Confessions - Mags DePetris: Recent Episodes
Mags
As a mother of four and a self-proclaimed micromanaging - perfectionist - martyr, I constantly need to be reminded that control leaves me lonely, perfectionism paralyzes me, and caring for others over myself leads to resentment. Join me as I try to navigate being a structure-luvin' gal, in an absolutely chaotic household.Confessions of a Recovering Micromanaging Perfectionist Martyr
What happens when a football game, a church Harvest Fair, and one impressively slammed car door collide? šš„ An overtired Farmer Mags briefly loses track of which opinions actually need her attention. š In this episode, I share a parenting standoffāand the humbling realization hiding beneath all that attitude, fatigue, and farm-inspired wisdom. š¾š
Links to other episodes referenced in this post:
Poke the Bear - Parenting Teen Attitude
Farmer MagsHead My SpeedMean MamaSlow Me Down LordTake More Naps
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How much of my love depends on everyoneāincluding meābehaving acceptably? š¤ When unrealistic expectations collide with family life, I sometimes make a statement that hurts me more than anyone else. Enter one surprisingly sturdy Nerf gun. š¬ In this episode, I explore conditional love, perfectionism, and the small shift that might help me offer everyoneāincluding myselfāa little more grace. š
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Why does running late flip every one of my emotional switches? ā°š¬ On the way to my daughterās appointment, I noticed micromanaging, perfectionism, and martyrdom all climbing into the car with me. This episode explores what rushing awakens in meāand the gentler, faith-filled response Iām practicing instead. šš Plus, the humbling truth about how often weāre actually late!
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š Are you an ingredient... or the baker? š In this Summer Rewind, I'm revisiting a simple baking metaphor that helped me loosen my grip on all-or-nothing thinking. From control and teamwork to accepting different ways of doing things, this short episode explores what happens when we stop insisting everything be made from our recipe. š A lighthearted reflection on growth, flexibility, and finding balance š§āØ
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š What if the people in your life aren't letting you down... you're just asking them to play the wrong position? š¤ In this Summer Rewind, I'm revisiting one of the most helpful discoveries from my recovery journey: the surprising connection between expectations, disappointment, and relationships. š A lighthearted look at football, compassion, and why handing the ball to the right player can change everything. šļøāØ
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š§© Ever feel like some people are built more like Jenga towers than brick walls? One wrong move and everything comes tumbling down. š¬ In this Summer Rewind, I'm revisiting a lesson about sensitive personalities, relationship challenges, and the surprising opportunities hidden inside frustrating interactions. š A lighthearted conversation about kindness, patience, and navigating personality differences without knocking over the whole tower. āļø
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š» Ever find yourself avoiding conflict just to keep the peace? Same. In this season finale, I'm confessing a growing temptation to stop "poking the bear" when teenage attitudes come roaring out of hibernation. š¬ From eye rolls to lip, we're talking about the difference between preserving serenity and permitting disrespect. š A lighthearted look at parenting, boundaries, and why raising kind humans sometimes requires waking the grizzly. š¾
Links mentioned in this episode:
Explanations vs. Excuses
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š What happens when the hardest chapter isnāt yoursābut your childās? In this final conversation with Christine and Dave, we explore the complicated space between fear, courage, healing, and hope. š± Through an unforgettable family story, we talk about resilience, support, and the quiet ways people help us find our footing again. š« A heartfelt conversation about love, community, and what healing can look like when thereās no roadmap. šļø
Episodes mentioned in this post:
Part I
Part II
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One sentence from a friend completely changed how I think about comments regarding kidsā bodies šā¤ļø In this episode, Iām reflecting on body image, parenting, and why even well-meaning remarks about appearance can stay with children for years š From awkward compliments to lasting impressions, this conversation explores the words kids may quietly carry with them.
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Apparently my forehead has been keeping receipts š šŖ In this episode, Iām reflecting on stress, tension, ā11 lines,ā and the surprising connection between our faces and our moods šāØ From grimace lines to laugh lines, this episode explores what it might look like to soften up a littleāinside and out šš§
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What happens when life flips the script overnight? šļøš In Part II of this heartfelt conversation, Christine & Dave share reflections on job loss, vulnerability, resilience, and learning how to ādo hard betterā together ā¤ļøš Thereās honesty, humor, a few hard-earned lessons, and plenty of moments that might leave you quietly nodding along š§
Link mentioned in this episode:
Confessions Conversations: Christine & Dave, Part I
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Gym mirrors and I have never exactly been best friends š šŖ In this episode, a thoughtful conversation with a friend gets me wondering if my self-acceptance might need some strengthening šŖā¤ļø From awkward reflections to quiet recovery reps, this one explores the surprising connection between fitness, compassion, and learning to see ourselves a little differently āØ
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Confessions post #400 š Two identical plants. Same water. Same house. But one thrivedā¦ and the other barely survived. šæ That small difference got me thinking about how environment, awareness, and tiny shifts can change the way we grow. In this episode, I reflect on the journey from surviving to thrivingāand how sometimes the answer is simply finding better light. š
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A random 4AM thought led me down an unexpected path: what if families had their own version of college school spirit? š In this episode, I reflect on the culture some universities createāand how that same sense of pride, loyalty, and belonging might show up at home. A lighthearted look at parenting, family memories, and the hope that our kids someday feel proud to be alumni of the place they grew up. ā¤ļø
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For years I ran at full speed keeping life on track for our family. Now that things are quieter, something surprising keeps showing upāguilt when Iām not being productive. š In this episode, I reflect on learning (very slowly) to sit in a moment of peace without immediately jumping up to do laundry. A small conversation about busyness, identity, and giving ourselves permission to just breathe. šæ
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Sometimes life delivers news that stops everything. In this first Confessions Conversation, I sit down with my friends Christine and Dave to reflect on the moment their world shifted in 2019. What followed was fear, unexpected kindness, quiet strength, and a lot of learning as they found their way forward together. Part I of a heartfelt conversation about partnership, perspective, and the people who show up when life gets hard. ā¤ļø
Links to Christine's inspired work:
Info about c2 and the Community Call
About c2 Care Redefined
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My eighth and final high school hockey season has ended šāļø This episode is a small love letter to fierce girls on the ice, welcoming coaches on the bench, and the warm communities that grow in freezing rinks. Itās about pride, gratitude, and not wanting to forget these cherished times. ā¤ļø
Link to Girls Ice Hockey Movies
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Ever notice how guilt can sneak into even the smallest decisionsālike spending money on yourself? šø In this episode, I share a story about the quiet cost of believing I wasnāt āworthā the investment. From babysitters to yoga retreats, the lesson surprised me: sometimes the most expensive thing isnāt the spendingā¦ itās the guilt we carry. Have a listen šļø
Links mentioned in this episode:
Doubt - How a Broken Camera Motivated Me to Recommit to My MissionLosing Money - From Financial Faceplants to Silver LiningsThrow Money - The Solution to Almost Every Problem
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After weeks of scoreboard talk, I started wondering if thereās a kinder way to check in on how lifeās really going. In this episode, I share a simple Life Balance Wheel Iāve been using to get a quick snapshot of my āgame of life.ā Curious what your wheel might reveal? Subscribers can grab the worksheet PDF and play along. šļø
Links mentioned in this episode:
Youāre Not My Scoreboard - Who Gets a Vote?
Strong Game Energy - My Personal Playbook
One Post at a Time - Confessions' 100th Post
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Last week we talked about lifeās unofficial scorekeepers ā¾ļøā¦ and that got my brain spinning. If life really is a game, what kind of player do I want to be out there? In this episode, Iām sharing a few of the ārulesā in my personal playbookāfrom calling timeouts to trusting teammates and maybe leaving the wild pitcher in the bullpen. š Check out what made my list. šļøā¾ļø
Link mention in this episode:
Youāre Not My Scoreboard - Who Gets a Vote?
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Ever feel like someone in your life is quietly keeping score? ā¾ļø A recent conversation got me reflecting on opinions, boundaries, and those moments when it feels like someone else is calling balls and strikes in my life. In this episode, I share a few thoughts about noticing the āscorekeepers,ā deciding who really gets a vote, and remembering weāre all just playing our own game. šļø
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What happens after the life you planned quietly changes? š± In this gentle conversation, Julie shares pieces of her storyādivorce, rediscovering her inner voice, and the slow process of rebuilding. Along the way, we explore quiet truths, friendship, and the small moments that help life bloom again. šæ
Spring 2026 Events with Julie Fitzpatrick
ā¢ The Belle of Amherst ā March 11 (North Branford) & March 29 (Old Lyme)
ā¢ Shirley Valentine ā April 4 (Guilford)
ā¢ Acting for Adults Classes ā Legacy Theatre
Full details and registration: juliefitzpatrick.com
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āØ A love note to all the tired 30-something legends: grinding, growing, and glowing (quietly) through the mayhem. Life in your 30s can feel like a group project with no project managerāstrong opinions, and the emotional bandwidth of a chewed-up phone charger. If that hits? This oneās for you.
P.S. In case you don't have time to listen to thisāYouāre doing such incredible things. šŖš
Link mentioned in this episode:
My brother and sister in-law's clinic in Milford, CT for children with autism spectrum disorder - So Much To Say
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š§ļø Heard of ātoxic positivityā? This episode unpacks what it really meansāwithout shaming the sunny side. āļø Come sit with a story about burnout, empathy, and finding the light (gently). š No fixing, just a soft place to land.
