You Love & You Learn Podcast: Recent Episodes
Sarah Yudkin
Welcome to the You Love and You Learn podcast, the place to learn about all things love, relationships, relationship anxiety, and deconstructing the one-size-fits-all narrative of what it means to be in a happy relationship.
Join Sarah Yudkin, trauma-informed Relationship Anxiety coach, as she shares the nuance and context that most modern relationship advice is missing. Whether it’s a solo episode or Sarah sitting down to interview guests with their own unique relationship wisdom, you’ll leave every episode with an expanded definition of love and relationships to reflect on.
Cheers to learning about love!
This week, I'm joined by Meghan Gifford - a private guide to founders, visionaries, and leaders who spent a decade in boardrooms working on billion-dollar deals before walking away at the peak of her career.
Meghan opens up about her "gold star girl" (the achievement-driven identity she built from childhood) and the moment she realized that all the striving, perfectionism, and control wasn't actually leading to the feeling she was chasing. We talk about what it looks like to loosen the grip without everything falling apart, how to tell whether your choices are coming from fear or from your wise inner self, and the tiny moments of trust that slowly build a different way of living.
This conversation is for anyone who's ever tied their worth to their achievements and is curious about what exists on the other side ❣️
Mentioned in This Episode:
- Meghan’s Instagram
- Meghan’s Website
Additional resources:
- FREE Resource: Breathwork Basics
- Sign Up for a Breathwork Package
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
This week, I'm joined by Taylor Welch: a yoga teacher, breathwork facilitator, and coach who blends sacred wisdom with modern science to guide women back to their wholeness.
Taylor opens up about the 30-day joy experiment she gave herself after realizing that joy felt genuinely unsafe in her body, and what happened when she decided to let joy lead her decisions instead. We talk about why so many of us are wired to orient toward pain, what gets in the way of actually receiving joy, and the small everyday practices that can start to bring it back💓
Mentioned in This Episode:
- Taylor's Instagram
- Taylor's website
Additional resources:
- FREE Resource: Breathwork Basics
- Sign Up for a Breathwork Package
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this week’s episode, I'm getting real about the emotional funk I've been in lately and the framework that helped me start to shift out of it.
I'm walking you through the Emotional Triad, a tool that looks at three things that impact our emotional state: our physiology, what we're focused on, and what we're making things mean. I share what this has looked like in my own life recently and the small shifts that have already started to make a difference.
This isn't about fixing your emotions, it's about learning to work with them❣️
Additional resources:
- FREE Resource: Breathwork Basics
- Sign Up for a Breathwork Package
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
This week, I'm joined by Kira Matthews - coach, speaker, and the creator of Pitch School. She helps people unlock their most confident selves so they can go after the dreams they once thought were impossible.
We dig into the inner critic and how it shows up to keep us small, why asking for what we want is so often harder than it should be, and how reframing rejection can completely shift the way we move through life.
This conversation is a reminder that audacity doesn't have to be loud or extreme, sometimes it can be found in doing the little things that we've been putting off❣️
Mentioned in the episode:
- Follow Kira on Instagram
- Kira’s website
Additional resources:
- FREE Resource: Breathwork Basics
- Sign up for Private Coaching & Breathwork Package
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
This week, I'm joined by Tori Lutz, a spinal energetics practitioner and a transformational mindset & somatic coach who spent two decades in talk therapy before discovering that healing her anxiety required getting out of her head and into her body.
We talk about why so many of us get stuck intellectualizing our experiences, what it actually means to "feel it to heal it," and the difference between identifying as an anxious person versus simply having moments of anxiety (a shift that has been completely transformative for both of us).
This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt like they **knowall the things but nothing is actually changing - and is ready to explore a different way in 🤍
Mentioned in the episode:
- Follow Tori on Instagram
- Tori’s Website
Additional resources:
- FREE Resource: Breathwork Basics
- Sign up for Private Coaching & Breathwork Package
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Welcome back!!! 💓 It feels really meaningful to be here again after taking some time away.
