Psalm 73:21-22 NLT

Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant – I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.

My life stagnated for a period as I refused to accept my difficult lot in life. I ran full tilt into a roadblock around which there was no detour. God failed to answer my prayers for deliverance from unwelcome and uninvited circumstances. I was thrashing around in anger and pain, hoping I wouldn’t drown. I was incapable of seeing that I was embittered, striking out at others, including God. It just seemed unfair. I compared myself with the experiences of those around me and felt hard done by.

In my anguish, I turned in upon myself. Like a cornered creature, I went into fighting mode; everyone was my potential enemy. I was fighting to hold on to rationality, even sanity itself. Only slowly, as the situation endured and I found some space to gain a measure of perspective, did I recognise that I had turned my back on God and my friends.

As I came to my senses, I looked on my attitude and behaviour with alarm. Here was I, in need of encouragement and advice, yet I was driving people from me and denying God access to my heart and my home. With all my thrashing about, I’d demolished many of the frameworks God had set in place for my benefit. Now it was time to attempt to rebuild. I felt weakened in my faith, uncertain if I would endure this walk of faith, unsure of God’s presence and faithfulness. Setting such doubts to one side, while acknowledging their existence, I returned to God, in desperate need of a fresh perspective that reflected God’s heart and purpose.

QUESTION: As you look back in time, can you perceive ways God broke in when you were in distress?

PRAYER: Lord of all hope, remind me of your faithfulness to me; refresh my faith and confidence in your word and your character.