Unwritten You: Rediscovering Our Unstoried Selves: Recent Episodes

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Unwritten Podcast - Episode 11: Racing, Leadership, Equity & Inclusion

Hosts: Deli Moussavi and Deneen Bowen

Special Guests: Christina Nielsen, Two-Time IMSA Race Car Champion, and Pete Zaballos, Fractional CMO

Episode Summary:
In this riveting second part of our two-episode segment, we delve deeper into the themes of equity and inclusion within the high-stakes world of car racing. Christina Nielsen, a champion in resilience and persistence, and Pete Zaballos, a fractional CMO, provide their unique insights on leadership, overcoming adversity, and the importance of team dynamics.

Key Highlights:
•Equity and Diversity in Racing: Christina and our guests discuss the importance of expanding opportunities for diversity in racing, emphasizing the need to encourage more inclusive environments.
•Resilience in the Face of Challenges: Christina’s journey exemplifies the essence of resilience. Despite facing numerous setbacks, her determination and ability to rise again set a benchmark for aspiring racers.
•The Power of Teamwork: A recurring theme in this episode is the significance of a strong, empathetic, and communicative team. Christina’s quote, “You can’t win with a slow car, but you definitely can’t win with a bad team,” encapsulates this idea.
•Leadership Lessons from Racing: The episode sheds light on lessons from the racetrack that apply to leadership, including knowing your audience, managing external factors, and maintaining team cohesion under pressure.
•Gender Equity in Racing: Addressing gender disparities in racing, the conversation pivots to systematic issues and the need for more equitable treatment and opportunities for women in the sport.
•Embodying Leadership and Power: The episode explores how individuals, especially women, can own their power and stay grounded in their convictions, reshaping dialogues and challenging the status quo.
•Creating Safe and Inclusive Environments: Pete Zaballos shares insights on cultivating environments that foster personal growth, equality, and higher performance.

Memorable Quotes:
1.Christina Nielsen: “It’s not a matter of if we run into issues and problems; it’s when we do and HOW we handle them. That’s the differentiator.”
2.Pete Zaballos: “The world is more or less defined by male behaviors. The world is set up where men are 2-3 steps ahead of women.”
3.Christina Nielsen: “When someone says something to you, imagine them throwing a ball at you and remember that you DON’T have to catch the ball. You don’t have to absorb what they say.”
4.Deli Moussavi: “It’s not about men are bad or women; it’s about a system that has done tremendous harm to both our men and women. We all need collective help to come out of this system into a new era.”

Closing Thoughts:
This episode offers a profound look at how principles from the racetrack can inform and inspire leadership, equity, and inclusion in all areas of life. Our guests, through their experiences and insights, have demonstrated the power of resilience, teamwork, and creating a culture of empowerment and safety.

References:
Esmee Hawkey
IG: @esmee_hawkey
https://www.esmeehawkey.com/

Drive to Survive - Netflix Docuseries
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_1:_Drive_to_Survive

Dr. Kelly Moore, Parent CARE
https://liveparentcare.com

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Christina Nielsen, Pete Zaballos and Deli Moussavi collaborate around their deep passion for women's equality. With Christina breaking barriers within her industry, Deli's two decades of leadership and DEI work and Pete's intense allyship throughout his career, it was inevitable. We discuss the connection between inclusion, team trust, advocacy, honest, meaningful relationships, healthy communication and high performance in ANY industry.

Christina Nielsen isa two-time national champion of IMSA, the first woman to to do so. She is a force in breaking down barriers for women in the automotive industry and beyond. She co-founded Accerating Change to help women achieve parity in their industries. A trailblazer, Christina joined us from Denmark.

Pete Zaballos, Deli's former boss,is a long-time tech Chief Marketing Officer, founder of Diamante Scholars and extraordinary advocate for women and minorities. Pete realized early in his career that women are being held back in compensation and other areas at work. He feels an obligation to help women achieve equality. He's a passionate race car drive and met Christina through the amazing Lauren Elkins.

The equality, leadership and teamwork lessons in race car driving apply to all workplace teams. Organization dynamics of performance on a team and the role trust has starts at the top with management. Pete realized many of the issues he had running departments are similar to what Christina deals with on a racing team. Car-racing is a team sport. The car doesn't now the difference. Male or female.

Christina: “Shitting your pants” is a real term when it comes to driving race cars. **Women start from -1. Men start from 0.

Allyship and networks are critical to navigating the day-to-day.** Men and women are treated differently. And, male allies made a big difference for Christina's career. Women already have a voice, it’s a matter of being heard.