In this episode, I’m sharing a bit of a life and identity update: what’s been shifting for me over the past year, why I stepped away from the podcast for a period of time, and the honest answer to a question I’ve been getting a lot lately:
Do I still experience relationship anxiety?
The answer surprised me… and it might surprise you too.
In this conversation, I open up about what it actually looks like for me to still have moments of anxiety, while no longer identifying as someone who has relationship anxiety. I talk about the difference between experiencing anxious thoughts and being defined by them, and how my relationship to those moments has completely changed over time.
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here
- Sign up for private coaching
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
This week, I’m joined by New York Times bestselling author, entrepreneur, and investor, Sahil Bloom, as he shares the life-changing insights behind his book Five Types of Wealth.
We talk about what it really means to design a life that feels rich (far beyond money). Sahil opens up about the wake-up call that shifted his own priorities and the simple daily practices that helped him rebuild around what truly matters.
This conversation is a reminder that you don’t have to live by someone else’s definition of success. Small, intentional actions can create profound change.
Mentioned in the episode:
- Five Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom
- Sahil’s Instagram
- Sahil’s Website
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this video, I share the 3 patterns I realized were holding me back, and how I’ve been working to reset them during Week 4 of The Artist’s Way (which, let’s be honest, took me way more than a week to get through… 😅).If you’ve been feeling stuck, disconnected from yourself, or just in need of a reset, I hope these reflections give you ideas for ways to reconnect and move forward (even when you don’t have it all figured out).
Mentioned in the episode:
- Is it Anxiety or Is It Intuition Webinar
Additional Resources:
- Connect with me on IG
- Get The Relationship Anxiety Toolkit
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
I’m back for a (slightly delayed) recap of the Artist’s Way Chapter 3 - Recovering a Sense of Power. And to get your power back, Julia Cameron talks about bouncing back from feeling shame (unworthy, I am doing something bad or wrong, I am embarrassed of myself) and bouncing back from criticism (especially when the criticism is not helpful and leads to feeling more shame or ickiness!)—both topics I found SO helpful, especially this week.Later in the video, I get honest about my own feelings of shame this week, my aha moment about some criticism I received this week, and share how daily morning pages + my artist date went this week!Things mentioned in this video:
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon
- The Artist’s Way book
- Owaken Breathwork 7-Day trial (video I mentioned is Meeting Uncomfortable Emotions)
Additional Resources:
- Connect with me on IG
- Get The Relationship Anxiety Toolkit
- Visit my website
Week two explores self-doubt and skepticism as big blocks to living a more creative + fulfilling life, the dangers of surrounding ourselves with people who don’t support our vision, the importance of paying attention to your life to make space for more delight, and gives advice for how to feel proud of ourselves as artists (or people who are healing + growing).I also share my serendipitous story from my Artist Date this week!Thank you for being here!Things mentioned in this video:
The Artist’s Way book
Additional Resources:
- Connect with me on IG
- Get The Relationship Anxiety Toolkit
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
I’m back with a recap of Week 1 of The Artist’s Way sharing my key takeaways that go far beyond creativity. This isn’t a book summary, it’s sharing what was most helpful for me because I imagine it will also be helpful for you, too!Week one dips into creating a sense of inner safety (for our inner artists, but also for general life), why we stay blocked even when we say we want to change), the importance of letting ourselves be a beginner (and suck at things), and how to be on our own team instead of self-sabotaging.Stick around to the end where I share my honest review of doing daily morning pages, and what I did for my first ‘Artist Date’ this week!I hope this video encourages you wherever you are in your own creative or personal growth journey + I am rooting for youuuu.Things mentioned in the episode:
- Instagram post I mentioned taking quick action on
- The Artist’s Way book
- Get The Relationship Anxiety Toolkit
Additional Resources:
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Connect with me on Instagram
- Visit my website
After 5 years of building You Love and You Learn and focusing primarily on relationship anxiety... I’m feeling a pull I can’t ignore any longer! A pull to expand and share other parts of my life outside of feeling anxious in my relationship. More about joy, creativity, self-trust, and how to live a full life.This is the start of a new series where I'll take you behind the scenes as I explore what it means to evolve in my business and on social media (without burning everything to the ground!!)I'm starting The Artist’s Way in the hopes it will help me get out of the creative block I've been feeling (aka - resistance to try something new!). Excited to take you along with me for the journey!Things mentioned in this video:
- the DIY matcha video I mentioned
- The Artist’s Way book
- doing the bare minimum Artist’s Way, thanks to MJ and Anna of @weare_internetpeople
Additional Resources:
- connect with me on IG
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
This episode is an honest look at what it means to find your voice and show up authentically in life, relationships, and even on national television. Shauhin Davari, public speaking coach and cast member of Survivor Season 48, joins me to talk about how journaling, breathwork, and mindset shifts can help you stop performing and start being the fullest version of yourself.
