Round Trip with Wendy McGean: Recent Episodes
Wendy McGean
My biggest win from the last 12 weeks is definitely found in the fact that I feel more present and more intentional as I move through my days. I catch myself about to say yes to something that I don’t want to do. And find myself saying no as a reflex only to reconsider upon reflection. And I find myself a little sad about things that I cannot fit in that I really want to. I cannot do everything and I am choosing to make those choices with my heart and not my head.
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Both The Artist’s Way and It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again conclude Week 12 with the topic of Faith.
As a coach, I believe that all people are complete and whole and capable of acting on their own behalf. That we all know, on some level, what to do and what choices to make. And, at some point during the last 11 weeks, it has been reaffirmed that things just seem to work out – I now have tremendous faith in that. Joseph Campbell is quoted as having said “Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before.” Sounds like synchronicity to me.
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I am very excited about this week’s topics – Adventure and Autonomy - and just finishing a long overdue adventure – 5 days off to visit friends. Julia Cameron often speaks of synchronicity in her pages. This trip was planned months ago and how interesting is it that it coincides with this week’s topics. Both speak to breaking day to day habits and getting out of our comfort zones. When we seek to discover what we don’t know we don’t know – well – that’s where creativity lives!
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Self-protection is an interesting topic and, for me, it relates back to last week’s topic of motion. I have frequently kept myself busy to avoid doing something – I fall squarely in the workaholic camp or least I did in my past life.
And vitality – wow. I can only say that the way that I live my life now means that I have more energy for the things that I love than I have it 20 years. It amazing how living in alignment with my own core values has freed my to just be. And that contentment is not at all exhausting.
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Week 9 – we’re ¾ of the way through this program. I started a new notebook which shows how much I have written to date and the plan is to spend the week thinking about motion and compassion in my own life. What projects and activities need me to take specific actions? And then, showing myself some Love over not doing any of that up until now.
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With joy we are open to new experiences and new possibilities. And really – if happiness is not one of our goals – what on earth are we doing? If there is no joy in your day, perhaps it’s time to look for it – seek out ways to bring it to the surface. We can find whatever we are open to discovering.
The strength that she speaks of is really the effort required to begin creating after, often years after, you’ve been told that you cannot write or paint or sing or whatever. It is strength to ignore the inner critic and the often noisier external ones.
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At issue with connection is the right attitude to create. For me it’s about mindset. The topic is framed differently this time as I read about Perfectionism (basically a refusal to let myself move ahead) and Jealousy (which is typically a mask for fear).
According to the American Psychological Association it “resilience the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands
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Often, when we approach some new challenge or goal, we consider, and are sometimes sabotaged by, thoughts of “I’m too old”, “I don’t have enough time”, “I don’t have the skills”, I don’t have the capital… inventing any number of obstacles that prove that we are simply not enough or do not have enough.
Humility - This for me is the courage to suck at something new! Seriously – I have been motivated to try so many new things over the last 5 years. Previously I spent my life thinking that I needed to bring answers and not admit when I did not know something. I was so closed off from the spontaneity and joy of life that I did not know how to recognize it.
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This week’s topics are Honesty and Possibility. Getting honest is not always easy. For me, the world is full of possibility.
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Finding your purpose can take a little time. Consider what you love and what is important to you. Imagine your best possible self and think about that you are grateful for. I think that core values exercises are a great place to start. Integrity, for me, is living in alignment with my core values.
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Connection was the week 3 topic in “It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again”. There are so many good memories from the thing that I’ve done in my life so far and, even with all of that, I had a period of time in my life where I had lost my connection to myself.
Disconnection is common as we often live our lives on auto-pilot. Self-awareness is a great first step to reverse the slide.
From the Artist’s Way – the focus was on Power. Our own personal power. I like to define that as our ability to act on our own behalf. It’s an attitude or a state of mind – just like connection. And we all can make the choice to cultivate that personal power on our own.
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“Trusting our creativity is a new behaviour for many of us” says Julia Cameron as Week 2 kicks off in the artist’s way. For me, I had let any intentional form of creativity lapse for years. I have a good supply of canvases and wood, brushes and paints and I can always use more. I learned to paint in my 20s and picked up the brushes sporadically over the years. The urge to paint and then the practice lay dormant for more than a decade. There was always something else to do.
