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We are introducing a brand new subseries on the show, COLLEAGUES ON THE COUCH! We'll be talking with mental health professionals about their experiences in the field. For this debut episode, we're chatting with horse dancer/crack shot/Anthony's cousin Dr. Ashley Zultanky! Come for the family gossip, stay for the breakdown of Captain America!

Colleagues on the Couch - Dr. Ashley Zultanky

• Intro
  • New subseries - we interview MH professionals about their work in the field
• Questions
  • What is your origin story? (What got you interested in mental health?) (3:48)
  • What is your superpower? (What is your strength/focus as a MH professional?) (7:24)
  • How do you find the balance of what to bring into a session vs what to keep out? (15:14)
  • What’s your kryptonite? (biggest complaint about the current MH system) (22:51)
  • What’s your Lantern Oath? (a mantra/phrase/thing that keeps you from burning out?) (35:44)
  • What’s your greatest nemesis? (not a person, just a personal item that remains an ongoing problem/challenge) (40:22)
  • What’s your legacy or superteam? (Who are the people who inspire you, are a part of your sphere of influence, or who you have mentored?) (49:25)
• Act Matrix discussion (53:39)
• Ending
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

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Issue 194 - Thunderbolt Ross

• Intro

• Captain America: Brave New World reaction coming to Patreon

• Background (1:38)

• General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in The Incredible Hulk #1 (May 1962)
• Lieutenant General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross oversees gamma bomb project that ultimately leads to the creation of the Hulk (Bruce Banner)
• Grew up in a military family, and was focused on serving his country from a young age - joined the Army Air Corps (later Air Force) and worked his way up through the ranks
• Bruce’s growing relationship with Ross’ daughter Betty was a source of frustration and anger for him, as was the recurring nuisance of the Hulk - Ross made it his personal mission to find and destroy the Hulk
• Several times he allied with villains to battle the Hulk, which ultimately led to his dismissal from the military
• Betty and Bruce get engaged, but the Leader turns Hulk savage, and the wedding is called off - Betty later marries Glenn Talbot, and Ross is satisfied that Banner will never be his son-in-law
• When Talbot was captured by the Soviets in a rescue mission to save Ross, his apparent death fractured his relationship with Betty, as well as a demotion at work because of his inability to capture the Hulk
• Betty divorced Talbot and revealed she still loved Bruce - enraged by this, Ross allied with MODOK to have the Abomination kill the Hulk, but Betty caught wind of the plan and accused her father of treason - he was discharged from the Air Force and nearly committed suicide
• When Bruce and Betty get married, Ross shows up at the wedding with a gun to stop the ceremony - Rick Jones intervenes and is shot non-fatally
• In a SHIELD experiment he merges with Zzzax, a being of sentient electrical energy - in a battle with a mutant, he expends his energy to save Betty, and dies
• His body was resurrected by the Leader, and he rejoins the Air Force
• After Betty is killed by the Abomination and Hulk is exiled by the Illuminati, Ross sinks into an alcoholic depression - when Steve Rogers is shot, he is visited by MODOK and the Leader and offered a chance to gain Hulk-like powers - he then becomes Red Hulk, and his first act is to kill the Abomination for murdering Betty
• Ross’ identity as the Hulk is kept secret for over two years before being revealed during World War Hulks
• He later joins the Avengers, where he befriended an LMD named Annie that helped give him some perspective and understanding about things
• Temporarily bonds with both the Venom symbiote and the Spirit of Vengeance, becoming a being known as the Circle of Four - this is to defeat Blackheart, son of Mephisto

• Gets depowered by Doc Green, a super-intelligent version of the Hulk

• Issues - Theme is “a small river flowing long enough becomes a canyon” (7:10)

• When tradition becomes a trap
• Overprotective of his daughter (13:44)

• Oh yeah, the Hulk stuff (25:15)

• Break (29:06)

• Plugs for Play Comics & Geek Peak

• Treatment (30:19)

• In-universe -

• Out of universe - (32:37)

• Skit (39:51)

• Hello General Ross, I’m Dr. Issues. - Doctor, with all due respect, let’s set the record straight. I didn’t come here for treatment. I came here for a clean bill of health. I’ve been involved in enough government missions, secret protocols, and super-powered expeditions that I should be the last one to hide from any flaws. I’m not perfect, but I don’t have to be. And that was before I learned about getting red in the face.
• Well, that is a hot start, General -I don’t do jokes, if you don’t mind. There are serious matters at hand.
• But you…I’ll keep that in mind. Sheesh. There are always serious matters at hand. That’s how the world works. That doesn’t mean they all have to involve you. -Agreed. I pick my spots. But those are enormous spots. I know my enemy better than they know themselves. That’s what’s lacking in battles nowadays. The foe has no concept of planning. So many people think being random makes you dangerous. It just makes you a fool.
• Well, not to sound condescending, but I doubt all of your plans go the way you want them to. -A plan is useless. PLANNING is indispensable. Do you know who said that?
• Dwight Eisenhower. So you enjoy the process necessary to reach goals, and not just the goal itself. -If I didn’t then I would have stopped existing a long time ago. I think people get that wrong about me. They think I’m some madman that wants to destroy the Hulk at all costs.
• And that was wrong…how? -I was never a madman. I’m calculating the whole way through.
• The heat thing says otherwise -Emotion in battle, Doctor. It’s something you can’t wrap your head around. Oh yeah, I get the rage, but in the fog of war, that can be the guide to see you through. No hippie woo woo love fest is going to save you when bullets are zipping and bombs are dropping. The only time you bring in God is to say “Thank God it’s over” and you’ve won.
• You present more demure than expected. -You sound like one of those Gen Z types when you say that. You’re a grown man. Act like it.
• So no social media memes; understood sir. But are you really past everything that’s listed in your file? Banner? Betty? Intelligencia? Avengers? It says here your own likeness was killed! None of that sounds traumatic to you? -Of course it does. So what? We all have trauma. I used to let it eat at me, just shove it down my own throat, and let it all come out when the time is right. But with what I have now, there’s no secrets. It’s on my skin, in my veins, and radiating through the air. I finally found a way to have nothing to hide. My choices, my fights, my consequences. Anything to add to that?
• You’re hitting the same note. What brings you enjoyment? How about sadness? Do you have any fears left? -You’re breaking the cardinal rule; you’re supposed to ask one question at a time. I’m sad that too many people think too small for their entire lives. I find joy in being one of the few living creatures to destroy multiple so-called badasses because I can adjust tactically and not be held down by magical thinking. I fear that anything less than a perfect rating in this assessment will leave me with a permanent mark that will have me use your office as a rage room.
• pause Didn’t you shoot someone at your daughter’s wed -interrupting RAGE. ROOM.
• You don’t have to be so pushy about it. -So, are you slapping the PTSD label on like everyone else?
• No, I’ll think outside the box and go I-G-E-D. -What the hell is that?

• Intermittent Gamma Explosive Disorder -Groans Doc Samson was right about you.

• Ending (43:41)

• Recommended reading: World War Hulks
• Next episodes: DerpyCon panel, Colleagues on the Couch w/ Dr. Ashley Zultanky, Shadowman
• Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Incredible Hulk episode with Popcorn Psychology - Anthony (2:00)
• “Calm Down” by Busta Rhymes & Eminem - Anthony (30:38)

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WE'RE BACK!!! Season 12 kicks off the same way Season 11 ended - chatting with our good friends Allen & Will about their latest Kickstarter campaign. Plus Anthony explains the sudden hiatus. All this and more - LISTEN NOW!!!

• Intro
  • GonnaGeek promo for Smoking & Drinking in Space/Capes
  • Howard Mackie plug
• Background

• Welcome back for Season 12!

• Horus in Hell 3

  • Kickstarter - figurine bonuses (20:25)
  • Variant covers (26:53)
  • Future planned out? (30:05)
  • Mostly Dead (32:03)
  • Next campaign? (33:51)
• Ending
  • Plugs for social (42:13)
  • thetophatstudios.substack.com - Allen & Will’s Substack
  • Upcoming episodes: Thunderbolt Ross, Colleagues on the Couch debut

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Our old friends are back from hell... Allen & Will return to promote their latest Kickstarter for Pocus Hocus 6, plus reveal some more upcoming projects. Grab your top hat and magical rabbit, and listen now!

• Intro
  • GonnaGeek promo for Play Comics
  • Erica Schultz plug
• Background

• How have you been since last time?

• Pocus Hocus 6

  • Pocus - issues with his father (8:40)
  • Emily - why does she stick around? (13:22)
• Break for promo plug - Ocho Duro Parlay Hour (17:30)
• Back to Pocus 6
  • Will finally makes it to the show
  • Lily - when will we learn more about her background? (21:30)
  • Hugo - discussion about his nature (23:15)
  • Horus - what’s going on with him? (29:40)
• Other stuff
  • Deacon Dan (33:37)
  • One Sunday Afternoon (35:08)
  • The Herald (36:10)
  • Kickstarter incentives (43:34)
• Ending
  • Plugs for social (45:38)
  • thetophatstudios.substack.com - Allen & Will’s Substack

References:

• “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” by Janet Jackson - Anthony (2:26)
• Lily von Shtupp - Anthony (20:58)

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https://capesonthecouch.com/issue-193-wonder-woman/https://capesonthecouch.com/?p=1574

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We're going transcontinental for this one, as we talk to Nigerian creator Murewa Ayodele about his upcoming book STORM! One of the most cinematic stories you'll ever hear, and it's not in a comic book - listen now!

• Intro

• Background

  • How did you get into comics? (1:45)
  • What is the Nigerian comic scene like?

• MK: BWB - hilarious short about “Egyptian stuff” - where’d you come up with the idea? (11:45)

• I Am Iron Man (18:55)
  • Very cool conceit for the series - how much research did you do, and why did you pick the eras/stories that you chose?
  • Damn you for making me cry with #3 right after laughing my ass off at Mojo
  • DEXTER’S LAB REFERENCE IN #4 YOU ARE AMAZING
• Akogun: Brutalizer of Gods (28:02)
  • One of the most badass titles I’ve ever heard in my life
  • Yoruba mythology is fascinating - what inspired the combination of western ideas with African roots?
• Storm (34:24)
  • How much of the recent X-stuff do you have to know about to pick this one up?
  • Ororo is such a complex character - how do you decide knowing which parts of her to focus on?
  • Favorite trait of hers? Favorite character flaw? (40:00)
  • How are you honoring her Kenyan heritage? (46:52)
  • Thoughts on some of the online discourse surrounding Ororo’s home (50:38)
  • One of the most iconic & fashionable characters in Marvel - how much effort is/was put into discussions & designs of her wardrobe?
  • How far out in advance do you have stories mapped?
• Fan questions (57:29)
  • Antoine Dodson, @worldofantoine, asks: Since they are working to heighten Storm’s profile in the larger marvel universe again, could we see any crossover stories or events centering around Storm in the future?
  • @butterflykyss asked: Ororo is slated in this run to be earth's protector which is pretty awesome. However, Gaia, I would presume, believes that title is more appropriate in describing her. Any chance the two will cross paths?
  • Sorcerer Supreme, @mysticalme337, asks: Admittedly I've asked Mr. Ayodele this before, but if he had to have Ororo team up with Doc Strange, what dynamic would he have for them?
  • Kimmi, @SeleneGallio616, asks: What has been the best part in imaging what Ororo’s story after Krakoa would be? And what has been the biggest inspiration for her fashion sense?
  • Ororo Munroe, @Storm54737952, asks: In relation to this image, can we associate that this spear is made of Light... not a simple light, but rather a light linked to the House of Ideas, the divine light, the Light of TOAA? after all, she will face Oblivion!
  • Jug, @jugtbwjwsu, asks: Is there gonna be any chances of Storm seeing her Grandparents again?
  • Sky Breaker, @dsolomon83, asks: Any armoring in the new suit? Bulletproofing, knife proofing, laser proofing etc.
• Anything else in the fire?
• Ending
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Mojo episode - Anthony (24:34)

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It's our SEASON 11 PREMIERE! We bring back Jeremy Whitley for the FOURTH TIME to discuss his new OGN, Navigating With You. How did he manage to take Anthony & Doc's real-life high school friendship and turn it into a YA lesbian romance? Listen to find out!

• Intro
• Background

• What have you been up to since the Dog Knight?

• Navigating With You (4:21)

  • What was the impetus for this story?
  • Did you realize you basically wrote me & Doc, except girls?
  • Love inclusive writing, a Jeremy specialty
  • THANK YOU for acknowledging disability tragedy porn without falling victim to it
  • The impact Josh has on Gabby, and her development over the arc, just chef’s kiss
  • Super Navigator Nozomi - story within the story - when did you decide to write a manga within a comic? How hard was it to condense the story into a handful of pages for each volume? (27:37)
  • What was the biggest thing you wanted to fit in there that was just for you & yours, knowing other people might or might not “get it” but you had to have in the story? (36:48)
• Any new stories coming up?
• Ending
  • Plugs for social
  • Jeremy’s website

References:

• Macho Man “Cream of the Crop” interview - Anthony (33:32)

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Anthony recently made an appearance on a panel at Jersey City's Black Comic-Con 2024, and now you can listen to the presentation live! Fascinating discussions, great audience questions, and a beautiful environment all led to this - listen now!

Transcript

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We make our Shenanicon debut with our long awaited panel on Baccano! What makes these immortal mafioso interesting? Tune in to find out!

• Intro

  • Who is Capes on the Couch?
  • What is Baccano?

• Characters

  • Czeslaw Meyer - tortured and distrusting of anyone & everyone, ESPECIALLY immortals
  • Ladd Russo - psychopathic manchild with a… unique moral code (16:18)
  • Firo Prochainezo - the cutest, politest mob boss you’ll ever meet (20:26)
  • Jacuzzi Splot - he’ll kick your ass, right after he gets done crying about it (23:30)
  • Claire Stanfield - solipsism to its (logical?) conclusion
  • Szilard Quates - what does he want? Yes (32:48)
  • Q&A portion (37:48)
• Ending
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Darkwing Duck - Anthony (27:00)
• Jamie Madrox episode - Anthony (37:22)

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When Doc is away, Anthony & Allen will play! Allen Dunford returns to talk about the end (?) of the Grandma Chainsaw saga - listen now!

• Intro
• Background
  • Listen to the first 3 episodes if you’re unfamiliar with the GC series

• Grandma Chainsaw 4

  • Where does this issue start? (3:55)
  • Where did you come up with Hazel’s true identity/form? (8:21)
  • SPOILER DISCUSSION (15:00)
  • SPOILER END - Kickstarter bonuses & tiers (34:28)

• Any new stories coming up? (37:15)

• Ending
  • Plugs for social
  • Taking a hiatus during July & August

References:

• GC4 Kickstarter

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Under the cover of a full moon, we shed a light on Jack Russell, WEREWOLF BY NIGHT! How many Warren Zevon references do we fit into this episode? Listen now to find out!

• Intro
  • Apologies for delays in episodes - Doc and I going thru stuff (separately)
  • Reminder that Shenanicon registration is now open - still no word on exact date & time of Baccano panel

• Background (3:13)

  • Jack Russell, Werewolf by Night, created by Roy Thomas, Jeanie Thomas, Gerry Conway, & Mike Ploog in Marvel Spotlight #2 (Feb. 1972)
  • Jacob Russoff is the son of Gregor Russoff, a Transylvanian baron whose ancestor was bitten by a werewolf working for Vlad Dracula in 1795
  • Gregor acquired the Darkhold and read it, triggering the latent curse and turning him into a werewolf - after he was killed, his wife Laura moved to America and remarried her brother-in-law Phillip Russell, and Jacob became Jack Russell
  • Jack’s curse took effect on his 18th birthday, and shortly thereafter his family’s driver sabotaged his mother’s car to crash under Phillip’s orders - before her death she told Jack the truth about his heritage and made him promise not to take revenge on Phillip (no promise was made about the driver, though…)
  • Spent most of the next few years on the run from the Committee, who wanted to capture him and use him for their own purposes - among the many people hired by the Committee was Moon Knight, who defeated Jack before having a change of heart and teaming up with Jack to escape
  • Spends a chunk of the 80s on a motorcycle driving around the country - after a battle with the Hulk, his father’s spirit tells him he must accept his beastly nature or die; he does, and gains control over his transformation and abilities
  • Unfortunately his control didn’t last, and he began seeing visions of Hell during his transformations - this drove him to alcoholism and suicidal thoughts until he encountered a woman similarly afflicted and under siege by a small town - they killed the leaders and agreed to help each other live free
  • He was given a vaccine by Michael Morbius that helped him regain control, and he joined the Midnight Sons - his new mindset was that of acceptance, and he was determined to find other “monsters” around the world and help them the way he had been helped - this includes Rahne Sinclair’s son, who she rejected because the child was feral
  • He had his head blown off by Deadpool after Wade found him in bed with his wife - he survived, but it took some time for his head to grow back

• Issues - Theme is “a sheep in wolf’s clothing” (7:46)

  • Finally reached an acceptance of his werewolf nature, even if the world hasn’t
  • Formerly suicidal alcoholic (14:10)
  • A drifter who’s unattached to any one place for too long (24:28)
• Break (32:12)
  • Plugs for I Am Your Target Demographic and Hops Geek News
• Treatment
  • In-universe - Treat yo self
  • Out of universe - Focus on the addiction issues first, and then work on the other things
• Skit (41:40)
  • Hello Jack, I’m Dr. Issues. - Hi. Man, I could have used you a long time ago.
  • pause Thaaanks? So, what can I do for you…now? - Just hear me out. I’ve hesitated to do any therapy because I didn’t think anyone would listen.
  • Oh, so my reputation precedes me. -You never answered my calls or emails.
  • I can be scant in my availability, yes. But that should be a deterrent, right?. -Every review I read said that you are the most patient psychiatrist they’ve ever met, but you’re hard to track. I like that. Maybe you can tolerate my story.
  • My goal is more than tolerance. I want patients to thrive. But sometimes you have to crawl, then walk, then run. -You got that right! So I did my homework. I know this is confidential as long as I’m not a threat, right?
  • Yup. -Well, what if I told you that there’s only a certain number of nights where I was a threat, but I kept everyone safe with an airtight plan? Makes sense, right?
  • I guess -interrupting and what if I told you that I even went so far as to meditate to harness my rage in a form that was productive. Are you with me?
  • Is this a metaphor for male menopause or -interrupts again Heck man, I even found a, uh, “alternative healer” to basically cure me. This is some wild stuff, huh?
  • You sound like an infomercial right now. What is your angle? Are you trying to promote some woo-woo healthy positivity or what? I’m confused. You’re way more upbeat than I thought you’d be. I just scrolled through your emails -Better late than never
  • Interrupting No wonder I blew you off. You sent me an autobiography that reads like Ann Rice decided to make out with Kafka. -pause So a bit melodramatic?
  • Therapy is supposed to be more than just venting. You say you have all of these tools to…wow this is long…survive with lycanthropy?! You could have just said “I’m a werewolf.” -Well you always use those vocab words in your writing so I was trying to match you. And how dare you try to shame a patient. I’ve come a long way, you know!
  • No shame, no blame. Just…sigh I get this a lot. You want to connect on a human level. That’s awesome. I’m impressed, because you’re clearly putting the proper energy into this. But there IS a way to swing too far on that pendulum. I want to be your trusted professional, but I’m not your buddy. There’s a difference. Let’s focus on your accomplishments so far, since that’s your focus out of the gate. -Cool! First off, I survived a family that sometimes turned feral. Lots of reconciliation.
  • Great. -I am on the sober path.
  • Wonderful. -I can live in my own skin…and fur.
  • Check. -No, further east than that.
  • Huh? -Nevermind, bad joke.
  • Not rushin ya -Huh?
  • Even worse joke. -snaps fingers You DO have a bright side.Anywho, what I’m trying to say is, I don’t have everything figured out. But I’ve taken care of the boulders. Now I need to take care of the smaller rocks, the pebbles…you get it?
  • Yup. Much better clarity. I’ll take you on as a patient under one condition -No werewolf?
  • How’d you guess? -Just a hunch. Oh, and here’s my local pharmacy.
  • I don’t think you need a prescription -It’s the only one I know willing to incorporate silver compounds.
  • pause Welp, that’s either a dark backup plan, or the wickedest joke of this encounter. simultaneously WHY NOT BOTH?
• Ending (46:03)
  • Recommended reading: Legion of Monsters
  • Next episodes: Storm, Wonder Woman, Shadowman
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

Transcript

References:

• “BBL Drizzy” - Anthony (2:23)
• Shenanicon 2024 - Anthony (2:50)
• “Werewolves of London” - Doc (8:55)
• “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone” - Doc (25:30)
• SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE - Anthony (36:00)
• “Hair of the Dog” - Anthony (46:40)

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We bring back friend of the show Allen Dunford to talk about his new baby daughter! I'm sorry, we bring him back to talk about his doctoral thesis! Wait, I mean we discuss his latest Kickstarter campaign THE HERALD!

(And we also talk about those other things...) Listen now!

The Herald #1: A Supernatural Western by Allen & Will — Kickstarter

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It's time to swim in the Deadpool and do the DEATHSTROKE! Some people would give their left eye for an episode like this. Those people probably need help just like Slade. Listen now!

• Intro - Jeremy Whitley
  • Apologies for the delay

• Background (2:18)

  • Deathstroke (Slade Wilson) created by Marv Wolfman and George Pérez in The New Teen Titans #2 (Dec. 1980)
  • At 16, he lied about his age to join the Army during the Korean War, and later met his wife, Captain Adeline Kane - after they married, they had three children: Grant, Joseph, and Rose
  • Subjected to an experiment where he was injected with a substance that drastically increased his healing, as well as giving him expanded use of his brain’s capacity #BecauseComics
  • Started working as a mercenary, keeping his business private from Adeline, until a criminal kidnapped Joe to blackmail Slade - although Slade killed the criminal, Joe’s throat was sliced, destroying his vocal cords and rendering him mute - this angered Adeline, who shot Slade through the right eye
  • Grant took a contract to kill the Teen Titans, but died after an experiment to give him superhuman abilities - Slade vowed vengeance on the Titans, blaming them for Grant’s death, but was defeated
  • The Judas Contract - Slade used Terra to infiltrate the Titans, then once he learned their identities and weaknesses, systematically went after each of the Titans - Joseph joined with Nightwing to possess his father, and after Terra died, Slade was captured
  • After that, Slade occasionally worked alongside the Titans while still working as a merc - he was forced to mercy kill Joseph, who was a Titan known as Jericho and was possessed by the souls of Azarath
  • Gave Adeline a blood transfusion which drove her insane, and she tried to kill all metahumans, blaming them for Jericho’s death - when she requested a mercy kill, Slade refused but Starfire obliged, and he cut ties with the Titans
  • Jericho possessed Slade right before his death, and used Slade’s body to enact revenge on all the Titans - this led to Slade training Rose, his last remaining child, to kill Jericho, but his methods drove her insane
  • Was responsible for the destruction of Bludhaven and killing over 100,000 people to mentally destroy Nightwing - he was defeated by Batman, Robin (Tim), and Nightwing
  • New 52 - reboots Slade as a mercenary who lost his eye in a terrorist attack, and after his sons and wife were killed, he goes on a rampage to protect Rose
  • Dies in Rebirth after being killed by Red Arrow

• Issues - Theme: Being too smart for your own good doesn’t have to turn out this bad! (9:59)

  • Kids: They’re a handful, am I right?
  • Intellectualization as an isolator
  • The definition of “Enough” (26:05)
• Break (35:58)
  • Plugs for Sips Suds & Smokes and Frigay the 13th
• Treatment (37:57)
  • In-universe - Give him a protection contract and make him honor it
  • Out of universe - So many examples with real-life veterans (41:35)
• Skit (49:29)
  • Hello Deathstroke, I’m Dr. Issues. -Hello, Doctor. pause This is unusual and I don’t like it.
  • Well, therapy or counseling isn’t always meant to be fun, and lots of people hate going to the doctor, so -interrupting Not like that. I’ve been a wanted man for ages. You’ve seen patients like me in confined areas before. Yet you let me waltz in without a hint of security. No shackles, no guards, not even a warning. That doesn’t make sense. I can only draw 2 conclusions. Either you are requesting my services, in which case you have no need for safety, or you have an unknown unknown, which uncharacteristically would put me at a disadvantage.
  • I’m sure you’ve read my profile. -From the “exposure” you had a while back, sure. Very sloppy, and yet cleaned up as if it never happened. Your current information is modest on networks but still acclamatory. But I’m sure you are referencing my ability to infer that you are a pacifist and would never entrust my means. Very well. I will take this session at face value. Humanity is full of idiots, you’re no different.
  • That is quite the exposition and non sequitur simultaneously. I’ll bite. What’s wrong with humanity, and how does that affect you? -It’s hard to act with perfection when you can’t let morons know you are imperfect. I can exploit anyone I want. Sometimes it’s pleasurable. It’s certainly profitable. But I’m not above petty revenge. I’ve loved before. I hate even more. And yet, only one of those goes unrequited for long. No one will pity a mercenary.
  • You don’t deserve pity. No one does. -pause, genuine shock Too Machiavellian of a phrase for a Hippocratic practitioner.
  • Too quick of a process for the smartest man in the room. No one deserves pity. They deserve grace, honesty, and empathy, the ratios of which can be seen as enlightening, punishing, and rewarding, depending on the circumstances. The chase is beneath you. By your own account, I’M beneath you. So why bother? Money? Really? -If I have mastered the rules of a game, then I should be able to keep my own scoreboard at my whim. But I have other motivations, and yes, I will admit that they are just as basic as any other ahem family man. I don’t pretend to be stereotypical in my reactions, but I mourn my losses, too.
  • I feel like this is all a test of my wits. I have to prove to you I’m worthy of your time. You could have ended this…take of that what you will…at any point. Do you really think I have some sort of ace up my sleeve? -Unlike you, I don’t use the colloquial “I feel” To substitute for “I think.” And yes, I think…haha, I KNOW you have me scouted. Anything less and you are a trusting fool.
  • Try me. -I know you’ve encountered the Titans before. I created a diversion so they will be too busy searching for a fake battle hundreds of miles away. You are alone.
  • Am I? -I know about your latest burner phone. All signals from this office are blocked. It’s a brick, now. No bats will be in this belfry.
  • Um…well… -Surely that can’t be it, right? You have more to deliver to test my mettle? The archer? The Martian? The big blue buffoon?
  • Don’t call me Shirley. -Pause You truly are an idiot like all of the rest.
  • Cool, then you don’t have to waste your energy on killing me. -You’re not a mark. That’s the only reason you’re still breathing.
  • I’ll take it! -As if you have a choice. Pathetic. door opens as he’s about to leave
  • Oh, and Mr. Wilson, I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to intimidate someone who is genuinely trying to help you. It makes you look like a casual jerk instead of a ruthless assassin. Amongst the government agencies, interstellar factions, extradimensional rulers, and plain ol’ folks who want to see you suffer, I might be your only chance of living any semblance of a peaceful life. I’m risking my existence by talking to you and keeping my vow of confidentiality only if you mean what you just said, because I can have a clear conscience that you are a shrewd butthurt businessman rather than the essence of evil that those who conspire against you would want me to believe. I figured all of that out without anyone telling me a single word. So I may not be a queen on your chessboard, but I damn sure am NOT a pawn. -Do you
  • interrupting Slade. -pause All you had to say was my name, and we could have avoided the banter. No contacts, please, unless I come to you.
  • Now we have an agreement. Goodbye.
• Ending (54:49)
  • Recommended reading: Judas Contract
  • Next episodes: Storm, Wonder Woman, Shadowman
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Teen Titans Go! To the Movies - Anthony (1:45)
• Dennis the Menace - Anthony (3:02)
• Terra episode - Anthony (5:35)
• “Cats in the Cradle” by Harry Chopin - Anthony (8:28)
• The Simpsons - Homer’s half-assed overparenting “Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy” - Doc (14:04)
• Hamilton:
  • “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story” - Anthony (32:43)
  • “That Would Be Enough” - Anthony (33:14)
  • “Satisfied” - Doc (38:33)
• Cast Away - Doc (58:35)

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We sit down for the SIXTH time with writer Erica Schultz in advance of the release of Rat City. Get comfy, folks, this is our longest creator interview yet - almost TWO HOURS LONG!

• Intro
• Background
  • What would it take to get you on a Marvel ongoing?
  • Dream character & artist/team?

• X-23: Deadly Regenesis

  • Why go back to this period of Laura’s life?
  • Created Haymaker, a transmasc non-binary MMA fighter, as the main villain - how did that come about? (21:20)

• Hallows Eve (28:31)

  • New evolution for Janine Godbe/Elizabeth Tyne/Mary Bailey/Sarah Porter
  • Powered masks: did you come up with the masks first and then their impact on story, or was it “what’s the story?” and then work the masks in?
• What If: Dark Moon Knight (34:08)
  • How did you select this particular jumping off point? Moon Knight vs. Bushman happens so many times, why this one?
  • Nice to see Marlene take an active role in a MK story, even if it’s not necessarily clean
• Daredevil: Gang War (50:06)
  • Previously written Matt as Daredevil, now Elektra: how to write legacy characters with different voices
  • What’s it like working on an event tie-in? How much freedom do you have for story you want to tell within obvious constraints, how much editorial oversight, etc?
• Rat City (77:15)
  • How did you get this gig?
  • Spawn cover for Deadliest Bouquet, now an actual Spawn book!
  • What led to this expansion of the Spawn universe?
  • How much do you have to understand Spawn to follow this story?
  • Love the commentary on soldiers being chewed up & spit out, flaws of capitalism, etc.
• Any new stories coming up?
  • Blood Hunters & Darth Maul Black White & Red: - more Marvel mini/tie-ins
• Ending
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Erica’s website
• Erica’s interview on ITK - Anthony (34:19)
• Key & Peele - Text Message Confusion - Erica (57:10)
• Dirty Dancing “I carried a watermelon” - Erica (65:17)

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After months of talking about it, we finally get overridden with guilt and break down ROBBIE BALDWIN! Whether Speedball or Penance, this rapid-fire hero has no shortage of issues - listen now!

• Intro
  • SIX YEARS!!!
  • New subseries: Colleagues on the Couch, where we interview MH professionals about their work in the field

• Background (6:55)

  • Robbie Baldwin (Speedball) created by Steve Ditko and Tom DeFalco in The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #22 (Jan. 1988)
  • Robbie Baldwin is a Connecticut high school student who is bombarded with other-dimensional energy during an accident at a lab he works at - the explosion gives him endless kinetic energy, which also creates a protective force field
  • He calls himself Speedball and begins working as a teenage superhero, coming into conflict with his district attorney father, who despises masked vigilantes
  • He later joins the New Warriors, but his frequent trips to New York to join the team create stress on his home life, and his parents divorce shortly after learning the truth about his abilities
  • Robbie is at the center of Civil War: He and the New Warriors attempt to capture a group of villains, and Nova explodes, killing 612 people including 60 children - Robbie initially was thought dead but was the only survivor - his kinetic field kept him alive, but as a result of the overexertion he loses his powers
  • After being arrested, he is shot in the spine by a father of one of the children killed in the blast - this leads to him changing his mind and registering
  • He has a new suit made, one with 612 internal spikes to cause him constant pain - calling himself Penance, he joins the Thunderbolts, where he is under constant surveillance
  • He stole a SHIELD jet and made his way to Latveria, where he defeated Doctor Doom in combat to get his hands on Nitro, who was being held prisoner there - Robbie placed his spiked suit on Nitro to torture him
  • After Doc Samson was able to make headway with Robbie in several therapy sessions, Norman Osborn had him heavily sedated and manipulated by a therapist to keep him in a mentally fragile state for Osborn’s own machinations - after a battle with some of his former New Warriors teammates, he is able to break free of the conditioning
  • He joins Avengers Academy, calling himself Speedball again, in an effort to seek forgiveness for his previous actions, although he still retains much of the Penance guilt and attitude - after defeating a group of villains at the Stamford memorial site, he quits the Academy and teams up with Justice to reform the New Warriors, where they recruit Sam Alexander among others
  • Joins CRADLE, where he enforces the law preventing anyone under the age of 21 from operating as a superhero

• Issues (14:41)

  • Conflict with his parents over him being a teenage superhero
  • Survivor’s guilt over the Stamford incident (24:50)
  • Severe PTSD (35:29)
• Break (42:44)
  • Plugs for Into the Knight, Comic Book Keepers, and Al Ewing
• Treatment (44:40)
  • In-universe - Focus on other feelings Robbie could have expressed to people
  • Out of universe - (47:01)
• Skit (51:52)
  • Hello Robert, I’m Dr. Issues. -Robert, huh? So I guess this is meant to be that kind of encounter. Hello, doctor.
  • I didn’t mean to infer that your formal name implies a demure tone. I’ve seen Robbie in your chart. Is that preferred? -Whatever floats your boat. You mentioned my chart, so I take it Doc Samson gave you my records? I said it was ok.
  • Yeah, but I don’t dwell on what other doctors have done. Even if they’re literal giants in their field… What can I do for you now? -That’s what’s weird about a meeting like this. I’m not sure I’m in the right frame of mind to get help.
  • That’s either quite insightful or quite dangerous. -Why not both?
  • Fine. Care to elaborate? -Lots of lives lost. I’m involved. I almost die. I lose everything. THAT’S when most people think ‘hey, that guy needs therapy.’ But the focus is on blame. I even do it myself. Work to be done, one way or another. I’m channeling it. Revenge. Yadda yadda, it works.
  • Parts of it work, but go on. -I’m seeing Doc Samson AFTER all of that. Then I get some psychobabble manipulative nonsense, all on accord of some narcissistic bureaucrats that don’t really care about me, and it all comes tumbling down. I STILL work my way out of that mess, and I’m kind of bouncing around ever since. chuckles I swear, I didn’t intend that.
  • Humor is great as a coping mechanism. - I used to think so. My jokes fell flat once people started dying. sighs Doc, do you think people change their personality?
  • If you’re asking for my opinion on multiple persona -interrupting No no no, I just mean…for the longest time, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard so many mental health folks talk about how some personalities can’t be fixed. But I have a problem with that. I don’t think personalities are what YOU people think they are.
  • This is way deeper than I expected. Alright, what’s your theory? -I had a chance to see the world in a new dimension…like, really different. And I realized that it was all just a different way of seeing myself. So when something catastrophic happened, I changed my mind. Now I’m left wondering…why can’t we all do that? What limits a person to who they think they are?
  • I…um…I don’t pretend to know the answer to that. -And that’s why I don’t think I need this kind of help right now. You are probably great at what you do, but you’re looking for illness. I’ve had that mindset too, and it caused me more pain. I don’t want to look for fragility, or loathing, anymore than I already have. I intentionally walked that path with purpose, and even if I can’t get the brightness the way I had it before, I know it’s there.
  • You rebounded well -pause Sooooo, was that your way of bringing levity or…
  • sigh I don’t know man, I can’t quite read the room with you as well as I usually do, so I’m letting it ride. On one hand, congratulations. I’m humbled by your ability to endure disasters and maintain resilience. On the other hand, I’m getting a hint that there’s something always brewing with you under the surface.Doc Samson can be forceful, so he’s the type to challenge head on. I don’t do that. - At least I don’t have to worry about you punching me into the stratosphere when I get pissed off. genuine laugh
  • You have a nice laugh. pause I think I can answer your question better now. I DO think people can change anything they want about themselves within reason. The friction, both internal and external, depends on their motivation, energy, and habits, and support. And, I think that’s true for each particular trait, with a potentially longer timeline for those things that prove to have adverse consequences in the immediate term. -pause Now who’s getting deep?
  • So I’m not pushing you to do anything you don’t want to do. If you are having troubles with transitions, that’s your sticking point. I’m your man. -Naw, the sticking points were for someone else.
  • groan Really? -Sorry, I have a bit of gallows humor in me.
  • Then I think any future sessions are going to go juuuuuuust fine.
• Ending (57:20)
  • Recommended reading: Civil War: Front Line, OR New Warriors Vol. 5
  • Next episodes: Deathstroke, Jack Russell, Storm
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Sam Alexander episode - Anthony (13:21)
• A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood - Anthony (31:08)
• GI Joe parody videos - Anthony (46:06)

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We follow up last episode with the second half of our discussion with writer Phillip Kennedy Johnson - this time we're talking James Bond, John Stewart, and the Incredible Hulk! Plus a meaningful discussion on patriotism, and Anthony & Doc make a pitch to work with PKJ ;)

Creators on the Couch - Phillip Kennedy Johnson 3

• Intro
• Superman
  • One last question: Metallo giving everything for his sister - where did that idea come from?
• James Bond (11:52)
  • Based more in Fleming novels vs. films?
  • Was there a particular Bond you had in mind while writing?
  • What makes him such an enduring character, in light of the constant reboots and takes on him?
  • Admittedly only read first half - could not access God & Country
• John Stewart (23:12)
  • Given your military background, did you gravitate towards John vs. other Lanterns?
  • Focus on John’s family life - mother with dementia and loss of younger sister
  • Revenant Queen - like her speech style (35:18)
  • Obviously it’s ongoing, but how far out do you have mapped storylines?
• Incredible Hulk (39:05)
  • This story is much more monster-oriented than previous Hulk runs - was this intended to shift away from internal/mental focus like the Ewing run?
  • Body horror - story and art focus on the pain and effects of transformation
  • What inspired Charlie? Feels like more than just audience surrogate
• What’s next for you? (52:24)
• Ending
  • Next episodes: Speedball, Deathstroke
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Marvel Team-Up #145 - PKJ (2:55)

GonnaGeek Network

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We're back! And so is Philip Kennedy Johnson! We sit down with PKJ for the second time to talk about his recently wrapped runs on Action Comics & Alien. Listen now!

• Intro

• Apologies for delay in episodes - see blog post for more

• PKJ

• Last time we spoke was Feb. 2021, discussing Last Sons of America, Kill A Man and end of The Last God

• Superman (3:42)

• What was something you wanted to do with Superman that hadn’t been done before?
• Exploration of Clark-Jon relationship - so many emotional moments
• Warworld Saga - why go with Mongul for main villain of storyline?
• Love Osul and Otho - their lack of exposure to anything resembling compassion and love, and the welcoming by the Superman family, is best addition to mythos in a long time
• Superman family gets major focus here - family is thru-line running across the entire arc

• Special point on Kong Kenan and his “defection”

• Blue Earth movement - chef’s kiss

• Alien (22:28)

• Another instance of a father doing anything for his son in first arc
• Was it always the plan to have 3 separate arcs across 2 volumes?

• How much input did you have into Xenomorph designs, or was that all artists?

• Ending (34:00)

• Next episodes: Speedball, Deathstroke
• Plugs for social

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To tie in with the recent release of Aquaman & the Lost Kingdom, we take a look at the man himself, Arthur Curry! We have a whale of a time with this one, and we'll cod to making more than a few fish jokes just for the halibut...

Issue 186 - Aquaman

• Intro
  • Shoutout to Into the Knight, who got a thank you from Jed McKay in the last page of Moon Knight #30

• Background (4:29)

  • Aquaman (Arthur Curry) created by Paul Norris and Mort Weisinger in More Fun Comics #73 (Nov. 1941)
  • Golden Age origin is he is the son of a scientist who lived in the ocean and taught him how to breathe underwater and communicate with & control undersea life
  • Silver Age origin: Arthur Curry, son of Tom Curry & Atlanna, and because of his mixed heritage he has access to several Atlantean abilities, including how to breathe underwater and communicate with & control undersea life
    • This version introduces most of his supporting cast: wife Mera, son Arthur Jr., aka AJ or Aquababy, half-brother & nemesis Ocean Master, Black Manta, and others
  • Post-Crisis origin: Orin, son of Queen Atlanna & the wizard Atlan, he was abandoned by Atlantis and discovered by Tom Curry who eventually dies when he’s a teen, and he returns to Atlantis where he is imprisoned before breaking out and joining the Justice League, where he uses his abilities like how to breathe underwater and communicate with & control undersea life
    • This is the version that loses his hand after it’s eaten by piranhas
    • He is the leader of Sub Diego, an undersea version of San Diego
    • He becomes the Dweller of the Depths to assist the new Aquaman, Arthur Joseph Curry, before dying and later resurrected during Blackest Night/Brightest Day
  • New 52 - Once again the son of Tom Curry & Atlanna, he was raised on land but aware of Atlantis, and when he returns to the sea he is crowned King, but he abdicates to be with Mera and join the Justice League until he’s forced to return to rule over Atlantis despite half the population hating him
    • He finally proposes to Mera at the start of DC Rebirth

• Issues - Theme is fish out of water, then in, then out, then in… (10:34)

  • Reluctant ruler of Atlantis - numerous time he returns to the throne in times of trouble, only to either vacate willingly to help Justice League/other heroes, or be forced to abdicate due to various factors
  • Walks two worlds, but not fully accepted in either (15:36)
  • Loss of a son - created strain on him and Mera (31:47)
• Break (42:02)
  • Plugs for Last Sons of Krypton & SNEScapades
• Treatment (43:50)
  • In-universe - Build a safe space for Aquaman
  • Out of universe - (46:56)
• Skit (53:35)
  • Hello Aquaman, I’m Dr. Issues. Would you prefer…um Arthur? Orin? Your chart has some conflicting information, and my electronic health record merges files quite haphazardly. - Doctor, you can just stick to Aquaman for now then. Most land acquaintances do.
  • Do they now? Ok. So, what can I do for you? -I’m in a state of flux. I’m trying to keep on course. The problem is, I don’t have a map.
  • Are you speaking metaphorically, or is this some sort of buried treasure -snapping I don’t make puns and I need you to take this seriously.
  • gulp My apologies. So, how did you get so lost? -I’m not sure. I have a lot of people counting on me, but when they all ask for help at once they’re like crabs in a barrel. They’re too quick to lionize me as their savior, and too quick to denigrate me as a fake.
  • I’ll admit, that sounds like injustice, and I don’t mean that from a dramatic perspective. The world hasn’t always been fair to you, has it? -Maybe not, but I can’t complain too much. There’s no breathing room. clears throat pardon, but I need to drink some water.
  • Sure, go right sound of a tidal wave or something …ahead. Um, did you have to soak the whole couch? -My kingdom is good for it. You don’t mind barnacles, right?
  • Barnacles, no, but the jellyfish - ignores Anyway, my kingdom…sigh it’s not always my kingdom. Sometimes I want to swim away and never see any of them again. But I won’t abandon my family.
  • Priorities. Got it. You sound like you have a lot of triggers that could exacerbate anxiety and/or depression. Have you experienced any of those symptoms? -Well I’m not the one with the degree, but if you’re referencing eternal sadness, sleepless nights, the sense of dread that your society will be wiped out, and those who know of you before you know them are willing to kill everyone you love for the sake of power so you let your own sense of pride burst forth into a fit of rage that only the mightiest of beings can come CLOSE to matching clearly exasperated but trying to calm down perhaps…I have.
  • I won’t snap to judgment on diagnosis, but you don’t need any labels. Sounds like you’ve had stuff going on for a looooong time. What led you to come to me now? -I’m not sure.
  • You’ve said that more than once. -And I’ve meant it every time. This is the only place I can use a phrase like that and not die.
  • Mostly right, sometimes wrong, but never in doubt. A real Type A mindset. -If that makes the most sense to you, then yes.
  • I’m a buffer zone. That can work, but ultimately you’re going to have to find a way to recreate that in other environments. -Tricky to do when the natural state of those environments are hostile.
  • Are they really, though? I’m not saying you’re wrong, just challenging the assumption. - There’s a not-insignificant portion of my kingdom who believes I was cursed the moment I was born. There’s also a large segment who wishes I would vacate the throne and never return. Not surprisingly, those two segments share a healthy overlap. So when the very people I aim to lead don’t want me in the leadership role, I think it’s fair to say it’s a hostile environment. And that’s ignoring the numerous attempts on my life, the never-ending struggle with my half-brother, the various threats from the surface world…
  • Then you need a huge amount of resiliency, and that doesn’t get built in a vacuum. You mentioned family as your number one priority. Are they integrated into how you process your life, or are they delicate figures you keep sheltered in your mind so you don’t lose them? -I would never refer to them as delicate or sheltered. But I don’t make my personal life a spectacle either. Mera is everything to me…sometimes the only thing.
  • It’s okay to want more than that. -I don’t need more.
  • I specifically didn’t say need. I said want. Aspirations that are your own, even in the midst of external values. -That is such a land dweller thing to say.
  • I confess my biases, yes. But I’m acknowledging your culture as well. I’ll have to learn on the fly how to blend your understanding of how the world works with my own. I embrace that challenge. -pause How far are you willing to go?
  • I don’t know…that’s really vague, and I know that type of question is leading to some discomfort -boldly NO whining! You may be granted a privilege that will change your life, If you are a brave soul.
  • See, I’m a coward, so -dismissive Nonsense! You just need some basic skills. Can you swim?
  • Yes. -Can you hold your breath for at least 2 minutes?
  • What? I don’t know…probably? But if you’re alluding to what I think you are, I don’t think my freediving skills are up to par. -We’re not simpletons. We have equipment; you need to be fit enough for the transition.
  • And this benefits YOU in what way. -If I can show you just how unique our ways are, then you would be able to not only assist me, but also those who question my position. Expand your practice.
  • Can you give me some time to mull this over? I’m not used to someone actually getting so gung ho about my sessions. -I won’t wait forever. If you need to seek council from those who would put your mind at ease, then I understand. You will hear from me shortly.
• Ending (59:57)
  • Recommended reading: Peter David run, with focus on Time & Tide and the Atlantis Chronicles
  • Next episodes: Echo, Speedball, Deathstroke
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network
  • Anthony: That will do it for this episode. Doc?
  • Doc: text message sound Hold on…it’s Aquaman? Huh…’thanks for the introductory session. I know I told you I would contact you shortly, but I am so excited that I did a search on therapy techniques. I think you’ll understand my world better if you engage in flooding. This is NOT a request.” What the hell does that mean? I just go to the beach or the aquarium and water rushing/waves crashing gurgling I guess I should try to keep my head above water for now
  • Anthony: He didn’t have to be so dramatic. For a drowning Dr. Issues, I’m Anthony Sytko, and we’ll see you next time!

References:

• Black Manta episode - Anthony (6:38)
• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome - Anthony (8:54)
• “We Don’t Talk about Bruno” - Anthony (9:20)

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We take our first look at a Flash-affiliated character with Barry Allen's nemesis EOBARD THAWNE! Things go off the rails pretty quickly, but it's ok, because we can just jump to another timeline where everything is fine, and no one will be any the wiser - except for Eobard...

• Intro

• Background (2:05)

  • Eobard Thawne, aka Professor Zoom or the Reverse Flash, created by John Broome and Carmine Infantino in The Flash #139 (Sept. 1963)
  • Eobard Thawne is a scientist from the 25th century, where superheroes are few
  • He becomes obsessed with learning about the Speed Force, but he initially encounters some obstacles until his future self intervenes several times:
    • He was jealous of his younger brother growing up, until his future self prevented Robern from being born
    • and then his future self caused the death of his parents, since they were worried about his obsession
    • He kills another professor who is close to unlocking the secrets of the Speed Force
    • After Eobard falls in love with a reporter, his future self kills her fiance and any man she ever dated - when she still rejected him, his future self went back to her childhood and traumatized her to the point of rendering her mute
  • He becomes obsessed with Barry Allen, to the point of getting cosmetic surgery to resemble him
  • Obtains a Cosmic Treadmill, a copy of the Flash’s costume, and replicates the accident to give himself Flash’s powers - he traveled back to a few years after Barry’s death, and learned that he would become Professor Zoom, the Reverse-Flash, and Barry’s greatest nemesis
  • This caused a psychic break, and Thawne became convinced he was a resurrected Barry Allen, and even managed to convince several of Barry’s friends he was Barry - after attacking several heroes for “forgetting” him, Wally West tricked him into returning to his home time
  • Thawne became obsessed with replacing Barry, to the point of killing Iris West, and when he attacked Fiona Webb, Barry broke his neck and killed him
  • Flash: Rebirth reveals that Thawne is responsible for every tragedy in Barry’s life, including the death of his mother - after killing several speedsters, he announces his connection to the Negative Speed Force, and says he will kill Iris before Barry has a chance to meet her - as Barry and Wally travel backwards in time, they merge into the lightning bolt that originally gave Barry his powers #BecauseComics - Thawne is imprisoned in a device that severs his connection to the Speed Force, removing his powers
  • The broken neck version was resurrected during Blackest Night and then purified by a white light
  • Thawne is the central villain of Flashpoint - when Barry travels back to prevent Thawne from killing Nora West, the resulting timeline is drastically different - Thawne is then killed by the new Batman, and Barry goes back to prevent himself from stopping her murder, which creates a new third timeline
  • Rebirth revises his origin - he’s met in the 25th century by Barry, who prevents him from carrying out further crimes - he is temporarily rehabilitated, until he travels to the past and learns Barry didn’t consider him as much of a friend as he initially thought, so he vows to make Barry miserable until Barry “makes time” for him
  • He’s one of the primary villains of the Button, where he has memories of every timeline, and uses this knowledge to torture Barry, Bruce Wayne, and heroes, until he’s killed by Dr. Manhattan, although he’s resurrected by the negative Speed Force once again
  • Finish Line - Thawne vibrates into Barry, taking over his mind and trapping Barry in the Speed Force - Thawne says he and Barry will forever be trapped in a loop, until Barry forgives him - this confuses Thawne, and Barry is able to reset him in the 25th century, where he is a tour guide at the Flash Museum with no memory of being a villain

• Issues - “Eobard Thawne. The man who reads the Evil Overlord List and reacts with an oblivious bemusement. The man with an absolute pathological need to prove himself superior to everyone around him to the point where even other villains hate his guts. Thawne has spent the last 60 years elevating the concept of the Villain Ball to an almost comical extent, and is fortunately so ridiculously chatty and forthcoming about himself and his feelings that we can easily mine a ton of his many issues from it to figure out why.” (15:56)

  • Absolute obsession with and desire to replace The Flash. Thawne comes from a time when superheroes are thought of as a quaint anachronism, and striving to be one would be like someone today saying their dream was to be a medieval knight. But he idolized the era and The Flash in particular enough to become obsessed with becoming him. After recreating the accident that gave The Flash his super speed and traveling back in time to meet his hero, he found out that his destiny was instead to become The Flash's greatest enemy, and it simply broke him inside. From then on, his entire reason for being became wrapped around inserting himself into Barry's life, alternating between trying to ruin it and trying to usurp it. He tried getting Barry's wife to fall in love with him, tried to take Barry's place in the original accident and become the original Flash, and ultimately settled on using his time travel ability to become the source of every bad thing that ever happened in Barry's life. It's not an exaggeration to say that Thawne does not have or want a life of his own; he actually does want Barry's for himself.
  • Superiority complex. When you think about Eobard Thawne is actually capable of doing, it's a real wonder why he ever fails at anything at all. The man can move at many times the speed of light. He can cross the room and shred your heart before your eyes can even send the signal to your brain that it's happening. He can kill a room full of a hundred people in a hundred different ways before any of them could react. All of which pales in comparison to his mastery of time travel. If anyone or anything is an obstacle to his objectives or even so much as affronts his sight, he can go back in time and completely erase it from existence. That's an actual thing he does with regularity. There is quite literally no goal on any scale he could not achieve with his powers. But that's simply not enough for him. At the moment of every single one of his triumphs, he has to let everyone in earshot know that it was him who did it. He grandstands and gloats about his success, explaining in great detail everything he did, how he did it, and how powerless everyone is to stop him from keeping on doing whatever he wants. Invariably, this winds up with the heroes either having the time to make their move or having the exact information they need to stop him. Thawne didn't invent Evil Monologuing by any stretch, but he's perfected it to an art form. It's a pathology with this man. He has to have you acknowledge his greatness, or he doesn't consider it a victory. There is no limit to what he could achieve if he just didn't care about getting the credit for it. (22:18)
  • Pettiness on a scale hitherto undreamt of. To paraphrase Billy Beane in Moneyball, there's petty, there's that which petty aspires to be, there's fifty additional magnitudes of petty that the English language doesn't have words for, and then there's Thawne. The man responds to personal slights as if they were absolute declarations of war. He has completely erased his younger brother from existence because he thought his parents loved him more. He got a crush on a woman and erased her husband and all of her ex-boyfriends from existence so she'd have no reason not to date him, then when she still rejected him, he traveled back in time and repeatedly traumatized her as a child to the point where she wound up in a permanent vegetative state for the rest of her life. He found a limiting factor on his time travel that he couldn't kill Barry Allen or do anything that prevents him from becoming The Flash, so instead he settled on simply becoming the direct cause of every bad thing that's ever happened in his life, including things so minor as making him late for class in school and making him miss a catch in a baseball game. He's done this with villains who annoy him as well; Hunter Zolomon owes the entire line of tragedies that led to him becoming Professor Zoom to Thawne traveling through time and causing them. There is no slight so trivial that Thawne won't respond to it with the most disproportionate retribution he can imagine. (28:28)
  • Dozens and dozens of lifetimes worth of memories. Thawne's use of the Negative Speed Force gives him a form of superceding time travel. He can alter history and retain the memories of his life and the world exactly as it was before he changed it. Unfortunately, he has time traveled and altered history so many times and so drastically that his memories now consist of dozens of lifetimes all folded into themselves. He remembers every version of himself in every timeline he's ever existed in, and every version of every other important person in his life and how their histories have changed as well. It all just blends together for him in a way that makes absolutely no linear sense trying to keep it all straight. That has to be absolutely maddening; like a Mandela Effect, but for your entire life, and multiplied by every single time he changes the timeline. No one else remembers anything in the same way that he does, and there's absolutely no way he can convince anyone about the way things used to be. (38:22)
• Break (45:33)
  • Plugs for Ignorance Was Bliss, Geek Peak, and Gail Simone
• Treatment (46:46)
  • In-universe - Transcranial magnetic stimulation analogue to help Thawne’s brain
  • Out of universe - Use CBT to help people to slow down and notice things more (49:40)
• Skit (54:34)
  • Hello Mr. Thawne, I’m Dr. Issues. Hmm…you seem out of breath - heavy breathing It took a lot for me to get here. But I can’t ignore a slight like that. As you know, a doctor should only address a colleague with a title the equivalent to their own.
  • You can’t be serio…ow! What was that? -The skin of the areola is incredibly sensitive to certain angular forces. Your nerve endings are actually a bit different based on your scream. Most people have a heightened reaction from the pain itself, but for you, the mere sensation of unexpected touch and pressure were too much for you. yawn But as all plebians before you, your nervous system stood no chance in keeping up with my abilities. And that, my dear doctor, was only a sample of what I am capable of.
  • pause You just gave a soliloquy on a purple nurple? -I had to demonstrate that you are not superior to me in any aspect of existence.
  • Ok -pause That’s it? Just, “OK?” You don’t protest? Where’s the fear? Where’s the awe? Anger? Something besides “Ok”?
  • Okaaaaay…Professor? -That’s better…wait, still no emotion behind it. What is wrong with you? Do I have to phase through you and shatter your spleen?
  • Needlessly graphic but no…sigh Look, I’m not superpowered, you’re not controllable, so I’m a sitting duck just for agreeing to meet with you, no matter what safeguards I may have thought of. -That was very naive of you. I’d be insulted if I didn’t already feel insulted about the fact that some version of me that I talked with at some point in the future thought this was a good idea. What will I be thinking? Um…was thinking. You get the point.
  • Sure. So, what can I do for you? -There’s someone I know that I used to idolize. Now I hate him. He killed me, but I came back. Now I can’t destroy him because I want to exist, but I want to ruin every part of his life. You know, “as you do”
  • Are you expecting me to empathize with that? OOOOF; what did you do now? -Matter has multiple phases. Most people will only experience the most basic solid, liquid, and gas. But, as a scientist at heart, I’m sure you’re aware of plasma. Under typical Earth conditions, you would only be able to withstand a nanoparticle of any element in a picosecond of time as it sublimates from a liquid format and dissipates instantaneously in some form of biological substrate in an elongated but small cavernous bony structure with a malleable yet firm membrane
  • Interrupting You spit in my ear?! What are you, 12?! - Superspeed saliva, sir! It’s your privilege. The fact that your head did not disintegrate is only because I can control my mouth and tongue with exquisite precision.
  • You could kill me at any moment, and you torture me with pranks? What’s the point? -I’ve given you a glimpse of my power. Now imagine that for every moment of your life. To know that at any point, I can cause you immeasurable suffering and pain with the slightest show of effort on my part. THAT is what I live for.
  • So you can be the most influential being for every person’s life who ever existed, and you choose to make it miserable? Not exactly a way to win friends. -But you’re wrong. I’ve created factions of allies that bring dimensions to their proverbial knees!
  • Until you, what, give them a thermonuclear wedgie? That’s what the history books will say. Eobard Thawne, the person who created a black hole constructed out of his own spite and misery. -You do realize that with what you're proposing, there would BE no history books, because I would have wiped out recorded history by definition of
  • Do you have an off switch for that? -My genius? No, unfortunately for you, I don’t.
  • Then why don’t you find someone else to bounce your evil plans off of? I’m too ethical to help you make things worse for yourself. -pause Come again?
  • Ever heard of mimetic thinking? It’s the idea that an individual’s goals in life are constantly shaped by the goals they’ve observed set by others. We’re unique in our existence, but not in our shared outcomes. You already determined one failpoint, whoever you were talking about -Barry. His name’s Barry
  • dismissive for once whatever. The point is, you must have gotten this idea, somewhere, from someone, that destroying everything is a positive. But the lack of anything is sure to be a negative when there’s nothing left. Will you just do it again? Are you so unoriginal that you just want to run a time loop hamster wheel? -You are NOT getting away with comparing me to a hamster on a wheel, just because I use a treadmill to guide the fate of the universe!
  • I didn’t even…uh…wow. That’s um…that’s a…thing, I guess -You don’t even know your own argument. You’re bluffing! This is beyond trivial.
  • Hey, you said that at some point, YOU told yourself that talking to me was a good idea. I have no inkling WHY, because you’re the self proclaimed genius with the speed to do it all whenever you want, and you make yourself trivial in the process. I don’t think you’re capable of relating anymore. At least not with someone like me. Go find my evil doppleganger or something in another dimension, I don’t know. -evil laugh YES! You stupid, foolish brilliant doctor! That makes sense. There must be a negative version of you.I just have to find him. He will unlock the last mysteries of my negative speedforce forever! But I needed you to tell me that.
  • Wait! I zoom sound, door shut I guess I should be glad he took the “evil dimensional twin” comment and not the nuclear wedgie one. more zooming, then door knocking Um, come in. -heavy breathing
  • Hello Mr. Thawne, I’m Dr. Issues. Hmm…you seem out of breath - heavy breathing It took a lot for me to get here. But
  • interrupting It’s still me, Eobard. I think you’ve got yourself stuck somehow. -pause How…I know this is Barry somehow. It has to be. It’s his ultimate prank on me. He’s getting me back! I’m forced to listen to an incompetent shrink until I find a way out!
  • Hey!…or…ORRRRR…you could try doing some positive coping activities that open your mind so that you end up with a sense of gratitude for what you have, which will lead to better things in the future. Huh/ Huuuuuh? You ever think of that? You’re stuck with me until you get it right anyway. -Oh for the love of…how about if I shortcut this whole thing to the end and tell myself that you are worth talking to so we can all get along and I can move on to wrecking Barry’s life again. Deal?
  • Isn’t that just -Don’t care, I’m doing it. Goodbye, Doctor zoom
• Ending (60:22)
  • Recommended reading: Flash: Rebirth
  • Next episodes: Aquaman, Echo, Speedball
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Timey-wimey ball - Anthony (8:44)
• Imitute it exarctly - Doc (20:40)
• “Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?” - Doc (24:02)
• “I arranged the menu, the venue, the seating” - Doc (25:40)
• I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - Anthony (39:18)
• Planet of the Apes Simpsons - Anthony (63:04)

