Micah 7:7 NLT

'As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me.'

Growing up, Mum equipped me for independence. She taught me to cook and how to navigate public transport. Living on the edge of London, this gave me access to a wide range of activities. I also had my bike and happily rode off for whole days in the countryside on my own. This independence gave me a lot of self-confidence. It also carried a shadow, as I became self-reliant, assuming I could always sort out my own problems. Many years on, I discovered that looking to God for help was not instinctive. I only called out when I’d run out of both ideas and resources. My cry was one of frustrated desperation rather than a warm invitation to work with God for a successful outcome.

My confidence was, and often still is, in my own ability. I have little experience of working with others for an outcome, and instinctively assume it’s my responsibility alone to resolve problems. I still clean, cook, garden, work etc. My time is full, and it’s taken some hard work to find the faith that God is indeed the one who listens and works with me for a practical outcome. I also find it difficult when God’s outcome doesn’t match with my own imagined one. I wrestle with God and want to persuade him to facilitate my life according to my own internal blueprint.

Looking to God for help is the result of practice. Over time I’ve learned to manage such behaviours and acknowledge the inner turmoil and turn my attention towards God.

QUESTION: Do you turn to the Lord for help at an early or late stage?

PRAYER: Lord, help me not to see you as simply an emergency service, but as a good presence in all my life.