Use code: “YLYL” for 20% off Shauhin’s offerings
Shauhin’s Website
Connect with Shauhin on Instagram
Additional Resources:
Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
Visit my website
Connect with me on Instagram
This episode is an open-hearted reflection on what the quote “The love I give becomes the love I get” brought up for me, and how it inspired the creation of a new July 7-Day Challenge inside the You Love and You Learn Patreon community. It’s a gentle reminder that even in overwhelming times, connection can be built through small acts of kindness and intention.
Whether you join the challenge or not, I hope this conversation helps you feel more connected to yourself, to those around you, and to the version of you that wants to show up with more love.
JOIN THE 7 DAY CHALLENGE HERE
Mentioned in the episode:
Curry and Rowland, 2018
Post, 2005
Additional Resources:
Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
Visit my website
Connect with me on Instagram
In this episode, I’m joined by Clinical Life Coach & Consultant and former therapist Mollie Birney to discuss the role identity plays in all aspects of our lives. We talk about why letting go of the labels we put on ourselves is often the scariest (and most freeing) thing we can do. Molly shares her personal journey from licensed therapist to coach, the concept of “freedom work,” and how we can stop trying to fix ourselves and instead be in relationship with the parts of us we’ve tried to avoid.
Mentioned in the episode:
Mollie’s Website
Get The Freedom Coursebook
Connect with Mollie on Instagram
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with returning guest Kiyomi, with Awaken Into Love, to talk about her journey into motherhood and the powerful inner transformations it brought with it. She opens up about the spiritual and emotional journey of becoming a mom, and how she navigated postpartum challenges while maintaining a sense of self. We explore the parallels between motherhood and relationship anxiety, and how both call us into deeper compassion and trust. Whether you're a parent, on the path to becoming one, or simply going through a big life transition, this conversation is for you.
Mentioned in the episode:
- Episode #15: Is Resistance Blocking Your From Healing Relationship Anxiety/ROCD? With Kiyomi LaFleur of Awaken Into Love
- Connect with Kiyomi on Instagram
- Kiyomi’s Website
- Awaken into Love Youtube Channel
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Bringing back an oldie but goodie episode this week! Whether you’re hearing it for the first time, or if you heard it when it first aired back in May 2023, I hope you will find some nuggets of wisdom to take away.
In this episode, I address questions like:
“Did I fall out love with my partner?”
“What if I feel love toward my partner, but don’t feel IN LOVE with my partner?”
“What if we fall out of love in the future…then what?”
“If you fall out of love…can you fall back “in love”?
I explore what the differences are between being “in love” and “love” and give you new ways of thinking about love that can expand your perspective.
Excited to hear what you think of this one! DM me @youloveandyoulearn on Instagram with your thoughts :)
And if you are enjoying the podcast, it would mean the world to me if you can leave a review + rate the podcast. I appreciate you!
