Psalm 102:7-8 NLT

I lie awake, lonely as a solitary bird on the roof. My enemies taunt me day after day. They mock and curse me.

In recent years I’ve lain awake in the middle of the night more often. Sometimes there is an issue that worries me, especially when there are too many days in the month for my money. I’ve tried to not store up treasures on earth as Jesus taught (see Matthew 6:19-21), but for me at least, the consequences have sometimes been sleepless worry. I perceive these “night terrors” as the assault of the powers of darkness to break my resolve in pursuing Christ. In Christian terms they are a means to develop my resilience.

Hence, inner voices taunt me with my material failure. They berate me for failing to take proper care of my family, eat away at my personal self-esteem and can leave me exhausted. But this is the nature of warfare; discomforting, demanding and dangerous. Some people have domesticated the gospel so that it threatens no one and demands very little of us. Jesus declared it would demand everything of every one of its disciples (see Matthew 16:24-25).

As I sit with my daughter and chat through the decisions I’ve made through life, my heart for people and service is clear, my inability to provide financial security equally so. Yet, I now relish in the “taunts and curses” of my enemies for I have no other choice but to trust in God, even as I lie awake in the early hours. I do not fret, I pray, and as I pray I experience an overwhelming sense of God’s reality and presence, which takes none of the anxiety away which my mortal being carries, yet nourishes my soul to a degree I have no words to describe.

QUESTION: What worries cause you sleepless nights or anxiety?

PRAYER: I commit myself and my worries into your gracious care; come close to me again, Lord God. Please give me fresh strength and peace for this day.