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The topic this week in It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again is “Re-igniting a Sense of Wonder” Socrates said that Wonder is the Beginning of Wisdom. If you are following along with the Artist’s Way book, your theme is “Recovering a Sense of Safety”.
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I will begin working through the Artist's Way program this week.
My goal is to work through the program and offer a chronicle to my listeners about what I am uncovering about myself through this exercise. And for fun, I’m inviting you to work alongside me if you like. I will hold space through a 30-minute Zoom call once per week starting Monday, January 8th at 7pm Eastern. The purpose of this call is not for you to come and discuss what you have written or created, although you are welcomed to, but rather as an opportunity for accountability both for myself and you. Life gets busy and it’s not always possible to complete everything that we wanted in a given week. You can join me even if it’s to say – that was tough – I only did one day of morning pages this week and the wheels came off!
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We live in a world where we have a tendency to reduce people down to the lowest common denominator –we glean something about a person and then we make assumptions about the whole person. It’s how our brains work - we categorize and file away that person “a” is like this and person “b” is that. Think political affiliations, career choices, wealth or poverty or almost any attribute. I was listening to a reel on Instagram the other day and a psychologist– I forget who - was talking about identity. She noted how this summarizing and categorizing is really a narrowing of identity – we stick people in figurative Rubbermade boxes so that we can remember how to respond to them or understand or judge them. But can a person really be defined by a few attributes?
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As I navigate changes in my own life, I get curious about when big feelings overwhelm me. This weekend, I was walking my 15-month chocolate lab with my husband. The dog, still really a high energy puppy is a handful. I’ve gone through one round of training with him and there is still much work to be done.
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Last week, I spoke of the need to have a couple of crucial conversations of my own. There is one in particular that is long overdue with a family member. I have vacillated between clearing the air and being irritated by the fact that I cannot think of any specific crime that I could have committed to have this person basically ignore me. I went from complete heartbreak and confusion to anger and indifference. None of those things have made the situation any better. The needle has not moved. So where to begin?
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I’m re-reading a book called “Crucial Conversations”. It’s co-written by a group of 5. The basic idea is that a conversation can be dubbed crucial when 3 things are present: 1) there is a difference of opinion, 2) the stakes are high and 3) emotions are high. The real reason that they are crucial is that they can have a significant impact on our relationships or results. I’m quite sure that all of us can think of any number of such conversations in our own lives. Think beginning or ending relationships, addressing offensive comments or prejudice, or feeling as if we are not heard in a relationship - personal or business.
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I once saw a thought provoking definition of fear as an acronym False Evidence Appearing Real. Now if you’re on a hike and it’s bear - fear is an appropriate catalyst to do something. How often however do we fear some event or outcome that never manifests? And what does that fear do to us? In my experience, it shuts me down, I contract and become a little less than I was. Fear is a powerful motivator and perhaps a more powerful deterrent.
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A is for Act. I spent a life time wondering if I should do the thing, how should I do the thing, why should I do the thing instead of just doing the damn thing – whatever the thing is! Which is probably why I occasionally simply jump in with both feet without considering much of anything. In those moments, I’ve been called impulsive and I think that it was meant as a word of caution. But you know, we can only ruminate for so long. Life is meant to be lived and I now prefer to colour outside the lines.
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One of the things that took meyears to truly understand was that it is impossible to “love” myself when I amexternally referencing. You know, when we compare ourselves in every way shapeor form to what we’ve come to believe we should or have to be. Only to find –that we NEVER measure up – the playing field keeps changing and we flit off inanother direction of self-improvement so that we can feel good about ourselves.
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I learned a new word this week -liminality – and I love it! It’s a special word for uncomfortable lifetransitions and I came across it as I finished reading Arthur C Brooks book (thatsounds like a tongue twister) Anyway, it’s called “From Strength to Strength” andit talks about high achievers transitioning to the second half of life. He says that it “means the time between workroles, organizations, career paths and relationship stages.” That time between – when you feel stuck orunsure of what comes next. Sound familiar?
