Black Zen and the Weekly Wellness: Recent Episodes
Black Zen Weekly Wellness Podcast
This podcast is a weekly discussion on selected wellness topics designed to make you laugh, provide insight and support meditation-based practices.
We hope everyone has been well and pushing through this crazy time in a thoughtful and peaceful way. Over the last few months, we’ve had quite a few partnerships with businesses and schools looking to introduce guided meditation in a virtual way, to help students and adults alike cope with this new environment. In an effort to continue this work and really stay true to our mission of bringing meditation to the masses, something has to give.
The need right now is working with our partners to further our mission of making meditation accessible and relatable to those who are struggling in this new environment and we're creating the time and capacity to answer this call by putting an indefinite hold on the podcast. While this decision was made reluctantly, please know that it was carefully considered.
As you know from our past breaks, we will always leave you with resources. To help you build during this time, we've compiled our best 10 topics and recapped them in this episode. These are all the episodes most likely to keep you growing while we’re away! For those of you who may miss our couch conversations, jokes and banter without the Weekly Wellness podcast, we encourage you to start from the beginning. We've covered so many topics over the years that we feel comfortable in taking this step without leaving you hangin'. You have access to all of our past podcasts on Soundcloud, iTunes or other streaming services to keep you going and we have over 100 episodes of mindful wellness tips to keep you engaged, peaceful, and growing.
We’re also not going anywhere. If you miss us, reach out at info@blackzen.co to chat or say “hey”. We love you all like family, so please treat this as an open invitation to keep in touch. We'll also update our website (blackzen.co) with news when we have it, and you never know, with us we could be back in the near future if the feeling strikes ;)
Always your partners in progress, The Black Zen Team
We can't even begin to describe how your girls have been affected by recent events. We've been in Minneapolis for some time and the feeling in this city is fraught with anger, frustration and ultimately a heavy heart. The murder of George Floyd has confronted us with the important question of how do we, as peaceful meditators, manage our rage and handle all of the other emotions that we experience living in a world that too often doesn't make sense, while also holding on to our core values of compassion and love in all things?
For us, that means utilizing meditation to help fortify our resolve for the work ahead. It means providing our community with a safe space to process grief and to continue building a community that is mentally and emotionally equipped to do what needs to be done to create change.
In light of this, we're providing free, community guided meditation for anyone who needs it. Sign-up is available on our website - blackzen.co.
To our community members protesting in the streets, we are donating I STAY ZEN face masks to reiterate this message of being peaceful while protesting and holding onto our zen while fighting for our right to exist.
This is a lot to hold, but know that we are here to support you and help you carry it.
The Black Zen Team
This is definitely one to get your pen ready for taking notes! The more we looked at how to start viewing food as medicine, the more information we found. In our final episode of this month's topic, we provide you with the Cliff's Notes version ;) We highlight the every day foods we can incorporate into our diet that not only help prevent sickness and disease, but can also heal certain ailments over time. Listen in now to find out the obvious (and surprisingly, not so obvious) things we can eat that significantly improve our health and well-being...
Now that we have a handle on some of the great foods we should be incorporating into our diet, we decided to use this week to find out which foods to avoid to ensure we’re living our best life. We also uncovered some surprising things about junk food that even we were shocked to find out! Food is so integral to our bodies, our mood and our health, so it only makes sense that being more aware of what we eat can have a profound effect on our day to day experience…
Last week we discussed the 4 happy hormones that keep our spirits up and our lives feeling healthy and full. We’re following that up this week with the low cost, easy access foods we can incorporate into our daily meals to help keep all those good vibes going! This is also the episode where your Black Zen team may have cracked under the pressure of shelter-in-place. In this episode we’re definitely at our silliest, but always serious about making sure that our community begins incorporating some feel good foods into our diet. Tune in for laughs, good vibes and to unravel the conversation that covered everything from oats and almonds to grits and a good malbec…
Last month Jas and I talked about creating your own personal wellness and meditation retreats and we hope you’ve been able to implement that in your home, especially now! One of the most direct actions we can take post-retreat is to start becoming more intentional about our food choices. This may seem like a small thing, but the foods we eat affect our energy and moods a lot more than we think. We now have the time to cook at home as we stay in place, so tune in to find out about the 4 happy hormones you need to know about so you can start cooking up some happiness in your home...
With all this extra time on our hands, your girls were digging through the archives to find things that would help us all navigate this "new normal". This week's podcast includes 3 of the most important clips we found relevant to creating a home retreat, whether that's watching what we consume in our newly found free time, tips to building that meditation practice or what we've been personally putting into place, trying to make lemonade out of lemons. As a reminder, for the rest of March (you have one day left!) we will be sending this month's guided meditation to everyone who needs it and without subscription. Message us at info@blackzen.co to get your home retreat in gear. There is LITERALLY no time like the present...
With all that's going on in the world right now with the corona virus outbreak, it's definitely putting all of our inner-peace skills to the test! In this week's podcast, we take a detour from our regularly scheduled program to address what's happening in our nation and the world around us. We talk about how we as meditators can meet this challenge and come out peaceful and whole on the other side. Listen in now to get a free perk and to find out how to create the boundaries necessary to guard your peace and joy amidst these uncertain times...
In this week’s conversation, we continue discussing how to get the most out of your personal meditation or wellness retreat. One of the trickiest parts about taking time out to center yourself and find balance, is that eventually you have to go home, or back to work, or end up right smack dab in the middle of all the problems or circumstances that you thought you’d left behind. How do we keep up the momentum to change after the retreat is over? And how do we find time for wellness given everything that’s going on around us? Most importantly, once we return from our retreat experience, how do we navigate our new self in our old life?…
In this week’s conversation, we discuss the most crucial ingredients you need to craft a thoughtfully planned personal wellness retreat. We take the guess work out of what to prepare, how to find the time off work or from other obligations, and even share tips on how to make sure you get the most out of the time you set aside. Whether you have a few hours, a full weekend or even longer to spare, we share all the details on how to set up the best environment for your personal growth! Tune in now to start planning a retreat designed with your unique needs in mind...
The Black Zen Team has been debating for the last few days about meditation versus wellness retreats and the benefits of each. After numerous discussions about our own personal experiences, we did come to one shared conclusion. Every style of retreat has to have some component that helps us drown out the noise of life to give us the space to find and hear our inner voice. And when we say drown out the noise of life, we’re talking about both the internal chatter within our mind and the external noise we experience every day. This external noise can include things like the sound of traffic, taking in the news, interacting on social media, or even just listening to the conversations around us. The appeal of a retreat is that, by design, it removes us from our daily obligations so that we can get a bird's eye view of our lives, and this month’s Weekly Wellness podcast discussion is focused on building that retreat wherever you are...
Don’t you hate how every romantic comedy stops right at the end of the “meet cute” moments? This week we wanted to find out what happens once we’re finally in relationships and passed the honey moon phase? In our final installment in this month’s series on relationships, we take some humorous and surprising advice from couples who have been together for over 20 years to find out the best ways to make our relationships last the test of time…
When it comes to choosing a partner or determining if the one we're with is right for us, how do we know what to look for? On this episode, the Black Zen team spills some personal tea from past relationships and narrows down a few key things to pay attention to when trying to figure that out. Listen in to find out how your relationship stacks up when we look at a few crucial indicators that let us know we're with a true partner that can stand the test of time...
In part two of this month’s series on relationships, we take a look at the unfortunate side effects of putting your relationship to the test and discuss the 1 subtle thing that could be damaging your relationships over time…
Since February is always associated with love, we thought it was the perfect month to take a deep dive into relationships! In Part I of this topic, we include the 1 key thing to remember about all of your relationships and we humorously break down the most important element that holds every great relationship together…
Now that we know that each of us has power, which is the ability to impact or create change - what do we do with it? How do we know where to focus our power to see the most impactful results in our life? The surprising thing we uncover in this week’s final episode on January’s theme is that usually the thing that needs to change is often not what we think it is! Tune in for the final conversation of this month’s theme to start your year off with power…
To continue the conversation on this month’s theme, we talk about how to double down on the power that you have or how to get it back if you think you’ve lost it in a certain situation in your life. This is the key to navigating this year and actually getting results!...