Getting women IN. In the automotive industry as well as others, the odds aren't with women. We need more women at the TOP of the funnel when it comes to recruiting. Until you solve for diversity at the top of the funnel, it's not going to change. Check out Lewis Hamilton's work on why the lack of diversity in Formula One. The learnings apply to ALL industries.

Deli points out how Diversity AND inclusion aren’t the same thing and HOW. As an Iranian-American, she talks about the Woman, Life, Freedom movement in Iran, women and men together fighting for equality and basic human rights. She quotes Terence Real on how our narcissistic, patriarchal culture harms both men and women. In that kind of culture, you're force to choose between power and connection. In reality, we don't have to make that choice. Authentic power isn't power over.

Failing toward success. Pete's background being told academically he would never succeed. And yet failing forward is HOW you succeed and the merits of stepping into and through your fear.

Women are automatically questioned. Men's competence is automatically assumed.

Christina's latest racing team exemplified an inclusive culture of trust, communication, honesty and understanding. They won. Christina talks about how as a race car driver, the fear isn't am I going to die, it's am I going to lose my job. Being on a race team is living on the razor's edge. And in an environment of trust, you achieve SO much more.

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Part 2: Reclaiming Our Creative Process, Vulnerability,
We continue our conversation with award-winning Hollywood acting coach, actor, director and producer and creator of Intentional Acting, Loren E. Chadima. What a gold-mine of a conversation with Loren. Make sure that you catch Part 1!

Healing as Part of the the Creative Process
We left off last time on the 9th step of Loren's 9 questions: How can we use a scene -- and by extension our creative process -- to heal ourselves? Knowing how we can do this keeps us from losing ourselves completely in a character -- meaning, when it's difficult to step out of the character once it's done and over. Deneen and I talk about how our podcast has healed us and opened our hearts more and more. Deneen, "this podcast has helped save my life." We talk about healing our creative wounds by continuing to create.

Safety as a Primary Concern in the Face of Emotional Vulnerability
It's going to where we're most afraid, but in a safe way, knowing we can come back. Deneen professes her love of acting, and Deli her love of improv. Emotional vulnerability and emotional honesty are our superpowers in the creative arts -- and we'd argue in life, leading, raising kids. As an acting coach, Loren's primary concern safety. Who you choose to be vulnerable with matters. Loren is breaking the mold of old school acting teachers as well as directors who would terrify and tear down students and actors. Loren says, no, she's breaking the bold. You don't have to be traumatized and re-traumatized to create art. There's a better way. And Loren's Intentional Acting is all about asking yourself, how can I use this to heal myself. A powerful question.

Women Telling Their Stories
Loren tells us a powerful story about Gloria Steinem, her mother, and voice. Finding her own voice saved Loren's life. Now she gets to be a safe place for others to be an artist and heal by doing so, and the act of witnessing this further heals Loren. We have to tell our stories and inspire others to do the same.

Voice & Intuition & Young Women
Our voice connects us with our intuition. Telling our stories out loud deepens our intuitive powers. It's a gift to tell our stories and reach out to young women and encourage them to follow their intuition. We talk about Jody Comer's The Last Dual and how 700 years later, we're fighting the same story.

Joygasm:
Deli is blown away by this conversation and, significantly, is writing again, writing essays and a book; Loren's sunrise hike made her realize the value of silent absorption time in the midst of writing her own book and the many creative projects she has; for Deneen revisiting her acting portfolio and photos of herself on stage, 'where her soul breathes the deepest', helped her daughter see her in a new light and reconnects Deneen with her deepest passion, action.

We look for many more conversations with Loren! Please check out Intentional Acting at the links below for info on Loren's upcoming classes.

Please subscribe to Unwritten Your Podcast and leave us a review! We love to hear from you. Please share your comments. Follow us on IG @unwrittenyoupodcast

Loren E Chadima
Intentional Acting: https://intentionalacting.com/
Instagram: @intentionalacting

Kristin Linklater
The Kristin Linklater Voice Center
Freeing the Natural Voice (book)

Tina Packar
Shakespeare & Company

Original music by Penny Fischer and Kyle Smith

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Part I: Who Is Loren E. Chadima?
We talk with award-winning Hollywood acting coach, actor, director and producer and creator of Intentional Acting, Loren E. Chadima. Deneen's longtime friend takes us on such a rich journey of creative process, that we had to split the show in two parts. We didn't want you to miss a thing!