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One of the first things that I do with newcoachees is talk about self-awareness surrounding their core values. We tend tolive our lives on auto-pilot and some of our activities may not reflect what istruly important to us. We habitually think the same thoughts and do the samethings. And we don’t even realize that we do! Think about waking in themorning- 71% of us grab our smart phones as soon as we wake up. What do youcheck?
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People seek out coaches for allsorts of reasons. Some want to excel atwork, others want to build or repair relationships with the important people intheir lives and others want to reach a specific goal like writing a book orlosing weight. What they all have in common is a desire to change something. Thestrength of the desire is something that is explored when I first meet with a client.Sometimes it is an overwhelming yearning and other times there is a faintwhisper from within that simply will not go away.
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Our body & mind craves homeostasisand attempting to change habits, beliefs or anything else requires us to gothrough a period of discomfort when we mindfully learn to make new choices likeregular reading to learn or going to the gym. According to Psychology Today, changecan be made more difficult by changing too many things at once or seeing thatone change prompts a multitude of other changes making the whole process toocomplex. And sometimes the status quo is just too comfortable.
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Although summer in not quite over,it’s already been a roller coaster of activity and challenges to my beliefs,values and attitudes. June saw me check off a significant milestone in my personaljourney. I am now living with my husband (again) after more than a five year break.In my book, I spoke about leaving because I didn’t feel as if I belongedanymore. I no longer knew who I was and that will continue to evolve as Ichallenge myself to live a meaningful life on a daily basis. It feels good tobe here.
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There is often an excitement that emanates from me when I delve into something that I’ve not done before. I’mthinking of that tandem sky-dive a few years ago or taking early retirement at 55. There is also a terror and sometimes they feel the same.
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I believe that each and every one of us has the ability to make our own kind of magic. That thing that happens when you align with who you truly are and live it on a day to day basis. Some people would call it an alignment with core values – I call it magic.
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When is that last time that you had some time free up? How did you react? With annoyance or joy? If it was the former, what new roles or responsibilities have you adopted over the last little while that is having an impact on how you show up each day?
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The past week has been a tough one. I found myself unable to get out of my own way. My mind was filled with a handful of projects that I am working without having fine-tuned the goals. I was starting to get a “what’s the use?” vibe – why am I doing these things?
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I’ve been away from the microphone for a couple of weeks – off to Nova Scotia to visit my mother- a road trip with the new puppy to visit family. It was an emotional and challenging trip as I continue to witness my mother’s journey into aging. And it seems as if suddenly everyone I talk to is going through some version of this.
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I want to do everything of interest that presents. There’s nothing wrong with that – although I seem to be challenged to remind myself that I cannot do it all at the same time. And the more than I take on, the more my efforts are diluted for those projects that are really important to me. Time and energy dissipate before the goals are met.
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I’ve just had an interesting couple of days of low activity and Netflix - mostly. It’s been a long time since I so thoroughly enjoyed an unexpected break – I’m heading into the coming week with more energy and some innovative ideas for what I will decide to focus upon.
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Ever notice that it’s easy to stay present when we are doing something that we enjoy? It’s a little harder to stay present when working tasks that I would rather not be doing.
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It’s one of those emotions that bubbles up when our needs are not being met. Maybe “bubbles up” is too gentle a description – spews or erupts might be more apt. Something is out of whack and I usually don’t take a lot of time to consider what’s behind it. However, I had an epiphany last week as my puppy drew blood for, what seemed like, the millionth time.
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I have lived that it is possible to make changes in my own life – moving from automatic pilot to creating each day with intention. And it is not necessary to throw out the baby with the bath water.
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There is much to be thankful for in my little world.
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It’s been a humbling couple of weeks as I start over with a new puppy and realize that I need 8 arms and an extra set of eyes in the back of my head. And maybe a suit of armour.
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I wasn’t sure that I would ever have another dog – Reeses was irreplaceable.
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I love metaphors – the different ways that we use language to enhance a story or description that shed light on the meaning sought. And metaphors appear to us in more ways than language – sometimes we live them – we need only notice. And sometimes they offer some clues for self-coaching.
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Noise is everywhere. At every turn someone is trying to convince us to do something or buy something or believe something. That does not mean that it’s good or bad. However, it is important to be aware of that dynamic and, for me, to question what and how I am thinking before I make choices.