To continue the conversation on this month’s theme, POWER, we used this week to look closer at what happens when we unknowingly give ours away – whether it’s thinking we’re stuck in a situation, letting other people control our moods, or even worse, believing that we don’t have any. This week is all about how to recognize the power that we do have, and how to use that to create the change we want to see in our life. 2020, let’s go!! Listen now to dive in to part II of this topic…
We're back! Another year, another day, another opportunity for a fresh new start. Speaking of fresh (shout out to the 80's babies!), you may have noticed our new website (blackzen.co) but the most notable shake-up is that our Weekly Wellness editorial is now the Monthly Meditation. We heard you when you said you love our content, but found it hard to incorporate everything all at once. To help alleviate the overload, we’re going to focus on one topic for the month to give you plenty of time to implement the advice. We’ll of course look at the topic from all different angles, but we’re hoping this helps you make all the changes you want to see in your life for this new year!
This month we're talking all about POWER. We think it’s a perfect topic to start off the new year. Setting our intention and using power to fuel the follow-through will set the stage for an amazing 2020. Part I starts now…
It's official. Your BZ Team is on its annual December break. As you know we take wellness seriously, so incorporating mindful pauses into our business is not only true to form, but we find it necessary in keeping our content interesting and helpful to you. Last week we mentioned wanting to leave you with a ton of resources to get you through the rest of the holiday season. We also want to help set you up for the year ahead. In addition to 20% off of the BZ Beginner’s Guide to Meditation workbook for the full month of December (use promo code: 2020 at checkout), we've also completed our review of past wellnesses to give you the final top pieces of advice from 2019! Listen in now for the second half of our year-end countdown…
For the folks that have been with us for a while, you know that we take a holiday hiatus for the month of December and devote that time to our personal wellness. We use that time not only to rest and recharge, but to evaluate how we can continue to help and support you. Now with the sudden realization that there are only two weeks left in November, we wanted to leave you with a ton of resources to get you through the rest of the holiday season. To do this we've reviewed all of our past wellnesses and pulled out our top 10 pieces of advice this year. To not overload you with all ten at once, here’s Part I of the countdown. And be sure to tune in next week for the rest of the best tips of 2019. Together, these two weeks of the wellness should keep you going (and growing!) until our January return…
If we look throughout history, every generation before us thought the world was going to hell in a hand basket. And yet, here we are. Our lives continue to evolve and the most important things like love, purpose and the ability to move forward still remain. When we meditate we give ourselves a chance to see society's problems on a much larger scale, our personal view gets a wider perspective, and we become equipped with a lens that sees all possible outcomes rather than just focusing on the current state of affairs. Being present and aware we will feel more and see more of what's really going on, and can then become the change makers to fix the ills that disrupt our world. Even more, it allows us to achieve these changes without sacrificing our own peace, damaging our emotional well-being, or affecting our physical health from the negative impacts of stress. Most of all, we grant peace permission to thrive no matter what else is going on around us…
It may come as no surprise that the same person who invented water torture for prisoners also came up with sleep deprivation as another form of punishment. Fam, the struggle is real! This week we’re giving you the tools you need to get your zzzz's back on track. We wanted to uncover the easiest and most effective ways on how to get consistently better sleep. Just like consistent meditation or regular exercise, good sleep is vital to our well-being. When we're getting enough of it, it allows us to be at our best. A healthy sleep schedule is more important than we think and it’s worth putting in the time to make sure we’re getting our best night’s snooze as consistently as possible…
No one likes to feel like their back is against the wall, whether it’s literally or figuratively. Being physically pinned in a corner, or “caught on the ropes” to borrow a well-known boxing term, can often leave us feeling like we’ve already lost the fight. This same situation can be true in life. When we’re in a match between our goals and our reality (which may be taking a bit longer than we’d like to catch up with our vision), it can make us feel like we’re trapped. Rather than take the beating lying down, we can make the best of a setback or an unanticipated set of events by having inside-fighting skills (another boxing term since we’re already on a roll)…
At Black Zen, we consistently look for ways to create the best conditions for our success and our peace, and the most important factor we've found in achieving this has been surrounding ourselves with amazing, ambitious and authentic people who inspire us to be our best. It's these folks who truly make up a winner's circle. When selecting your team it's also important to know when to trim the fat. There are some people in our lives who just aren't all that positive. While we would never cut them out of our lives entirely, it may be necessary to create a bit of distance to make sure their influence is not derailing our progress. Listen in to find out the best benchmarks to look for when picking your winner’s circle…
We’re celebrating our 100th episode of the Weekly Wellness podcast! In honor of this milestone, we’re taking some time to answer some of the most frequently asked questions about meditation. As we continue to grow our organization and move our mission forward, we hope each Weekly Wellness is an opportunity for you to enhance where you are, let you know that you've been seen and give you the motivation and the humor to keep on moving towards your best life!
Humbled to be your partners in progress, The Black Zen Team
As people interested in meditation or for those of us with a developed meditation practice, we tend to hear a lot about being "present". Generally, we equate being present with mindfulness in our daily activities and noticing our lives as they are happening in real time. But what does being present in the day-to-day actually look like when you’re also an ambitious person working to put important plans in place for your future? In this Weekly Wellness, we set out to find examples of what being present looks like and how to remain in this state of awareness when working on long-term goals (even when your present is less than pleasant or downright sucks!)…
I'm going to go ahead and date myself here and say I miss the 80's! Gone are the days when I can hop on a bike and head to the Boys and Girls Club after school. There I would squander my days away with Chinese jump rope competitions and tetherball battles (more of a slaughter since Jasmine stopped growing in grade 2, lol). Reflecting on it now, I think I just miss being playful. And while we touched on this back in June in an effort to bring back the idea of a traditional summer vacation, I see no reason to relegate fun to just the summertime. This week's wellness is dedicated to taking the seriousness out of life and finding more playtime, in every season, and even in our meditation practice…
Recently someone asked me, "What do you want out of life?" and my immediate (conditioned?) reply was, "To just live comfortably and be happy." It wasn't until the "to just" came out of my mouth that I realized how small and limiting "to just" can look like in real life. The person I was speaking with nodded and seemed to agree with this sentiment which leads me to think this is the accepted and expected dream of most people. Fam, the dream of "to just" is not enough! When we start our expectations and goals with this phrase we are co-signing and then striving for average. It's time to think and dream bigger, and this week’s wellness is dedicated to re-framing our mindsets to do just that…
The butterfly effect concept was articulated best by meteorologist and mathematician Edward N. Lorenz. His theory stated that the flapping of a butterfly's wings has potential to cause a hurricane on the other side of the world. While this may not generally be the case, it's a good example of the idea that tiny changes in complex systems can cause huge and unknown effects. If we think of ourselves as the system being altered, how large of an impact could we potentially have in affecting our trajectory with tiny changes made in our everyday life...
I'm not sure why the "What's going on in your life?" question leaves me unnaturally inarticulate, but it does. It makes me question what the hell I've been doing for the last year and if anything has changed in what feels like quite a bit of time. Even without the holiday season looming, I'm sure we've all gotten questions from distant friends or new acquaintances asking, "What are you up to?" The clarity we provide for ourselves is an important step to being able to convey this information to others. And once we're aware of where we are in life, it becomes much easier to have conversations around what we’re doing…
I imagine all good habits from working out to eating right starts with a plan. When I started doing yoga, my only plan was to shrink the arse following me and to lose an extra chin. It was never my plan to learn a skill set that would prepare my mind and body for meditation, but that's exactly what happened. As it turns out, this is truly what the practice of yoga is all about…
Let's be honest. You know what you need to do to move forward on your goals. So the question is not, "What do you need to do?" but rather, "Why aren't you doing it?" You've read every "do better" article out there and probably have a stack of self-help and success books in the corner of your living room right now, but if all this knowledge leads to no action - what's the point?…
"Most people live their entire lives in prison, not physically but mentally, a mental prison of their own making, the mental prison that you have accepted to be confined in. You hold the keys within you to escape, a prison break must take place, let the one you want to be break you free from the cell of conformity that wants you to remain who you are. Project your mind forward and see the self-made successful [person] that you want to become. That individual, that vision, that dream is what can free you.” – Asad Meah.
What we’ve come to understand at Black Zen is that dreaming big requires vision and clear thinking, and sometimes that process starts with clearing out the old misconceptions and limiting beliefs that were clouding our minds in the first place…
In the spirit of confronting our fears, this Weekly Wellness is all about how to name what we're afraid of so we can finally put it to rest - or at least have it close enough in our view that we realize it's not as scary as we think. Naming our fear loosens its foothold on us. It frees us up to move about our lives with confidence and ease. The dreaded difficult conversation or circumstance we're fearful about is understandably uncomfortable, but it's usually only scary because our imagination of what might happen is so much wilder than what the actual experience will yield...
