Fair warning: this one may be a bit controversial! And could even be triggering if you've been traumatized by gaslighting or emotional abuse.

Today we are rethinking Gaslighting.

This concept has spread like wildfire in the past few years, even being named the Word of the Year for 2022. You may have noticed it cropping up in conversations with friends and family, or in the media.

In today's episode, I'll start with the basics: what gaslighting is, where the term originated, and how it can be a hallmark of emotional abuse and narcissism.

Then we'll explore how the term also gets applied to many situations which are not so clearly abusive, and why that can lead to blame, shame, and relationship problems.

Finally, I'll discuss how taking a more thoughtful approach can help:

Step 1 - Get clear about what we really mean. When we think "You're gaslighting me," what we often really mean is: "I feel like I'm being gaslighted." (ie "I feel I'm being invalidated." or "I feel my reality is being questioned.").

Step 2 - Dig a little deeper. Get skeptical. Ask whether we are certain that:

• The situation is objective & verifiable
• The person is aware of what they are doing, and
• The person has malicious intent to control, manipulate, take advantage

Next week, we'll explore more about how to put this into practice.
Links in this episode:https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gaslightinghttps://www.simplypsychology.org/origin-of-the-term-gaslighting.htmlhttps://robinstern.com/the-gaslight-effect/https://momastery.com/blog/we-can-do-hard-things-ep-202/ (Robin Stern Podcast Interview)How to Spot ‘Medical Gaslighting’ and What to Do About It. - The New York Times(paywall)

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Everything on this podcast and website is for informational purposes only and should not be used as medical advice. Views are our own, and do not necessarily represent those of our past or present employers or colleagues.