Link mentioned in this post:
Negative Self-Talk
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šÆ Change doesnāt always feel goodāand thatās not a red flag. In this weekās episode, we explore the messy middle of starting new things (and why itās worth it). šš From golf coaches to breastfeeding flashbacks, hereās your humble reminder that fun often follows not-fun. š
Links for this week's episode:
Positive Self-Talk Work
Transition
When Somethingās Not Working ā Maybe Itās Time to Fix the System, Not Me
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š§ŗ Thoughtful or over-the-top? This episode shares a moment where clean laundry led to a cleaner mindset. Two tiny questions made a big shift. š”š Before you help (again), take a moment with us. It might just save you a round trip to Resentment Town. šļøš¬
Links mentioned in this episode:
Easy Pleasey ā Keeping Check of My Pleasability Meter
Teasey Pleasies ā A Solution to Taming the Unpleasable
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Weāre closing out our self-talk series š but this isnāt goodbye, just a pause to reflect. This episode unpacks what happens when you swap ātruth-tellingā for true kindnessāand how science has quietly had our backs all along š§ āØ One final reframe, friends. Just a little light āļø
Links mentioned in this episode:
- The Book: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter
- The App: Self-Talk+ offers dozens of focused recordings
- The Summary: Magsā book synopsis
- Post: SelfāTalk WakeāUp Call ā A New Voice Thatās Changing Me
- Post: Self-Talk 2026 - A Mindset Shift I Wasnāt Expecting
- Post: Outdated Self-Talk ā Time for a Reframe
- Post: Parenting My Words - One Snarky Comment at a Time
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Ever caught yourself saying āWhatās a nicer way you couldāve said that?ā š Sameāexcept this time, I asked myself. This weekās episode is about trading MamaDeās Passive-Aggressive Playlist š¶ for something softer, clearer, and way more effective. Letās reframe what weāre really trying to sayāone comment at a time. šš¬ #TeamConfessions
Links mentioned in this episode:
- The Book: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter
- The App: Self-Talk+ offers dozens of focused recordings
- The Summary: Magsā book synopsis
- Post: SelfāTalk WakeāUp Call ā A New Voice Thatās Changing Me
- Post: Self-Talk 2026 - A Mindset Shift I Wasnāt Expecting
- Post: Outdated Self-Talk ā Time for a Reframe
As an Amazon Associate, I could earn a small commission if you shop through my links. It costs you nothing, but helps keep this wildly underfunded oversharing experiment heading in the right direction š
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What if your most āhonestā self-talk is actually holding you back? š§ š This week, Iām sharing the surprising reframes that are helping me trade old truths for new pathways. Itās not about pretendingāitās about practicing a voice that helps, not harms. šāØ #TeamConfessions #MindsetShift
Links in this episode:
- The Book: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter*
- The App: Self-Talk+ offers dozens of focused recordings
- The Summary: Magsā book synopsis
- Post: SelfāTalk WakeāUp Call ā A New Voice Thatās Changing Me
- Post: Self-Talk 2026 - A Mindset Shift I Wasnāt Expecting
*As an Amazon Associate, I could earn a small commission if you shop through my links. It costs you nothing, but helps keep this wildly underfunded oversharing experiment heading in the right direction š
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Ever snapped at āWhatās for dinner?ā š½ļøš¤ Yeahā¦ same. This week on Confessions Conversations, my friend Melissa OāHara joins me for a raw + real chat about burnout, brain rewiring š§ , and finding calm in the chaos. If youāve ever felt like the only one holding it all together, this oneās for you šāØ #TeamConfessions
Links for this episode:
Melissa O'Hara
Meditation for Busy People*
Meditation Apps:
Headspace
Calm
Insight Time
*As an Amazon Associate, I could earn a small commission if you shop through my book links. It costs you nothing, but helps keep this wildly underfunded oversharing experiment heading in the right direction š
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New year, new neural pathways? š§ āØ This week kicks off our Self-Talk 2026 seriesāwhere weāre quietly rewriting those old scripts in our heads. If youāve ever felt like your inner voice is more critic than coach, youāre in good company. š¬š Letās start this shift togetherāone gentle reframe at a time. šļø #TeamConfessions
Book Synopsis
Purchase Shad Helmstetterās book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself***
*As an Amazon Associate, I could earn a small commission if you shop through my links. It costs you nothing, but helps keep this wildly underfunded oversharing experiment heading in the right direction š
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š Happy Fend For Yourself Day! š This episode celebrates doing absolutely nothingāwith love, humor, and a dash of self-talk magic. šļø Whether you're lounging or traveling, this one's a cozy reminder that rest isnāt lazyāitās imperative. āØ Kids, you're on your own!
Links mentioned in this episode:
Fend for Yourself Day
Ferri Bueller
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My kids gave me a wake-up call years ago š³āand it turns out, I needed another one! This episode explores how our self-talk š§ becomes the soundtrack of our livesāand the power of softening the script š. No pressure, no perfectionājust one curious step toward a kinder inner voice. š§ Ready to rewire that brain-box, TeamConfessioners?
Links mentioned in this episode:
Mothering Can't Be This Hard
YouTube video of Shad Helmstetter
Fend for Yourself Day
RESOURCES:
- The Book: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter
- The App: Self-Talk+ offers dozens of focused recordings
- The Summary: Magsā book synopsis
As an Amazon Associate, I could earn a small commission if you shop through my links. It costs you nothing, but helps keep this wildly underfunded oversharing experiment heading in the right direction š.
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Curious about What to Say When You Talk to Yourself? šš§ This bonus episode offers a gentle, bite-sized summary of Shad Helmstetterās classic book on self-talkāwhat it is, how it works, and why it matters š¬š. If youāve been looking for a kinder way to speak to yourself, this is a soft place to start. š§
RESOURCES:
- The Book: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter
- The App: Self-Talk+ offers dozens of focused recordings
- The Summary: Magsā book synopsis
As an Amazon Associate, I could earn a small commission if you shop through my links. It costs you nothing, but helps keep this wildly underfunded oversharing experiment heading in the right direction š.
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Ever feel like you're giving out standing ovations š... and getting occasional golf claps in return? š¬ This episode peeks behind the silence to explore the many ways love shows upāespecially when praise isn't part of the package. From popcorn metaphors šæ to parallel parking š, we're digging into validation, acts of service, and the quiet care that's there, but we might be missing š
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š This season, I found myself juggling connection and controlāagain. A night out, a few unchecked texts, and a family FaceTime later, I realized the āhotlineā I was running was one I created. Tune in for a reflection on presence, letting go, and that bittersweet shift when your kids grow up and stop needing you quite so much š Letās talk boundaries, and being where our feet are š«
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What if your own branches šæ are crowding someone elseās light? A gentle look at parenting growing kids, inspired by gardening āļø, overgrowth, and the quiet gift of letting go š
Posts referenced in this episode:
P-L-A-N ā The Importance of Planning Ahead
Tightening the Screws ā My 6 Essential Self-Care Routines
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Ever think about how your mood might be linked to your words? Inspired by Rumi, my momās birthday š, and a well-timed @ShawnAchor book š, this episode dives into the quiet power of praise šāand how forgetting it might dim our inner light āØ
Other episodes referenced in this post:
Mothering Can't Be This Hard
Dashboard Lights
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A tearful SUV saga šš turns into a deeper look at why letting go can feel so impossible. From clingy car decisions to parenting text etiquette, this oneās for anyone feeling stuck between who they were and who theyāre becoming. Come sit with us in the in-between šā¤ļøāš©¹
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š She spent years helping people through unthinkable loss ā then it happened to her. In this Confessions Conversation, Rachel Joffe shares what sheās learned from both sides of the grief process. š From hospital floors to private practice to LEGO builds, this episode is about what helps, what to do if we got it wrong, and how we get back up. š«
Bricks & Minifigs West Babylon, NY
Bricks & Minifigs on FaceBook
Bricks & Minifigs on Instagram
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š Whether itās a holiday or just a regular olā Sunday, some routines just stop working. This episode explores how one familyāand one tired momāditched the old Halloween script and found peace in reimagining the day. Quiet reinvention, unexpected joy, and a plug for Planning Church š āŖ
Link to post mentioned in the episode:
Planning Church
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Ever reached the āend zoneā and barely paused to notice? šāØ This oneās a heart check on gratitude, growth, and the quiet wins we often forget to celebrate. A reflective conversation inspired by a college-aged kid, a few past dreams come true, and the subtle art of staying where your feet are.
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š Heās 16! And Iām handing out wisdom instead of party favors. This week, Iām reflecting on Walkmans, awkward beginnings, and why sticking it out (even when itās awkward) can lead to the best memories. šæāØ If youāve ever wanted to bail on a moment too soonāthis oneās for you š¶ā¤ļø
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Ever regret a sent email or text? š Letās chat about those digital moments where our fingers move faster than our filters. This week, Iām sharing my not-so-glamorous history of inbox drama and one simple pause that helps me respond like a grown-up (most days). š»š¬ Join me for a quick laugh, some humble truths, and maybe a reminder to hit āsave draftā instead of āsend.ā š„ā¤ļø
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For our first Confessions Conversations šļø Iām joined by my daughter Tayte to talk about growing up, finding your voice, and turning observations into action. From sticky systems to small acts of advocacy, this is a heart-forward conversation about empathy, maturity, and using your voice when it counts. š
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Ever feel like feedback hits a little too hard? š„ This week, I share a voice message I sent my son about learning to receive critique with graceāand what itās taught me about maturity, growth, and softening our sharp edges. If you're working on hearing feedback without falling apart, this one's for you. š§š
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Ever find yourself stuck just inches from the finish line? š In this episode, we talk about that last 1%āand why finishing doesnāt have to be flashy to be enough. Letās rethink āstrong finishesā and find a gentler š± way to call things done.