It's been a minute since your girls have completely nerded out on a Weekly Wellness, so let's get into it! In this week's post, we're studying The Room of Requirement. If you are not a Harry Potter fan and have no idea what we're talking about, The Room of Requirement supplied the students of Hogwarts with whatever they needed in that moment. How great would it be to need something and then instantaneously have the means to acquire it? I know what you're thinking, and no, this is not a post about meditation being that room! In fact, that room already exists and everyone has access to it. Here's what we mean...
The keys to a more balanced way of life are none other than patience and equanimity. Equanimity is a $400 word defined as mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. It's keeping our cool even when it looks like the needle hasn't moved on our progress or when unexpected emotions come up in our meditation practice. Once we learn patience with ourselves, it's that much easier to extend that patience to the people around us...
Imagine for a moment going into the store and getting every ingredient for the perfect meal. You come home excited to cook because you’ve already thought through all the steps to make sure this meal is epic! There’s just one problem. As you start putting all of your flavors together, you realize you’ve forgotten the most important ingredient of all – salt. Sometimes, this is how life without a meditation practice can feel. It’s like you’ve got all the right elements in place, but something crucial is missing. The flavors of your experience just don’t taste as good as they should, and day-to-day life seems to lack zest. For the Black Zen team, we’ve found that meditation enhances every moment by training us to be fully present and teaches us to enjoy the fullness of our experiences. This week, take a look at your life and make sure you have a well-seasoned plate of mental, emotional and spiritual food. And if you find any area lacking in flavor, like salt, meditation is always available…
You may be asking, "What do my personal finances have to do with wellness?" In short, it’s about having peace of mind. When I first began meditating, the common theme that ran through my thoughts were around money - not having enough of it to live comfortably, how I could make more of it, and what experiences I was missing out on because I didn't have enough. I knew then that to get the most out of my meditation time, I had to either develop a peace about where I was financially and/or change my financial situation. I chose to do both and we’re encouraging you to do the same. To save you the strife of living from paycheck to paycheck, this week's wellness is dedicated to getting your financial house in order. It all starts with finding peace in your current financial situation, and then taking ownership of that circumstance. From here, we can each make the necessary changes to reach our personal version of financial freedom and find peace of mind with our finances…
Embracing imperfection in ourselves is about looking at our internal cracks and personal quirks without disapproval, and instead seeing them as an opportunity to paint those perceived flaws with something wonderful. It’s a gentle process and it happens when we step away from the business of life to truly see the canvas we’re working with. Before our break we encouraged you to truly rest and enjoy the summer, and even to take a break from striving toward your goals if that's what you needed. We all know that soon our "summer-life" will fade and it's back to the grind. Yet, by embracing the cracks and imperfections that we all work with, we can keep a bit of that summer peace with us as the seasons change. When we view our process in the Wabi-Sabi way, learning to work on ourselves with patience and acceptance truly does take the "work" out of it…
Think back to when you were in school, there were really only two important days - the first day of school and the last day of school. I distinctly remember organizing and re-organizing my pencil box and Trapper Keeper in anticipation! Fast forward to June and your girl was spent; I couldn't wait for that last bell to ring. While summer was uneventful (imagine your girls living in jammies watching The Price is Right and playing Monopoly for an entire two months), it did come with the promise of no classes, homework or study hall. It's a shame that as adults we no longer have these days to look forward to... or do we? I'd like to officially declare a summer break on #adulting! This is not to say we neglect our responsibilities, but we really should make an effort to feel that release of duty, obligation and expectation on some level, just as we did during those childhood summers.
In an effort to practice what we preach, your Black Zen Team is reclaiming a summer break of our own! We're taking off the month of June for writing the Weekly Wellness editorial and producing the Weekly Wellness podcast. In European fashion, our vacation will be a month long. Your team will be back in July refreshed and pencils sharpened ready to jump back into the swing of things. We're taking this time off and we encourage you to do the same. And as the typical yearbook entry goes, have a great summer!
The most surprising discovery at any stage of life is that we're still in the process of creating our story. Given the average age of life expectancy in the U.S. is now 81 for women and 76 for men, once we reach our 40's we most likely still have another lifetime left to live! This Weekly Wellness is all about acknowledging that we are never too old to do something we want to do and are never too young to live life in the 60+ range when you have the freedom to do what you want, and are armed with the understanding that you are your only audience.
I found myself curiously unable to sleep last week. For those that know me, this is especially rare as I've been known to sleep standing up, or if really exhausted, even in mid-conversation! So staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m. only amplified a steadily growing and nagging feeling. As I laid in bed, my thoughts drifted between decisions about my future (both personally and professionally) and whether those decisions would align with the outcomes I was hoping to achieve. These thoughts started out innocently enough; a low rumble amidst all the other noise of the day. Then they seemed to morph into a sticky feeling in the pit of my stomach, until ultimately landing like a rock in my chest. It wasn't until a few days later that I was able to pinpoint the name of my sleep invader - worry…
I don't know if it's the weather changing or watching all the dry trees sprout new leaves, but there's something in the air right now and it's got your Black Zen Team feeling like it's time to shine! And when we say shine, we mean walking tall and proudly in our accomplishments, which goes well beyond an Instagram post or an updated Facebook status. This is the time to boldly stand out and put all of our wonderful uniqueness and growth on display. If not now, when? We've been working on planting good seeds and nurturing the parts of ourselves that we want to see grow. We've been diligent about putting in the work to start seeing results in the areas of our life that were dormant before now. It's crucial to remember that letting ourselves step into this new light is just as important and necessary as the hard work we put in to get here…
Through our previous experiences we've developed habits, defenses and thought patterns to deal with the rough spots. We continually create habitual responses to certain circumstances, people and situations (both good and bad). Now is the time to examine those automatic reactions and see if we're responding in a way that truly moves us forward. Whether we know it or not, we have full authority over our thoughts, the words we say, and the choices we make. These are the things that shape what we experience. And if so much of how we experience our life has to do with how we tell our story - why not make it a good one?...
Jas and I often discuss how meditation can assist and/or fix any difficult situation in life, and while we stand by this, there is another hitch to this cart to make it work. What meditation won't do is alleviate all of our problems quickly, especially if we don't have a true intention to change. All of us have an opportunity to retrain ourselves and live up to our full potential, and ultimately, the process is worth it! Once we are truly ready to grow, we have to start by being willing to change the mindset that created the issues in the first place…
I was digging through my purse a few days ago and found a $50 dollar bill. Now there are three things you should know about me before I continue this story:
- My loved ones have frequently described me as, "frugal AF"
- I rarely carry cash.
- If I somehow have more than a $5 spot on me, it ain't mine.
So imagine my elation at the discovery of this "big face" bill that miraculously made its way into my possession. My first thought, "Who's is this?!' My second thought - "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth ;)"
The surprise and delight of the unexpected can be rare for some of us, so it's important to acknowledge and celebrate these small wins as they come. You want to automatically brighten your day? Think of one unexpected good thing that happened to you in the last week. Notice how you feel at just the thought of that experience.
Now, imagine navigating all of life's experiences with that same enthusiasm and belief of something unexpectedly awesome being just around the corner...
We talk a lot about letting things and people go that no longer serve or help us. This week, we want to add guilt and shame to that list! At some point in time, despite our best inclinations and intentions, we have all done something we are not proud of. Remembering these experiences can make us cringe, and at its most heavy-handed, make us feel worse about ourselves even long after the shameful event has occurred. So the question we're posing this week is, "Why dwell on these old memories?" For instance, think of one thing you are most embarrassed about right now. What feelings come up? Has your demeanor or mood changed? Unless you're feeling more empowered than you did 2 minutes ago, remembering that experience is not serving you…
In last week's Weekly Wellness, we touched on the slight difference between being unmotivated and just plain tired! So once we've taken the needed rest to help us jump back into the swing of things or re-gained our motivation to see our goals through, we should still be calculated about next steps so we don't end-up in the same tired/unmotivated slump once again. For this week's Weekly Wellness we're going to focus on how to not mistake activity with achievement…
Jas and I were out to lunch today and we laughed for a good 5 minutes over the following statement: "The juice ain't worth the squeeze, and the squeeze ain't worth the juice!" Given the state of our appearance, it would have suggested that our efforts should have produced more than the current results and both the ridiculousness and realness of that statement truly hit home in that moment. We were taking stock of what we had accomplished this week with work, life's chores, etc. and since we both looked so bedraggled, couldn't help but call it out. For the next few minutes we were laughing because our efforts had brought us to the place of pure exhaustion. Well no more running ourselves ragged and we're encouraging you to take stock of what takes up the most of your time, and then ask, is it worth it?...
