5 Headlines/Facts about Eric Gruosso, by Eric Gruosso: 

Bald, Chubby, Yet Still Somehow Slightly Handsome

Perfect Balance of Extreme Health and Self-Destructive Behavior

Self-Deprecating, Overbearingly Sarcastic, Politically Incorrect, Loves Pushing Boundaries with Raunchy Humor

Great Father, Decent Husband, Slight Underachiever Based on Huge Potential

Former Pothead Who Now Can't Take a Hit Without Calling an Ambulance