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Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
It's officially wedding week! 🎉💍
In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of my wedding season — from setting intentions before my bridal shower and bachelorette, to navigating unexpected bumps, practicing presence, and learning how to receive love and support from those closest to me.
I also share some honest reflections about the final month of wedding planning — the pressure that builds, how I’m handling human moments (yes, even with years of personal growth work!), and why setting boundaries has been a key theme during this busy, exciting season.
Whether you’re planning your own big event, navigating milestones, or just curious about the real emotional side of wedding prep, I hope this episode feels like a warm, honest conversation with a friend.
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Bringing back an oldie but goodie episode this week! Whether you’re hearing it for the first time, or if you heard it when it first aired back in February 2023, I hope you will find some nuggets of wisdom to take away.
When you’re in a relationship, life’s big questions present themself: Who I am I? What do I believe? What do I value? How do I want life to look? What is normal?
In this episode, I walk through these big life questions and help normalize asking them within the context of a relationship.
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this solo episode, I’m sharing what it’s looked like to reduce the pressure and urgency I used to bring into two major areas of my life: my relationship and my work. From letting go of perfectionism in partnership, to allowing myself to embrace a season of maintenance in business, this episode is a reflection on how releasing intensity can actually create more ease, connection, and clarity.
Whether you’re navigating a big life change (like a wedding!) or simply noticing that things feel a little too much lately, this is your invitation to pause and reflect on where you can invite in some compassion and be more gentle with yourself.
Additional resources:
- Apply for private coaching
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
This week on the podcast I have on Anna Seirian, a writer and coach for ADHD women who want to trade exhaustion and survival for ease and pleasure. She’s the writer of the best-selling Substack Ambitious Softie and the cofounder of Internet People, a digital media company and community for creatives, artists, and entrepreneurs.
In this episode we dive into the heart of Anna’s Brilliance Experiment and how small, intentional actions can reclaim our joy, vitality, and sense of connection to ourselves, which in turn can help us connect to other relationships in our life more intentionally. Anna opens up about how she’s been cultivating joy in her life through these simple experiments each week that encourage mindfulness, self-care, and personal growth.
Mentioned in the episode:
Join the Brilliance Experience on Anna’s Substack
Anna’s Podcast: Internet People Podcast
Connect with Anna on Instagram
Anna’s Audio Course - 17 Principles of Soft Ambition
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
I am so grateful to bring on another former client of mine to discuss her transformative journey with relationship anxiety. In this episode we explore:
- How the need for certainty in her decisions fueled her relationship anxiety
- The struggle of knowing if it is anxiety or intuition and how to navigate
- Moving from black and white thinking to accepting things can be “both, and”
- Ways she works with her anxiety (not against it) as it shows up
If you've ever felt stuck in patterns of doubt, fear, or overthinking in your relationship, this conversation will remind you that you're not alone—and that growth is possible.
Mentioned in the episode:
The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul
“Is it Anxiety or Intuition?” Webinar
Additional resources:
- If this conversation resonates, apply for private coaching
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Have you ever felt stuck in the same relationship patterns, no matter how hard you try to change? This week, I sat down with trauma-informed marriage coach, Becky Aste, to explore how healing yourself can transform your relationship. Becky shares the patterns that nearly led to divorce and how discovering somatic work (aka, soothing your body) changed everything. We discuss how regulating your nervous system, breaking toxic cycles, and shifting from control to connection can create a healthier, more fulfilling partnership
Connect with Becky:
Becky’s Instagram
Free Training: “4 Somatic Secrets to Secure Love”
Podcast: Your Breakthrough Blueprint
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this episode, I’m exploring a topic that can sometimes feel a little uncomfy—but is super important to talk about: the role alcohol plays in romantic relationships. This discussion was inspired by a question from a Patreon member, but I know many other people navigate similar dynamics in their relationships.
