Philippians 2:3-4 NLT

'Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.'

When does taking care of yourself become selfishness? The time I go to bed, the amount of socialising, the number of responsibilities I can accept in church or regarding my hobbies have limitations. If I go beyond these I grow tired, stressed and cannot function well. This is bad for me and for others. It’s only as I take care of myself and establish how I function best that I have anything useful to bring to others. I do not serve the interests of other people when living from the dregs of my own energy.

I took time to learn this lesson for I had an inner default setting about pleasing others. This meant I didn’t speak up for my own interests, and after a while became submerged in serving the interests of others. I was selfish in this as well in that I imagined in pleasing them I would advance to where I wanted to get to.

Slowly I worked out that where I was in life, job-wise and even relationally, was not where I wanted to be. There was an inner tension – stress, I guess – as I went to work. This was unhealthy. I put on weight, a sure sign I was unhappy within, even if I didn’t know it.

The trap for each of us lies in our inner motivation. I ask myself the question “Why” I am feeling something or am moved to do something. This helps clarify if I am reacting under duress, a ‘should’, or if indeed I am responding to the clear invitation of the Spirit. This is still subject to error, but a healthy starting point to reflect upon my motives and the way I truly feel.

QUESTION: How is the balance in your life between looking to your interests or the interests of others?

PRAYER: Lord, help me not to be selfish but to have a heart of service.