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The shift from summer to fall can feel a little wobbly šš§ābut itās also the perfect time to pause and check in. In this episode, I share the simple self-care routines I return to when the screws on my cart get a little loose. No pressure, no perfectionājust an honest look at what helps me feel grounded. šāØ
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Confessions Teams Up with C2 careāredefined
Tuesday, July 29th @ 10:30 AM EST
Join a free weekly phone call with like-minded women:
C2 CommunityāCall
Dial in at 401-271-1588
To learn more about the call: CLICK HERE
On this week's Summer Rewind...
Ever wish you could just cancel the problem? š„šµ This episode brings you a 91-year-old legend, a moment of clarity, and the surprising fix for a frenzied mind. Featuring phone rules, real talk, and the freedom found in keeping it simple. š¬āØ
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Confessions Teams Up with C2 rareāredefined
Tuesday, July 22nd @ 10:30 AM EST
Join a free weekly phone call with like-minded women:
C2 CommunityāCall
Dial in at 401-271-1588
To learn more about the call: CLICK HERE
On this week's Summer Rewind...
What if your best ideas are secretly sabotaging your peace? š”š This episode explores how putting space between your thoughts and actions might just be the trick to living simplerāand maybe even a little saner. š¦āØ
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Confessions Teams Up with C2 careāredefined
Tuesday, July 15th @ 10:30 AM EST
Join a free weekly phone call with like-minded women:
C2 CommunityāCall
Dial in at 401-271-1588
To learn more about the call: CLICK HERE
On this week's Summer Rewind...
Can slow really be the new fast? š¶āāļøš This episode reflects on lessons from Essentialism and Effortless, and how a few simple shifts made work feel lighter, smootherāeven satisfying. One Navy SEAL quote mightāve just changed everything. š”
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Confessions Teams Up with C2 careāredefined
Tuesday, July 8th @ 10:30 AM EST
Join a free weekly phone call with like-minded women:
C2 CommunityāCall
Dial in at 401-271-1588
To learn more about the call: CLICK HERE
On this week's Summer Rewind...
Ever wish you could speed through life like a superhero? š¦øāāļø This episode explores what happens when we stop chasing faster and start honoring our own pace. Itās a lighthearted reflection on slowness, pressure, and what it really means to be āproductive.ā š¢āØ
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Confessions Teams Up with C2 careāredefined
Tuesday, July 1st @ 10:30 AM EST
Join a free weekly phone call with like-minded women:
C2 CommunityāCall
Dial in at 401-271-1588
To learn more about the call: CLICK HERE
On this week's Summer Rewind...
Ever stumble across something that hits you right in the soul? š³āØ This episode shares a quiet moment, a beloved poem, and the unexpected pause it brought. No big takeawaysājust a gentle reminder to slow down, breathe deep, and root into what matters most.
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Confessions Teams Up with C2 careāredefined
Tuesday, June 24th @ 10:30 AM EST
Join a free weekly phone call with like-minded women:
C2 CommunityāCall
Dial in at 401-271-1588
To learn more about the call: CLICK HERE
On this week's Summer Rewind...
Weight gain and self-acceptance can feel at odds, especially when societal pressures linger. In this episode, we explore a new perspective on embracing lifeās changes with compassion. From stepping into family photos to easing self-criticism, this journey is about finding peace with your body at any size. Tune in to discover how self-acceptance can empower us to live freelyāno matter the stage weāre in.
This is how I put it together that we learn from one anotherā¦
Monkey See Monkey Do - If I donāt know what it looks like, I canāt do it.
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Season 9ādone and dusted! š This wrap-up covers what we learned, whatās ahead, and why āless phone, more restā might be the perfect summer plan. āļøš“ Plus, a sneak peek at a special summer rewind collab with C2 Care Redefined and my dream of bringing guests into the studio. ššļø
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Ever feel like your needs are going unmet? š«¤ Samezies. But what if the thing youāre waiting for has already arrivedājust not in the package you expected? šŖš« This oneās about open windows, not just closed doors, Team.
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Gratitude lists feeling a little... meh? š“ Same. But a tiny tweak to my routine helped me stay more present and positive all day long. š«š From forgetful detours to snuggly surprises, this oneās got heart, humor, and a dishwasher full of reminders. š§¼āØ
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Ever catch yourself ālast-ten-poundingā your life? š This week, we talk about that slippery slope between striving and settling. A little gym talk, a lot of heart talkāand a birthday-sized dose of perspective. šššŖ
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Ever find yourself overanalyzing... everything? šāļø Samezies. From night sweats to snoring, I wandered the maze and finally figured out why I do it. Yahoooo! Listen to this week's post to find out š
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What makes someone feel like a mother to you? This oneās a love letter to the women whoāve mothered us in quiet, powerful ways šāØ Tune in for reflections on friendship, support, and the magic that happens when women show up for one another š
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Ever switch bags to keep the peace? šļøš Cousin Forreste shares an honest moment that unpacks way more than just Tupperware. This oneās all about people-pleasing, overthinking, and learning to let go of the need to be liked. Youāll laugh, nod, and maybeājust maybeāditch that extra bag. šÆ
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Is it our job to help someone heal if theyāre not ready? š¾š This weekās chat with my future-vet daughter got me thinking about boundaries, burnout, and the fine line between being helpful... and being human. š§ š¶ Tune in for a gentle reminder that not every hurting heart is ours to mend.
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Some hills are just too steep to climb alone. šāāļøšØ Whether itās a college sprint or a life moment that stops you cold, this oneās about how asking for help (yep, out loud!) might be the bravest, strongest step of all. You donāt have to do the hard stuff solo. š¤š
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Ever wonder if weāre swinging too far the other way when it comes to parenting? š¬ Letās talk about choices, feelings, and aunts who smells like mothballsāin a completely loving way. ā¤ļø A little discomfort can go a long way. Come hang with us for a fresh take on raising brave humans.
Link from this episode:Explanations vs. Excuses
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Can good manners really give kids a leg up in life? In a world where āpleaseā and āthank youā are becoming rare, weāre diving into how teaching respect and gratitude can open doors for your kids. From little phrases to big life lessons, it turns out that manners matter more than we might think. Curious how? Tune in and see if you agree.
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Ever feel buried under your kidsā to-do lists? Letās chat about a little parenting shift that could lighten your load and help your kids grow up a bit faster. In this episode, we explore how letting go of certain responsibilities can make parenting feel a lot easier. Curious about the balance between helping and hovering? Tune in and see if this approach could work for you!
Now, if you enjoyed this post, youāll probably like this one too!
How to Stop Blaming My Husband When the Kids Screw Up
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Do you find yourself always reaching out but rarely hearing back? Letās talk about one-way relationships and how to find balance without bitterness. In this episode, weāre diving into the tricky art of letting go (without the guilt) and focusing on the connections that truly matter. Ready to feel lighter? Tune in and see if you relate.
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Ever felt the urge to fire off a text in the heat of the moment? Yeah, me too. Before you hit send (or reply), letās chat about three simple questions that can save you from potential regretāand maybe even preserve your sanity. Whether itās emotional texts from loved ones or a knee-jerk reaction of your own, this episode is all about pressing pause before texting. Curious? Tune in and see if you relate.
Some links from this episode:
Expectations - Am I Setting People Up for Failure
Read more about the Marco Polo app
Other episodes on pausing:
The Pause - This One Thing Has Changed My Entire Life6 Ways To Avoid Stress - Dodging Stress That I Personally Manufacture
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What if you didnāt need chaos to justify a pause? In this episode, Christine Toner and Lisa Roche from The Lens of Beauty share a perspective shift that invites more ease, stillness, and beauty into your life. From home spaces to headspaces, they explore how to embrace flow over force and why "making it work" might not be the answer. If youāre craving more calm in 2025, this conversation is for you š§āāļø
Lens of Beauty on Instagram:
@TheLensofBeauty
Lens of Beauty Podcast:
Lens of Beauty
If this episode resonated with you, please check out these Confessions posts too:Slow is the New Fast - Learning How to Heed My SpeedSlow is the New Fast - Shifting My Perspective on Speed
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Winter slows me downāand Iām okay with thatā¦ mostly. But thereās a fine line between restful and restless, and Iāve found a sneaky little way to keep from feeling like a total slug. In this episode, weāre talking about embracing the seasonās slower pace without letting it turn into a guilt trip. Plus, a little multitasking magic to make downtime feel just productive enough. Grab a blanket, hit play, and letās chat.
If you need more listening on the topic of restorationā¦
P-L-A-N
Iām Not Sorry - Honoring My DowntimeWhen I Swear At My Kids - Itās Time for MRTReaLISTic - Are My Lists At This Time of Year Realistic?
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Ever feel like you're stretched too thin? Same. This fall had me questioning my relationship with martyrdom and learning to prioritize my VIPs. In this episode, weāre talking about balancing the people on our "plane of life" without guilt, stress, or overextending ourselves. If youāve ever struggled with saying ānoā or felt torn in too many directions, this oneās for you. Letās chat about protecting our energy while still keeping our connections strong.
