Psalm 15:3 NLT

'Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbours or speak evil of their friends.'

The tongue is the most challenging piece of our anatomy to control (James 3:2-12). Small it may be, yet its influence is profound. This is true when speaking to ourselves as much as when we speak to others. For how I address myself influences my mood and my self-esteem.

When growing up I carried responsibility for the washing-up. Sometimes I dropped items that shattered on our tiled kitchen floor. This earned me the reputation of ‘clumsy’ from my mum. I subsequently became anxious about taking responsibility for breakable items, often excusing myself on the grounds of clumsiness. I took my mother’s description and allowed it to shape my life.

I’ve worked with many individuals in a coaching capacity for whom the only barriers to further success is in tearing down the walls of other people’s judgements that they have accepted as real. God consistently affirms us and encourages us to express ourselves, yet we commonly live within the narrow confines created by the opinions of others from teachers, through employers to peers.

We are perhaps more familiar with the destructive nature of gossip. This is deliberately bad-mouthing someone else in private. If I’m naming a fault, I fail to tell the only person who might do something useful with that information, namely the subject of my gossip. I may even wish them harm. I’ve yet to understand this nasty streak within me, that while dormant most of the time can spring to life with a venom that shocks me. The aftermath of spiteful gossip can leave me despising myself, so removing me further from God’s presence of grace and love.

The route to controlling the tongue is, as the psalmist reminds us, a matter of personal choice because my behaviour lies largely within my own hands, with God’s full support.

QUESTION: How often do you speak ill of others or find yourself sharing in gossip?

PRAYER: Lord, grow self-control within me and help me choose my words well with love, mercy and grace.