In sharing time and energy with the people we surround ourselves with, we've come to expect certain things. Whether we want to admit it or not, there are unwritten rules in every relationship - from romantic partners to friends, and even co-workers. It's when someone breaks one or more of these invisible guidelines that our relationships become fractured and possibly even end. This Weekly Wellness is dedicated to preventing that break. And if the break already happened, listen in to find out what steps to take to repair the relationship. But first, what are these unwritten rules and are they reasonable? ...
The idea of mind, body and spirit has been used by many to describe our human make-up. If we breakdown this concept in its simplest form, it suggests that the body informs the mind of what it needs and then the mind makes the decisions of how to get those needs met. While the body is rooted in nature and survival, the mind is consumed with the daily task of problem solving. This leaves the soul or spirit on its own to contemplate the higher concepts of meaning and existence. If we go with this trio idea of the human composition, the question we want to ask ourselves is which one man's the ship? Is it the body, mind or soul that steers the direction of our actions, and subsequently, the course of our life?...
We might be aging ourselves here, but does anyone else remember that hilarious scene in Harlem Nights when Della Reese's character goes off about the orange juice? For those not familiar with the movie (shade, no shade), think Eve in Barbershop inquiring about the disappearance of her apple juice. In both instances, it wasn't so much that someone drank the juice, it was that they "only left a swalla' in the container!" Both characters had their mouths all warmed up for a certain experience, only to find their expectations would no longer be fulfilled. I’m sure there are many times where we can relate to having grand expectations, and then being confronted with a reality much different than we thought it would be. Rather than trying to completely ignore the impulse of anticipation, a better strategy is learning how to manage expectations so they don't manage you…
As mindful people, we're usually able to clearly see when things (in the words of my grandma) make no damn sense. And it wasn't until I was watching the 10 o'clock news that I became confronted with my own ideas about what is acceptable. I sat and watched 30 minutes of crime and violence under the guise of "staying informed" until it finally hit me how unconstructive the news really was. Has being informed about crime ever reduced the crime rate? And despite it not adding anything to my life, I watched it anyway. In the past we've discussed watching what we consume, but we've never really looked at what kinda bullwinkie our own minds might be signing-off on and whether or not this is helpful…
T.M. Scanlon coined the idea of contractualism which examines our obligation to be moral human beings. In reading some of his work, really interesting questions pop-up like ... “What are we obligated to do for family and loved ones? And if it’s anything, does this obligation extend to people we do not know and/or society on the whole?” Most of us find it easy and almost instinctual to love and be kind to those close to us, but what about everyone else? While we agree it takes a certain heart to be a saint, where does altruism (selfless concern for the well-being of others) fit into our growth and development as people?...
I make fun of Jasmine often. It’s a light-hearted ribbing based on the old school “dozens” that comes naturally when knowing someone so well. The jokes this week started while I watched her tear her house apart looking for a pair of old shoes. As I’m watching (and not helping in any way, shape, or form), I realize I know exactly where those shoes are – at a Goodwill on the Westside where she donated them over a year ago during what I’ve dubbed a “Marie Kondo fit.” This got me thinking. Sometimes in our rush for change, we can end up throwing the baby out with the bathwater. In the past we've covered what's worth holding on to and which habits to keep and which habits to ditch, but when it comes to people, we wanted to provide a cautionary tale about too quickly eliminating what we may need or want down the road…
The insensitivity or criticism of others has a tendency to trigger our insecurities like nothing else. For the ultra-sensitive person, even a quick glance from a stranger can have you questioning your entire appearance, if not just your fashion choices that particular day. For others, it could be that while you don't care about what a stranger thinks, as soon as a family member says something it can trigger all sorts of past hurts and perceived slights. It's in these moments that we have to remind ourselves not to take anything personally. People will do and say the craziest things, and usually, it's to cover their own insecurities and complexes and have much less to do with us than we think…
I'm not gonna lie, good food brings me joy! Should it though? Don't care. I refuse to even ruminate on this as I mentally plan my next meal. Food and I have been best pals for a minute and the only reason I'm sharing this personal TMI is to say - if I can fast, anyone can! Before adamantly rejecting the idea, know that fasting can take many forms outside of food. We're talking about any type of break (sex, drugs, rock n' roll, you name it) that's going to make you step back long enough to see it from a different perspective. When looking at the nature of fasting, it's the simple act of giving up something we enjoy in an effort to see that behavior, habit, mindset, or personal crutch with more clarity and a deeper understanding about why we are so attached to these things in the first place. Breaking old habits is the starting point to any real change, and fasting has been found to be the fast-track to helping that happen…
Jas and I had the benefit of growing up around wise people. And not wise by traditional standards, but wise in how they moved about the world and navigated through and around hardship or difficulty. An example of this unconventional wisdom is captured in our step-dad’s most memorable phrase while growing up: “Opinions are like butt-holes, everybody has one and most of them stink!” No parenting guide in the world would suggest such frankness (and crassness let my mother tell it) to children, but had our step-dad subscribed to parenting guide opinions, we might not be the free-thinking ladies you find today. That small insight sparked confidence as a teen and the fearlessness in adulthood to look past what others think and trust our own instincts. In continuing with the unconventional wisdom in this week's wellness, we came across a few other examples that we can apply to our daily lives…
Ever been in a three-legged race and your partner has a broken leg? I haven’t either, but I imagine you wouldn’t get very far! This is what happens when we tie ourselves to the wrong people. It makes progress in any direction slow and cumbersome. And while I’m all for helping people and propping them up, at some point we need to recognize when they are bringing us down. In past editions we’ve discussed the importance of choosing the right squad and personal growth within a partnership, but this week we wanted to look at how to choose the right partner from jump!...
As much as we try to stay in the present while enjoying the holiday season, we can't help but think back to the goals we set at the beginning of the year. If you made New Year's resolutions and still have a few (or all!) of them left to achieve, don't worry. We’re using this last Weekly Wellness of our year (Reminder: Your Black Zen team goes on a wellness break for the full month of December) to help you make that last, mad dash to finish what you set out to do. This week we're giving you the tools to make those changes stick, and for good this time…
It’s that time of year when your BZ team prepares for its annual December break. This is when we re-center, re-charge and practice personal wellness just as we encourage you to do each week. Don’t worry, we’re not gonna leave you hangin! This week and next week, we’re providing you with a wealth of useful tips and helpful life hacks to dig into while we’re away. There were so many lessons learned this year from the Weekly Wellness archives that we decided to pick out a few of our favorites...
Usually when we hear the word success, we think wealth, perfect relationships, professional accomplishments, and essentially, all the typical outward examples of doing well. But the truth is that once accomplished, those ideal circumstances will only amplify the characteristics of our inner self. It's for these reasons we’re proposing a new definition of “success.” If you don't have peace and joy throughout life, how successful can you really be? If you haven't developed a deep, inner compass of integrity and solidness, how successful will you feel if struck with hardships or when the outward measures of achievement potentially change? If our inner lives are not growing, are not prioritized, and are left unfulfilled, then no matter how much we accumulate - it will never be enough…
Have you ever had a day where everything and everybody seemed to be working on your last good nerve? Maybe it's not even a person, but a situation that just brings on a rant as to why this [insert annoyance here] is so horrible and completely unraveling your peace. I did this a lot when I was a kid. My family can attest that my nickname was Stacey Complain Johnson. You name it, it annoyed me. My grandma would listen intently to these rants and add an occasional "No she didn't?!" At the end of the conversation she would say, "But what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?" For those who have never heard this saying before, there are layers of meaning to unwrap here. Let's just look at the top three...