I share my personal experiences with this topic, including how alcohol has impacted my relationship with Nate, my past anxieties around it, the boundaries we’ve set, and open conversations we’ve had in order to create a mutual understanding around our alcohol consumption.
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
The Messy Middle — a space we all find ourselves in at some point. It’s that uncomfortable, uncertain period where things feel unclear, and we’re searching for answers that don’t seem to come. In this solo episode, I open up about my own experience with navigating uncertainty, feeling stuck, and provide practical ways to support yourself when you don’t have a clear path forward.
Mentioned in the episode:
Anxiety Rx by Dr. Russell Kennedy, M.D.
The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this episode, I sit down with life and manifestation coach, Samantha Chung, to explore how to overcome anxiety, relinquish control, and create inner peace. Sam shares her personal story—from her early struggles with perfectionism and control as a professional ballerina to discovering the power of mindfulness, self-acceptance, and manifestation.
This episode is for anyone who struggles with overthinking, self-doubt, or the need to control every aspect of life. Join us as we dive into how to embrace all emotions and learn to live in the present moment (instead of an unknown future).
Mentioned in the episode:
Listen to Samantha’s Podcast, Spiraling Higher
Connect with Samantha on Instagram and TikTok
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Ready for a real conversation about sex? This week, I'm joined by sex expert Susan Bratton to explore the path to a more fulfilling sex life. We unpack the importance of open communication and how to overcome the misconceptions that are holding you back from passionate and connected sex. Discover how to take ownership of your own pleasure and build a stronger bond with your partner to unlock the best sex of your life (even if that’s something that currently feels intimidating).
Mentioned in the episode:
Susan's Website
Connect with Susan on Instagram
Susan’s Youtube Channel
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
I know many listeners have felt the urge to escape a perfectly good relationship. This can show up as questioning if you're making a mistake, if you're truly in love, or if you're missing out on something better. I went through it too, so just know you are not alone. I am bringing back OCD and Anxiety coach Robert James to share his journey with Relationship OCD and to unpack why our brains can send us into panic mode in relationships.
We discuss:
- How rumination and overthinking can keep you stuck
- The role of self-compassion in overcoming relationship anxiety
- Why vulnerability and presence are key to healthy love
- Practical steps to break free from the cycle of doubt
Here is the first episode I did with Robert (#52) if you missed that one (it’s a goodie!):
Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3pbH7OXf0MFcV4pqoXfbUM?si=0b9fd7ef499c4ed8
Apple link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/52-leaning-into-discomfort-in-your-relationship-w-robert/id1654761308?i=1000640294215
Additional resources:
- Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
- Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Bringing back an oldie but goodie episode this week! Whether you’re hearing it for the first time, or if you heard it when it first aired back in February 2023, I hope you will find some nuggets of wisdom to take away.
When anxiety shows up, it can feel tempting to want to make it go away as fast as possible. I’ve found this can actually make the anxiety stronger, and offer up 5 alternate ways to respond next time anxiety shows up.
“Is it anxiety or incompatibility? webinar mentioned in the episode: https://youloveandyoulearn.com/ra-or-incompatibility-webinar
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Strengthening communication, navigating conflict, and deepening connection are 3 important pillars of a healthy relationship. I got the chance to chat with Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman of @meetthefreemans to explore these 3 pillars.
In this episode we cover:
- how Jocelyn and Arron’s different upbringings, communication styles, and ways they responded to emotion affected their relationship
- how to strengthen communication in your relationship
- how often you should have relationship ‘check-ins’
- how to “fight better” and repair disagreements
- how couples can strengthen their connection
…and more.
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Check out more of the Freeman’s work here:
Website: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/
Book: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/argument-hangover
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meet_thefreemans/?hl=en
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
With all the buzz of attachment theory, it’s easy to think being securely attached is “better” and being insecurely attached is “worse.” But what if we were able to shift this perspective and bring a kinder, gentler approach to attachment theory?