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• Intro
• Background
• Spike Spiegel created by Shinichiro Watanabe & Toshihiro Kawamoto in “Stray Dog Strut”, April 1998
• Protagonist of the series, he’s a bounty hunter partnered with Jet Black aboard the spaceship Bebop
• Over the course of the series, we learn his backstory - a former member of the Red Dragon syndicate, he fell in love with Julia, the girlfriend of his partner Vicious - when Vicious finds out, he forces Julia to kill Spike or be killed herself, so she goes into hiding to save herself
• Spike fakes his death and goes on the run, where he teams up with Jet - they’re also joined by Faye, a gambler who recently awoke from cryogenic sleep; Ein, a Welsh Corgi with human intelligence; and Edward, a young Earth girl who’s also a master hacker

• During the series finale, Julia has Faye send Spike a message that she is alive and ready to meet with him, but Vicious has her killed - Spike goes to the syndicate’s headquarters and has a final battle with Vicious, where Vicious is killed and Spike is severely wounded or killed - the ending is left ambiguous

• Issues

• Vicious Vicious Vicious… where do we begin?
• Never got over his abandonment by Julia either

• A life of drifting vs A life of intention

• Treatment

• In-universe - Get captured as a bounty, take the time to get to know Spike

• Out of universe -

• Skit

• knocking on door
• SPIKE: mumbles who the hell…regular voice Come on in
• DOC: Uh…are you Mr. Spiegel?
• SPIKE: I’d better be, or else you’d be dead by now. Plus we don’t get visitors unless Jet has business with ‘em. He gave me the heads up. You’re the doctor, right?
• DOC: Yes, I’m Doctor Issues
• SPIKE: We’re not exactly fancy here, but help yourself to something to eat while you wait for him.
• DOC: Wait for who?
• SPIKE: Jet said he hired a doctor to check things out, and he wanted to make sure I was around. We’re kind of in no man’s land here. I think we have bell peppers and beef, but it’s a little light on the beef…
• DOC: About that…I don’t usually do house calls, but he made it sound urgent…except I need a special waiver to diagnose and treat someone so far out of my jurisdiction. He took care of that already, right?
• SPIKE: Suuuuuuure he did. Whatever.
• DOC: Good…then there’s the other part of the misunderstanding I need to clarify.
• SPIKE: Don’t tell me you forgot your equipment? I figured you’d need hardware tools if you have to deal with Jet’s arm
• DOC: I’m not an orthopedist
• SPIKE: Then maybe he’s got a cold or something. I dunno.
• DOC: I’m not here for Jet.
• SPIKE: pause I’m not paying for the bill to get you to the right address then
• DOC: Spike, Jet asked me to talk to you. He figured if you were in your own space you’d be more amenable. Says you’ve had some tough breaks.
• SPIKE: I thought you said you weren’t an orthopedist
• DOC: Har har har. I’m a psychiatrist.
• SPIKE: I’m a bounty hunter. I hunt bounties. I know what I do. No psychiatrist necessary, unless you managed to pack a better couch with you.
• DOC: No such luck. But you seem to be relaxed as it is.
• SPIKE: Not quite. lights up cigarette, blows smoke ah, that’s more like it. Want one?
• DOC: I don’t condone smoking.
• SPIKE: More for me, then. I suppose this is where you warn me of the dangers of smoking and tell me to quit.
• DOC: You just did it for me
• SPIKE: Taking a shortcut. I like that. How long will this take?
• DOC: I’m contracted for a typical hour
• SPIKE: Then that gives me some time for a nap. I don’t have anything to talk about. You can stay or go, your choice.
• DOC: I don’t abandon patients, but I’m not going to bug you in your own domicile. Mind if I watch something on my phone?
• SPIKE: Suit yourself
• DOC: exaggerated reactions Oooh his countering is so slow
• SPIKE: clearly interested What ya watching?
• DOC: I always keep some fights downloaded to pass the time.
• SPIKE: You don’t seem like the fighting type.
• DOC: I’m a huge fan because I view combat sports as the truest test of wills.
• SPIKE: Spoken like someone who’s never been in a real fight.
• DOC: Be that as it may, if you saw what I saw, you’d have a similar critique.
• SPIKE: begrudgingly Alright, show me
• DOC: See how this guy keeps his head on the center line? He invites every hook imaginable, but he doesn’t have the handspeed to land a counterpunch.
• SPIKE: Yuck; he’s too rigid. He has to just…flow. It’s hard to explain
• DOC: Be like water.
• SPIKE: pause You’re the first person to get that in the first try. sigh You know, it’s nothing personal, but the reason I don’t need a psychiatrist is because I’ve already trained my mind with the best that martial arts has to offer. That’s how I get through things. I flow with them, until I need to crash.
• DOC: Hmmm…I think that may be a problem
• SPIKE: No way.
• DOC: Water as a liquid has the properties you claim. But what about under intense pressure and heat? It vaporizes. What about when it’s cold? It freezes.
• SPIKE: So?
• DOC: So…depending on what is going on around you, you’re making yourself subject to the whims of people or circumstance. Judging from this place, you guys are nomads. But your background means that you had a strong homebase at some point. Either your situation was so intense you needed to become vapor and disappear, or you became so frigid to them that you are more stoic than you should be. Either way, you’ve lost control. So which is it?
• SPIKE: Neither. It’s like I said, I flow until I crash.
• DOC: So when’s the last time you crashed?
• SPIKE: The last bum I knocked out, I guess.
• DOC: No, I mean emotionally. When’s the last time you crashed? Who angered you? Who made you laugh? Who made you cry?
• SPIKE: You sure you’re not ISSP with all these questions?
• DOC: I’ll back off, but the point is to answer those questions for yourself.
• SPIKE: I’ve had some people tell me the opposite.
• DOC: Why?
• SPIKE: pause Because they don’t want me to die.
• DOC: Your job is dangerous
• SPIKE: sarcastic Ha. My LIFE is dangerous. Let’s go with your metaphor. If I do the wrong thing, people get boiled. If I care too much, others become targets. So I freeze them out. And no, I can’t just pretend that I want it some other way. All I can do is hope that the parts I DON’T like leave of their own volition, or I find something else to keep my mind occupied. Is that what you wanted to hear this whole time? Big whoop.
• DOC: Damn, that was deep.
• SPIKE: calmer now So, you got some time for some more fights?
• DOC: Depends on if you have time for more sessions.
• SPIKE: Well, we’re due for another major dogfight and damage to the ship that’ll put us out of commission for a while any day now, so I’ll let you know when that happens.
• DOC: Sounds like a plan.

• SPIKE: Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find some protein. If I have to eat one more carbohydrate I’m gonna puke.

• Ending

• Thank you everyone for coming
• Hope to be back for PuchiCon Teaneck in the spring
• See you, space cowboy…

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Fairytales do come true - we finally bring you the long-awaited issue on Bigby Wolf! So smoke 'em if you got 'em, because things get hairy in this one!

• Intro
  • Apologies for delay in new episodes
  • Shoutout to new Patron Justin
• Background
  • Bigby Wolf created by Bill Willingham and Lan Medina in Fables #1 (July 2002)
  • Based on the Big Bad Wolf of stories, he is the Sheriff of Fabletown, a section of NYC populated with characters from folklore and legend
  • Centuries ago, the North Wind fell in love with a wolf named Winter, and they had a litter of cubs - Bigby was the runt, relentlessly teased by his brothers and abandoned by his father
  • When Winter died, Bigby’s brothers left to find their father - Bigby vowed vengeance against his father and his brothers
  • Years later, he confronted his father seven times, and seven times failed to kill him - he eventually gave up and accepted defeat
  • Living in the Black Forest, he served as an uneasy ally of the other Fables against the forces of the Adversary - he insisted on tasting the flesh of anyone attempting to pass through a portal, and determined whether they were worthy
  • After being cut with a lycanthropy-stained knife, he gained the power to change into a human at will, and later mastered the power enough to control the extent of his transition
  • Under the guidance of King Cole, Bigby was hired as Fabletown’s sheriff because of his detective skills and fighting ability, but he remained untrusted by the other Fables
  • Later had seven children with Snow White, and they inherited their father’s abilities - they all stayed at the Farm, where Bigby was forbidden to visit until he was forgiven by Prince Charming - after marrying Snow White, he and the family moved to Wolf Valley and he retired as Sheriff
  • Turned into glass and killed by Prince Brandish as part of Brandish’s fight with Snow White - he was resurrected by witches, but since one of the pieces of glass was missing, his resurrection was tainted and he was under the control of Nurse Spratt until the final piece was returned and he was fully restored

• Issues - Theme is taming the mind while remaining wild at heart (9:51)

• Lack of trust by other residents of Fabletown because of his actions prior to the amnesty

• Hostile relationship with his father

• Internal dissonance between his animalistic nature and the human side he has to present

• Break (26:41)

  • Plugs for Play Comics, Scotch N Sports, and Erica Schultz
• Treatment (28:18)
  • In-universe
  • Out of universe
• Skit (37:35)
  • Hello Mr Wo -interrupting Bigby. Bigby’s fine.
  • Hello Bigby, I’m Dr. Issues. -And I’m leaving.
  • Please don't, or we’re both going to be in trouble.-There won’t be any trouble if you just step aside. You can see I’m fine. I’ve come in like this before, and I tell everyone in the ER that I’m fine, so they let me go.
  • Not this time. -Grrr…why not?
  • Because you’ve come in so many times with unknown injuries, outlandish reports that don’t make sense, and by the time you leave it’s as if nothing ever happened. -Exactly.
  • EXACTLY…that’s why the ER director wants me to do a psychiatric evaluation for decision making capacity. If you refuse, then police will be contacted to do a wellness check on wherever you say you’re going. -That’s…problematic.
  • I agree. So, what’s up? My main point is to determine if you understand the risks and benefits of your decision making, and if you are a danger to yourself, others. Or property. - Look, I’m not a danger to anyone, unless they get in my way. But if you don’t let me out of here, you’re putting others in danger. Can you live with that?
  • Nope, that’s why I have confidentiality on my side…and the only way it’s broken is if I think there is a danger. You’re not the danger and someone else is…prove it. - That’s just it. If I tell you, then you’re in danger. The safest thing for you is to keep you in the dark. You just have to trust me.
  • Do you trust me? -No.
  • Then it’s mutual. Mexican standoff. I have my regs. You can beat me to a pulp, you can bash your way out of here, you can tangle with the police, but I know my job, and it’s protecting society at all costs. That’s all there is to it for me at this point. - chuckles
  • What’s so funny? - You an’ I are a lot more alike than I figured. OK. Fine. Have it your way. I’ll play your game, I’ll answer your questions, but only far enough to get me out of here. We clear?
  • Crystal. - grunts Hate that word.
  • Why? - Bad experience. Long story.
  • For once, I ain’t got time for that. Plus, you’re obviously in a hurry. Why’d you come to the hospital? -I didn’t volunteer. Tough scrape, got hit with a truck…what FELT like a truck. I know people don’t survive too many hard shots, and they wanted to check me for a concussion.
  • You look and sound pretty good, all things considered -You should see the other guy.
  • Were there any homicidal threats? -No, not this time.
  • pause how often do you get threatened? Is this like a mob thing or -No, I’m actually on the side of keeping things in order. I can’t say more than that.
  • Classified? -Let’s go with that.
  • Ah…I think I’m getting the picture. You weave quite the tale -No kidding. You done?
  • Not quite. Do you know what the typical treatment plan is when you’re evaluated for physical and mental injuries? -I…uh…wait a while and if I’m ok, I leave. Like I said…a million times…EVERY time. Including now.
  • Consistency. I like it. And do you know the risks if you leave without any further medical evaluation? -I get to not talk to you anymore, and get on with my job. My very important job that keeps you and everyone else safe, and none the wiser. Am I making myself clear?
  • exaggerated Sir yes sir! -What?
  • I’m picking up what you’re putting down. Tough guy, lots of fighting skill, important work under lock and key…alright, I’m satisfied. You don’t have to tell me what branch…is it CIA? FBI? Secret Service? ATF? DEA? Ooooh, maybe you’re international and it’s MI6 -You read too many novels. Stop. I’m completely off the books chuckles damn I wasn’t even trying with that one.
  • Alright, Alright. Look, I’ll make your chart locked and the only way to break the seal is if you or your POA approves. Is that a deal? -What’s a POA?
  • Power of Attorney…or, if you don’t have the ability to share such a legal document, you would need a listed next of kin -Not a chance, too much of a blowhard. And the missus, well… if she found out I’d gotten into a scrape like this, it wouldn’t end well for me.
  • Suit yourself. I’ll be as vague as possible with details. But I can’t keep this up forever. If you do anything to compromise yourself, I won’t be able to hold back what’s in store for you. You’re going to get yourself killed at some point. - Wouldn’t be the first time… I, uh, came really close.
  • I’m sorry to hear that. You know, I see more people like you than you realize. I know your type. -startled Grrr.WHAT?!!
  • Calm down. I mean the facade. You come off like a grizzly, but I know underneath that, you’re really a teddy bear. That’s all. I work with some people like that. And I can’t change them, so I ride the wave. I hope you let the people close to you see the softer underbelly instead of the claws. - Damn, Doc, you’re a lot closer than you realize. Not bad for a mundie.
  • confused But it’s Wednesday. - sigh Can I go now?
• Ending (44:04)
  • Recommended reading: The Wolf Among Us
  • Next episodes: Eobard Thawne, Aquaman, Echo
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

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We do our first ever compilation episode in conjunction with the release of the Marvels in theaters this week - it's a THREE HOUR episode about Carol Danvers, Monica Rambeau, and Kamala Khan! In case you missed the previous issues on these women, we got you covered!

Carol's original episode

Monica's original episode

Kamala's original episode

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We bring back Allen & Will to talk Grandma Chainsaw 3. We also discuss the untimely loss of colorist Jasen Smith, and how A&W are gearing up for the finale.

Creators on the Couch - Grandma Chainsaw 3

• Intro

• Background

• Grandma Chainsaw 3

  • Loss of Jasen Smith (24:15)
  • Opportunity to discuss grief within the book (29:15)
  • What comes next when GC 3 is done? (40:00)
• Ending (49:20)
  • Next episodes: Bigby Wolf, Eobard Thawne, Speedball
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Grandma Chainsaw 1 with Allen, Will, & Jasen (RIP) - Anthony (22:14)
• Turn Off the Lights by Teddy Pendergrass - Anthony (48:05)

GonnaGeek Network

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This episode, we focus on one of Gatman's most gafflingly grazen gad guys, the Ventriloquist (and Scarface!) Who's really pulling the strings? Listen now to find out!

• Intro

• Reminder of PuchiCon appearance

• Background (3:00)

  • Important to note that in this version, the dummy was made from wood used in Blackgate’s old gallows, and there are conflicting reports whether the dummy is possessed or not
  • Ventriloquist (Arnold Wesker) created by John Wagner, Alan Grant, and Norm Breyfogle in Detective Comics #583 (Feb. 1988)
  • Arnold Wesker is a meek man from a mafia family – originally developed DID after witnessing his mother’s murder
  • His origin was later retconned – imprisoned in Blackgate prison, he begins hearing voices from a dummy named Woody, and the voices convince him to murder his cellmate – during the fight, Woody is damaged, and takes on the name Scarface
  • In either version, Scarface becomes the controlling force, and Wesker is his “puppet” - to the point that Scarface becomes enraged if people insist on speaking to Wesker and not him
  • One telltale sign is that Wesker/Scarface is unable to pronounce the letter B, replacing it with G - Batman becomes Gatman, bullets become gullets, etc.
  • At one point Wesker was committed to Arkham Asylum, and upon escaping used a sock puppet named Socko - when Scarface learned he had been replaced, he and Socko had a gunfight, resulting in damage to Wesker’s hands #BecauseComics
  • After an earthquake nearly destroys Gotham, a new villain called the Quakemaster shows up demanding a ransom to prevent further earthquakes - Tim Drake is able to deduce it’s Scarface because Quakemaster refuses to pronounce words with the letter B
  • Has an on-again/off-again partnership with the Penguin, where they often break each other out of prison and work together on criminal enterprises
  • Murdered by Tally Man in an effort to frame Harvey Dent
  • Later resurrected during Blackest Night as a member of the Black Lantern Corps, and creates a construct of Scarface with his ring
  • New 52 - he was never killed, and was hospitalized for treatment of his DID
  • Briefly controlled by the Venom serum, but was taken down by Nightwing and Damian Wayne
  • Succeeded as Ventriloquist by a woman named Shauna Belzer, who had her own puppet Ferdie
  • He helped Batman defeat Psycho-Pirate, because his DID was able to override Pirate’s emotion control powers since Scarface was really in charge

• Issues - the pawn who would be king (7:03)

• Dissociation, Depersonalization, and Derealization
• Subordination (14:03)

• Masochism (21:04)

• Break (26:01)

• Plugs for Popcorn Psychology, Ocho Duro Parlay Hour, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson

• Treatment (26:56)

• In-universe - introduce ways to take Scarface out of commission

• Out of universe - work on scaling down and away from coping mechanism (30:10)

• Skit (34:06)

• DOC: Hello Mr. Wesker, I’m Dr. Issues.
• SCARFACE: Nope, you’re talking to ME, doc. Leave the dummy outta this.
• WESKER: W-w-well at least l-l-let me say h-h-hello f-first.
• SCARFACE: Shut yer yap and lemme do the talking. The less you talk, the faster we can greak outta here and get gack to gusiness.
• DOC: I love Vaudeville as much as anybody, but
• SCARFACE: interrupting that explains your practice
• DOC: Hey! This is a serious establishment. Are you going to talk to me or not?
• WESKER: I-I-I
• SCARFACE: Aye Aye Aye is right! Sheesh! You gonna take the hint, shrinkydink? This mug is useless without me. I’m the grains of this operation. That’s how I keep making gread.
• DOC: flustered Fine. Tell me, what can I do for you?
• SCARFACE: Can you crack safes?
• DOC: No
• SCARFACE: Can you crack heads?
• DOC: NO!
• SCARFACE: Knockaround guy? Gagman?
• DOC: No and No
• SCARFACE: Is your office a good place to do laundry, if ya catch my drift?
• DOC: I’m not doing anything illegal for you!
• SCARFACE: Then you’re a waste of space like this guy over here!
• DOC: He is the reason you can talk at all!
• SCARFACE: waaaaatch your mouth, you’re on thin ice, capiche?
• DOC: Mr. Wesker, are you going to stand for this?
• SCARFACE: He doesn’t have to, that’s why he’s sittin down. And you’re gonna be layin down for a dirt nap if you don’t keep your eyes on me!
• DOC: You don’t have any weapons. That tommy gun is a toy. I’m not stupid.
• SCARFACE: My noggin is like taking a Louisville slugger to the jaw if you’re unprepared.
• DOC: If you’re so bright,have you figured out a way to resolve your anger without resorting to violence?
• SCARFACE: Resort? You darn right I resort. A hideout full of moola and the screams of my enemies make crime a vacation.
• DOC: Is that what Wesker wants?
• SCARFACE: Who cares what he wants?
• DOC: I do. And if this is you, Arnold, then I’m willing to work with you in this…unique arrangement.
• SCARFACE: I’m confused. Are you talking to me or to him?
• DOC: Yes.
• SCARFACE: pause Ooooh, you’re a slick one, aintcha? Gut there’s no one else you need to talk to.
• DOC: Thank goodness. So, I’ll make sure I only direct my questions to you, and you’ll answer, and I’ll make sure it’s documented in your chart, under your name. Just spell it for me so I get it right.
• SCARFACE: S-C-A
• DOC: A-R-N
• SCARFACE: screaming THIS AIN’T A JOKE!
• DOC: I’m not laughing. I’m talking to you. I’m looking at you. I know you run the show, and I’m giving you the attention you deserve. If the other part is not important according to you, fine. But I won’t let your reality get in the way of mine.
• SCARFACE: YOU SICKO! Don’t toy with my emotions.
• DOC: Don’t use your emotions as toys
• WESKER: Please stop fighting
• DOC: who said that?
• SCARFACE: NOBODY! DUMMY, SHUT UP!
• WESKER: yes sir
• DOC: You seem to have an issue with a part of you that is intimidated. What do you plan to do to strengthen it?
• SCARFACE: I’m not weak; that loser
• DOC:interrupting You’re a loser; got it.
• SCARFACE: I’m not here to be insulted!
• WESKER: You usually leave that to me
• DOC: Progress! Now if you could only get him to stop shoving his hand inside you to compensate, you wouldn’t be so uptight
• SCARFACE: pause wait…are you actually trying to treat me here?
• DOC: It wasn’t my first idea but if it’s the only way I can ultimately give you some peace and have fewer people hurt, I’ll make it work.
• SCARFACE: exaggerated wistful sigh Maybe I can finally get a world without Dummy. A mafioso can dream.
• DOC: Um…erm…something like that. Anyway, I noticed that I didn’t get my usual fee before the session, so I’m going to have to bill you for the balance.
• SCARFACE: deadpan Oh…Dummy takes care of that
• WESKER: I DO NOT
• DOC: WHAT?
• SCARFACE: I MEANT THE CHECK’S IN THE MAIL. Now get me outta here before he makes me talk about my mother. fake sob I really miss her.
• DOC: Pining?

• SCARFACE: No, oak.

• Ending (38:54)

• Recommended reading: Batman: Broken City by Brian Azzarello & Eduardo Risso
• Next episodes: Bigby Wolf, Eobard Thawne, Speedball
• Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Penguin episode - Anthony (5:14)
• All the Smoke podcast - Doc (15:00)

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Things get downright evil as we delve into Nathaniel Essex, aka MISTER SINISTER! How messy does this diva get? Listen now to find out!

Issue 181 - Mister Sinister

• Intro

• Background (2:17)

  • Mister Sinister (Nathaniel Essex) created by Chris Claremont in Uncanny X-Men #212 (Dec. 1986) - first seen in #221 (Sept. 1987) drawn by Marc Silvestri
  • Nathaniel Essex born in Victorian London, he is intrigued by Darwin’s theories of evolution and survival of the fittest, but believes that mankind can go further
  • After his 4-year-old son dies, he believes that science can perfect the human race - to that end, he hires a gang to kidnap homeless people to serve as test subjects - he allies with Apocalypse, as they share a common goal
  • His wife discovers his imprisoned test subjects, as well as their dead son that Essex had dug up to experiment on - she goes into premature birth, and dies from blood loss, calling him sinister - he takes on the name after En Sabah Nur transforms him with Celestial technology, giving him the powers of immortality and telekinesis
  • Sinister tries to kill Apocalypse, but fails - he commits himself to creating a mutant who can kill him, this leads to the eventual creation of Cable
  • Sinister collaborates with many villains & characters throughout the decades, including being responsible for setting up the High Evolutionary, and having his research be the basis for Weapon X project
  • He keys in on the Summers line, after secretly establishing an orphanage to keep track of children of his experiments - it is here he meets a young boy named Scott Summers, descendant of one of his earliest subjects - Sinister pretends to be Nate, another orphan, and tries to manipulate Scott to become an ally to Sinister until Scott is rescued by Xavier
  • Creates a clone of Jean Grey after determining that a child of Scott and Jean would be capable of killing Apocalypse - after the Phoenix Saga, Scott meets Madelyne Pryor at a Summers family reunion, leading to a whole bunch of messiness
  • Encounters the X-men for the first time during Mutant Massacre
  • Dies during Messiah Complex when he attempts to kidnap the newborn baby Hope - due to earlier experimentations, his consciousness transfers first to Xavier, before transferring to Claudine Renko, a former test subject - she calls herself Miss Sinister
  • Later is restored to a male form and creates an entire civilization of Sinister clones in San Francisco in an attempt to get Celestials to wipe out the planet so he can start anew - this is Kieron Gillen’s reboot of the character, and all subsequent stories work off this version
  • Creates five Madelyne clones in an effort to house the Phoenix Force during AvX, but the Phoenix Five destroy everything Sinister built
  • This Sinister is killed by another clone with an X-gene, making Sinister a mutant - it is this clone that works with Xavier and Magneto to compile a database of mutant DNA for the new Krakoan society, and he joins the Quiet Council
  • He also creates several clones of Moira MacTaggert, and exploits her timeline reset ability to his benefit, which leads to Sins of Sinister, where he successfully kills Xavier, Hope, Emma Frost, and Exodus, creating a dystopian future for mutants and mankind

• Issues - Theme is “The show must go on, but when does it stop?” (12:10)

  • Constant experimentation on others and himself in pursuit of perfection
  • Presentation and theatricality often doom his efforts (17:06)
  • Wants everyone to underestimate him, but overestimates himself (22:14)
• Break (28:10)
  • Plugs for Frigay the 13th, Hops Geek, and Chris Claremont
• Treatment (30:20)
  • In-universe - The ultimate family meeting
  • Out of universe - Review making changes just for changes sake
• Skit (42:40)
  • Hello Mr. Sinister, I’m Dr. Issues. - Hello…Doctor…you know, that doesn’t quite fit what we should be going for, here.
  • I don’t follow. -While I prefer my choice of moniker, I don’t want any mistake in how this works. I am also a doctor. But that’s not ALL I am, at this point. Do you catch my drift?
  • So we’re colleagues, and I have every intention of giving you the respect you deserve. -Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. Colleague denotes equals, peers. There is no such thing with me.
  • Are you trying to intimidate me, or…-interrupting Oh my, no! If I wanted to have you cowering in fear, I would simply tear your mind asunder. Then replace it backwards. No, this is all trivial to me. But I’m bored, so let’s see where this goes now that I’ve established dominance.
  • I don’t think I’ve been so eloquently insulted in all of my life! -You're welcome.
  • clearly angry, but not stupid enough to act I don’t want to be rude back, but if you have no interest in changing anything about yourself, then this is going to be fruitless. -Nonsense, dear doctor. I am all about change for the better. That’s why I’m here. I sought you out.
  • That’s refreshing…I guess? Then why demean me? -Is it demeaning to say that an insect is expendable, or a seed only has value once planted?
  • You sound like someone I met once -I know…I learned from the best.
  • So what do you want to change? -truly evil smile YOU, my dear Doctor Issues
  • gulp I’m always looking to improve…but…um…that’s not how therapy works. -Do you doubt that the transference and countertransference phenomenon that were known when I was a much younger lad are true? EVERY therapist changes the moment they speak with a patient. But that is too slow. I need to see my results in real time.
  • fearful A..aaaaa…as a doctor, you know that consent is a VERY important part of any changes that would be proposed, and I don’t give you that -curt This is NOT a review board or ethics panel. What I say, goes. Understand?!
  • Is it too late to say that you’re falling back on past patterns of aggression for the sake of comfort in a new environment? -If this were truly a new environment, then you wouldn’t be in such dire straits right now. Oh, the torment you may feel for a short while will be well worth my efforts. I will admit though whispering I’m not gentle.
  • I would like the anger back, please. Creepy is much worse. -Who said anything about creepy? I’m not hidden about my intentions. My name says enough.
  • Perhaps I could interest you in the meaning behind that also referring to left-handed orientation? -More stalling. yawn You are coming off as pathetic now.
  • So, you’re not trying to scare me, you’re not interested in what I have to say, and you want to...do SOMETHING and I don’t know what. Are you trying to build anticipation? I’m confused. -Perhaps
  • awkward pause OK I’ve had it. Just do it. Kill me, or torture me, or whatever it is you plan to do because it takes a lot for me to lose my patience nowadays. Just know that each time I try to start a conversation that may be insightful…THERAPEUTIC even, you have ignored it, or mocked it, or intimidated me about it. You’re trying to play me like a fool, and I’m NOT having it. I can tell you’re cunning, but nobody’s really that catty about mental wellness treatment. -Well then, let’s see how well your sessions go without this oh so beautiful couch to sit on. ripping sounds
  • WHAT? Seriously? It’s in the name! Who messes up a couch? -You need someone like me to make this whole room over. Your office is in shambles. Have you never heard of feng shui?
  • I don’t care -interrupting Obviously you don't. And your clothes…a button down shirt with stripes? How tacky are you?
  • Is this what you consider changing me for the better? A mastermind doesn’t waste their time focusing on minutiae to criticize! - You think this is beneath me? Forget about Lizzo, darling, I engineered my DNA to be 100% that bitch.
  • So then what are your plans for my DNA? -Oh you simple, simple man. You have to learn how to put a comb through your hair, get a decent suit, learn how to tie your shoes properly AND find a decent non-offensive cologne before I ever do gene-work on you! For once, I must focus on the outside instead of what’s inside. I’ll be here every week until you are worthy of being my next great experiment.
  • Then I’ll keep trying to be an example of a regular person who is willing to accept imperfections. I hope that sinks in. -Nonsense. Until then, consider this my parting gift laser sound
  • Whoa…did you just…laser shave…um…but my clothes are still on…you know what? I don’t want to talk about it. That was without my consent. - You’re quite welcome. This time it was hair. Next time, it will be more than that if you’re not careful.
• Ending (48:36)
  • Recommended reading: Immortal X-Men, Cerebro episode on Sinister
  • Next episodes: Ventriloquist, Bigby Wolf, Eobard Thawne
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Chris Claremont interview - Anthony (5:45)
• Gambit episode - Anthony (6:25)
• Moira McTaggart episode - Anthony (9:15)
• Cerebro podcast with Kieron Gillen - Anthony (11:23)

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PuchiCon Panel - Vash the Stampede

• Intro (2 min)

  * Introduction of Anthony & Doc - thanks everyone for coming out
  
  * Who here has heard us before? Who here is very familiar with Vash/Trigun?
  

• Background (3 min)

  * Vash the Stampede created by Yasuhiro Nightow in *Trigun* Chapter 1 - The 60 Billion Double Dollar Man (May 1995)
  
  * For purposes of this panel, we’ll be focusing on the anime version, not the manga, since the story is much more streamlined in the anime
  
  * Vash is an alien with decelerated aging, who is raised by Rem alongside his twin brother Knives
  
  * Knives grows to hate humanity and attempts to crash their spaceship into a planet - Rem puts the boys in an escape pod to protect them
  
  * Knives and Vash battle, and Knives cuts off Vash’s arm - this triggers a latent power inside Vash, and the explosion destroys the town of July (although all the people within were spared) - this incident is what triggers a $$60 billion bounty
  
  * Vash becomes a drifter, being followed by Meryl & Milly, insurance agents who document the destruction left in his wake (or more accurately the wake of those trying to kill/capture him)
  
  * Despite being incredibly proficient in weapons, Vash is a pacifist who refuses to kill anyone, even those trying to kill him
  
  * Knives hires a gang of assassins (the Gung-Ho Guns) to hunt his brother down and cause him pain & suffering
  
  * After several run-ins with the Gung-Ho Guns (including being forced to kill the leader, Legato), he and Knives have a climactic battle, resulting in Vash wounding Knives but refusing to kill him, honoring Rem’s last request: “Take care of Knives”
  

• Issues (15 min)

  * Direct traumatic relationship with Knives
  
  * Idealism to the extreme
  
  * Humor as an immature defense mechanism
  

• Treatment (10 min)

  * In-universe - “the ultimate NPC escort mission”
  
  * Out of universe - Significant childhood trauma, a complicated ongoing relationship with family, perfectionistic self-drive that is also self-sabotaging
  

• Skit (10 min)

  * Hello Vash, I’m Dr. Issues. - Well hello there. How are you?
  
  * I’m doing well, thank you for asking. -So, I notice there’s a plate of donuts out there, are those for someone specific? Or…
  
  * Those are for anyone in the waiting room. -Aww…but I’m in your office now…can I have one anyway?
  
  * Sure, but -*rushes out, comes back* Oh man, I love the apple cider ones the most.
  
  * I’m glad you like them, now what can I do for you? -Huh? Oh, I’m good with the donuts.
  
  * No, I mean what do you want to talk about. -Um, I think you could use a bit more variety, although I did see some with sprinkles. Then again, those are a bit too artificial for my taste. *chomping* nature knows how to provide the best flavors, ya know?
  
  * I appreciate your interest in natural health. But I must admit, your reputation precedes you. -Gosh, I’m just some wanderer, *emo-style* searching for the elusive mayfly of love
  
  * Not all who wander are lost -I’ll bet! You meet the most interesting people along the way. Insurance agents, outlaws, homesteaders, outlaws, beautiful women, outlaws…I said outlaws, right?
  
  * I got the hint. Sounds dangerous. -Sure, if you’re not as careful as I am.
  
  * Careful? From the triage report you sound fairly reckless. -Yeah, I should pay more attention to the beauties…am I right, or am I RIGHT? *awkward laugh* you’re not laughing.
  
  * Not a fan of sexism. -I didn’t mean to offend you. Sometimes I get a one track mind. I should examine what’s really important…THESE DONUTS! *truly maniacal laugh* You’re still not laughing
  
  * *holds bridge of nose* Vash…Vash…Vash. I’m going to try and keep some level of decorum as I say this. Please…I’m begging you…just take my questions as seriously as you take your appetite, alright? -*dramatic* Sir yes sir! You don’t have to get so cranky.
  
  * Why are you deflecting before we even get to any topics? What’s so bad that you won’t do the most basic of introductions? -*sarcastic* I saaaaaid hello.
  
  * If you keep this up, I’m willing to say goodbye. Trust me, the bill that you’ll be footing based on reported damages in the first place won’t be wiped out unless you have a complete psychiatric evaluation.-*sigh* If you say so.
  
  * Thank you. Now, since we’re short on time, tell me the biggest concern you have in life. -Oh wow, that’s heavy…um, life I guess?
  
  * Your biggest worry is life itself? -I want everything to live. Is that so wrong?
  
  * That’s…unique. Can you narrow it down? -Nope.
  
  * Ooooooookay…hoo boy. And…what do you do about life as a whole? -Save it. Cherish it. No matter what. That’s what…she would have wanted.
  
  * She who? -Rem. She was…she taught me everything I needed to know.
  
  * She definitely sounds special. Based on the tense, I’m guessing something happened. -*nervous laugh, rambling style* Well sometimes bad things happen you know so I just keep going on but as long as I don’t think about it too much and how nice she was and everyone deserves to live because she said so and I don’t want to let her down but I don’t know why everyone hates me sometimes but I still love them and it…it…*exaggerated crying* IT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEEEEEEEEE
  
  * *pause* Hmmmmm…didn’t quite expect that. In my line of work, we’d call your emotions labile. You’re on a rollercoaster here! -I’ll try to keep calm. I’m not so bad once you get to know me.
  
  * It took us this long for you to stop deflecting, and then the real emotions came out like a firehose. That’s not the best way to handle things. Plus, the only time I got the sense you were actually serious was when you mentioned the sanctity of life. Maybe such a heady philosophy is cracking you. -No way. It grounds me. It’s my core. You probably understand me more than you think. Don’t you fight against suicide?
  
  * Absolutely! -But why?
  
  * *pause* Well, there’s a myth out there that taking your own life is a way to eliminate pain. But from what I’ve seen, it’s the opposite. The person becomes a pain bomb that spreads that sorrow to every person that ever had a positive thought about the one who is now gone. I’m willing to see through that lie. -And what if it wasn’t a metaphor for emotion. What if there were real bombs involved, and bullets, and weapons you couldn’t even dream of. What then? What if someone is so bent on hurting others that the only thing you can do is stop it…but that person has a value too, don’t they?
  
  * Yes. -So where am I wrong? Why do so many people fight me when I don’t want to fight them?
  
  * Sometimes I chant a mantra to myself: “Magnets draw metal because they are strong.” You’re a target, for sure. But not many of those who are as pacifist as you are willing to fight in the…unique way that you do. You’re begging to become a martyr. -Don’t say that…*yelling* DON’T SAY THAT. I want a fun life. A simple life. But I won’t run from anyone who needs saving. Trouble finds me. I’ve had to deal with Knives.
  
  * ***misunderstanding, WAY too flippant***...and swords, and bullets, and lasers, and rockets blah blah blah -You fool! I mean my brother. *sighs* You know, it’s really hard to love someone when they want you to be someone you’re not.
  
  * *pause* Can you deal with the imperfect? -What’s that mean?
  
  * You, your brother, Rem, whoever that is…the people you save, the people trying to kill you…it’s all one giant imperfect mess. And yet, I get the sense that you will never be satisfied. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. You have passion; I can see that. No one can promise you peace. But what I can do is help you mold your purpose. Life itself may be zero-sum if you look at the end, but the value is infinite if you find a way to enjoy the things in between. -*pause* Wow. That’s really sweet…
  
  * Thank you -BUT NOT AS SWEET AS THESE DONUTS!
  
  * *whining* Ohhhh man…I thought I was getting through to you. -***munching again*** Well, you know what they say…the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  
  * THEY DON’T SAY THAT IN A THERAPY SESSION -Well, I gave you a new technique. Gotta go, Doc! Thanks for the comfort food!
  

• Ending (5 min)

  * Thanks everyone for coming!
  

Next episodes: Mister Sinister, Ventriloquist, Bigby Wolf

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WE'RE (almost) BACK! This minisode goes over what Anthony & Doc have been up to for the past few months, and announce some big changes for Season 10. So catch up before next week's new full episode!

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We take a break from our hiatus to talk to our friends Allen & Will about their latest Kickstarter, the Pocus Hocus spinoff Horus in Hell! You can find it here!

GonnaGeek Network

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We travel Across the Spider-Verse for our Season 9 finale as we examine Spider-Man 2099, Miguel O'Hara!

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We close out Marvel Cosmic May with a look at the OG Nova, RICHARD RIDER! How can Doc help this jaded space cop who totally isn't Hal Jordan?

• Intro
  • Next week is last episode of season 9

• Background (2:00)

  • Richard Rider created by Marv Wolfman and John Romita Sr. in The Man Called Nova #1 (Sept. 1976)
  • Nova Corpsman Rhomann Dey is dying, and gives his power to high school student Richard Rider - however, he has no instructions on how to use these powers
  • After some adventures on Earth, he travels to space, where he helps the Xandarians battle Skrulls and other enemies
  • He returns to Earth and gives up his powers (first time), but after struggling without them, he regains them and joins the New Warriors
  • Garthan Saal, a Nova Corpsman gone mad, strips Rich of his powers (2nd) so he can rebuild Xandar after Nebula destroyed it - Saal is defeated and his power is restored
  • He defies the Xandarian queen in an effort to save Earth, and is stripped of his powers (3rd), but when his replacement sacrifices himself to stop the Deathstorm, he’s returned to glory
  • Annihilation - the entire Nova Corps save Rich is destroyed by Annihilus, so the Xandarian Worldmind takes refuge inside Rich’s helmet - Rich kills Annihilus and saves the universe
  • Unbeknownst to him, the Worldmind is recruiting new members to the Nova Corps - when Rich learns that Ego the Living Planet was among them, he objects and is stripped of his rank and powers (4th)
  • Having lived with the Nova Force for so long, he is dying without the powers, so he borrows Wendell Vaughn’s quantum bands and becomes Quasar - after saving the Corps during War of Kings, Ego is removed and Rich is restored as a Centurion
  • Goes through a rip in space-time known as the Fault and enters the Cancerverse, where he and Star-Lord battle Thanos until the rip closes, trapping all three inside - Star-Lord and Thanos later get a hold of a comic cube that frees them, but Rich remains trapped
  • When Sam Alexander contacted the Xandarian Worldmind to get information on his father, this alerted Rich and allowed him to escape the Cancerverse - unfortunately, his body became a portal, and the inhabitants tried to use Rich to invade Earth - he and Sam helped repel the invaders, and they returned to Earth
  • The entire Nova Corps was once again decimated, and Richard became an alcoholic until Annihilius showed up and asked for Rich’s help to defeat the Cancerverse invasion - after Rich swallowed the entire Cancerverse (#BecauseComics), he was killed by the Sentry, thus killing the invading forces, and resurrected by Annihilus as a way of saying thanks
  • Took over as leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy after Star-Lord was killed, which Rich blamed himself for until he started therapy

• Issues - Theme is “Don’t worry, it gets better… I mean worse… I mean better…” (8:13)

  • Constant flux of powers causes him numerous problems
  • Feels like everything is his responsibility, and thus his fault (14:50)
  • PTSD as a result of the numerous wars and battles (22:49)
• Break (28:29)
  • Plugs for Cheers to Comics, Adventures in Erylia, and Jeremy Whitley
• Treatment (29:51)
  • In-universe - Have him figure out how to use the Nova Force for creation
  • Out of universe - (33:52)
• Skit (39:46)
  • Hello Richard, I’m Dr. Issues. -Hello, Doctor.
  • So, what can I do for you? -Well, let’s just say that I’m not going to be an easy case. I’m not going to give you a hard time, but this road is not smooth at all.
  • I welcome the challenge. -You say that now, but when I start telling you some things…it’s not even about the confidentiality. This is some serious stuff. A lot of death, a lot of pain, tons of anger…and that’s just when things turn out ok.
  • You’re building up to a multitude of events, and I don’t even know the basics about you. -Yeah, yeah, I get it. I just wish you could fast forward through this stuff, or leave off exactly where my last therapist did. Is that too much to ask? Do I have to repeat this every time?
  • No, of course not. -Well, I gave you permission to look at my files, isn’t that enough? clearly irritated What, you can’t stomach to read it or something?
  • What? No, I just want your take, not someone else’s. -So you think my last therapist was a kook? You think it was that bad?
  • Whoa, you’re rushing to judgment way too early. -Angry, rambling Of all the people I get to take my stuff out on, I get someone who wants to start from the beginning, as if it wasn’t bad enough going through it the first time! continues rambling angrily that’s it, I’m outta here, gotta take a break, I KNEW this was going to go bad…keeps rambling, door opens and shuts, still ranting
  • Well, this is going juuuuust great…oop -door opens and shuts again, still ranting whew, I might as well rip a hole in space time, that oughtta REALLY freak someone like you out. Do you know I’ve had to die just so I can live a better existence?
  • Are you trying to intimidate me, or test me, or…I don’t know what. Is this how you vent? -I don’t vent. I attack.
  • Then why are you attacking me? -Not you…well, not You, you. You just happen to be there. It’s not like that.
  • Richard…I’m the only one here. I get that you have no other target, but it’s not productive to yell at me right now. I don’t take it personally, but I’m still a person. -You’re a person…aww, Doc has feelings…whaa whaa whaa…If you were with me, you wouldn’t last long with that attitude.
  • You’re not trying to recruit me. I’m here to help you, remember? -deep breath Yeah, yeah…experienced dealing with cosmic madness. No excuse for my disrespect. This line of work kind of makes me jaded.
  • I’ve heard worse, just not before…hmmm…you know what? Screw the background stuff. It’s obvious that it pisses you off. What I’ll focus on instead is what do you want to change about how you’re feeling right now? -pause Well, like you said, I’m pissed off, but…it’s deeper than that. It’s like something keeps clawing through me…and believe me, I’ve been clawed through, so I know what I’m talking about. But it’s not others, it’s…it’s something about me. Like, I’m not feeling how I should feel. Does any of this make any sense?
  • Let me see if I understand. You have intense responses to your current state of mind, and it doesn't match with what you should be feeling based on what you know about yourself. -Something like that, I guess.
  • Then what “should” you be feeling, if you don’t mind my airquotes? - pause I shouldn’t even exist, you know? I should have been dead and buried a looooooong time ago, but I’m still kicking…and kicking ass, while I’m at it.
  • So, survivor’s guilt? -I’m grateful! But, how many times am I going to go through this?
  • I don’t have a crystal ball -Well even the ones who have that type of power treat me like a wild card anyway, or take my power…sometimes I wonder if I should fight to get them back at all. Then I get pissed off evan more, and I double down, and just promise myself that if I ever get them back I won’t lose them again…frustrated HOW…MANY...TIMES? How do I keep going?
  • pause You were right. From the start, you were right. This is not a smooth road. You are like Sisyphus…perpetually pushing that rock. -I thought you were supposed to make me feel better.
  • Hear me out! This is going to be a matter of perspective. You have been entrusted with a task that is incredibly important but has shown to carry with it a perpetual burden that resets from time to time. You can view that as a curse, but -interrupting If you say it’s a blessing I swear
  • No, I’m saying it’s variety. You have learned to adapt to the same goal in ways that most people haven’t endured yet. That’s beyond unique, that’s a level of discipline that can’t be taught. If you continue to endure, then you are providing yourself with more ammo for unexpected challenges even when the basic premise remains the same. Sunrise, sunset, but no two are the same. You get me? -A part of me wants to rip your spine out through your chest and use it as a javelin for my next enemy you optimistic pious jerk
  • gulp -But…hmmmph…that can’t be all there is to it, right? Like, I can’t make “keep my powers” be the end goal?
  • It doesn’t have to be, but you were the one who said that’s what’s eating at you. You’re a complex study, so I’m sure we’re just scratching the surface, and I’ll challenge your own assumptions. -You got a bit of a bite to you after all. No wimping out. That’s decent of you. Ok, hot shot. I’ll tell you what. If you’re willing to take my call, I’ll reach out when I think I’m about to have someone get the drop on me.
  • I’ll be waiting whispers with some antipsychotics for the paranoia* -What was that?
  • Nothing…ehe, I’ll be waiting is my point. -Right then. Guess this is as good a time as any to wrap this up before I piss myself off again. Good bye.
  • Bye hears door open/shut phone dialing I’m not even sure how this works, does my plan cover intergalactic calls? Anyhoo…um…your excellency…tribunal…ness…sir…thing…I think I’m going to take a break in my block scheduling for now…no, I didn’t say I quit…I mean…your sense of time is so much different, a day is a decade to you, or vice versa…yeah, messes with my calendar. Plus my accountant doesn’t know how to handle “being one with the balance” as a form of payment. Still have some details to work out. Ciao!
• Ending (47:15)
  • Recommended reading: late 2000s cosmic Marvel (Annihilation Conquest, War of Kings, Thanos Imperative)
  • Next episodes: Miguel O’Hara
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

Transcript

References:

• Sam Alexander episode - Anthony (6:33)
• Elton John “I’ve Seen That Movie Too” - Anthony (27:22)

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Cosmic Marvel May continues with a look at the Devourer of Worlds, GALACTUS! Hope you're hungry, because we serve up a planet-sized platter of issues for you!

• Intro
  • Thanks to PuchiCon for fantastic panel

• Background (2:52)

  • Galactus created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in Fantastic Four #48 (March 1966)
  • Galan of Taa was an explorer of the universe that existed before the Big Bang - when the universe collapsed during the Big Crunch, he merged with the Sentience of the Universe, and was reborn in this universe with an insatiable hunger - he consumes an entire planet, Archeopia
  • Creates a herald, the Fallen One, who rebels against him - his next herald was Norrin Radd of Zenn-La, who becomes the Silver Surfer
  • When the Surfer approaches Earth to warn the planet of the coming of Galactus, the Fantastic Four lead the defense, and are able to repel him with the Ultimate Nullifier - Mr. Fantastic later sends him the Negative Zone to eat uninhabited planets
  • Secret Wars - he attempts to consume Battleworld to get the Beyonder to remove his hunger, but he is foiled by Dr. Doom
  • Gets turned into a star by his own consuming machines - this releases Abraxas, who creates so much destruction and chaos Franklin & Valeria Richards are forced to revive him to help them defeat Abraxas
  • Attempts to feed on the Infinity Gems, but that releases another destructive being
  • Heads to Asgard to find an item to satiate his hunger - Odin agrees to let him have it once Asgard is no more
  • Forced into his incubator by the Ultimates, and emerges as a Lifebringer instead of a devourer - this throws off the cosmic balance, and several celestial beings attempt to return him to his former state
  • To help defeat Hank Pym/Ultron, Galactus consumes a world overrun by Ultron drones - this revives his hunger, and the Surfer returns as his herald to help him find uninhabited planets
  • Drained by Thor and turned into a bomb to destroy the Black Winter, a being that consumes entire universes

• Issues (6:26)

  • Galactus. The Devourer of Worlds. The Harbinger of Civilization's End. And...an eco-friendly sustainable farmer? It would normally be hard to fathom the inner workings of the mind of someone who is quite literally the actual sentience of the universe that existed before ours. Fortunately, Galactus helps us out quite a bit by being more than a little chatty about himself and his motivations with the lesser beings he encounters in his travels. A few of his issues have stayed very consistent over the decades:
  • 1) A very complicated and often unhealthy relationship with his food, and his eating in general. Galactus does not enjoy the act of devouring worlds. It has never been an act that brings him pleasure. He simply has to do it in order to survive. Prior to becoming the Lifebringer, he displayed several tendencies that might be thought of as eating disorders in someone who was not a cosmic entity. In Secret Wars, he declares to the Beyonder that his fondest wish is to not have his constant hunger anymore, to be free of the need to eat. On several occasions, it's been made clear that he often starves himself as long as it's possible for him to stand it in between his meals. When confronted by beings and civilizations who don't want to be destroyed and who beg him to find another planet to consume, his constant refrain is that there's simply no more time to do that; he has to eat this planet right now or he's going to die.
  • 2) Guilt and the constant struggle to suppress it. One of Galactus' standby replies to anyone who questions the ethics of his consuming inhabited worlds filled with intelligent beings is that if their very survival depended upon stepping on an ant hill, they wouldn't hesitate. Galactus sets himself above and beyond the reproach or judgment of anyone who is not a cosmic entity. In both his role as the Devourer of Worlds and as the Lifebringer, he fulfills a cosmic purpose as the universe's sustainable farmer, weeding out the life that has passed its apex and the civilizations not strong enough to mount a resistance to him, knowing that he will one day put all of the cosmic life energy he consumes back out into the universe, seeding dead worlds with the beginnings of life to start all over again. And yet, despite that, he was once a mortal, and he does have a conscience. He goes through periods where he tries to limit himself to uninhabited worlds, or worlds without intelligent life, but it's the equivalent of a liquid diet for him; it just doesn't provide the same nourishment. In the famous Fantastic Four #257, he has to have a sit-down with Mistress Death when he basically decides to starve himself completely over the sadness of all the life he's taken, and begs Death to kill him. Most of the time, he just does his best to not think about it, the way most of us try not to think too much about how the food on our table doesn't just magically appear at the grocery store. (17:23)
  • 3) Trouble finding, hiring and keeping good help. Galactus is so much better off when he has a herald in his service finding worlds for him to eat. But he's had a really bad run of luck with them. He had such a bad experience with the Fallen One that he didn't create another one for eons before the Silver Surfer, who managed to break through the blocks Galactus put on his morality enough to rebel. He really liked Airwalker, but Airwalker liked him back enough to sacrifice himself to save him. Firelord he never even really got to know before dismissing him. Finally he decided what he really needed was a sadistic killer who enjoyed destroying inhabited worlds. Predictably, Terrax tried to kill Galactus and take his place. Frankie Raye just wouldn't budge on the whole "no inhabited worlds" rule. Morg was way too good at the job, lined up worlds for Galactus to eat faster than he could eat them. Then he tried two heralds at once for a while, that didn't work out. The man just really doesn't seem to know what it is he really wants from an employee, which seems to be why he keeps finding incompatible candidates for the job. (24:55)
• Break (35:06)
  • Plugs for SNEScapades, Last Sons of Krypton, and Jordan Blum
• Treatment (36:09)
  • In-universe -
  • Out of universe - Focus on addressing eating disorder and general health (38:04)
• Skit (44:42)
  • Hello Galactus, I’m Dr. Issues. - GREETINGS DOCTOR.
  • When Adam Warlock said I’d be doing work for cosmic beings I wasn’t quite expecting this. - YOU HAVE BEEN APPROVED BY BEINGS OF POWER BEYOND COMPREHENSION. THIS CARRIES WITH IT INCREDIBLE RESPONSIBILITY.
  • Seems like I’ve heard that before… - THE HERO CALLED SPIDER-MAN HAS MADE IT SOMEWHAT OF A MANTRA.
  • So how can I help you? - I KNOW YOUR SPECIALITY IS MENTAL HEALTH, BUT YOU ARE EXPERIENCED IN PHYSIOLOGY, ARE YOU NOT?
  • I am a psychiatrist, so I have knowledge of human biology. Having said that, I’m not really sure how that would apply to a celestial being of phenomenal power. I don’t think there’s even a remote chance of analogous internal systems. - I AM LESS CONCERNED WITH THE BIOLOGY AND MORE FOCUSED ON THE MENTAL CONNECTIONS TO THE PHYSICAL FORM.
  • Alright, I can’t believe I’m asking this, but what can I do to help you? - I NEED TO GO ON A DIET.
  • Umm… excuse me? - I MUST FIND A WAY TO SATIATE MY ETERNAL HUNGER FOR THE SAKE OF SENTIENT BEINGS.
  • Oh boy… so, I appreciate you seeking my input, but I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HELP YOU HERE. - YOU CAN PROVIDE ME WITH SUGGESTIONS TO CREATE MENTAL BLOCKS TO ABATE THE COMPULSIONS ASSOCIATED WITH THE HUNGER.
  • That’s… I… that is not even close to what I am trained in. Much as I would love to help you, I don’t even have the first inkling where to start. - MIGHT YOU HAVE AN ASSOCIATE WHO IS TRAINED IN SUCH MATTERS?
  • Sorry, I don’t know there’s much of a call for “cosmic dieticians”. - PERHAPS YOU KNOW OF SOME FREE-RANGE OPTIONS?
  • How would that even work? - A PLANET OF SENTIENT BEINGS WHO DESIRE TO ASCEND TO A HIGHER PLANE, ALL OF WHOM HAVE THE FREEDOM TO STAY OR LEAVE. I HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT ALL OF THE LOGISTICS YET, I WAS HOPING FOR YOUR INPUT.
  • I’m sorry, I…wait, have you seen the commercials for that medication that wasn’t originally designed for weight gain, but people started taking anyway? -THE IMPACT OF A MINISCULE SPHEROID WOULD NOT SATIATE SUCH A STATE
  • No, but the premise is similar to what I’m thinking. You need a new setpoint. Change the order of what you eat and when, then maybe some sort of suppressor, and…hmmm…how does one do bariatric surgery on a cosmic scale? - MY PHYSICAL FORM HAS NO KNOWN CONSTANTS. I AM WHATEVER FORM IS COMPREHENSIBLE TO THE SPECIES VIEWING ME.
  • Then we’re going to need an endoscopy tube the size of a space station. Route the last veins of our coal mines to neutralize your digestion from the start. If we combine that with the theoretical particles generated from a Hadron collider, we could force a controllable black hole inside you that would just as easily pass out what you eat. - AND WHAT WOULD EXIT THIS TUBE? WHAT MANNER OF ENERGY OR MATTER IS CREATED FROM THIS EXPERIMENT?
  • I’m not a physicist, but I think it could reset whatever goes through back to the original point of its existence…like, before the big bang or whatever, I’unno -YOU ARE WILLING TO TAKE A CHANCE ON EXISTENCE AS WE KNOW IT JUST TO RECREATE IT FROM MY HUNGER?
  • Well, when you put it like that…snaps fingers or, orrrr…after you eat, and there's this new hole…can you eat that? -EAT…MYSELF? THE HOLE?
  • I mean…what if you came out on the other end? What would you be like? - YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO NAVIGATE CONCEPTS FAR BEYOND THE PRECEPTS OF YOUR MORTAL BRAIN. TAKE CARE, DOCTOR, THAT YOU DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF INTO A STATE FROM WHICH YOU CANNOT RECOVER. OR DO SO. EITHER WAY, GALACTUS WILL PERSIST.
  • Would you, though? How do we know you wouldn’t become an infinite digestive loop feeding on itself for eternity, without the need for more outside worlds? You gain a steady state, nobody else gets devoured…fair trade. - YOUR MORALITY OPERATES ON A SCALE INFINITESIMAL TO ONE SUCH AS GALACTUS. THESE CONCERNS ARE AS IMPORTANT TO ME AS THOSE OF AN ANT ARE TO YOU. THERE ARE FAR GREATER UNIVERSAL THREATS AT RISK IF THE COSMIC BALANCE IS DESTABILIZED. BEFORE SUCH AN EXPERIMENT PROCEEDS, I MUST PONDER THE EFFECTS ON THE UNIVERSAL SCALE. I WILL CONSULT WITH THE LIVING TRIBUNAL, ETERNITY, AND THE COSMIC COUNCIL.
  • And eat rocky planets for fiber…but not Uranus, because it’s too gassy. -THIS IS TRUE. ALTHOUGH THIS ENCOUNTER IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED, YOU HAVE ENHANCED THE POSSIBLE FUTURES OF ALL THAT WILL EVER BE. THIS WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.
• Ending (50:43)
  • Recommended reading: Galactus Trilogy
  • Next episodes: Nova (Richard Rider), Miguel O’Hara
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Steve Harvey “One Man” - Doc (30:04)

Transcript

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We continue Cosmic May with a look at the newest member of the Nova Corps, Sam Alexander! How does Sam stack up against other heroes, and his own expectations?

