

Small Group Questions:

1. Are you experiencing any of the challenges Christine and Laura discussed that are common at this time of year? Are you feeling “March Madness”?

2. List all the pressures that we face as we head into the Spring.

3. How can you gain clarity with your calendar during this time of year? What are your top three priorities in this season?

4. Describe your ideal way to launch and land your days. What’s the first step you can take to start implementing these ways?

5. What might it look like to “put yourself to bed” at night? What obstacles will you need to overcome to start these practices?

Bonus Activity:

· Read this article Christine brought to our attention about “March Madness” –

https://www.mghclaycenter.org/parenting-concerns/teenagers/spring-suicide-an-unlikely-combination/

· What are your questions after reading the article? Please submit them to us at – www.soulenchilada.com

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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This Week’s Listener Question:

My life is a massive mess (truly a "shitshow") right now. I'm dealing with intense family conflict which makes me feel like I have to pick sides. When I do, one family member will have to move out. At the same time, my work is also exhausting and thankless. I never have time for myself or anywhere I can go to "reboot.” I feel like I'm surrounded with overwhelming demands and drowning every day. Where would you start, if you were me?

What do you do when it seems like everything is going wrong all at once?

You’re twisting yourself into a pretzel to make everyone happy, but despite your best efforts, NOBODY is, especially you.

This week, we talk about how to approach choices when there are simply no good options. Spoiler alert: it starts by taking care of yourself.

Small Group Questions:

1. What strategies did you learn or develop as a child for winning love and approval? (People pleasing strategies? Rescuing strategies? Performance and perfectionism strategies?)

2. Do you struggle or feel guilty when you engage in self-care? Why or why not?

3. When it comes to self-care, what do you need these days?

4. Name a problem you’ve been struggling with? What can you control? What can’t you control? How might you hand some of the “work” back to others?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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This Week’s Listener Question:

I have listened to the Soul Enchilada episodes on forgiveness which

address forgiving an individual. But how do I forgive the church, not an

individual, but rather a very large group of people?

We hear you. We’ve each been kicked out of Bible Study before…

People have high expectations of “The Church” as an institution and of the people who inhabit it, whether they work there or just go there. Which makes it harder to handle and forgive when they fall short and we’ve been shamed and/or judged for simply being open and honest.

But churches are really just collections of messy broken people, most of whom are doing the best they can with what they know. Understanding that is the first step towards forgiving them.

But it’s more complicated than that, so listen in as we walk through some steps to take to mend broken relationships with the Church, and it’s people.

Small Group Questions:

1. When have you been wounded by a faith community or large group of

people?

1. Why do you think we hold faith communities to a higher standard than

other groups of people?

1. How is God vastly different from faith communities?

2. How have you been able to reconcile with your imperfect faith

community?

1. Have you ever been a part of a safe community? What words would

you use to describe it?

1. Where are you called to create “space spaces” in your community?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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A “mid-life crisis” isn’t just for balding men in speedos buying sports cars. It can happen to anyone, at any age. Because it’s not about age, it’s about STAGE.

We go through major life shifts every 7 years or so. But the transitions aren’t always smooth. It’s in those “spaces in between” stages where we face a choice: stay stuck out of fear, or embrace the ambiguity of change as an adventure.

It is possible to move forward, you just need to embrace your inner badass

And be sure to check out Christine’s God, Girlfriends and Guinness retreat: https://www.soulenchilada.com/irelandretreat or https://www.irelandretreats.com/

THIS WEEK’S LISTENER QUESTION

I’m a new empty nester. I’ve spent the last twenty plus years revolving around my kid’s schedules. Now they’ve launched but I’m depressed and stuck. How do I find myself again?

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS:

1. When have you found yourself in a transition of life? How do you normally feel during transitions?

2. Think of a transition in life. What were you saying good-bye to? What were you saying hello to?

3. What thoughts and emotions come up for you when you’re stuck in between two chapters in life?

4. What mental &/or spiritual practices help you get in touch with your true passions and purpose during this season of life?

5. How can you intentionally carve out more time in your schedule for these practices?

Activity:

1. Draw a long timeline.

2. Mark along the time key chapters of life’s important events.

3. Notice any patterns in between the chapters and record your findings.

4. Dream of what the next chapter of your life could look like.

5. Write your hopes, dreams, and/ or prayers for your next chapter on the timeline.

Be brave and share your timeline with someone you trust.