For the longest time, there was one card game I could never seem to win. One day, I finally realized it was possible to win by playing each hand I was dealt (good or bad), really really well! I started to play with strategy, patience, and stopped taking every bad hand as a sign that that would be my position forever. It turns out I had a wild card - my ability to make decisions as best I could from the position I was in. Slowly but surely, I started to work my way up from the bottom. Even now, I still think of life very much like this game. To steal a quote from Robert Louis Stevenson, "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."…
Maybe it’s just me, but as soon as I hear the days are about to get shorter all I can think is…winter is coming! It’s a time when I usually stay in the house more often than not, and end up sitting with my thoughts for far too long. It’s no wonder that so many of us can get trapped in a loop of negative thinking and may even be affected by the darker days of daylight savings time being gone. And while a meditation practice can definitely help keep the SAD’s at bay (Seasonal Affective Disorder – a.k.a. winter blues), I’ve now learned the importance of making sure I get ahead of the curve. With that in mind, this week’s wellness is all about how to keep our spirits lifted, our mood bright, and most of all, our mindset in the best possible place to ensure this winter is one that we enjoy rather than dread…
One of our favorite movies from the 80's is Trading Places. For those who have never seen it (I'm looking at you millennials), Billy Ray Valentine (hilariously played by Eddie Murphy, and btw, best movie name ever) is plucked off the street and made into a stock broker on a bet that anyone can do the job if given the right circumstances. What's so great about this story is the transformation of Eddie Murphy's character. He had these skills in him all along, and the only difference maker in this new scenario is confidence. That is what makes all the difference in how he navigates his circumstances...
I remember waking up on my 31st birthday and realizing I hadn't done a thing on my bucket list. While I had the means (despite my early twenties spending habits!) and the opportunity (free time and no present obligations), I was still waiting to do so many things in life because I had expected to be doing them with someone else. I always wanted to travel, but thought the stories wouldn't be the same without a partner to share in the experience. I'd often thought about going back to school but instead chose to keep my schedule open for building a family, despite being single and having ZERO prospects. And the craziest of these, putting off visiting the Grand Canyon because I thought it would be more fun to go as a camping trip with my future kids (and yes, I've already picked out their names). It occurred to me on that particular birthday that I was making life decisions based on future wants, and that the fantasy of my future was cock-blocking my present!...
This week reminded me of a story my dad told us when we were younger (some of you preacher’s kids may have already heard this one). A man finds himself in the middle of a storm (yes, the eye of the storm represents life's muck). The storm just doesn’t seem to let up and eventually becomes a full-fledged flood. Our man finds his way to safety on top of his roof. He thanks God for keeping him safe in spite of all the destruction around him, and asks God to come down and rescue him from the chaos. Soon after his prayer, a raft floats nearby. It’s stable and water tight, but our stranded man reminds himself that God saved him from the storm and he knows that God will surely rescue him from the rooftop as well. He sighed as the raft passed and continued to wait on the Lord. The water around him began to rise and he quickly found himself in knee-deep water… I’ve seen so many examples of this in real life and I imagine that’s why I remember the story so well. How many opportunities for advancement have passed us by because we didn't recognize them for what they were? How many different solutions have been presented to us to fix our problem, but go ignored because we believe our opportunity or answer has to look a certain way…
Have you ever been dead wrong about something, but swore up and down it was true? This week I found myself lost in these city streets with nothing but the strong conviction that I was right, and my pride. After realizing we actually passed the same park thrice, my ego had me thinking they must’ve added a new freeway exit. (Really? A new exit? C’mon now.) So convinced that I was right, I wouldn’t let up and course correct - despite all of the evidence telling me to do so. As absurd as this was, how often have similar situations come up in our personal and professional life? How many times has our ego convinced us we were right, when the circumstances and evidence were all urging us to think again? If we believe we know everything, then it means we’ve stopped being teachable. Our ability to heed wise counsel or even accept help becomes compromised, and in doing so, we’ve unknowingly stopped our forward progress…
Sometimes, all it takes is one Fox news story or an ignorant tweet to rock our peaceful boat. That was the BZ Team experience this week that led to this Monday's all-too-important topic… how to protect your peace and guard your energy from emotional and media vampires. Are we being dramatic with the use of the word "vampire"? Perhaps, but let me tell you, the draining of energy is real! Like all responsible adults, we want to know what's going on in the world around us, but this week the news just had to be turned off. It got us thinking, “How do we maintain our peace while still being active members of society?” In this week’s wellness, we provide a few key ways to maintain our energy and guard our joy in the midst of these tumultuous times…
Sometimes we can get so caught up in making sure that we're focusing on the parts of our life that we want to see movement in, that we can easily neglect other areas that need attention as well. I liken this to a relationship where you both know something is wrong, but no one wants to say anything. The unspoken issue between the two of you doesn't mean the relationship is fine, it just means it's deteriorating at a slower rate. So the question is, what are we ignoring in our life right now or what's gone unspoken and might be withering away without our attention…
The competitive nature of us as people is to do what people say can’t be done and excel in areas we’re not supposed to. And doesn’t every epic movie trailer start out that way? The down and out cop contemplates leaving the force, but then ends up taking down the cartel in a blaze of bullets and pyrotechnics. The woman who can’t find love until the unexpected happens, and now she’s living on a farm in bliss with thirty children and her soul mate. You get the idea. We all love a good “started from the bottom, now we’re here” tale. It’s no wonder that sometimes we seek this level of drama in our own life. But what I’ve noticed over the years, these stories are better on screen. Struggling and grit builds character, sure. I’m good on those. In a nod to Maxine Waters, I am reclaiming the plot lines to my story...
With the NFL pre-season just about wrapped up, it's time for our annual family fantasy football league to begin. In scouring the internet to get tips on how to ensure I set up my team for the win, it got me thinking about how each player has a position to play. Depending on your current situation, which player you are might just determine your next best move...
Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? For you Westworld fans, you've heard this question many times throughout the series. While the humans in the story are base and uninteresting, it's the hosts that ponder their existence and question their programming. And it's these higher thoughts that make them more human, almost more so, than the programmers and park guests. So much happens in season one, I can't even! But that's the inspiration behind this week's wellness….Are we all just hosts? Similar to people, the hosts are coded to behave in a certain way. They are given memories and loops of dialogue and characteristics that make-up who they are. Once we begin recognizing that we’re on a loop in our life, we can start to hack our own internal code. We can begin fixing the glitches in our thinking that hold us back from living amazing lives. We can throw out old lines of code that are no longer useful. Most of all, we can begin writing new narratives that lead us to our best life…
Last week was all about discovering our superpower, but in any good hero movie there is always a sidekick. It’s the teammate that quietly kicks butt in the background and helps the superhero complete their mission. For us, that sidekick is meditation. In a world full of noise, both literally and figuratively, sometimes silence is the most powerful tool at our disposal. This silence helps us to find stillness amidst our busy lives and provides refuge from all the nonsense happening in the world around us. It even reveals the areas of our life that need attention (and maybe even our superpower). This week’s wellness is full of tips, tricks and things to remember as you start or navigate your own meditation practice and start realizing how meditation is truly your secret sidekick…
We've all had times when we thought we'd never recover or bounce back only to return stronger than before and triumph over setbacks or adversity. How many times have we surprised ourselves with our superstrength or discovered a powerful quality we didn't know we had until a particular circumstance in our life drew it out? Unlike the movies where the superpower is something unhuman, in real life our gifts look like those innate, impressive qualities we all possess. When harnessed, they yield amazing results or mind-blowing outcomes. What's even better, we all have more than one superpower. Do you know what your superpowers are, and if so, are you using them to their highest potential...