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Ever notice how some things feel huge in the moment but really arenāt? Same. Over time, Iāve learned that if everything is heavy, nothing is heavy. In this episode, weāre talking about how to lighten up, address issues without the drama, and save our energy for what really matters. Plus, a little humor never hurts, right? Letās figure out how to keep the small stuff small and the important stuff heard.
If you liked this post, you might like this one too:Crazy Stupid - All Women are Crazy All Men are Stupid
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Ever thrown a perfect pass only to watch it drop? Maybe you're passing to a running back, not a wide receiver. In this episode, we dive into expectationsāhow they shape our relationships and sometimes set us (and others) up for failure. With Super Bowl Sunday around the corner, letās take a lesson from football and rethink how we build our teams. Tune in for a fun, eye-opening play-by-play on making the most of the people in your life.
If you liked this post, you might like these posts too:The Dangers of Expectations - Do NOT Pass to Your Running Back Daniel Shay - Why Am I Surprised?Making the Holidays Easier With Family - Donāt Be Surprised
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Tired of being stuck in the same old box? This episode dives into the art of venting with intentionāshifting from endless complaints to actionable solutions. By tuning into your patterns and taking control of what you can change, youāll feel empowered, not powerless. Tune in for tips on breaking out of those itchy, uncomfortable boxes for good!
Posts mentioned in this episode:
1. The Dangers of Expectations
2. Dashboard Lights
3. Gossip and Criticism - This Is What's REALLY Going On
And...
The Power of the Plan - How I Got Everything I Have
Adult Growth Spurts - Theyāre a Real Thing
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Whatās your motivation when offering feedback? This episode explores how our personal agendas can influence our relationships. Learn how pausing to ask yourself this key question can strengthen your connections, empower others, and keep your friendships rooted in mutual respect. A gentle reminder to listen more, guide less, and build trust.
Past episode mentioned in this post:
A Reason To Trust The WorldEmpowerment Over Approval ā Choosing the Right People to Trust
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Feeling the Monday holiday whiplash? Letās prep for Take It Easy Tuesday! This episode is your guide to managing expectations after a long weekend. Whether itās laundry, grocery runs, or simply resting, the goal is to keep things light and manageable. Tune in for practical tips to make your reset smooth and guilt-free.
My original post on this topic:
Take It Easy Tuesday - Navigating Weekday Resets
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Feeling stuck in slow-mo? This episode explores six gentle steps to help motivate without beating yourself up. Perfect for those struggling to "get their ducks in a row," itās about patience, compassion, and baby steps. Whether you're nailing resolutions or binge-watching your favorite series, itās all good. Tune in for tips on shifting perfectionism to progressāwithout the guilt.
If youād like to listen to more on this topic, Iāll link to my posts about embracing my pace titled:
Slow is the New Fast - Learning How to Heed My Speed
Slow is the New Fast - Shifting My Perspective on Speed
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Ever feel like you need a little extra support to hit your goals? Join me as I share my cousin Keely Grace McCarthyās take on "scaffolding"āa method to build the framework you need for growth. Letās kick off the New Year with tools that empower us to tackle challenges with grace and grit. This episode is all about creating the support systems that help you thrive.
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Vacations are for letting loose, right? But what happens when our āvacation modeā habits take overālate nights, impulse buys, and ice cream for breakfast? This week, weāre embracing the chaos, silencing that inner critic, and exploring why giving ourselves permission to fully let go might actually help us appreciate lifeās structure. Tune in for a dose of humor, honesty, and holiday vibes!
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The holidays can be a whirlwind of to-dos, but what if we paused to ask: āWhatās the most loving choice for me today?ā This week, weāre diving into the art of balancing self-care with seasonal demands. From guilt-free gym skips to indulging in Christmas movies, itās all about finding what feels best for you. Plus, a reminder about our favorite Confessions holidayāFend for Yourself Day! Tune in for tips, laughs, and a little nudge to prioritize yourself this season.
Links from this episode:
Prioritizing Self-Care During the HolidaysKerry Graham Shayās websiteKerry Graham Shay's mindfulness classesFend for Yourself Day!
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Ever felt stuck in a situation where staying the course just doesnāt feel right? This week, weāre exploring the courage it takes to find and follow lifeās exit rampsāespecially in relationships. Whether youāre navigating a breakup, a divorce, or simply stepping into a new chapter, weāre talking about the power of saying no to make room for whatās next. Tune in to reflect, recharge, and rethink how you approach lifeās transitions.
Go check out the other things Julie is up to:
Julie Fitzpatrick
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Ever wondered why weāre still squeezing into the same bed when survival no longer depends on it? In this episode, weāre challenging sleep traditions and exploring how sleeping separately might actually save your sanityāand your relationship. From better rest to creative room makeovers, weāre diving into why breaking from tradition can be an act of self-care. Get ready to rethink how you rest and embrace changes that work for you!
And to take a peek at some Christmas wishes from the past....
2017 All I Want for Christmas I2018 All I Want for Christmas II2019 All I Want for Christmas III2020 All I Want for Christmas IV2021 All I Want for Christmas V2022 All I Want for Christmas VI
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In this quick confession, weāre diving into an Emerson quote that hits home: "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." Itās one I remind my kids of often, but today, Iām taking a closer look at my own actions, especially with the holidays approaching. Join me as I reflect on how to keep my words and actions aligned, soften those sharp edges, and make a little more room for kindness. Itās a lighthearted check-in on living out those āI love youāsā in the small, everyday moments. ā¤ļø
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Why do family quirks still catch us off guard? This episode dives into the humor (and relief!) of letting go of surprise when loved ones show their ātrue colors.ā Inspired by Dan Shayās recent stories, weāre embracing family for who they areāquirks and allājust in time for the holidays. Join us for a lighthearted chat on how a small mindset shift can make family time feel easier and even more enjoyable! š¦āØ
Dan Shay - Why Am I Surprised?
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Ever find yourself frustrated by the same things over and over? In this episode, Dan Shay, beloved teacher and fellow TeamConfessioner, shares a simple mindset shift he discovered on the golf course that helped him let go of frustrationāeven when things donāt go his way. Join us as we explore why letting go of āthe surpriseā can bring a little more calm and enjoyment to everyday life. Itās lighthearted, relatable, and a great reminder to stop expecting perfection from ourselves. ā³āØ
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Do my worry-fueled warnings keep my kids safeāor just cynical? š¤ In this episode, Iām digging into a mindset shift inspired by Hidden Brain and some eye-opening parenting moments. Join me as I weigh my ācaution firstā approach against my husbandās faith in the world, exploring how our views may shape more than we realize. Itās a lighthearted look at parenting, protection, and maybe trusting a little more. Listen in for a few laughs, honest reflections, and some surprising insights! šāØ
How Your Beliefs Shape RealityYou 2.0: Fighting Despair
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Feeling the holiday pressure creeping in already? š In this episode, we're talking about the little things that turn holiday prep into holiday stress. From the āmust-doāsā that donāt actually have to be done to finding simple ways to keep December as calm as possible, join us for laughs, honest confessions, and practical ideas to keep things festiveānot frantic. This oneās for anyone who loves the season but could use a breather. Letās make it merryā¦with a side of manageable! š āØ
6 Ways To Avoid Stress
Survival Mode
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In this episode, Iām breaking down the sneaky ways I create my own stressāand how Iām working to stop it. From setting unrealistic deadlines to packing my schedule too tightly, Iāve discovered some surprising habits that turn simple tasks into stressful ones. Join me as I share tips on prioritizing what truly matters and how a bit of self-awareness has helped me reclaim more peace this season. Letās learn to drop the unnecessary stress and embrace a calmer approach to lifeās demands.
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In this episode, we dive into something we all faceāmistakes! If perfectionism is wearing you down (whether itās with yourself or others), this is an invitation to explore a lighter approach. Weāll chat about how shifting perspective can ease the frustration and bring a little more humor to everyday life. Letās figure out how to be a little gentler, together.
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Feeling stuck in old habits? This week, weāre challenging the belief that āold dogs canāt learn new tricks.ā Tune in as we explore how fear of change holds us back, and discover why embracing new tricksāat any ageācan bring fresh energy and growth to your life. If you're ready to face fear and step into something new, this episode is for you. Let's learn to trust change and grow!
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Are you a get-it-done or a get-it-done-just-right person? Join us this week as we celebrate 23 years of marriage and dive into the dynamics between detail-oriented folks and those who thrive on getting things done. Iāll share how I went from resenting my husbandās āgood enoughā approach to embracing the peace it brought to our lives. Tune in for some honest reflections, a few laughs, and insights on how we balance our different styles. Spoiler: Itās all about knowing when to do things 'just right'āand when to let go!
Link mentioned in this week's episode:
Enough Dysmorphia - Unconsciously Doing Everything 110%
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In this episode, we explore the journey of rediscovering yourself as your children grow. With two or four kids now in college, the shift in family dynamics brings unexpected changes. How do you reclaim parts of yourself you may have lost along the way? Tune in as we talk about navigating this new chapter of life and finding balance in the midst of it all.
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In this episode, we feature a submission from NiCole Schlagheck, a mother of four young adults, who shares her journey of re-positioning, re-ceiving, and re-defining herself in this new phase of life. How do we pivot when our kids become more independent? NiColeās insights offer powerful tools for navigating change with grace and purpose. Tune in to hear her story and learn more about her inspiring community work.