Loren directed Deneen in two one-woman shows, one which Deneen traveled the country performing for 5 years. Loren has been voted as one of the best acting coaches in the US and has had a film in the running for the Academy Awards. She brings her whole being to helping people reconnect and connect with themselves through storytelling. Learn more about Loren and Intentional Acting: https://intentionalacting.com/

Why Loren and Why Now?
We (Deli and Deneen) have been steeped in an ongoing conversation about honoring our creative lives as necessary anchors to our true selves. We couldn't think of a better person with whom to talk about reclaiming and staying connected with one's creative life than with Loren. For us, reconnecting with our creative lives (acting and writing) has been life-giving. For Loren who was once nervous about auditioning because she didn't know what to do, the act of coaching actors has brought the love of acting back into Loren's own life. We discuss the act of reclaiming our creative lives and how life-giving it is. We discuss the creative process as a source of healing. The creative path isn't always the simple path and it is the one that leads you to your truest self, your inner life. We talk about how Loren's approach allows her students to open up their creative processes and show up as present in the moment instead of obsessing about the end results and what to do.

Intentional Acting Process
Loren, mother of a 14 year old son and creator of Intentional Acting, is hired by working actors who feel like they are getting passed over and don't know why. She has created a powerful process and series of questions that help actors tap into their own experience in bringing characters to life. She is currently writing a book with the working title, "Don't Memorize Your Lines First". Yep, you heard that right. In fact, she believes strongly that actors should memorize their lines as the last part of their process. What needs to come first, she says, is the story. Loren's intention with Intentional Acting is to help actors be self-sustaining, to teach them how to fish, as it were, to teach them how to tap into and open up their own creative processes.

She gets actors to connect with your own experiences in ways that create aha's, helping actors connect the character they portray to a piece of themselves. She says, connecting it all to yourself is where the artistry comes in. The work, the process has to be deeply personal to the actor, that's where the truth lies and that's what touches humanity. The that's where the story is and we're all storytellers.

How Do You Take Risks and Be Vulnerable In a Way That Is Safe?
It's scary, unsafe and unhealthy to completely lose oneself in a character to the degree that you have a hard time coming out. Loren's 9 Questions help actors ask the question,
how do I use this scene to benefit myself? How can I use this piece to heal myself rather than harm myself.

Listen as Loren shares a profound story of a scene she did in an Ibsen Play -- one in which for the first time a woman was portrayed as leaving her husband and kids to follow her heart.
What happened during that scene helped to heal her in a profound way in her life.

If it speaks to you, please subscribe to and share our podcast. Leave us a review, it helps us a ton! Thank you for listening.

Original Music by Penny Fischer & Kyle Smith
Intagram: @pennnies @riggs.sz

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We begin with positive listener feedback: The podcast has given courage to speak up at work. And for one listener, every episode has been a joygasm! Thank you!

How speaking things out load with those you trust, in a space space, brings on healing and a coming home to ourselves.

Deneen asks Deli to talk more about how she says each episode has set her up for what happens in her life after the recording. Saying things out loud in conversation with someone you trust helps her speak things into being before fear and mental gymnastics stop her. She shares a recent example. Deneen shares an example of a conversation with her husband which helped dispel fear and anxiety. Again, speaking things out loud. What would happen if we just allow ourselves to be and say what needs to be said in the moment.

Conversation Prompt provided by poet and writing coach, Jena Schwartz. Visit www.JenaSchwartz. We choose & respond to each prompt in the moment, impromptu.

Prompt: "I was (age)..."Deneen shares moments from age 12 during one of her hardest years in school when she was heavily bullied. She describes a photo of herself in which she disparaged herself and shared that with her now 13 year old daughter. She thinks of how that 12 year old had no idea to love herself or even articulate out loud what she was going through. And that now, she speaks her love, embracing that 12 year old, reclaiming all of who she is. Deli was 6, the first grandchild of her maternal grandparents 12 kids, the 3rd of her paternal grandparents' 10 kids, when she moved to the US from Iran, leaving a large extended family that raised her. She talks about how that milestone departure shaped her and her parents, the initial isolation and displacement. Deli starting writing at 6 to stay connected with her thoughts and feelings. Deli speaks of the unforgettable day when her dad presented her with the first poem she wrote at 6, Little Bird, during a painful time in her adult life and how in that act she felt seen, understood, reclaimed. It's was a life-giving act that helped heal a complicated relationship.

We talk about the purpose of our podcast, rediscovering our unstoried selves and loving and embracing and reclaiming ALL the hurt parts within us -- reclaiming our wholeness.

Our Joygasms!
We share our recent joygasms. Reconnecting with old friends and screaming our hearts out in unison at a baseball game and a beautiful example of lqbtqia+ advocacy at a University graduation which gives hope for the future. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR6624wY/?k=1 Tune in to find out what they are and share yours!

If our podcast speaks to you, please subscribe and share our podcast. Leave us a review, it helps us a ton! Thank you for listening.