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In The Artist's Way (Julia Cameron), the topic of identify is front and center. In fact, it is presented as recovering a sense of identity. Who am I? Who are you? Think about that for a moment. We are not our thoughts, we are not our beliefs and attitudes and we are not our jobs or our routines or the roles that we play. Those are just things that we do. Who are we, who do we choose to be from moment to moment?
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Do you feel safe to be yourself? I’m not talking about physical safety but rather a knowing deep inside that tells you that you are free to be you – that you won’t be hurt, embarrassed, ashamed or admonished by expressing yourself in your life. Do you feel confident that you, even if the people around you do not agree with whatever you are saying or doing, are still free to express yourself?
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Have you ever wished that you were a fly on the wall for some conversation or event. Something that you wanted to observe – oftentimes because you knew that you really shouldn’t be in that conversation but you are curious. The fly on the wall does not engage but observes – like watching a movie with no role to play in the scene.
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I think that not listening is often a symptom of not being present. I’ve recently re-started a meditation practice and I can see the benefits already – one of which is listening better. It’s great training for staying in the moment and recognizing the stimuli all around us – sights, sounds, temperature, smells. I’m continuing on my life long trek to stay in the moment and maybe getting a little better at it.
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You know those times in your life when you feel lit up – completely alive and firing on all cylinders? When you feel as if you are exactly where and when you should be and doing exactly what you were meant to do?
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I was reminded this week that we can have a ripple effect on people even when we are not consciously aware of it. Have you ever stopped to think about how your very presence can have an impact on people that you come across in your day?
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Personal growth implies changing things about yourself, whereas personal evolution implies radically accepting who you are and allowing changes to occur naturally.
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I’m writing this on April 7th, 2022 – what would have been my dad’s 89th birthday. In the 5 years since Simon McGean retired his earthly body, a lot has changed in my life and in the world. But I can’t help but think how much changed in his lifetime.
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Beauty is defined, in the Meriam Webster dictionary as “the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit : LOVELINESS”
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For years, I thought that meditation was sitting in a lotus position and repeating a mantra. Not my favourite way to sit as my legs are not that flexible – I’m not good at imitating a pretzel although yoga does help with the flexibility. I’ve hung in there and completed a couple of Deepak Chopra’s 21 Day Free Meditations a few years ago. And bailed on more than a few. The best advice that I remember from those was to sit comfortably with my eyes closed and follow a rhythm of deep breathing and a mantra.
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Almost everywhere I turn my attention lately, I see a reference to Connection. Blog posts, Ted talks and even listening to people at work. Connection is a big deal but what is it and what is so important about it?
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It brought to mind an illustration that I first saw in Louise LeBrun’s book “Fully Alive”. She presents a diagram of a circle and asks the reader to imagine that this object represents the domain of all knowledge. So “that means everything that you now know, everything you have ever known and anything that you could ever possibly know in the future, are all contained within this circle.” That’s a lot of stuff.
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I believe that we make our own luck to an extent. When we are prepared with the right skills, temperament, geography and any number of other attributes, the perfect opportunity often makes its’ appearance. The operative word is “Preparation”.
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Indeed.com defines Core values as “personal ethics or ideals that guide you when making decisions, building relationships and solving problems. “ Values are not nominalizations – words like family and money. Rather, we are looking for the underlying significance that those things elicit. So family is not a core value but perhaps “connection” or “a sense of belonging” are the meanings that the person is striving to identify.
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But this particular chapter of my life and all that it represents was so important to me that I could not stop thinking about how some of my message might be useful to others. Telling that story has deep meaning for me. There was always a vision and that made this particular goal worth setting. Once the end goal was set – the lighthouse if you will, more smaller supporting goals followed that would help me get to where I wanted to go.
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Since it’s Valentine’s Day – its seems like an opportune time to talk about love – which comes in many forms.
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This is a huge shift for me as I always had to be right. I try to make sense out of my world with the information that I have as of this minute. In the next, I may know something new that inspires me to change my opinion or my actions. And that information may take longer for me to absorb and incorporate into my decision making process than others. I’m a work in progress – as are all of us.