• Intro
  • Last call for PuchiCon
  • Hiatus coming up in June

• Background (7:05)

  • Sam Alexander created by Jeph Loeb and Ed McGuinness in Marvel Point One #1 (Nov 2011)
  • Character named after Jeph’s son Sam who died of cancer when he was 17
  • Sam Alexander lives in a small Arizona town with his little sister, mother, and father Jesse, who works as a janitor at Sam’s school, and is always drunkenly telling stories about how he was a member of the Nova Corps
  • One night Jesse disappears, and then Sam is visited by Gamora & Rocket Raccoon, who give him Jesse’s helmet and tell him he’s the only Nova Corps member left in the galaxy - after the initial surprise, he encounters and heavily damages a Chitauri invasion fleet heading towards Earth, and upon his return gets trained by Gamora & Rocket
  • Joins the Avengers briefly during AvX, and then allies with Speedball & Justice for a new iteration of the New Warriors
  • Utatu eventually revealed that Jesse was alive, sending Sam into a state of elation
  • Discovers Jesse serving as a Chitauri slave, and brings him home - only to later discover that it was a clone made by the Chitauri to get close to Sam, kill him, and get the helmet - the truth sends Sam into a depressive state
  • Joins the Champions after Civil War II, as he Kamala and Miles are dissatisfied with the Avengers and their actions
  • He encounters a returned Richard Rider, who mentors him for a spell
  • After the Champions capture a major villain, Sam’s helmet is confiscated because the kids went rogue in their efforts - this once again spirals him into depression, although he later gets it back

• Issues - Theme is looking for love in all the wrong places (9:40)

  • Always looking for a father figure
  • Ruby - stopped “hero-worshiping” his dad - that moment when kids realize their parents are only human and just as flawed as they are (17:38)
  • Usually feels he’s the odd man out on any team, whether the Avengers, Champions, or Nova Corps (25:56)
• Break (33:50)
  • Plugs for Not If I Reboot You First, Geek Peak, and Howard Mackie
• Treatment (35:28)
  • In-universe - Have Sam work on things without the helmet
  • Out of universe - (38:07)
• Skit (42:25)
  • DOC: Hello Sam, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • SAM: Hey.
  • DOC: Thanks for taking the time to meet with me, I know you’re very busy.
  • SAM: Yeah, well not like I had much say in the matter.
  • DOC: I understand this isn’t easy for you.
  • SAM: I don’t know why Kamala is being such a hardass about all this. She said I couldn’t have the helmet back until I talked to you.
  • DOC: Let’s not focus so much on how we got here, and start talking about what we can accomplish while we’re here.
  • SAM: muttersYeah, I could go get the Ultimate Nullifier from the moon dude and end this-
  • DOC: What was that?
  • SAM: Ugh, nevermind. I’m just sick and tired of always losing this helmet, having it taken away from me, or whatever. It’s like… no one gets it.
  • DOC: Then explain it to me.
  • SAM: What difference would it make?
  • DOC: Seems to me it would make all the difference in the world. The helmet sounds pretty special to you. Would it help you feel better to have me understand it?
  • SAM: I dunno, maybe?
  • DOC: There’s your answer, then.
  • SAM: Can you help me get it back?
  • DOC: You said Kamala won’t give it back until you talk to me, right? So, talk to me.
  • SAM: Fine. So, this helmet… it was my dad’s. He wasn’t always the best dad growing up, and he told me all these stories about how he was in the Nova Corps and he fought all these amazing battles in space and saved people all the time. I never believed him. And then one day he disappeared without a trace, but he left the helmet to me. Well, he left it to a talking raccoon and a green assassin lady, but he told them to give it to me. And it gives me all kinds of awesome powers. I can fly, I can fire energy blasts, I’m super strong. That helmet made me the only Nova Corpsman left. Well, at least until Rich came back. And it made me an Avenger, a Champion. It’s helped me save the planet, the universe, other worlds. Yeah, it’s brought me some trouble, but it also helped me protect my family more times than I can count. And it’s helping me search for my dad, because he’s alive somewhere out there, and I’m gonna find him one day, no matter what it takes. So this helmet… it’s a huge part of me, it’s who I am. And every time I don’t have it, I feel like… like I’m losing a part of myself. Like I always have to keep fighting to keep my identity.
  • DOC: I see.
  • SAM: And I wish I could make other people see how much it means to me.
  • DOC: Have you told them that?
  • SAM: Yeah, lots of times.
  • DOC: What kind of reaction do you get?
  • SAM: People roll their eyes, or they laugh and say stuff like “you need to be a hero without the helmet” or crap like that. And it’s like, obviously I can’t fly through space without the helmet, so yeah it makes a difference. I’m not, like, Thor or somebody. Doesn’t make me less of a hero.
  • DOC: I understand.
  • SAM: Do you really…REALLY? sarcasm you’ve traveled to other worlds and saved people?
  • DOC: No…I’ve listened to hundreds, maybe thousands of people place part or all of their identity into one facet of their life and whenever it’s not there, they try to compensate by recreating that part of themselves in other areas where it just won’t fit.
  • SAM: Oh. OK. That… kinda sounds a little accurate…
  • DOC: Then when you try to loop in the ones that you think would understand, they’re dismissive because they already have their own defense mechanisms and don’t necessarily want to open up that can of worms talking to you about it.
  • SAM: Uh…yeah…I guess that’s right
  • DOC: And at least there’s someone that can show you how to do things right…if you’re lucky, but then they probably don’t want to stick around for all of the things going on in your head, and THEY bounce, so you feel like you're back to square one again!
  • SAM: I mean, sometimes that’s true, like with Rich. Who am I compared to that guy? But he knows what he’s doing, not that I don’t but, come on, man! And there’s one thing you probably can’t relate to still, because nobody really does.
  • DOC: That being…
  • SAM: pause, deep breath Can I ask you for an opinion?
  • DOC: My degree and my session timer say yes.
  • SAM: Ok…ok…a lot of times, I mention my dad, and that’s when people shut me out. I don’t know why. I think it’s because they think I’m being a moron or too soft. Is that it?
  • DOC: pause I doubt it.
  • SAM: Why’d you hesitate?
  • DOC: Because I don’t know. I don’t know all of the people you interact with. But I will tell you this. In general, people don’t think about you nearly as much as you think they do, unless you are directly bringing things up about yourself. Then the switch goes on and they have to use their mental bandwidth in a way that they didn’t expect. I have to pause, and it’s my job. Imagine what that’s like for a layperson…even a superpowered layperson.
  • SAM: Huh. That’s deep.
  • DOC: It can go deeper. I don’t think that’s your real question.
  • SAM: I don’t understand.
  • DOC: You didn’t get this far to say all of this stuff to me just for the helmet. Your dad question is right street, wrong block.
  • SAM: So I’m in the neighborhood?
  • DOC: I…guess…thank you for explaining the metaphor. Anyway, my point is, I think you're having some conviction issues about the search for your father.
  • SAM: It’s not that I don’t believe he’s out there. It’s just… I had thought the search was over. I brought him home. And he turned out to be a clone. That… that broke me. Because it was like losing him a second time. So now I’m back at square one.
  • DOC: Now that, I won’t pretend to understand. That type of grief doesn’t vanish. Just so you know, there’s no right answer. If you want to actively search, maybe take a set amount of time when you can, it makes sense. If you want to put it on the back burner, and focus on other things while you heal, that works too. Either way, we can work out a plan.
  • SAM: Does that plan involve me getting my helmet back?
  • DOC: sigh Well since you have to function at a high level I guess I have some pull to say you should have the helmet. But I’m not going to fight anyone who takes it away from you. Work out your own relationships, ok?
  • SAM: Sooooo…I DO get the helmet back?
  • DOC: Yes. Fine. But my point is if Kamala says no -
  • SAM: ignoring the last part I get my hellllllmet, I get my helllllllmet…SWEET!
• Ending (50:05)
  • Recommended reading: First Nova series (Loeb/Wells), Champions
  • Next episodes: Galactus, Nova (Richard Rider), Miguel O’Hara (Spider-Man 2099)
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Eddie Murphy Buckwheat - Anthony (9:42)
• PKJ Interview - Anthony (24:53)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

iHeartRadio: here

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It's our 175th episode, and just before Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 drops we cover Space Jesus HIMself, Adam Warlock!

Issue 175 - Adam Warlock

• Intro
• • GotG v3 comes out Friday
  • Reminder of PuchiCon panel
• Background (3:08)
• • Adam Warlock created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby in Fantastic Four #66-67 (Sept.-Oct. 1967)
  • Originally named Him, he was a genetically engineered human who rebelled against his creators, the Enclave
  • High Evolutionary names him Warlock and gives him the Soul Gem, and a group of teenagers he encounters call him Adam
  • He encounters the Universal Church of Truth, run by Magus - he learns Magus is an alternate version of himself from the future, so he kills another future version of himself to prevent the Magus from existing
  • During these adventures, he allies himself with Gamora, Pip the Troll, and even Thanos at one point - after Thanos turns on them with the Infinity Gems, Adam is captured inside the Soul Gem, but temporarily escapes to defeat Thanos
  • Infinity Gauntlet - Adam and other Marvel heroes band together to defeat Thanos, and Adam ends up with the Gauntlet - charged by the Living Tribunal to separate the stones, he gives one each to Gamora, Pip, Drax, Moondragon, and a reformed Thanos
  • Before he gave up the gauntlet, he separated his good and evil sides, creating the Goddess and the Magus, which triggers Infinity War and Infinity Crusade
  • Later joins the new version of the Guardians of the Galaxy following Annihilation: Conquest
  • He becomes Magus once again, but is killed and resurrected
  • The new reincarnated Warlock is sought out by Annihilus to power a reality-destroying weapon, which succeeds - Warlock’s essence appeals to the One-Above-All, who recreates the world and restores things to where they were
  • Decapitated by Gamora, who was on the hunt for the Infinity Gems to reclaim a portion of herself lost inside the Soul Gem - resurrected yet again, and after reality was restored he gave the Gems sentience and sent them off to fend for themselves, meaning he no longer controls the Soul Gem

• Issues (Theme is the Uncanny Valley of Human Perfection) (9:11)

• • Genetically created to be the perfect human - he is among them but not of them
  • Purges self of emotion, which creates the Magus and the Goddess (17:13)
  • Worshiped by Universal Church of Truth, which he discovered is run by Magus (21:30)
• Break (33:52)
• • Plugs for Bedknobs & Broomflicks, Ignorance was Bliss, and Meredith Finch
• Treatment (35:06)
• • In-universe - Ponder idea of who God prays to in order to find alternative options
  • Out of universe - Patients who focus on the world writ large instead of their own personal issues (38:43)
• Skit (42:15)
• • Hello Adam, I’m Dr. Issues. - Good day, Doctor.
  • So what can I do for you today? -You are a mental health professional, correct?
  • Yes. -Good. Then analyze my thoughts.
  • Um…okay. -starts abruptly I often give strong consideration to how the universe could be a better place. There are so many things that trouble me. I try to create safeguards so nothing gets out of hand, but that doesn't work in a vacuum.
  • I can’t imagine it would. So -interrupting Indeed. I figured delegating to others would limit any consolidation of power, but it just made the subsequent problems unpredictable.
  • Perhaps you should take a more active role then -But when I do that I get accused of being too heavy handed.
  • Heavy is the head that wears the crown -deadpan No I meant heavy handed because it was a gauntlet.Anyway, where was I? Oh, right the whole destruction of existence as we know it. I ponder how to best manage the combination of allies and enemies without angering too many people at once. So far I have yet to determine the exact balance to make everyone happy. If failure is the mother of success, then I have spawned innumerable children.
  • It sounds like you have plenty of experience. What have you learned along the way? -To avoid yes men. You seem like the type of person to intentionally make people uncomfortable for your own amusement, so I figured you could prevent me from aligning with sycophants.
  • I…I…thaaanks? I don’t quite know what to make of that.-I’m sure you’ll understand more as you learn more about me. Or you’ll go insane yourself from dealing with the power of the cosmos for too long if I stick around. Either way, you’ll be serving a good purpose. Were you available to an earlier me at another time, you may have been considered for a spot on the Infinity Watch.
  • I’m not sure this is practical…for you, or for me. I’m not as philosophical as you may think. At least, not on a regular basis. -Who’s being philosophical? I’m war room planning with you.
  • That sounds grandiose. -No, it’s not. I still have a fragment of the vision stone. If you wish to understand further, I’ll show you. insert whatever sound effects
  • pause Nothing in my training or experience will EVER prepare me for the type of stuff that patients like you put me through. What is my role in all of this…madness? Death? Destruction? Is this predicting -No, this is what’s happening somewhere at sometime and I’m trying to gather my thoughts so the damage is limited.
  • I get it, I get it. No offense…or take offense, I don’t care…Why are you on my couch when you could, oh I don’t know…DO ANYTHING TO END THIS? -Your frustration is noted. But you may be familiar with “measure twice, cut once”
  • Then measure quicker. -Well, I have the idea that if I segment my focus on
  • Interrupting STOP. No more segregating, or delegating, or pondering, or calculating, or plotting, or scheming, or idealizing. Do it yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect. People will get hurt, perhaps on a massive scale. But for someone so idealistic about what the perfect answer should be, you let it all get in the way of imperfect action that can be improved upon later. -Your dramatic presentation is overstated, but appreciated. But be forewarned, anything I do beyond this session will have dire consequences
  • simultaneously as last word Consequences on the universe as we know it yadda yadda yadda. If I blink out of existence I’m sure you or one of your compatriots will find some way to reset everything…and even if they don’t I wouldn’t be around to know about it anyway. How can I be more comfortable about this stuff than you are? -Your reputation as flippant precedes you…
  • It’s uncommon for me to encounter someone that gets lost in the weeds more than I do. You manage to lose yourself in it. -I don’t agree with that. I know for a fact that without my intervention, none of us would exist. If I don’t take care, the next time that happens I won’t be able to do it again.
  • Are you even listening to yourself? How am I supposed to help you if you’re mixing a predetermined outcome with a nihilistic future unless we thread the needle? I’m not exactly the best sounding board for that kind of stuff because I’m too optimistic of a pessimist….great, now I’m not making sense. -Don’t fret. If you learn to channel your inner existential god then you’ll be just fine.
  • totally snaps That’s it. I’m done. I’ve had it. You’re too heady for me. I’ve dealt with immortal beings, unstoppable monsters, ageless domineering psychopaths…you sir, are beyond what I can comprehend. I’m just going to sit back, take some deep breaths, and watch as all of existence unfolds in the time it takes for you to explain how I’m supposed to help you in just one session. -Are you done?
  • Yes. -Good. Then in your incessant whining I did manage to formulate a proposal to the living tribunal about the value of your practice on a galactic level.
  • pause come again? -Your honesty and humility in the face of overwhelming odds are still an asset whether you accept them or not. I’m no fool. You know of my rivals, I’m sure of it, even if you can’t divulge such wisdom…and as you said, you persevered. Don't think that this session is the end…it is just the beginning. Any diagnosis you have for me, will likely be different than what you would have for…others like me.
  • exasperated Are you trying to tell me that I just got roped into some sort of…Infinity Clinic?! -If that suits your tastes. From what I understand, you will be made invulnerable during said sessions, so you don’t have to concern yourself with retribution. But it only lasts for the session itself, and is at the whims of He who is above all.
  • I guess I can’t say no to that, huh? - No.
  • Then…I guess good luck with saving everyone again and make sure to bring your journal with you so I can understand whatever it is that happens. I just wish I were less professional so I could bring some popcorn. - If you like I can will some to appear for y-
  • No, no, no need. Let’s just… keep it above board. - As you wish.
• Ending
• • Recommended reading: Warlock & the Infinity Watch, Infinity Gauntlet
  • Next episodes: Sam Alexander, Galactus, Richard Rider
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Thanos episode - Anthony (6:44)
• “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink-182 - Anthony (22:41)

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Anthony goes solo to interview the creators of the upcoming YA graphic novel The Dog Knight, Jeremy Whitley & Bre Indigo!

• Intro

• Background

  • Welcome back Jeremy
    • What have you been up to since last we spoke?
  • Welcome Bre Indigo
    • Books you’ve worked on

• The Dog Knight

  • Impetus for story
  • How was Bre brought in as artist? (14:35)
  • Importance of queer/non-binary representation these days (16:02)
  • Making a book you knew would be challenged/banned (22:30)
  • Appreciate the respecting of boundaries in this book, both physical & emotional (29:54)
  • Frankie - (47:20)
    • Difficult enough being a teenager and trying to fit in, non-binary on top of that, and now they’re a hero
  • Pawtheon (52:12)
    • Did you come up with the breeds first and virtues second, or was it done together?
• Ending (43:13)
  • More stories in this universe? (57:00)
  • Next episodes: Adam Warlock, Sam Alexander, Galactus
  • Plugs for social

Pre-order The Dog Knight now!

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Anthony goes on a long tangent about voices of characters in Mike Judge projects. Oh, and we talk to Allen Dunford about Grandma Chainsaw 2, for at least a little while…

• Intro

• Background

  • Who is Allen (in case you missed the first 5 times he’s been on) (2:30)

• Chapter 2

  • How real is the Dead Squad to you (14:10)
  • Kickstarter live (19:30)
  • Kickstarter bonuses (20:20)
  • Dead Squad shirt (25:10)
  • Horus in Hell (26:00)
  • The Skinner (28:37)
  • Upcoming projects (35:08)
• Ending (41:10)
  • Kickstarter
  • Substack newsletter
  • Next episodes: The Dog Knight interview, Adam Warlock, Marvel Cosmic TBD
  • Plugs for social

References:

• First five appearances
  • First
  • Second
  • Third
  • Fourth
  • Five
• Office Space - Anthony (5:00)
• Boomhauer - Anthony (6:20)
• Scott Tenorman - Anthony (37:20)
• Tales from the Crypt - Doc (37:40)

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We travel back to the Old West to examine JONAH HEX! Is this scarred gunslinger really as fearsome as he looks? Listen in to find out!

Issue 174 - Jonah Hex

• Intro
  • PuchiCon appearance May 14th

• Background (4:50)

  • Jonah Hex created by John Albano and Tony DeZuinga in All-Star Western #10 (Feb-Mar 1972)
  • Jonah Hex is born in 1838 to an alcoholic father who sold him at age 13 to Apaches as a slave
  • He is betrayed by his adopted brother in the tribe and left to die - years later when he returns to the tribe, he reveals the betrayal - he is forced to battle his brother and kills him, and in response the chieftain scarred his face with a heated tomahawk and exiled him once again
  • He then went off to serve as a bounty hunter
  • Most of his stories stay in his own time period, but he has been brought forward in time a few times
  • Lords of Time compile a team to battle the Justice League & Justice Society, including Jonah
  • He was also incorporated into Crisis on Infinite Earths
  • At one point, he gets kidnapped and brought to post-apocalyptic 21st century Seattle to fight for the man who kidnapped him, but he escaped and continued to rove the country looking for a way to return home
  • Had several relationships with various women, including at least two marriages - the first one to Mei Ling ended when she became pregnant and ran off with the child, Jason, who wasn’t in Jonah’s life until he was an adult
  • Second marriage was to a Native American woman named Tall Bird, later in his life - after he was killed by a man who survived a bounty hit, his corpse was sold and put on display several times until Tall Bird acquired it and gave him a proper burial

• Issues - Theme is walking to the beat of your own broken drum (8:20)

  • Abused by alcoholic father
  • Betrayed by adopted brother in tribe (13:10)
  • Didn’t really know Jason until he was an adult, and then Jonah wanted nothing to do with him (23:04)
• Break (30:50)
  • Plugs for Scotch n Sports, Play Comics, and Cullen Bunn
• Treatment (32:26)
  • In-universe - Pretend to be captured and take the opportunity to speak with him
  • Out of universe -
• Skit (40:06)
  • Hello Jonah, I’m Dr. Issues. - Doc.
  • I understand this can all be a bit overwhelming, so please feel free to say as much or as little as you need. - Yer right, s’a lot to take in, but I’ve been in bigger scrapes n’ this, I can get by.
  • If you don’t mind my asking, how did you end up in this time anyway? - Truth told, I can’t recall. I’d just got done beatin’ the hell outta some horse’s ass come to town to cause trouble, went to a saloon to drink away the pain. Musta passed out, an’ when I woke up I was in a field. Took a walk to ask someone what happened, an’ come to find out I was in the future. Lucky for us, ain’t the first time I been in this now, but I ain’t never been in this HERE in this now. Best I can figure, someone either wants me here to fix somethin’, or they DON’T want me where I was so they can ruin it. Either way, I aim to find out what it is an’ go back home.
  • That’s… an incredible story. - Pfft, Doc, if’n you knew half o’ the things I seen an’ done, you’d turn whiter n’ a preacher’s collar. An’ for you that’d be quite a feat.
  • How vivid…shudder That’s not something I think I can help you with. Any hints about what you’re men to do? -Nope. Usually if it’s important whoever needs to get to me does it quick. These time folks ain’t about wastin’ it.
  • But what about wasting yours? -Whaddaya mean?
  • I mean, your time is as valuable to you as mine is to me. All of this jumping around and fighting for…for what? - I don’t get too attached to that.
  • But do you have…um…fun? Relaxation? -laughs Fun? Man, you ever get yer jaw rattled before, right on the scar that can’t bleed but still hurts like hell?
  • I’ve been punched, yeah, but not…where are you going with this? - I’m sayin’ that folks in my line of work don’t get cushy jobs, ain’t no vacation. If I get a night, or a woman…well, as you folks say work hard, play harder.
  • Still quite the visualist. Um…how about lasting relationships? -I’ve had boots that can last me a lifetime. That’s about it.
  • Family? -pauses Next question
  • But -interrupts NEXT. QUESTION.
  • Alright, Alright! Sheesh. Clearly a source of pain. Is that what gets you the most? -What gets me the most is nosey people trying to be cute and asking a question in a different way.
  • Sharp man -Bout as sharp as this huntin’ knife I always have handy. Wanna see?
  • Gulp I didn’t mean to -changing tone Naw man, I mean you want to look at this craftsmanship here? The serration is perfect. Easy to release the flesh on contact. Not as good as my usual blade, but better for survival stuff since I don’t have to fight right now. Skinnin’ carcasses for pelts. Plus it scares the shit outta most folks lookin’ to start trouble.
  • Whoa, your whole demeanor changed. You're…engaged? -What? I’ll never settle down like that, not agin’.
  • No, I mean you’re showing interest in something and want me to listen. I didn’t expect that. -Well what the hell am I here for? I thought doctors like you listen to people. Now I wanna talk about this, and you wanna talk about my family. Just listen would ya? I don’t get to ever do this unless I gotta save someone’s hide.
  • You…you lonely man. -Yelling STOP GETTING SOFT YA HEAR?
  • Yes Sir! -Now if you want, I can set up some sort of training for you, because it’s obvious you’re no survivalist. If I gotta be stuck here until I get home, you need to be useful.
  • Is this your way of bonding? -Oblivious Well I usually don’t have glue, so I just keep extra rope in my saddle bag. Comes in handy to keep bounties in check. But that kind of lesson comes with practice.
  • You’re making this awkward, and we’re running out of time. -Shucks, we’re just getting started. But don’t worry. I’ll figure out a way to get you a decent six-shooter; those new fangled guns just don’t have the same grip. A man’s gotta learn to fend for himself, ya get me son?
  • Don’t call me…oh wow. I don’t think you realize -Interrupting, clearly dismissive Well can’t keep talking like that, gotta find a place to hit the hay. I’ll make my way back to you, I’m sure of it. Just keep listening, I don’t get to be this much of a…sage to just anybody.
  • I’ll listen again, and again, and again. But I can’t fill that void forever. -flustered groan Just as long as it’s on the job. Nothing else. Stay safe, ya hear?
• Ending (44:53)
  • Recommended reading: Jonah Hex v2 (Palmiotti series)
  • Next episodes: Grandma Chainsaw 2, The Dog Knight w/ Jeremy Whitley & Bre Indigo, Adam Warlock
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network
    • Roseparkradio commented on YT: Let Anthony voice the Penguin in DC Animation NOW!

References:

• Red vs. Blue - Anthony (13:20)

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Step right up and listen to our episode about the most lethal carnival barker ever, ARCADE! Do Anthony & Doc press their luck and win big prizes, or do they hit a whammy with this assassin?

• Intro

• Background (2:02)

  • Arcade created by Chris Claremont and John Byrne in Marvel Team-Up #65 (Jan 1978)
  • Debuted as a hitman trying to kill Spider-Man and Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) in a game-like complex called Murderworld
  • He often reappears regularly, establishing a new Murderworld with the help of various assistants, all of them designed to kill different heroes or pairs of heroes
  • Murderworld is always filled with elaborate traps to extract maximum entertainment out of the killing, but Arcade always leaves his victims a sporting chance to escape - which they overwhelmingly do
  • One of his biggest stories was Avengers Arena, where he kidnapped 16 teen heroes and brought them to an island, forcing them to kill each other until one survives, Battle Royale-style - unlike most previous stories, he does manage to kill several of the heroes
  • Unlike many characters, little is known about Arcade’s background - he claims to have grown up wealthy, but he was cut off by his father, whom he murdered in response

• Issues (4:48)

  • Arcade. What Kevin McCallister probably would have become had he not grown up to be the Jigsaw Killer instead. The guy whose goofy panache and gimmicky trademarks bely a very dangerous and accomplished assassin. Arcade is one of those characters who's not even remotely a mystery in terms of his issues:
  • Obsession with violence for the sake of entertainment. Think of the amount of work that goes into building the Murderworlds we've seen in the comics. Finding the physical space. Laying the foundation for construction. The blueprints, the design. Building a structure strong enough to withstand the impact of super-powered beings. Meticulously engineering multiple complex mechanical, electrical, computer, and robotics systems that all have to work in tandem with one another. Countless quality assurance tests to make sure everything runs the way he intends them to. And he custom-designs these giant deathtraps for every target. As an assassin, if his objective was just to kill, he could easily just use a ten-cent bullet. The sheer lengths that he goes to in order to carry out his hits are proof positive that it's not about the killing or the money he's being paid to kill for him, he really, really enjoys watching his targets struggle against his machinations, and the entertainment level that the violence and mayhem provide him.
  • Disassociation with his actions. Much like the Jigsaw Killer, Arcade will never build a deathtrap that doesn't allow his victims a sporting chance to escape. Arcade has no philosophical motive towards making his targets appreciate their lives, however; he just doesn't think the game is any fun if the outcome is predetermined in advance. This does tend to cause him to overlook part of his own responsibility in what he's doing. It's not me killing these people. It's Murderworld. It's completely possible for them to win the game I've put them in, they're just not very good at it. (10:36)
  • Inferiority complex. As revealed in the Avengers Arena arc, Arcade has an extremely poor reputation among both the superhero and supervillain community. Although he has a sterling record killing run of the mill targets, he has failed to kill every single superhero he's ever been contracted to assassinate. This causes him to suffer a deep depression when he finds out about it -- at his own birthday party, no less. (15:10)
• Break (21:55)
  • Plugs for ODPH, Popcorn Psychology, and Chris Claremont
• Treatment (22:51)
  • In-universe -
  • Out of universe - People inured to the concept of violence when they see it on TV or on a computer screen, fans of contact or combat sports who turn themselves off to the pain being endured by the athletes for the sake of their entertainment.
  • As a possible in-universe or out-of-universe way of diverting his talents to something not quite so evil, tell me Arcade -- with his proclivity for presentation, entertainment, and high stakes -- wouldn't make a perfect booker for a professional wrestling company.
• Skit (39:55)
  • DOC: What? Huh? Where am I?
  • ARCADE: Hello Doctor Issues, welcome to Murderworld!
  • DOC: Who are you?
  • ARCADE: I’m your friendly host, Arcade! You’ll remember your stay here for the rest of your life. Unfortunately for you, that’ll be, oh, about five more minutes!
  • DOC: What? You won’t get away with this! As soon as I call…
  • ARCADE: Call whom? With what? You have no phone, no technology, no nothing. Let’s face it, Doc, you’re lonelier than a pimple-faced teen on prom night. But it’s not all bad news, let me give you the rundown on exactly what’s going to happen. You’ve got exactly five minutes to find the door that leads to your freedom, or this whole place will explode with the force of a hydrogen bomb, sending your atoms back into the oblivion from whence they came.
  • DOC: Why do I have a feeling you’re not exactly being honest with me?
  • ARCADE: What would I have to gain from lying? You find the door, you walk away free. On my honor.
  • DOC: All offense intended, that’s not exactly encouraging. What’s the catch?
  • ARCADE: Fair enough, good sir. Now, if you walk through the door you’re free. GETTING to the door, however… now there, I make no promises. Oh, and your clock starts… now.
  • DOC: running sounds OK, I think I see something in this wooded area… WHOA.
  • ARCADE: Ahh, here’s your first test. Sure, there’s a doorway just a few feet away. If only the whole ground, walls, and ceiling wasn’t covered with arthropods, bugs, and more legs than the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular!
  • DOC: shudders Yeesh.
  • ARCADE: Oh that’s right, I forgot, you’re terrified of…
  • DOC: Hup hup haaahh… joke’s on you, I’m not scared of bugs anymore. And I made it through the door with plenty of time to - aww man!
  • ARCADE: Alright, fine, you made it through that one. But here’s your next challenge - public speaking! All you have to do is recite the hippocratic oath in front of this crowd of people and TV cameras! Oh, such a shame I forgot to have a copy printed out for you in advance. Clock’s ticking and all that. Welp, I guess you’ll have to-
  • DOC: speedily I do solemnly swear, by that which I hold most sacred, that I will be loyal to the profession of medicine, and just and generous to its members. I will lead my life and practice my art in uprightness and honor. And unto whoever house I enter, it shall be for the good of the sick to the utmost of my power. Holding myself apart from corruption, from tempting, from vice. I will exercise my art solely for the cure of my patients, and I will perform no operation for criminal purpose, even if solicited…
  • ARCADE: Alright, hurry up and get to the finish so you can just die…
  • DOC: But I didn’t-
  • ARCADE: Bah, you didn’t stumble at all. I’m not worried, though, because there’s no way you’re going to make it through this last trap. Besides, you’ve only got thirty seconds left, and you won’t solve this math-
  • DOC: The limit does not exist. unlock sound door opens
  • ARCADE: I… I really thought I was going to do it this time. I did my research, found out what you were afraid of. And then the math thing, I mean who can do differential calculus in their head like that?
  • DOC: Haven’t been scared of bugs in years. Public speaking? Dude, I host a podcast. And the math thing… did you do all that just for a Mean Girls reference?
  • ARCADE: I gotta be honest, this wasn’t my best work. I don’t have my usual resources, I put a lot into Bitcoin, and whatever was in cash I had in Silicon Valley Bank. This kinda got slapped together.
  • DOC: Yeah, I can tell. My question is why?
  • ARCADE: Ever since I knocked off those teens, I was riding high for a while. Then things came crashing down, and I needed another big win. I thought taking out the psychiatrist to the caped community would put me back on top.
  • DOC: But why do you have to be back on top? Do you realize the level of engineering and coordination it takes to set something up like this? You have an understanding of logistics and detail most people could only dream of. If you stopped trying to focus on killing people and pivoted towards a legitimate business, you could be the best in the field at that.
  • ARCADE: But where’s the challenge? The sport in watching someone try to figure out if they’ll live? The adrenaline rush that you get seeing a person’s head explode like a balloon? Without that, it’s all just blueprints and greenbacks. There’s more to life than money, surely you can appreciate that.
  • DOC: I can, and far be it for me to tell someone not to pursue their passion. But when that passion comes at the expense of creating dangerous and deadly situations for innocent people, that’s where-
  • ARCADE: Oh come off it, Doctor. You can’t possibly believe these caped clowns are innocent? How much collateral damage do they cause on a regular basis? I’m willing to wager that even your office has been impacted by them on more than one occasion.
  • DOC: That’s not the point. That’s no reason to hurt or kill them.
  • ARCADE: I didn’t hear a denial. And anyway, it’s all in the name of entertainment. Do you watch sports? Football? Boxing? MMA? I just take humanity’s innate thirst for blood and guts, and I take it to its logical extremes. We thrill at the idea of someone pounding a man’s skull in until he’s incapable of speech, leaving him functionally brain dead towards the end of his life. But someone giving him the mercy of delivering a killing blow is beyond the pale? Let me ask you - would you rather remember Ali going out gracefully in 1978, or as a pale shell of his former self at the end of his life?
  • DOC: Even if that’s not a horrible analogy, which it absolutely is, you’re ignoring the most important thing: choice. You kidnap these people and force them to kill or survive. That’s not fair at all.
  • ARCADE: It’s not a guarantee that they’ll die. There’s always a sporting chance. Something to keep it interesting.
  • DOC: Interesting for whom? That’s my point.
  • ARCADE: For me, of course! What difference does it make if it doesn’t interest anyone else? But you know that’s false, too. Have you witnessed bare knuckle brawls, slap fighting, high speed racing? No one is there for competition alone. They all want to see someone’s life changed forever…or ended.
  • DOC: There’s one thing you keep forgetting to mention…choice. Free will. It’s obvious that you want complete control, AND you want violence. That’s a terrible combination.
  • ARCADE: We are made to compete. It’s our nature. And we are destined to die. I make sure these happen at peak performance value.
  • DOC: Then what’s the difference between a game and…snaps fingers a game? That’s it! A game!
  • ARCADE: What are you getting at?
  • DOC: Ever seen Wipeout? MXC? Ninja Warrior? Those are voluntary shows with some brutal consequences but people consider them to be in poor taste, not horrific.
  • ARCADE: slow to understand And so…
  • DOC: You could outplan all of those contraptions, I’m sure of it! But you’re so stuck on one note that you’ve limited your creativity. It’s death or nothing for you. How dull.
  • ARCADE: You mean…permanent disfigurement?
  • DOC: sigh Broader than that! How about temporary embarrassment? Self doubt leading to self actualization. Impossible mortal feats being made possible to the non-caped community!
  • ARCADE: Well, necromancy is where I draw the line
  • DOC: Ugh…aaaaaanyway, my point is, do you think you could create a course so deviant that no one could solve it, and still not die?
  • ARCADE: pause You are an absolute MADMAN, you know that?
  • DOC: I’m sure it would have the backing of several major networks worth billions of dollars to the inventor and producer.
  • ARCADE: pause My world is spinning right now. This is all absurd. You don’t put people through trials and torture just to watch them succeed!
  • DOC: Is it really that much worse than putting them through trials to DIE and they STILL succeed?
  • ARCADE: Perhaps not. We’ll have to agree to disagree then.
  • DOC: pause wait, that’s all? No extra ranting? No threats to kill me some other way? Just letting me go?
  • ARCADE: I gave my word. You’re not an interesting target anyway. You have no abilities, no talent, and it’s obvious you don’t do much for patients besides giving them guilt trips.
  • DOC: That’s a low blow
  • ARCADE: No hard feelings. Shake on it?
  • DOC: clearly wary You serious right now?
  • ARCADE: Always find ways to be serious when you’re having fun, doctor.
  • DOC: Alright sound effects of struggle
  • ARCADE: YOU CHEATER!
  • DOC: out of breath I may not know combat techniques, but I learned how to perform a patient takedown! You’re not going anywhere until the proper authorities arrive sound effect of handcuffs and it’s not a great idea to leave restraint equipment around even if you don’t think anyone will be alive to use it.
  • ARCADE: This isn’t fair! I demand a do-over! A reset! …
• Ending
  • Recommended reading:Avengers Arena
  • Next episodes: Jonah Hex, Mister Sinister, Jeremy & Bre interview
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Tolerance paradox - Anthony (21:18)
• Motorhead “The Game” - Doc (51:27)

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Things get chilly as we tackle PENGUIN! How has this businessman managed to survive in Gotham so long? Listen to find out!

• Intro
• Background (4:30)
• • The Penguin, Oswald Cobblepot, created by Bill Finger & Bob Kane in Detective Comics #58 (Dec. 1941)
  • The Penguin was one of Batman’s earliest nemeses – a short, stout man with a long, beaklike nose who dressed in a top hat and monocle
  • He started off as a thief who worked with a bird motif in his robberies, but almost always managed to outsmart Batman & Robin and escape
  • Name was finally revealed as Oswald Cobblepot in The Best of DC #10 (March 1981) – his backstory was that of a bullied child with an overprotective mother who was obsessed with birds, and after she died he entered a life of crime to seek vengeance upon the world that shunned him
  • After repeatedly being beaten by Batman, and further embarrassed by Jean-Paul Valley, he opens a restaurant casino called the Iceberg Lounge, which he uses as a front for criminal activity, and begins operating as a criminal overlord
  • In No Man’s Land, he remains in Gotham after everyone abandons it following the earthquake – his connections make him one of the most powerful people in the city
  • Occasionally serves as an informant to Batman, who keeps a close eye on him – Batman feels the Penguin is a necessary evil, and any power vacuum created by his absence would be worse than he is
• Issues - Overcompensation (8:12)
• • Ariel – why someone born to wealth would end up as a crime lord
  • Ariel – his bizarre relationship with women (15:28)
  • Semi-Oedipal complex with his mother (24:18)
• Break (32:58)
• • Plugs for Grief Burrito, Freudian Sips, and Saladin Ahmed
• Treatment (34:22)
• • In-universe - Use financial planning to help him reconfigure his goals & desires
  • Out of universe - spoiled affluenza-ridden orphan who uses their money to seek revenge on people (39:09)
• Skit (43:24)
• • Hello Mr. Cobblepot, I’m Dr. Issues – And a good day to you too, sir. Might I interest you in a glass of champagne while we talk? It’s a 1959 Dom Perignon Rose.
  • I don’t drink while I’m working, and I’m not certain you should be drinking during a session either. How did you even get a bottle and glasses past the security? – Oh posh, you needn’t bother yourself with trifling matters such as that. I certainly don’t. Life is so short, so why not enjoy the fine things? Were we not put here to take advantage of all life has to offer?
  • Be that as it may, I’ll pass. I must say, I’m rather surprised at your cavalier attitude, given your… current surroundings. – A temporary snafu, Doctor. Rest assured this will all be taken care of presently. A man of my stature doesn’t stay imprisoned for very long. Now I assume you’re here to provide an overview of my mental health for the DA’s office? Well let me save you the trouble, I’m entirely compos mentis. So you can go ahead and just copy the report from the last time I was here, update the dates, maybe summarize that brief misunderstanding I had with the Bat about how I came to acquire the jewelry, and we’ll both be on our way.
  • Nice try, but I’m afraid it won’t be quite so simple. – Oh but it will be. You see, dear Doctor, there are two sets of rules in this world. There’s one set for people like you – and rest assured that statement has nothing to do with the amount of melanin in your skin – where you remain subject to a dull life filled with repetition and servitude, hoping to rise above your status like Icarus, but inevitably your wings melt and you land with a thud among the common rabble. You spend your entire life trying to escape the box. And then there’s another set of rules for people like me, which is to say there are no rules. I don’t have to envision escaping the box, because for me there never was a box.
  • And yet here you are, quite literally inside a box, while I sit comfortably outside of it. – Again, this is a temporary setback.
  • So since you’re temporarily in the box, let’s talk. You could do anything you wanted with your resources. Why did you choose crime? – I came from a lineage of people accustomed to a particular lifestyle, and my family had plans for me. Unfortunately, those plans were incompatible with my… appearance. My family was not so understanding or appreciative of my unique nature. And after they all befell such horrible tragedies and accidents, it was just me and dear mother. She was so lonely and needed someone to take care of her. So I did what any good son did. I established myself and gave her the lifestyle she deserved.
  • By taking from others who also deserve the same lifestyle? Because you say so? You can see the slippery slope where I’m taking this -Oh but my dear doctor, there is no need for imagination when it comes to that level of speculatory relevance. Look around you! To be frank, neither of us need to worry ourselves with the dregs of society. That’s not what I’m about. That’s why my club still has the highest rating in Travel and Leisure Magazine as I bide my time…legally indisposed.
  • Fascinating. You really do care what people think of you, don’t you. Not your looks; you’re beyond that now. But the glamor of it all. Prestige is your love language. That explains why you don’t care about Gotham. -pause I beg your pardon?
  • Well I mean it seems like you’re willing to gut the essence of a major city and pollute it with crime. At least white collar types usually try to coat their disdain with gentrification. -I would do no such thing
  • Interrupting Arson, theft, assault, terroristic threats, those are the accusations on your rap sheet. Heck, Al Capone got caught for tax evasion. How is it that unsophisticated thugs can cover their tracks better than you, and you keep up with the facade of a distinguished gentleman? - Careful, Doctor, your tongue is starting to betray the rest of your body. It’d be a shame to have to excise it from your skull.
  • So you don’t like what I have to say. That’s the type of stress any gentleman would encounter in normal interaction. That shouldn’t lead to threats of violence. -The only correction I must make is that it is not a threat. It is a guarantee.
  • Alright, if that’s the way you’re going to go about it, then there is no point in continuing to talk. -But there is, my dear doctor. You see, I have no intention of ending this discussion without expanding my…sphere of influence. And no, that is not in reference to my physical form.
  • What sort of influence can I add for you? -You know people. Important people. Otherwise, you would not be assigned to evaluate me. But I can leverage that to my advantage. Tell me, Dr. Issues, what your career would look like, if you were named an accomplice to my crimes?
  • laughs that’s not possible. -Really now? Even though I have access to my own records and can reverse engineer them to say that you knew about all of them and never reported them?
  • But this is the first time I’ve seen -interrupting it doesn’t matter what we SAY, here, doctor, only what is documented. You know that. I’m not privy to share my ways, but let’s just say that, oh right about now, several friends and family will learn of your attempts on their lives, their residences, their places of employment…all because you wanted to be more powerful and wanted my help. tsk tsk tsk for shame, a psychiatrist driven mad with power, and my confession with impeccable transcription the only remaining source of legitimate inquiry. I had to stop you of course, because I AM the one who cares for Gotham you see.
  • You…you had all of this planned from the start? -Certainly. Now, I’d be willing to trade. None of those events continue, if you would be so kind as to give me details on Batman and everyone he has come into contact with. Oh, I may still kill you, but at least everyone else is spared and you are made to look like some sort of martyr. Sounds like a bargain to me.
  • deep sigh I’m scared to say no. -Splendid. Now if you could just.
  • interrupting Scared, not unwilling. No deal. -Preposterous! angry You simpleton! You are truly going to throw away your career and everyone you know just for the sake of righteousness? Absurd.
  • You’re right. I’m way too practical for that. jet plane and random siren sound effects Yeah, I think I did the right thing. -What does that mean?
  • It means that the same people you wanted to hurt are the same people that are being protected and rescued by the same people you wanted dirt on -Stop saying “same people!” For someone with alleged intelligence you limit your vocabulary too much.
  • Not a priority. Plus I know it pisses you off. -realization You too had this all planned from the start.
  • Eh, not quite. But someone else did. Take a guess. - YOU DO KNOW HIM. This is too much! You will not play me like a cheap fiddle!
  • Oh it’s clear you’d be quite expensive and rare. But I’ll admit that we’re not a good fit because I don’t follow the collectibles market. So I’ll sign off of your case for now. You were giving me the cold shoulder anyway. - STOP WITH YOUR PUNS wenk wenk wenk

• Ending (52:07)

• • Recommended reading: Penguin: Pain & Prejudice
  • Next episodes: Arcade, Jonah Hex, Mister Sinister
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Bane episode - Anthony (5:45)
• Azrael episode - Anthony (5:48)
• Veruca Salt - Anthony (14:08)
• “Money, Power, Respect” by the Lox feat. DMX & Lil’ Kim (NSFW) - Anthony (14:19)
• “Last Time That I Checc’d” by Nipsey Hussle - Doc (14:38)
• “I Can’t Make You Love Me” - Bonnie Raitt - Anthony (22:49)
• • Tank’s Version - Doc (23:00)
• Norman Bates - Anthony (24:30)

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A bit late, but we finally bring the thunder down and examine Billy Batson/Captain Marvel/Shazam! And for some reason, Matchbox 20 factors in. It makes sense in context, trust us…

• Intro
  • Apologies for delay on episode
  • Belated 5th anniversary celebration!

• Background (2:20)

  • Shazam/Captain Marvel, Billy Batson, created by Bill Parker and CC Beck in Whiz Comics #2 (Feb. 1940)
  • Originally designed as six superheroes, each with the power of a mythical figure, they were combined into one hero as Captain Marvel
  • Billy Batson is a 12 year old orphan who can transform into a superhero called Captain Marvel by speaking the word SHAZAM, an acronym of the six immortal elders/gods who gave him his power: Solomon (wisdom), Hercules (strength), Atlas (stamina), Zeus (power), Achilles (courage), and Mercury (speed)
  • Later issues introduced members of the extended Marvel family, who shared Billy’s powers - Captain Marvel Jr. (Freddy Freeman), Mary Marvel (Billy’s twin sister Mary), and others, as well as his nemeses Black Adam, Doctor Sivana, Mister Mind, and more
  • In the 1940s, Captain Marvel was more popular than Superman, and at one point was selling over a million copies per issue
  • In 1941, the precursor to DC Comics (National Comics) sued Fawcett Comics for copyright infringement, claiming Captain Marvel was too similar to Superman - although losing the initial claim, DC won an appeal, and in 1953 Fawcett settled monetarily with DC, because by this point the Captain Marvel books weren’t selling nearly as well, agreeing to cease publication
  • In 1967 Marvel Comics created their own character named Captain Marvel (Mar-Vell), and secured the trademark
  • In 1972, DC Comics licensed the characters from Fawcett, but was unable to name the book Captain Marvel due to Marvel’s trademark - the characters could retain their names, however, so the new book was called Shazam!
  • The 1970s saw the Marvel family established on Earth-S in the DC multiverse, with occasional crossovers, until Crisis, where they were fully integrated into the streamlined DC New Earth
  • 1994 - The Power of Shazam! retconned his backstory - his parents were archaeologists killed by their associate Theo Adam, who steals a magic scarab - Theo becomes Black Adam, who realizes who Billy is after determining he looks just like his father
  • Played a critical role in Kingdom Come, where he famously squares off against Superman
  • Joined the JSA in the early 2000s to keep Black Adam in check
  • In the New 52, he was officially renamed Shazam, since the book couldn’t be called Captain Marvel anyway, and the Marvel family was renamed the Shazam family - all the children were other foster kids alongside Billy, who retained his youthful nature but was more cynical than previously written
  • New series coming in June written by Mark Waid

• Issues - more than you think you are (13:02)

  • Shazam picks a child to be the world’s greatest hero - heavy burden on such young shoulders
  • No parents to help him with this burden - so he created his own found family
  • Serves as functional avatar of six gods across various pantheons (23:15)
• Break (28:44)
  • Plugs for Hops Geek, Frigay the 13th, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson
• Treatment (30:55)
  • In-universe - sessions with Billy & Shazam, and then compare notes
  • Out of universe - foster kid (36:38)

• Skit (44:18)

  • DOC: Hello Shazam, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • BILLY: Oh please, just call me Billy.
  • DOC: Hi, Billy! Wassup. Hi five!
  • BILLY: Ok, you’re trying too hard.
  • DOC: What?
  • BILLY: I can tell you think I’m cool, but Just call me Billy…and you can put your hand down.
  • DOC: Crash and burn. muttering Nice one, doc. normal voice So Billy, what can I do for you?
  • BILLY: Are you the one that writes prescriptions and stuff? I don’t really need that.
  • DOC: Yes…but I don’t tend to write many for kids unless it’s absolutely necessary. Are you having trouble with school?
  • BILLY: No.
  • DOC: At home?
  • BILLY: Nope.
  • DOC: With friends?
  • BILLY: It’s complicated.
  • DOC: Aha! Now we’re getting somewhere. So what’s going on with your friends?
  • BILLY: Not much.
  • DOC:pause Sooooo…it’s not a problem, really?
  • BILLY: Not anything you can do about it.
  • DOC:Try me.
  • BILLY: Can you make them younger?
  • DOC:No.
  • BILLY: Can you make them understand me?
  • DOC:Ummm…not directly
  • BILLY: See? Waste of time.
  • DOC:Hold it! I’m not giving up yet.
  • BILLY: Cool.
  • DOC:pause, desperate Uhhhhh…what games do you like?
  • BILLY: Not any you’d care about.
  • DOC:Whoa dude. I’m used to being shut out but you’re a ninja at cutting people off.
  • BILLY: It’s a gift, I guess.
  • DOC:Really? What other gifts you got? I don’t get to hang around aliens or gods or any of that stuff, so I know I’m clearly sarcastic OUT OF MY LEAGUE HAHAHA
  • BILLY: pause What is wrong with you?
  • DOC:run-on An intense level of sarcasm that acts as a veneer to cover plenty of deep caring for the world at large even when I want to be left alone. And you?
  • BILLY: Same. whoa…WHOA…nobody says that. No DOCTOR says that.
  • DOC:No doctor admits it, you mean. I’m probably not supposed to say it like that. But honesty in myself helps me sleep at night even when nothing else goes my way. I try to match the room. If I can’t ,I just shut down.
  • BILLY: TMI my man.
  • DOC:Is it? I’m filling time. Usually I’ll stay silent for a whole session, but that’s no fun. I’m trying something different. There must be something about you. I don’t open up to just anyone, so you must have some sort of connection even if you don’t admit it. But then again, there’s this theory that
  • BILLY: interrupting Do you ever shut up?
  • DOC:Always.
  • BILLY: awkward silence What, you want me to talk now?
  • DOC:You don’t have to.
  • BILLY: more awkward silence So we’re really going to sit here forever until I say something?
  • DOC:No, just until the end of the session….or you do the thing.
  • BILLY: What thing?
  • DOC:You know the thing.
  • BILLY: No
  • DOC:Come on, do the thing! Say it! Please?
  • BILLY: Are you just a fanboy?
  • DOC:Not really. I just wonder if you’re different when you say it. I bet you are
  • BILLY: No.
  • DOC:I’ll make the session free
  • BILLY: No
  • DOC:I’ll make the next session free
  • BILLY: I don’t want another session
  • DOC:I’ll cancel the next session
  • BILLY: Fine. SHA-wait, I could just no-show the next session
  • DOC:I have a cancellation fee
  • BILLY: I don’t care! You’re just trying to use me like everyone else.
  • DOC:hurt Ouch. Look. I’m bad at jokes like this, and it’s obvious I’m throwing a lot of stuff at the wall to see what sticks. First I tried to treat you like a typical patient, but that was selling you short. Then I tried to relate to you with something that you admit hit you personally, and you didn’t go for it. Then I tried flattery, and you felt insulted. I don’t know what works for you, but this ain’t it. If you want somebody else to see you, fine. But I’m not giving up. Somebody can help if you have things to talk through.
  • BILLY: Why would you talk to someone that doesn’t want to talk to you?
  • DOC:Have you ever had to deal with somebody that didn’t want to deal with you?
  • BILLY: Yeah.
  • DOC:And you did it anyway?
  • BILLY: Yeah.

