Psalm 61:2 NLT

'From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed.'

How often do you cry? I cry more than I’m comfortable with and far more than when I was young. I learned to cry through personal tragedy. Tears have come so much more easily subsequently. I’m relatively robust and generally regarded as cheerful. I’m positive and have a ‘can do’ attitude. Yet, there are seasons when life overwhelms me, my heart flags, I physically shrink and tears flow.

I find these times tough to manage my walk of faith. I panic within, blind to the reality and presence of God, while confronted with my apparent inability to overcome my present and future circumstances. My biggest hurdle revolves around fear. Normally under control, it can still ambush and paralyse me. It takes a monumental effort to call out to God with any form of conviction and to press forward with the confidence that God won’t fail me.

Having reached the glorious age of 65, my mum, among others, raises the “retirement” word with me. This opens a fissure of fear around my finances, I question my life choices of entrusting my welfare to God. My heart flags to find the energy to keep going, keep generating earning opportunities, keep listening to God. Each time I make an attempt to take control of my finances I end up losing money or if not failing, my fellow partners no longer require my services.

I’ve no great solution except to say I call out to God. I regroup around my faith, my choice to lean on him and find the courage and confidence to press forward. I return to prayer and fear subsides, although I’ve not beaten it into total submission.

When does your heart flag? The good news: God is as present in your tears as in your laughter. God also knows you face good times and bad. God’s promise is sure. Learning to live in it when life’s falling apart is the challenge.

QUESTION: What things overwhelm you?

PRAYER: I still struggle and have more to learn in discovering how to live with my human frailty even as I search after the fullness of life you offer me. Dear Father, lift me up in your strong and everlasting arms today.