**Original Music by Penny Fischer & Kyle Smith

Full Writing Prompt by Jena Schwartz:**I Was…(age)

“I had no choice. That may well be the first, the most enduring
characteristic of influence. What's more, I knew nothing. One
morning I was woken before dawn, dressed in a pink cardigan
and skirt, put in a car, taken to an airport. I was five.” – Eavan
Boland

There’s a photo of sixteen-year-old me that my daughter loves. It
must convey to her that there was this other me, one who was
around her age once. One who holds memories she doesn't know
about. One who looked off to the side, outside of the frame, and saw
things she may or may not have spoken of then.

Who was that girl? What was she thinking? What happened
on either side of the shutter click of the old-fashioned camera? I see
her now and begin to wonder. Is there a story there? A memoir of
that moment in time? What is a memoir anyway, if not a collection
of memories—literally from the French word mémoire and the
Latin memoria: memory, reminiscence?

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In this episode, we talk with an amazing woman, yoga & sanskrit instructor & mentor, singer & chanter, Claudette Evans, about the healing power of chanting & vibration, when she felt brave and what romance novel she is currently reading

You'll hear:

• How Claudette uses mantra and chanting as grounding and healing tools for her yoga students
• The work of others around using sound vibration for physical healing
• This episode's prompt and what stories it conjures for Claudette, Deli and Deneen
• Our recent "joygasms" - small and large moments of joyful presence in our lives

Tag us at @unwrittenyoupodcast on IG to leave a comment! Leave us a review at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unwritten-recovering-our-unstoried-selves/id1607908452

Jena's prompt is from her manuscript, Fierce Encouragement for Writing + Life: 201 Writing Prompts to Help You Dig Deep, Quiet the Critic, and Discover the Power of Your Voice in the Wider World – 10 Minutes at a Time

Guest: Claudette EvansIG: @claudette_yoga
Seattle Yoga Arts
8 Limbs Yoga
Cornish School of the Arts
American Sanskrit Institute
Insight Timer (LeeAnn Rimes)

Prompt by Jena Schwartz (writer & writing coach)
From her manuscript: Fierce Encouragement: Book of PromptsCourage"This is what we do for a living - we dance with the Resistance, we do not make it go away. You cannot make it go away - you cannot make the voice go away, you cannot make the fear go away, because it is built in. What you can do is when it shows up, you say 'Welcome! I'm glad you're here. Let's dance about this.'"
Seth Godin

Your Writing Prompt: Tell me what was brave. Start your freewrite with these words: "It was brave of me to..." Or write about a time when you felt the fear and did it anyway.

BooksP.I.T.A.
by Brooke BlaineWhat Do You Do With an Idea?
by Kobi Yamada, illustrated by Mae Besom

Sound Healing ResearchStrang Cancer Prevention Institute (Dr. Mitchell L. Gaynor)
Sacred Sound Institute (no website available)

MusicPenny Fischer
IG: @pennies
Kyle Smith
IG: @riggszthewanderer

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Who is Deli?Her Iranian heritage, coming to America, growing up in Cali, her first real job in a 90’s pioneering streaming media tech company, launching a leadership development company, writing as an avocation and life as a healer.

Who is Deneen?Her family’s many moves, figure skating, working in educational technology (though she wanted to be a drama teacher), elevating student voice through the one woman show she created and toured, and an undiagnosed illness.

How did we meet?The role of education in both their lives as facilitators and keynoters and parents, including bonding over IBM Selectric typewriters.

How did being courageous allow us meet?Deneen created a show she wrote and performed as a keynote on student voice that led her to a workshop Deli was leading. How we need to be in community, not isolation (thank you, Barbara Sher!), to realize the dreams of our hearts.

What if you knew that everything was going to be OK?"What If You Knew" - poem by Jena Schwartz
The stories we tell ourselves...paths as of yet untaken.

What are our Joygasms?In-person concerts with my 13-year-old daughter (Deneen)
Our friendship story and EAGLE MANIA (Deli)
Joy as a revolutionary act.

Original Music by Penny Fischer & Kyle Smith

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In this episode, we talk with wonderful human being, writing coach and group leader and poet, Jena Schwartz, on International Women's Day, about the power of transitions, big and small.

You'll hear:

• How Deli met Jena when she joined Jena's online writing programs
• How Jena's masterful prompts have come to be part of the structure of Unwritten You Podcast
• Hear this episode's prompts and Jena, Deli and Deneen in conversation over the prompt
• Catch each of their recent "joygasms"

We bring you this special 1-hour episode as Jena's prompts going forward will be part of the structure of our episodes and will help launch our conversation. Our conversations are not pre-planned -- we consider topics, and we answer the prompts on the spot as we record. One of the biggest reasons we launched this podcast was to heal and grow through conversation, by speaking things out loud, in the moment, as they come in.