I recently attended a 4th of July event that ended in fireworks and it was life changing! I’ll tell you why. If you’ve ever believed you had a good time watching fireworks, try watching a kid watching fireworks. The way that child literally gasped and became awestruck by the seemingly simple bright lights in the sky is a feeling worth hanging onto, even as we get older. It was so clear in that moment that while I was simply seeing a fancy light show, that kid was having a truly joyful experience. And isn’t that what being present is all about? As adults, our joyful moments may look a bit more subdued than the kid watching fireworks, but it doesn’t mean our experience has to be any less exciting or special…
Being raised in a large city, I always fantasized about life in the country. More specifically, I admired folks who were able to live off the land and make their own food. So like any adventurous urban farmer, I tried my hand at growing something simple like tomatoes or mint. They didn't last long (turns out, I don't have a green thumb). However, that experience did get me thinking about how many times we plant seeds that will flower as results in our life, but then don't take proper care of them to make sure they succeed. These seeds can represent our career goals, life ambitions, a romantic relationship, or our personal growth in general. Regardless of the type of "plant" we wish to produce, those seeds don't get far unless we give them the best opportunity to grow…
Let's be honest - we all want to be successful. That's why we get up day after day and work as hard as we do. No matter the type of job we have, whether that's blue collar, white collar, member of the gig economy and everything in between, we all want to feel like we've accomplished what we set out to do. The moment we decide we're going to slay, it's time to put action behind that sentiment. This is what separates those who succeed vs. those who wish to succeed. And while each of our versions of success will look different, the traits of a boss are still the same…
There are numerous stories of animals that have been held in captivity for so long, that even when they are moved to larger spaces or freed altogether, they still end up living within a confined area that mirrors the footprint of their previous cage. And before we go thinking this only happens to animals, even the great Oprah Winfrey admits to hiding money under her mattress for the first few years of her success because she was afraid it could all go away at any moment. When we’ve finally reached the next stage of our life or persevered past a bad situation (whether that’s a job we hated, an unhealthy relationship, a dangerous neighborhood, etc), how many times have we instinctively reacted as if we were still bound by those previous limiting circumstances? When our situation finally changes, how do we get our mind to catch up?...
It can be frustrating to put in work, be diligent and consistent about the execution of a plan, and still seem like we're not making progress in life. Or, when we do start to gain momentum, feel like there is a shoe that drops which we never saw coming. In the words of Mike Tyson, "Everybody has a plan, until they get punched in the face." ...So, now what? When life gives us the proverbial punch, do we shake it off and get back up? Do we go to our corner and regroup? Do we just lay there thinking wtf while our eyes begin to water? Yes, yes and yes. Here's the cool thing, acknowledging that the situation sucks and giving ourselves a day to feel however we choose to feel about it can actually make the boulder easier to move....
There are two main ways to think about life. It is either happening to us or the choices we make determine our current circumstances. As children, we experience more of the first. Our parents determine the neighborhood we grow up in, the schools we attend and most of our environment. As adults, we now have the awesome opportunity (and radical responsibility) of shaping our life's trajectory. Radical responsibility means no longer blaming our past or our upbringing for the choices we make. If we're not where we want to be in life, it's saying "I didn't expect enough of myself" rather than "no one ever thought I'd be worth anything and so now that's how I feel." Once we know that we are no longer powerless kids unable to control our environment, we become empowered adults that take charge of our experience...
When we were growing up, we had a healthy fear of our father. He could give one look and we found some "act right" quick, fast and in a hurry. He smiled often and rarely raised his voice, but something about his persona just said "don't try it with this guy." Thinking on it now, we see how much silent authority and power he had as an individual and as a parent. It's a trait that we as meditators have found to be one of the most useful qualities. Silent authority not only demonstrates strength, but also provides calm in emergencies, comfort in distress, and ultimately, a dependable foundation that you and your loved ones can rely on. In this week's wellness, we're focusing on how to cultivate these traits and how to best utilize them in our day-to-day life...
Time is money. Not sure who said it, or when that phrase became popular, but that has been the focus of our week. Why? Because your girls are exhausted! The Black Zen team has spent countless hours ramping up on partnerships, speaking and teaching engagements and secret projects (Yes, you read that right. Get ready for a big launch – can’t tell you what it is or it wouldn’t be a secret!). In as much, it’s become more and more important to manage our time and energy to bring you the goods. So if time equals money, we wanted to make sure we were spending both wisely. And what we found, could help you too...
When was the last time you felt listened to? I mean really listened to. Somebody looked you straight in the eye and took in what you were saying without interjecting, making the conversation about them, or without a cell phone in hand? I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s been a while. In a conversation, we rarely listen as much as we think we do. Our brain is busy receiving information and dissecting it quick enough to process so we can appropriately respond to what another person is saying. What if we took out the part where we are expected to say something? Think about how much more we’d be able to hear. This is the practice of mindful listening…
Ann Landers famously wrote, "At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don't care what they think of us. At 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all." After going through the motions and the hard knocks of youth, age arms us with the experience and the knowledge of lessons learned to live life on our own terms. One of the biggest lessons in every decade is just how important self-awareness is to creating a life that is filled with decisions that accurately reflect who we are. At Black Zen we believe the older we all get, the more fabulous we become. So, this week we decided to celebrate getting older and acknowledge how good it feels to be grown!
We found some new and nerdy info this week that we just had to share. I was reading a book from one of my old meditation classes and came across the word “koan” a few pages into my reading. I didn’t think much of it, but a few pages later it showed up again. Since it hurts my heart to read a word and not know what it means, I decided to look it up. In the definition of koan I found myself very much like Alice from Alice in Wonderland, tumbling down a rabbit hole of the obscure and truly interesting. It turns out that a koan is: a paradoxical anecdote or riddle without a solution, used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and provoke enlightenment. Oh word?! Ultimately, the practice of attempting to answer a koan (much like meditation) has to do with stretching our mind and expanding our way of thinking…
There's a great quote by author Louis L'Amour that says, "Knowledge is like money: to be of value it must circulate, and in circulating it can increase in quantity and, hopefully, in value." If we consider how many unique experiences we've all had, it's easy to see how the knowledge we've gained through each of our life lessons and experiences can become a powerful form of currency in someone else's life. In our own lives, we cash in on the lessons we've learned as soon as we make different or better choices than we did in the past (presumably before we knew better). Rather than letting those lessons end with just our experience, we should pass that wisdom along to the people in our lives and share what we know with our network in an effort to build up our communities and the new generation coming up behind us...
Sometimes all the positive self-talk in the world doesn’t change the fact that some situations leave us stuck. During these times, it may seem that no matter how much we try to have perspective, we just can’t help but feel wedged between a rock and a hard place. If you’ve ever found yourself in this position, and chances are if you’re alive and reading this right now you have, then you’ve experienced that sinking feeling of running out of options. Rather than give you a pie in the sky approach to managing those feelings or improving that situation, we have another alternative – surrender to what is...
There are 1,440 minutes in a day. How are those minutes being spent? This week’s wellness is all about how to make sure we’re incorporating what we value most in life into our busy schedules. For instance, while the majority of us acknowledge that a meditation practice will (or does) have a profound positive effect on our life, we've found the most common reasons for not committing to one is that it often seems like there isn't enough time in the day. Rather than provide a laundry list of the benefits of meditation or talk about how to make it a habit, let's instead debunk the general concept of time and talk about how to finally win at time management in all areas of our life…
When I was a kid, I promised myself that when I became an adult I would have ice cream every day and then I would be completely satisfied. In my teens, I said I’d be satisfied as soon as I had a car of my own. In my twenties, I was going to be satisfied as soon as I got a great job. Time passed. Ice cream was eaten every day in college (my freshman 25), I had my own car (that came with a note, insurance and maintenance costs) and I had a decent job, but satisfied? Not so much. Thinking back on my childhood reminds me of the story, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” Poor mouse. Always getting what he wanted, but always wanting more. It made me think about my own wants and how those desires lead to other wants. This inevitably brings up the question, will I ever be satisfied? I know I'm not the only one in this boat so we've devoted this week to explore, when will enough be enough?...
Fam, we're getting back to basics! With all of the topics we discuss, this week we wanted to re-emphasize and focus on the real root of all lasting change - developing a meditation practice. When we thought back to when we began meditating, and the resources we wish we had available as we stumbled through those first few years, a few things came to mind. So, we’ve provided important tips necessary to grow a personal practice and also answered a few of the questions that were in the back of our minds when we first started. These tools are designed to help you on your journey, wherever you are in the process...
Often, go-getters have two speeds – run and stop. Personally, I am either busting my hump to get things accomplished to the point of burnout, or I'm doing nothing at all and lamenting about life and wondering why things aren't happening the way I want them to. Learn from my mistakes! This week's wellness is all about patience. Hopefully, my week of toil and the lessons I’ve learned from it will save you from exhaustion and disappointment about why [insert incomplete goal here] is not happening fast enough. There is a balanced way to be an ambitious person with goals and a timeline, but perhaps, that's exactly the problem - having a timeline at all...
As ambitious people, sometimes we can be so busy focusing on the big breakthroughs that we forget to give ourselves credit for the bite-sized improvements we've made or the mini milestones that we've racked up along the way. There are plenty of times where we may have stopped ourselves from fully celebrating an accomplishment "until the ink is dry," but by doing this, we're limiting our joy to a few short-lived moments rather than embracing the entire journey (and the mini-wins in between) as worthy of a celebration. The best solution for this – celebrate all the time...