  + DOC:Why? +

  + BILLY: That’s different. I’m trying to save people. +

  + DOC:So am I, in a much different way. I can’t do it the way you do. But I don’t give up on lost causes. +

  + BILLY: You sound like some people I know. +

  + DOC:Is that a good thing? +

  + BILLY: Knowing them, yeah. But they keep getting in more and more trouble, and they keep fighting, and then they talk about it all the time. What if I don’t want to do that? What If I want to have fun? Or quit? Or hang out? I want to do what I want. They want me to be like Superman or Batman +

  + DOC:Then find a way to do it with your own style. Who cares if it’s not just like them? Don’t be a copy. +

  + BILLY: Nobody told me that before. +

  + DOC:sarcastic clapping Hooray, I did something. Yaaaay. Is there anything else? +

  + BILLY: You’re still strange, you know that? +

  + DOC:Not for copyright purposes +

  + BILLY: What? +

  + DOC:Nothing. Now, for giving you one talking point +

  + BILLY: interrupting fine SHAZAM! sound effects See? No big deal, I’m still Billy. +

  + DOC:sobbing +

  + BILLY: Are you crying? +

  + DOC:THAT WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER THANK YOU SO MUCH I AM MAKING YOU A FREE PATIENT FOR LIFE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD +

  + BILLY: Most people just ask for an autograph. + *

• Ending (50:43) + Recommended reading: The Power of Shazam!

  + Next episodes: The Penguin, Arcade, Jonah Hex +

  + Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network + *

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We descend to the depths of Hell to talk Satan's Ambassador, the ORIGINAL Black Widow, CLAIRE VOYANT!

Issue 170 - Claire Voyant

• Intro
  • Mention Quantumania recap episode
• Background (2:15)
  • Claire Voyant, the original Black Widow, created by George Kapitan & Harry Sahle in Mystic Comics #4 (August 1940)
  • Not only is she the first Black Widow, decades before Natasha Romanoff, but she is the first costumed female superheroine in comic books
  • Claire Voyant is a spirit who can communicate with the dead
  • She is possessed by Satan to curse a family she is working with, but the husband survives the spell and kills her
  • When she arrives in Hell, she is resurrected by Satan and sent back to Earth with the ability to kill evildoers with a single touch, so he can harvest their souls
  • She also has the ability to fly and generate fire, she is superhumanly strong, and she has various psychic abilities
  • Only makes five appearances between 1940-1943
  • Brought back in The Twelve by J. Michael Straczynski, alongside 11 other obscure Timely Comics characters
  • Retconned history has her become the Black Widow in 1928 after her sister was murdered by her husband – as she stands over the grave, she wishes for the power to avenge her death, and Satan answers
  • She and the other characters are knocked unconscious and put in suspended animation during WWII – awoken in 2008, she resumes serving Satan, while falling in love with the Phantom Reporter, Dick Jones
• Issues (8:24)
  • Deal with Devil
  • Distances herself from people because of her abilities
  • Seems to have less difficulty adapting to modern culture, but only because she seeks out specific subgroups (goths) (19:54)
• Break (29:38)
  • Plugs for Comic Book Keepers, Into the Knight, and Chris Claremont
• Treatment (31:26)
  • In-universe - Connect her with souls she’s impacted
  • Out of universe (34:20)
• Skit (feat. Theo Kitsinger as Claire) (39:04)
  • DOC: Hello Claire, I’m Doctor Issues.
  • CLAIRE: Hello Doctor.
  • DOC: I just want to let you know this is a judgment-free zone, and you can feel free to speak your mind. This is a safe space.
  • CLAIRE: I appreciate your intention, Doctor, but unfortunately for me there is no such thing as a safe space.
  • DOC: Oh, I am constantly updating various defenses and technology to help protect-
  • CLAIRE: What I mean is there is nowhere I can go where my dark master cannot find me. No hole I can hide in to avoid him or his call.
  • DOC: Oh, I see. And which dark master is that?
  • CLAIRE: He goes by many names, but I believe you’d recognize the name Satan?
  • DOC: Just so we’re clear, your master is… the literal Devil?
  • CLAIRE: Lucifer, Shaitan, the Fallen Angel, Beelzebub… again, many names.
  • DOC: I see. And you serve him because…
  • CLAIRE: I sold my soul in exchange for the ability to avenge my sister’s killer. As decisions go, it was not my finest moment, but I am beholden nonetheless.
  • DOC: OK. Is he in here with us now…?
  • CLAIRE: Are you an agent of evil?
  • DOC: Certainly hope not.
  • CLAIRE: Then you have nothing to fear.
  • DOC: So says YOU.
  • CLAIRE: If you like, I can enter your mind and assuage your fears in another way.
  • DOC: Thanks, but I don’t care for anyone poking around upstairs. Plus it’d violate patient-client confidentiality in ways I don’t even want to imagine. So let’s just stick to chatting, and I’ll do my best to ignore the presence of the literal devil.
  • CLAIRE: So that’s your solution? Pay no mind to the evil that surrounds us at all times?
  • DOC: I never said that. Trust me, every day I go to work I’m confronted with the evils humanity is capable of. But one of the benefits of this job is the ability to do something about it, and to help people address some of their… less beneficial tendencies.
  • CLAIRE: Interesting outlook. Do you fancy yourself a superhero?
  • DOC: Goodness no. I simply try my best to be a net positive for good in the world.
  • CLAIRE: Do you have any powers?
  • DOC: I think that’s enough questions about me for now. Let’s refocus the discussion a bit. Do you struggle with having to serve the Devil?
  • CLAIRE: hesitates No.
  • DOC: Forgive me for not believing you entirely.
  • CLAIRE: It’s just… I was frozen in time for sixty years. When I awoke, I thought maybe… I would be free of my burden. But it seems that I will have to do this forever.
  • DOC: And, at the risk of sounding cliché, how does that make you feel?
  • CLAIRE: It’s… complicated. I can rid the world of evil. I’ve avenged my sister’s killer, and so many others who would do harm to the innocent. I have powers most would only dream of. My looks will never fade nor tarnish. And still…
  • DOC: You question whether it was worth it.
  • CLAIRE: Every day.
  • DOC: What do you dream about?
  • CLAIRE: I don’t sleep. At least… not in the way normal people do. It’s more of a recharge after using my abilities.
  • DOC: On one hand, I’m tempted to go down the rabbit hole of how your lack of full sleep cycles can destroy you as a functioning person, but you’re probably immortal so…um…I won’t. Forget the literal. What are your wishes? What’s your next goal?
  • CLAIRE: I don’t think I have any. There’s not much room for that sort of thing. The next soul, I guess.
  • DOC: And how do you build your life around that?
  • CLAIRE: I kill them. awkward pause Is there supposed to be something else?
  • DOC: exasperated ANYTHING else. Does your boss have a quota or something?
  • CLAIRE: He keeps track, but I don’t…not really, I had a gap of decades.
  • DOC: Then there are no excuses. You’re the ultimate freelance worker. Cater your time to your whims. Relationships, hobbies, I don’t care. Experiment.
  • CLAIRE: You can sit there with a straight face and tell a psychic succubus to get a life?
  • DOC: gulp Well, I…um…
  • CLAIRE: As if I could randomly find meaning in unimportant human things anymore. What, you’re going to try and be a matchmaker, too? Tinder takes on a whole new meaning around me.
  • DOC: I don’t know about any of that, but is there anyone you’re the least interested in?
  • CLAIRE: No… maybe. It’s complicated.
  • DOC: You don’t want that person to get hurt in the end.
  • CLAIRE: pause So it’s not so complicated. Stop shutting down everything I say!
  • DOC: I’m not shutting anything down. You put barriers up the moment you sacrificed everything so long ago. That was a temporary view you decided to make permanent for whatever your reason, and I’m sure it was good at that point. You’re beyond that now, but you're still trying to make everything in the world fit inside some tiny dark space in your mind. I can flip it around so your powerful mind can master what the world can offer.
  • CLAIRE: So you’ll turn me into the greatest supervillain ever… I think my boss already has that title.
  • DOC: OF COURSE NOT! I’m saying…think Goth Influencer, or Demonic Consultant. You have so much to offer to society besides knocking off the next pedophile or mass murderer or whoever.
  • CLAIRE: But what if I don’t want that attention? I don’t necessarily want to be publicly known as an agent of Satan. The internal pressure is bad enough.
  • DOC: Then be in the background; just don’t bury your talent because it’s based in darkness instead of light. I don’t have all of the answers, but I refuse to let you wither away like a soulless husk. Plus if I’m honest, you scare me. The patients I’ve had who didn’t try something new, just…well, it wasn’t good.
  • CLAIRE: This whole time, I’ve been studying your mind. Your soul, even. I can’t find a bit of insincerity in anything you say. I find your view to be naive…but I can work with that.
  • DOC: Thanks…? So does this mean you’re not going to send me to your boss?
  • CLAIRE: You’re safe. For the time being, anyway. Thank you Doctor, I look forward to a future discussion.
  • DOC: Excellent. You can talk to my assistant and schedule your next session.
  • CLAIRE: I think I’ll just come find you if and when that moment arrives. Shall we shake on it?
  • DOC: Y’know what, let’s just wave and call it a day.

• Ending (46:48)

• Recommended reading: The Twelve

• Next episodes: Penguin, Shazam, Arcade
• Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Ghost Trick - Doc (33:48)

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Anthony & Doc share their (re-recorded) thoughts on the new Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania film! The first half is spoiler-free, but the second half definitely gets into spoilers, so be warned! Plus Doc's daughter makes a brief appearance!

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We talk with the writer of Tim Drake: Robin, Meghan Fitzmartin! This previously Patreon-exclusive hits the main feed - listen now!

• Intro

• Background

  • First creator who’s also a podcaster - tell us about the scripted audio dramas
  • TV & animation work - was that spun out of podcasts?
  • How did you get started in writing comics?

• Tim Drake series

  • How did you get the gig writing Batman: Urban Legends?
  • Decision to make Tim bisexual - how much input did you have, was it editorial
    • Continuation of his story in Pride special & solo series
    • Creation of side characters in marina
    • Tim very distinct Robin - how to maintain that clarity of character & separation from rest of Batfamily
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Tim Drake: Robin
  • Next episodes: Claire Voyant, Penguin, Shazam
  • Plugs for social

Apple Podcasts: here

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We take a look at ANIMAL SIDEKICKS! Which ones are helpful to their humans, and which ones are just kinda... there?

• Intro
• • Reference Linear Kang cut

• Background (02:45)

• Lockheed

• • Created by Chris Claremont & Paul Smith in The Uncanny X-Men #166 (Feb. 1983)
  • Alien dragon (called Flock) and sidekick to Kitty Pryde of the X-Men - he actually considers her to be his pet
  • One story made reference to ability to speak English, but otherwise he can understand it but only makes animal noises
• Gleek (10:23)
• • Debuted in the All-New Super Friends Hour (Sept. 10, 1977), and made his first appearance in comics in Super Friends #7 (Oct. 1977)
  • Blue alien monkey and friend to Zan & Jayna, the Wonder Twins
  • He can understand English, but only capable of chittering
• Lockjaw (17:36)
• • Created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby in the Fantastic Four #45 (Dec. 1965)
  • Giant dog who serves as the transporter for the Inhumans
  • Treated by the Inhumans as a pet, but a loyal and well-cared-for one
• Krypto (25:42)
• • Created by Otto Binder & Curt Swan in Adventure Comics #210 (March 1955)
  • Kryptonian dog who is Superman’s loyal pet & companion
  • Has sacrificed himself a few times in various DC continuities to protect his master & save people, including attacking Mongul, and he bit Kryptonite Man to save Clark, dying of poisoning shortly afterwards
  • In one story, responsible for the Great Chicago Fire of 1871

• Ending

• • Recommended reading: Lockjaw & the Pet Avengers
  • Next episodes: Claire Voyant, Meghan Fitzmartin, Penguin
  • Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network

References:

• Laika - Anthony (26:14)

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Google Play: here

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TuneIn: here

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Please enjoy this recut of our Kang episode where the segments flow in the standard order, for those people who were confused by/didn't care for the experimental nature of the original release :)

Just before Quantumania releases, we travel through time with KANG THE CONQUEROR! This temporally unstable episode is our most ambitious yet - don't miss it!

• Intro
  • Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania coming out Feb. 17 - Anthony & Doc will do a review mini-episode after the film drops

• Background

  • Kang the Conqueror, Nathaniel Richards, created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby
  • Due to Kang’s time-traveling abilities, his backstory, and even creation, are difficult to pin down
  • Rama-Tut - first appeared in Fantastic Four #19 (Oct. 1963) - a time-traveling criminal from the year 3000 who went back to ancient Egypt
  • In Sept. 1964, in Avengers #8, Rama-Tut reveals he traveled to the year 4000 and is called Kang the Conqueror
  • Two months later (Nov. 1964), Immortus debuts in Avengers #10, and was later retroactively revealed as another variant of Kang
  • Another variant appears a few years later - the Scarlet Centurion (Avengers Annual #2 - Sept. 1968)
  • A heroic version was introduced in Young Avengers #1 (Feb. 2005) - Iron Lad
  • Later revealed that Kang is actually Nathaniel Richards, a descendant of Reed Richards’ father
  • Reed’s father traveled forward to the 31st century and brought peace to a war-ravaged Earth - it was here he had a child, named Nathaniel
  • Nathaniel grew up bored of the simple peace he lived, and when he was 16, he stole a time machine, traveled back to Egypt, and became Rama-Tut
  • He then traveled to the “present”, where he met Dr. Doom and became inspired by him
  • Attempting to travel to his home timeline, he passed it by a thousand years, and upon learning that he can easily take over the war-torn planet, decides to go back to when Earth was fruitful so he can make it more worthwhile
  • Often shows up as a foe of the Avengers, but sometimes he battles the Fantastic Four
  • Major storylines:
    • Celestial Madonna - searching for a woman destined to carry a powerful child, he finds Mantis, but is thwarted by alternative versions of himself - here we learn that Immortus and Rama-Tut are also Kang, but after Kang overloads his armor, he destroys himself, deleting Immortus and Rama-Tut from existence as well
    • Council of Kangs - Three variants create a triumvirate to eliminate all other versions, but Ravonna (Kang’s lover) tricks one of them into death before Immortus is destroyed by Prime Kang, the only one who remains
    • Avengers Forever - Kang rejects Immortus, and allies with the Avengers to prevent Immortus from allying with the Time Keepers - this involves keeping Rick Jones alive and Avengers from other timelines
    • Kang Dynasty - Kang, along with his son Marcus (operating as Scarlet Centurion), takes over the Earth in order to save it from a horrific future - although he initially conquers the world, he is defeated by the Avengers, with help from a traitorous clone of Marcus, who is infatuated with Carol Danvers (not unlike another version of Marcus)
    • Responsible for the creation of the Young Avengers - 16 year old Nate Richards is rescued by Kang and shown his future growth into the despot, but this horrifies young Nate, and he uses the time-travel technology and transports himself to the past, where he arrives as the Avengers have been disassembled - he downloads the Vision’s operating system into his armor, and this amalgamation (Iron Lad) assembles a new team of younger heroes to prevent Kang from rising up in the first place

• Issues

  • Hedonic adaptation and the Diderot Effect
  • Narcissism
  • Technophilia
• Break
  • Plugs for Cheers to Comics, Adventures in Erylia, and Meghan Fitzmartin
• Treatment theme: Anything, but not everything
  • In-universe
  • Out of universe

• Skit

  • KANG: And now, my boy, it is time for you to DIE!
  • DOC: Wait, it’s not supposed to happen like this!
  • • warp sound* IRON LAD: Doctor Issues, I presume?
  • DOC: What the - who the - what the -
  • IRON LAD: I understand, the whole time manipulation thing can be overwhelming.
  • DOC: But you were just trying to kill me!
  • IRON LAD: Oh no, sorry, that’s a different me.
  • DOC: Excuse me?
  • IRON LAD: You can call me Iron Lad. Or Nate.
  • DOC: So you’re NOT trying to kill me?
  • IRON LAD: Nope, definitely not. I had to warp you out of there, because if you died, it throws the entire timeline outta whack.
  • DOC: But you look just like the guy I was in there…
  • IRON LAD: Yeah, he’s me from the future, but he showed me what it looked like, and I want absolutely nothing to do with that. So I went back to the past, which is your present, to stop myself from becoming him in the future. But the Avengers were gone, so I found the Vision’s brain and downloaded it into my armor, and now here I am.
  • DOC: I’m so confused…
  • IRON LAD: I don’t blame you. Sometimes I have to remind myself of who I am now, not who I was or who I might be.
  • DOC: So what happens now?
  • IRON LAD: I’m going to put you back in your office, just a liiiiitle bit earlier in the timestream, so you don’t make the mistakes that lead up to whatever it was that made Kang want to kill you.
  • DOC: That’s just it, I don’t even remember what it was. He just got up out of the chair and pointed a weapon at me.
  • IRON LAD: Sadly, that’s just how he is. He gets this idea in his head, and no matter what anyone says or does, he will do it come hell or high water. Sometimes I think I do it because I don’t want anyone else dictating my destiny.
  • DOC: Are we talking about him or you?
  • IRON LAD: Uhh… ok, time to send you back now, good luck!
  • DOC: Oh no, don’t warp me like this, it feels like I’m warp sound drowning in-
  • KANG: - the annals of history are simultaneously drowning in-
  • DOC: Gaaaaah!
  • KANG: You primitive dare interrupt Kang! You inadvertently prove my point about the vast majority of individuals who are mindless filler for the planet. Important resources wasted on people who can never comprehend how trivial their existence is to the grand scheme of time and history. That is one of my goals, to separate those who are worthy to share in the existence I plan on ushering forth from these… carbon-based cretins. And so far, you have done nothing to dissuade me from counting you in the latter group.
  • DOC: Sorry, it’s just… I wasn’t feeling like myself. As to your point, philosophers have discussed the value of human existence for millenia.
  • KANG: Those simpering academics? Bah. Very few are capable of acknowledging the meaningless of their lives, and ironically it is those who are best equipped to assist me in my plans.
  • DOC: So… you’re looking for nihilists?
  • KANG: Only in nihilism can you find the ultimate freedom.
  • DOC: I don’t understand. You keep speaking in circles, can you please be direct and just - talk to me?
  • KANG: Have we not been conversing this entire time?
  • Warp sound RAMA-TUT: Don’t listen to me, I can get a little long-winded sometimes.
  • DOC: What the hell?
  • RAMA-TUT: I am Rama-Tut. The me you were in there with is an older version of me, long after I took over ancient Egypt.
  • DOC: How many of you are there?
  • RAMA-TUT: There are as many variants of me as there are grains of sand in the desert.
  • DOC: That’s… unsettling. But why did you take me out of the session?
  • RAMA-TUT: The machinations of Rama-Tut are far beyond your ken. You need only know this: for the universe to avoid never ending calamity, not only must you survive, but you must kill Kang.
  • DOC: Dude, if you know ANYTHING about me, you’d know I am not going to kill anyone.
  • RAMA-TUT: All mortals have limits, and in order to preserve all of existence, you must push beyond yours. This has been foreseen, and not only by me, but by all Kangs. Why do you think he allowed himself to be captured and brought to you?
  • DOC: But why me? Literally anyone else could do a better job at that than me.
  • RAMA-TUT: If I divulge that information to you, it would create dangerous ripples throughout the timestream. You must simply trust what I tell you.
  • DOC: Not gonna happen.
  • RAMA-TUT: Nevertheless, I will return you to your session, slightly earlier than before. Take this, it is a chronosword. You must use it to strike down Kang. It will be shielded from him until you are ready to use it.
  • DOC: No, no, no warp sound for the last time-
  • KANG: A rather foreboding introduction, Doctor. You speak as though we have met before.
  • DOC: Uh, what I meant to say was-
  • KANG: I have no doubt that my… variants have attempted to persuade you to kill me, have they not?
  • DOC: I’m not exactly sure how client confidentiality works in this type of situation, but I’m gonna go ahead and just say I can’t tell you what I spoke to anyyou else about.
  • KANG: It matters not. I have foreseen this all. The entire series of events that led me, you, us to this moment. I have orchestrated what to your mind would be an incomprehensible amount of coincidences, all building up to my single greatest triumph yet.
  • DOC: Not to be entirely self-deprecating, but if your greatest triumph involves me, somehow I think we need to reestablish your definitions of “great” and “triumph”.
  • KANG: So simple, and yet you have no idea your function as a keystone in the story still to be told. The annals of history are drowning in-
  • DOC: Drowning in- Gaaaah
  • KANG: You primitive dare interrupt Kang! You inadvertently prove my point about-
  • IMMORTUS: warp sound The irony of him daring call anyone primitive.
  • DOC: OK, you all have GOT to stop cutting me in & out. And which one are you?
  • IMMORTUS: I am IMMORTUS. And we haven’t much time.
  • DOC: Now THAT’S ironic.

  + IMMORTUS: No, truly, the Time Keepers are hunting me down. I must inform you quickly. You are in grave danger. +

  + DOC: Yeah, I got that already. You’re the fourth… you to pull me out of the session already. +

  + IMMORTUS: Fourth? counts to self that means there’s still time then. +

  + DOC: Again, we have nothing BUT time. +

  + IMMORTUS: Not true at all. Listen to me, as soon as we return, you MUST kill Kang. +

  + DOC: Like I told the other guy, that’s not gonna happen. +

  + IMMORTUS: You don’t understand. You must do it before you are pulled from the timestream again. If you don’t, the consequences to all of existence will be dire. +

  + DOC: Yeah, I know, Kang will destroy the entire universe. +

  + IMMORTUS: No, Doctor Issues. YOU will. +

  + DOC: Wait, what?!?! +

  + IMMORTUS: It would take far too much to explain, just know that… beep they’re on to me. I must send you back now. +

  + DOC: No, wait, come here and warp sound talk to me! +

  + KANG: Have we not been conversing this entire time? +

  + DOC: I… +

  + KANG: Which one was it? The whiny child? Or the one who is so certain of his immortality he named himself after it? +

  + DOC: Again, to avoid any problems with confidentiality, I can’t divulge conversations with other clients, even if they’re kinda sorta you. I mean, I know there have been some shenanigans here, but I don’t want to keep repeating things, otherwise I might as well just be talking to myself… +

  + KANG: You have no idea how right you are, my lad… +

  + DOC: What does that mean? +

  + KANG: He hasn’t told you? +

  + DOC: Who hasn’t told me what? +

  + KANG: Fascinating. Then there’s still time for me. Allow me to disengage these restraints- +

  + DOC: Hold on, those are state of the art, I worked with the designer personally to ensure- +

  + KANG: Yes, but as you well know Doctor, you can’t defend against yourself. +

  + DOC: Huh? +

  + KANG: And now, my boy, it is time for you to DIE! +

  + NATHANIEL RICHARDS: Warp sound It’s not supposed to happen like this. +

  + DOC: Lemme guess, you’re the “he” who’s supposed to reveal some big secret that’s going to change everything. +

  + NATHANIEL: I am Nathaniel Richards. Father of Kang, Immortus, Rama-Tut, Iron Lad, and all Kangs across the multiverse. And I’m not just any “he”, Doctor Issues. Or should I say… grandfather. +

  + DOC: flat what +

  + NATHANIEL: The timestreams have been merged and diverted so often things are broken. My own memory of how this came to be betrays me. But I know this: you are my grandfather, which makes you- +

  + DOC: Ancestor of Kang. +

  + NATHANIEL: Indeed. I had hoped to get this information to you sooner, but I was attacked by- +

  + DOC: At this point, does it really matter? My entire life, my entire identity, has been thrown into question. And I don’t care how much you look or sound like me, I need this information straight from the source. +

  + NATHANIEL: What? +

  + DOC: I have to go back to Kang. I need to speak to him directly. +

  + NATHANIEL: I cannot send you back to where I took you from, or you will die, and it will cause a cataclysmic chain reaction that will obliterate the very fabric of reality! +

  + DOC: Then send me back to the moment when he decides I need to die. +

  + NATHANIEL: I don’t understand. +

  + DOC: Look, when I get so much hearsay, I have to strip away all opinion. If Kang wants me dead, I don’t need anyone else’s interpretation. Whatever he does in that moment is the only thing that can resolve this. I am his provider, and it is my duty. If you are truly of my heritage, you’ll understand this, and have some faith. +

  + NATHANIEL: I admit I do not understand. But I do have faith. Just know that if this goes wrong, I cannot help you any further. +

  + DOC: I know. +

  + NATHANIEL: Then best of luck to you, grandfather. warp sound +

  + DOC: Hello Kang, I’m… Doctor Issues. For the last time… +

  + KANG: A rather foreboding introduction, Doctor. You speak as though we have met before. +

  + DOC: Tell me why. +

  + KANG: That’s… no… +

  + DOC: I may not understand, but I’m ready. +

  + KANG: No no no NO NO DAMN YOU NATHANIEL. +

  + DOC: Don’t blame him, this right now is about why you feel the way you do about me. +

  + KANG: For someone who claims to have an advanced education, your understanding of things is below rudimentary. You are responsible for the creation of these other… inferior variants. Ergo, I eliminate you, and they are gone. +

  + DOC: As are you. +

  + KANG: The threat of vanishing from existence has not stopped me before, and it won’t now. Not when I’m so close to having all that I need. Besides, if there’s no risk, there’s no reward. +

  + DOC: Then why do you tell me every time? You are holding something back. From yourself. I can help you confront it. Maybe no one has to die. +

  + KANG: You are willing to gamble the fate of the entirety of existence on your ability to speak? We truly are related, ancestor, and I admire your boldness. +

  + DOC: Only you would know this. Take us to the moment where we can have the greatest influence. +

  + KANG: Very well. Prepare yourself, Doctor. This will be a showdown for the ages. warp sound +

  + KANG 1: backgroundFascinating. Then there’s still time for me. Allow me to disengage these restraints- +

  + DOC 1: Hold on, those are state of the art, I worked with the designer personally to ensure- +

  + KANG 1: Yes, but as you well know Doctor, you can’t defend against yourself.end background +

  + KANG 2: Here we are. +

  + DOC 2: And here you come. To think, he gets all the glory. What does that make you? +

  + KANG 2: You clever… Now I know where I get it from. to Kang 1 You’re absolutely right! +

  + DOC 1: Huh? realizes there’s another version of him & Kang in the room WHAT IS HAPPENING +

  + KANG 2: And now, my boy, it is time for YOU to DIE! +

  + KANG 1: No, this cannot be! +

  + DOC 1: Why are there two mes? +

  + DOC 2: Long story short, it’s all a big timey-wimey ball. +

  + DOC 1: How did we end up allying with HIM?!?! +

  + DOC 2: Don’t worry about that. Just do me a favor, and keep an eye on who our daughter marries in the future. +

  + DOC 1: What? +

  + DOC 2: Looks like my Kang has your Kang cornered… +

  + DOC 1: But he’s our… my… patient. I can’t let him just do this. +

  + DOC 2: If you knew what I know- +

  + DOC 1: But I don’t, and I took an oath. If you’re not going to protect a person that you’re responsible for, then I will. +

  + DOC 2: Wait! +

  + KANG 2: If I were a primitive I might feel shame about ending the life of someone who looks like me. But at this point… +

  + KANG 1: Spoken like a true primitive. Alas, you will be the one to fall. +

  + DOC 1: Noooo…. +

  + KANG 1 & KANG 2: blasts +

  + DOC 1: AAAAAAHHHH +

  + KANG 1: dying Why? +

  + KANG 2: dying You simpleton… you have shattered the timestream… +

  + DOC 1: dying I… I took an oath… +

  + DOC 2: And the first part is do no harm… +

  + DOC 1: Nok… dies + *

• Ending + Mention timescrew as we come out of the skit

  + Recommended reading: Kang Dynasty +

  + Next episodes: Animal sidekicks, Claire Voyant, Penguin +

  + Plugs for social + *

References:

• Lisa Simpson - Anthony

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Just before Quantumania releases, we travel through time with KANG THE CONQUEROR! This temporally unstable episode is our most ambitious yet - don't miss it!

Issue 168 - Kang the Conqueror

• Intro
  • Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania coming out Feb. 17 - Anthony & Doc will do a review mini-episode after the film drops

• Background

  • Kang the Conqueror, Nathaniel Richards, created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby
  • Due to Kang’s time-traveling abilities, his backstory, and even creation, are difficult to pin down
  • Rama-Tut - first appeared in Fantastic Four #19 (Oct. 1963) - a time-traveling criminal from the year 3000 who went back to ancient Egypt
  • In Sept. 1964, in Avengers #8, Rama-Tut reveals he traveled to the year 4000 and is called Kang the Conqueror
  • Two months later (Nov. 1964), Immortus debuts in Avengers #10, and was later retroactively revealed as another variant of Kang
  • Another variant appears a few years later - the Scarlet Centurion (Avengers Annual #2 - Sept. 1968)
  • A heroic version was introduced in Young Avengers #1 (Feb. 2005) - Iron Lad
  • Later revealed that Kang is actually Nathaniel Richards, a descendant of Reed Richards’ father
  • Reed’s father traveled forward to the 31st century and brought peace to a war-ravaged Earth - it was here he had a child, named Nathaniel
  • Nathaniel grew up bored of the simple peace he lived, and when he was 16, he stole a time machine, traveled back to Egypt, and became Rama-Tut
  • He then traveled to the “present”, where he met Dr. Doom and became inspired by him
  • Attempting to travel to his home timeline, he passed it by a thousand years, and upon learning that he can easily take over the war-torn planet, decides to go back to when Earth was fruitful so he can make it more worthwhile
  • Often shows up as a foe of the Avengers, but sometimes he battles the Fantastic Four
  • Major storylines:
    • Celestial Madonna - searching for a woman destined to carry a powerful child, he finds Mantis, but is thwarted by alternative versions of himself - here we learn that Immortus and Rama-Tut are also Kang, but after Kang overloads his armor, he destroys himself, deleting Immortus and Rama-Tut from existence as well
    • Council of Kangs - Three variants create a triumvirate to eliminate all other versions, but Ravonna (Kang’s lover) tricks one of them into death before Immortus is destroyed by Prime Kang, the only one who remains
    • Avengers Forever - Kang rejects Immortus, and allies with the Avengers to prevent Immortus from allying with the Time Keepers - this involves keeping Rick Jones alive and Avengers from other timelines
    • Kang Dynasty - Kang, along with his son Marcus (operating as Scarlet Centurion), takes over the Earth in order to save it from a horrific future - although he initially conquers the world, he is defeated by the Avengers, with help from a traitorous clone of Marcus, who is infatuated with Carol Danvers (not unlike another version of Marcus)
    • Responsible for the creation of the Young Avengers - 16 year old Nate Richards is rescued by Kang and shown his future growth into the despot, but this horrifies young Nate, and he uses the time-travel technology and transports himself to the past, where he arrives as the Avengers have been disassembled - he downloads the Vision’s operating system into his armor, and this amalgamation (Iron Lad) assembles a new team of younger heroes to prevent Kang from rising up in the first place

• Issues

  • Hedonic adaptation and the Diderot Effect
  • Narcissism
  • Technophilia
• Treatment theme: Anything, but not everything
  • In-universe -
  • Out of universe -

• Skit

  • KANG: And now, my boy, it is time for you to DIE!
  • DOC: Wait, it’s not supposed to happen like this!
  • • warp sound* IRON LAD: Doctor Issues, I presume?
  • DOC: What the - who the - what the -
  • IRON LAD: I understand, the whole time manipulation thing can be overwhelming.
  • DOC: But you were just trying to kill me!
  • IRON LAD: Oh no, sorry, that’s a different me.
  • DOC: Excuse me?
  • IRON LAD: You can call me Iron Lad. Or Nate.
  • DOC: So you’re NOT trying to kill me?
  • IRON LAD: Nope, definitely not. I had to warp you out of there, because if you died, it throws the entire timeline outta whack.
  • DOC: But you look just like the guy I was in there…
  • IRON LAD: Yeah, he’s me from the future, but he showed me what it looked like, and I want absolutely nothing to do with that. So I went back to the past, which is your present, to stop myself from becoming him in the future. But the Avengers were gone, so I found the Vision’s brain and downloaded it into my armor, and now here I am.
  • DOC: I’m so confused…
  • IRON LAD: I don’t blame you. Sometimes I have to remind myself of who I am now, not who I was or who I might be.
  • DOC: So what happens now?
  • IRON LAD: I’m going to put you back in your office, just a liiiiitle bit earlier in the timestream, so you don’t make the mistakes that lead up to whatever it was that made Kang want to kill you.
  • DOC: That’s just it, I don’t even remember what it was. He just got up out of the chair and pointed a weapon at me.
  • IRON LAD: Sadly, that’s just how he is. He gets this idea in his head, and no matter what anyone says or does, he will do it come hell or high water. Sometimes I think I do it because I don’t want anyone else dictating my destiny.
  • DOC: Are we talking about him or you?
  • IRON LAD: Uhh… ok, time to send you back now, good luck!
  • DOC: Oh no, don’t warp me like this, it feels like I’m warp sound drowning in-
  • KANG: - the annals of history are simultaneously drowning in-
  • DOC: Gaaaaah!
  • KANG: You primitive dare interrupt Kang! You inadvertently prove my point about the vast majority of individuals who are mindless filler for the planet. Important resources wasted on people who can never comprehend how trivial their existence is to the grand scheme of time and history. That is one of my goals, to separate those who are worthy to share in the existence I plan on ushering forth from these… carbon-based cretins. And so far, you have done nothing to dissuade me from counting you in the latter group.
  • DOC: Sorry, it’s just… I wasn’t feeling like myself. As to your point, philosophers have discussed the value of human existence for millenia.
  • KANG: Those simpering academics? Bah. Very few are capable of acknowledging the meaningless of their lives, and ironically it is those who are best equipped to assist me in my plans.
  • DOC: So… you’re looking for nihilists?
  • KANG: Only in nihilism can you find the ultimate freedom.
  • DOC: I don’t understand. You keep speaking in circles, can you please be direct and just - talk to me?
  • KANG: Have we not been conversing this entire time?
  • Warp sound RAMA-TUT: Don’t listen to me, I can get a little long-winded sometimes.
  • DOC: What the hell?
  • RAMA-TUT: I am Rama-Tut. The me you were in there with is an older version of me, long after I took over ancient Egypt.
  • DOC: How many of you are there?
  • RAMA-TUT: There are as many variants of me as there are grains of sand in the desert.
  • DOC: That’s… unsettling. But why did you take me out of the session?
  • RAMA-TUT: The machinations of Rama-Tut are far beyond your ken. You need only know this: for the universe to avoid never ending calamity, not only must you survive, but you must kill Kang.
  • DOC: Dude, if you know ANYTHING about me, you’d know I am not going to kill anyone.
  • RAMA-TUT: All mortals have limits, and in order to preserve all of existence, you must push beyond yours. This has been foreseen, and not only by me, but by all Kangs. Why do you think he allowed himself to be captured and brought to you?
  • DOC: But why me? Literally anyone else could do a better job at that than me.
  • RAMA-TUT: If I divulge that information to you, it would create dangerous ripples throughout the timestream. You must simply trust what I tell you.
  • DOC: Not gonna happen.
  • RAMA-TUT: Nevertheless, I will return you to your session, slightly earlier than before. Take this, it is a chronosword. You must use it to strike down Kang. It will be shielded from him until you are ready to use it.
  • DOC: No, no, no warp sound for the last time-
  • KANG: A rather foreboding introduction, Doctor. You speak as though we have met before.
  • DOC: Uh, what I meant to say was-
  • KANG: I have no doubt that my… variants have attempted to persuade you to kill me, have they not?
  • DOC: I’m not exactly sure how client confidentiality works in this type of situation, but I’m gonna go ahead and just say I can’t tell you what I spoke to anyyou else about.
  • KANG: It matters not. I have foreseen this all. The entire series of events that led me, you, us to this moment. I have orchestrated what to your mind would be an incomprehensible amount of coincidences, all building up to my single greatest triumph yet.
  • DOC: Not to be entirely self-deprecating, but if your greatest triumph involves me, somehow I think we need to reestablish your definitions of “great” and “triumph”.
  • KANG: So simple, and yet you have no idea your function as a keystone in the story still to be told. The annals of history are drowning in-
  • DOC: Drowning in- Gaaaah
  • KANG: You primitive dare interrupt Kang! You inadvertently prove my point about-
  • IMMORTUS: warp sound The irony of him daring call anyone primitive.
  • DOC: OK, you all have GOT to stop cutting me in & out. And which one are you?
  • IMMORTUS: I am IMMORTUS. And we haven’t much time.
  • DOC: Now THAT’S ironic.
  • IMMORTUS: No, truly, the Time Keepers are hunting me down. I must inform you quickly. You are in grave danger.
  • DOC: Yeah, I got that already. You’re the fourth… you to pull me out of the session already.
  • IMMORTUS: Fourth? counts to self that means there’s still time then.
  • DOC: Again, we have nothing BUT time.

  + IMMORTUS: Not true at all. Listen to me, as soon as we return, you MUST kill Kang. +

  + DOC: Like I told the other guy, that’s not gonna happen. +

  + IMMORTUS: You don’t understand. You must do it before you are pulled from the timestream again. If you don’t, the consequences to all of existence will be dire. +

  + DOC: Yeah, I know, Kang will destroy the entire universe. +

  + IMMORTUS: No, Doctor Issues. YOU will. +

  + DOC: Wait, what?!?! +

  + IMMORTUS: It would take far too much to explain, just know that… beep they’re on to me. I must send you back now. +

  + DOC: No, wait, come here and warp sound talk to me! +

  + KANG: Have we not been conversing this entire time? +

  + DOC: I… +

  + KANG: Which one was it? The whiny child? Or the one who is so certain of his immortality he named himself after it? +

  + DOC: Again, to avoid any problems with confidentiality, I can’t divulge conversations with other clients, even if they’re kinda sorta you. I mean, I know there have been some shenanigans here, but I don’t want to keep repeating things, otherwise I might as well just be talking to myself… +

  + KANG: You have no idea how right you are, my lad… +

  + DOC: What does that mean? +

  + KANG: He hasn’t told you? +

  + DOC: Who hasn’t told me what? +

  + KANG: Fascinating. Then there’s still time for me. Allow me to disengage these restraints- +

  + DOC: Hold on, those are state of the art, I worked with the designer personally to ensure- +

  + KANG: Yes, but as you well know Doctor, you can’t defend against yourself. +

  + DOC: Huh? +

  + KANG: And now, my boy, it is time for you to DIE! +

  + NATHANIEL RICHARDS: Warp sound It’s not supposed to happen like this. +

  + DOC: Lemme guess, you’re the “he” who’s supposed to reveal some big secret that’s going to change everything. +

  + NATHANIEL: I am Nathaniel Richards. Father of Kang, Immortus, Rama-Tut, Iron Lad, and all Kangs across the multiverse. And I’m not just any “he”, Doctor Issues. Or should I say… grandfather. +

  + DOC: flat what +

  + NATHANIEL: The timestreams have been merged and diverted so often things are broken. My own memory of how this came to be betrays me. But I know this: you are my grandfather, which makes you- +

  + DOC: Ancestor of Kang. +

  + NATHANIEL: Indeed. I had hoped to get this information to you sooner, but I was attacked by- +

  + DOC: At this point, does it really matter? My entire life, my entire identity, has been thrown into question. And I don’t care how much you look or sound like me, I need this information straight from the source. +

  + NATHANIEL: What? +

  + DOC: I have to go back to Kang. I need to speak to him directly. +

  + NATHANIEL: I cannot send you back to where I took you from, or you will die, and it will cause a cataclysmic chain reaction that will obliterate the very fabric of reality! +

  + DOC: Then send me back to the moment when he decides I need to die. +

  + NATHANIEL: I don’t understand. +

  + DOC: Look, when I get so much hearsay, I have to strip away all opinion. If Kang wants me dead, I don’t need anyone else’s interpretation. Whatever he does in that moment is the only thing that can resolve this. I am his provider, and it is my duty. If you are truly of my heritage, you’ll understand this, and have some faith. +

  + NATHANIEL: I admit I do not understand. But I do have faith. Just know that if this goes wrong, I cannot help you any further. +

  + DOC: I know. +

  + NATHANIEL: Then best of luck to you, grandfather. warp sound +

  + DOC: Hello Kang, I’m… Doctor Issues. For the last time… +

  + KANG: A rather foreboding introduction, Doctor. You speak as though we have met before. +

  + DOC: Tell me why. +

  + KANG: That’s… no… +

  + DOC: I may not understand, but I’m ready. +

  + KANG: No no no NO NO DAMN YOU NATHANIEL. +

  + DOC: Don’t blame him, this right now is about why you feel the way you do about me. +

  + KANG: For someone who claims to have an advanced education, your understanding of things is below rudimentary. You are responsible for the creation of these other… inferior variants. Ergo, I eliminate you, and they are gone. +

  + DOC: As are you. +

  + KANG: The threat of vanishing from existence has not stopped me before, and it won’t now. Not when I’m so close to having all that I need. Besides, if there’s no risk, there’s no reward. +

  + DOC: Then why do you tell me every time? You are holding something back. From yourself. I can help you confront it. Maybe no one has to die. +

  + KANG: You are willing to gamble the fate of the entirety of existence on your ability to speak? We truly are related, ancestor, and I admire your boldness. +

  + DOC: Only you would know this. Take us to the moment where we can have the greatest influence. +

  + KANG: Very well. Prepare yourself, Doctor. This will be a showdown for the ages. warp sound +

  + KANG 1: backgroundFascinating. Then there’s still time for me. Allow me to disengage these restraints- +

  + DOC 1: Hold on, those are state of the art, I worked with the designer personally to ensure- +

  + KANG 1: Yes, but as you well know Doctor, you can’t defend against yourself.end background +

  + KANG 2: Here we are. +

  + DOC 2: And here you come. To think, he gets all the glory. What does that make you? +

  + KANG 2: You clever… Now I know where I get it from. to Kang 1 You’re absolutely right! +

  + DOC 1: Huh? realizes there’s another version of him & Kang in the room WHAT IS HAPPENING +

  + KANG 2: And now, my boy, it is time for YOU to DIE! +

  + KANG 1: No, this cannot be! +

  + DOC 1: Why are there two mes? +

  + DOC 2: Long story short, it’s all a big timey-wimey ball. +

  + DOC 1: How did we end up allying with HIM?!?! +

  + DOC 2: Don’t worry about that. Just do me a favor, and keep an eye on who our daughter marries in the future. +

  + DOC 1: What? +

  + DOC 2: Looks like my Kang has your Kang cornered… +

  + DOC 1: But he’s our… my… patient. I can’t let him just do this. +

  + DOC 2: If you knew what I know- +

  + DOC 1: But I don’t, and I took an oath. If you’re not going to protect a person that you’re responsible for, then I will. +

  + DOC 2: Wait! +

  + KANG 2: If I were a primitive I might feel shame about ending the life of someone who looks like me. But at this point… +

  + KANG 1: Spoken like a true primitive. Alas, you will be the one to fall. +

  + DOC 1: Noooo…. +

  + KANG 1 & KANG 2: blasts +

  + DOC 1: AAAAAAHHHH +

  + KANG 1: dying Why? +

  + KANG 2: dying You simpleton… you have shattered the timestream… +

  + DOC 1: dying I… I took an oath… +

  + DOC 2: And the first part is do no harm… +

  + DOC 1: Nok… dies + *

• Ending + Mention timescrew as we come out of the skit

  + Recommended reading: Kang Dynasty +

  + Next episodes: Animal sidekicks, Claire Voyant, Penguin +

  + Plugs for social + *

References:

• Lisa Simpson - Anthony

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We bring on Ted Anderson, writer of Side Effects, to talk about his OGN that combines mental health and superpowers in a very unique way - don't miss it!

• Intro

• Background

  • How long have you been plotting the story in your head? (10:10)

• Side Effects

  • Impetus for writing the story
  • Hannah - relatable college kid drowning in everything
    • Reluctant hero syndrome with the powers
    • Are the powers real or imagined - the book plays with it
  • Dr. Jacobs - put upon mental health professional (37:15)
    • Changing medication frequently - how accurate is that? (20:15)
  • Ella - solid supportive character (44:40)
    • Friendlier than almost any roommate I had in college
  • Iz - Got her own baggage (49:50)
    • Her manic episode towards the end reminded me of Nadia’s in Unstoppable Wasp - Jeremy Whitley gave quote on back
  • Situations in school - what was source of the obstacles? (56:00)
  • Tara & Dave - how did you hook up with them? (60:10)
  • Next stories? (65:05)
• Ending
  • Next episodes: Kang the Conqueror, Animal sidekicks, Claire Voyant
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me by Ellen Forney - Ted (8:40)
• Barking by Lucy Sullivan - Ted (9:00)

Ted's Twitter

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Allen & Will join the Five-Timers Club as we bring them back to talk Pocus Hocus 5! We also discuss Grandma Chainsaw, Monty Python, and more!

Creators on the Couch - Pocus Hocus 5

• Intro

• Background

• Chapter 2, Book 1

  • When last we left our… heroes? Protagonists? Characters (5:14)
  • How many books is chapter 2? (9:22)
  • How many chapters is the story? (9:32)
  • Grandma Chainsaw discussion (28:45)
  • Kickstarter rewards (39:32)
• Ending (43:13)
  • Kickstarter
  • Substack newsletter
  • Next episodes: Ted Anderson interview, Kang, Animal sidekicks
  • Plugs for social

References:

• First four appearances
  • First
  • Second
  • Third
  • Fourth - Anthony (2:20)
• XKCD Monty Python - Anthony (26:40)
• TV Tropes - Gainax Ending - Anthony (27:37)

GonnaGeek Network

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We wrap up Lantern Month with a case study in PTSD, Jessica Cruz! Lock yourself in your apartment and listen now!

Issue 167 - Jessica Cruz

• Intro
• • Thanks to everyone who joined us for the watch party
• Background (1:56)
• • Jessica Cruz created by Geoff Johns, Ivan Reis, Doug Mahnke, and Ethan Van Sciver in Justice League #30 (July 2014)
  • Jessica was on a camping trip with her friends when they witnessed mobsters burying a body - the mobsters killed her friends to prevent witnesses, but Jessica escaped
  • When she returned, she suffered from anxiety attacks and agoraphobia, and locked herself in her apartment for four years
  • When the Crime Syndicate of Earth-3 came to the planet and Power Ring was killed, his ring found Jessica and bonded to her because of her fear - the ring took over and led to her attacking the Justice League & Doom Patrol
  • With the help of Batman & Hal Jordan, she learned to use the ring and control it, instead of letting it control her
  • During the Darkseid War, his daughter Grail summoned the Black Racer to kill the Flash, she managed to overtake the ring’s control long enough to jump in front and attack the Black Racer - it killed the entity in the ring, and left Jessica presumably dead, until a Green Lantern ring approached her and turned her into the newest Earth Lantern
  • Hal partners her with Simon Baz, the other new Earth Lantern, and right after they start working together, they have to take on Atrocitus and the Red Lantern Corps, who are constructing a Hell Tower on Earth - they destroy the tower, but the Rage Seed was still implanted in the Earth
  • She joins the Justice League, and helps them take on Doctor Manhattan (unsuccessfully)
  • Gets stranded on an outpost alone in space for a year, and managed to fight off Sinestro Corps members when they came to the station in search of supplies - she earns a yellow ring after this, and joins the Sinestro Corps as the Lantern of 2814

• Issues - Theme is “You got this… but what if you don’t?” (6:48)

• • PTSD - Agoraphobia
  • PTSD - Anxiety (13:05)
  • PTSD - Imposter syndrome (20:41)
• Break (31:31)
• • Plugs for SNEScapades, Last Sons of Krypton, and Jeremy Whitley
• Treatment (33:25)
• • In-universe & out of universe are the same -
• Skit (feat. Lauren from Legends of SHIELD) (39:02)
• • DOC: Hello Jessica, I’m Dr. Issues
  • JESS: deep breath & exhale Hello Doctor
  • DOC: What can I do for you?
  • JESS: Well to be honest I’m a little creeped out
  • DOC: Why is that?
  • JESS: This isn’t what I expected. Your office is… unique
  • DOC: I have to admit I’ve made some recent changes. I have to keep up with the latest breakthroughs in therapy.
  • JESS: It looks like you may have gone backwards instead.
  • DOC: What do you mean?
  • JESS: Well, first of all I thought there would be a couch. Why is there a beanbag? And what is that lavender smell?
  • DOC: I have come to realize that the environment is very important for patients to get better. That beanbag is warm and comforting and lavender is known to be very soothing. But I didn’t stop there. I’m sure you’ve noticed that tall lamp as well.
  • JESS: Yeah, I think that’s something that I should really talk to you about. It looks like something I’ve been… Researching.
  • DOC: it’s part of my new concierge model. I want to be able to dedicate myself to my patients more and in a fashion that will allow for the best results while not stressing me out. But I apologize, I just realize I haven’t really focused on why you want my help in the first place.
  • JESS: ‘Cause I’ve been through some bad stuff, that’s why. And there are some serious times I feel like I can’t do this at all.
  • DOC: Well I can’t blame you for feeling that way. That’s pretty common. What does that do to you emotionally?
  • JESS: It makes me wanna jump out of my skin sometimes. I become a nervous wreck.
  • DOC: Anxiety. Got it. But I notice with what you have, clearly you have been managing very well for yourself.
  • JESS: What, the ring? That’s part of the problem. Everybody thinks I have it all put together. Scoffs It makes me feel like an impostor.
  • DOC: What's that saying, “dress for the job you want?”
  • JESS: You’re one to talk. Sarcasm You don’t really dress like a DOCTOR
  • DOC: You know, I used to dress up in a full suit, but then I became more comfortable with who I am so I dress the way I want.
  • JESS: Is that why you went with this color scheme for the office? To match your personal preference?
  • DOC: If you must know, I actually picked this as a compromise. My favorite color is blue, and my daughter enjoys purple, so somewhere in between seems fitting. pause Why are you so fascinated with the random intricacies of my decor? I’m supposed to get to know your situation, not the other way around.
  • JESS: sigh Is it really that obvious?
  • DOC: You have been fidgeting for quite a while, you constantly look over your shoulder, and so far all you’ve done is critique me to the point that if I weren’t so chill about all of this I’d be insulted.
  • JESS: Like I said I’ve been through a lot in my life. It pays to be safe.
  • DOC: I don’t expect you to go into details, but if you could at least identify what type of trauma you’ve had it would be helpful.
  • JESS: My face, rather my EYE, gives it away. You’re not stupid.
  • DOC: That definitely looks like a source of pain and I’m sorry. But there’s more to it than that. You seem distracted. Is there anything else?
  • JESS: You’re definitely perceptive, I'll give you that. grunts I can’t do this, ok? angry I CAN’T DO THIS
  • DOC: Whoa! I didn’t mean to get you that upset
  • JESS: Well you did… Not you really…but…what you’re doing
  • DOC: I’m doing my job
  • JESS: No you’re doing someone else’s job, and that’s what I’m trying to figure out…this could have been simple…changes to authoritative tone this is official green lantern corp business. This office has been on our radar for months. We know who comes in and out of here but lately, something has changed. sound effect for powering up Please provide us with the appropriate information, or I may have to use force.
  • DOC: Well at least you’re nicer than the joint commission. sighOK here goes. I’ve made a deal with a private equity firm… Of sorts. It’s not a complete buyout so I still have significant control. Heck, they didn’t even want money. They just wanted my office to be able to accommodate certain situations, along with my professional expertise.
  • JESS: Is that how you brainwashed Guy Gardner into thinking you’re the best psychiatrist ever?
  • DOC: What? No, I
  • JESS: * interrupting* and is that how you survived ATROCITUS without being obliterated?
  • DOC: He just left on his own! I thought I was going to die!
  • JESS: phone rings This call is important. Don’t…move…
  • DOC: surprisingly calm wouldn’t dream of it
  • JESS: Hello…what? That was never supposed to happen in our lifetime…I’m not… you can’t …someone else …ANYBODY else…you’re asking for failure! No! * hangs up We have to leave now! panicked* NOW!
  • DOC: * phone rings* apparently it’s my turn
  • JESS: I don’t care…it’s not that important
  • DOC: You don’t know that answers hello this is Dr. Issues… I didn’t realize it was you. Yes I do think that’s relevant to what’s going on right now. I guess it fits in with being audited. Okay I’ll put in the orders
  • JESS: We don't have time for this, we have to leave. There’s a creature that can destroy us all coming here right now and he is not about making friends. It’s another lantern… The only orange one!
  • DOC: interrupting Nope actually we have to stay. More importantly, when I tell you, you have to open that door.
  • JESS: The closet? You’re gonna have us hide in the closet? This is ridiculous.
  • DOC: We’re not going in. He is.
  • JESS: You’re not trapping the greediest being in the universe in the closet!
  • DOC: * deep sigh* Please understand that I am terrified right now and the only reason I’m keeping calm is that this is what happens to me when I know there are things that must be done. So for the sake of your life, mine, and everyone that we care about, just open the door when I say so. I’m begging you.
  • JESS: And when this doesn’t work…?
  • DOC: Then I know I will have done everything I could and I know a hero such as yourself will fight to her last breath… But I hope it doesn’t come to that.
  • JESS: Every day is a fight. Every moment. The choice to get out of bed. To eat. To smile. Everyone takes that for granted. And you really think I could fight that… whatever it is when it gets here?
  • DOC: Thank you for fighting, and winning all of those so far. So much anxiety is about “what if,“ and you have to keep proving yourself. The good news is there will come a day where you don’t have to ask that question anymore. Maybe today’s the day.
  • chant of MINE IS MINE AND MINE AND MINE AND MINE AND MINE AND MINE
  • DOC: NOW!
  • scream of NOOOOOOOT YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUURS
  • door opens then slams shut
  • JESS: What was in-
  • DOC: answers phone again Yes I was already putting them in… I think the HalJordanol should work if it’s administered as an inhalant. I’ll admit I don’t know what the normal vital signs should be… Not aware of any next of kin listed. Estimated length of stay 5 to 7 days or epochs, whatever term is appropriate. hangs up
  • JESS: What did you do?
  • DOC: It will all make sense if you open the door again.
  • JESS: Are you insane? We can’t let him- stops abruptly He’s not in there, is he?
  • DOC: See for yourself
  • JESS: opens door It’s empty… And it looks like a hospital room?
  • DOC: Crisis area. I’m not a contractor but I’m guessing there is some inter-dimensional stuff at play.
  • JESS: Then where is he now?
  • DOC: To be honest I don’t know how to describe it, but if a hospital is the best analog, let’s just say he’s being held for observation with a plan to return to his residence.
  • JESS: There is no way the Guardians authorized this
  • DOC: I’m no expert in those types of discussions. All I know is, I have someone who can give a proper report of a system like this working for the first time.
  • JESS: You’ll need some official documentation
  • DOC: Right now the best I can do is my card
  • JESS: I can’t read it… It’s like it’s in some sort of alien language.
  • DOC: Yeah I actually can’t read it either but for some reason I can understand it. They messed up my name though. It says “Dr. Ishigo.” They also said that this is only for Lantern situations.
  • JESS: I don’t think that’s a mistake.
  • DOC: Nok.
• Ending (50:13)
• • Recommended reading: Green Lanterns
  • Next episodes: Ted Anderson interview, Animal sidekicks, Kang the Conqueror
  • Plugs for social

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THIS EPISODE SEETHES WITH RAGE AS WE DISCUSS ATROCITUS! FEEL THE ANGER THROUGH YOUR SPEAKERS AND INTO YOUR HEART

• Intro
  • Green Lantern watch party THIS SATURDAY NIGHT 8:30 PM Eastern

• Background (2:35)