Community Soup Kitchen: donation INFO!
CSK Soup-a-Thon: November 14th, 2024 INFO!
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In this episode, Brianna Scott shares her honest reflections on the evolving challenges of parenthood. From managing a household of four to navigating a busy work, school, and extracurricular schedule, she offers insight into the ever-changing pace of parenting. How do we adapt as parents when life doesnāt get easier, just different? Tune in for Briannaās wisdom and stay for a preview of next weekās episode on the 'letting go' phase of parenting.
Creare Web Solutions
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Welcome to Season Nine! In this episode, Mags opens up about the challenges of getting back into the groove after a much-needed break. If youāve ever felt overwhelmed before even getting started, youāre in good company. Tune in for gentle reminders on how to ease into the busy season with patience and self-compassion.
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Learn the art of controlling the stuff, rather than the people. Don't miss this popular episode that provides insights and tips to keeping the summer calm!
Learn more about our...
TeamC Summer Submission Campaign
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Learn effective strategies for communicating with family members. Discover how to make them feel heard and seen.
And don't forget! Please click the link to learn more about our...
TeamC Summer Submission Campaign
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Give yourself permission to prioritize self-care. Find out why it's important to put yourself on the list and improve your well-being.
And here's a link to all the information you need to know about our...
TeamC Summer Submission Campaign
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Don't let summer with kids overwhelm you. Learn how to plan ahead and make the most of the season with family and friends and self-care.
And don't forget to learn more about our...
TeamC Summer Submission Campaign
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Learn how to break free from the misconception that self-care is selfish. Discover the healing potential of prioritizing your own needs.
And don't forget to learn more about our...
TeamC Summer Submission Campaign
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If you're sending yourself negative messages to yourself through your thoughts all day, you're going to want to listen to this. ALSO, please push play to hear all about our exciting opportunity, TeamC Summer Submission Campaign!
And, please be sure to re-listen to the posts, Ambition & Ready or Not before your inner critic tries to take over what you know in your heart you want to do!
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Before planning trip after trip with your family, listen to this episode to learn more about the benefits of taking a group conscious!
Emotional Greed - When Someone is Never Enough
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Catch Mags as she unpacks a striking lesson from "Fargo" Season 4 and connects it to her personal journey of growth. Inspired by the evolving courage of characters, she reflects on how our world of endless information shapes a bold, questioning generation. Tune in to hear how this shaped her approach to parenting and lifeāmaking changes to be the person her kids will want to keep close. Don't miss this dive into the power of adaptability and acceptance!
Link to my first podcast ever.
Link to the episode about the kind of people I want to be around.
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Celebrate a birthday and a revelation in today's episode as Mags reflects on the humorous yet undeniable signs of aging. From steering clear of downtown traffic to wrestling with forgetfulness, join her as she navigates the shifts life throws her way. Tune in for a heartfelt dive into adaptability and giving oneself the gift of grace with each passing year. Don't miss this introspective journey into embracing life's changes!
Link to episode on ADAPTABILITY!
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Join us for a captivating episode where Mags shares an inspiring encounter with a 91-year-old firecracker who gifted her a life-changing mantra. Learn how this simple yet profound wisdom helped Mags tackle her own overwhelming challenges and how it might just change your life too. Tune in for an unforgettable lesson in living with clarity and purpose!
A link to what we talked about last month...
Motherhood and Chaos - Why it's Not Our Fault!
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Get ready for a no-holds-barred discussion on parenting and education. In this episode, Mags shares a compelling story from a recent parent-teacher conference that might change how you think about academic responsibility and support. Why would a parent insist on allowing their child to fail? Dive into the debate and discover Mags' approach to teaching life's lessons. Don't miss this thought-provoking episode on fostering independence and resilience in kids!
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In this episode of Confessions, Mags shares the 10 foundational pillars that revolutionized her life. These 10 steps allowed Mags to transform sarcasm and judgment into love and connection, especially with her family, who she values more than chips and salsa! From self-awareness to gratitude, each pillar has shaped a journey towards a softer, more loveable version of herself. Plus, a special gift awaits email subscribers. Ready for transformation? Subscribe for your journey to begin with FREE 40 Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery!
How I Knew I Had to CHANGE!
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In this episode, Mags talks about a transformative piece of advice that propelled her from hesitation to action, despite facing personal challenges. Discover the mindset shift that helped her overcome imperfection and fear, all wrapped up with a touch of humor and heartfelt stories. What's the secret that changed everything for her? Plus, a special sneak peek at an exclusive offer for email subscribers next week. If you're ready to embrace a leap of faith in your life, don't miss this. Subscribe and join us on a journey to turning points and breakthroughs!
How I Stay Motivated to Work Out
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Tune into this episode where Mags gets real about the impact of opinions in our lives. She unveils how distinguishing between the"right" and "wrong" voices has transformed her approach to relationships, which has led to freedom from caring what the wrong people think and genuine self-assurance. Mags invites you to reflect on one important question to ask yourself to know who those "right people" are and who those "wrong people" are in your life. This episode promises to challenge your perceptions, offer a fresh perspective on friendship, and self-empowerment. Ready to identify who really matters in your life? Join us for a journey of acceptance and growth.
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In this episode, Mags explores the world of online health advice as she debates her water intake. But realizes it's not just about hydration; it's a quest for validation in an information-saturated age. She reflects on seeking advice when we actually crave affirmation and extends a warm, humorous nod to everyone's efforts in managing life's challenges. Tune in as Mags shares insights and prepares to reveal a magic question that guides us towards genuine support and validation. Laughter, empathy, and a touch of self-recognition await in this episode of Confessions.
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Additional posts talked about in this week's episode ā Go check 'em out!Motherhood & Chaos: Why Itās Not Our FaultThe Art of Disappointment: It's Not You, It's MeSurvival Mode ā Cutting Every Corner PossibleIn today's episode, we tackle spring's chaos, emphasizing the power of saying "no" to maintain serenity amidst our packed schedules. We explore strategies for shedding unnecessary commitments, especially when life unexpectedly piles more onto our already full plates. Learn how to decline gracefully, prioritize well-being, and embrace the discomfort of growth as signs of emotional strength. This conversation is a call to all parents feeling the squeeze of spring activities: It's okay to reassess your commitments for your peace of mind. Join us as we share insights on advocating for ourselves, navigating the fine line between commitment and overload, and the journey towards self-empowerment. Have you faced a tough decision to say "no" recently? Please click this link and share your experiences in the comment section at the bottom of the page. Let's empower each other to prioritize serenity this spring.
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Additional links talked about in this week's episode:Throw Money at the Problem
Dive into the whirlwind of household chaos in today's episode, where we debunk society's myth of the perfect, peaceful home. Despite efforts from mindfulness to decluttering, chaos lingers like glitter at a party. We explore why chaos isn't a failure but a part of life's inherent unpredictability, especially with kids. Forget societal pressures; it's time to embrace the mess and extend grace to ourselves as we navigate the beautiful turmoil of family life. Join us as we share a laugh, a sigh, and a new perspective on the endless battle against chaos. Your stories and thoughts on navigating household pandemonium are welcome. Let's chat about finding peace amidst the chaos together.
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Join us as we delve into the transformative power of personal passions in combating obsessive thoughts. Host Mags shares her journey of breaking free from the relentless cycle of fixating on negative thoughts. Discover how engaging in activities you love can provide an antidote to obsessive thinking and bring lightness to your life. From creative pursuits to personal anecdotes, learn how embracing passion can lead to mental clarity and emotional well-being. Listen and explore practical strategies for navigating the maze of obsessive thinking and reclaiming control over your mind. Let passion be your guide to liberation from the grip of relentless thoughts.
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Link to Faith Spin Doctor - Flipping Everything Towards the Positive
Dive into an episode of transformation with Mags as she navigates a series of life's mishaps, from a failed project to a flooded basement. Last month's relentless challenges couldn't keep her down. Discover how Mags turns setbacks into setups using her cognitive behavioral tricks and a powerful mantra: "It's happening for me, not to me." This isn't just about overcoming adversity; it's about redefining perspectives and embracing the power of positive thinking.
Mags shares real-life examples where this mantra shifted her view from frustration to opportunity, revealing the magical benefits of a positive outlook. From basement floods to unexpected travel plans, learn how changing your perspective can transform stumbling blocks into stepping stones of faith. This episode goes beyond mere words, offering insights into spiritual and personal growth, gratitude, and the serene acceptance of life's twists and turns.
Join Mags on her journey to Acceptance Town, a place where challenges are opportunities, and every situation is a reminder of our trust in something greater. Whether you're wrestling with your own roller coaster of life or seeking a new path of spiritual growth, this episode invites you to share your stories of perspective shifts and how the mantra "It's happening for me, not to me" has impacted your life. Let's turn challenges into opportunities together.
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Explore the emotional journey of financial losses with Mags as she unpacks the guilt, shame, and regret that often accompany a financial mishap. Mags shares with us how she was able to turn her loss into a gain by taking a whole new look at the situation. Find value beyond the dollar and turn setbacks into comebacks. #Finance #SelfLove #Podcast
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Learning how empathy triumphs over fear in supporting loved ones. A compassionate approach offers solace and strength during challenging times.
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Join Mags DePetris in exploring self-kindness during weekday resets post-federal holidays. Embrace serenity for a fulfilling and balanced life.