In this episode, I sat down with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW, who an attachment specialist that supports her clients in developing secure ways of relating and improving their relationships.
We cover:
- where our attachment styles originate
- how to interrupt the guilt + shame that comes up during an insecure moment
- “the work” needed to become a secure, loving partner
- how to show up with more authenticity and integrity
…and more!
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Stay connected with Elizabeth here:
- Therapy website + course offerings: https://www.heirloomcounseling.com/
- Coaching services: https://www.elizabethgillette.com/
- Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1638781087?utm_source=Website/Blog
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elizabeth.gillette/
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Transitions and change can bring up a lot of emotion. Whether it’s moving in together, getting engaged, moving to a new city (or country), or changing jobs…there are stages we go through in times of transition.
In this episode, I sat down with Ela Topcuoglu, a transformational Life Coach who works with people to make the most of life transitions by helping them become more aware of the psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of those changes.
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Check out more of Ela’s work here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elavatecoaching/
Life Transition Quiz: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/6426bf1ef9c520001499a365
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
“Is it relationship anxiety…or are we incompatible?” is the #1 question I am asked as a relationship anxiety coach.
In this episode, I share 2 frameworks to consider when answering this question, why answering this question can be so challenging, and important reminders to keep in mind if this question brings up a lot of fear for you.
To explore this topic further:
Check out the “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” webinar + Q&A replay. Get it here for $27.
Or, apply for private coaching here.
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Relationship anxiety has so many parallels with what it means to be human.
It’s an invitation to lean into uncertainty, discomfort, and change.
It’s an invitation to build more self-trust, acceptance, and contentment (peaceful happiness).
It’s an invitation to practice releasing expectations, taking responsibility, and explore our values.
All of these are not only part of relationship, but part of LIFE, and that’s what I explore in this week’s episode.
I have a few private coaching spots open to begin in August + September:
Apply for private coaching here.
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Have you ever judged your partner for making small mistakes like leaving their towel on the floor, or not doing something the way you asked? It doesn’t feel great (I’ve been there, too). In today’s episode, I sat down with Ivy Miller, a certified Mindset & Relationship Coach, to discuss:
- why we don’t tolerate mistakes in others
- how nitpicking small mistakes can affect our relationships
- the antidote to criticism and nitpicking
- how to build a more loving relationship with ourselves
- how to feel our feelings
…and more.
Check out more of Ivy’s work here:
Website: https://www.ivymiller.coach/
Group Coaching Waitlist: https://ivyannemiller.mykajabi.com/loving-leaders-waitlist
Instagram and TikTok Accounts: @ivyannemiller
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Is it wrong to find someone else besides your partner attractive? In today’s episode, I explore:
- the impacts of religion and romanticism on the message of “only having eyes for our partner”
- the shame and guilt that can come up from finding someone else attractive
- my new beliefs on attraction that feel helpful, not anxiety inducing
- an exercise you can do after the episode to help you determine if your beliefs on attraction are helpful…or not
I have 2 private coaching spots opening up to begin in August or September…here is the link for more information and to apply.
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Have you ever nitpicked your partner’s physical appearance and felt so guilty for it? You are NOT ALONE! In this episode I address a community-submitted topic: hyper-fixation on “small, superficial, or physical traits about my partner, like teeth, hair, posture, or mannerisms.”
Hyper-focus on our partner’s physical appearance can cause us to feel shame, so I discuss how to shift out of the shame and into more self-compassion.
I also address the question of “if they were exactly the person they are right now, but looked different or to my ideal standard, then would all the questions around it go away?”
DM me @youloveandyoulearn on Instagram with your takeaways!