  • Atrocitus created by Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver in Green Lantern #25 (Dec 2007)
  • The Manhunters were created by the Guardians of the Universe to protect the universe, but they went rogue and obliterated all life in Sector 666 - Atros was one of only five survivors in the entire sector
  • He renamed himself Atrocitus, and he and the other four survivors called themselves the Five Inversions - they performed a ritual and discovered the prophecy of the Blackest Night, which foretold the destruction of the universe at the hands of the Guardians - after attempting to defeat the Guardians, he and the Inversions were imprisoned on Ysmault
  • Abin Sur traveled there and began questioning Atrocitus about the prophecy - he freed Atrocitus from his prison to help guide Abin to Earth, but Atrocitus broke free and attacked Abin, retconning why Abin Sur’s ship crashed to Earth
  • He then created a divining rod that led him to William Hand, aka Black Hand, but before he could kill Hand, Sinestro & Hal Jordan intervened - Hand escaped with the rod (also a retcon), and Atrocitus was returned to his prison on Ysmault
  • While in prison, his rage helped him create the red power battery, which he used to murder his fellow Inversions, creating rings and a central battery - he used these rings and batteries to create the Red Lantern Corps, who would assault Sinestro and anyone responsible for the destruction of Sector 666
  • During Blackest Night, the other corps leaders bring him to his home planet, and he has a moment of grief for the loss of his family - he temporarily allies with the other spectrum corps
  • Made a deal with Guy and Ganthet that once Krona was defeated, Atrocitus would take possession to enact justice - although Krona was killed, Ganthet gave Atrocitus the corpse to do what he wanted with it
  • Loses his ring to Guy Gardner, who joins the Red Lanterns as an undercover mole for Hal Jordan
  • DC Rebirth - creates a Hell Tower on Earth to plant the Rage Seed that will birth a new Rage Entity - the tower is destroyed by Simon Baz & Jessica Cruz, but Dex-Starr managed to deliver the seed before the tower was destroyed

• Issues - Theme is the pain & rage cycle (9:36)

  • Ruby - why would a psychologist go straight to rage?
  • Ruby - Rage in dealing with loss (16:04)
  • Really the only Red Lantern capable of thought - how does that affect his rage, and does it mean it’s capable of being tamed? (23:11)
• Break (29:53)
  • Plugs for Geek Peak, Bedknobs & Broomflicks, and Jordan Blum
• Treatment (31:11)
  • In-universe - Attempt hemodialysis on Atrocitus
  • Out of universe - Minus the powers, he’s a very angry man raging at the world because of his loss (33:15)
• Skit (39:19)
  • Hello Atros, I’m Dr - ATROCITUS AND YOU ARE NO DOCTOR
  • Gulp Hello Atrocitus, I’m Dr - I SAID YOU ARE NO DOCTOR TO ME. I do not recognize your title, only the title of MASTER OF RAGE HOLDS ANY MEANING TO THOSE WHO SUBSCRIBE TO the power it provides.
  • pause Um…I mean, I can’t lie, man. I’m here as an…um…professional…to -YOU ARE WASTING TIME, Doctor Issues.
  • Rapid I’m here to make sure you don’t destroy all of existence because you are so powerful and mad and I don’t want to offend you but I need to do my job so please just let me…Atrocitus…sir -I HATE WHINERS. WHINING is the provenance of those too incompetent to comprehend the veracity of the world and TOO WEAK TO COMPEL THE CHANGE REQUIRED to bring JUSTICE to those who would cause DESTRUCTION AND PAIN TO THE INNOCENT.
  • exasperated OH COME ON! I’m doing my best here. Just tell me why you’re so angry. -seething EEEEEEEVVVVVVVERRRRRYTHIIIIIIIING IS WRONG!
  • Okay, but - DO NOT QUESTION ME, Doctor Issues. I HAVE SEEN THINGS your mere mortal brain IS INCAPABLE OF MAKING SENSE OF
  • I want to make it right -YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO DO ANYTHING, Doctor Issues.
  • Ouch, dude. I’m not against you -THEN WHO SENT YOU?
  • The…um…if I tell you, you’ll be…cross…er…like, more than now…or something -YOU CONSPIRE WITH MY ENEMIES! I have seen this coming, once I allowed my brain to acknowledge the TRUCE BETWEEN MY DESTINY AND REALITY
  • You’re projecting, which can get you in troub -DO NOT USE PSYCHOLOGICAL JARGON ON ME, Doctor Issues.
  • But it’s proper…oh man, this is much harder than usual…look, the way you come across, I usually try to offer something to help calm down. Can I do that? -WHAT? THERE IS NO CALM HERE. If you create an alliance with those aligned against me, Doctor Issues, THEN YOUR BLOOD WILL STAIN THE COSMOS FOR ETERNITY! I WILL SEND YOUR CORPSE TO A FAR AWAY STAR SYSTEM, and when they come to search for you, Doctor Issues, I will ASSAULT THE SHIP, rip open the cockpit doors, and DESTROY THE PILOTS WHO MADE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE.
  • Some people…not necessarily you, but SOME OTHER people…might consider that a bit…paranoid? -I’M NOT PARANOID! I KNOW THAT OTHERS ARE AFTER ME BECAUSE I’VE GONE AFTER THEM FIRST.
  • That doesn’t sound healthy either. Your blood pressure must be through the roof. -MY DIASTOLIC GOES TO INFINITYYYYYYY
  • But that’s the lower numb…that’s not poss…you’re just…what? -DO NOT DOUBT THE POWER OF THE RED LANTERNS. WE HAVE FORSEEN THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR GALAXY AND IT TURNS CRIMSON WITH THE BLOOD OF YOUR DESCENDANTS. THERE IS NO ESCAPE FOR YOU THIS TIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEE
  • I…are you even listening to yourself? -MY EARS ARE OPEN AND MY EYES ARE NOT OF THIS WORLD. I hear the voices of THOSE WARRIORS who seek a connection with the ULTIMATE POWER.
  • Alright, I will stop you right there. You may kill me for this but you are NOT MAKING SENSE. -pause, surprising calm but still intense This world, and everything you know about it is not ready for the final meeting of powers you can’t understand. back to full intensity ONLY THE RED LANTERNS MAY BREATH THE AIR THAT SMELLS OF COMBAT, AND WASH AWAY THE DISGRACE OF THOSE THAT CAME BEFORE US.
  • That sounds nightmarish -NIGHTMARES ARE THE BEST PART OF MY DAY!
  • I…can’t match your intensity, so I won’t try. I have to admit, I feel lost in your presence. That’s not a good sign. I may have to seek a consult from someone else -THERE IS NO ONE ELSE TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR SALVATION. I WILL GIVE YOU THE DIVINE BLESSING OF THE BLOOD PROPHECY vomit sound
  • Ew…you puked on me?! Is this blood? YOU PUKED BLOOD ON ME? psychedelic/ambient music I…do you see it too? What is this? You’re…you’re a tortured soul. You’ve been through so much. I’m sorry. I wish you had known help is out there…it’s always there. -THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISINTEGRATED INTO THE MADNESS OF ATROCITUS. IF YOU HAVE SURVIVED…quieter then your journey is not at an end…your mind will travel, to parts unknown. My vision fades…THERE ARE OTHERS…YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM…BUT THEY ARE…OF YOU…surprisingly quiet and they make me…tame.
  • I’m understanding more now, but still confused, and you’re still here -NO, THIS IS NOT MY DOING. MY COMPLACENCY WILL ONLY LEAD TO THE DESTRUC OF MORE WORLDS IF I DO NOT GATHER MY ARMY, AND RECONSTITUTE MY RAGE. THIS OFFICE IS A CAGE, AND I WILL NOT LET YOUR WEAPON CONTINUE TO WEAKEN ME.
  • I don’t have any weapons! -YOUR HEART…IT BEATS WITH THE FORBIDDEN LIGHT. YOU SAY NOTHING…quiet, twinge of fear but your presence speaks evvvvverything.
  • Um…thanks? -YOU WILL NOT HOLD MEEEEEEEEE RUNNING, CRASH THROUGH DOOR
  • pause Seriously What the hell was that?!!! I should be dead five times over…and he looked like he was scared of me? I’ve had a calming effect before, but this is ridiculous! phone rings Hello? Yeah, sorry! I forgot about this call! Thank you so much, I just had the most unique patient…well, I can’t divulge who, but…how did you know that? Yeah, and the one before? You can help? Ok, we’ll talk about equity tomorrow. If you can assist with these lanterns, I’d be so appreciative. And put a contingency in for door accommodations. Ok. Bye.
• Ending (49:42)
  • Recommended reading: Red Lanterns
  • Next episodes: Jessica Cruz, Ted Anderson interview, Animal sidekicks
  • Plugs for social

References:

• The Noid - Anthony (54:30)

Music by ShidenBeatsMusic from Pixabay

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We kick off Season 10 and Lantern Month with the prickliest Earth Lantern, GUY GARDNER! How does Doc survive a session with someone like this? Tune in to find out!

• Intro
  • Welcome back for Season 10
  • January is Lantern Month
  • Patrons will get an exclusive episode, plus a watch party of the Ryan Reynolds movie

• Background (4:00)

  • Guy Gardner created by John Broome and Gil Kane in Green Lantern #59 (March 1968)
  • Guy is the child of an abusive alcoholic who regularly beat him, giving him an aggressive nature and a defiance to authority
  • In college, however, he shifts and becomes engaged in social work, and later a teacher for disabled children
  • When Abin Sur’s ring sought out a successor, Guy Gardner would have been chosen had he been closer, but since Hal Jordan was in the vicinity of the crash, he was selected
  • He later becomes a reserve Lantern, backing up John Stewart
  • Hal’s power battery explodes in his face, trapping him in the Phantom Zone - when he is freed, he is comatose and suffering from brain damage for many years
  • The Guardians revive him and give him a new ring & outfit, and charge him with assembling a team to battle the Anti-Monitor - the brain damage during his coma altered his personality, leaving him immature, arrogant, and violent
  • He is a founding member of the Justice League International, although he chafes against Batman’s leadership - Batman knocks him out with one punch, and when he awakens, he is empathetic and caring - until he hits his head again, and he reverts to his abrasive self
  • Loses a fight with Hal and surrenders his ring, but later finds a yellow ring of Sinestro’s
  • After losing an eye in another fight with Hal/Parallax, he drinks from the Warrior chalice and unlocks dormant powers hidden in his DNA - he then becomes a shapeshifter that can create weapons from his limbs
  • He is returned to full human in GL Rebirth when the Parallax entity is stripped from the main power battery, and he becomes one of the trainers for the new Corps, later becoming a member of the Honor Guard
  • During Blackest Night & War of the Lanterns, he wears a Red ring and then a Sapphire ring, fueling himself with rage over the death of Kyle Rayner and his love of the Corps
  • New 52 - He gets dismissed from the Corps after the Guardians create the Third Army to replace all Green Lanterns, but regains his ring, and along with Simon Baz & other Lanterns, they defeat the Guardians and restore the Corps
  • Then he joins the Red Lanterns, working as an undercover agent on behalf of the Green Lanterns - he takes over from Atrocitus as leader, and uses his rage against what he felt as disrespect from Hal, John, Kyle, the Guardians, and the Corps

• Issues - Gotta love ‘em, because otherwise you’ll hate ‘em (9:03)

  • All right, so...Guy Gardner. The friend in the group no one really likes that much. The really difficult coworker who's indispensable and you have to try and get along with because you know he's not going anywhere. The guy who never really grew out of his high school jock phase. We've all known a few Guy Gardners in our lives. Some of us may have even been a Guy Gardner at one time and not know it. Guy's really not that much of a mystery. His issues are right there out in the open in big blinking neon letters.
  • Cockiness and abrasive personality. If you aren't aware of how great a Green Lantern, superhero, or a man Guy is, just ask him. He'll be happy to tell you all about it. If you have a disagreement about Guy's assessment of himself, he'll also be happy to correct your misconceptions. Loudly, at first. Violently, if loudly doesn't get the job done. Guy's got an incredibly big mouth and certainly doesn't mind telling you exactly what he thinks of you. This tends to make him more than a little difficult to get along with as a person, and much more difficult as a teammate. It's become a running gag over Guy's time in DC that his fellow Corps members and Justice League teammates are not shy about expressing enjoyment when bad things befall him. Even people like Superman, who'd normally be above such things.
  • No sense of self-preservation. You know that phrase, "your mouth's writing checks your ass can't cash"? Guy's ass has not only stopped payment on the many checks his mouth has written over the years, it's sent his mouth several overdraft notices. It's the primary requirement of a Green Lantern's job description to be able to overcome great fear. One of the reasons Guy is such a great Lantern is that he seems too thick-headed to even understand the concept of fear at all. His default mode is, "you want a piece of me?" and he frequently charges head-first into a fight without any plan other than letting his willpower, gumption, and titanium balls carry the day. And he will often get slapped around for his trouble, not only by more powerful opponents like Doomsday, but baseline humans he picks fistfights with like Hal Jordan and Batman. It really seems like a little bit of healthy rational fear would serve him well. (25:48)
  • Identity wrapped up in being a Green Lantern. Of all the Lanterns we meet and get to know well, Guy loves being part of the Corps and being a superhero maybe more than any of them. Beneath his rough exterior, the times he's been on the outs with the rest of the Corps and stripped of his position absolutely kills him inside. During the War of the Lanterns arc, where he had to learn how to power a violet ring off of love, the only thing that got it working was him proclaiming his love for the Corps, and how he had absolutely nothing without them. Guy is a person who loves his job more than anything else in his life, and doesn't really know how to function when it doesn't love him back. (31:16)
• Break (40:41)
  • Plugs for Ignorance Was Bliss, Play Comics, and Howard Mackie
• Treatment (41:53)
  • In-universe - Make Guy think Doc is the best of the best, and then deflate that
  • Out of universe - Real-world equivalents? Come on, the world is full of these people. Men, women, rich, poor, they come from all backgrounds, all walks of life. Pig-headed people who think highly of themselves, think they're always right, and have a hard time making anything more than the most superficial connections with others. People who never really matured as they got older, who love to rag on others way past the point where it stops being funny, who carry jokes way too far, and can't let things go. But for whatever reason, it's easier to keep them around than the alternative. (45:28)
• Skit
  • Hello Guy, I’m Dr. Issues. - What’s up Doc?
  • Not much - I bet you hear that ALL THE TIME.
  • Eh, you get used to it. - Must be tough, dealing with all these whackjobs and nasty bastards all day.
  • It’s not easy, but - I mean it’s not like patrolling the whole galaxy or nuthin’, but it’s a good gig I ‘spose.
  • I do like - Must take a lotta willpower to face all the stuff you see every day. Bet you think you could even wield a power ring, eh?
  • To be honest, I hadn’t considered - Well lemme disabuse you of that idea right off the bat. THIS ring is only for the strongest of will. There are a lotta wannabe ring-slingers out there, but the Corps only takes the best o’ the best. I should know, they picked me.
  • I can see - An’ I’m so good they let me weed out the softies who can’t hack it. Me an’ Kilowog, we train all the rookies an’ turn ‘em into solid, functioning Lanterns. Not just anyone can do that, ya know.
  • I’m sure - ‘Course if I had full control, there’d be a few folks I’d never have let in the first place. I mean Sinestro, c’mon, you can see from a mile away he’s one guy who shoulda never got a ring. His name is friggin’ Sinestro, I mean, what’s next, a lantern called Evil McMurder? The Smurfs make a lotta mistakes, but that’s gotta be up there, top 5 at least.
  • Smurfs? - The Guardians, lil’ blue dudes, they created the Corps. They say they don’t use emotion, but if you ask me, sometimes they throw logic out the window too. Then again, they put me in charge of stuff, so what’s that saying? A blind squirrel finds a nut?
  • I have heard that - I mean, I should be the full-time Lantern for Earth, we don’t even need anyone else. The other guys are OK, but if you can have filet mignon, why settle for a sloppy joe?
  • Different folks have - John’s alright. Bit too stick in the mud for me sometimes, but he’s definitely thorough when it comes to dealing with stuff. A Marine cop architect ain’t exactly the kinda guy who’s gonna miss details. An’ a black guy has seen enough hateful stuff to give him perspective on conflict, I mean i’m sure you get crap all the time.
  • I don’t quite see how that’s - Kyle’s a good kid. He’s gotta stop beatin’ himself up over every lil’ thing, though. He needs better coping skills, ya can’t just draw your problems away. I mean he’s a great partner, but the crying and whining get old after a while. “Oh i’m a sensitive artist, all my girlfriends die, boo hoo.” If he starts pissin’ me off I ask him to get me somethin’ outta the fridge from Alex. That shuts him up for a while hahahaha
  • Wow, I don’t even know where - An’ then there’s Jordan. The hotshot. The ace pilot. The pretty boy. If I hadda nickel every time someone fawned over him, I’d be able to afford a nice little place in Pago Pago. He’s gotten us inta more scrapes and fights than I can count. Seems like just about every problem the Corps has can be traced back to him, somethin’ he did, someone he ticked off, it’s almost always Hal. An’ he knows it too. What I wouldn’t give ta wipe that smug smile offa his mug.
  • Sounds like you’ve got - Oh an’ don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried. More than once, actually. Sonuvabitch always ends up getting me with a lucky shot.
  • If it’s happened more than once - But as much as it pains me ta say it, for every time he’s put us in danger, he’s saved our ass. Mine, yours, the universe’s. He and I have gone toe-to-toe so many times, and no matter what, he’s always gonna be the first one ta back me up when it hits the fan. So yeah, I don’t like him half the time, but that don’t mean I don’t respect him. Fact is, he needs me to push him.
  • How do you - He knows I’m right awn his ass, ready to take his spot if he so much as sneezes the wrong way. John, Kyle, the other kids, hell even the other Lanterns, we’re all waiting for him to mess up. And the beauty of it is, ya don’t even hafta wait that long, because it’s Hal.
  • That kind of pressure - Makes diamonds? Yeah, that’s what it’s like in the Corps. We don’t have the luxury of second-guessing ourselves. Ya can’t be afraid of things, that’s kinda the whole point. No fear, willpower, all o’ that. When ya been through everything I’ve been through, fear is a waste o’ time.
  • But fear can - An' all those other colors, the Froot Loops Troops, they can suck an egg.
  • Other emotions are just as - Yeah, I’m sure you’re gonna give me some spiel about the power of emotions, and I’ll be honest, I’ve felt the power of all of ‘em at some point, ‘specially when they’re punching you in the face.
  • whispers I’d like to punch you in the face -oblivious Yeah, I’m used to people being too intimidated to say what they really mean. That ain’t me. You know what the world needs more of? People like me to take a stand.
  • Are you sure -I knew you’d agree so I figured I’d give you a shot at bouncing some ideas, I dunno. We don’t have someone looking at the big picture. Dare I say, I feel like a grunt even when I’m the main event.
  • Ya don’t say -The nerve, right? Some alien overlords treat me like I’m liability when I’m the biggest asset they got
  • Whispers again just biggest ass* -Oh man, I must be going deaf, you say somethin? You know doc, you’re alright. You know how to listen. You're not like all the others that want to talk down to me or beat me to a pulp. I heard about people like you. You got…whadja call it…
  • Common sense? -No…you actually think about people. Nobody is really brave or stupid enough to do that unless they have a ginormous heart or they’re a genius or they’re trying to get their head ripped off or something. You just take it all in, waiting for the right time, then BAM you say just the right thing. You told me everything I’ll ever need to know in one session. It’s awesome. I could do this all day!
  • But I didn’t -Oh don’t go with the false modesty. This is worth ten times what you charge. I’m tellin all the guys about you. I’ll have you on speed dial. All day e’ery day!
  • I don’t -Just wait till the guardians learn I really am as badass as I said all along, and I got a doctor to back me up.
  • I wouldn’t -Right, need to play that card close to the vest. Damn, you’re smart. Well, that’s about all I can stand of this. Gonna go catch the O’s game, gotta case of Natty Bo’s waitin’ for me. See ya ‘round Doc! leaves
  • sigh Why do I even care about jerks like him so much? It’s like I’m a magnet for these hard luck cases..
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors
  • Next episodes: Atrocitus, Jessica Cruz, Ted Anderson interview
  • Plugs for social

References:

• “Anti-Hero” - Anthony (50:28)

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We take on the Titanous daughter of Trigon, RAVEN! How good is Anthony's Tara Strong impression? How do you handle an empath? All this and more in our season finale - listen now!

• Intro
  • Patrons get an extra episode
  • We’ll also do a watch party of the Ryan Reynolds movie
• • Unwittingly this is season finale
  • January is Lantern month
• Background (5:09)
• • Raven created by Marv Wolfman & George Perez in DC Comics Presents #26 (October 1980)
  • Raven is the daughter of the demon Trigon and a human woman, Angela Roth - Raven was raised in Azarath to control her emotions by monks so she could control her demonic powers, which include astral projection, teleportation, and emotional manipulation
  • When she learned Trigon was planning to invade Earth, she first approached the Justice League for assistance, but when they refused, she reformed the Titans as the New Teen Titans to battle Trigon, who they imprisoned in an alternate dimension
  • When Trigon inevitably escaped, he corrupted Raven and took her over - the Titans killed her, allowing the souls of Azarath to possess her body and kill Trigon, after which she was resurrected, free of his control
  • Became Dark Raven after she was possessed by her evil conscience, and implanted her good soul in Starfire (although she said she implanted a seed of Trigon) - the evil Raven then attempted to destroy Starfire, but was defeated by the Titans, and her good soul was placed in a new body
  • She later enrolled in a high school under the name Rachel Roth, and dated Beast Boy for a while
  • She broke up with Beast Boy and left the team, although the two were unrelated
  • Discovered three half-brothers, children Trigon had with other mothers, who tried to use her to access their father’s realm - Raven used her powers to make her brothers so greedy they stole Trigon’s power
  • New 52 - her origin is practically similar, but initially she was operating as a double agent for Trigon under his control
  • During a battle with the Crime Syndicate, Raven was sent several thousand years into the past, where she used her powers to teleport herself and the Titans forward to the future, before returning to the present - all the chronal manipulation severed Trigon’s connection to her
  • She and several other heroes were kidnapped by Damian Wayne, who was putting a team together to battle Ra’s al Ghul
  • She and the other Titans create a school to train new students

• Issues - Her heart is not her own (9:15)

• • Emotional repression
  • Seemingly cannot escape her father’s manipulation & control
  • Empath power leaves her vulnerable to emotions of those around her
• Break (36:39)
• • Plugs for Scotch N Sports, Popcorn Psychology, and Meredith Finch
• Treatment (37:50)
• • In-universe -
  • Out of universe -
• Skit (47:44)
• • Hello Raven, I’m Dr. Issues. -Hello.
  • longest pause that almost makes listener think there’s something wrong with the episode Umm, what can I do for you? -Well, we can talk about…stuff. I guess.
  • Ooooooookay, such as… -I don’t know.
  • another awkward pause, but not as long as the first Feel free to talk about whatever you want. I’m not used to digging this hard to start a conversation when the person booked the first session themselves. -I got a recommendation.
  • I’m flattered pause Is there something holding you back? -sigh I was trying to avoid using this Azarath Metrion Zinthos Aaaah, that’s better. You should be easier to talk to now.
  • What did you do? -I had to find a way to let a part of myself out. But I needed a willing vessel. You work just fine.
  • I’m a good listener, not an empty vessel. -I didn’t say “empty,” just willing. You’re an empath. I can tell.
  • Then what is it that I’m supposed to carry? -Oh I don’t know…the weight of soul crushing guilt that you can never do anything to make your problems go away, or stop those that created you from ruining your life, or trying to find someone that takes you seriously for more than a fling, or…grrr…even when I throw it away I can still feel it eating at me.
  • I can tell sound of actual biting ow! What the hell? What bit me? -I’m not using metaphors.
  • You…you put your emotions into me? They physically…I don’t know how to describe this. -I wouldn’t try to put words to it. They hate that. It’s too close to an amateur trying to learn a new spell on the fly.
  • Then why do this at all? -Respite, mostly. I have a tough burden. 99.9% of the time, I keep myself reigned in. But that 0.1%...oh, when that gets out, lets loose…let’s just say NOBODY has ever liked the consequences.
  • Well, I’m certainly not liking them myself! What do you do to mature them? -pause There’s no maturation process. You have to neutralize them.
  • And that’s what you’ve been doing your whole life. -Yes. Well, when I’m in control, that’s what I do.
  • What happens specifically when you’re not in control? -I can’t answer that.
  • Can’t, or won’t -Can’t because my memories become warped and it’s usually due to someone else taking control. One time it’s a part of myself. Another time, it’s someone else. All I know is, when it gets to that point, pain and suffering follows. Then I have to do damage control and all I want to do is be left alone. Does that make sense?
  • I have to say yes…mainly because as I THINK you make sense, I now FEEL like you make seeeenOHGOD thump sound as Doc drops on the floor spoke too soon. Something you said…or I said…you don’t like. -legitimately worried That’s not good. When you reach a certain threshold, the part of myself I gave to you should automatically come back to me. magical sound effect, alduron en lenthranall it’s stuck. How is that possible?
  • Remember how you said willing vessel? Well…I think the best I can explain it is, I take my work home with me sometimes. -You can’t hold onto other people’s emotions! That’s ridiculous!
  • angry Well it’s not so literal 99.9% of the time! -sigh Ugh, FINE! alduron en lenthranall, alduron en lenthranall now in a true panic WHY ARE YOU STILL HOLDING ON?
  • grunting I need to ask a few more questions -Are you joking right now?
  • Surprisingly no. Tell me, what was so wrong with my answer before? -I didn’t believe you.
  • So you don’t trust me? -I just met you.
  • And yet you made me carry a burden that has weighed on you since you were born? There’s a huge contradiction. -I was…I was trying something different. Dark arts, meditation, isolation, fighting…that only gets me so far. I can’t lean on teammates without some serious backlash. Even the ones I love…loved…still love? Anyway, the point is, I know the definition of insanity, and I’m tired of doing the same thing over and over again. But I didn’t expect THIS. You care too much, even though I’m a stranger…and it scares me.
  • Thank you. sound of air rushing by whoa! That was exhilarating! What did you do now? -Nothing…wait…it’s back…to me…it came back? WILLINGLY came back? But not the same. I’M not the same. Or part of me…I don’t really understand myself. Is this you? No, you’re you.
  • That’s a relief. -I’ll need to explore this with other parts of myself. This is probably temporary…whatever it is…but You must be worth it if I didn’t even have to tell you about that time my father got inside me
  • Hewhatnow? -rapid Nothing gotta go and don’t worry about nightmares they go away quickly
  • Wait just a -interrupting, with magic sound effect here’s a token to ward off any demons, take one and call me in the morning
  • But I’m the -interrupting again And for your own safety please talk to someone so you don’t burn yourself out. door slams
  • Did she really say something about her dad…shudder
• Ending (53:57)
• • Recommended reading: New Teen Titans (Wolfman/Perez run)
  • Next episodes: January is Lantern month
  • Plugs for social

References:

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Things get cosmic as we discuss GLADIATOR! Doc has no shortage of confidence when it comes to dealing with this Strontian - are you not entertained?

• Intro
  • Extra Life reminder

• Background (3:50)

  • Gladiator of the Imperial Guard created by Chris Claremont and Dave Cockrum in The X-Men #107 (Oct 1977)
  • Introduced as a member of the Imperial Guard of the Shi’ar Empire, serving under Emperor D’Ken, brother of the exiled Lilandra
  • Kallark is a Strontian, and the race is incredibly strong, but only when devoted to a principle - Kallark and other Strontians were vying for a spot in the guard, when they were ordered to return to Strontia and kill their elders - only Kallark obeyed without question, learning that it was a test of loyalty set up by the elders to protect the homeworld
  • He encountered several heroes along his journey, as he continued to serve whoever was in charge of the Shi’ar Empire - D’Ken, Lilandra, Deathbird, and Vulcan
  • Kallark defends the Empire against Vulcan and his assault, but when Vulcan leads a coup and takes over, Kallark is honor-bound to serve, although he has fleeting thoughts of doubt
  • On Vulcan’s orders, Kallark and the guard attack the wedding of Crystal and Ronan, intended to unite the Kree and Inhumans, though he sides with Lilandra to prevent her execution, he is unable to prevent a later assassination
  • He accepts the position of Emperor of the Shi’ar to prevent further bloodshed and war, but appoints two advisors to help him handle most of the logistics of running the empire
  • Joins the Annihilators to give himself an outlet for fighting, but refuses a leadership role
  • Joins the Galactic Council, where he decides that Earth must be destroyed to save the universe from incursions, but when it was restored, no memory remained of the destruction
  • Put a time-displaced Jean Grey on trial for her “future” crimes as Phoenix
  • After Xandra is discovered, Kallark hands over the throne of the Shi’ar empire to her and returns to his role as head of the Guard

• Issues - More than you think you know (11:10)

  • The waxing and waning of his self-esteem and focus. It's a function of the Strontian species that their physical abilities are all directly tied to their confidence level and their belief in themselves and their purpose. When Gladiator believes he can do so, he is powerful enough to knock planets out of their orbit, burn Galactus with his heat vision, and is said to have once ripped a black hole in half. Which I really hope was just an idle boast, because there's just...so many things wrong with that sentence. When he doubts himself, he becomes weak enough to get smacked around by Cannonball.
  • A slavish devotion to his sense of duty. Gladiator takes his oath of loyalty to the Shi'ar throne and his position as Praetor of the Imperial Guard VERY seriously. He begins his career of imperial service when the Emperor orders him and the rest of the cadets being evaluated with him to kill the Council of Elders of his home planet as a test of loyalty. Most of the rest of the cadets refuse the order and rebel. Gladiator obeys it without question. He's had to serve a string of emperors and empresses who were objectively very bad people, from T'Korr to D'Ken to Deathbird to Vulcan. He hates the things he's ordered to do most of the time, but is a loyal servant of the throne through and through, purposefully keeping his focus single-mindedly on his duty in order to keep his powers at their maximum level and best perform his duties. The only time he ever wavers is when he's ordered to execute Lilandra, which is a pretty high bar, all things considered. (18:38)
  • Lack of faith in his ability to lead anything that's not the Guard. When Vulcan and Deathbird are dispatched after War of Kings, Gladiator really doesn't want to take charge of what's left of the empire, and would rather anyone else be leader besides him. When he's with the Annihilators, he has no interest in any kind of a leadership role despite arguably being the team's most powerful member. When Professor X and Lilandra both die and someone has the bright idea to hatch a child from an egg made out of their combined genetic material, Gladiator's first response is, oh, thank God you’re here! YOU'RE the empress now! This is probably tied into the confidence-based nature of his powers, but even with all of his experience serving at the highest echelons of an interstellar empire that boasts over one million member states, he really seems allergic to the idea of being in charge of anything that's not in his comfort zone of the Praetorian Guard. (25:46)
• Break (34:32)
  • Plugs for ODPH, Freudian Sips, and Cullen Bunn
• Treatment (36:07)
  • In-universe - Get him out of his element
  • Out of universe - Compare to high-level athlete with the yips (39:14)
• Skit (48:31)
  • Hello Kallark, I’m Dr. Issues. -Thank you for taking the time to see me, doctor.
  • So, what can I do for you? -Forgive me my manners, but, we should at least shake hands before discussing more…personal items.
  • Ok, sure -yellOw! You have quite the grip for a human.
  • Said…no one ever. Are you ok? I wasn’t even trying to -abruptly I’m fine. Everythings fine. Not everything, but my hand is fine. whispering to himself Have I truly fallen so far?
  • What was that? -Nothing. I…I need to see you because I have some questions that only a man of mental science can answer.
  • Mental sci…that’s unique. Anyhoo, go ahead. -Even though I am eons old, I pride myself on my…stamina. hushed tone do you understand what I’m saying? This is embarrassing.
  • Well, you might need a different specialist, then. Do you have a primary care provider? -The Shi’ar Empire has spared no expense to test me from crown to sole, and yet, they find nothing…but…I haven’t given them all of my…details.
  • Go on…sigh look, I’m a professional. This is all confidential. If this goes where I think it’s going, I may have ways to assist you. Continue -deep breath I am a proud member of the Imperial Guard. The proudest…member…if you will. I train my body constantly to serve in as many capacities as I can. And yet, I must admit…I may have cheated…oh the shame!
  • I’m not casting judgment. You cheated with whom? -No, no, I do not blame anyone besides myself, by my own hand.
  • Well, your hands may desensitize you if you aren’t using variation in technique. -You do sound like you know about this topic quite well, and without hesitation. Alright then! I’ll admit, I’ve resorted to using some natural remedies. Supplements if you will.
  • Oh really? Well, on Earth many of those products do more harm than good. -I have learned the…umm..hard way…that this is true throughout the galaxy. Sure, for a brief time I felt like I could tackle a whole army and have my way with them in any test of…accomplishment. But that feeling faded. Now I feel…weaker than any Strontian has any right to feel. I may look the same, but I can tell I lack…girth. Is this making sense?
  • Yes, and I definitely can help you. There is plenty of literature on my planet that shows some men have this type of adverse reaction to treatments for anxiety or depression. -Really? So they can’t get up what they used to? I could lift planets out of their natural orbit, you know.
  • Um…not the visual I would have wanted, but my point is, it’s treatable. I don’t know what the alien equivalent is, but here, it’s called sildenafil. There are some options, and I want to go over the risks and benefits of - interrupting I have no fear of risks! Just tell me the benefits, please.
  • Well, as you may have guessed, you’ll be able to function in that area again. It increases blood flow, but the typical formulation is only used as needed to avoid staying that way permanently. -What? As needed? But I am always needed. The guard never ceases their duties. How am I supposed to maintain a steady workload if I rely on this temporary aide?
  • Well first you need to try a low-interrupting And what time of day do I take this…sildenafil?
  • On the days you use it…and ONLY on that day, you can take it up to 4 hours before any stimulation, but it’s best 30 minutes before -And what about my diet?
  • Don’t eat, you need an empty stomach, but you can drink water, it’s good to stay hydrated, anyway. -And what if I need to increase my…output. How many of these can I take?
  • Just one a day, but -And will this also affect my breathing if I am too vigorous?
  • Actually, for pulmonary hyperten -And what about if I am injured? If this affects my blood, will I suffer mortal wounds easier?
  • I wouldn’t recommend -Plus I don’t…recover…as well as I used to. If I take anything else, will it affect those things as well?
  • I thought you didn’t care about side -How long do I take this, if I feel like my…body…is catching up to my…head? Sometimes I get a throbbing
  • STOP! breathing heavily Look, stop with the innuendo, alright? You’re talking about a sensitive topic, but you got through it. It’s not easy to penetrate your defenses, but I’ve kept a stiff upper lip for too long. You’re not going deep enough to get to the psychological basis of all of this. I can’t last much longer. We need to start talking in plain language, or this whole encounter ends in a meaningless discharge. Do I make myself clear? -shouts SIR YES SIR!
  • Good. Now, as I was trying to say before you unloaded all of your emotional content, erectile dysfunction is -shocked EXCUSE ME?!!!
  • pause Come again? -WHAT are you on about? I’ve been pouring my soul out about my decline as a defender of the empire, and you want to talk about…sexual matters? What is wrong with you?
  • I…I thought -You are a disgrace to your profession! And to think, I let myself believe that I needed your kind of help. I have tested the limits of EXISTENCE, and you have some sort of perverse motive to corrupt everything I stand for. How dare you!
  • But the…and your cadence…your tone…the embarrass…sigh You know what? I’m willing to cut my losses. I apologize for the misunderstanding. I can refer you to another clinician, and we’ll wipe the slate clean. Shake on it? -pause You drive a hard bargain.
  • crunching sound OOOWWWW Where did that come from? -My grip…that’s the grip I know that could choke out the Sun…YOU DID IT! I don’t know how, but I’m back to…to ME? I can trust my…head…as well as my body…with my hands…I’m so excited I could just explode! Thank you! The Empire thanks you. THE UNIVERSE WILL SHOWER YOU WITH JOY swooshing sound to indicate flying away YESSSSSSS!
  • sigh I need a vacation.
• Ending (55:09)
  • Recommended reading: War of Kings
  • Next episodes: Raven, Aquaman
  • Plugs for social

Transcript

References:

• Moira episode - Anthony (6:05)
• Crystal episode - Anthony (7:08)
• Transformers Movie - Anthony (8:05)
• Rogue & Gambit episodes - Anthony (10:10)
• Dan and Dave 30 for 30 Podcast - Doc (44:45)

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• Intro
  • Reminder of charity event on 12/18

• Background (4:02)

  • Moira MacTaggert created by Chris Claremont & Dave Cockrum in Uncanny X-Men #96 (Dec. 1975)
  • Moira Kinross had been dating Joseph MacTaggert prior to meeting Charles Xavier, but left Joseph to become engaged to Charles
  • Joseph managed to convince Charles to serve in the military in order to be “worthy” of Moira, and while he was gone, he worked his way back to her and forced her to break off the engagement
  • After they were married, Joseph became abusive, and when Moira ran away, he tracked her down, beat her and raped her, leaving her in a coma for a week - the child would later become Proteus
  • Studied genetics and founded a mutant research center on Muir Island, and reconnected with Charles, pushing him to form his school
  • Moira ran a school of her own, training mutants who were outcasts - it was this group of students (including Cyclops’ brother Vulcan) that Charles first sent in to rescue his captured team, but the children were all seemingly killed, and Charles wiped everyone’s mind out of shame
  • Showed up at Xavier’s school claiming to be a “housekeeper” to help Charles keep an eye on the school, and she fell in love with Banshee
  • Kept Proteus confined at Muir Island to protect the world, but he escaped, and she was forced to reveal the truth to the team and Joseph, who was unaware he had a son for 20 years
  • Also helped David Haller cope with his unstable powers before bringing in Charles and helping him with his son
  • Contracted the Legacy Virus, and seemingly died in an attack on Muir Island by Mystique and the Brotherhood
  • House of X/Powers of X revealed a massive retcon - Moira had been a mutant all along, with the power of reincarnation and the ability to recall everything from her previous life - she used this information to attempt to alter history several times, both siding with and trying to fight against mutants
  • An encounter with Mystique and Destiny in her 3rd life reveals that she will only get 10 or 11 lives
  • She is responsible for bringing together Charles and Magneto, along with Apocalypse and several other mutants, to create the nation-state Krakoa as a haven for mutants, although she is operating behind the scenes - her previous death was retconned as that of a Shi’ar golem
  • She, Charles, and Magneto establish resurrection protocols for all mutants on Krakoa, but Moira specifically wants to prevent Destiny or any other precognitive mutants from being resurrected, lest they discover her or her plans - when Mystique manages to have Destiny resurrected anyway, Moira has Emma Frost brought into the fold, only for Emma to reveal Moira’s existence to everyone - Destiny & Mystique shoot Moira with Forge’s mutant removal gun, turning her back into a baseline human, and exiling her from Krakoa
  • Before she dies, she transfers her mind to an Omega Sentinel
  • Was one of the protagonists of AXE Judgment Day, where she sells out Krakoa and mutants to the Eternals as revenge for kicking her out

• Issues - Theme is Groundhog Day Gone Wrong (13:28)

  • Mad scientist archetype - experimenting on your own kind
  • Manipulating the future (20:30)
  • Imprisonment of your own son - later revealing his birth was purely for scientific purposes, but that wasn’t canon at the time (28:02)
• Break (36:39)
  • Plugs for Frigay the 13th, Hops Geek News, and Gail Simone
• Treatment (38:49)
  • In-universe -
  • Out of universe - (43:34)
• Skit (50:42)
  • DOC: Hello Dr. MacTaggert, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • MOIRA: Going for the formal helps with the disassociation, I see.
  • DOC: pause So, do you prefer Moira, or
  • MOIRA: Don’t be dense, Doc. It’s beneath you.
  • DOC: I was trying to be witty, but I guess I failed…or you didn’t catch it because you’re too engrossed in analyzing me.
  • MOIRA: It’s a habit. Not a bad one, really. When you’ve done this as many times as I have, you have to find ways to amuse yourself.
  • DOC: Done what, exactly?
  • MOIRA: All of this. The analysis, the prodding, the experimentation, incarceration, exploitation… realizes there’s a pattern here isolation, incineration…
  • DOC: Well-
  • MOIRA: Objectification… deviation…
  • DOC: Doctor MacTaggert-
  • MOIRA: Oh, discrimination, can’t forget that one…
  • DOC: Can we please move on?
  • MOIRA: inspired Infantilization
  • DOC: You’ve made your point.
  • MOIRA: I wanted to see how long I could keep it up.
  • DOC: Oh believe me, I would listen to you all day if I didn’t have other things to do, because it’s clear that I don’t have a role in your world otherwise. Not my circus, not my monkeys…and NO, that’s not a shot at any group of people, if you’re going to try and exploit that comment.
  • MOIRA: Oh, no one has a role in my world. Or at least no one has a role they’re willing to play properly. That’s been the trouble over these lives, if they’d just listen to me we could’ve had such an easy go of things. But no matter how many times I try, I cannot get people to listen. So don’t take it personally doctor, there isn’t a being on this planet - human or mutant - that is on my level.
  • DOC: Of course not. You created your own level. Who wants to get on it? Well, that’s a different story. You’re not matching the incentives of others, so they’re disinterested…antagonistic, even. Projective identification.
  • MOIRA: Oh don’t come at me with that nonsense. I’ve tried to match incentives. I’ve done the work in ways you can’t even imagine. I’ve gone through torturous lifetimes that would make your soul weep. The end is always the same - death and pain for everyone. So I’m trying a new tactic, and I’m going to prevent the pain from even starting. But no, I have to deal with zealots like Erik who fight for the purity of it all, or hopeless optimists like Charles who believe in a harmony that will never exist, or warmongers like Apocalypse who revel in the pain. I created my own level because no one else actually wants to keep people from suffering. I came close… I had a utopia… and they hated me for it. So now I’m done cooperating, I’m done pretending to be nice Moira. I’ll give them the world they don’t know they want, and they can thank me later. Or not. Either way, they’re getting it.
  • DOC: Fatalism. Next?
  • MOIRA: Oversimplification. Next?
  • DOC: It’s not my fault if you collapse all of your trauma into a term that any undergraduate could look up in seconds. I think your collective experience yields more wisdom than that. But you already know that, don’t you?
  • MOIRA: There are no words in English, Krakoan, or any other form of communication on this planet that could define what I have gone through.
  • DOC: Then stop using those languages. You get to make your own definitions. You’re too smart to get yourself bogged down in existentialism. I get that. But you’ve cut too much meat off of the bone. That’s a flavorless existence.
  • MOIRA: Mixed metaphors,tsk tsk tsk you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
  • DOC: Deflection. Good one.
  • MOIRA: And what is your role in all of this? You play along with the “heroes”, deluding yourself into believing you’re “helping” make things better, all in service of some greater good that does. Not. Exist. And all the while the world hurtles towards its inevitable extinction. You are… you are so out of your element it defies explanation.
  • DOC: Ad hominem attack. Nice. Almost threw in nihilism but not quite.
  • MOIRA: Oh, now look who’s
  • DOC: interrupting condescension, albeit juvenile.
  • MOIRA: That’s not really-
  • DOC: clearly not listening But where are the emotional overtones? Where’s rage? No, too intellectual for that…Bombast. That’s the word.
  • MOIRA: Are you daft?
  • DOC: No no no, we already covered that. Ah, I wish I had one of my professors here, we’d keep going longer, but you’re not helping
  • MOIRA: This is outrageous. Stop it!
  • DOC: snaps finger premeditated victimization! That’s it! That’s the new term you’ve created for yourself. You live your life solely for the purpose of your own martyrdom, like a bastardized phoenix!
  • MOIRA: How dare you compare me to that… thing… I am not some wanton destroyer bent on chaos. I was bringing life and order and peace to an entire planet, I was ending millennia of conflict. I am a scalpel, and you think me a Neanderthalic club. This further proves how inadequate your conception of my plans and the world is. Even for someone who’s lived a multitude of lives, I have wasted so much time speaking with you.
  • DOC: Your choice, right? And to clarify my stance in your metaphor, I DO think you know how to hold a scalpel. I’m not accustomed to someone so willingly holding the belly of the blade in their palm and complain that the world doesn’t appreciate the bloodshed.
  • MOIRA: As any woman will tell you, birth requires bloodshed. I’m not shying away from it. It’s simply an objective assessment of the situation.
  • DOC: Oh, I agree it’s objectification alright. I know that’s not what you said, but I had to give my objective assessment of your objective assessment, you see.
  • MOIRA: Hmm. I am no longer entertained by this game. We’re done here.
  • DOC: Sorry you consider this a game. After all, I thought you make the rules.
  • MOIRA: I do. And one of the keys to prestidigitation is sleight of hand. not to Doc Orchis, that should have been enough time. You can take me out now. pause What do you mean you couldn’t hack the system?
  • DOC: Who are you-
  • MOIRA: I don’t care if Mystique couldn’t get in, she didn’t have your… our resources. Ugh. This entire mission is a failure. I will have your hide when I return.
  • DOC: What-
  • MOIRA: I will see you again, Doctor. In this lifetime. teleportation sound
• Ending (56:50)
  • Recommended reading: Krakoan Age of X-Men, starting with HoX/PoX
  • Next episodes: Gladiator, Raven, Aquaman
  • Plugs for social

Transcript

References:

• Anthony Extra Life fundraiser
• Romesh Ranganathan comedy clip - Doc (33:30)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

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For the FIFTH TIME, we are visited by the hilarious ERICA SCHULTZ! Do we talk comics? Eventually…

• Intro

• Background

• Bylines in Blood

  • Basis for story
• NYCC announcements
  • X-23: Deadly Regenesis
  • Hallow’s Eve
• Ending
  • Next episodes: Moira MacTaggert, Gladiator, Aquaman
  • Plugs for social
• Transcript

References:

• Anthony Extra Life fundraiser

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

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This show is going green, as we cover POISON IVY with the help of licensed therapist Sara Boyadjis!

• Intro
  • Sara - give us your background

• Background (2:54)

  • Poison Ivy, Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley, created by Robert Kanigher & Carmine Infantino in Batman #181 (June 1966)
  • Originally a botanist who was poisoned to prevent her from implicating a colleague in a theft, she survived and learned she was immune to toxins - attacked Gotham to prove she was the greatest female super villain ever
  • Reimagined post-Crisis by Neil Gaiman, Pamela Isley was mentored in biochemistry by Dr. Jason Woodrue (Floronic Man), and was colleagues with Alec Holland (Swamp Thing)
  • Woodrue seduces her and injects her with toxins as an experiment - she is hospitalized, and when she recovers she vacillates quickly between kindness and rage
  • The experiments also give her the ability to manipulate plants, and her touch can transfer a fungus that gives her a control over people
  • She becomes obsessed with Batman, as he is one of the only people she cannot control due to his strong will, although she has overcome him on occasion
  • Woodrue breaks Ivy out of Arkham to help him create mind-controlling hemp to take over Gotham, but she sides with Batman, who decapitates Woodrue, as she takes the money and runs away - whole storyline was Very Special Episode about drugs
  • In “No Man’s Land”, after Gotham is hit by an earthquake and isolated from the rest of the US, Ivy takes over Robinson Park, and turns it into an Eden-esque paradise - she also takes several orphans under her wing - she strikes a deal with Batman to maintain control over the area, as long as she grows food for the rest of the population
  • This is when she first meets Harley Quinn, left for dead by the Joker - Ivy nurses Harley back to health, and the two become close friends
  • After thinking her powers were poisoning the children in her care, she asks Bruce Wayne to help reverse her powers and make her human - she later regains her powers thanks to Hush, although the procedure temporarily kills her (she gets better) #BecauseComics
  • New 52 reboots her origin - she was born with a skin condition that kept her isolated, her father murdered her mother, and in college she sold pheromone pills that mind controlled users - she later joined Wayne Enterprises to study biochemistry, but was the victim of an accidental chemical spill that gave her the ability to control plant matter
  • Creates plant-human hybrid children that grow at an accelerated rate - the children leave Ivy and go off on their own
  • Eventually settles in as antihero, focusing on environmental activism
  • Establishes a relationship with Harley Quinn, but the two break it off after Ivy reveals she loves the planet more than any one person on it

• Issues - Opportunities for natural growth

  • The greener she gets, the more misanthropic she gets
  • Two specific carve outs: first Bruce, based more as an obsession (18:02)
  • Harley relationship humanizes them both, and is the healthiest one either of them has (27:12)
• Break (40:42)
  • Plugs for Grief Burrito, Frigay the 13th, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson
• Treatment (42:14)
  • In-universe - Have Ivy create an area by herself, where she can be alone with plants, and slowly integrate other people
  • Out of universe (49:00) - Address individual with god complex
• Skit (54:05)
  • DOC: Hello Dr. Isley, I’m Dr. Issues
  • IVY: Thanks for remembering I have a doctorate.
  • DOC: My experience tells me that no matter what has happened to a person, their training sticks with them. Credentials come and go.
  • IVY: Sounds like the seasons. Spring and fall, winter and summer. They tend to pair up that way, don’t you think? I know it’s common to think of the full cycle, but that’s not how nature works for things to grow.
  • DOC: Some things offset, sure. Now, what can I do for you?
  • IVY: As a person, probably little. But as fertilizer, maybe you’re up to snuff.
  • DOC: sarcastic And there are those famous thorny barbs I’ve heard so much about.
  • IVY: Force of habit.
  • DOC: I heard the opposite; you wait for someone to put their guard down, and then you manipulate them or trap them.
  • IVY: You’re bringing up ancient history. Those roots have withered. I’m in this world for much bigger purposes.
  • DOC: Well, maybe I can help with your mindset and goals. Keep you emotionally focused, right?
  • IVY: Emotion doesn’t matter when you have a world to save. Your experience with…others should have taught you that.
  • DOC: Too many to name
  • IVY: You only need one. You KNOW who I’m talking about.
  • DOC: pause There’s an easy answer, and there’s a hard answer. Which do you want first?
  • IVY: irritable I’m not a child waiting for guessing games calms down…but if you must know, always handle the thorns first so the delicate petals bloom.
  • DOC: Hard first then. sigh I’m not talking about Harley.
  • IVY: surprised But she sent me here! She said you put up with all sorts of…nonsense that drives the Arkham therapists bonkers. And she doesn’t trust people…EVER. Neither do I. So…who?
  • DOC: I can’t give their name, because it’s not mine to give.
  • IVY: I knew it. You’re a stooge! You don’t care about her, or me, or the planet, do you? You just want to be another one of his…lapdog Bat children that miss the forest AND the trees. It was a mistake coming here.
  • DOC: WAIT! Wait…you didn’t hear the easy part.
  • IVY: sigh, clearly angry make it quick
  • DOC: I agree that you can be a part of saving the world, with the right tools.
  • IVY: You realize you put me through unnecessary anguish by getting your priorities mixed up, right?
  • DOC: gulp I apologize, okay? I want this to work, but I’m not going to shy away from your blindspots. What would it take for you to trust me on this?
  • IVY: Tell me about these tools of yours.
  • DOC: Well…this may not be what you want to hear, but there are some medications that-
  • IVY: interrupting I’m immune to toxins, control pheromones, and learned the essence of life itself, and you want to talk about medication?!!! Do you know the harm that Big Pharma has done to humankind, let alone the plant kingdom? How dare you!
  • DOC: Please! It’s not what you think! stuttering due to fear e-e-e-ever heard of St John’s Wort?
  • IVY: Of course. It’s a common natural supplement for those with depression.
  • DOC: And psilocybin?
  • IVY: Good old “magic mushrooms.” Had to keep Harley from trying to bury herself into the ground…she called herself “mother earth.” Not something to play with.
  • DOC: How about kratom
  • IVY: Are you insane?! Nobody should touch that stuff without knowing the psychological effects even if there’s anecdotal evidence for pain…where are you going with this?
  • DOC: That plants are the essence of all medicine, and we know it. YOU know it. I wouldn’t dare prescribe any of the things mentioned without more study because it’s too dangerous without more information. But that doesn’t mean people who care…I mean REALLY care, aren’t trying to find out.
  • IVY: After everything I’ve done in my life, you think a review board would allow me to participate in any such research? I’m banned for life!
  • DOC: …and when has that mattered before?
  • IVY: You’d be risking your license on someone who is a lost cause.
  • DOC: No, I’m not saying you should DO the research, I’m saying you should be a PART of the research.
  • IVY: You want me to be a guinea pig. You’re evil, you know that? You are no better than any of the fossil industry moguls that strip the planet bare. You would have me die on the vine rather than produce fruit for the world!
  • DOC: No, no, no…you don’t get it…I’m trusting you with your gift. You’re IMMUNE.
  • IVY: pause My body can process things that others can’t…filter out the danger…and only leave what’s left if there’s a way to…extract it without turning me into a green slurry in a food processor.
  • DOC: Ewww…but yes. You could be the source of a natural treatment process that eliminates the stigma of medication management, improves the safety, AND helps with your…let’s just say, mood lability.
  • IVY: And you could do all of that…for me?
  • DOC: actually…no.
  • IVY: angry WHAT???
  • DOC: WAIT! Again! My point is that your own version of the world can include those types of goals in the long run, but we can’t do that yet. And we sure can’t do it alone. You have an opportunity to prove me wrong, but we have to meet somewhere in the middle. I have approved safe treatments that help. You have a grand scheme for how the planet should be. Can we meet somewhere in the middle?
  • IVY: calmer You’re weird, you know that?
  • DOC: Compared to…
  • IVY: True…perhaps we can work on crossbreeding pollinators with aerosolized melatonin. The possibilities are endless.
  • DOC: An apple a day could truly keep the doctor away. Well, most of them.
  • dream sequence sounds
  • IVY: Doctor? Doctor?
  • DOC: snoring
  • IVY: Oh dear, I forgot to tell him to use a filtration system for his office. Those pheromones will give him some incredibly odd dreams. I’ll have to keep a note of that since most people just become mindless drones. Perhaps there’s something unique in his genetic makeup or blood chemistry…
  • DOC: whispering while sleeping Lithium in lilacs, who could say no?
  • IVY: Hoo boy... And I STILL didn’t get the easy or hard answers out of him. On the bright side, these ramblings make for fascinating research. I will say these sessions are worth my time, at least a little bit.
• Ending (60:54)
  • Recommended reading: Fruit of the Earth, part of No Man’s Land
  • Next episodes: Moira McTaggert, Gladiator, Raven
  • Plugs for social

Transcript

References:

• Anthony Extra Life fundraiser
• Tee Franklin episode - Anthony (10:04)
• Harley Quinn episode - Anthony (27:20)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

iHeartRadio: here

Twitter

Facebook

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• Intro
• Background
  • Mystique, Raven Darkholme, created by Chris Claremont & Dave Cockrum in Ms. Marvel #16 (April 1978)
  • To this day, Mystique’s true origins have never been revealed
  • The earliest stories place her around 1900, where she was presenting as male and in a relationship with Irene Adler (Destiny), an obvious reference to Sherlock Holmes
  • While undercover, she had a short fling with Sabretooth, which led to a child Graydon Creed - despite having 2 mutant parents, Graydon is a normal human who comes to resent all mutants - he grows up to become a powerful politician before being assassinated by a time-traveling version of Mystique #BecauseComics
  • She is later seduced by Azazel., and becomes pregnant with a baby that she abandoned at birth - the baby would be taken in and named Kurt Wagner, aka Nightcrawler
    • Side note - Claremont intended for Mystique & Destiny to be Nightcrawler’s parents, but the Code wouldn’t allow a lesbian relationship at the time
  • Encounters a young runaway girl from Mississippi, and after Destiny foresees that she will become important to them, she takes in the young Rogue and acts as her foster mother
  • She leads a version of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, and trains Rogue to join them and attack Ms. Marvel - Rogue ends up absorbing Carol’s powers, memories, and personality for a time #BecauseComics
  • Turns the Brotherhood “legit” as Freedom Force, and they work for the government, while still clashing with the X-Men - during this time, Irene is killed, and this has a serious impact on her
  • Joins X-Factor under duress, but after some time she escapes and flees to Europe, where she becomes a top fashion model
  • Joins the X-Men as a shapeshifter named Foxx, and attempts to seduce Gambit so she can break up Gambit & Rogue and set up Rogue with another mutant - the ploy fails, but she joins the team on a probationary basis - Kurt says he needs time to process, though, which she gives him
  • Works with Gambit & the Marauders to betray Mister Sinister in the fallout of M-Day - Logan is sent to kill her, and he severely wounds her, but does not finish the job
  • She is later actually killed by Logan after she had been posing as Professor X for Norman Osborn’s Dark X-Men
  • She was revived by the Hand, and posed as Dazzler, who was a mutant liaison for SHIELD in Madripoor
  • Had a tender moment with Rogue before her wedding to Gambit
  • Serves on the Quiet Council of Krakoa as a Winter representative
• • Issues - Piercing the veil - Can’t really be herself because of the hatred towards mutants - Always distant in her relationships - rare exceptions, like Irene & Rogue - Inner self-acceptance isn’t always reflected in outer appearance, which is difficult
  • Break (37:27)
    • Plugs for Take a Knee for Marvel vs. DC, Into the Knight, and Chris Claremont
  • Treatment (38:42)
    • In-universe - Become emotions, not people
    • Out of universe
  • Skit (49:34)
    • knock at the door Come in -*Mrs Issues Hey, just stopping by*

• Oh! Um…usually you text me, but ok, I thought you were my next patient -No problem, I figured I hadn’t been to your office in a while and I know you’ve had some rough days.

