Note: This isn’t an intellectual paper written with the expectation that intellectuals will intellectualize my intellect and reduce said intellect into shards of insecurity and shame. It’s just my view and my experiences. You can take it or you can leave it, but your - or anyone else’s - attempts at invalidating me and my experiences isn’t a part of my process. That’s all yours.

I didn’t grow up in today’s Information Age. In fact, I grew up in rural New Mexico at a group home for “at-risk” children. My parents ran the place and I was just a staff kid who got in everyone’s way a lot. But I was observing and paying attention...always. When I was young, only boys were considered “at-risk” and, as such, I grew up at a boy’s ranch in rural New Mexico during the 70s and 80s. While I admit that it was a simpler time, I make no claim that the issues that I faced are to be easily dismissed as simple. I faced the same basic issues that kids face today, I just faced those issues without the internet, without “safe spaces”, without “gun free zones”, without political correctness, without warning labels on everything and without the fierce and ill-informed mob of internet “experts” and well-meaning  Christians hell bent on righting society’s wrongs and without social justice warriors cowardly labeling everything that they don’t like as something to be seen as awful. There was no “violent speech” or “political correctness” or “toxic masculinity”. We (society) made all of those up as a part of an agenda that doesn’t have the courage to do what all righteous agendas seem to do; honestly identify itself. This new agenda can best be described as the “woke” movement. “Woke” is yet another term that was born out of pop culture but every bit as fictitious as the other terms previously mentioned. As defined by Merriam-Webster – Woke: aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)

As I was growing up, men were expected to be proud providers and protectors. Men were also expected to be self-sufficient; especially emotionally. In addition, men were expected to be good at a lot of things and exceptional at one or two things. Men were expected to be, or at least appear to be, unafraid. Men were expected to express their emotions with acts of service and courage for their loved ones; particularly women and especially their spouse. Contrary to popular belief, I was not raised with the expectation of not talking about my feelings. I was just taught not to talk too much about love, fear and emotional pain. Thankfully, having 3 daughters forced me to evolve past that commitment to shield the world and those around me from my vulnerability.

Then along came “toxic masculinity”. This is another one of those made up, social justice terms with an origin that is less easily dismissed. Abusers, pedophiles, criminals, “alpha male dude bros”, malcontents, anti-socials and narcissists are all at the root of “toxic masculinity”. In reality though, these are such a limited and easily avoided part of the population that the term “toxic masculinity” had to be expanded and applied to anyone who isn’t, at worst, gender neutral and, at best, gender fluid. Eventually, the definition was simplified to just be a convenient label for those who aren’t “woke” Anyone who leans towards traditional masculinity or who is Christian or who admits that they, as Eric Church puts it, “Don’t like to fight, but ain’t scared to bleed” is labeled as being a purveyor of “toxic masculinity” and a barrier to society’s overall progress and success. Those boys and men who aren’t hyperaware and actively attentive to important issues; particularly those issues related to social justice; are the prolific and oft vilified examples used to prove the existence of toxic masculinity. Sadly, abusers, pedophiles, criminals, “alpha male dude bros”, malcontents, anti-socials and narcissists have had the spotlight taken from their tox...