Fend for Yourself Day
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Learn a helpful tool to be a better listener, especially when connecting with your kids. Join the conversation on redefining giving through genuine connection.Fend for Yourself Day
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Navigating parenthood challenges and relationship rollercoasters. Discover the art of reparation for personal peace and thriving family dynamics in 2024.
Grudge Holding - Letting Go of Grudges Comes Down to One Thing
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In this week's post, I explore how my personal mission statement, along with the use of goals, serve as the key to unlocking the answers in my life. By documenting the choices that harmonize with the person I aim to be, my daily decisions actively shape and embody the person I aspire to be.
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This post provides a concise guide on formulating a personal mission statement, to help you define your core values, articulate long-term goals, and create a guiding framework for decision-making. Explore key steps and insightful tips to articulate a clear and meaningful mission statement that aligns with your aspirations and values.
Introduction to Mission Statements
What is a Personal Mission Statement and Why Should I Write one?
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I would argue that a majority of the choices I make in response to my life have to be made when Iām either overwhelmed, overtired, or run down. If I donāt have an intentional plan, Iām going to do whatās easiest in the moment, thatās why I have to do thisā¦
An Introduction to Mission Statement Month
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Creating a personal mission statement will help you become clear on who you are and what you stand for. It will also help you to make decisions in line with the person you mean to be more and more. Please join us this month to learn more about how and why you should consider writing a personal mission statement in 2024.
How to Increase Willpower
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In the past, Iāve seen willpower as something I either had or didnāt have. I never gave myself the grace to see my power of will as a resource that I usually have, but that occasionally donāt have.
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Bringing back a higher heel isnāt about fashion, itās about reclaiming the confidence and a positive self image that can get lost during the parenting process.
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Prioritizing self care during the holidaysārather than skipping over the things I do for myself in the name of more half-baked holiday hustleāis always worth it.
And here's that link to Fend for Yourself Day!
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While this season begs for us to be merry and bright, thatās just not realistic for a lot of people. The best Christmas gift for everyone on your list may in fact be this.
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When people avoid me, I feel alone, misunderstood, and underappreciated. But now, when people dodge me, I can ask myself: Mags, would you want to be around you right now?!JoinTeamConfessions!
Here are 5 of my favorite Back End Rituals that I turn to when I need to refill my cup after a family gathering.JoinTeamConfessions!
This is the perfect time for me to remember that I donāt have to correct my family members while they're telling a story!JoinTeamConfessions!
For a long time, I was under the illusion that a day would come when Iād finally crack the perfect eating code. I stayed stuck until I learned this little trickā¦
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If I want out of that Neighborhood of Procrastination , Iām going to have to hop on Compassion Alley and take a right onto Understanding Way.
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Itās time for me to, not just teach my teenagers how to do more for themselves, but also to teach them how to recognize when itās time to do for others.
The Giving Tree Part I - The Giving Too Much Tree
Parenting Teenagers - How to Water a Teenager
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If I continually give of my resources, they will continually be taken. This is a clear boundary thatās mine and mine alone to set.
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As soon as I stopped holding all the weight of my anger and disappointment, I realized how much I was allowing someone elseās behavior to do thisā¦JoinTeamConfessions!
This watering technique, taught to me by Monty Don, might be just the right hydration plan for strong and confident teenagers as wellā¦JoinTeamConfessions!
We covered a lot of things back in the spring with the summer plan, but I want to touch on some micro shifts that ended up creating HUGE returns.
I referred to this "oldie but goodie" when I was talking about house projects in this episode. That dashboard is one of those things I think about all the timeāplease have a listen if you have 2 minutes ;-)
Dashboard Lights - How to Tell When I Need a Parenting Break
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To maintain homeostasis in me, I have to be willing to experience both joy and painācould the same be true for creating and maintaining family homeostasis?
This is a link to the post that I reference in this episode: Itās That Time of Year Again - Letās Blame My Husband!
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As my kids got older, I started to abandon summer planning, but thatās where Iāve had it wrong. Here are 7 things I have to remember before anything on the calendar this summerā¦
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We already agreed that having too much on the horizon is numero uno summer no-no. However, while summer downtime is lovely, āAn idle mind is the devil's playground.ā And this is one easy way to keep the devil at bay with absolutely no pressureā¦
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As the last day of school quickly approaches, itās time to begin thinking about the summer plan. And, I donāt want to make the same mistake this year that I seem to make every single year.
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I have begun thinking about the incredible power that planning has played in my journey. It has occurred to me that everything I have, all that Iāve built, anything Iāve fixedāit all started with thisā¦
Slow is the New Fast - Learning How to Heed My Speed
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If the Ubuntu philosophy is, "The brighter you are, the bright I am, the brighter we all are," I have to do some serious shifting when it comes to how I respond to envious people.
Ubuntu, I Am because We are - The African Philosophy that Can Set Me Free
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Learning about Ubuntu was like being introduced to me philosophy soulmate. I could physically feel my heart growing in my chest. While I began to recognize the power of Ubuntu all around me, it wasn't until recently that I truly saw how I could actively practice it in my own life.
The Fear of Embracing My Blessings - What My Magical Thinking Could Do to My Family
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I have a genuine, self-diagnosed, fear of abundance. The way I manage this is by giving my problems more attention than they deserve so I can stay locked in the illusion that the Universe wonāt further punish me by hurting my family members. Sound familiar to anyone?
If you'd like to read more on this topic:
BLOG: Fear of Abundance - Whatās Stopping Me from Enjoying My Life?
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I can be like a tiger pacing in a cage with my thinking. One clear way I pace in a box is by focusing on all the things that are going wrong in my life rather than focusing on thisā¦
And some more about getting unstuckā¦
BLOG: A River Runs Through It - How I Get Myself Unstuck
PODCAST: A River Runs Through It - How I Get Myself Unstuck
And this, which has really been a golden nugget of recovery for meā¦
BLOG: If I Want Self-Confidence I Just Have to do THIS?
PODCAST: If I Want Self-Confidence I Just Have to do THIS?
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I've learned countless ways to pretend as a tool for becoming the person I want to be. Letās talk about how acting like a kid can make us feel more like an adultā¦
Apparently, I dig this topicā¦
BLOG: Fake It Till You Make It ā When Playing Pretend is the Best Option
PODCAST: Fake It Till You Make It ā When Playing Pretend is the Best Option
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Transitions and seasons can bring on extreme thoughts in my head, too. So when that voice revs up between my own two ears: Thereās no way I can possibly do this! I try to pivot and think about thisā¦
And a link to my inspiration for riding āThe Cycleāā¦
BLOG: Reacting - Getting Schooled by My Husband in Parenting 101
PODCAST: Reacting ā Getting Schooled by My Husband in Parenting 101
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Clinging to my stuff is just another delusional way I try to exercise control over my life and the things in it. But, itās plain to anyone looking that this is whatās REALLY going onā¦
More on sharing (I love the quote in this post)ā¦
BLOG: Are You Good At Sharing? You Must Be the Oldest
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Thereās nothing better than a trip up the scale to remind me to never ever let my appearance stop me from enjoying my life. And, I needed other people to teach me this very important lessonā¦
This is how I put it together that we learn from one anotherā¦
BLOG: Monkey See Monkey Do - If I donāt know what it looks like, I canāt do it.
PODCAST: Monkey See Monkey Do - If I donāt know what it looks like, I canāt do it.
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Whether itās a relationship, a job, or a parenting methodāfrom now on, I can stop seeing unsuccessful results as my fault and instead, do thisā¦
How I learned to get help with every problemā¦(Thank you Aunt Maureen!)
BLOG: Throw Money - The Solution To Almost Every Problem
PODCAST: Throw Money - The Solution To Almost Every Problem
When I vowed to never cookā¦(maybe this is how long my crappy ovenās been broken!)
BLOG: Crappy Mom List - 5 Things Iām Never Gonna Change
PODCAST: Crappy Mom List - 5 Things Iām Never Gonna Change
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It has taken me this long to discover a huge misconception Iāve had about my ambition. I used to define ambition the way society defines it. But, when I began looking at it this way, I uncovered a whole new approach to everything I doā¦
And, another look at Ambition:
BLOG: Ambition Came to Talk to Me and this Is What She Said
PODCAST: Ambition Came to Talk to Me and this Is What She Said
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For years, I thought my children's reactions had nothing to do with me. But I began to notice a pattern: every time I barrelled in, I got zapped by my childās response. Do I want this to keep doing the same thing over and over, or do I want a healthy relationship with my child?
And hereās more on honoring my kids inner knowingā¦
BLOG: The Art of Disappointment: It's Not You, It's Me
PODCAST: The Art of Disappointment: It's Not You, It's Me
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Keeping myself completely full at this time of year is likely unrealistic, but Iām happy to remember thisā¦
It must be something in the March air, I wrote this post in March tooā¦
BLOG: What to Remember when I've HAD IT with my Children
PODCAST: What to Remember when Iāve HAD IT with my Children
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When these 3 things are in balance, itās smooth sailing. And, if you take the time to do this exercise, you should have no problem saying ānoā to things in the future.
And if you need more support saying ānoā...
BLOG: Trying to Prove Myself
PODCAST: Trying to Prove Myself
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If youāre anything like me, you donāt even know when someoneās being passive aggressive. But, if you focus on these words, youāll know exactly when a manipulating ninja has snuck their way into your life.