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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“Nice girls don’t talk about sex. Because if they do, it might happen…” Right???

Um… no.

Sexual desire, our “erotic part” is a significant, wonderful, and NORMAL part of us. Ignore it at your peril. Because when we keep it in the shadows, it will eventually jump out and hijack us.

This week, we talk about sex. And we give you questions to ask yourself and your partner to help you get what you need. Because when you get what you wish for… J

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS:

1. How was sex communicated to you when you were young?

2. How has shame played a role, or shaped, the way you view sex today?

3. Is it clear to you that there’s a difference between guilt and shame? Guilt says, “I did something bad and can learn from this.” Shame says, “I am bad and not worthy of love and connection.” Which one are you most familiar with?

If you want to take a DEEP DIVE with your partner, here are some more questions.

1. What holds you back from sharing your true sexual desires or longings with me?

2. When have you felt the deepest connection with me during sex?

3. What sexual experiences are you most curious about? Which ones would you like to imagine / experience with me?

RESOURCES:

Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality

by Rob Bell

https://www.amazon.com/Sex-God-Exploring-Connections-Spirituality/dp/0062197231/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1ZLM825YDHMID&keywords=SEX+God+rob+bell&qid=1677594832&sprefix=sex+god+rob+bell%2Caps%2C152&sr=8-1

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

By Emily Nagoski, ph.d

https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/B08CPVQT5M/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21BN40F26XZWH&keywords=come+as+you+are+by+emily+nagoski%2C+ph.d&qid=1677595017&sprefix=Come+a%2Caps%2C140&sr=8-1

Esther Perel – TED Talk­

The Secret to Desire in a Long Term Relationship

https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship

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When it comes to sex, do you ask “What’s the point?”

Well good! Because you should.

Sex is complicated. On one hand it’s a fantastic bonding agent, a chemical cocktail of pleasure. On the other hand, it can sometimes feel like an obligation weighed down by the baggage of body image and past experiences.

This week, let’s work on our erotic intelligence, and maybe even schedule a horizontal meeting with your partner…

BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT!

THIS WEEK’S LISTENER QUESTION:

My husband wants to have sex a lot more often than I do. I hate feeling pressured to have sex. Can you help me/us?

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS:

1. When you think of your body… what ingredients are in your “whole enchilada”?

2. What obstacles have you experienced that stand in your way from experiencing sex with your spouse? Body image? Parenting? Shame?...

3. Why do you think sex is an important part of marriage?

4. What has enabled you to make good connections with your partner… experiencing a wonderful “chemical cocktail”?

5. How do you best connect to your erotic-self?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Since opposites attract, it’s understandable that over time it’s possible, even easy, to drift apart to the point where you feel like you’re just roommates. Relationships can be a little like plants: you’ve got to water them a lot to keep them alive. And that takes work.

What do you do when it seems like your partner just isn’t willing to put in the effort?

This week we talk about three types of LOVE: Agape (unconditional), Phileos (friendship), and Eros (sex). Specifically, how to put them together as a “three legged stool” on which to balance a healthy relationship.

We’ve got tips, we’ve got tricks… so listen in, let us know what you think, and send us some of yours.

THIS WEEK’S LISTENER QUESTION:

Give me your thoughts on a bad marriage. I think my husband is a narcist. Basically, we’re just roommates – for the past 3 years we’ve slept in separate bedrooms and our marriage just feels dead. Help!

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS:

1. How has individualism, entitlement, &/or narcissism had an impact in your marriage / relationship?

2. Thinking about your marriage / relationship as a three-legged stool, commitment, friendship, and romance, which is the strongest? Which is the weakest?

3. On a scale from 1 – 10 (1 being almost non-existent, 10 been perfection) how would you rank your marriage / relationship in these three categories…

Agape = commitment, sacrificial, selfless love

Philia / friendship, affection, trusting love

Eros / romance, passionate, sexual love

1. How could you nurture your relationship in each of the three categories?

2. What’s your first step?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so let’s talk emotional intimacy. (We’ll get to THE SEX TALK next week. Think of it as foreplay).

How we relate to those we love dictates so much of our day to day happiness, and it changes over the years. We go through phases that can either draw us closer together or drive us apart.