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this episode, I sat down with Dr. Russell Kennedy, author of award-winning book Anxiety Rx. We talk about how our emotional wounding (which he calls alarm) affects anxiety and what to do about it. We cover:
- the difference between anxiety of the mind and alarm of the body
- where our anxiety and alarm stems from
- if you need to know what’s happened in your past in order to manage anxiety and alarm
- what anxiety is distracting us from doing and how to change this pattern
- how to show up for yourself before, during, and after triggering moments
Check out more of Dr. Kennedy’s work here:
Website + Instagram
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In Part 2 I’m sharing the behind the scenes of getting engaged and how I felt during and after. I answer community questions like “did you expect it?” “were you anxious during or after?” and “did you feel disappointed during the proposal?”
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
ICYMI — I’m engaged! In this episode, I’m answering community questions like “how do you know you’re ready to get engaged?” + “what did your pre-engagement discussions look like?”
I also share more about my own transformation from being scared of marriage to feeling ready to move forward.
Be sure to tune in next week to hear the proposal story, how I felt during and after the proposal, and my post-engagement reflections.
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
This week I share 5 books that have changed my life and the way I view love and relationships. Each book has meant so much to me and I dive into some of my favorite concepts + quotes from each book. I cover:
Mating in Captivity Esther Perel → this changed the way I view passion in relationships and transitioning out of the honeymoon phase
The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul → validated my experience of relationship anxiety and brought forward a compassionate interpretation of it
Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman → helped me understand important relationship dynamics and open doors of discussion with Nate on our shared values and life visions
The Relationship Handbook by George Pransky → recent book that changed the way I perceive moments of relational challenge and why they happen
All About Love Bell Hooks → opened up my perspective on love and what love means
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
In this episode, I got a chance to speak with Emma Wilson, the Turning 30 Coach about how relationship anxiety can be impacted as we near/are in our 30’s.
We cover:
- the instruction manuals we each create that dictate our lives and how we think life “should” look in our 30’s
- how to parse out what it is that you want vs. what is a societal expectation
- Emma’s story about identifying incompatibilities her past relationship
- slowing down and letting things happen in the time they will take
- the doomsday perceptions we have about breakups and divorce
- specifically for women: the pressure of wanting to have kids by a certain age
Learn more about Emma’s work here:
Instagram: @turning30coach
Website: www.turning30coach.com
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/il/podcast/turning-30-podcast/id1526149550
In the episode, I mentioned the “would I be happier single?” blog post, which you can read here: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/blog/would-i-be-happier-single
In the episode, I mentioned the “is it anxiety, or am I settling?” webinar, which you can purchase here for $27: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/is-it-anxiety-or-settling
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Additional resources:
- Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
- Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
- Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
- Visit my website
- Connect with me on Instagram
Is there such thing as the “right relationship?”
Why is this such a common question we ask ourselves?
How do we expand into a new way of thinking?
I dive into my thoughts on this subject and how to think about our relationship in a way that is less anxiety-inducing.
In the podcast, I mention relationship incompatibilities, and if you’re looking to answer the question “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” in your healthy relationship with more confidence, check out my 2-hour webinar on this for $27. CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT
In this week’s episode I get much more detailed with my relationship anxiety journey:
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the beliefs and experiences that led me to where I am today
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leaving my ex and how I made that decision
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my story with Nate
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from “he’s amazing!” to “do I love him enough?” to “he’s my person”
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the challenges we’ve faced along the way
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the moment I realized this anxiety was my own and that I wanted to be with Nate
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what I’ve learned along the way I hope my story reminds you that you’re not alone.
If you’d like to stay connected, you can find me over on Instagram + TikTok @youloveandyoulearn and on my website, youloveandyoulearn.com
Thank you for listening!
*note: my podcast does not apply to abusive relationships
Welcome to the You Love and You Learn podcast! I am beyond excited to release this into the world, and can’t wait to dive deeper into the world of love and relationships.
Today’s episode introduces my mission behind this podcast and shares a handful of reasons why relationship anxiety (which is a big part of my story) tends to show up in healthy relationships.
If you’d like to stay connected, you can find me over on Instagram + TikTok @youloveandyoulearn and on my website, youloveandyoulearn.com