Many of us use spring as a symbol that it's time to go through our closets and take an inventory of what's inside. We allow (and sometimes force) ourselves to get rid of pants that no longer fit, throw away the tattered socks and underwear that frankly should have been tossed last spring and we consciously decide what we will keep and continue to wear for the rest of the year. In applying this idea to life, we find that there are certain labels (i.e. "the party girl", "the bad boy", "the one who's always late", etc.) and personal tendencies (i.e. never letting people in, expecting the worst, not giving our best effort, etc.) that no longer describe us. And if they do, they are traits that we no longer want to be associated with. Ultimately, the point of spring cleaning is to give ourselves a fresh start. Let's take our cue from nature and let this be the time where we take stock of who we are and what we're currently doing to see if that still "fits"...
So many of us are dealing with past hurts and traumas, and many times we hold on to them because we are afraid to fully feel them. I don't know about you, but I held onto my pain for so many years because I kept telling myself I had too much to get done and didn't have the luxury or time to fall apart. What I didn't realize, is that falling apart was not fatal. Masking my pain, minimizing it or avoiding it altogether was what held me back from growing through the lesson. Once I let go, I was able to accept that the situation was what it was, but also, that it no longer needed to define or shape how I showed up every day. I was creating my own misery by staying stuck in my feelings rather than giving myself permission to let it go. The past only lingered because I allowed it to be present...
Every now and again, I write an open letter to myself. This holds me accountable for what I say I want to do and tracks my progress. What follows is an open letter I wrote a few days ago about my life's goals. Your girl is tired of making the same mistakes and wondering what happened and how I got here. I know many out there can relate - to be stuck on a loop and irritated with a lack of growth in an area we're really trying to work on. This pattern must be disrupted! Hopefully, what follows will help you where you are, as I expect it to help me when I read it each month to keep me on track. This is the conversation I had to have with myself...
As March approaches, I expect the magazine stands to be filled with articles around weight loss and getting to work on that Summer body. While we at Black Zen think it's great to be active and intentional about taking care of ourselves physically, we wonder if there's too much emphasis placed on the outside perception of what it means to be healthy over the harder, more nuanced work that it takes to be inwardly in good shape. With all the talk of dieting and getting fit, what would happen if we focused our efforts on the inside rather than the out...
You may have noticed the last few Weekly Wellness' were centered around mindfulness and making moves. What we've recently discovered, while trying to incorporate these strategies in our own life, is that any major shift requires some form of change in our daily habits. We came across a quote from the James Clear blog that completely put this in perspective - "It doesn't matter if it's working out or eating healthy or creating art, you can't expect yourself to magically stick to a new habit without setting up a system that makes it easier to start." So, this week's topic is for you as much as it is for us. What are we habitually doing, or not doing, that is inconsistent with our goals…
As active meditators, we can be quite comfortable alone or left to our own devices for long stretches of time. Solitude is no longer scary. The "need" for a romantic relationship can sometimes be replaced with personal fulfillment and a contentment with life just as it is. It's a pretty sweet place to be. While we look to stay focused on our areas of personal growth, is it fine to remain single and let that be where our time and energy is invested? If so, what happens if how we feel about our single status changes? For some of us, we reach a certain point in life where partnership becomes important (i.e. the desire for marriage and kids or even just to experience companionship). It is here that our personal growth may become tied to growing with someone else. With both options on the table, do we choose to remain single in an effort to maintain a deep and growing spiritual life or does our spiritual life become enhanced with the introduction of relationships...
Has anyone else found themselves taking bad advice from folks who “knew better” or mentally kicked yourself after seeing what happens when you don’t follow your gut? Too many times in our lives we know which path to take, but then, something or someone convinces us otherwise. We’re here to remind you that your intuition is ALWAYS right. The only gap in communication is when we’re not listening to that inner voice. When we take the time to pause and listen, we tap into our natural instincts. These are, by nature, designed to keep us from harm and push us toward our highest potential. It's from this place that we begin to make powerful, life-affirming choices that truly align with what we need. We become okay with knowing that what we’re doing may not look like what everybody else has going on…
You know that moment in Monopoly when you pull the card that says, "advance to go collect 200 dollars"? Well, gratification can feel like that. You get to bypass all of the circumstantial pitfalls to land in a neutral place, where you finally get a reward. While feeling #blessed is gratifying, gratitude is not just a momentary high. It's an emotion, and more importantly, a mindset that lasts long after you've received the initial jolt of joy and fulfillment that accompanies being thankful. And before you roll your eyes and think, "Oh crap, another annoying article about how to be grateful by going out to pet puppies and pick up babies in my spare time," stop and ask yourself if you truly believe you're incredibly lucky to be living your life right now. If the answer is no, then it could be that gratitude is camouflaged by your perspective…
You may or may not have heard the term “influencer marketing” before but it describes a person with the ability to sway thoughts, ideas and even purchasing decisions. Social influence occurs when a person’s emotions, opinions, or behaviors are affected by others (well said Wikipedia, well said). Given this knowledge, how much does what we take in (from influencers, to the food we eat, to the toxic news we ingest) impact our ability to grow? From social media, radio, tv, google, water cooler conversations, food, alcohol, you name it, there is the prevalence to take in something, or at the very least, to be influenced in some way without noticing that it’s happening. This week’s wellness is dedicated to sustaining our progress towards our personal and professional goals by monitoring and consciously choosing what we consume…
In last week's wellness, we talked a lot about how to start living more strategically and really setting up the conditions for our success (both personally and professionally), but what happens when the vision of our long-term goal is obscured by a collection of incorrect assumptions? It's the equivalent of trying to run a race with a twenty-pound backpack – it’s going to slow you down! In assuming that what we want will be hard to get (perhaps based on past experiences or current circumstances), we unintentionally rule out the possibility that, under the right circumstances, our goal is easier to achieve than we think. The point here is, our options come down to what we believe is available. Sometimes, because we've never seen our "it" before - whether that's being financially stable, feeling comfortable in your own skin, being in a healthy relationship, etc. - we don't know what to expect and this "unknown" tends to create unnecessary fear and uncertainty. When we operate out of fear, we naturally move more slowly to avoid pitfalls. How quickly could we move if we believed we were running on a clear path? Fam, it's time to sprint…
For this year, our new year's resolution list should include: stop making resolutions and start putting boots on the ground in service of our vision and life goals. This week's wellness is all about how to build a vision, but more importantly, how to plan the steps to getting there and then actually follow-through on those action steps. The secret strategy here - always be thinking a few moves ahead! This is the year to boss up and stop playing our lives like it's checkers, when it's actually chess…
Since Winter is a time of reflection, we found ourselves looking back at all the great topics we've covered in 2017. We received such a warm reception from our readers and we hope these letters have either reinforced what you already know, awakened your secret superpower or maybe even taught you a thing or two about how to use your secret sidekick for 2018. This past year, we've covered everything from how to change your story to building a kick-ass squad and even how to fail gracefully. We often talk about how to incorporate wellness into our daily lives, and if we're honest, your Black Zen team has recently been so hard at work that we haven't taken our own advice. We are always encouraging you all to know what you need and make choices accordingly, so it's our turn to walk the walk and take a much needed break. This holiday season, it's all about laying low and giving ourselves time to re-charge. As we take some time to unwind, we of course will have you in mind and look forward to reaching back out with our January 8th Weekly Wellness. Here's a sneak peek of what you can expect when we kick off another amazing year...