Like everything worth having, it takes work. So listen in while we talk about daily practices to help us stay connected. Because we can’t get to the sex talk without the connection….

LISTENER QUESTION:

My husband is emotionally unavailable and shut down. He hardly ever remembers my birthday, Mother’s Day, and we never celebrate Valentine’s Day. I long to have emotional intimacy in our relationship. What should I do?

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS:

1. Do you remember when your relationship moved from the honeymoon phase to the disillusionment phase?

2. What courageous conversation do you need to have with your partner?

3. What rituals of connections do you currently have in your relationship?

4. What rituals of connections would you like to develop? What’s the first step you can take this week?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

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Still not sure what you want to be when you grow up? Well, welcome to the club of lost women!

Many of us have lived our lives according to a script written for us by society, our parents, or someone else who has no idea of who we really are. That script usually has us “being it all” as some combination of Martha Stuart, The Pioneer Woman, and (insert name of sex symbol here).

But what if that’s not what we want? Or even scarier, what if we don’t really even know what we want?

This week, we talk about how to answer those questions. If the average person changes their career path 6 times, you can certainly do some exploring yourself. So take the first step of your next journey and listen to this week’s episode.

THIS WEEK’S LISTENER QUESTION:

]I’m 37 years old and I have no idea what I want to become when I grow up. I feel like I should be happy just being a mother but I’m not fulfilled. How do I figure out my life’s purpose?

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS:

1. Do you know who / what you want to be when you grow up?

2. Have you ever felt pressured to be someone who you’re not?

3. Where are you feeling a disconnect between who you are and who you could become?

4. How could your deepest gladness meet the world’s deepest need?

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

— Frederick Buechner

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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We’ve got hopes. We’ve got dreams. But for many of us, the idea of putting ourselves out there to go after them is just too intimidating. It may be fear of failure, it may be Imposter Syndrome,” where we’re afraid that if people saw the “real” us, they’d know we were a fraud.

As women, we’ve been socialized to be humble, to not push for the promotion or ask for that raise. Because when we’re aggressive, we’re seen as bitchy.

But ladies, you are uniquely equipped to bring your gifts, your talents, and your light into YOUR world.

You ARE enough. So run your race. With confidence, and with purpose. For such a time as now.

As we mentioned in the episode, here’s a link to “The Confidence Gap” article: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-gap/359815/

The Marianne Williamson quote Christine recited is:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,” Williamson writes in A Return to Love. “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”

Small Group Questions’s

1. What dreams have you put on hold because of a lack of confidence?

2. When have you felt like an “imposter?” When you do, what negative thoughts run through your mind?

3. In what areas do you need to stop ruminating and start taking action to move towards your dreams??

4. Name 5 people in your “all of Faith.” Name 5 people you can surround yourself with who support you in living out your dreams?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Two classic songs for a classic problem: trouble at work. No job is perfect, but what do we do when the environment becomes toxic?

When it does, many of us are torn between the part that wants to stay and fix, and the part that wants to flee. A reality of life, though, is that we often have to settle for doing a little of both. Because “if we go there will be trouble, but if we stay there will be double.”

So this week, we’re talking about tips on how to view and manage our toxic environments. Primarily at work, but also with family and other relationships.

Good news!

Laura’s latest faith study, Called to Confidence, begins February 23rd for leadership training and March 2nd for the 5-week gathering in person or online. Learn more here: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/calledtoconfidencestudy

Yes, Kansas nurses working in a “toxic environment” you definitely should sign up!

Small Group Questions:

1. How would you define a toxic environment?

2. What types of environments do you tend to thrive in because they give you positive energy or fuel you with greater hope for growth?

3. When you find yourself in a toxic environment, how can you voice your needs and wants to advocate for yourself and create positive change?

4. What is one thing in this podcast that encourage you to say, “I should stay… or I should go!”

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Ready, set, go! We’ve started the new year. But what if you’re overstuffed and overwhelmed, juggling more balls than you can keep in the air?

This week you’ve got permission to join us in unbuttoning your pants to make a little more room, and going through an exercise Christine calls “Dumping the Bucket.”

While we can’t guarantee a better fit around the waist, we can tell you it’ll make your mind and soul a lot lighter.

This Week’s Listener Question:

I’m super overwhelmed all the time. I work full time, have three kids at home, and help take care of my aging mother-in-law. I want this next year to be calmer and make time for spiritual practices and friends, but I’m exhausted! Can you help me?