• • • Thanks pause I thought you had class tonight. -I do, that’s why I brought someone along with me to cheer you up; plus you can keep watch for a bit. I’ll be right back but I have to get my stuff from the car. door closes - As always. But where’s -Door opensDaughter Issues Daddy! - pause Ok Getthefkout -WHAT? Why? fake crying - Seriously get out or identify yourself or I’m calling the police -some sort of morphing sound, now Mystique***

• M: well you don’t have to be so rude, I thought you were a professional.

• • • D Professional enough to know my own daughter hasn’t called me “daddy” in years. Her choice, not mine. And I guess I can’t call the police on my own patient if I haven’t given them a chance to explain. Don’t expect me to be cheery after a stunt like that. -

• M You’re perceptive, I’ll grant you that. But now we have a problem.

• • • D I know what my problem is. What’s yours?

• M sigh Let’s be real. You can’t fight me, and I don’t necessarily want to fight you. But you’re valuable. More than you know.

• • • D You were going to kidnap me?!

• M laughs No, nothing as dramatic as that. This was supposed to be a stealth operation. You have information. I need it.

• • • D I’ve already been down that rabbit hole. Secure encryption, magical wards, along with undisclosed offshore servers have made sure I don’t make the same mistake ever again.

• M Doom really hooked you up, then.

• • • D HOW…deep breath...you are masterful, you know that? Always seeking more information, more leverage.

• M: It’s my currency, it’s how I get ahead.

• • • D: But do you need that anymore? You don’t come across as someone who wants to be at the beck and call of someone else, but you also find ways to put yourself as the center of attention, even if no one else knows it yet. I know those aren’t mutually exclusive, but that can get complicated very fast.

• M: My life is complicated? Hmmm, I would have never thought that in a hundred years…no wait, that is EXACTLY what I’ve spent every day for the last hundred-plus years thinking about. I have enough baggage to fill an entire airport. I just choose which ones to pick up on various occasions.

• • • D: So what set of circumstances would lead you to add me to the mix? It’s obvious you don’t want therapy.

• M: I won’t divulge my secrets if you won’t divulge yours.

• • • D: This isn’t a negotiation.

• M: Au contraire. All conversations are negotiations. Most people don’t apply the proper context. Or pressure.

• • • D: This must be so difficult for you. You’re talking to a person that’s not of your world, nothing to offer that you couldn’t weasel out in some other way, and yet, this is the path you chose. You find me weak, but interesting, and I don’t know why.

• M: pause Are you fishing, or trying to sound profound?

• D: Why not both? My point is, you seem to set up your own challenges without respect to the person, or the emotional consequences even for yourself. I’ll give you a hypothetical. What if you learn of someone you DIDN’T want to have on your radar, and they hunt you down after they destroy me? Is that risk worth it?

• M: It wouldn’t be the first time that someone else gets hurt in the crossfire.

• • • D: But what if it’s someone you actually care about? Are you really going to throw away the opportunity to improve a lasting relationship for the sake of an odd job or morbid curiosity? What if I could offer you that chance and the other person is willing to talk about it…with you and me?

• M: You can’t make promises like that.

• • • D: Never said I could. But I can try. That’s all I’m saying.

• M: I know for a fact that you aren’t a…family therapist.

• • • D: Who said it was family?

• M: pause I…

• • • D: snaps fingers YOU were fishing! You didn’t know! This was a hunch, wasn’t it?

• M: sigh There aren’t that many psychiatrists that delve into…our type, for lack of a better term. Word spreads fast. I have the background on your services, but things were locked out, as you so eloquently put it, before I could get any good dirt. But still…if there was a chance…

• • • D: There’s no alternative mission…no monetary gain? You really just want…hmmm…I meant what I said. No guarantees. This may get messy.

• M: As always. So…you know, I may have wanted someone that is NOT considered a person close to me. If I disclose it, would you be able to set up someone like that, too?

• • • D: Nope Nope Nope. This is a one-time deal. You get one person, I contact on my time. If they say no, you don’t get another chance. Understood?

• M: Clearly. Doesn’t mean I will stop trying. I have more on you, you know. Think about it. Every person you see in your life could be me, doctor. A. Ny. One.

• • • D: And every person you meet is an opportunity for you to stop looking at them as a puppet to mimic, and engage them for who you really are. I guess we’ll both have doubts.

• M: You are learning to negotiate better. Keep at it, and I might consider this…therapeutic.

for end of show No matter how complicated life can be, you’ll always have control of your own mystique -

M: morphing sound Oh do you, now?

Uhhhhhh…for Anthony I guess? Gah! I’m Doctor Issues thank you so much we’ll see you next week!

• Ending (55:06)
  • Recommended reading: Mystique by Brian K. Vaughan
  • Next episodes: Poison Ivy, Moira McTaggert, Gladiator
  • Plugs for social

Transcript

References:

• Carol Danvers episode - Anthony (3:18)
• Rogue episode - Anthony (3:20)

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Before he makes his big screen debut in Wakanda Forever, we take a deep dive on NAMOR! To what depths does his distrust of the surface world go?

• Intro
  • New patron: Citizen Amar-Kareem

• Background (4:55)

  • Namor Mckenzie, the Sub-Mariner, created by Bill Everett in Motion Picture Funnies Weekly (April 1939) and Marvel Comics #1 (October 1939)
  • Namor was born from a human father, sea captain Leonard McKenzie, and an Atlantean, Fen, daughter of Emperor Thakorr
  • His unique parentage gave him both strengths and weaknesses that other Atlanteans did not possess: he is pink skinned like humans as opposed to the blue skin of pureblood Atlanteans, but he cannot survive in water or on land for prolonged periods of time, or it will impact his psyche
  • Initially Namor was, if not a full villain, at best an antihero or well-intentioned extremist, attacking Americans in the name of protecting Atlantis and the ocean
  • Once WWII started, he joined other heroes in attacking Nazis
  • After WWII, he suffered an amnesiac attack, and once he recovered, he joined Professor Xavier in searching for mutants - Xavier’s attempt at repairing his memories, however, created further issues in Namor’s mind, and gave him bipolar disorder
  • He was later found wandering the streets of New York as an amnesiac vagrant - upon learning that Atlantis was destroyed by nuclear bombs, his memories returned and he vowed revenge on the surface world, pitting him against the Fantastic Four numerous times
  • He would attempt several times to woo Susan Storm away from Reed, but although Sue admits an attraction to Namor, she remains loyal to her husband
  • He married twice - his first wife Dorma was killed shortly after the wedding by an evil mermaid, and his second wife Marrina was driven mad, and Namor was forced to kill her with the Ebony Blade - she survived, and Norman Osborn altered her DNA to turn her into a raging beast as part of his revenge on Namor, who killed her once again #BecauseComics
  • In the 90s, he searches for sunken treasures and uses the money to finance a corporation that focuses on conservation
  • He is a member of the Illuminati, and notably the only one opposed to sending the Hulk into space, as he foresaw dire consequences should Bruce return - he was the only one who Bruce didn’t seek vengeance upon when Hulk came back
  • Due to his mutant abilities, he formally joins the X-Men, and is one of the Phoenix Five during AvX, but is the first one to be defeated and lose his Phoenix Force powers
  • Namor is killed by the Squadron Supreme in retaliation for his numerous attacks on Earth and other worlds, but this is undone by time travel after the team realized Namor’s murder would lead to global destruction
  • Fights the Agents of Atlas after Atlantis’ guardian dragon is stolen - after some battling, Namor & the agents come to an understanding, and then team up against the King in Black

• Issues - born of two worlds, welcome in neither

  • Mixed parentage creates hostility
  • Unique physiology leads to bipolar disorder, or at least manic/depressive swings
  • Zealotry for Atlanteans leads to issues with both his people as well as surface dwellers
• Break
  • Plugs for Last Sons of Krypton, Cheers to Comics, and Meghan Fitzmartin
• Treatment
  • In-universe -
  • Out of universe - Mixed race parentage
• Skit
  • Hello Namor, I’m Dr. Issues. - I am King Namor, ruler of Atlantis. I am not one of your colleagues, we are not fraternizing over a beverage. You will address me accordingly.
  • My apologies, your majesty…your highness…your Atlantean Majestic highness? I’m bad at this. -I gave you one job and yet you have failed. But I am a forgiving ruler, so you will get one more chance.
  • Thank you, King Namo…wait, you don’t rule me! -That is not the point. As long as you show the proper respect, and the appropriate decorum, then I have no quarrel with you.
  • Very well then. What does the mighty King of Atlantis have to gain from gracing the presence of a common land-dwelling human psychiatrist? -I would have thought that my message was delivered ahead of time. If not, then I will be forced to punish the one that failed to deliver said message, AND then I will have them re-send that message twice as fast the next time. There is no room for error in troubling times such as these.
  • So…what was the message? - That I, albeit one of the most important figures in existence, has made his mark on the world, yet still find challenges that can only be mastered through the guiding hand of one with the knowledge of the mind. You, my humble servant, are such a man.
  • Um…thanks? So, what can I help you with? -My people have respected me for so long that I worry they no longer fear me the way they should. There is no room for comfort when our world remains in great peril on all sides.
  • No offense but, that comes across a bit paranoid. -You wouldn’t say that if you have fought the battles we have fought. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
  • But why would you want fear instead of respect? Fear is the more primal response and that sounds…beneath you. -Fear can be harnessed. Respect is dormant, docile even.
  • Boy, you really have a hard edge. Do you ever relax? -I am capable of the finest travels in leisure only privy to those that would dare seek such an endeavor.
  • pause Such as… -That’s classified. It is beneath a man of my stature to, as you say, kiss and tell.
  • Oooooookaaaaay…are you always this obtuse? -There is no need to use such language! Remember your place amongst royalty.
  • pause You don’t know what that word means, do you? -pause The kingdom of Atlantis has no need for obscure vocabulary. We speak directly, we are a people of action.
  • All you’re talking about so far is your people. That’s nice, but the point of individual therapy is the individual. What do you want to change? -Nothing.
  • Then we’re done here. What’s the point? -You once again have a misguided approach. I am saying that I value consistency. Tradition. Honor. Or are those concepts too…obtuse for you to comprehend?
  • You want permanent, everlasting control of that which is important to you. -Now we are speaking the right language.
  • As a psychiatrist, I must inform you, King Namor of the Atlanteans, that I am in no position to make any such guarantee that our sessions will yield that result. - I see. You need to work on your delivery of sarcasm. It does not match any of my rivals for wit or passion.
  • You’re USED to people talking to you that way? Did you ever think that it’s because you get under the skin of every person you meet? -A pearl is made by an irritant of sand in an oyster’s mouth. And yet, not every oyster produces a pearl. My lot in life is to create more treasures of the sea. Why should I care if others are intolerable of my grit?
  • I’m not sure that’s a “lot” in life instead of a conscious choice. -pause That’s not a question.
  • I…don’t think I wanted it to be a question? Anyway, you’re blocking my attempts to understand your emotions, your thought process, and your values. What do you want from me? -Well, you haven't attempted to throw me out of your office yet, so that tells me you are more tolerant than most plebs. paper unfurls Here’s a list of every goal that is relevant to my success.
  • The first 50 of them are crossed off. You don’t need to show me those. -Then how will you know of my great achievements?
  • I agree -What?
  • quickly Nothing…now, you name at least 20 people here and simply have an exclamation point next to their names…except Sue, where you have a heart…but there are no details for any of them - I don’t need explanations; I know what they mean.
  • But I DON’T know what they mean! -That’s for you to decipher as we talk over the next 22 sessions
  • 22?! Aww man…um, why 22? -I have a full calendar of every in-person session and phone call that we’ll have so that you can’t say “I’m busy” at the last moment. Your online system is truly convenient.
  • Are you trying to make up for a lack of other attachments by putting more energy into me? -pause You say it like it’s a bad thing.
  • 15 minute…10 minute time limit - But I
  • interrupting and only 3 topics -You are in no position to
  • interrupting again plus if you are more than 5 minutes late I charge double -pause you are trying to create barriers. I see. But a king never yields. You WILL treat me and you WILL know my greatness. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go salvage a barren stretch of an unknown trench that you have never heard of but will save countless ocean creatures for the sake of Atlantean commerce. I’ll be sure to send you a private message when it concludes at…oh, about 4AM on your time scale.
  • heaviest sigh I look forward to it. - Now THAT was better.
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Sub-Mariner: The Depths
  • Next episodes: Mystique, Poison Ivy, Moira McTaggert
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Sue Storm episode - Anthony (11:34)
• Captain Planet - Anthony (12:38)
• Evil Overlord List - Anthony (14:10)
• Marx Brothers Duck Soup - Anthony (14:34)

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We sit down with mental health advocate & cofounder of We Matter Too, Dr. Ashley Perkins! We talk the pros & cons of social media, self-diagnosis, and more!

We Matter Too with Dr. Ashley Perkins

• Intro
• Background
  • Pharmacist
  • We Matter Too
  • TEDx Talk
• Ending

Transcript

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• Intro

• Background

  • TV work - Community writer - how’d you get in the writers room there?
  • American Dad

• MODOK

  • What came first, the TV series or the Head Games comic?
  • Decision to make this character a standard sitcom dad
• Minor Threats
  • How did you & Patton come up with the idea?
  • I always enjoy D-list villains as comic relief, like Superior Foes, but this takes it to a darker place
  • Is this ongoing or a mini?
  • How did you two come up with the various characters & powers to use
  • Playtime as the POV character
• Ending

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• Intro
• Background
• • Gambit, Remy Etienne LeBeau, created by Chris Claremont and Jim Lee in Uncanny X-Men #266 (Aug 1990)
  • You know how we've done a lot of characters whose circumstances have come back around to "it's not his fault, but it is his problem"? Gambit's definitely a twist on that. Let's run down the list. Kidnapped as an infant and raised by a society of thieves who brought him up with a moral compass that was most certainly not in line with the rest of the world, wound up homeless, captured by an immortal mutant and sold into slavery, got roped into an arranged marriage with Belladonna to end a centuries-old blood feud between the Thieves' Guild and the Assassin's Guild and wound up killing the brother of his bride-to-be in a duel on his wedding day, was exiled from his home in New Orleans, found out he had a mutant power that grew so powerful it wouldn't let him touch anything without blowing it up, had no choice but to go to Mr. Sinister to give him brain surgery to save his life, gets a simple innocuous job to do in return, assemble some mercenaries to locate the Morlock community, has no idea the mercenaries have orders to kill all the Morlocks
  • Encounters a powerless Storm, who brings him to meet the X-men - Logan didn't trust him, so the two had a duel, which Gambit won
  • Served as a X-Man for some time, until he was captured by Magneto and Sabretooth, and Rogue's kiss revealed the memory of the Morlock Massacre - the fallout led to him being kicked off the team
  • Later rejoined the team after Rogue went searching for him
  • After a battle with Destiny, he and Rogue were depowered, so they moved to California to explore their relationship
  • Both regained the powers and joined the X-men, but when Gambit was temporarily blinded, he began lashing out at Rogue, who left him
  • Mystique joined the team undercover as another shapeshifter, and revealed herself to Gambit as a version of Rogue that he could actually touch - although Rogue was angry, Gambit never pursued it
  • He submitted himself to Apocalypse in an effort to infiltrate the team, but the transformation brainwashed him, and he became the Fourth Horseman, Death - after Apocalypse's defeat, he is returned to normal with the help of Mr. Sinister
  • Yada yada yada, he & Rogue get married after Kitty backs out of her wedding to Colossus, and Gambit proposes on the spot - they spend their honeymoon protecting the bio-engineered daughter of Charles Xavier & Lilandra, and then get teleported to the Mojoverse, where they have to fight their way out for the amusement of Mojo & his viewers

• Issues

• • That is a lot of really bad luck for one person. But Gambit tortures and blames himself for way more of it than he should. He didn't want to fight Belladonna's brother, but was bound to by the traditions of the clans. He didn't want to leave Belladonna and New Orleans, but had to or there would be all-out war. He didn't want to get in bed with Mr. Sinister's, but he was the only person he knew that could save his life. He certainly didn't want to play any part in a genocide and tried everything he could to stop it when he was happening, but at the time, he genuinely believed the job was just to locate them. With regards to everything he did in his past, most of it is not his fault, and way less of it is his problem than the amount he tends to torture himself with. On a scale of zero to Cyclops, his moral culpability for the things he's done with his life doesn't even come close to the level of guilt he feels for it.
  • Second issue, deflection and evasiveness. Oh my goodness, Remy Labeau raises keeping people at arm's length with deflection and evasiveness to an absolute art form. And when you're a monument to male fanservice streetwise slick-talking bad boy with a mutant power that lets you kinetically excite the heart rate and neurotransmitters of other people and charm the metaphorical and often literal pants off of them, that is really not a hard thing to do. Remy is one of those people you can have a hours-long conversation with, tell all sorts of personal details, and walk away not even realizing he didn't tell you a single thing about himself. His teammates (Wolverine and Bishop in particular) are the wisest to the act and treat him with the most suspicion. But really, all of the X-Men know it to some extent. He's closer to some of them than others, everyone likes him, no one really seems to have a problem with having him on the team, but apart from Rogue, obviously, no one really implicitly trusts him, especially after the truth about his connection to Mr. Sinister and the Marauders comes out.
  • Third issue is related to the second one, Remy's own massive trust issues with other people. It's completely, 100% understandable given everything Remy went through in his childhood and teenage years that he'd be extremely wary about making himself vulnerable around anyone. It's a lot. The man didn't have the loving supportive upbringing most of us have. He's understandably a jaded cynical man who expects the worst from people until they show him otherwise. But the only person he's ever really, genuinely let into his life is Rogue, and it was a long, very rocky, and very painful road getting there. Gambit guards his heart tighter than Fort Knox, and seems very comfortable with the fact. (24:42)
• Break (32:51)
• • Plugs for Bedknobs & Broomflicks, Geek Peak, and Jeremy Whitley
• Treatment (Theme: Truth in Deception)
• • In-universe - I have to play games
  • Out of universe - Not really a stretch to find real-world equivalents to this man, I imagine most people who go to treatment can be intensely guarded and wary about sharing details about themselves. I imagine a lot of patients have things in their past they're not proud of and that they torture themselves with. I also imagine it can be like a chess match where one person is playing for a stalemate and trying to frustrate the other person into surrender when you're trying to get through to them. (37:22)
• Skit (49:02)
• • Hello Gambit, I’m Dr. Issues. - Bonjour, doc.
  • So, what can I help you with? -Nothing. pause haaaa, just joshin’, I figured you’d like that one.
  • playing straight Sometimes. -I was told you were cool.
  • Not exactly the life of the party, sorry. -pause Something’s off…whispers you wearing a wire or something? I can short it real quick
  • sigh No…no, I’ll admit, you’re right, but not for any nefarious reason. I was told things, too. - wary Nah, she told me she told you nothin’.
  • Not anything bad…this is tough. I’m being vague because lately I’ve been too loose in my descriptions of others, and in your case, I was told to keep quiet, but then I can’t discuss a relationship if I don’t talk about the other person, but THEY probably don’t want me telling everything, but I know that you know so…it’s complicated. -Cher? She knows better. If you tryin, I’m buyin. That’s why I’m here. She clearly only told you what you needed to know. Sorry for snappin like dat.
  • I’m trying to say that I’ve been told you value your privacy. I should have just done my usual introduction about confidentiality, but noooo, I had to play it off like I’m some sort of mastermind interrogator. I get like this when I don’t think someone will open up to me. -You got me in the door, that’s more than most. You ain’t comin round my parts anytime soon. I just got things on my mind.
  • Go ahead. -How do you get things out of your head without surgery?
  • pause Say again? -I don’t like talking about all of the…evil business, if you know what I mean. I just gotta get rid of it. So if Mister can’t get it done quick angry tone an he aint tryin again yahear! back to calm then I figured I should go to someone…of the mind, but not REALLY of the mind like Charles, c’est tou?
  • misunderstands I’m not sure I say anything…in fact, I tend to listen. -Nah I mean it’s simple. I need you to help me so I don’t let stuff I want to forget bother me so much. Or make me forget it. Either way, I’ll be happy.
  • If it were that simple, would you have gone through all of the effort to deal with it in the first place? -Touche
  • Anyway, your natural tendency seems to push things down, suppress them so much that it accomplishes the opposite effect; you don’t have the memory itself in your daily conscience, but the amount of energy necessary to keep it that way with even the tiniest reminder has to go somewhere. It builds up until -finishes the sentence Boom.. I know. Just like my powers. It’s funny how the physical and the mental come together like that. Synergy.
  • Psychosomatic -PsychoKinetic
  • simultaneuously PSYCHOSOMATOKINECTIC SYNERGY both laugh
  • trails off with laughter, then pause Man, I think we just added to the mental health lexicon. -Glad I could help. What else can I do for you?
  • Well work has been…wait, YOU want the help, not me. Why are you trying to make it sound like you’re giving me therapy? -I’m just trying to loosen you up. You’re so uptight, man. It’s good to see you laugh. You should do it more.
  • You realize that for you to make progress you’re not going to be able to rest on a good moment with a stranger as the ultimate win. -pause Worth a shot.
  • Alright, it’s obvious you came to that conclusion about your powers and your psyche a long time ago, and I gave it validation. You’re trying to play me like a puppet and just get along with you so I can rubber stamp your style. Don’t get me wrong…your style has flair, charm, and wit. But there has to be more. -Man, and I thought you had no gator in you, tryin’ a bite my head off. Look atcha! A real backbone.
  • I’m serious! exasperated are you always this…way? Just charming and conning your way through life? -It’s only a con if I don’t believe it.
  • So…you’re happy anyway. Then what’s the point of forgetting something that you’re now acting like it doesn’t bother you but then you said it’s what really does…I can’t play games like this… -You need a better poker face.
  • pause You know, I actually enjoy poker. The logic, probability, psychology, uncertainty…only way the story gets told is if at least two people are willing to see the hand through to the end. -That’s deep, really philosophical. You have a sharp mind on ya, doc.
  • And so do you. That’s why I know you’ll let me lose a few hands to you. -surprised You…what, you? Me? Play? belly laugh COME ON, you know you don’t want the smoke! You gonna lose your office, you ain’t careful. I figure it’s fake chips?
  • Yes. -All right, low stakes, I’m in. I hope you keep up with Omaha Hi-Lo because
  • interrupting Nope, you don’t choose, I choose. Blind man’s bluff. -So it’s just face reading, one card, on the forehead each, huh? Well…let’s see it.
  • sound of card shuffle Just to let you know, 2 rounds of betting. Each turn, you have to give me one fact about yourself. -Cool, because I’ll get to know you mo
  • interrupting and I don’t say anything. - pause that’s not fair. For real, that’s not FAIR! You can’t rig a game and expect me to play.
  • The real pot isn’t the chips; if you win, you can end the session, and never come back. After all, you wouldn’t want to hang out with a loser like me, right? -Bet. And if I lose?
  • I give you feedback on what may actually help you, because I’ll take your information as genuine. -So no matter what, if I play this the way that I want, I’ll get what I want, even if I lie and it hurts? Laissez les bon temps roulez.
  • Funny how that works out. -sound of chips All in, no second bet. pause Fact for the only round is, if I didn’t trust her, you would see you put the equivalent of a bomb in my hands.
  • immediate Call. And…I had a Queen -Jack. annoyed grunt, pause you would have called with anything, right? Even with a threat like that?
  • What threat? It was the truth. And yes, I would have. -snaps fingers see, I KNEW it. You have too many tells.
  • I guess we have a lot to learn from each other. Want to call the next game? - We really gonna make this a thing, huh?
  • Only if you’re willing to be a regular at the table -Better than a couch, you can bet on that
  • pause Huh, I thought you’d say “I guarantee” or something -Doc, no Cajun says that. ‘Cept mebbe Justin Wilson, res’ his soul.
• Ending
• • Recommended reading: Mr. & Mrs. X, or any of the Rogue & Gambit minis
  • Next episodes: Mystique, Poison Ivy, Namor
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Rogue episode - Anthony (6:26)
• Colossus episode - Anthony (8:12)
• Mojo episode - Anthony (8:34)
• Frequency illusion - Anthony (14:06)
• Cast Away - Doc (26:38)

Transcript

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Issue 157 - Doctor Fate

• Intro
  • Lots of good stuff coming for Patrons in the next few weeks

• Background

  • Doctor Fate, Kent Nelson, created by Gardner Fox and Howard Sherman in More Fun Comics #55 (May 1940)
  • Kent Nelson is on an archaeological dig with his father Sven when they accidentally awaken an ancient Sumerian God, Nabu the Wise- the chamber was filled with poisonous gas, which kills Sven - Nabu pities Kent and trains him in magic for 20 years before Kent returns to the US and begins operating as a superhero
  • Wearing the Helmet of Nabu, he gains incredible magic power, although it is revealed that Nabu is often in control of his body while wearing the helmet
  • He later creates a half-helmet to retain greater control, although it costs him some power
  • One of the founding members of the original Justice Society of America in 1940, he later retires and focuses on being a physician alongside his wife Inza
  • In the 1980s, Inza committed suicide, but Nabu wouldn’t allow Kent to die until he found a successor, which he did (not getting into Eric Strauss and all the problems therein) - at which point Nabu granted him peace and let him die
  • Kent & Inza are resurrected into younger bodies, and Inza operates as Doctor Fate for a time, before the two battle Extant, who rapidly ages Kent & Inza to their “proper” bodies - they find Jared Stevens, who becomes the new Doctor Fate, and Kent & Inza die and enter a dimension in Jared’s amulet

• Issues - theme is cost of magic

  • Nabu constantly controlling his body
  • Losses of Inza
  • What’s really the point of magic?
• Break
  • Plugs for Talk Me Into, Ignorance Was Bliss, and Saladin Ahmed
• Treatment
  • In-universe
  • Out of universe
• Skit
  • Hello Kent, I’m Dr. Issues. -Hello, doctor.
  • So, what can I help you with? -I should be able to tell you that.
  • What does that mean? -You’re aware of my…condition?
  • Ah…that name’s a bit on the nose, isn’t it? -You’re one to talk!
  • laughs I’ve always wanted to be on the other end for once. Forgive me. -As much as it may amuse you, I’ll admit I’m not one for small talk.
  • Neither am I…usually. For some reason, I’m a bit more loose than usual, and I don’t even know you. pause that’s telling. I’m not sure what. - I’m used to others obfuscating their motives for some other time, but not when they consider themselves an ally. Is there something you’re looking to avoid?
  • This isn’t supposed to be about me. The longer we talk about my own iss…mindset, the less time we have to address yours. So, to get back to your original point, no, I don’t want to know anything about my future. - phew Glad I don’t have to put on the helmet, then.
  • Were you purposely flipping to questions on me because you thought I’d want that? -That’s what most people want. They think magic is part of a whimsical show. But the realms of gods are deadly serious. A whimsical ask for lottery numbers leads to the knowledge that their cousin will soon fall ill. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow…they all stain the face the same.
  • How morbid -Again, from what I know, you’re casting stones from a glass house.
  • Gallows humor is a well known defense mechanism. I know where mine comes from. What about yours? -I never implied humor. You have your own lens to view the world. I tend towards stoicism. Face reality for what it is, and it will never harm you.
  • Then you are also aware that reality can bring wonderment, enthusiasm, passion as well? I think your helmet is your way of physically manifesting a protection from the worst, but it may also limit your best. -The civilizations that have been saved would disagree.
  • I’m sure they disagree. Do you? -pause What if I told you it’s not me? Well, not ALL me.
  • sigh I have done this enough times to take a hint. Who then, if it’s safe to tell? -You’re going to think I’m crazy, that I have multiple personalities or someth…
  • interrupting NO LABELS, ahem Please. It’s too quick to cast such judgements, and I’d never use that kind of language. Heck, I’ve even had sessions with someone who deals with ancient gods granting power in exchange for loyalty. -pause And to think, I figured this was a unique scenario
  • OH YOU GOT TO BE KID…deep breaths, chantingmagnets draw metal because they are strong, magnets draw metal, because they are strong…sorry, I have a mantra I use to re-center myself. Every situation is a new opportunity to enhance a mystical being’s…attitude? Psyche? Aura? I don’t know what the proper terms are. -This may be forward, but it is clear to me that you have only been on the receiving end of magical influence. You are hindered by what is instinctually unfamiliar. I may have a way to assist your comprehension.
  • I enjoy reading new things, as long as there’s a decent English translation. -The process is not done through theory alone. I may not cast spells on myself, but if I know that it will be used on another
  • Whoa whoa whoa…I’ve spent my career telling people to limit their use of a surrogate, and you’re inviting me to jump in? Nope. Uh-uh. No way! -The best analogue I can think of is guided meditation, doctor.
  • pause Safe word is “screwdriver,” got it? -If you say so. magical sound effect this is a facsimile of my own helmet, since you wouldn’t be able to wear my own. You’ll have an opportunity for just a piece of my existence.
  • low tonal droning sound Ugh, my head…it’s like…a 3D game set fire to my eyes - Nabu that is clarity beyond typical sight. If you are not of pure mind, then your soul will be destroyed in a matter of seconds. You have bent your mortal form to the whims of Nabu for the good of the universe. This is no small sacrifice.
  • I’m…not…dying? I figured he just tricked me to knock me out or something. -Nabu Kent Nelson and his wife have long been sacrificial lambs for the world. You are joining esteemed company, if that is any consolation. Indeed, you appear to have an unwavering motivation to aide those around you, but you must let go of your modest approach.
  • groan Oh wow, I can really help here. You’ve been ignored for too long - That’s absurd! No one has ignored a Lord of Order without consequence.
  • Oh, I think you’re wro…underestimating your vulnerability. You have too often neglected kindness for weakness. Act after long delays because of impulse. I can do something that no one else has offered. I can listen. -Nabu I have travelled for eons, battled entities that have no name, and even at your miniscule level guided the pharoahs for centuries. What makes you any different from the countless visceral vessels I have utilized though epochs of the unknown?
  • Try me. Tell me all of the frustrations you’ve had since existence, and I’ll be right there, with every word you say. -pause, still as Nabu Sometimes, I really miss Cilia. That’s the home world…well, we were around well before the world, of course, but have to start somewhere, right? Anyway, the fellow Lords are way more petty than you can imagine clock ticking, clearly different topic …and that’s why human ears have a tragus
  • Wow, I haven’t used that term since medical school anatomy class. This is amazing! - genuine surprise I have been trying to demonstrate the futility of human history and yet you still stand there enraptured. What manner of magic are you sourcing? I have never been in the presence of such…patient warmth.
  • Told you so -I only know of scripture that describes human life lasting this long.
  • What? -You have been listening to me for…the colloquial term is a millenia.
  • WHAAAAAAT? My life, my family…I didn’t mean… -pause, then laughter Oh man, I can’t believe you fell for that. I had a temporal spell cast.
  • Oh, so it’s only been, what, felt like 2 or 3 hours, maybe? -No it was a millenia. I just protected you outside of time itself. I’ll place you back into your office, in your own time, as soon as you use the helmet. cracks his neck ahhhh, you know, that really was worthwhile. Kent shall know of your ability to help him. For now, I shall leave you to your devices.
  • Good, because I’ve had enough of youuuuuuurrrrOH MY GOD -Kent oh good, you’re back. I hope you don’t mind, I called for dinner while you were…preoccupied. Thanks for saving the world, by the way.
  • I just listened to the voice of the universe and you’re talking about saving the world? -Oh yeah, that’s the prototype half-helmet I had a while ago. I didn’t remember anything Nabu did, but he had carte blanche. On the other end though, he would yell at me and said I just complained a lot. But I guess you two got along better, eh? You even had this ominous “I am Doctor Issues” voice and cast some spells I never knew existed. You got a whole terrorist cell to surrender and do community service to boot!
  • Pause did I have a cool uniform? -Eh, too much of a black and blue theme. Plus you destroyed any photo or video instantaneously.
  • That…sounds like something I’d do. Anyway…I don’t know how to tell you this, but I don’t think I can -I have my other helmet, I’m good. Say no more. I really wanted Nabu to get the help, anyway. Maybe now he’ll show more respect because you proved humanity’s worth in a different way. Keep it. If he wants another session, trust me, he’ll let you know. Goodbye, doctor. door shuts
  • cryingI DIDN’T GET TO ASK ABOUT MEGA MILLIONS!
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Doctor Fate Vol. 2 - although mostly about the Strauss’s, Kent Nelson features heavily in many stories
  • Next episodes: Gambit, Mystique, Poison Ivy
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Scott Steiner - Anthony (2:20)
  • Steiner Math
• David Copperfield & the Statue of Liberty - Anthony (39:36)

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• Intro
  • Kickstarter campaign for Issue 1 - Sept 20
• Jasen
  • How did you get started in comics?
  • How did you meet up with Allen & Will?
  • How does colorist get involved in creative process?
  • What inspiration do you use when coloring?
• Allen/Will
  • How did you differentiate this story from other slashers?
  • How do you foreshadow within the story?
  • How many issues is this?
  • Kickstarter bonuses
  • When’s the next Pocus Hocus story?

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• Intro
  • More full recap in the catch-up episode
  • Long & short - dropped BetterHelp, joined GonnaGeek, started a TikTok
  • New Patrons - Mayors Allison & Birju, and Humble Citizen Joshua

• Background

  • Invisible Woman (Susan Storm) created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby in The Fantastic Four #1 (Nov 1961)
  • Sue Storm is a founding member of the Fantastic Four - hit by cosmic rays during a space flight, and gained the power to turn invisible
  • She and her brother Johnny grew up on Long Island - after their mother accidentally died in a car accident, their father became an alcoholic who went to prison for accidentally killing a loan shark
  • Sue met her future husband Reed Richards when she was a young girl - when she got older, she met Reed again and they connected, eventually dating prior to the spaceflight
  • As a member of the FF, Sue is originally meek and withdrawn, her invisibility only coming in handy to help the team when stealth is needed - she goes by the codename Invisible Girl
  • She later discovers she can project invisible force fields, and with this new power comes a new self-confidence
  • She and Reed get married, and she becomes pregnant with a child, Franklin - she leaves the team, and Johnny’s girlfriend (the Inhuman Crystal) joins the team in her place
  • The other team members travel to the Negative Zone to acquire the Cosmic Control Rod to help with Sue’s pregnancy, since her irradiated body makes carrying a child difficult - after Franklin’s birth, Annilhilus releases Franklin’s full powerset - to protect the world, Reed shuts down Franklin’s mind, causing Sue to leave him #BecauseComics
  • They later reconcile with the help of Namor the Sub-Mariner, a romantic foil for Sue
  • Sue’s second pregnancy is stillborn, and her ensuing depression leads Psycho-Man to manipulate her into becoming Malice, Mistress of Hate - after Reed manipulates her into hating him legitimately, Psycho-Man’s control is broken, and Sue puts him into a coma - the situation has a lasting impact on Sue, who changes her name to Invisible Woman, as the innocence within her died
  • Sue takes over the FF during Reed’s apparent death - he was time-displaced, and Sue’s love for him never wavered despite entreaties from Namor
  • The team encounters Valeria Von Doom, a being from an alternate future who is the child of Sue & Dr. Doom - Franklin later admits that after Sue’s stillbirth, he created an alternate world where the child survived - Valeria is recreated as a baby in Sue’s womb, and Dr. Doom assists in the childbirth - she is named Valeria after Victor’s first true love #BecauseComics
  • During Secret Invasion, she is kidnapped and taken out by Lyja, Johnny’s ex-wife, who then posed as Sue to infiltrate the Baxter Building - Sue was rescued after the Invasion was turned back
  • Secret Wars - On a ship trying to escape the Incursion, Sue and the entire FF minus Reed were killed when the ship was ripped apart - when Reed gained the Beyonders’ ability after God Emperor Doom was defeated, he resurrected everyone who was killed, including his family
  • Current runs

• Issues - Theme is Being noticed

  • Jeanine - Being a strong woman in a male-dominated field & family
  • Jeanine - Working with significant other & brother
  • Philosophy/Psychology behind invisibility
• Break
  • Plugs for Play Comics, Popcorn Psychology, and Howard Mackie
• Treatment
  • In-universe - Give someone else power of invisibility, so Sue can see what it’s like to be on the other side
  • Out of universe -
• Skit (feat. Lauren from Legends of SHIELD)
  • DOC: Hello Sue, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • SUE: Hello, doctor, thanks for taking the time to speak with me.
  • DOC: So, what can I do for you today?
  • SUE: Anything that you consider important would be a big help to me.
  • DOC: That’s rather flattering, but I don’t typically take the lead in a session unless it’s absolutely necessary.
  • SUE: That’s a change for me. I usually have to pick and choose my spots depending on what’s going on by the hour.
  • DOC: Don’t we all. I don’t discriminate amongst topics, but the most common are relationships, work, family…feel free to interject
  • SUE: I could write a book on all of those at this point. But, for the sake of simplicity, let’s start with my husband. sigh
  • DOC: Was that a sigh of how much you love him, or being exasperated with him?
  • SUE: half statement/half question Both…? Reed is…well, I do my homework, so I know you’ve met Reed…of a kind.
  • DOC: Yessss, yes. He was…eccentric
  • SUE: You’re being kind for no reason. He’s a narcissist. You can say it.
  • DOC: But that Reed was trying to take over the universe
  • SUE: And mine is always trying to save it. Doesn’t change the personality traits. pause And still, I know he loves me. He doesn’t stray, he doesn’t look to complain, and he’s brilliant. Who am I to argue?
  • DOC: Based on your description, you may be placing your emotional responses secondary to the idealistic view of your bond. That’s difficult.
  • SUE: It’s harder now because I handle things differently. I used to acquiesce to his whims, but I don’t need to do that anymore. I’m not subservient. I can hold my own. But…sometimes it gets one-sided. I can find ways to make him the center of my world, but he doesn’t do the same. That’s not fair.
  • DOC: Indeed. I won’t disagree with that. Do you have some way to cope with something that’s gone on this long, or are you actually looking to change along with him? Maybe a couples sess
  • SUE: interrupting NO. No…look, no offense, but I think any couples session you would try with both of us would end up looking at things from his view because that’s just how things work.
  • DOC: Fair enough.
  • SUE: If only he could…nevermind, that’s dangerous.
  • DOC: What?
  • SUE: See…I’ve had a perspective about my love with him that’s unbreakable at this point. I’m not saying it to boast, but we’ve been tested repeatedly. I’m not going to waste my breath…ugh, why am I waffling about this?
  • DOC: I dunno, if it’s about wanderlust
  • SUE: Namor.
  • DOC: pause Huh. Well, then. This is a rare time that I must acknowledge I have no personal knowledge of that person, but
  • SUE: interrupting I’m sure at this point he’d be considered a stalker in every sense of the word, and I don’t think restraining orders are effective against a guy like that. But he won't DO anything if I don’t allow it…have you ever heard of “what-if?” He burns that into anyone’s soul he comes across.
  • DOC: So I should delete this unsolicited email that says “URGENT MATTER RE: SAVING SUE FROM A MUNDANE LIFE PLEASE OPEN IMMEDIATELY FOR THE GOOD OF THE WORLD” ?
  • SUE: That sounds on brand. Any opportunity to woo me, even if it’s meant to be a confidential situation.
  • DOC: You seem unphased by that. I’m legitimately concerned for the wellbeing of you and the ones you love!
  • SUE: Ugh, you too? Please. A word of advice from the one considered the client: I’ve done this for a long time. You don’t have to protect me. I’m sure it comes from a place of decency, but I’d rather have a sense of respect.
  • DOC: Point taken. I concede that you must be an expert negotiator and clearly not a hostage. I think there’s something underlying that.
  • SUE: Plenty of practice. Love and loss, doctor. Love and loss…and war.
  • DOC: Loss and war? Ouch. What’s that about?
  • SUE: If you don’t mind, the loss part…let’s not go there right now.
  • DOC: OK, what about war?
  • SUE: I’ve hinted that I can deal with men fighting as the lone woman in the room. Well, it’s easier when it’s over me. The challenge is when everyone else is picking their own battles and I’m expected to choose sides.
  • DOC: My bias is to pick my own side, but I know that doesn’t work for everyone. Who are you referencing?
  • SUE: You know more than you think. You met Ben, right?
  • DOC: Nice guy. Really smart. Self deprecating
  • SUE: Ahhhh, so you were willing to cut to the heart of who he is but not Reed? Anyway, he tends to get into it with my brother. A Lot.
  • DOC: I’m sure it’s just
  • SUE: HE CRUMPLED JOHNNY’S CAR INTO A BALL AFTER JOHNNY SHOT A FIREBALL INTO HIS FACE.
  • DOC: That….yeah, that’s intense. And you all work together? If I may
  • SUE: rapid-fire, as though she’s run through this list numerous times If you ask about splitting up, keeping distance, having a mediator, finding methods to nullify powers, go into other planes of existence, seek some sort of magical conduit to channel a better life, or fight to the death (I’d WIN, by the way) then you are barking up the wrong tree.
  • DOC: You came up with all of that much quicker than I would have anticipated. I don’t know if that’s due to imaginative emotional catharsis or…uh…I’ll just stick with that.
  • SUE: Thank you. The point is, it’s a challenge to deal with. And don’t get me started on parenting. It seems like I’m the only one that considers the details, but everyone else wants to just look at the big picture.
  • DOC: They get the highlights, you get the unedited blooper reel. Got it.
  • SUE: Spot on! So…what do I do about it? All of it?
  • DOC: Please take this with the kind nature that I’m relaying…with all due respect…in the nicest way...all things considered…
  • SUE: Spill it
  • DOC: I HAVE NO CLUE! You have just told me an incredibly complex dynamic of lifetime egos looking to coexist while leaning on you for servicing their physical and spiritual needs at the highest level, and you’ve not only survived, but in some way THRIVED despite all of this. I can be your vent man. I can look for blind spots, or should I say invis
  • SUE: You’re on a roll, don’t ruin it
  • DOC: Sorry. The point is, I can offer an outside perspective that coaches you towards self-actualization rather than a pill pusher that is trying to find problems. Maybe you needed to hear that. I don’t know.
  • SUE: pause You’re serious about that?
  • DOC: Yes!
  • SUE: Just do me a favor then.
  • DOC: What’s that?
  • SUE: sound of phone notification Here’s a separate email address to forward any of Namor’s…nonsense. Trust me. It’s better to have a log so I don’t have to repeat myself. This stuff happens in real time.
  • DOC: shudders
• Ending (64:16)
  • Recommended reading: Any FF run, or the Invisible Woman miniseries by Mark Waid
  • Next episodes: Gambit, Mystique, Poison Ivy
  • Review read: Lizardprince222 - Found this show at the beginning of the pandemic. It quickly became my Wednesday morning ritual. Not only is this podcast entertaining and comics focused. It is also a fun opportunity for introspective moments. Anthony & Doc Issues put in so much time and dedication into this podcast and it shows with every episode. 100/10 would recommend.
  • Plugs for social

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Before next week's Season 8 premiere, Anthony & Doc reveal some changes coming to the episodes moving forward! If you want to get the inside scoop on how things will look & sound, listen now!

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In conjunction with a giveaway by SmartCrutchUSA, we talk to the hilarious Tee Franklin, writer of Harley Quinn: The Animated Series comic book, and the upcoming Edge of the Spider-Verse #4!

Details on the giveaway can be found here!

In the interest of getting this out quickly to make sure we meet the deadline for the giveaway, this episode has minimal editing - forgive us for the raw sound, but we wanted to get this in your ears before it's too late!

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We're breaking hiatus (and on a Friday no less!) to bring you an interview with Allen & Will, creators of the incredible Pocus Hocus! Issue 4 is now available on Kickstarter - listen now, and then back this project!

• Intro
  • Kickstarter campaign for Issue 4 - June 28

• Background

  • Recap Issues 1-3
  • Pocus & Emily in hell, seeking souls to get Pocus out of his contract with the demon
  • Emily turns out to be VERY proficient with knives
  • Demons work like TWD zombies - cannot smell if covered in blood
  • Moral: always be nice to animals

• Issue 4

  • Screws start getting put to characters
  • One of the creepiest character designs I’ve ever seen - Guillermo del Toro would be proud
• Kickstarter incentives
  • Horus in Hell
• Grandma Chainsaw
  • Genesis of story?
  • How to differentiate from other horror stories with similar beginning

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• Introduction
• Topic - Validity of mental health advice on social media
  • Dangers of following “mental health professionals”
  • Spread of false diagnoses
  • Desire for teens/YA to find in-groups and places to belong
  • Dangers of self-diagnosis and looking for hashtags to “share”
• Solutions?

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We end Season 7 with BEAST BOY! A wild therapy session, plus a touching tribute to the late George Perez - listen now!

• Intro
  • Appropriate doing this episode in the wake of George Perez’s passing
  • Season finale - apologies for no episode last week

• Background

  • Beast Boy (Garfield Mark Logan) created by Arnold Drake and Bob Brown in The Doom Patrol #99 (Nov. 1965)
  • Garfield Logan was living with his parents in Africa when he contracted an illness that was lethal to every species except the West African green monkey - his parents attempted to turn him into a monkey for 24 hours to let the disease run its course, but the experiment gave him the ability to transform into any animal, but he retained green pigment skin/fur
  • His parents die, and he’s court appointed to a villain who wants to use his powers - he is rescued by the Doom Patrol, and he joins their ranks for a time
  • Later joins the Titans West, and then joins the New Teen Titans - renames himself Changeling
  • As a member of the Titans, he had a relationship with Terra which ended when she revealed she was working for Deathstroke
  • After Donna Troy’s death, he forms a new Titans team with Cyborg & Starfire, but the team is beaten by Superboy-Prime
  • He begins a relationship with Raven, but after they break up he leaves the team and rejoins the Doom Patrol
  • Reintroduced in the New 52 as a member of the Ravagers, with red fur instead of his usual green due to connection to a extradimensional power source called The Red
  • Is in a relationship with Terra once again, but after a battle with Deathstroke leaves him near death, he is rescued by Raven, who then mind controls him in a war against her father #BecauseComics
  • In Rebirth, he once again joins the Titans, and is in a relationship with Raven

• Issues

  • Ariel - where does his obsessive wisecracking come from? - Facade used to hide inner pain from loss
  • Ariel - explain his relationship with Raven (14:11)
  • Inferiority complex (25:06)
• Break (37:47)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Scotch N Sports, and Howard Mackie
• Treatment - Theme is evolution (39:45)
  • In-universe - He has to change each session and explain why
  • Out of universe - (42:32)
• Skit (50:42)
  • Hello Garfield, I’m Dr. Issues. - Please, call me Beast Boy…but I’m aaaaaall man, if you catch my drift.
  • That’s…um…incredibly awkward. You don’t have to prove anything to me. - That’s right, I don’t. Now if you’ll excuse me I
  • Wait, we haven’t started yet. -But I proved my point. I can do my own thing and get whatever I want, when I want. I don’t need a doctor to tell me how to feel.
  • Good, because I don’t do that. -Alright then.
  • pause Soooo…are you going to actually answer anything I say with a real answer and not just find a way to shrug it off? - Maybe. How much?
  • My typical fee is - interrupting No, how much do you pay ME to put up with you being boring?
  • You don’t even know me! -You did a lot of school, right?
  • Yes, but -interrupting and you think you’re pretty smart, right?
  • I don’t brag -same pace I bet to have an office like this, you have a lot of money coming your way, too.
  • That’s none of your -last time But am I wrong?
  • pause I can’t remember the last time somebody tried to boil my essence down to bare bones stereotypes without a single hint of who I truly am. Let’s try this the other way. You’re a living being, right? - Yeah.
  • You’re a superhero, correct? -Sure
  • You’re incredibly desperate for attention, obviously -I wouldn’t say
  • interrupting And you’re probably single, I take it - That’s not
  • same pace Plus you have weird ears - Low blow, man
  • same pace And I I don’t know what’s up with your voice -angry STOP!
  • I’m just matching tit-for-tat -No, NO, you’re just trying to be a bully.
  • And yet, like you said, was I wrong? What’s the difference between what you did and what I did? -I was trying to pump you up, so you’d leave me alone. Instead you made it sound like I was making fun of you. There's a huge difference, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t think we should talk anymore.
  • What if I told you that I failed at mimicking your style because it’s unique? Does it sound more like a compliment? Plus, I enjoy being weird. -But that doesn’t excuse busting my chops about being lonely sometimes!
  • I didn’t say you were lonely, just desperate for attention. -pause I don’t get it.
  • You sound like the life of the party. Do you have friends? -Yeah.
  • Do you have an intimate relationship - Whoa, whoa, I don’t go around telling bedtime stories. Let’s just say, my name suits me.
  • Oh brother…So anyway, you have friends and close relationships, but you still said I cracked wise about being lonely. That doesn’t match up. How can you think that way even when you put so much energy out there to get people to like you? -They like me because I’m entertaining…no revelation there.
  • sigh I’m talking about from YOUR side, though. Something is in your schtick that wants to be on all of the time. That usually means the person is hiding pain or sadness. Which is it? - pause I guess both.
  • How long can you keep up that act? -It’s not an act, alright? I really am this awesome!
  • Asking a different way…how long do you stay in your basic form without turning into something else? - I’unno, I don’t do it unless there’s a reason to.
  • So why do you do it with personal interactions? -pause You’re really pushing this as a “thing,” aren’t you?
  • It’s what I do. -Alright, here goes morphing sound
  • What are you doing? -Hold on…almost
  • screaming MY OFFICE CAN’T FIT - elephant trumpet I guess we’ll have to address things my way.
  • angry YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BECOME THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM! - I figured we could stop using metaphors.
  • muffled I can’t even write my notes down - Guess you’ll just have to…use your memory
  • You are not permitted to use any more elephant jokes -morphs again How about this then?
  • A gorilla…how droll. Let me guess, you weigh 800 pounds? -No, just 790. I had to get a little weight off of my shoulders
  • I swear you are going to drive me bananas. Quit monkeying around and we can actually get somewhere. -No need to go ape over this.
  • You are beyond annoying now. Please stop. -But you’re playing into the puns yourself.
  • It’s a reflex and it’s gotten me into some trouble. If you relax for a moment, I’ll let you in on a secret. Humor is my main defense mechanism because the world is a tough place, and I don’t know if I would survive without levity. I play into jokes more than any psychiatrist I know because it’s my comfort zone. But sometimes I go too far, and I make those that love me pissed off because I had to learn when to stop and hear them without pre-loading a retort. So I’m leveling with you…from a professional stranger…pump the brakes once in a while so you can appreciate the sadder things in life more. Cry, ponder, just for a little bit. Otherwise you’ll notice that others are experiencing things on a deeper level and you’ll always miss out. - pause Dude, you really are a nerd.
  • Thank you! Now can you just be Beast Boy? -morphing sound Call me Gar.
  • Okay then. pause yo, for real, those puns were on point. -I KNEW IT!
  • Don’t let it go to your head. Willing to talk again? -Sure, whatever. But you’re not, like, TRYING to make me cry or something, right?
  • My old motto used to be “If you ain’t cryin, I ain’t tryin’ “ - Glad you didn’t use a bummer like that! See you around.
• Ending (57:06)
  • Recommended reading: New Teen Titans
  • Next episodes: Mental Health Avengers
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Scarlet Witch episode - Anthony (2:48)
• Terra episode - Anthony (5:39)
• Donna Troy episode - Anthony (5:48)
• Cyborg episode - Anthony (5:55)
• Starfire episode - Anthony (5:57)
• Superboy Prime episode - Anthony (6:01)
• Allen Iverson practice rant - Anthony (33:45)

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Following the release of Dr. Strange 2, we talk the Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximoff! Chaos reigns throughout the episode, including an engaging discussion about the need to get help. You won't want to miss this one!