Tag us at @unwrittenyoupodcast on IG to leave a comment! Leave us a review at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unwritten-recovering-our-unstoried-selves/id1607908452

Deep gratitude for Jena's generosity in allowing us to use her prompts for our podcasts. Our hope is that you take each prompt and use it for yourself, in your journal writing and to open and kickoff conversations with friends, family, and even strangers who cross your path.

Jena's prompt in this episode from her manuscript, Fierce Encouragement for Writing + Life: 201 Writing Prompts to Help You Dig Deep, Quiet the Critic, and Discover the Power of Your Voice in the Wider World – 10 Minutes at a Time

Prompt: The Transition

"In the space between chaos and shape, there was another chance."
- Janette Winterson

Then she woke up, woke up from where she was,
where she had dwelled upon and not from,
stepping over the exposed roots and piles
of leaves and laundry and bills, a sopping sponge
unable to hold another drop, as if driving
in a downpour and cursing the futility
of windshield wipers against the force
of the deluge, finally surrendering to the storm
she pulled over, stepping out of the car
and standing on the shoulder, drenched
instantly to the bone, until it was her own
water breaking again, that warm flood
a kind of terrible ecstasy delivering her
to a trailhead where she walked up and up
into the fecund woods, leaving the trail
to find a small gravel clearing, laying
her coat on the ground, raising her arms
to the white sky of welcome home,
crouching, bearing down, reaching for
steady breathing and primal sound,
alone but for the scurry and scamper
of woodland creatures foraging for food,
a safe haven from the relentless tide
and crashing contractions, goddess pose,
hint of a smile, a ringing in her ears
as if always being called forth, a whisper,
You can do this. Ice chips, soft hand,
clammy forehead. You are not crazy.
Pilot light in the belly ignited, shaky
legs now steady, drishti on a dried red leaf,
single point, breath rounding the corner
from wilting to worthy, depleted to daring
yes she dwells upon and not from, too tired
to dream, then rises again, chooses again,
her one wild and precious life, saving herself
first—let the bleeding begin, loosen
the tourniquets of fear—finally baring
her teeth to the cold November wind.
(2011)

Your Writing Prompt: Tell me about the transition. When you sit down to write today, begin with the words, "The transition was _________ than I expected."

Link to Jena's poem, Imagine: https://www.jenaschwartz.com/blog

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Our theme song, Birds, was written and produced by Penny Fischer and Kyle Smith. In this episode, we talk to them about this song, their creative process and how they walk into the unknown. Join us for insights, laughter and, of course, joygasms!

Shout outs to all the music venues and musicians mentioned in this episode:

Penny Fischer@pennies (IG)
linktr.ee/aonecentcoin
"The Rain" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHbyAmf3Qmk
Produced by: Amit Amram

Kyle Smith@riggszthewanderer (IG)
riggsz.hearnow.com

Nectar Lounge in Fremont, Seattle@nectarlounge (IG)

Lana Del Rey@lanadelreybr (IG)

Sammy Rae & the Friends@sammyraemusic (IG)

KEXP - The Roadhouse Showhttps://www.kexp.org/shows/Roadhouse/

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What have you received that you didn't even know you wanted or needed?
This is our question for this episode. We share our own personal stories and talk about the power of giving voice to those stories. We invite our listeners to use this question in their own lives to prompt reflection with themselves and connection with others. And, as always, we share our recent JOYGASMS!

In this episode, we refer to the following fabulous women. Please explore their stories and incredible offerings to the world!
Cheryl Strayed: https://www.cherylstrayed.com/
Tara Brach: https://www.tarabrach.com/
Tierney Sutton: http://tierneysutton.com/

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Yes, we are! Welcome to our podcast!

We are two dear friends, Deneen & Deli, who believe in the power of saying our stories out loud -- from the painful to the joyful -- so that we can write  new stories of life from open and strong hearts. Until we know and accept exactly where we are, we cannot know where we are headed.  This podcast is unscripted and unwritten with an unknown destination.

Join us for our first conversation in which we get clear about our intentions, the structure of future episodes and our hopes for building a community where we share stories, create possibilities and have "joygasms." Let's keep writing into our lives, together.

Inspiration for the title of our podcast came from the song
"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield

Original music for our podcast is the song
"Birds" by Penny Fischer and Kyle Smith
Hosts: Deneen Frazier Bowen & Deli Moussavi