If youād like to read or listen to more on this topic:
BLOG: Gaslighting Prices Are Rising
PODCAST: Gaslighting Prices Are Rising
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Itās comforting to know that my job in a relationship is to focus on speaking my truth not thisā¦
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If Iām having trouble letting go of my anger, it begs the question: What havenāt I forgiven myself?
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With a baby, we do our best to pay attention to what it truly needs, but are we doing the same thing for ourselves?
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My version of caring for someone used to be doing everything I thought they needed done. It wasnāt till I began listening to others that I learned thisā¦
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My children donāt have a chance on Godās green earth to be confident and self-assured if I'm always doing thisā¦
If you like this episode, here's more on voicing opinions:
BLOG: Fewer Opinions Equals More Happy
PODCAST: Ā Fewer Opinions Equals More Happy
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We all know the day never comes when no one needs us, BUT when we do this we discover there are so many other ways to navigate life.
If you think you could use more help with black-and-white thinking, check this post out:
BLOG: Switch to Dimmers
PODCAST: Switch to Dimmers
And, if you need more encouragement to take your time, this might help:
BLOG: Slow is the new fast
PODCAST: Slow is the new Fast
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Nearly every blog post Iāve ever written for Confessions of a Recovering Micromanaging Perfectionist Martyr can now be listened to on the most commonly used podcast hosting sitesā¦
After over eighteen years of parenting four children, these are the 12 most important things I've come to learn from our kidsā¦
That nagging voice that tells me I should break my own rulesāwhat if it isnāt evil, but the echo of a deep-rooted need trying to get my attention.
If I feel uncomfortable or unsafe because people arenāt being treated with kindness and respectāIāve simply gotta do thisā¦
Generation after generation, itās just lesson after lesson getting cut and pasted into new families. But, maybe itās time for thisā¦
Abuse in a relationship, anxiety, depression, addiction, poor self-careāthey can creep in over time and become very settled into everyday life. This is what I can do about itā¦
It turns out, taking time to do THIS is the perfect antidote to combat the negative scrutiny of both myself and others.
I struggle when I think advocating for myself might hurt someone elseās feelings, but after years of avoiding conflict and being gaslighted, itās time for a little of thisā¦
Iām constantly getting messages that I should do things differently from the people in my life, but am I really wrong? Not even closeā¦
Thereās a difference between getting what I deserve in a relationship, and always demanding more. Just like someTHING else, someONE else is simply never going to heal the emptiness inside of me. But this canā¦
There were many years there when I forced my will on the entire family without even realizing it. Then, I learned how to do thisā¦
Sometimes I assume someone needs my help before waiting for them to ask for it. When I do this, three issues pop upā¦
I spent many hours helping people I never really wanted to assist in the first place. When it came to having to look at my attitude around giving, there were questions I had to ask myselfā¦
If I make someoneās assertiveness about their tone, or how they go about getting their needs met, THIS can happenā¦
It turns out, I donāt have an issue with peace and quiet, my real issue is feeling like I need THIS before I can do what I want to doā¦
Those tears were welling up due to a vulnerability that I hold deep within me. Friends, this is what was making me to cryā¦
It used to be my understanding that if someone was a routined-person, you best not mess with their routine. Boy, did I need this lesson in my lifeā¦!
What if, instead of going in with hard intensity, I went in soft? What if I was gentle right from the beginning? Would that yield different results? Click to read moreā¦
This little negative voice pops in my brain and tries to convince me that Iām not strong enough, fast enough, or going hard enough. Really? I didnāt wake up at 5:30 am for this crap.
A lot of people give with strings attached. So many strings, Iāve choked on all those strings. But, I donāt have to live my life like thatā¦
Pointing out someoneās mistakes makes people feel bad. My being right is never more important than thisā¦
Iāve been compromising my pace in this relationship for this long simply because I didnāt understand what was going on.
Since I donāt have a clue, these women model what it looks like to take care of myself. They set an example of what it looks like to do this...
As I try to get honest about the chaos I create in my life, itās becoming clear that all these bright ideas complicate the you-know-what out of my life.
In a world where I almost always feel like I canāt go fast enough, maybe I just needed someone to tell me that itās ok for me to be slow. And now, I have a new lease on life.
What if the opposite were true? What if our kids are only as happy as their least happy parent? Then what happens?
Children and adults are constantly crumbling beneath the demands of life in 2021. This is what I can do to help everyone around me...
How to make life simpler by doing less. You donāt know how to do less? Neither did I, until I heard about this...
Tire of no one listening? Stop investing your energy into proving yourself and instead try this...
How to, āTap into the infinite organizing power of the universe to do less and accomplish everything.ā
If it werenāt for my husband and some other wise folks, Iād be a bonafide, full-fledged dream crusher. But instead, I can do this...
Years ago I used to take whatever was going on in my day out on other people. Now, when Iām extra ragey with my family, I can do thisā¦Ā
When it's difficult for me to stick to something, if I want to feel better about myself and have self-confidence, I have to this...
When I feel myself creating chaos in an attempt to simplify our lives, I can just do this...
Itās never too late to de-monster a friend or family member, you just have to do this...
If your 'to-do' list is causing you stress, try this quick 5 Step process so you can get back in control the projects, rather than the projects controlling you.
A sense of urgency might be a sign that I feel trapped, and this is something I can do about it.
If I stuff my emotions I can get to where Iām shoving them down so much that tears just leak out of my faceāor worse, they spill out as anger, or even rage.
Everyone in the family knows exactly what to do when weāre in Survival Modeālower the crap out of your expectations of Mom and Dad
What's an Empathy Keeper? I'll give you a hint, itās exhausting work that involves celebrating and comforting everyone around you.
No one in this house is made to feel guilty, or called āselfishā when they care for their own needs.
In my codependent relationship with technology, experts say I need to just admit Iām looking to my computer for my self-worth.
Whether itās my day, my vacation, my lifeāit doesn't matter, if I focus on the bad, Iām going to feel bad. And sometimes the only way to shake it is to do this...
Why is it that whenever one of my children is particularly kind and loving to me, I immediately assume theyāre up to something?
If I'm an adult with reading issues, knowing and understanding my limitations is one clear step towards not pretending like I can handle all of this.
What I can do about being in a perpetual state of overwhelm due to the fact that I simply cannot grasp and execute the technique of Good Enough.
Without knowing it, Iāve been fostering a safe invisible boundary that protects me from my childrenās choices, mistakes, and magnificence.
If I've given it due time and itās still not jiving, that means itās time to do this...
For thirty-five years I could not keep up a workout routine. That all shifted when I did this...
The one thing that every single person I know, including myself, wants for Christmas this year...
Santa, I'm going to need you to remind me this December that everything is exactly as itās supposed to be.
Is there a way to communicate Corona boundaries without offending anyone? Absolutely...
I thought the faster I moved mountains the more loveable I was, then I met people who suggested I hand over the keys to my backhoe...
CLINICAL DIAGNOSIS: I thought the reason I had, āLittle interest or pleasure doing things,ā was because the mom-things I have to do suckāboy was I wrong...
If I have to learn to speak by speaking, that means I also have to learn to change by changing.
If I claim to be open-minded, I have to be willing to open my mind to solutions I've previously rejected.
The magical thing that managed to hold me together this week after receiving the crushing news.
Instead of spending more time lamenting about the fact that we have no distance learning, I went back to an old tool thatās always worked for me.
Distance learning has been rough on us. How do we know if we're in a healthy routine when we're functioning in a world with no dependable structure?
Iām sorry, what? My four kids will only be in school TWO days a week this fall? Yeah. I'm gonna need a minute.
The single most meaningful spiritual practice thatās had an unimaginable impact on my life is not going to CHURCH, or PRAYER, or MEDITATIONāitās this.
My self-talk is not kind at ALL, but seeing how to shift my mind reminds me just how powerful those messages are that I fill my head with every day.
Let's stop being disappointed in someONE when we're really just disappointed in someTHING.
Over the past several weeks, my brain easily jumps to; We're not going to have enough! This is what I can do to feel better.
This drive to prosper during a pandemic led me to understand my relationship with Ambition in a whole new way.
When I share things with my sisters, they listen; they offer understanding, guidance, acceptance and love. And this is what happens for me...
Some days, life makes me feel as frustrated as a 3 year old. Maybe I can look to my toddler friends for some help with how to manage the stress of life.
Corona is asking me again and again: Can I observe and adapt to whatās best for everyone involved?
Though there are lots of amusing corona jokes about not getting out of your PJās, but I have to do this important thing every single morning.
Corona is giving us a chance to be the people weāve told ourselves weād be. You don't get a second chance to write the history on your heart.
This martyr cloak is so deeply woven into my fibers, but I convince myself itās a cape.
If you asked me if I thought we needed healing, I would have said, no. On the other hand, I've prayed that it would all just stop.
The more I force the deeper my hurt. Allowing life to emerge rather than digging it up.Ā
When it just feels like the toilet paper roll is always half empty, itās a clear sign that I need a āroutineā tune-up.
I thought that if I didn't have the strength to overthrow someone, I might as well not even try. But now I know this.
I can get so frustrated when I feel like someone I love is making choices that are leading them down an unhealthy path.Ā
When a family member makes me late, I can go from 0-60 in no time flat. This week I realized that my response looks a lot less like faithing and a lot more like shaming.