• Intro
  • Shoutout to Mr. Stoto’s AP Psychology class at St. Joseph’s School

• Background (4:49)

  • Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff) created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in The X-Men #4 (March 1964)
  • Originally, she & her twin brother Pietro were members of Magneto’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants in an effort to rule humanity
  • Originally her power was merely “hex magic”, where she could manifest bad luck to those trying to harm her - later changed to chaos magic, which made her more powerful and able to control all manner of probabilities
  • She later joined the Avengers, where she met and fell in love with Vision - listen to our WandaVision episode for more on that
  • Her parentage has changed several times over the years - originally she & Pietro were Romani, born to human parents - then they were adopted by the Maximoffs from the High Evolutionary - then they were the children of the Whizzer & Miss America - then they were Magneto’s kids - then they weren’t mutants, and were the result of the High Evolutionary’s experiments - then they were the children of the previous Scarlet Witch, and their adoptive parents were actually their aunt & uncle #BecauseComics
  • Had two children, Billy & Tommy, with Vision - later revealed they were magic creations using pieces of Mephisto’s soul, and they vanished - the memories later vanished, only to be triggered by Janet van Dyne - Wanda sought revenge against the Avengers, and this led to Disassembled and House of M, where she had a breakdown and used her chaos magic to eliminate almost all mutant powers from the world
  • After several years as an outcast, she later joins with Hope Summers, and the two combine their powers to destroy the Phoenix Force and restore the mutant X-gene to the global population
  • This led to her becoming an enemy of the state on Krakoa, although she later redeemed herself by sacrificing her life to enable Cerebro to find all mutants and bring them to Krakoa

• Issues (7:55)

  • Her relationship with her children - how she kept losing them, and then when they’re there, physically, she feels uncomfortable around them
  • Her relationship with Magneto & Pietro (19:36)
  • Not so much an issue as it is a question - There’s a What If with Jessica Jones where she joins Avengers as a SHIELD liaison, and most of the major events happen as they would, except Wanda hides her children in a closet before Jessica showed up, and because of that Jessica gets her help, and so Disassembled never happens - talk about how hard it is to get help, or the right kind of help (29:35)
• Break (46:21)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Freudian Sips, and Meredith Finch
• Treatment (48:15)
  • In-universe - Give Wanda a fixed place that she can always go to
  • Out of universe - Family therapy - use the chain/rope technique to help improve the dynamic
• Skit
  • Hello Wanda, I’m Dr. Issues. - Hello, Doctor. I want to be upfront: I understand the need to be here, and I even agree with the assessment that this will be helpful. But that doesn’t mean I’m eager to undergo a deep analysis on every single decision I’ve made over the course of my life.
  • That’s understandable, especially since neither one of us would have time to do that. My job is to make sure you find out what works for you to deal with how those events have shaped who you are now. Unfortunately, that does mean we’ll have to talk about uncomfortable things once in a while. So, I’ll let you start with what feels most challenging for you. Anything come to mind? - Is it cheating to say everything? I’m not being flippant, but I have a litany of items that would fit that description, and to choose any individual one would feel like closing my eyes and tossing a dart. Sometimes I really feel like the personification of chaos, magic or otherwise.
  • I can respect that. If I may suggest then, that we start by narrowing it down to a sphere of your life. For example, personal development, or a specific relationship? - Let’s stay away from the relationships to start. I have too many demons in too many relationships to jump into that at the beginning, and frankly, no offense, I’m not sure you could stomach some of the things I would describe to you.
  • You’d be surprised at what I would be able to handle; and when it’s necessary, I also consult someone to make sure I process things as best I can. Anyway, I’ll take the lead then, since I suggested personal development. You mentioned chaos. Is it a matter of behavioral disorganization, inattention, procrastination, emotional disruption, or… - interrupting You could continue to give descriptions and I would just automatically say yes to everything at some point. So even narrowing it down that way does me no service. That’s my point, Doctor. The mere act of trying to pick a starting point is overwhelming. It’s like drinking from a fire hose.
  • Whenever a patient tells me that, I know to start with basic needs. How are you sleeping? How’s your appetite? Are you able to manage your daily tasks for your own survival? -Irritated I’m not a simpleton, Doctor! I manage those things just fine! Maybe some bad dreams, but…no, that’s not something we should delve into.
  • On the contrary, dreams can tell a lot! I will admit my limitations, but I may be able to help parse out what small tidbits could be beneficial to address. - The world of my dreams is far more dangerous than I could make you understand. The unconscious mind attempts to make sense of what the conscious mind cannot, but I fear it fares no better. In either case I am left confused and am no closer to an explanation.
  • That is quite literally what I can offer you. You want an honest external attempt at clarity, I’m your doctor. -Once again, with all due respect, but there may be some other doctor who can manage that realm…
  • interrupting Without giving too much away, let’s just say we have a working understanding, albeit a bit…odd… - Odd? Or strange?
  • You are perceptive. I guess that’s my coy way of saying…try me. What about those dreams? - OK, you want me to describe just one of my average dreams?
  • For starters, yes. Just give me one that you recall vividly. - Fine. I am in a beautiful field, surrounded by mountains. There is a woman nearby with the head of a cow.
  • Alright, that could symbolize - interrupts That’s not a symbol, that is Bova. She is the woman who raised me.
  • Oh. OK, please continue. - She hands me two infants swaddled in blankets. I hold them, and the children smile at me for a moment. They are beautiful boys. Until they both point at me and begin crying.
  • Interesting. Are the children yours? I didn’t ask you about that before so -interrupts I don’t…think we need to get to that right now. May I continue?
  • Yes, go on. - They are crying, and then they start shouting at me that I am not real. That I don’t belong here. That this shouldn’t be happening. sound effects begin That dark forces are aligning because of what I have done.
  • I want to know more, but could you keep the room the way it was, please? Because my office -ignoring the doctor The dark forces aren’t demons or magical creatures, they are my friends, or who I thought were friends and teammates. They are conspiring against me. They know what I can do, they are afraid. I am afraid. They are trying to stop this.
  • Stopping this right now doesn't sound too bad… - ignoring again My father is there. Or he’s supposed to be my father, but he has another face, and yet I recognize him as my father. He is leading the charge. I try to stop him, but my hands will not move. My fingers ball into fists, and instead of using them for magic I begin assaulting myself. I don’t want to, and yet I feel like I deserve it.
  • Doesn’t take a degree to get that last part…but there’s a problem because it feels like something is hitting ME when you say that, so I think there’s some magic going on anyway. Perhaps in a DIFFERENT session we can… - My fists finally open, and so does the sky, and it begins to rain blood and screams. I can barely protect myself from this, and the screams get louder. I hear fallen teammates, I hear children, I hear my ex-husband. All of them asking things of me, making demands I cannot meet. The blood covers me and yet I am not wet. I begin to cry, and my tears also scream at me for releasing them.
  • Getting a little exhausted here. I didn’t know walls could melt without LSD or psilocybin, but here we are. How am I supposed to paint with my own skin? Wait, that didn’t make sense. How do you stop this? - The screams reach a fever pitch, until they are so loud I cannot hear anything else, and that is when I wake up. noises suddenly stop And I am in my bed at home.
  • creeped out But why am I there too? WHY AM I IN YOUR HOME?!! - What? Oh, I am very sorry doctor. magic sound FX As you can see, sometimes these things can be… overwhelming. But I answered your questions.
  • panting Alright…regardless of a diagnosis, I’m prescribing something. Maybe I should get some enchanted SSRIs or voodoovalproic acid, maybe dopamine blockade with a 4 leaf clover…I have no idea, but I can’t ignore what I just experienced. I will agree with you for now that any deep analysis is too dangerous. - And you now see my reticence to engage in this with you. It is not out of fear of acknowledgement. I know I need to speak to someone. I know there are things that I cannot continue to leave unspoken or unaddressed. But I know that I am unable to go down some of these roads without potentially causing serious harm to whoever dares accompany me. Even if that person had abilities or powers, the risk of losing another person’s life for something I did is too much for me to bear.
  • Absolutely makes sense…which is something I’m glad to say after all of that. Now, it’s time for some burpees, followed by deep breathing with stretches, and a mild sedative. -That sounds very forward of you doctor to prescribe such specific
  • interrupting That’s not for you, that’s for me. I need to be sharp for any more sessions with you. I won’t give up. - I don’t understand. Why would you continue to risk everything for a possibility that I might make a slight improvement?
  • Because that’s what I signed up for. I may not comprehend everything a person says or does, but I can be there for the experience, good or bad. And I can always make suggestions for improvement. A work in progress starts with work before progress. - That sounds like it should be on a coffee mug or other location where one would emblazon a mantra. sound effect Consider this, then, a gift for your next training session.
  • I’m flattered! Um…why is there a giant crack in it? - It is flawed. Like both of us. But despite its outward appearance, it will not spill. It manages to hold everything inside, no matter what.
  • I will cherish it well…including that sentiment, more than you know.
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Scarlet Witch vol. 2 (James Robinson run)
  • Next episodes: Beast Boy, Sue Storm, plus Mental Health Avengers somewhere in there
  • Plugs for social

References:

• WandaVision episode - Anthony (5:27)
• Wiccan episode - Anthony
• Crystal episode - Anthony

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

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iHeartRadio: here

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We're back for another thematic episode - do superheroes hold people back from doing things for themselves? Do we stay on topic? Well... you'll have to listen to find out!

Issue 153- Holding Out for a Hero

• Intro
• Background
• • Holding Out for a Hero. Not just the single-most overused song on movie soundtracks in the 21st century, also the name of a trope denoting the tendency of individuals, governments, and entire societies who exist in worlds where there are superheroes fighting crimes and averting disasters all over the place to become overly dependent on them, to the point where heroes actually breed a degree of learned helplessness at best, and breathtakingly casual recklessness at worst. Do I need to take the time to check that my safety harness is properly fastened before I climb up this building's spire to do maintenance? Ehh...if I fall, there's someone out there who will save me. Do we need to spend hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars to install Positive Train Control throughout our rail system? Why? It costs nothing for a superhero to just save everyone whenever there's a derailment. If they're a super-strong superhero, they'll even put the train back on the track for us. Should the government seek a diplomatic solution in this international conflict? Are you kidding? Look at all these superheroes we have on our side. We'll do whatever we want and you can take it up with them if you have a problem with it.
  • This is one of my favorite story mines of the superhero ethos. The conflict between helping people and making their lives better versus doing so much for them that they lose the ability or the will to do anything for themselves. Probably because it's extremely relatable here in the real world. Sociological interactions from the individual level of parent-child all the way up to the global level of government-citizen have always involved a need to strike that kind of balance. Guaranteeing people's safety, security, and relative prosperity has a tendency to lessen the responsibility people feel for providing it to themselves and one another on an individual level. Superheroes intervening to solve dangerous situations as they're happening can create a type of bystander effect that dissuades anyone else from even trying to help out, especially if it's something that's an everyday occurrence. Man oh man, does this have a lot of real-world parallels that we'll get into. But first, as always, some comic book examples.
  • 1) Elliot S. Maggin's classic Must There Be A Superman? The Guardians of the Universe let Superman know that one of the tenets of the Green Lantern Corps is to handle the much larger, world-threatening crises and not do everything for sentient races, because it can actually stagnate evolution itself. When Superman gets back to Earth, he tests the assumption out by landing in a random small town, where the citizens ask for his help with EVERYTHING, including fixing a leaky roof.
  • 2) During Mark Waid's first run on The Flash, a recurring theme is that part of the reason that the scientific community of Central City is so groundbreaking in its work is that they can push the boundaries of safety in their experiments well beyond what would normally be considered acceptable. They view having The Flash around if anything goes wrong as the only safety measure they actually need.
  • 3) Ultimate Spider-Man Annual 2. After Peter's ninth or tenth run-in with The Shocker, he is shouting at the top of his lungs in frustration as to how he's still not in jail after all the times he's been caught. Thankfully, Foggy Nelson happens to be nearby and tells him straight up: dude, you have to get someone to hang around and give a statement to the police afterwards, or a first-year law student could get any criminal charges dropped. When there's a big crowd of people who just watched a superhero battle, every individual person is going to assume someone else is handling that, and go about their day.
  • 4) Watchmen. President Nixon doesn't even try to reach a detente with the Soviet Union or China at the height of the Cold War. America has Dr. Manhattan as the ultimate trump card against anything the Communist world could ever do. As a result, they wipe out the North Vietnamese Army in a heartbeat and behave aggressively on the world stage throughout the 70s and 80s. This bites them back in a major way when Manhattan decides he doesn't want to be a part of humanity anymore and leaves Earth.
  • 5) Red Son. A villain-ish example. Superman creates a utopia in the Soviet Union largely by solving all of the problems that arise himself. But he's cognizant of the fact that he's doing it, and tries very hard to get his citizens to start stepping up and following his example. He also could simply take over the world and install communism upon all of humanity by force. But it's critically important to him that humanity makes the choice to adopt it themselves, or the ideology won't have triumphed, only he would.
  • Real-world examples? You want real-world examples? I've got real world examples for you. Seat belts. Introduced in the 1940s, it took over 5 decades for them to become mandatory in all 50 states, and the public fought against them every step of the way. One of the reasons why, that we've all just forgotten about, because it's been decades now and people just accept it? Studies done at the time laws were being implemented showed clear evidence that drivers disregarded safety behind the wheel more readily, they drove at unsafe speeds more frequently, and engaged in carelessness and negligence more often, viewing their seat belt as the ultimate form of protection. As recently as 2001, a National Highway Traffic Safety Administration study conceded the likely possibility that the presence of seat belts were a contributor to more frequent accidents even as they decreased fatalities.
  • (21:53) In economics and political science, as you know, we call this the Moral Hazard. Safety rails in public policy meant to provide government help to people and institutions in hard times can increase the likelihood that they will engage in behavior more likely to bring about said hard times, as the fear of the consequences is taken out of the equation. Nowhere is this more prevalent today than in the world's financial industry. It has just become accepted now as a matter of course that the world's governments will always step in with currency support, quantitative easing, and outright bailouts when there is an economic downturn, allowing the large investors of the world to socialize the risks of their operations among the entire population whether they're a customer who's opted in to do so or not. Because of the interconnectedness of the global financial markets, the costs to the world's economies of a full-scale collapse of large banks and investment houses is seen as much higher than the occasional large payments it takes to keep them afloat.
  • (36:42) On a micro, individual level, there's the bystander effect and the diffusion of responsibility. The tendency of individuals being less likely to offer help to someone in need when there are a large group of people present, figuring someone else will handle it. The Kitty Genovese case that first brought these terms to the lexicon in the 60s has largely been discredited, but for my money, you need look no further than any instance where there's someone in some kind of dangerous situation anywhere in a public place, what is the first thing almost anyone does? Do they step in and help? Call 911? Scream for someone else to call 911? No, they take out their freaking cell phones and start recording it to post on the Internet, as if the 300th camera angle is going to document what's going on in a way the other 299 won't. It. Drives. Me. Freaking. Nuts.
  • (50:39) So as a superhero, how do you use that light touch, and do for people what they can't do for themselves without taking away their ability to do anything for themselves?

• Ending

• • Recommended reading: Everything we talked about
  • Next episodes: Wanda Maximoff, Beast Boy, Sue Storm
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Naked Gun - “That’s my policy” - Doc (40:10)

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Grab your guns, we're going hunting for monsters with Elsa Bloodstone! What will die faster: the things she squares off with or her family legacy? Listen now to find out!

• Intro
  • Last few days of Podchaser Reviews4Good
  • So Wizard - Ask them Anything? More like ask them why their show is so consistently amazing.

• Background (3:15)

  • Elsa Bloodstone created by Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning, Michael Lopez in Bloodstone #1 (Dec. 2001)
  • Daughter of legendary monster hunter Ulysses Bloodstone, Elsa was raised to follow in her father’s footsteps
  • Ulysses was a taskmaster who showed Elsa little affection, and instead focused solely on training her to be an effective killer - this drove a wedge between them, and when Ulysses was dying, Elsa refused to put him out of his misery despite his request
  • When he died, she inherited the Bloodstone, which gave her increased durability and strength
  • Was a founding member of the Nextwave team, which battled Dirk Anger & HATE, and also blew things up just for funsies
  • Joined the Defenders for a spell to help them fight demons, during which she battled Deadpool & Elektra when they tried to steal the Bloodstone
  • Became a teacher at the Braddock Academy, where her younger brother Cullen was enrolled
  • Then she joined the Dr. Doom-led Avengers during AXIS
  • In the aftermath of Secret Wars, Elsa is on Battleworld - she encounters a young girl with no memory, who she names Shuttup - she and Shuttup are followed by a mysterious figure, who turns out to be an alternate universe version of Ulysses, who is hunting down all forms of the Bloodstone - Elsa realizes Shuttup is a manifestation of her lost childhood, and together they kill Ulysses and merge with the stone - Elsa uses the power of the stone to resurrect Ulysses and give him a second chance
  • Took a young Inhuman boy named Kei Kawade under her wing, as he had the power to summon and control monsters - once he grew strong enough to control his powers, she bid him farewell
  • Next fought a beast that infected her Bloodstone hand, and with the help of Deadpool was able to recover - he took the infected stone and then sacrificed himself, destroying the monsters they were fighting and curing the infection in the process - Elsa looked after Deadpool’s head while it regenerated
  • Recently learned she and Cullen had a half-sister named Lyra, who was born a long time ago and sent into another dimension by Ulysses - she came crashing back to Earth

• Issues (9:49)

  • Wasn’t really raised as much as she was trained
  • Not a fan of her calling, but she has decided it will end with her (17:42)
  • Related to that, keeps people at a distance to focus on the job (24:31)
• Break (34:41)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, ODPH, and Cullen Bunn
• Treatment (36:25)
  • In-universe - Follow Elsa to get her comfortable with decision making without massive consequence
  • Out of universe - Child soldier analogue (38:20)
• Skit (feat. Rebecca from Into the Knight) (45:38)
  • DOC: Hello Elsa, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • ELSA: Hello, doctor.
  • D: So what can I help you with?
  • E: Not much. You don’t seem like the kind of bloke that can handle a weapon.
  • D: Ummmm…no? Why would you even go there?
  • E: Figured this was some sort of setup. Nobody wants to talk to someone like me out of the blue unless they’ve had some big problems in their life.
  • D: It’s usually the other way around. My job is to help people through their own big problems. I’m not trying to foist my issues on to theirs.
  • E: Could’ve fooled me with the name.
  • D: I honestly hoped that no one would look at it like that, but…we’re off topic. What can a mental health and wellness professional, such as myself, help you with?
  • E: Perhaps you could get in the heads of some of these horrible creatures and distract them so my job gets easier.
  • D: pause You really think that you don’t don’t need help with anything?
  • E: You sound like a hammer looking for a nail.
  • D: I’ve had plenty of defensive patients before, but you’re trying to sound…smug? Cool? I’m not sure what, but I’m not going to ignore it.
  • E: You do that. I’ll just sit back and polish my gun while you keep fishing…that’s not a metaphor or anything clicking sound representing a gun hammer
  • D: So…subtle, or not so subtle intimidation. You’re a pro at this.
  • E: pause Now you’re REALLY trying hard to get me to talk about something. I’m not going to waste your time. I got the big stuff out of my life, and I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. I’m fine.
  • D: I’ll have to do this the old fashioned primary doctor way then…any medical problems?
  • E: Nope. I healed them.
  • D: What did you heal?
  • E: Not much, just my whole arm. Had to get it back.
  • D: You…you grew back your arm?
  • E: No, don’t be bonkers! It was…magic, basically. Damn, if you don’t know anything about that stuff, that sounds crazy.
  • D: Your…pendant? Just gave a glow. What’s up with that?
  • E: It does that sometimes. What of it?
  • D: You just described a massive event in your life, talked about magic, and you have a glowing rock on your neck. You won’t talk about anything when I ask if there’s a problem, but you tried to get me to sound like I’d be some sort of sidekick. With all due respect…something ain’t right.
  • E: You sound like you're trying to make me out to be a trickster. I’m as straight a shot as they come. Don’t try to use any psychological ploys on me, or I’ll paint the bloody wall with your skull.
  • D: I’m a straight shooter, too…you’re being vague on purpose. The only real clue is your reactions and fragments of what you give. Do you realize how hard that makes it to formulate an assessment and plan?
  • E: irritated Fragments? YOU have fragments? You don’t know what it’s like to have your own memories as fragments! I’m not being coy when I stop you. I just figured stuff out for myself, and I don’t want to have to go over it again with some random stranger that thinks I’m some bird trying to get sympathy.
  • D: I’m not that judgemental…you said some loaded statements just now, maybe we can unpack
  • E: Interrupting What did I just tell you? Keep going with that and I’ll show how this baby unloads gun cocking
  • D: Am I a monster to you, then?
  • E: pause sigh No, of course not.
  • D: But I’m representing some sort of threat to you and you’re walling yourself off because you can’t attack it head on like you usually would. What is it?
  • E: All I’m saying is, I dealt with him already. It’s done.
  • D: I see…well, I don’t really. But whatever it is, I’m glad you’ve moved on. So what’s next in your life?
  • E: I never know that. It’s whatever gets thrown at me. Comes with the territory, better or worse.
  • D: So take charge. You obviously have weapons, guile, and bravado, that’s enough to carry you through, right?
  • E: Innit? pause Emm, wait? I know what the words mean, but you’re stringing them together like it’s a plan or something. Hell if I know any of that.
  • D: snaps fingers is THAT why you want me involved? To help figure out your future plans? Maybe not as spontaneous, but also not as traumatic, right?
  • E: That…might make sense if you didn’t sound so much like a doctor.
  • D: Comes with the territory.
  • E: If that weren’t truly witty, I honestly WOULD have blasted you for that comment. I’m not into analyzing, alright?
  • D: You don’t have to be. I can let you know when something is out of sorts from what I hear and observe. Does that make sense?
  • E: deadpan you just described analyzing.
  • D: You know, you remind me of the stereotype of a surgeon. Usually right, sometimes wrong, but never in doubt. A chance to cut is a chance to cure. Interventions that make a difference. I’m begging you though, please consider that other techniques may be beneficial. I’m not trying to sound mushy or woo woo, but if you ignore emotions now, they just come out later in unexpected ways. I don’t have to know YOUR history to know that from my own. But be my guest, blast away at evil all you want, hoping to blast away your pain. Or do you want someone to point out opportunities for a better quality of life?
  • E: sigh It’s just that, well, with what I do, there’s not a lot of time for processing or thinking about all that stuff. There’s a job, so I do it. I’m trying to do it better than my father, and since I’m talking to you, that’s already an improvement. My goal is to make it so no one else has to endure what I have. If that means keeping my head down until it’s done, then so be it. I can handle it.
  • D: I’m sure you can. I only want you to find as much joy and peace in that process as much as you endure the pain and suffering. That’s blasphemous to those who have only learned the obstacle as the way.
  • E: Well, if you can’t crack a smile while putting bullets in the head of mindless brain-eaters, then you’re deader inside than they are. I mean, I wouldn’t keep doing this if it wasn’t at least somewhat entertaining. S’not all bad, I suppose. But I guess I can try to find more of the joy in things while I’m at it.
  • D: Careful, or I might smile back at you to let you know that I enjoy what I do and find things outside of my job to grant me strength and love so it doesn’t consume all of my waking hours, no matter the demand.
  • E: Well, that hits close to home!
  • D: I’m glad SOMETHING finally did. How about this; instead of doing all of the retrospective stuff, you get the chance to regale me with your latest adventure, and I just comment on what’s happened to fill in the possible emotional gaps? Think of a spotter for a sniper
  • E: More of a shotgun person myself, but I get the point. OK, Doc, you got yourself a deal. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got word of some pretty nasty buggers not too far from here, so I’m off to go separate their heads from their bodies. Fancy a look?
  • D: No thanks, I'll just wait here and do literally anything else.
  • E: Fair enough. Your loss, then.
• Ending (52:41)
  • Recommended reading: Nextwave for fun, Marvel Zombies & Monsters Unleashed for real Elsa stories
  • Next episodes: Holding Out for a Hero, Wanda Maximoff, Beast Boy
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Lollipop Chainsaw - Doc (8:15)
• Hellsing Anime - Doc (8:20)
• “No Easy Way Out” - Doc (15:56)
• Ikigai - Doc (26:08)

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It's our first ever sequel episode, and we're taking another crack at MOON KNIGHT! Four years after our first look at Marc Spector, how has he changed? How have we?

• Intro
  • Podchaser Reviews4Good
  • Thanks to new Patron - Local Official Nicole!

• Background (4:20)

  • Moon Knight created by Doug Moench and Don Perlin in Werewolf by Night #32 (Aug. 1975)
  • Go back to episode 4 for the full rundown
  • “Killed” Khonshu inside his head and reconciled all his identities
  • Discovered he had an unknown daughter fathered by Jake Lockley with Marlene, who opted not to tell Marc/Steven - said daughter was kidnapped by Bushman and the Sun King to lure Moon Knight out to kill him - Moon Knight defeats Sun King with Khonshu’s help
  • Age of Khonshu - Under the influence of Khonshu, battled the Avengers to take over the world in order to protect it, and at one point became a host for the Phoenix Force - gave up the power in order to help the Avengers overthrow Khonshu and imprison him
  • Even though no longer under the influence of Khonshu, decides to resume protecting travelers of the night
  • Discovered he is not the only Fist of Khonshu, and after some initial confrontations, came to an uneasy alliance with the Hunter’s Moon, who considers Marc to have gone rogue and hopes to still bring him back under the formal fold of Khonshu worshippers

• Issues (7:58)

  • Still coping with influence from Khonshu, even though he no longer has actual control over him
  • Struggling with empathy for those who would do him harm (18:21)
• Break (26:45)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Legends: A Superhero Story, and Erica Schultz
• Treatment (28:45)
  • In-universe -
  • Out of universe - Create a velvet rope/red carpet situation (32:07)
• Skit (40:51)
  • Hello again Marc. - Bet you didn’t think you’d see me again, huh?
  • At this point I don’t try to predict the future. Open-mindedness has led me to a healthier headspace, so I don’t see a reason to change now. I will say, however, thatI hope this session is less…dramatic. - That makes two of us. Understand though, it’s not like that was my fault. Too many chefs in the kitchen…man it’s tough to say that out loud.
  • The good news is that I have a new perspective. I’m not trying to infringe on another professional’s case. I’ve talked to Dr. Sterman, and I’m impressed with how she’s been able to help you so far. - That’s why I’m surprised she told me to see you. What gives?
  • All of us take breaks when necessary, even psychiatrists. We can cover for each other. - I…get it, conceptually, but there’s a problem then. You don’t swap out partners in a marriage, right? And why is that? Because unless you’re reallllllly open, it screws up the relationship you already had. Now how am I supposed to recreate that type of rapport with you?
  • All fair points. I’m not replacing her. I’m a second opinion, if that makes you feel better about it. A consultant. - Considering this conversation is already smoother than the entire first session, I’ll consider it a win for now.
  • So what have you been working on most recently? It sounds like you’ve had a consolidation. That’s incredibly rare! - As if you thought we’re all separate anyway? I did some searching myself…you don’t really buy all of this, do you? You probably just tag me as “crazy” and throw my chart in a pile with schizophrenics.
  • Please give me more credit than that! I’m not saying that your way of dealing with stress hasn’t led to dissociation, I’m saying that the DESCRIPTIONS that have been given don’t necessarily have to be their own person…Is this type of conversation going to actually help you, or are you testing me? - A little from column A, a little from column B.
  • Are you satisfied with your reactions to potential situations that have led you to split before? - I’ll never be satisfied, because I never WANT it to happen. It’s not like we’re a happy-go-lucky sewing circle. But there’s mutual respect.
  • How did you get to that point? -By not arguing with the likes of you small laugh but seriously, I had some baggage I had to drop. You ever had a mentor?
  • Of course; no doctor has been trained without multiple mentors, even if we don’t identify them that way in the moment. - Well what if one of them leads you down a path you didn’t want to go? What if they’re responsible for your success, but then they’re manipulating you…maybe even tearing you down. You understand?
  • I’m following…keep going - So what’s the right answer? I know you enough that you’re probably thinking “find your own path.” Still, this guy has THE path. Do things his way, and you are guaranteed some great results. Anything else kinda looks like failure.
  • So you don’t want to fail him, or yourself? -Easy answer is both.
  • But how…oh this is cliche “How does it make me feel?”- You want MY answer?
  • sigh I get it…what are ALL of the answers? - Jake doesn’t care as long as I keep the ones close to me safe. Steven thinks it’s beneath us to pander to outdated nonsense, and I’m…I’m talking to you about it because I basically already made a decision for all of us, and I don’t want remorse over doing whatever the hell I want because I think I have all of this under control. And I don’t want a guilt trip from you telling me that this is what you wanted to talk about in the first session because I couldn’t handle it directly and let the other guys take the lead too much. Plus I
  • HOLD ON! There’s no need to get defensive. I’m thankful for your candor. I’ll take what you’re saying at face value. - Even if it’s an ancient god that is partly responsible for the fact that I have this condition in the first place?
  • All I’m saying is that…whatever your descriptions are, relationships change. Some better, some worse. There’s no point in placing blame. It sounds like you decided to move on. - That’s not entirely accurate. I still do a ton under his auspices. I want to. Just not HIS way. There’s bound to be some situations that piss him off. I’m well past the point of caring. Yes he gave me these gifts, and yes those gifts came with strings attached. But the hand operating the strings also became a ceiling, and if I wanted to grow I was going to have to break the string, the ceiling, the hands, the whole damn thing.
  • I guess the question is, is it worth it to you? Growth and destruction can look a lot alike. Recognize that your own actions can create more trauma for yourself. - Are you TRYING to get me riled up? I’m not going to throw away everything I’ve built for some false sense of freedom. I’m willing to talk to you because I want to be smart about this. My mind’s made up. I don’t need hand holding.
  • So you’re not Khonshu’s lackey…but you’re willing to wear the uniform. You maintain the moniker. You have a long way to go before anybody looks at you another way. - I can tell I’ve matured, because there’s a part of me that would want to punch you in the face for that…and NO I don’t mean it the way you’re thinking.
  • OK, so what do you mean then? - I mean… you have no idea what I struggle with on a regular basis. Hell, even sitting in this chair talking to you is using up all of my mental faculties just to maintain a conversation. But I’m not the guy anymore who’s going to use that as an excuse to lash out, or sit here and think you’re making assumptions about me so I might as well live up to them. I’m trying to be a better man, gods dammit, but these things take time and energy. So I’m not going to work on reinventing the wheel just so I can say it’s mine. I’ll do what I can with what I can, and opinions be damned.
  • Don’t be a reboot, be a remix. I like it. I apologize if I’m pushing buttons, but that’s because I won’t know exactly what clicks until you answer like that. I have enough trust in you that I can challenge your base assumptions, and vice versa. So, where do we go with your plan? - Well, you may have trust in me, but all cards on the table, I’m still not fully on board with you. No offense, but I’ve been stabbed in the back too many times at this point to go headfirst into someone else’s idea of what they think will help me be better. Even if they’re letting me have one hand on the wheel. I was there before, and it was all an illusion. So we can keep talking, and maybe eventually we’ll get there. But that’s all I can promise you for right now. From what I gather of you, though, I think that’s enough for you to work with.
  • Can I level with you? When you first met me, you were all over the place. Your sentences bordered on senseless, and you continued to split so many times that it made my head spin. I knew that this was through no fault of your own, and I could have very easily considered you a danger. But I still want to work with you. You know why? Because even with all of the alters, all of the violence, all of the chaos, I saw a man that was determined to find a way to do what he considers to be the right thing when he could have shunned the world for what it has done to him. Take that for what you will, but I think that means we’re about equal in the contribution to the gap between our trust. - I can work with that. Guess we’ll be seeing you around, then.
• Ending (49:52)
  • Recommended reading: Jeff Lemire run, current Jed McKay run
  • Next episodes: Elsa Bloodstone, Holding Out for a Hero, Wanda Maximoff
  • Plugs for social

References:

• The Art of Serenity by T. Byram Karasu - Doc (15:35)
• Atomic Habits by James Clear - Doc (33:04)

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It's our 150th episode, so to celebrate we opted to do an AMA. At least that was the plan at first…

• Intro
  • Podchaser - Reviews4Good
  • Thank yous to everyone

• AMA portion

  • Scariest podcasting moment? - @MikeyGeek
  • Have you read any IDW Transformers comics? What are your thoughts? - I Understood That Reference
  • How has doing the podcast changed you? - Dr Goku from GuardiansMH
  • If you could pick a fictional character to have on the couch, who would it be? - Patron Matt & Lissy
  • What are your early comic memories/what sparked your love of comics? - Patron Matt & Lissy
  • Since Anthony is a lawyer, would he represent you in court for a malpractice case? -Anonymous
  • Is there any time when you recommend comics to your patients? -Anonymous
  • Are there any episodes that you would recommend starting with besides the first one? -Anonymous

• Skit

  • DOC: OK, so let’s go to the next questbuzz-phone call oh, sorry, must’ve forgotten to turn it off. Lemme just check, it might be work. beat I don’t recognize this number. Could be work? Hello?
  • HANK: Hello Doctor Issues…
  • DOC: Who is this?
  • HANK: You tried to get me to move on, but all that did was cause me greater grief. So now I’m back to have my revenge. Not just on Superman, but on you.
  • DOC: Hank Henshaw? I never tried to get you to move on from Terri, I simply told you to focus your energy, sorry, no pun intended, on a healthier way to honor her memory.
  • HANK: I tried that. I worked on creating a permanent tribute to her online. I made that Instagram profile of her, and it worked for a while. I was going to use her internet fame to support organizations that she cared about. You know what happened? Crypto bros took her pictures, turned them into NFTs, and started selling them online. So I found every single one of them and killed them all. And then I turned my attention to you.
  • DOC: Dear God, man.
  • HANK: I thought about killing you, but that would be too easy. Plus there’s a good chance that blue bastard would come and rescue you. So I opted to hurt you in another way.
  • DOC: If you harm my family…
  • HANK: Oh no, Doc, this is much worse than that. You know, it’s funny how simple it is to break past encryption when you’re living inside the system. All these patient files, each one tells a story.
  • DOC: You can’t do that!
  • HANK: DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO! I’m Hank Henshaw, and I’m beholden to no man. Say, these files are so interesting, I think the rest of the world should have the opportunity to see what you wrote here…
  • DOC: Don’t you dare…
  • HANK: Oh, you think this is a comic book where you can stop me? I already released the files online, Doc. Good luck trying to get the toothpaste back in the tube now… hahahaha
  • ANTHONY: Everything ok, bro?
  • DOC: No, definitely not. I need to get back to my office NOW. And I have to make a few phone calls… dialing noise c’mon, pick up pick up pick up…
  • TONY STARK: Y’ello?
  • DOC: Tony, thank goodness you picked up.
  • TONY: Uh, who is this?
  • DOC: It’s Doctor Issues. We had a therapy session a few years ago, I don’t know if you remember
  • TONY: Oh I remember you. Kinda. We split the Glenlivet, right?
  • DOC: We didn’t really split it, so much as you drank it and then split. Anyway, listen, I need your help. One of my clients, a bad dude, he got into my patient files and released them all online. I need you to get them off the Internet and make sure no one has access to them again.
  • TONY: Hoo boy, that is quite a quandary. So you’re telling me that your files on every single one of your patients, including me, is now out there online?
  • DOC: Yes, but-
  • TONY: Interesting. Jarvis, bring up my file.
  • JARVIS: I’m not sure that’s a wise course of action, sir.
  • TONY: If I’m going to help Doc, I need to know what I’m dealing with.
  • DOC: Tony, please, just
  • TONY: Uh-uh, hold on just a sec. Mmmmhmmm…
  • DOC: We don’t have time, the sooner we get started on this the sooner we can shut this down and stop anyone else from reading their files.
  • TONY: Yes, because heaven forbid anyone learn that you think they’re, what was it again, a narcissist who uses alcohol as a means of self-medication to avoid addressing past traumas? Did I have that right?
  • DOC: Tony, you were drinking in the session and left because you got bored of things. It’s not pretty to read, but I stand by my assessment. I also indicated you performed great things in spite of that.
  • TONY: Well, in spite of your compliment, I’m going to tell you to kiss my ass, Doc. Find another lackey to help you clean up your mess. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to exercise my demons with a little racquetball. And the only drinking I’ll be doing is my C4 energy drink. Happy?
  • DOC: Not really, I mean
  • TONY: Wasn’t talking to you. Happy, bring the car around. And my gym bag better not smell like the insides of your shoes again, or so help me I’ll click
  • DOC: Dammit! OK, think, who else can I call? Oh, I know!
  • UATU: DOCTOR ISSUES!
  • DOC: What the?
  • UATU: YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED.
  • DOC: Uatu? Not now.
  • UATU: THIS WAS NOT A REQUEST. teleportation sound effect
  • DOC: NO! I need to get back to Earth! Do you know what I’m dealing with?
  • UATU: OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. I FORESAW THIS HAPPENING.
  • DOC: I thought you couldn’t see the future.
  • UATU: I CANNOT. BUT I CAN SEE ALL ACTIONS HAPPENING ACROSS THE UNIVERSE AT ONCE, AND I CAN PREDICT WITH A HIGH RATE OF PROBABILITY WHAT WILL OCCUR. YOUR DISMISSAL OF HANK HENSHAW WAS LIKELY TO DRIVE HIM TO SEEK REVENGE.
  • DOC: I didn’t dismiss him, I simply… we’re getting off topic. Why am I here?
  • UATU: I AM FORBIDDEN FROM INTERFERING IN THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS, I AM MERELY AN OBSERVER.
  • DOC: First off, that’s ridiculous, you’ve interfered I don’t know how many times. Secondly, bringing me here to the moon is interference by itself - if you wanted to observe, you could’ve just left me on Earth.
  • UATU: OH, IS THIS UPSETTING TO YOU? DOES THIS MAKE YOU MAD?
  • DOC: Yes it does!
  • UATU: WELL NOW YOU HAVE A MILD INKLING OF HOW I FEEL. I BORE OF YOUR INCESSANT JOKES ABOUT WATCHING PEOPLE MASTURBATE AND ENGAGE IN VARIOUS SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS.
  • DOC: So you dragged me up here, in the middle of the biggest professional and personal crisis I’ve ever encountered, just because you’re mad I made jokes about you?
  • UATU: YES.
  • DOC: What the hell, man! You’re an interdimensional being with the powers of a god, why are you so focused on being this petty?
  • UATU: BECAUSE I CAN, THAT’S WHY.
  • DOC: Can you just send me back, please? You made your point.
  • UATU: FINE. BUT IF I HEAR YOU MAKING ONE MORE UATU IS WATCHING YOU JOKE, I WILL TELEPORT YOU TO A REGION OF SPACE WHERE YOU WILL NEVER BE FOUND. teleportation sound AND HERE’S A MIDDLE FINGER. I HOPE YOU CAN SEE THIS, BECAUSE I’M DOING IT AS HARD AS I CAN.
  • DOC: Ugh, that was not fun. Also, why do I feel like he’s flipping me off? Anyway, I need to get to the office. Lemme check Uber… 17 minutes? Nope, too long. Uhh… oh great, first bit of good luck today. TAXI! tires squeal
  • JAKE: Where to, pal?
  • DOC: The central office plaza downtown, and step on it!
  • JAKE: Sure thing, buddy. car door closes, drives off
  • DOC: Thanks. Say, you look kinda familiar. Do I know you?
  • JAKE: Hmm… I don’t remember you, and I’m pretty good with remembering folks. I just have one o’dem faces.
  • DOC: Are you sure? I seem to recall meeting you at some point. Not too often you encounter folks with a Chicago accent here.
  • JAKE: We’re more common than you realize. We move all over da place.
  • DOC: OK, that’s fair, I grant you.
  • STEVEN: Grant? Oh my, I detest when this occurs.
  • DOC: What the… oh great, of all the taxis I hadda find…
  • STEVEN: Rest assured, good sir, this is equally embarrassing to me as it is to you.
  • DOC: Somehow I don’t think that’s the case.
  • STEVEN: Ahh yes, you’re referring to the incident with the patient files?
  • DOC: You know about that already?
  • STEVEN: Yes, the matter was brought to my attention earlier by my social media team. Got an alert when my name popped up in trending files. Had to send my PR staff into high alert to address some of the more… unsavory aspects.
  • DOC: Jeez, and I don’t even recall saying anything that bad. I guess it’s just the specter of negativity that you have to deal with.
  • MARC: Spector? Aww s**t, now I’m in charge. C’mon Jake, where are we supposed to be going?
  • DOC: Wait, who am I talking to now? And what do you mean where are we going? Don’t you share this info between identities?
  • MARC: What would be most comforting for you to hear?
  • DOC: If that’s how you’re asking the question, I have a feeling no answer is actually going to be comforting.
  • MARC: Not gonna lie to you, Doc, you’re not that wrong. Truth is, when this happens, I just kinda drive around in circles and hope that Jake sees something familiar enough that he takes the wheel again. Literally and figuratively.
  • DOC: I don’t have time for this. Stop the car.
  • MARC: But what about
  • DOC: Talk to Steven, I’m sure he can afford to pick up the tab. car door opens & closes Well, I’m not that far away, guess I can walk. In the meantime… dialing sound pick up, Bruce, pick up…
  • BATMAN: (voicemail) If you feel the need to leave a voicemail, you’re not using the proper channels. Contact the right people and they’ll alert me accordingly.
  • DOC: DAMMIT BRUCE! Ugh. OK, next one. C’mon Dick…
  • DICK: (voicemail) This is Dick. If this is about business, leave your name and number. If you want to get back to business, I’ll call you when I need you.
  • DOC: How about neither… fine, let’s try Jason?
  • JASON: Hello:
  • DOC: Jason? It’s Doctor Issues.
  • JASON: I was wondering if you’d call.
  • DOC: Listen, I need help.
  • JASON: I’m sure you do. So in your greatest moment of need, you reach out to someone, hoping they’ll faithfully support you and assist you?
  • DOC: Yes!
  • JASON: Sure is a bitch when it doesn’t work out in your favor, isn’t it? click
  • DOC: WHAT? No no no no… fine, I guess I’ll try Tim.
  • TIM: Hello?
  • DOC: Oh, thank goodness, Tim, I
  • TIM: Haha, gotcha. Thought I was answering the phone. Oh man, I’m sure you’re probably pretty pissed at me. Which you would tell me, except I’m not available right now. So go ahead and leave me a message, and I’ll call you back.
  • DOC: Oh that is NOT COOL, Tim. sigh I guess now I’m up to Damian.
  • VOICE: The number you have dialed has not established a voicemail service.
  • DOC: OH COME ON!!! Umm… wait, do I have her number… YES! Oh please please please…
  • STEPHANIE: Hello?
  • DOC: Hello, Stephanie?
  • STEPHANIE: Who is this?
  • DOC: My name is Doctor Issues, I’ve worked with several of your… colleagues.
  • STEPHANIE: Who?
  • DOC: Dick, Jason, Tim… Bruce… they all
  • STEPHANIE: No, I mean who are you?
  • DOC: I’m… I’m Dr. Issues, I’m their psychiatrist.
  • STEPHANIE: Never heard of you.
  • DOC: Wait, what?
  • STEPHANIE: And how did you get this number?
  • DOC: Because they… I mean you…
  • STEPHANIE: Please don’t call me again. click
  • DOC: So much for that angle… who else can I call…
  • JOKER: It’s so hard to find good help these days…
  • DOC: Oh no.
  • JOKER: What’s the matter Doc, you look like you just watched a man die. Here, let me get you a mirror so you can see it up close.
  • DOC: Nope, not sticking around for this one. starts to run away
  • JOKER: sound of net releasing and capturing Doc, who struggles Oh, but we have a lot to talk about. I need to fill you in on the team of professionals you set up for me. They’ve been rotating around for quite some time. Or at least I imagine they have, who knows how much weight a ceiling fan can support. After the third body they tend to get a little dicey.
  • DOC: Dear God…
  • JOKER: The Korean doctor took it especially hard. All that time she thought fan death wasn’t real. Right up until the end when the blades decapitated her…
  • DOC: Come on, is there ANYONE around who can help me?
  • JOKER: It’s funny, you wrote in my notes that I needed to stay isolated because I’d be less of a threat. And yet who’s the one who’s all alone right now? It’d be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic. But what the hell, I’ll laugh anyway BWAHAHAHAHApunch ooooomph
  • NORTHSTAR: Doctor, are you alright?
  • DOC: Northstar, what are you doing here?
  • NORTHSTAR: I read the report, and I decided to march over right away to talk to you about it. As I approached, I saw that insane clown man assaulting you, so I thought I’d take care of him first and ask questions later, la!
  • DOC: Well I sure am glad to see you. I need to get back to my office right away, so I can whooosh … access my files.
  • NORTHSTAR: Bienvenue. Now, about what you wrote…
  • DOC: Not now, Northstar, this is a bad time.
  • NORTHSTAR: NO, Doctor, you will not brush me off, ça prend tout mon petit change just to have this discussion. I thought I did the right things, said the right things, pi you write that I am self-absorbed, focused on image. Why would I come to you for help if not to get better, À cause tu fais simple de même?
  • DOC: Look, Jean-Paul, I appreciate that you are fired up about this, and I’ll be happy to talk this over with you at a later time. But clearly, I’ve got major problems to address right now, so can we table this discussion?
  • NORTHSTAR: I’m not talking about this with you on a table, on a couch, or anywhere, esti! I know you get confused when I speak in French, so let me be clear: kiss my ass, Doctor. whoosh
  • DOC: sigh Well, at least I’m in the office and I can focus on phone rings sigh hello?
  • JJJ: I need to speak to Doctor Issues right away, this is urgent!
  • DOC: This is he.
  • JJJ: You answer your own phone? What kinda two-bit operation are you running? And to think I wasted good time, and worse yet, good money, talking to you.
  • DOC: Who is this?
  • JJJ: It’s J. Jonah Jameson.
  • DOC: What do you want, Jameson, I’m kind of in the middle of something.
  • JJJ: Yes, I know. That’s why I’m calling. This story is breaking news, and I’m asking, no DEMANDING, an exclusive interview for TNM.
  • DOC: My professional life is falling apart around me, and you think I’m going to take time answering questions?
  • JJJ: Of course! Gives you a chance to get your side of the story out before things go too far. Who cares about being right, what matters is being first. Remember: people read headlines, not retractions.
  • DOC: That says an awful lot, both about you and the media business as a whole. But I’m not interested right now, I need to find someone who can stop this from spreading across the web.
  • JJJ: I think I have someone in my office who can help with web stuff. ANALOG! Where the hell is Derick? I need someone to shut down the Internet. That’s not how this works, Jonah. I don’t pay you to argue with me, I pay you to get things done. And at the rate you’re going, you’re lucky I pay you at all.
  • DOC: Goodbye, Jonah.
  • JJJ: And another thing-click
  • DOC: OK, now to look up how to take things off the Internet. Gonna DuckDuckGo this, last thing I need is more stuff getting traced back to smash WHAT THE
  • TICK: Of all the unbelievable things I have to deal with on a daily basis. The unmitigated gall you must possess to disrespect me like this. I might not be the smartest hero, or the flashiest, or even the bluest, but I deserve better than this.
  • DOC: Tick, what are you-
  • TICK: It’s like you don’t even know who I am. After all this time we’ve known each other, I thought some common courtesy would have been established. Sure, people make mistakes here and there, and you brush them under the rug, because that’s what good cleaners do. Not the expensive ones, obviously, but the quality cleaners who take a little extra time to spit on the washcloth before scrubbing your toilet to give it that extra sheen. But something like this, I feel personally insulted to even have received something like this associated with my good name.
  • DOC: Tick, I promise you, what I wrote on your patient form was completely professional, and it was never intended to be read publicly. But my system was hacked, and all my confidential patient files are all over the Internet now, I sincerely apologize.
  • TICK: I didn’t see that when I filled out the section for pickup. What are you talking about?
  • DOC: Wait… what are YOU talking about?
  • TICK: I’m talking about my order. I specifically requested carnitas in my burrito, and you give me BARBACOA?!?! Do I LOOK Puerto Rican?
  • DOC: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!
  • TICK: I’ve been coming to this Chipotle every day for the past two years, and I sit in the same-
  • DOC: THIS IS NOT A CHIPOTLE.
  • TICK: Not with service like this, it isn’t.
  • DOC: Get. Out.
  • TICK: Fine. But first I’ll be leaving you a sternly worded review on Welp.
  • DOC: That’s… just GOOOOO.
  • TICK: And your decor is appalling. It’s like you don’t even want my business.
  • DOC: The door is over smash there…Oooookaaaayyy… now if I can PLEASE get back to work…
  • HOMELANDER: How the F**K are you still alive?
  • DOC: Homelander? Oh jeez, not you too…
  • HOMELANDER: I punched your skull off your f**king neck. There’s no goddamn way you should be living.
  • DOC: I don’t have the time or the patience to explain this to you.
  • HOMELANDER: Is it because I’m a… what was the phrase you used… “completely unreachable sociopath”?
  • DOC: No, but that’s not inaccurate. Do you hear yourself when you speak?
  • HOMELANDER: I have super hearing. But everyone will be able to hear you scream before you DIE! tosses Doc out window
  • DOC: AHHHH SOMEONE HELP ME!
  • ISAIAH: I’ll catch you.
  • DOC: AHH! AHH! AHH!
  • ISAIAH: Why are you shouting? Are you hurt? Are you ok?
  • DOC: Ahh… calms down I’m sorry, Isaiah, getting thrown out a window isn’t something you get over quickly.
  • ISAIAH: How do you know me?
  • DOC: I talked to you a while ago. I guess you don’t remember me?
  • ISAIAH: Was it a nice talk?
  • DOC: Yes, yes it was.
  • ISAIAH: Good.
  • HOMELANDER: Are you fking stting me? I toss you out the goddamn window, and of all the things to happen, you end up getting caught by this big dumb n-
  • ISAIAH: punch I don’t like those words. You hurt my friend.
  • DOC: Be careful, Isaiah, he’s a very mean person, and very strong.
  • ISAIAH: I can take care of bullies. You have a nice day now!
  • HOMELANDER: Is that all you got, you stupid motherfu-
  • ISAIAH: punch I said I don’t like those words.
  • DOC: I’m just going to take advantage of this and take off. grabs phone starts dialing C’mon Bruce, pick up pick up pick up…
  • CARNAGE: Going somewhere, Doctor?
  • DOC: sigh No, I guess I’m not.
  • CARNAGE: Not like when you tried to send me back to Ravencroft, or the Vault, or any of the other places you tried to throw me away and forget about me.
  • DOC: Cletus, you need help. More help than I can personally provide.
  • CARNAGE: Yes, I know. I had such a wonderful talk with Victor last week about you.
  • DOC: Victo… oh no.
  • CARNAGE: Oh YES. Your name comes up an awful lot lately. Even before this little report of yours released. We all have our own ideas about ending you. Victor’s was one of the more… colorful ones I’ve heard. And he’s got a special place for you all saved up.
  • DOC: Yes, he told me all about it.
  • CARNAGE: Jim Jr., Roman, Waylon, Mr. Blake… we’ve had fantastic conversations about what we’d do if we ever got the chance to have a special session with you. And what with all the alone time I’ve had lately, I’ve been ruminating quite a bit about it.
  • DOC: Lucky me…
  • CARNAGE: But you know what the major difference is between me and them?
  • DOC: Lemme guess, you’re actually the one who’s going to pull it off?
  • CARNAGE: How dare you steal that opportunity from me? I was building up, it was a whole thing, it’s like you don’t even know how this is supposed to work out. The one time I decide I’m going to embrace the theatricality they talk about, and you steal my thunder. This is why I just kill people right away, no chance for backtalk. I should just stick to the basics…
  • BOOSTER: portals in Yes, yes, it’s me, Booster Gold. Hold your applause until I’m finished saving you, Doc.
  • DOC: None to be had, Booster.
  • CARNAGE: Who the hell is this clown?
  • BOOSTER: The name’s Booster Gold. You don’t know it yet, but I’m about to make a big impact on you. Specifically my foot to your ass.
  • DOC: Don’t say that out loud…
  • BOOSTER: Oh it’s fine, Doc. I’ve already seen how this plays out. You’re fine.
  • DOC: If you saw this already, why didn’t you stop it before it happened?
  • CARNAGE: What is going on here?
  • BOOSTER: I got caught up with some Justice League business. You know how it is, flying around the world, saving multiple timelines. It takes its toll. I needed some “me time”.
  • DOC: You’re a time traveler. LITERALLY ALL YOU HAVE IS ME TIME.
  • BOOSTER: And yet I managed to take time out of my busy world saving schedule to come here and save the world for you. And before you say it, you’re welcome.
  • DOC: So please, do it. NOW.
  • BOOSTER: What’s the rush then? I mean, you just indicated I have all the time in the world, so theoretically I can leave and come back.
  • DOC: Did you research this guy at all?
  • BOOSTER: Who does research?
  • DOC: Serial killer.
  • BOOSTER: Like Count Chocula, or…
  • DOC: Alien powered psychopath.
  • BOOSTER: Oh, so like J’onn when we run out of Oreos in the Watchtower.
  • DOC: WOULD YOU JUST HIT HIM ALREADY?
  • BOOSTER: Jeez, you’re in a hurry. OK. ahem STAND ASIDE, CITIZEN. BOOSTER GOLD IS HERE! I WILL NOW… wait, where’s the camera? I want to make sure they get my good si-
  • CARNAGE: RAAAAHHHH SHUT UP YOU BLOVIATING BUFFOON! slash sound effect Now where did the good doctor go?
  • DOC: running sound effects Good thing I remembered to tie my shoes this morning… sound of car pulls up window rolls down
  • FISK: Doctor Issues. Might I interest you in a ride?
  • DOC: I see no rational alternative, Mr. Fisk.
  • FISK: Nor do I. And yet here we are. Come in.
  • DOC: If only to get away from another psychopath. door opens & closes
  • FISK: So kind of you to join me.
  • DOC: Is that blood on the floor?
  • FISK: Remnants of the last person who chose to ignore a recommendation of mine. Unfortunately, given the circumstances I haven’t had the opportunity for a full detailing yet. Regardless, that’s not why we’re here.
  • DOC: Let me guess. You’re mad about… Wait. Although we may have our differences, you already know about me, and you already saw your file. So what, then?
  • FISK: I understand your hesitation to work with me, given the nature of our last conversation. Rest assured, as long as things remain cordial, no one’s family members have to be involved.
  • DOC: Then why even bring them up?
  • FISK: Because in light of everything that’s gone on, I felt it important to remind you of who I am.
  • DOC: OK.
  • FISK: As you know, I am a man of many resources. Resources that, in this instance, could provide useful in eliminating traces of these files from the internet and the computers of anyone who might possess them.
  • DOC: You’re rich. Got it. What’s that got to do with me?
  • FISK: Despite those resources, I am not without my limits. That is where you come in.
  • DOC: What could I provide you that you can’t buy yourself?
  • FISK: Daredevil.
  • DOC: If you saw my file on you, you definitely read my file on him. What more do you need from me?
  • FISK: It’s not the information I need, Doctor. You have access to him. A relationship. Trust.
  • DOC: If you think that’s the best level of trust possible, then you’ll still have a REALLY hard time getting access to him.
  • FISK: But his Catholic guilt can be manipulated quite easily to obtain a future session with him. All I need is for you to bend that to your will. Name the time and place, and I assure you everything else will be taken care of.
  • DOC: And you’re having me do this after an information breach that would mysteriously be cleaned up… Something tells me even a blind man could see the setup coming a mile away, and that’s without all the other senses coming into play.
  • FISK: I was under the impression you’d be more perceptive to this offer, given your current lack of allies or assistance.
  • DOC: And you would become persona non grata for somehow changing this one opportunity that everyone had. And you stole it from them. Are you sure you want that?
  • FISK: Are you suddenly concerning yourself with my welfare and the consequences that would come from me helping you? Even for a medical professional this seems beyond the norm.
  • DOC: At this point, my preservation is paramount to anything else on my mind.
  • FISK: I can see this was a waste of my time. door opens Consider this business offer rescinded. throws Doc out door closes & car continues driving
  • DOC: rolling sound effects & groans Tuck and roll saves another life… and yet I’m still no closer to finding answers, or someone to help me.
  • SQUIRREL GIRL: Is that you, Doc?
  • DOC: Doreen?
  • SG: Hey, how are you?
  • DOC: Not so good… like literally, not good at all.
  • SG: That’s a bummer. Wanna talk about it?
  • DOC: You mean you don’t know?
  • SG: Oh of course I know, it’s the big story right now on Chitter.
  • DOC: Chitter?
  • SG: It’s the social media network for squirrels. They actually came up with the name before Twitter, but no one will let squirrels own a trademark, and the bird lobbyists got involved, it got really messy.
  • DOC: Riiiiiight.
  • SG: Anyway, you’re going through a pretty rough time, and I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry you’re hurting. Like you say, it’s not your fault but it is your problem.
  • DOC: Thanks. It’s actually nice to talk to someone today who’s not super pissed at me for what I said in their file. Assuming you read what I wrote…
  • SG: I did. I have to say I understood why you said what you did, and I appreciate your honesty.
  • DOC: Oh?
  • SG: Yeah. I stepped back from the babysitting thing a bit. It was getting to be a bit much with everything else going on.
  • DOC: I’m glad to hear it.
  • SG: Cut back from 40 hours a week to 39.
  • DOC: That’s it?
  • SG: Yeah, and let me tell you it was rough. Didn’t know what to do with that hour, all that free time was crazy. So I opted to volunteer at a soup kitchen.
  • DOC: I…
  • SG: Feels good to give back. But enough about me. You’re still struggling with the whole personal data leak thing.
  • DOC: Yup. And I am so glad that I have your super powered support. Right? Right?
  • SG: Oh I’d love to help, but I don’t know the first thing about computers and stuff. I mean, I still have a flip phone. And my squirrel friends, well… there are a LOT of them, but they can’t chew through all that fiber optic cable. You realize how much property damage that would cause?
  • DOC: Thank you for the practicality. To be candid, I just don’t know what in the hell I’m supposed to do.
  • SPAWN: You know what they say, speak the Devil’s name and he shall appear.
  • DOC: Whatgets sucked into hell AAAAAHHHHHH
  • SG: yells after him Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful!
  • SPAWN: Welcome to Hell, Doc.
  • DOC: AHHH GET ME OUTTA HERE
  • SPAWN: No sense screaming, no one down here can hear or help you.
  • DOC: IT’S NOT FOR THEM, IT’S FOR ME. WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE?
  • SPAWN: I felt this place was actually less judgmental than being above right now.
  • DOC: Much as I appreciate the gesture, I need to get out of here.
  • SPAWN: What’s that old chestnut of advice, when you’re in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
  • DOC: That… actually makes a lot of sense. But I still have to find a way to address what’s going on up there, and staying in Hell is making it worse. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d have to say…
  • SPAWN: I understand. Well, I tried. Hopefully that counts for something. Both with you and whoever else is keeping score.
  • DOC: Appreciate it.
  • SPAWN: So let me just hit roar AHH!
  • DOC: What?
  • SPAWN: Malebolgia is back. He’s still pissed off after the last time I killed him. You need to go, now!
  • DOC: So send me back up there!
  • SPAWN: I can’t right now, it’s a lengthy process and I can’t afford to keep myself vulnerable that long. You’ll have to find another way. Now RUN!
  • DOC: Oh my god oh my god oh my god… Eeeh… I just need to find a friendly face here…
  • CONSTANTINE: How about a familiar one?
  • DOC: JOHN? What are you doing here?
  • CONSTANTINE: Oh, a little of this, little of that… bigger question is what are YOU doing here?
  • DOC: Spawn dragged me down here and then he got attacked and I started running and I need to get out of here and PLEASE HELP.
  • CONSTANTINE: And why should I help you? After all, you thought I sounded like a bad Beatle impersonator.
  • DOC: What? How? That wasn’t in the file.
  • CONSTANTINE: Not every truth is written down, love.
  • DOC: Whatever, I will wear a Liverpool jersey to my next session, I don’t care. GET ME OUTTA HERE.
  • CONSTANTINE: That’s the spirit. Before you go, indulge me. When you walk through a storm…
  • DOC: NOW!
  • CONSTANTINE: Alright, we’ll sing later. This’ll just take a moment, love. Nicoreen siagos acasha… magical sound effects
  • DOC: gasp panting... to self that was not fun. OK, Doc, what’s the next step? Because I feel like I’ve been at this forever and I’m still no closer to finding an answer.
  • CATWOMAN: Maybe I can help?
  • DOC: Selina? Why?
  • CATWOMAN: You know me, I like to whip up a solution to a problem. cracks whip
  • DOC: As much as I love puns, this is NOT the time. So either help me, or get out of my way.
  • CATWOMAN: Oh, so serious all of a sudden. You’re almost as bad as Bruce.
  • DOC: Look, if you’re going to make jokes-
  • CATWOMAN: Fine. I can hack into a couple of mainframes and shut down major Internet pathways. It’s not a complete solution, but it will help stop the spread.
  • DOC: That’s… one of the first helpful ideas I’ve heard all day.
  • CATWOMAN: You’re very welcome.
  • DOC: Why do I feel like there’s a catch here?
  • CATWOMAN: Why Doctor, you wound me with your implication.
  • DOC: It’s sore because it hits the spot.
  • CATWOMAN: UGH. OK. Your office is directly above a financial trading company. They have extensive resources, but they’re taking advantage of a local indigent community and forcing them out so they can build another bland high-rise. I need you to get me into the building so I can… obtain some leverage over them.
  • DOC: So you take care of my immediate professional quandary and place me squarely in the middle of another one? I don’t see how this works out in my favor.
  • CATWOMAN: C’mon, I scratch your back, you scratch mine. And my claws know how to dig deep.
  • SHE-HULK: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that sounds like a setup for blackmail, plus possible RICO charges for conspiracy. Not to mention the clear B&E, likely burglary… I mean the felony charges alone would eat up about 7 of those 9 lives you’ve got, right?
  • DOC: I don’t say this often, but I’m glad to see a lawyer hanging around. Thanks Jen.
  • CATWOMAN: Goddamn lawyers ruin everything. You’re no fun.
  • SHE-HULK: You’re calling ME no fun? That’s a first. At least since Aaron stopped writing me. Also, that’s a pretty rich statement coming from someone dressed like Judi Dench’s body double.
  • CATWOMAN: Such a low blow. I expected more from you.
  • SHE-HULK: Sorry to disappoint. If you leave now, I’ll make sure they drop the charges. Keep talking, though, and I’ll be ethically bound to cooperate with the investigation. The ass-kicking will just be a bonus.
  • CATWOMAN: This is why no one likes lawyers. You’re all the same.
  • SHE-HULK: All the same? I’m eight feet tall and green. Aside from my cousin, who else is even remotely close to me?
  • DOC: OK, I think I’m gonna go and let you two sort this out.
  • CATWOMAN: Green Giant jingle Ho ho ho…
  • SHE-HULK: Oh, that is IT. The heels are coming off…
  • DOC: Later, ladies. sound of actual catfight in background Let’s try Bruce again… dialing teleportation sound WHAT? NO!
  • MOJO: And here’s the star of our show, ladies and gentlemen! Doctor Issues himself!
  • DOC: MOJO! Are you fu-
  • MOJO: Hey, watch the language, Doc, this is a primetime show. Gotta keep it family friendly.
  • DOC: What show are you talking about?
  • MOJO: Why, Doc on the Run, of course! It’s the hottest new reality show in the Mojoverse! We’ve been watching you this whole time. Gotta say, loving all the twists and turns so far. But it’s starting to feel a little stale at this point. I mean, how many times can you run into patients of yours who offer nothing but cliched phrases or try to kill you? You have to keep your audience guessing what’s going to happen, but stunt casting only really works during sweeps.
  • DOC: This isn’t a reality show, this is real life! I don’t give a damn about your ratings!
  • MOJO: Of course you think it is. That’s why your delivery is so great. But I’m not loving that last line. It’s fine, we’ll have the writers come up with something and you’ll record an ADR session during editing. Gotta punch it up. Maybe curse a bit, we’ll bleep you out and use it in the commercial. Oh, and speaking of punching, let’s see what we can do about getting you involved in the fisticuffs. No sense in having everyone else fight around you, let’s see how well you can hold your own in a fight.
  • DOC: I don’t have time for this. And I’m certainly not fighting for your amusement.
  • MOJO: Oh, but don’t you realize, Doc? EVERYTHING is for our amusement. Your fans adore you. Like this charming young fellow attached to his phone over here. Tell Doc how much you love his work.
  • FAN: Pleeeasssee… killlll meeee…
  • MOJO: Ungrateful whelp! I’ll have you executed. But slowly, it’ll be a miniseries. Anyway, back to Doc, let’s knock down this fourth wall and see what you’re made of. shatter Wait, that’s not supposed to happen! Quick, get a camera over there and see what’s going on! Camera 3, whip pan right now!
  • SUPERBOY PRIME: This isn’t Earth Prime…
  • MOJO: Oh boy, ladies and germs, we’ve got an unexpected development here. Some jackass wearing a Superman costume has arrived. Say, lad, this is a closed set.
  • PRIME: I don’t know who the hell you are, but no one orders me around.
  • MOJO: This is MY show, and I’m the one giving orders here.
  • PRIME: What kinda world is this where people take orders from an overweight half cyborg spider thing?
  • MOJO: THIS IS THE MOJOVERSE! And it’s where you die!
  • DOC: Lemme jump through this portal real quick. YOINK! teleportation sound OK. No fighting, no Mojo, no Superboy Prime, so this is already a plus.
  • EEYORE: Hello there.
  • DOC: GAH!
  • EEYORE: You’re awfully loud.
  • DOC: Eeyore?
  • EEYORE: Hi Doctor.
  • DOC: How did I end up in the Hundred Acre Wood? And why don’t you seem shocked?
  • EEYORE: Don’t know. I was just sitting here because I was supposed to have lunch with everyone. But it seems like they forgot me. Again. At least someone is here to talk to me.
  • DOC: I’m very sorry. However, I have bigger things to deal with right now, so I need to find a way out of here.
  • EEYORE: It’s fine. Go ahead and leave. Everyone else has forgotten about me. You’re no different.
  • DOC: No, it’s not that, it’s just… sigh. Maybe this is all a test. Maybe I should be taking the time to help others, and that’s how I’ll end up getting helped myself. So, Eeyore, let’s take a sec and chat.
  • EEYORE: You mean it?
  • DOC: I do. I could use a break from the insanity for a moment. Let’s just talk about whatever you want.
  • EEYORE: Thanks Doc. Well, yesterday I thought I’d lost my tail again.
  • DOC: That sounds unfortunate. Did you find it?
  • EEYORE: Yep.
  • DOC: That’s great. Where was it?
  • EEYORE: Pinned to my hind end.
  • DOC: Oh.
  • EEYORE: Yup. Spent the whole day looking for it.
  • DOC: I see. beat Is that it?
  • EEYORE: Yup.
  • DOC: You sure there’s nothing else you want to talk about?
  • EEYORE: Well, there is one other thing. You see, I teleportation sound
  • DOC: NO NOT AGAIN!
  • EEYORE: Well s**t.
  • THANOS: Doctor Issues. You created a web of lies and pain, and thought you could escape it. And where did that bring you? Back to me.
  • DOC: Thanos, I-
  • THANOS: Spare me your pitiful speech. You have unleashed a power equal to that of the Infinity Gems. This places you on a level close to me, and this is something I cannot permit to stand. So I have no choice but to kill you.
  • DOC: At this point, I barely have the desire to fight back.
  • THANOS: Oh that’s a shame, because I’ve been looking forward to this for a while, and hearing your cries for mercy would have made victory that much sweeter. As it is I will acknowledge your acceptance. Farewell, Doctor.
  • NEBULA: Not so fast, father.
  • THANOS: Nebula, your betrayal is disappointing but not surprising.
  • NEBULA: YEAAAHHH! Doctor, I have brought you a ship. You can return to Earth.
  • DOC: Great, so I can go back and face all the people who want to kill me.
  • THANOS: I am happy to kill you right now.
  • NEBULA: Hnngghhh… that’s exactly why you have to go back. If Thanos kills you, it will give him pleasure. And I cannot allow that to happen.
  • THANOS: This is not up to you, daughter. I have no qualms about killing you as a precursor to the doctor’s death.
  • NEBULA: Doctor, you must leave. NOW. I will deal with my father. He will be made to suffer, as he did to me.
  • DOC: But I.
  • NEBULA: This is not a request. You did me a favor. Allow me to return it to you.
  • THANOS: You shall not leave, Doctor. I will obtain the Gems once again, and then I will bring you back here!
  • NEBULA: DOCTOR! GO!
  • DOC: Fine. But how do I even operate this thing?
  • NEBULA: It is programmed to warp you back to Earth. Just press the big yellow button.
  • THANOS: NO! I will not be denied!
  • DOC: OK, here goes nothing. button sound spaceship takes off warp sound spaceship door opens I… Hello and welcome to Capes on the Couch, where comics get counseling. I’m Dr. Issues. I just wanted to say to everyone that’s listened to all these episodes. Thank you, I love you all. Through no intention of my own, there have been many things that have happened, I’m sure you’ve heard of them. I want to issue an apology to anyone & everyone. I don’t have the proper words for this. I just, I don’t know what to do. I have no idea how I’m even going to broadcast this, because I’m probably banned from every source possible, and I don’t know how to get this to my cohost. But if anyone hears… breaks down
  • DOOM: CEASE YOUR INCESSANT AND UNNECESSARY TEARS, DOCTOR. YOUR PROBLEM HAS ALREADY BEEN RESOLVED THROUGH THE MIGHT OF DOOM.
  • DOC: sniffles Huh?
  • DOOM: DOOM HAS WIPED ALL TRACES OF THE FILES FROM THE WORLD.
  • DOC: WhahuhwhyhowWHAT?!?!
  • DOOM: YOU ARE NOW ALSO AN HONORARY CITIZEN OF LATVERIA AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE TO RESIDE, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE.
  • DOC: What’s the catch?
  • DOOM: THERE IS NO CATCH. THIS HAS ALREADY BEEN ACCOMPLISHED. DOOM SEEKS NOTHING FURTHER FROM YOU.
  • DOC: I want to say thank you. And I will. But first, WHY?
  • DOOM: MANY THINK DOOM AS TYRANNICAL, INCLUDING YOURSELF. BY THIS GESTURE, DOOM’S MAGNANIMITY WILL BE PRESERVED FOR ALL TIME.
  • DOC: Well, I have to say that-
  • DOOM: AND ALSO BECAUSE RICHARDS WAS UNABLE TO ARRIVE AT A SUPERIOR SOLUTION.
  • DOC: Aaaaand there it is.
  • DOOM: ONCE AGAIN PROVING THAT NONE ARE SUPERIOR TO DOOM.
  • DOC: Of course not.
  • DOOM: MOVING FORWARD, YOUR OPINION OF DOOM WILL BE ONE OF GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION. WHATEVER PREVIOUS OPINION YOU HAD IS NOW IRRELEVANT.
  • DOC: Honestly, at this point, I can’t even disagree with you. But I have to ask, aren’t you concerned about all the people who tried to kill me? I mean, the files are eliminated, but the memories aren’t. People still remember what I said about them. And they’ll know you’re responsible for getting rid of them. They’ll come for you.
  • DOOM: LET THEM TRY. MANY HAVE ATTEMPTED TO USURP DOOM. AND YET DOOM REMAINS.
  • DOC: sigh Yep. Definitely not tyrannical at all.
  • DOOM: DOOM SENSES SOME SARCASM. THIS GESTURE CAN BE UNDONE JUST AS EASILY.
  • DOC: Noted. As a humble citizen of Latveria. My deepest appreciation… my liege.
  • DOOM: YOUR APPRECIATION IS NOTED, GOOD CITIZEN, AND-
  • DOC: Can I just ask one favor?
  • DOOM: YOU DARE ASK MORE OF DOOM THAN HAS ALREADY BEEN PROVIDED?
  • DOC: It’s just… I need to get back home. Surely a simple task like this will not tax the might of Doom.
  • DOOM: FINE. BE GONE AND RETURN HOME. BUT BE SURE TO SPREAD THE WORD THAT DOOM IS THE ONE WHO DID THIS FOR YOU.
  • DOC: Oh don’t worry, I’m telling everybody. Thanks Doc! warp sound effect Hoo boy, that was strange.
  • ANTHONY: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!
  • DOC: Oh man, it was nuts. I tried to call Batman, and then I was dragged to hell by Spawn, and Kingpin had me in his limo, and I was in-
  • ANTHONY: No, I mean this burner phone Batman gave you has been sitting here ringing off the hook the whole time, but I didn’t want to answer it because I figured it might explode, or it was wired to your DNA or something. You know how crafty Batman is.
  • DOC: Are. You. F**king. Kidding. Me.
• Ending
  • Thank yous: Dr. Goku from Guardians MH, Kate from IWB, Lisa from Comic Book Couples Counseling, my sister Angela, Doc’s father, my wife
  • Next episodes: Moon Knight 2, Elsa Bloodstone, Holding Out for a Hero
  • Plugs for social