Small Group Questions:

1. What parts of your schedule are overwhelming you?

2. What brings you more life, energy, or vitality? What drains you?

3. Challenge: Follow Christine’s instructions and try the “Dumping the Basket” exercise to help you prioritize what you should be spending your time and energy on in the new year.

4. Where are you being called to invest your energies in 2023?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Sign up for Laura's latest faith study, live or livestream: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/calledtoconfidencestudy

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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They say it takes about 90 days to form a new habit, which is probably why 92% of us fail to keep our New Year’s resolutions.

So for the 8% of you who are successful, way to go! For the rest of us, it’s time to change the types of goals we set and how we view ourselves in the trying, failing, and succeeding.

So listen in as we talk strategies for starting the year off right.

Small Group Questions:

1. How have your New Year’s resolutions worked or failed in the past?

2. What would it look like to change your relationship with your

perfectionist or self-improvement parts?

1. What’s the difference between always striving / upward climbing vs.

giving yourself permission to sink into surrender and experience

grace?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Ah winter… the days are short, the weather’s cold and we’re stuck inside after having just survived the holidays.

Depression is an incredibly complicated condition, a blob of emotions unique to each of us. About the only constant is that we shouldn’t weather it alone.

But as our friend the lobster shows us, pain can have a purpose and be a catalyst for change, an invitation to growth. We just have to face it head on. So who do you trust, who can you reach out to for help breaking through?

Small Group Questions:

1. When have you faced a season of depression?

2. What “globs” or “blobs” or parts showed up for you?

3. What thoughts and/ or emotions tend to fuel your depression?

4. How can you view times of “stuck-ness” as invitations to change,

grow, or find traction in an area of your life?

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Forgiving someone can be so hard that we needed TWO episodes to cover it all.

Research shows that women’s brains are great at keeping a record of wrongs. So if you find yourself out of nowhere pacing back and forth, mumbling obscenities to a person who isn’t even there, it’s not your fault…..

But it isn’t good, either. So tune in to this week’s conversation where we go over 5 Steps to move you from lunatic to letting go.

Small Group Questions:

1. When have you had a hard time forgiving someone?

2. When you hold onto a grudge, what have you noticed happening in

your body, mind, or soul?

1. What would it look like to take Christine’s guidance and take the first

step to begin your path towards forgiveness?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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This week we take on conflict and forgiveness.

Are you a “get over it and move on” kind of gal who avoids confrontation at all costs, or do you keep score?

Join us this week, as we talk through the good, the bad, and the ugly of conflict resolution strategies.

Small Group Questions:

1. What conflict style was most used in your family of origin

– aggressive, avoidance, passive aggressive, or assertive?

1. What fears or concerns come up for you when you think about

asserting yourself with someone who’s hurt you?

1. When have you been able to assertively communicate during a

conflict? Did you experience resolution in your relationship? What did

you learn about yourself in this situation?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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This week we wrap up our Holiday deep-dive by talking about how to get through them when they’re full of holes.

Those holes can be in the form of an empty seat at the table from a new loss, an old loss that continues to blindside us this time every year, or even just our own unmet expectations for how things should turn out.

We never really “fill” those holes, but we can avoid getting trapped in them by giving ourselves permission to grieve… the way WE need to and on our OWN timeline .

Easier said than done, but nonetheless very do-able. So listen in and we’ll talk about how.

Real, Raw, and Relevant discussion questions:

1. Where do you notice grief or loss coming up during this season of your life?

2. When have you been "blindsided" by grief in a time when you thought you were supposed to be happy?

3. How can you give yourself permission to grieve the way you're wired, on your own timeline?

4. Mourning is the outward expression of grief. Christine and Laura gave us several tools for mourning (journaling, painting, exercising, cooking, singing, crying...) How can you schedule time to acknowledge, name your emotions, and use some of these tools to mourn in a safe space?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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You survived Thanksgiving! Nice job… but the holidays ain’t over yet. So this week we wanted to tackle this listener question:

“I don’t get along with my in-laws. How do I set boundaries with the most difficult people in my life?”

Setting boundaries before you get together may seem a little weird, like you’re being high-maintenance. But boundaries are beautiful. You can meet your needs, while at the same time honoring the needs of the people around you… even the difficult ones.