The Love of Honor: What laundry taught me about the most critical time to honor someone in a relationship.
Spending a majority of my time in the āJust deal with it kidā camp might mean I'm missing opportunities to teach my kids about what it means to honor someone.Ā
When I classify acts of love as selfish, they can easily get pushed to the side as unimportant.Ā
Fatigue affects every choice I make and everything I do, all I want for Christmas this year is to finally remember to do this.
Tis the season for opinions but, it was suggested to me that if I want to be happy, I could try to have less opinions.
I continually protect my time from becoming an Exhausted-Martyrdom-Resentment Party. This is how I keep my lists reaLISTic.Ā
I used to question myself when something in a relationship felt off. This small phrase has cleared up so much confusion.
When I'm overtired, I forget that my childrenās feelings only matter to me when they're serving their character.
My desire to be quicker has to do with the pressure I feel to keep up with a pace thatās not my ownālearning how to plan a life that aligns with a less painful pace.
I'm fully aware that I've traded in old chaos for new chaos, but what continues to amaze me is that at 44 years old, I still forget about my power of choice.
Becoming aware of blaming the person most responsible rather than blaming the most responsible person.
Staying on top of all of the dings and rings of life doesn't make me a better person or parent, but these two things will.
When my love is conditional for my family, does that mean itās also conditional for me?
I'm not planning on allowing myself to be treated like a party pinata by my cantankerous family. This is just a quick reminder of what I can do instead.
In a society filled with pressure to be the best we can be, here are a few things I suck at and refuse to improve.
When life puts all the new September changes in the mix, forget about going Back to School, how about going Back to Marriage?
I was becoming more and more overwhelmed with why mothering felt so difficult for me. Without even realizing it, what I was doing was trying to stuff our new family into an old pan.
If I'm using honesty as a brutal weapon, I not only risk hurting myself, that practice can also lead to projecting harsh āhonestyā onto others.
Now, I know my toilets arenāt going to clean themselves, but there are plenty of things I can let go of that will likely turn out just fine in the end.Ā
The difference between the good laugh and the bad laugh. Humor is a superpower, it can be used for good or for evil.
While I wouldn't recommend a trip to the Emergency Room, it was the perfect reminder of the other ER I need but rarely get.
If we're flawed as humans, then, we're actually doing exactly what we're supposed to when we misstep. I have news for youāyou ARE perfect.
What I didn't always understand is, very often, when someone doesn't show up it has nothing to do with their love for me, it simply means this...
Do you ever get sick and flipping tired of your family taking their crap out on you? 2 things I do when my kids are taking their anger out on me.
When something doesn't go as planned in a lacrosse game, this is how they get the focus back on their overall goal.
Learning about a different happiness. The happiness thatās available any second of any day.
Thereās no peace in ignoring truth. Thereās no peace in making life about the fight.
In the process of embracing my inner-ingredient, I learned a few very important lessons about being a different kind of baker.
I'm working on allowing other people to uphold their end of the bargain because picking up the slack for my kids often means everyone loses.
There was a time when I was the sole travel coordinator for our family. This is how I changed that.
When it comes to lifeās questions, I pick up the phone before I Google for information. And I get something Google will NEVER be able to give me.
Even though I'm around people every day, I'm noticing that I constantly rush away from my real people to tend to my virtual people.
Sometimes I get caught up in thinking that the task at hand is the work. My understanding though, is that the work isn't the workāthe work is really about this..
I don't ever feel like I'm somewhere I'm not supposed to be. I'm just trying to listen to the voice that tells me when itās time to leave.
Speaking kindly to my kids is really difficult for me. If I had my way, I would not only speak harshly, Iād also yell everything.
One of my favorite pastimes was letting my husband know he hurt my feelings. It never crossed my mind to consider extenuating circumstances.
For years, I honestly didn't recognize that, when it comes to some people, no matter what I do or how much I do, some people are never going to be happy.
If I love when someone is super understanding with me, and that kindness brings me overwhelming relief, why wouldn't I do that for others?
I saw everything as happening to me rather than for me. That perception kept me in victim-mode and kept me from experiencing the joy that surrounded me daily.
When my kids are difficult to love, love is likely the only thing that child needs from me. How I might be able to heal both of us in the process...
The slower the process is, the more likely it is to stick. No matter how much wisdom I gain from others, time has always been my most dependable and valuable teacher.Ā
3 ways I was taught to take care of myself, in case anyone else is also dumbfounded by the concept.
I was finally able to get in touch with the single thing that impacted my need to use a substance to evade my feelings.
Is my objective to be loving or to people please? What I have to ask Santa for to reconnect with my mission.
Defining whatās real about my fake Christmas - making sure my need for control isn't ruining the holiday spirit.
What to say to kids when they say things like, āI just don't buy that a gigantic bunny hops around the neighborhood handing out candy.ā
When one of my goals is to be kind, I just can't take the chance of meddling with my emotions like that on the scale so early in the day.
It bothers me when people make excuses for their kids. Looking at the difference between an excuse and an explanation.
I know intellectually that I don't want to constantly be in hustle-mode, but I find myself jumping into the next project the second I have a momentās rest.
Trading in my switches in for dials allows me to adjust my approach according to what will bring the most peace rather than the most chaos.
This month I've made a mindful decision to stop writing or saying āI'm sorry,ā when I get back to people.
Itās not that I don't like work, itās that I don't like having too much flippinā work for one person to accomplish.
If Iām always sending negative messages to myself and taking on too much, I'm going to end up exactly where I'm headed.
Just because Iām not getting my ideal result doesnāt necessarily mean I have to change what I'm doing as a parent.
Sometimes I marvel at how much my children argue with me, forgetting that I'm the very person who is fertilizing that crap. Why are they arguing with me?
Specific indulgences actually don't leave me feeling satisfied, gratified or in the least bit fulfilled. Redefining indulgence...
Did any of the children want to go to sleep-away camp? Absolutely not.
Did I let that influence me in the least? Not a chance.
If I'm finding myself saying, "Give me a (#$%&) break," it's time for me to give me a #$%& break. But what is MRT?
A new kind of calm down. Learning how to stop long enough to allow my heart to connect to my brain.
If we gave out awards at the end of the summer in our home, what awards would I be in the running for?
Getting honest about using the stress of our family life as an excuse to not pursue my own work and creation.
When I put too much energy into how unhappy something makes me, I forget to think about what changes I can make to be more at peace.
There are people who I get along with best when I have a deep connection to my inner peace. When I donāt, this is what I do.
My perspective can change in all sorts of ways in 24-hours. Itās a good reminder to allow life to unfold before making any major decisions.
I had myself convinced that I gave up nagging. Boy, was I wrong. One great way for me to keep my nagging in check.
I can get a whole lot of heartache out of my life if Iām just willing to spend a few bucks to get some help.
It's up to me to ignore or respect other people's sensitivities. At the end of the day, it just depends how much I want to accomplish.
Sometimes the best thing I can do for my family is to love my profession as a blogger and photographer.
So much stress has been relieved by acknowledging that, while my husband puts zero thought into things, I always put too much thought into everything.
Women already have it all figured out, all I have to do is seek out the right ones, and follow their example.
Mags Inc. It's not up to my husband or any one friend to be my everything. How I structure my support system to get all of my needs met.
Kiss It Perfection Shamers - I don't mind lowering standards, but if I have too much that I feel responsible for, I better be careful this doesn't happen.
Trying something new can be SO HARD for me. How facing my little fears can lead to facing the much bigger ones.
New year's resolutions - A new way to look back on the year I've just lived and fill myself with hope about the year ahead.
The BEST day of the entire year. This is a made-up holiday that will soon become one of your favorites too.
While my role as a mother requires me to do some regulating, my roles as a wife, family member and friend do not.
I feel like everything I read, watch, and hear in November and December is making my feel like a holiday failure. So, what am I going to do about it?
When a bunny and a Chromebook showed up at my house without my permission, this is what happened.
Yes, sometimes guilt pops up like an unwanted holiday visitor, but I'm done with guilt being my Global Positioning System, taking me to all the wrong places.
Being the best version of myself doesn't mean doing the big things in life. All of the REAL changes in my life came about by doing THIS.
If people are often lying to me, I need to look at MY part. Do I make it difficult for people in my life to tell me the truth?
Being the best version of myself doesn't mean doing the big things in life. All of the REAL changes in my life came about by doing THIS.
When it comes to being a mother, I like to think of myself like a body of water. If you don't respect meāI can take you down.
Finding a life partner who accepts me (rather than change me) has made all the difference in my life.
How I disconnect in order to get connected. Being present to those around me in a whole new way.
My brother's addiction killed him. But even though he's not here, he's still teaching me lessons about life.
Staying motivated to exercise is SO TOUGH, one thing that doesn't get in my way anymore.
The very important lesson I learned about relationships from watching football documentaries.
The balance between allowing myself to enjoy the rest of the summer while also taking time to prepare for what's next.
A lesson I very reluctantly had to learn from my husband when it came to reacting to our children.
How changing my re-entry after a vacation has saved me from a WHOLE LOT of added stress.
Summer travel with kids can kick up all of my control issues. What I have to remember when traveling with children in the summer.
When invitations come in and we begin making plans, these are questions I ask myself before ANYONE goes ANYWHERE.
Planning is hard, but it makes life easy. Not planning is easy, but it makes life hard.
Affection, Attention, and Appreciation. Knowing what we need is a huge part of caring for myself and others.