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In the last few years I’ve noticed something about myself. Promises or goals to benefit other people almost always get completed. And when I set one of those goals for myself in conversation with someone who witnesses my promise to myself and how I plan to go about it, there is an overwhelming chance that the particular goal will be accomplished.
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"Love change, fear staying the same." Maxime Lagacé We live in such a twilight zone kind of world right now where almost nothing feels familiar – everything is changing and it’s happening more rapidly than what used to seem normal. It’s a tough reality to navigate.
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I’ve been preoccupied as of late with the concept of creativity or creation. I love to paint and now write although I am never certain of the value of what I am putting out there.
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And just like that I was home. I travelled across a good chunk of Canada again and loved every minute of it. I love Canada but we are not without our problems.
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Driving from Thunder Bay, Nipigon, Terrace Bay, White River and Wawa
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I’ve mentioned before that I love water, rocks and trees – there is something incredible calming about being out in the natural world – even when you can hear the traffic rolling by. On this particular night, I decided to try what legions of travellers do – camp in a Walmart parking lot.
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A quick drive through Manitoba and a visit to the Center of Canada.
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I’m taking a break from the trip across Canada to reflect a little on how much my life has changed over the past few years.
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Sept 4th, 2021. Travelling through Saskatchewan on a bright & sunny late summer day.
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I love an adventure and the chance to let one unfold. What can you explore in your world this week?
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During my walk, I found a spot with placards describing some of Calgary’s history. The settlement became the City of Calgary in 1894. At that time, it was still part of the Northwest Territories. A small oil industry born when oil was discovered in the Turner Valley in 1914 grew considerably after a larger discovery in Leduc in 1947. The population quadrupled from 1947 to 1970 to reach 400,000. It’s tripled in the last 50 years and is still home to the Canadian Head Offices of major oil companies.
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As someone who loves to pack something into every moment, I realized again the importance of making space to be present in a conversation without playing solitaire on my phone, checking emails or any number of any things at the same time. I read a question last week somewhere as I scanned my environment. It said “Are you addicted to stress?” And one of the clues was to be constantly playing on your phone. Oops – really – is that me? I left behind a world of cramming things in and some of those habits remain.
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Today is October 4th – I returned home from my cross country trip exactly two years ago today. I am extremely grateful for the life that I live and for what I’ve learned and accomplished in the past two years. I am so much more than two years older.
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Travelling along Lake Superior is a special drive for me. In 2019, it’s where I saw an eagle take flight and sail along for a few seconds at helmet height. It’s also the section that saw me log over 700 kms in one day on Bullwinkle between Thunder Bay and Sault Ste Marie. On this trip, it gave me a chance to get to know the area a little better.
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We were in the Algoma District which covers an area encompassing land that borders the western part of Lake Huron and the Eastern shores of Lake Superior. Towns such as Blind River, Thessalon, Bruce Mines, Sault Saint Marie and north up past Wawa are included. There are almost 40 Provincial Parks and Conservation Areas included in the district.
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As August came to a close, I jumped on the opportunity to drive across a good part of Canada, in a car this time, to help a friend move across country. I was keeping a promise and, simultaneously, given a chance to revisit some of the places that I saw for the first time almost exactly two years ago. My love affair with Canada goes on.
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June is National Indigenous History Month and it’s wrapping up. This is a reminder for all Canadians - Indigenous, non-Indigenous and newcomers - to reflect upon and learn the history, heritage and diversity of First Nations, Inuit and Metis people.
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When you can trust yourself, it changes the way that you approach the world. And then anything can happen – you open up to endless possibilities.
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Some quick updates and a request for feedback.
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Do you feel like you have no right to put yourself first? Are you struggling and feel powerless to make changes? Say something – talk to someone -get it out – stop holding your hand over your own mouth. You’re not alone.
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Finding errors in my published book! Argh!!! (I'll refund you 50% of what you paid for the book if you find any new ones.)
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On Thursday, I thought “enough is enough” and peeled the cover off the bike, stuffed it in the frunk and started him up (yes – Bullwinkle is a he”). What a glorious sound – the purr of the engine – despite the extended rest, the battery responded as it’s supposed to.