How do you do it? Well, we rely on a lot of C-words, so it’s worth a listen.

Real, Raw, and Relevant discussion questions:

1. Real – Who do you need to openly communicate your expectations

with during this season?

1. Raw – What holds you back from setting healthy boundaries with the

most difficult people in your life?

1. Relevant – How can you honor your own limits and practice self-

compassion during stressful times of the year? How can you do the

same for the difficult people in your life?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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Thanksgiving is a couple of days away, so this week we wanted to tackle this listener

question:

“My anxiety ramps up in social settings, so I tend dread the holidays. Any advice for preparing for, calming down, and enjoying the holidays this year?”

Most of us have at least some degree of anxiety around the holiday season. It may be trying to meet the expectations of others, or those we have of ourselves. It may be the dredging up of bad memories. It may be that there’s a new empty seat at the table. (Or a full seat, occupied by that one crazy relative who’s just waiting to blow things up).

This week we talk strategies for letting yourself off the hook and maybe even enjoying your holiday season, because Thanksgiving is not a competitive sport.

Real, Raw, and Relevant discussion questions:

1. How would you describe your level of anxiety during the holidays?

2. Christine opened a photo album in Laura’s mind to past holidays. What

positive and negative memories popped into your mind while they were

discussing holiday “trauma” due to expectations and family conflict?

1. How might you bust out of the traditional mold of the holidays this year to

grow gratitude or make beautiful connections with people you love?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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We know that we’re made up of lots of different parts. But what do we do when our “pissed off” part seems to rule the roost?

This week’s listener question is: “ I feel angry all the time. I’m angry at work, home, while driving, everywhere I go. How do I deal with my pissed off parts?”

Suppressing anger just makes us bitter, and eventually comes out sideways in the form of broken dishes, shattered relationships, and an occasional fractured toe.

This week we talk through strategy of befriending our anger. Give a little, take a little, and eventually learn to live together…the best of frienemies.

Real, Raw & Relevant Discussion Questions:

1. Where is anger showing up in your life these days?

2. How was anger expressed in your family of origin?

3. What strategies do you currently use to “manage” your anger? (Denying it, stuffing it, attempting to eat it away, etc.)

4. What might anger's invitation be for you, were you to greet and befriend it?

5. What might your angry part need? How might you take responsibility for meeting that need?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Share your hot mess with us, or just ask a question at: questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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We may look like we’re in one piece, but we’re really just a bunch of parts. Kind of like a junk drawer.

And each part has a voice that’s competing for our attention. Whether it’s Perfectionist Peggy, Pollyanna People-Pleaser, Bitchy Queen, or just some random Pissed-Off Parts, we are constantly being nagged.

This week’s question is: “What do I do when all my parts are screaming at the same time?”

Well, let’s figure that out together, and see which parts we can toss out of our junk drawer to better run our race of faith.

Enjoy the podcast. If you want to share it with friends or your small group, here are some questions you can talk over afterwards:

1. Acknowledgement – When you think about this past week, what are a few of your loudest "parts"?

2. Ask – Identify one of your parts. What does that part need? If you don't pay attention to it, what might it do? (Remember... the crying baby...)

3. An Invitation – Laura explained that her anxious part led her to look at her calendar. What might be an invitation one of your parts has for you?

4. Advocate – Who could you share this podcast with? Thanks!

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this.

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

Download the free 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call App: https://subsplash.com/the3oclockwakeupc/app

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We women are pretty good at getting help with the things we need. Car broken down? We call a mechanic… Gallbladder acting up? We call a doctor… Lost? We ask for directions…

But when it comes to our emotional health, many of us choose to hold it in and try to push through alone.

This week, we tackle the question: “Why are so many Christian women skeptical about therapy?”

Enjoy the podcast. If you want to share it with friends or your small group, here are some questions you can talk over afterwards:

1. When you were growing up, did your family keep secrets? If so, why do you think they did?
2. What attitudes about therapy did you grow up hearing &/or believing?
3. Do you have a "band of sisters" to be real, raw, and relevant with?
4. What makes a small group or friendship feel safe to you?
5. Who can you invite to join this podcast?

Thanks for listening! Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE the podcast.

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The Soul Enchilada podcast is about to launch. Here's our intro... a taste of what's to come.