The holiday season is upon us and meditators do the holiday season right! While we may get a bad rap around the social set for being woo-hooey, I assure you some of us know how to turn up! Granted, we do try to be thoughtful about how we navigate our good time. From the holiday parties to the festive meals, we try to rock with a little self-control, a whole lot of joy and make sure we're acknowledging and enjoying the peace of the present moment. So, for the meditation rock stars out there, this week's wellness is all about how to show up for the holiday season as our best self and turn up in true mindful form - being present, joyful and peaceful about all of it…
We’ve all heard the expression, “to thine own self be true,” but what’s implied here is that a “self” has already been clearly identified. How well do we really know ourselves? In many cases, our perception of who we are is dependent, or at least linked, to how others see us. And while sometimes that projection is accurate, who we are is still being curated by someone outside of ourselves. This is where being true to ourselves comes into play. Externally, it can be something as simple as discerning likes and dislikes without social proof. Internally, it’s being aware of and accepting our shortcomings, while still acknowledging our strengths and not letting others dictate what’s possible within that framework…
The holidays are a time to be with our families, either the ones we were given at birth or the ones we’ve chosen over time. This togetherness usually prompts our family to ask – or for us to ask ourselves – “What’s going on in your life?” In certain years we’re able to answer this question clearly, but in most cases, there’s either so much going on that we’re unsure of where to even begin or there's nothing going on and we have zero to share. Once we’re aware of where we are in our lives, it’s much easier to have conversations around what we’re doing. If we think of our lives like seasons, each one requires something different. Once we know which season we’re in, we’re able to move forward with confidence, intention and a newfound patience with our process. After all, that’s how seasons and nature work. The sunset doesn’t get pissed when the stars come out and the leaves don’t curse the tree when it’s time for them to fall. It’s all a part of the process and life will unfold as it should…
Call us nerds, but we've always found the idea of a treasure hunt exciting! Even as far back as elementary school, choose your own adventure books seemed like the most fun and interesting ones to read. So, it's probably not much of a surprise that our team is currently obsessed with escape rooms. And in true Black Zen form, we knew we had to share some of our insights and discoveries since there were so many great parallels to life. In our very first excursion, we learned a lot about how to play the game and these following tips may help you out as you navigate life, new adventures, your next career move, or all the above…
In a world full of noise, both figuratively and literally, sometimes silence is golden. It can be the most powerful tool at our disposal and, even though it can feel counter-intuitive at first, over time it creates a peaceful stillness that is unshakeable even in the most trying of circumstances. Meditation, in its simplest form, is the practice of intentionally quieting the mind. It’s finding stillness amidst our busy schedules and opening ourselves up to the possibility of living more full, peaceful and balanced lives. This week’s wellness is full of tips, tricks, and things to remember as you start or navigate your way through your own meditation practice…
Almost every superhero movie starts with the main character not knowing just how badass they are. It takes some major circumstance of threat or danger to bring out the latent abilities that were inside them all along, and often they are delighted and surprised at their own strength and super human qualities. They begin stepping into their destiny as soon as they discover their hidden powers. If we really think about it, this sounds a lot like the plot twists of our own lives. Turns out, we're all just superheroes walking around ready to save the world, or maybe just someone, when the time comes. Once we know our power and learn how to harness it and use it wisely, we step into our destiny. And that, is when the story gets good…
From my vantage point at the base of the mountain looking up, I saw a circular object start to roll down. It only took a moment to realize I was standing at the bottom of the path and so inevitably this rock would crash right into me. I should mention it never occurred to me to move, as if there was some reason I needed to stay there and see how this all played out. Just before the collision, a light breeze blew by and the rock was quickly swept away into another direction. As it drifted by, I realized it wasn't a rock at all. It was a hollow, nearly weightless tumbleweed. And this got me thinking, how often do we treat situations in our life as if they are massive rocks when they are actually more like hollow tumbleweeds…
Out of all the Jim Rohn quotes, one of our favorites is "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Truer words were never spoken. At Black Zen, we consistently look for ways to create the best conditions for our success and our peace, and the most important factor we've found in achieving this has been surrounding ourselves with amazing, ambitious and authentic people who inspire us to be our best. And while there was so much good advice to choose from in this week's articles, we've narrowed it down to the top 3 types that are crucial to have in your friend squad...
So many aspects of life can be difficult to comprehend while you’re in the throes of living in it. To make sense of it all, sometimes having a larger perspective on life is key. But how do we step back far enough to see the forest when we’re hacking our way through the trees? Sometimes the wisest piece of advice comes from those who have already lived it, and the best thing we can do is listen and learn. People who have been through and “seen some thangs” offer us the ability to learn without having to go through all the muck ourselves. That said, we’re devoting this Weekly Wellness to sage advice. And to our surprise, the best advice comes from the most unlikely sources…
With all of the books and articles about how to work on relationship goals, for this week's wellness we sought out to find advice that was not only novel in its simplicity, but actionable tips that could easily be applied and provide immediate results to any relationship. Whether you're in the honeymoon phase, trying to relight the spark with your significant other, or secretly wishing you had a bae to apply these tips to, there is something in here for you! We found delightful and surprising advice on love that will help all your relationships- romantic or otherwise...
Our prescription for getting back on track and aligning our to-do list with what we say we want is simple - STOP. Stop trying to fit it all in. Stop trying to squeeze the minutes out of every day and trying to read email while watching tv, cooking, and multi-tasking in general. Since none of us have figured out how to add more hours to the day, it makes sense that something will eventually have to give. We can't do it all in one day and being busy doesn't necessarily mean we're moving forward. If our to-do list don't move us closer to our ultimate goals, then what was the point of all that time and energy spent…
Failure and success are more linked than we think and the word failure can be turned on its head and actually used to launch and motivate yourself. It is one thing to fail, and quite another to fail forward into the next opportunity to learn or travel a new avenue that presents itself as a result of what seems (at the time) to be a setback. What we’ve found to be true in the articles this week is that despite the initial sting, the blessing of failure leaves us nowhere to go but up…
There are plenty of times in our lives where taking in too much of the news, interacting with difficult bosses or co-workers, or even just the internal pressure we create for ourselves when tackling our never-ending to-do lists can start to put our minds and bodies in a hyper-charged state of stress and anxiety. It’s a feeling where every nerve in our bodies is at attention and we feel like we need to be “on” all the time since disaster could be anywhere. For some of us, we may even live in neighborhoods or homes that are filled with volatile behavior where someone could pop off at any moment. In this week’s wellness we uncover how to stay peaceful and happy in the midst of these trying situations and give practical tips on effective stress management. We even share advice from a certified bomb disposal expert (who has the epitome of a stressful job!) on how to stay calm despite any circumstance…
It’s Labor Day and a perfect time to start relaxing if you’ve been an uptight person recently or if you’ve been in a great place and want to keep the good vibes and energy flowing. In this week’s wellness we start off with a quick read illustrating how subtle patterns and ways of thinking can negatively affect our mood, and how a one-word shift can give us the attitude adjustment needed to positively affect our circumstances and change our outlook on everything. Since the energy we give off has the power to attract obstacles or optimism, let’s make sure we give ourselves the power to decide which one…
As ambitious and driven people it makes sense that we are constantly working towards our goals with feverish passion and a clear eye on the prize, but what happens when all we end up doing is working, wanting more and grasping for the next thing? Do we totally miss our lives as they are happening because we’re busy grasping at straws and concerning ourselves with what it “could” look like or “should” be? In this week’s wellness, we encourage you to stop striving for success long enough to genuinely experience the journey and enjoy life. As soon as we loosen our grip on what we think our outcome has to look like or how we think our opportunities will show up, we open ourselves up to an incredible opportunity to receive all the other possibilities available. We also free ourselves to enjoy our ‘right now’ just as much as the ‘it’s going to be great when’…
Once we understand that thoughts become things and that some of our thoughts aren’t doing us any favors, the next step is to intentionally create new ways to see ourselves and change how we talk about our experience. In Victim to Victor, there’s a crazy story that you must read to believe (or listen to the podcast for the cliff’s notes version)! The story has an interesting conclusion about how the writer didn’t realize she was being a drama queen until someone else pointed it out. To be fair, is was a pretty crazy set of circumstances so it makes total sense that she needed some time to process all the details. However, it did get us thinking, if so much of how we experience meaning in our life has to do with how we tell our story – why not make it a good one…
This week’s wellness is all about openness, and since honesty is the best policy, I’ll go first. I hit a wall last week. I got some news that was as surprising as it was disappointing. I let one thing send me into an all-out internal panic, until I finally gave myself permission to land. It was time to change and growth finally pushed through all the angst. Even though the news I received was as surprising and shocking as it was disappointing, I was stuck in that place until a great friend of mine (none other than my sister) shared something with me that totally changed the game...
The definition of success can be a bit tricky. Truth is, it’s so relative since we all have different goals in life and our goals and objectives can change as we’re living it. Sometimes we can unintentionally measure our progress against a ruler that consists of social media likes, familial expectations, personal ambition and an imaginary timeline of when we are supposed to “arrive.” Because we also feel many of the same pressures of life, we won’t simplistically tell you not to think about those things. Instead, consider a quarter-turn on your perspective…