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I’ve been on the receiving end of some interesting questions in the past few weeks and wanted to take a moment to answer some of those FAQ.
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I talk a little about being directionally challenged when I travel – going so far as to say that it’s a miracle that I was successful in navigating from one end of the country to the other without getting seriously lost. I have a track record. The bigger metaphor is about changing direction in life.
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There was a distinct lack of motivation in my actions over the past few weeks that was starting to disturb me. I couldn’t seem to move forward on a few new things that need attention and was I feeling a lot of anxiety – kind of beating myself up for not accomplishing things that I had no drive to even look at. I was stuck.
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I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I love to plan stuff. It was rare for me to act on anything until I had rolled the various options around in my head and scrutinized each detail to consider various outcomes and scenarios. And then – to put it down on paper and translate it into a Gantt chart or an Excel spreadsheet and I was a happy camper.
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My book has been released! "Round Trip: How I Found Myself on Three Wheels" is available to order and I would like to send a very heart felt thank you to everyone who has bought it and sent congratulations. I appreciate it so much.
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It took years to realize that “an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure”. I’ve been operating above my threshold again – sometimes I forget.
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I've finished my book "Round Trip: How I Found Myself on Three Wheels" and now it's time to get it out there.
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I am more and more disturbed on a daily basis by the polarized views that I see on almost any topic.
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I had the pleasure this past week of spending time in the company of some pretty incredible women. We came together in a Zoom meeting room to share and become more of ourselves.
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I’m the type of person that can focus on a task and block everything else out. Sometimes I don't see things that are right of my eyes.
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This past week, my 70ish lb chocolate Labrador Retriever turned 13.5.
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I‘ve read that Charles Darwin thought that humans had two competing instincts: self-preservation and the impulse to help. I want to chat mostly about the incredible power of helping others today.
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Have you ever watched a tv show or a movie where there was a delay between the audio and the video. The words don’t quite match up with the movement of the lips. Something is off and it’s annoying to watch.
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On the 5th of December 2019, I tried a new activity when I took a two minute dip in the Atlantic Ocean off the east coast of Cape Breton Island at Ingonish.
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I have a few cool ongoing projects to help me earn a living but I know myself well enough to know that it’s time for a new, fun project. I'm looking to manifest a Tiny Home in my future.
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I believe that each of us is born with an innate wisdom of who we are. But some of us, like me, lose the ability to trust ourselves over time.
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I've heard people give advice that we should do something everyday that scares us a little. Not easy but it's like exercising a muscle - and gets a little easier each time.
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Focusing on what we don't want rarely inspires us to figure out what we do want.
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After recovering from one burnout and almost working myself into a second one, it was time to pay attention to how I felt and where I spent my time working.
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The last day - October 4, 2019
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Echo Bay, Sudbury, North Bay, Deep River - still working on the painting. I will update as soon as it's finished.
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Kenora, Thunder Bay and Lake Superior
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Oh no - the trip is coming to an end. But - luckily I get to visit with family and see some Polar Bears!
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Heading east through Swift Current, Moose Jaw And Moosomin. (Updated art work to follow)
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My quick trip through Alberta from Banff to Calgary to Drumheller to Medicine Hat.
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Greenwood to Cranbrook to Radium
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Notes on my first two days as I head east - a family emergency, goats, a missed ferry, and landslides
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I chat about Golden, Revelstoke, Cache Creek, Whistler and the Sunshine Coast. (Painting in progress)
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A sampler from my arrival in Alberta
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This episode traces my toute through the province as I continued west.
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My first visit to this western province. Winnipeg, cousins, cows and bison.
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Prepping for the west, Ontario - part one
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My first trip to Newfoundland!
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An overview of my time in Nova Scotia during my coast to coast ride.
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What I needed to do to visit my mom in Nova Scotia.
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In this week’s episode, I talk about how I now live my life on my terms.
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A look at my brief time in Canada’s smallest province
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A quick trip featuring moose, friends and hospitality.
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Musings from driving through Québec on my way to Atlantic Canada.
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What I discovered about creativity after changing my life
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An introduction and overview of my story - starting over at 55 with a solo motorcycle ride across Canada.
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