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Grab your Ouija board, because we're talking to KLAUS HARGREEVES! How can the Seance make a better connection with the living instead of the dead? Tune in to find out!

• Intro
  • We’re back! Thanks for all your kind words & thoughts
  • New Patron - Austin!
  • Reminder of AMA for 150

• Background (3:35)

  • Number Four (The Seance/Klaus Hargreeves) created by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba in The Umbrella Academy #1
  • Go back to Issue 130 for a look at Number Five
  • The Umbrella Academy is a team of seven superpowered children, born to women who previously showed no signs of pregnancy - all adopted by Dr. Reginald Hargreeves, a wealthy philanthropist (secretly an alien)
  • Vol. 1 - Apocalypse Suite - Klaus introduced as part of the team, a group of 10 year old children who stop the Eiffel Tower from destroying the world 20 years ago - in the present, their adoptive father Dr. Hargreeves dies, and the team reunites to bury and mourn him
  • Their adoptive sister Vanya, long thought to be the only non-powered member of the team, turns out to be the most powerful, and undergoes surgery to enhance her powers of weaponizing sound - the team bands together to stop her, and Klaus channels Dr. Hargreeves and Igor Stravinsky as part of the plan before using his telekinetic ability to stop pieces of the moon from slamming into Earth
  • Vol. 2 - Dallas - Klaus is captured by agents from the Temps Aeternalis, an organization overseeing time travel, in an attempt to find his brother Number Five, and murdered - he doesn’t stay dead, however, returning to possess the agents and kill them in revenge (God kicks him out of Heaven)
  • He, Spaceboy, and the Kraken all travel back in time to Vietnam to stop Number Five from assassinating JFK and irrevocably altering history, but then have to stop the agents from also killing Number Five
  • Vol. 3 - Hotel Oblivion - Klaus is essentially a junkie being pimped out by a biker gang, who uses his ability to scam people into talking to their deceased relatives about hidden money, and then the gang leaders dig it up - Klaus turns on the abusers - he then joins his siblings in battling villains that escaped from an interdimensional prison built by their father - the volume ends with the team encountering the Sparrow Academy, a rival group of similarly powered “siblings”

• Issues - Theme is detachment (8:17)

  • Living surrounded by dead people
  • Drug use as a coping mechanism (15:24)
  • Relationship with siblings constantly strained, both by his own actions and those of the team, but he’s always one of the most “loyal” members of the team (22:30)
• Break (27:59)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Hops Geek, and Gail Simone
• Treatment (30:11)
  • In-universe -
  • Out of universe - (33:22) Focus on getting the drug use addressed first, then address childhood trauma
• Skit (41:32)
  • DOC: Hello Klaus, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • KLAUS: Hello Doctor, pleased to meet you.
  • DOC: So what can I help you with?
  • KLAUS: I’m not sure. I don’t know if you can help me. Not your fault, just that I don’t think even a mental health professional can comprehend what I’m all about.
  • DOC: I’m not pretending to be an expert in everything, but I’m a relatively fast learner. Try me.
  • KLAUS: Ever been in a war?
  • DOC: No
  • KLAUS: Ever levitated?
  • DOC: No, but I’ve been around some people who can fly.
  • KLAUS: Ever shot up?
  • DOC: Can’t say that I have.
  • KLAUS: Come On! I was giving you an easy one.
  • DOC: I work with peer counselors all of the time; I’m not going to lie to placate your sensibilities. I know it’s not the same thing.
  • KLAUS: I’m not one for those “blank” A meetings anyway
  • DOC: Which ones? AA, NA?
  • KLAUS: Yes.
  • DOC: I see. It’s interesting that you seem most closed off about the substance use when you also mentioned physical conflicts and the supernatural.
  • KLAUS: Oh no, I don’t hide that either. I’m just tired of my abilities being used as a cheap parlor trick, or worse yet, as a way to scam money out of well-intentioned but clueless people.
  • DOC: Indeed. Entertaining a person doesn’t garner their attention the same as having a conversation. I will say though, that the two don’t have to be separate.
  • KLAUS: Well I don’t “entertain” as much as “shock the hell out of” people, but I get your point. No, I can strike a balance. That’s where the dynamic shifts. You think talking to someone in trouble is speaking to their soul. Man, I SPEAK TO THEIR SOUL.
  • DOC: What kind of lessons have you learned from that?
  • KLAUS: Their regrets, mostly. Even the dead can still worry. I bet there’s some you’d like-
  • DOC: Don’t go there.
  • KLAUS: Oh…some sort of magical sound Oh. I see. Well, that’s awkward.
  • DOC: Not as much as you’d think. Us mere mortals may not delve into that realm as frequently as you, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a connection. Every. Single. Day. Even just for a few moments.
  • KLAUS: Humor helps.
  • DOC: Don’t I know it! Is that your go-to coping mechanism?
  • KLAUS: Plenty, but it’s a quick fix. No, the problem, I think, is that there’s no way to “move on” for me. Folks like you get that transition and go about your business. I’m just the chump that gets the feedback loop when others pass along. Gotta dampen that somehow.
  • DOC: That’s a common plight among those who suffer from addiction
  • KLAUS: It’s not all suffering, I
  • DOC: interruptingYou enjoy it until you can’t, yeah I realize that. What’s your motivation to change?
  • KLAUS: pause I want to see where this goes.
  • DOC: I don’t have a particular agenda for how many sessions
  • KLAUS: interrupting No, I mean ALL of this. It’s a lot, man. I get put in spots where I’m expected to call on some sort of “great wisdom through the ages” but I just want to listen to some music. Notice the little things. Be trivial. That’s not as bad as it seems. My family, they get bogged down with saving the world when they can’t save themselves. Dad was…well, whatever the hell he was. That’s what I’ve learned from the dead.
  • DOC: That’s…more than I care to imagine. I try to put myself in someone else’s shoes, but you…I don’t even know where to begin.
  • KLAUS: Yeah, it’s a trip. That’s where all the… substances come in. Help clear my head. I figure if I have to see all kindsa weird stuff, at least I can do it to myself.
  • DOC: I can’t even ask “why the pain?” Because it’s obvious. Maybe a slight tweak. What do you FOR yourself?
  • KLAUS: I just told you.
  • DOC: Nope. You said TO yourself; as if your existence is a trivial one that can be used as a plaything. Just how important is your life compared to others?
  • KLAUS: I mean, what difference does it make about the value of my life? I’ve come back from the dead at least twice, so clearly life and death don’t mean a whole helluva lot to me. And my siblings, well… I… “love” them, I guess. The world would be a lot worse off without them.
  • DOC: So you show grace to those you love, but not to yourself, because you’ve had an experience that’s different from their own, AND YET, you view your unique experience as a negative to your self worth. That’s what you’re telling me? I don’t buy it.
  • KLAUS: Oh, our experiences are negatives to all of us. Not one of us is happy for what we’ve been through. My point is just that compared to them, I’m somehow less well adjusted. I mean, it’s what it is. I’m just calling it like I see it. Not looking for pity or anything, that ship sailed a long time ago.
  • DOC: Are these the things you told yourself when you died?
  • KLAUS: Which time? But seriously, I’m just trying to do the best with the cards I’ve been dealt. You a poker player?
  • DOC: For the sake of rapport…yes.
  • KLAUS: So I’ve got a three-eight offsuit. Flop came down Men’s Wearhouse, all faces. I’m looking for a runner-runner and praying to pull trips. That’s my daily existence. Get the picture?
  • DOC: Yup. But there’s so much you’re not saying that’s vital to the hand. What’s your position at the table? What are the stacks? Plus, you have a “cheater’s edge” in your pocket. You’re worried about what the dealer is going to think if you use inside information, not to mention the interactions that you have that can either bluff or intimidate the weak lays. There is so much more than basic math that would allow for you to come out with a fighting chance.
  • KLAUS: Hmph. Fair points, Amarillo Doc.I suppose I can do a better job of reading the players at the table. Any suggestions?
  • DOC: Start with yourself. Know your tells. Don’t telegraph everything at once and wonder why everyone pushes you around with a bad hand. You have an ability that gets to see the turn and river over and over after the hand is done. Use that in how you deal with others.
  • KLAUS: And I suppose you’ll recommend I do this all with a clear head?
  • DOC: Well, NO S**T.
  • KLAUS: I can’t promise it’ll be all the time. But I suppose I can take a break from time to time and get a better handle on things. Now that we’re done with that, ever done shrooms?
  • DOC: I’ll tell you what I tell most folks: Just say no to most drugs.
  • KLAUS: Well if you ever wanna take a trip with me, you know where to find me.
• Ending (62:11)
  • Recommended reading: Vol. 3 is heavily focused on Klaus
  • Next episodes: 150th episode, Moon Knight redux, Elsa Bloodstone
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Number Five episode - Anthony (3:56)
• Miss Minutes/Loki - Anthony (6:20)

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Since the debut of Moon Knight last week, I've received several requests asking me when I was going to give my thoughts on the show. You know how long I've been waiting?

Since August 23, 2019. Not many moments are seared into my brain, but I can recall with precise specificity where I was and what I was doing when I learned there would be a Moon Knight series on Disney+. I was sitting in my son's room while my wife was feeding him and rocking him to sleep. Sitting on the floor, my phone started buzzing like crazy, because the announcement had just been made, and social media was doing what social media does - creating trending topics on Twitter. I checked my phone, because sitting in the dark with them was not the most thrilling thing in the world, and when I saw my notifications, I started jumping up & down and whisper-yelling. After my wife threatened to decapitate me if I woke up a 4.5 month old baby, I left the room and immediately began reading everything I could. I also checked in with my fellow Loonies to gauge feedback and interest. Needless to say, it was quite a thrill to hear, and I was on pins & needles, waiting for some any leak or confirmation of a release date.

Then the trailer dropped. I wasn't going to sit through a football game I didn't care about just to watch the trailer, but I knew it would be online within seconds of airing on TV. I sat in my office, on the computer, waiting for the footage on YouTube.

I waited over ten years of MK fandom, and over two years after the formal announcement of the series, for THAT?!?! The voice? The costume? The... whatever the hell Ethan Hawke was doing? I said in the Into the Knight Discord channel that I felt nausea in the pit of my stomach, and equated it to how longtime Fantastic Four fans must have felt after the 2015 Fant4stic crapfest. In the days that followed, I tried to explain my dissatisfaction to people, along with my fandom bonafides, and said that I was fine with other people enjoying it, but it wasn't any version of Moon Knight that I recognized. (I was also accused, not unfairly, of gatekeeping; the insinuation being that I was a "true" MK fan and everyone who enjoyed it didn't "understand" him.) My concerns stemmed from the fact that he has a simple but recognizable costume & origin story, along with his alters/identities, and nothing in the trailer struck me as faithful (with the exception of Khonshu, who looked riveting and horrifying as well he should). I was under the impression that since Moonie wasn't/isn't well-known among the general public in a way that Spider-Man/Cap/Wolverine et. al. are, Marvel felt it was acceptable to change his character to make him more suitable for mass consumption. I felt betrayed, annoyed, and angry. I was going to watch the series, but it was going to take a lot to convince me that Oscar Isaac and company knew what they were doing.

Long story short: I'm still not entirely on board. What I will say is that this single episode is a compelling hour of television. Oscar is a dynamite actor, able to reveal depths to his character(s) with minimal dialogue. I appreciate the completely different physical changes he brings to Steven and Marc, to say nothing of the voice - it harkens back to the Christopher Reeve Superman movies in the way he played Clark & Superman. Khonshu is still a force, and F. Murray Abraham's vocal performance isn't exactly what I have in mind when I read him in the books, but it's not so far afield that it's jarring - he definitely is amping up the petulant dickish nature that has become Khonshu's calling card over the past few years.

And the way the show portrays the time jumps while Steven blacks out and comes to is the greatest storytelling conceit the MCU has ever used to date - it allows them to "show not tell" while simultaneously not showing anything. (It also allows them to get incredibly violent without depicting the violence in action. "MoOn KnIgHt NeEdS vIoLeNcE..." Moonie isn't the Punisher nor Spider-Man, but try telling anyone whose only exposure to MK is the Huston/Finch run that wanton violence isn't inherent to the character. Go back and read the OG Moench/Sienkiewicz run - you can do an entire series with those stories and barely scratch a PG-13 rating.)

My biggest complaint is that it seems that Jeremy Slater/Mohamed Diab/Oscar Isaac/etc. had a very specific story they wanted to tell about a man struggling with mental health issues. And from all accounts, it looks to be a fascinating story. But I would rather they tell an original story, and go where they want to go (or where the story organically compels them), than try to cram the story into a Moon Knight box. It's as though they wrote the story a while ago, and when they signed on to do MK, they dusted it off, made a few changes, and called it a Moon Knight show.

There's nothing recognizable whatsoever about Steven Grant in this series as compared to his comics rendition. Steven is the "cool" alter, the suave one, the Hollywood schmoozer. (Make one comparison to the Distinguished Competition's orphan with a Chiroptera fetish and his alter ego, and I'll slap you.) This version of Steven is every Hugh Grant caricature come to life.

Arthur Harrow encapsulates my complaint perfectly - a completely original character who happens to share the name with a one-off villain from a single comic. Ethan Hawke is a fantastic actor, and I'm glad he's likely getting more money from this series than he'd make in a lifetime of Linklater movies. But again, nothing about this says Moon Knight.

And lastly, the costume. Look, Moon Knight has had some awesome costumes over the years, drawn by some legendary talents - Sienkiewicz, Finch, Maleev, Shalvey, Smallwood. Whether it's the classic all white/silver getup, the roided out Finch version with the spiked gauntlets, the Shalvey redesign with the black base and white accents, or even the Mr. Knight snazzy suit, it's immediately apparent who's wearing it. What I saw at the end of this episode should have been called Sailor Moon Knight. Or Ragman. I was half expecting a camera rotation around him while the costume enveloped him, and he finished with a peace sign and "YATTA!"

If you're looking for a rating, lemme break it down like this. As a series premiere of a show about a man with dissociative identity disorder, I give it a 8.5/10. As a show about Moon Knight, I give it a 3/10.

Random thoughts:

• Harrow putting glass in his shoes in the opening scene made my wife yell out "WHY?"
• Speaking of my wife, I normally have to wait to watch D+ shows until we can watch them together. For this show, due to the special nature, I have been given special dispensation to watch without her. Which meant I watched this episode for the first time about 5:30 AM, lying in bed, on my phone. I appreciate her so much.
• Two needle drops before a word of dialogue - if I didn't know better, I'd think this was a James Gunn production.
• Is Donna the real villain here?
• So much has been said about the dodgy CGI during the truck chase - I won't belabor the point, but c'mon, Disney, you've got more money than God. Instead of paying politicians who back anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, put that money to good use and pay for more/better SFX artists. Just a suggestion.
• Appreciate the Frenchie easter egg - note that it was the 32nd missed call, and as we all know MK and Frenchie debuted in Werewolf by Night #32.
• If Marc is supposed to be in control while Steven is out, how does the body keep putting Steven in situations where he wakes up randomly? Does Marc get on the bus and hope Steven comes to before he gets to the museum? Is Marc the one who asked whats-her-name to the steakhouse?
• Very bold of the show to reference the Armenian genocide. The review bombs from brainwashed Turks proves my point.
• WHY would he go looking for that jackal thing?

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Taking a hiatus for a few weeks after Doc's mom passed away. Appreciate the support & understanding.

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It's an hour of silence as we examine the Inhuman king BLACK BOLT! Just kidding, you know neither of us can shut up for that long… listen now!

• Intro
  • Get in those questions for 150th AMA
  • Go back & listen to episode 68 on Medusa for better understanding of the dynamic

• Background (1:44)

  • Black Bolt (Blackagar Boltagon) created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in Fantastic Four #45 (Dec. 1965)
  • Black Bolt is the Inhuman king - exposed to Terrigen Mists as an embryo, his voice has the ability to create massive, destructive waves of energy - he was placed in a soundproof chamber and taught to control his voice, even while sleeping
  • Reenters Inhuman society at nineteen, and his brother Maximus makes a deal with the Kree to take over - Black Bolt shouts at the Kree ship, which crashes on the Inhuman parliament, killing his parents - the sound also drives Maximus mad, and he swears revenge on Black Bolt
  • He ends up engaged to his distant cousin Medusa, who would visit him in confinement, and they fell in love
  • He and Medusa oversee the assimilation of Inhumans into the larger world, and engage with many heroes and villains in the universe
  • Had a child with Medusa, in defiance of the Genetic Council, who believed his bloodline was too dangerous to continue - he gave up his crown to be with his son
  • Regained the crown and helped the Inhumans resettle on the Blue Area of the Moon
  • Was a member of the Illuminati, a secret group of highly intelligent & powerful individuals that attempted to manipulate events from behind the scenes - came to the forefront in World War Hulk when they exiled Hulk from the planet, and he came back seeking revenge (later revealed that this was actually a Skrull imposter, and the real Black Bolt had been kidnapped some time before)
  • Played a major role in Infinity, as he was the one who discovered Thanos’ plan to kill his son Thane
  • Inhumans vs. X-Men - Black Bolt’s use of his sonic scream on Cyclops is what kicked off the major war (it was actually a mental projection of Cyclops created by Emma Frost, as Scott had died due to exposure to the Terrigen Mists)
  • Death of the Inhumans - has his throat slit by Vox, but still able to use his scream to escape imprisonment and joined the Royal Family in attacking the Kree - this permanently damaged his voice, however

• Issues - Theme is communication (6:00)

  • Black Bolt. Blackagar Boltagon. From the first time I read the classic Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four run, he has always fascinated me. The basic building block of social interaction among humans -- and insofar as we know -- Inhumans, is speech. From a philosophical standpoint, there is no organized society without verbal communication. It's everything. It is the singular most important element that serves to bring people together to work as one for a common purpose. So you take a person who -- it's not like he's unable to speak through deafness from birth restricting his ability to absorb what speech should sound like, or throat cancer or an injury to the larynx or something similar preventing his vocal cords from functioning properly. He is fully capable of exercising that most basic tenement of social interaction, but if he utters even the slightest whisper, even by accident, if he coughs or sneezes, he can destroy everything and everyone around him. There's no established canon limit on what the power of his voice can actually accomplish, but everyone pretty much understands even the slightest sound from him is potentially catastrophic. As if going through life from birth having to engage in so much rigorous physical and psychological training to never utter a sound -- not even accidentally in your sleep -- wouldn't create enough issues for you, let's add onto that: you're the king of an entire race of people, entrusted with all of the responsibilities of governing and the expectations of leadership that entails. Oh, and you accidentally killed the primary support system you had in your parents when you found your brother forging a pact with the aliens who were directly responsible for your powers and understandably lashed out. Ho -- lee -- crap. How the man didn't become a gibbering wreck with a death wish as soon as he was old enough to fully grasp all this is the stuff of miracles. I think the fact that Black Bolt even functions at all, much less as well as he does given the circumstances, is a testament to just how well the guy's got it all together.
  • Let's just try to run down what I'm sure is not a complete list of this man's issues:
  • 1) Severe isolation. Your terrigenesis turned you into a potential weapon of mass destruction on a civilization-ending scale. You spent most of your life from that point on having to be in complete isolation from others and undergoing rigorous physical and psychological training to never utter the slightest of sounds with your voice, even by accident. Just communicating yourself, your feelings, your wants, and your needs to other people is a grueling exercise at best. You have to constantly make yourself understood to others in a way that they typically don't. Think of all the things this implies.
  • 2) Crippling guilt at the very real consequences your powers have brought. You don't have to imagine what will happen if you slip up. You know full well. You killed your parents with your voice. You didn't mean to, it was an accident, but it happened. You have a family, you have a wife, you have people that you care about who absolutely will be reduced to a fine pink mist by a weapon that is of your person, your very essence of being, that you have almost no control over. That is a gorgon that will haunt your soul forever. (15:32)
  • 3) Overwhelming responsibility. You are not just trying to function as a part of a society you can't realistically fit into. You are its king. Every one of your people looks to you for leadership, and you have to run your society and make your wishes known without being able to easily communicate them. When you have to have a conversation with other people where you don't know what you're going to have to communicate in advance, you are fully reliant on others that you have to place your trust in to communicate for you. With all of the lack of nuance that implies. You don't just not have a physical voice, you don't have a metaphorical one either. It's Medusa, or Professor X, or someone else you have a psychic connection with acting on your behalf. That's terrifying on a deep personal level. (26:29)
  • Like I said, the fact that this man functions at all is a great credit to his incredible mental fortitude.
• Break (35:25)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Frigay the 13th, and Al Ewing
• Treatment (37:27)
  • In-universe - Bring him to pocket universe that neutralizes Black Bolt’s voice to allow him to speak in his own words
  • Out of universe - What does a therapist do with a patient that is mute by choice?
    • The real-world parallels, we talked about before. Deaf, hard of hearing, and mute people. Stroke victims. People with throat cancer or something else that necessitates an electronic voicebox. Hell, I'll even go so far as people residing in a country where they don't speak the prevailing language, and are reliant upon interpreters to perform basic interactions with others. It can be a constant, nonstop, terrifying journey through life when you just can't communicate with others on your own. And like I said, I plead ignorance, but I assume noncommunicative people need psychological counseling. I just have no idea how that's done, when verbal communication is such a vital part of the process. (43:41)
• Skit (feat. Anna from Freudian Sips) (50:14)
  • DOC: Hello Black Bolt, I’m Dr. Issues. And hello again Medusa, thanks for joining us to interpret. Normally I don’t do this, but given the… unique communication barriers here, it’s helpful to have someone here.
  • MEDUSA: Of course, Doctor, good to see you again as well. Black Bolt and I appreciate you taking the time to speak to us.
  • D: Please understand, no offense, but this is not meant to be a couples’ session. As an interpreter, your role is to make sure that Black Bolt’s statements are provided as clear as possible. Therefore, I will be speaking and looking at him directly while you assist us. If there is anything that needs clarification, please let me know.
  • M: slightly irritated, but polite Yes, of course, Doctor. pause Black Bolt says thank you.
  • D: Great. Now, what can I help you with today?
  • M: Black Bolt says he wants to make strides with the world at large…without disrupting his personal life.
  • D: That sounds reasonable, albeit a bit vague. I’m aware that you have a large role in your kingdom. Is there a particular aspect of your job that you’re struggling with?
  • M: Black Bolt says that he detests the notion that society can’t fix it’s own ills. pause My apologies, he says that he wants… others to have more participation and involvement… so he doesn’t have to carry most of the burden… himself.
  • D: That makes sense. I emphasize appropriate delegation all of the time. Is there something that prevents you from having the kind of balance you envision?
  • M: He says there are… too many functions to go through on a daily basis… that are set to the royal family by default. Tradition weighs us all down. aside Especially his wife.
  • D: Well, based on what I know, although there is still a right to confidentiality for the details, I can say that dovetails well with your personal relationships.
  • M: Black Bolt says that he…is thankful…someone finally understands…wait, I’m sorry, I need to start over. Black Bolt says he is thankful I finally understand him better now.
  • D: Huh?
  • M: Black Bolt wants to focus on… the loss of his free time. He is draining himself to serve… the people and serve his family.
  • D: Oh…that took a bit of a turn. I’m sorry that things have been such a struggle. What are your coping mechanisms for recovery?
  • M: Black Bolt says he enjoys time for…literature, and…taking walks with me.
  • D: Aww, that’s so kind…but he’s shooting you a glare right now. What’s up?
  • M: He says that is not quite what he meant. He…likes…walking…alone…thinking about me. I apologize, he’s going so fast now, it’s hard to keep up.
  • D: You seem very angry. Do we need to take a break?
  • M: I’m just fine, doctor.
  • D: I meant Black Bolt. Like I said, please just tell me what he is saying.
  • M: Black Bolt says that…THINGS…aren’t the way they are supposed to be right now. This is…slightly frustrating…If I weren’t his queen I would be…somewhere less pleasant at the moment.
  • D: Are you…are you censoring him? I would strongly advise you not to do that for the sake of any hope of progress.
  • M: We apologize…as in, the royal we, because I have done nothing wrong…Black Bolt wishes to have an independent…NO.
  • D: An independent what?
  • M: An independent…point of view on how his emotions can be controlled OH MY!
  • D: Well, I recognize what THAT finger means. It’s obvious there’s a breakdown here. Perhaps we all could use a time out.
  • M: No, let’s continue speaking. clearly directed at Black Bolt After all, it’s good to get things off one’s chest, right dear?
  • BLACK BOLT: snort gust of wind, small amounts of damage
  • D: No words necessary. And I DO mean that literally. Let’s try this one more time
  • M: Black Bolt says-
  • D: interrupting Nope. No way. I see where this is going. I was a fool to think this wasn’t a couples’ session. No interpreter. Black Bolt…sir. I have no problem with you as a patient. But I also realize that I have put you in the most awkward situation imaginable. I’m sorry. We have to find another way to do this. I know you can write. Maybe secure email and text instead? Less hassle this way.
  • M: Black Bolt says he…wants to keep trying…wait…keep trying how? I don’t know how that works.
  • D: What is it?
  • M: So, this is me talking…he wants to make sure that you know I mean well, but tell you how I felt after my last session with you. But, I don’t want to make it about me. That’s not the point.
  • D: So he’s asking you something. That’s fine. Ultimately, it’s up to you.
  • M: Black Bolt says this interaction is a microcosm of how he feels every day. Bottled up, locking away a part of him that no one ever gets to know because it’s too dangerous. He…has to be a statesman as well as a man of action, without a proper outlet. He…oh.
  • D: What?
  • M: He wonders if that’s what childhood was supposed to be.
  • D: I don’t have an answer for that. Your experience is so beyond what I could imagine. To have someone be your voice from day one, always refied, monitored, scrutinized, manipulated, and yet bearing witness to the multitude of variance that humans and Inhumans have likely described, knowing full well that would never be your lot in anything that goes on. That’s strength…but also the potential for agony. You’re quite the being, Black Bolt. The definition of life’s beautiful struggle, and I thank you for what you endure.
  • M: Black Bolt says…wait…he…Doctor I can’t…I won’t interpret what he is saying.
  • D: Um…did I do something to offend him?
  • M: No, please understand, what is about to happen is in a perverse way the highest honor he can bestow upon you, and we have means to make amends.
  • D: I have no clue what you’re talking about.
  • M: I’ll let him explain for himself.
  • D: For hims… WAIT WHAT?
  • BB: whisper thank you explosion sound effect
  • D: I truly appreciate the definition of peace and quiet, now more than ever.
• Ending (57:15)
  • Recommended reading: Original Inhumans introduction in Fantastic Four - the Lee/Kirby stories are the best; also the Paul Jenkins/Jae Lee Inhumans run
  • Next episodes: Echo, 150th Episode Special, 4 from Umbrella Academy
  • Plugs for social

References:

• The Menagerie (Star Trek: The Original Series) - Anthony (44:32)

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Log in as we dissect CYBORG! What upgrades can Doc offer him that he can't download himself? Listen now to find out!

• Intro
  • Reminder to send questions for AMA 150

• Background (1:34)

  • Cyborg (Victor Stone) created by Marv Wolfman and George Perez in DC Comics Presents #26 (Oct 1980)
  • Victor Stone is the son of two scientists, who use him as a test subject for intelligence experiments - he resents this, and falls in with a dangerous crowd as a way to rebel
  • One of the experiments brings a hostile creature from another dimension into his parents laboratory - the creature kills his mother and gravely injures Victor before his father can return it to its home dimension and close the portal
  • His father then uses bleeding edge experimental technology to save him, at the cost of the majority of his body now being robotic - when Victor awakens, he lashes out at his father, revealing he’d rather be dead than experimented on again without his consent
  • He joins the Teen Titans as a way to find others with common experiences
  • He then merged with an alien artificial intelligence named Technis, which helped him restore his mind, although it turned his body into an entirely cybernetic being named Cyberion, and he had to stay on the Technis planet in order to survive - this experience left him distant from humanity, and when he returned, he assimilated all the technology he could find until he was the size of the moon - he was attacked by the Justice League and the other Titans - Beast Boy was able to reach Victor’s humanity and got him to upload his consciousness to another suit, rendering Technis inoperable
  • Gets dismantled during Infinite Crisis, and it takes almost a year to put him back together
  • New 52 - the explosion in his father’s office is now related to a Mother Box, and Silas uses the technology to save Victor’s life - he now can access the New Gods library and discovers Darkseid is invading Earth in search of the Anti-Life Equation - joins the fight with the Justice League to battle the invaders, and becomes a founding member of the team
  • After the Crime Syndicate (an evil mirror version of the Justice League) invades, Cyborg is taken over by Grid (Earth-3’s Cyborg), which expelled all his organic material - Hal Jordan used the Lantern ring to suspend him until Silas could operate on him and revive him again

• Issues - Theme is tinkering

  • Adjustments to prosthetics
  • Considers acceptance of his form to be equivalent to stagnation (18:59)
  • Relationship with Silas has improved, but still has deep-seated trust issues (28:55)
• Break (38:41)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Not If I Reboot You First, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson
• Treatment (40:43)
  • In-universe - Learn coding to speak his language - has he ever “gone gold”?
  • Out of universe - Multi-amputee with family issues (44:40)
• Skit (feat. Karrington from Real Dudes Podcast) (51:17)
  • DOC: Hello Victor, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • VICTOR: Hey Doc. Let’s do this. I’m all in.
  • D: pause Ooooookaaaay? excited OK!
  • V: Here’s a list of the last 3 angry outbursts I’ve had within the past month. I’ve also included my vitals, my calorie count, and I have a full database of the last 30 years of psychotherapeutic and psychotropic recommendations by the American Psychiatric Association for diagnoses in the DSM and the ICD 10, 11, and 12.
  • D: There is no ICD 12 yet.
  • V: I have my ways.
  • D: But you don’t even know what you’re diagn
  • V: interrupting I have taken the MMPI Inventory and the standard deviation of error after multiple runs is within an acceptable range for any PhD, PsyD, MD, or DO with an acceptable clinical certification. I also cross-referenced any abnormal responses with screening exams for Depression, ADHD, psychosis, addiction, and monitored all of my hormonal levels to make sure there were no underlying physiological causes.
  • D: You don’t need to screen yourself for addictions unless someone else
  • V: interrupting, but actually excited The Titans say I am addicted to tech. But they don’t live with it like I do. I’m showing them that I am in full control of myself, and thanks to this research I’ve found a way to use Monte Carlo simulations for how likely I am to have any emotional response at any moment. I never thought about the human brain like this before. I can modify my eye to be a functional MRI device…if I could just find the proper shielding against my own body.
  • D: That is dangerous and NOT fully diagnostic yet. I love the enthusiasm but…how do I put this? BACK OFF, CAN’T YA?!
  • V: Hmmm? confused I thought my gruntwork would make this easy for you. I am willing to undergo pharmacogenetic testing for the best medication. Isn’t this what you do?
  • D: flustered NO! Yes, well…it’s complicated.
  • V: I know, right? If it took me a few all-nighters to get the reams of data necessary for an introductory session, I can’t imagine what you have to do for multiple patients every day of the week!
  • D: You want to know what I do? Honestly?
  • V: Yeah! I’ll admit, I thought this was all psychobabble nonsense, but there is some real rigor behind neuroscience.
  • D: I talk to people, and they talk back to me. I make suggestions based on that information, along with the biological and social components, and repeat that process with the patient’s input.
  • V: sound of fuse blowing That DOES sound like psychobabble nonsense. I mean, I can get you a copy of my last schematic
  • D: PLEASE tone it down. I’m begging at this point. Look, I’m impressed by your efforts, but it’s clear to me that you have no other format for viewing yourself. You’re incredibly smart. You’re laser focused - no pun intended. You realize that others think SOMETHING is up, and you double down on what you know. You’re isolating yourself and you don’t even know it.
  • V: The hell I am! I’ve been a key component in some of the most important events in human history...UNIVERSE history. You don’t know me.
  • D: There’s that anger that you mentioned.
  • V: So my cortisol level-
  • D: Nope…don’t care.
  • V: Say whaaaaaaaaat?!
  • D: Dude…just talk to me. How are you? How are those you care about? What’s your favorite food?
  • V: This isn’t a date.
  • D: Not like that, but it IS a human interaction of getting to know one another. Please, just stick to the basics.
  • V: Nah man, if you don’t recognize I’m Linux all the wa-
  • D: SAY SOMETHING NOT RELATED TO RESEARCH OR TECH. NOW.
  • V: sound of short circuiting Sorry, doc, gotta reboot a few things
  • D: Ohhhhhhh No, you’re not avoiding this. I realize this is all a smokescreen now. Ever heard the phrase, ‘if you can’t dazzle them with your brilliance, then baffle them with your bullshit? Well, sir, you have managed to create the ultimate bullshit brilliance hybrid I can fathom. Drop it.
  • V: Well, damn. You cut real deep with that, man. I’m not sure this will work out.
  • D: Why not? Are you willing to do something that doesn’t have a treasure trove of data to mine? Actually, I think it’s the opposite; you get the chance to look at your own personal black box that’s been hardcoded into your psyche. The more you’re willing to let go, the greater the likelihood of a new finding.
  • V: pause You really want to do this without downloading the latest…
  • D: interrupting Don’t care unless you talk about your father.
  • V: Weeeeeeell…I’m sure you can google his name…ha ah haha nervous laugh cough Maaaaaaan, just let it go, will you? That’s the problem with practitioners of soft sciences. They fall back on outdated formatting. Are you Freud 2.0 or something?
  • D: Only if you’re Cyborg plus.
  • V: I don’t understand. I was expecting you to say “Cyborg 2022” or something.
  • D: No, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being…comfortable. I apologize for my frustration. You dig technology. Sweet. It’s vital for you. But what else makes you who you are? You don’t have to answer that for me just
  • V: interrupting Just myself. Yeah. My dad was the same way. Just colder. At least I’m around people that can make me feel good once in a while. That’s a nice situation, ya know? Not trying to rain on their parades. I can’t sit around watching TV or doing endless workouts or some such. I like making a difference. But I can always be better. I’m not sure anyone understands that.
  • D: That was the best thing you’ve said this entire time. It seemed really tough. It gets easier over time.
  • V: You’re opening my mind, Doc.
  • D: Thanks, I
  • V: Yeah, I should have been downloading Beck and Ellis instead of just philosophical stoics when I was younger. I can do a PubMed search with the proper tags as soon as I leave
  • D: dramatic cough AHEM
  • V: Orrrrrrr I could just…journal for 5 minutes tonight?
  • D: You’re catching on. I’ll see you next session. I trust that you’ve already logged it on your calendar.
  • V: confident/satisfied Booyah.
• Ending (57:43)
  • Thanks Karrington - Real Dudes Podcast
  • Recommended reading: Blackest Night, JLA/Titans
  • Next episodes: Black Bolt, Echo, 150th Episode Special
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Hamilton: What'd I Miss - Anthony (5:08)

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Things get chaotic as we discuss HAVOK! Is this Summers brother as… difficult as Scott? Tune in to find out!

• Intro
  • AMA for 150

• Background (1:57)

  • Havok (Alex Summers) created by Arnold Drake and Don Heck in The X-Men #54 (March 1969)
  • Alex Summers is the younger Summers son - he and his older brother Scott were in a plane crash piloted by their father Christopher - the boys survived the crash, though Scott was in a coma for a while
  • Raised in an orphanage before being adopted by a family whose son died in a car crash - he was kidnapped by the same person responsible for the young boy’s death, but Alex’s powers of plasma blasts manifested and he burned the boy - Mr. Sinister discovered Alex and put a psi-block on him to help him control his powers
  • Later captured by Larry Trask & the sentinels - given the code name Havok, as he had difficulty controlling his powers
  • Joined the X-Men and began an on-again/off-again relationship with Polaris - they later quit to focus on their relationship
  • Alex learned that his father was Corsair of the Starjammers
  • Had a brief relationship with Madelyne Pryor, Scott’s ex-wife, while she was working as the Goblin Queen, and she manipulated him to help her take over the world, until she discovered she was a clone of Jean Grey and killed herself #BecauseComics
  • Joined X-Factor, a government sponsored mutant group, and eventually led the team for a while - he left after Multiple Man’s death at the hands of the Legacy Virus
  • For a time, Alex was sent to an alternate universe, where he discovered that universe’s version was married to Madelyne and had a child named Scott - Alex served as a father figure for a while until he was returned to his reality
  • Returned in a coma - fell in love with his nurse, Annie, but he still had feelings for Polaris, and they got engaged - Alex left her at the altar because of his lingering feelings for Annie, and Polaris tried to kill her before being stopped by Juggernaut and Alex
  • Joined his father and learned he had a younger brother, Vulcan, who is head of the Shi’ar Empire - Vulcan kills Corsair, and Havok battles Vulcan but is defeated
  • Later serves as head of the Avengers Unity Squad after Avengers vs X-Men, since Captain America wants a mutant to lead the team after Xavier’s death at the hands of Scott
  • During AXIS, his morality is inverted, and he reconciles with Scott, but remains corrupted after the spell is reversed
  • He is currently living on Krakoa with all mutants, spending time with his family in the Summer House on the Moon

• Issues - Theme: instability befitting his name (7:24)

  • Nature of relationship with Scott - “Good” Scott vs. “Bad” Alex
  • Hero, villain, and in-between (15:17)
  • Can’t catch a break, and he knows it (22:33)
• Break (31:29)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Grief Burrito, and Chris Claremont
• Treatment (33:04)
  • In-universe - Use his suit as a form of biofeedback to allow him to get better in tune with himself
  • Out of universe - (38:24)
• Skit (45:22)
  • Hello Alex, I’m Dr. Issues. - Hello, Doctor sigh
  • You don’t exactly seem enthused about this. -pause Is that a question?
  • Well, what is it about seeing me that gets you down? Or, were you already depressed and that’s why you’re here? -Nothing that dramatic. I doubt I’m the first mutant you’ve seen that doesn’t like the idea of scrutinizing their past, digging up mistakes, talking about the stuff that nobody else wants to hear. I’m actually not a downer kind of guy. Honest!
  • Fine with me. Then let’s try again. What brings you here, on your own terms? -I’m messed up. Is there a reason it has to be analyzed more than that?
  • I don’t do that type of analysis unless it’s absolutely necessary. This is meant to be confidential, anyway. -I know. That’s why I agreed to do this. I have a big idea, but I’m doubtful anything will come of it. Plus it’s going to make me sound psychotic.
  • Don’t jump to that conclusion. What’s up? -My family has a way of being dramatic.
  • A proud member of the club! -Maybe I can…I don’t know…my brothers are really different. But Scott especially. There’s this vibe I get sometimes. He holds a lot back, and I know he doesn’t trust me as much as he could. That’s my fault. I own it. But…this is the crazy part…he doesn’t say anything to me, but I noticed some changes, you know? I tried to ask him, and all he did was give your card. I’m not asking about him, but what did he say about me? I’m getting paranoid about it.
  • I can’t talk about any other person outside of you. -Then that confirms it! I’ve been tortured that way, given lies to make me think the worst of the world. I don’t let that stuff break me. But Scott just gives me your card, doesn’t say a word. Does he think I’m that screwed up that he can’t talk to me? I’d rather he blast me in the face because I know I can shake that off.
  • Is this about sibling rivalry, or getting dirt? -No way, doctor. I’m just trying to put 2 and 2 together. You know how many times I’ve been told I’m out of control? Sometimes I lean into that. Live with it. Love with it. We don’t see the world the same way. He’s the one to show up, show out, and wait for the applause. I show up, and…who knows? He wanted me to do this, and I can’t figure out why. He always has a plan.
  • Forget about his plan. What’s your plan? What do you want to do? -I don’t want what he wants. He always talks about the oppressed, and the constant struggle to make mutantkind a shining example to the world. Well, what about the world? What about those downtrodden who also don’t have a genetic eraser to bail them out of trouble? It’s hubris. I can’t stand people like that. But that’s all I ever see when people lead. I saw it with Scott, I saw it in Cap, I even saw it in Charles sometimes. pause Maybe they need this more than me. They’re the ones that call the shots. I don’t want to be a part of that.
  • With such eloquence and candor, someone’s bound to put you in that spot -They did! Oh, did they ever. Hated it. It’s not for me. I’m a wildcard. I know better than to cut loose and abandon the people I fight with. That’s a sacred bond. But that doesn’t mean I should be some poster boy managing the day-to-day stuff. Ok, hypothetical here: what if you help me. Then what? I learn to tolerate things I don’t like instead of doing more of what I DO like? I spend my evenings planning missions instead being with the love of my life? Why would I want that?
  • I’m noticing a pattern here, and it’s unique. Most people that step foot into my office are afraid of failure. You are on the opposite end of the spectrum. What if you succeed? You said you had big plans -interrupting and they blow up. That’s just the way it is.
  • It doesn't have to be. You can find a new way to enjoy things, you can bring along loved ones as your mind expands, you can still find ways to say no, except by choice instead of by chance. Learn to put the chaos in the background for once instead of making it the whole picture. - But how? It’s all around me. Hell, it’s in my name. At this point it’s kinda part & parcel of the whole Alex Summers package. Asking me to give that up is like trying to teach me not to breathe.
  • More like a new breathing technique. I’m not asking you to stop being who you are. You have an amazing opportunity to fine tune what makes you such a dynamic person. Start by starting. It’s going to be messy, and that’s okay. This isn’t a competition against your brother, your mentors, or those you care about. It’s you against yourself, and that is a race you can always win. - You make it sound so easy. I’ve done the “fresh start” thing. Several times. X-Factor. Unity Squad. Krakoa. How many times can I reboot? It’s like starting a new comic book and slapping a #1 on the title - it’s still the same retread.
  • Keep track, then. Too often I come across cases where people have taken the right action, and don’t know how they got there, or where things went wrong. That’s the difficult…and let's be honest, the boring part. If you’re willing to do the small stuff, then you’ll be surprised at how it compounds over time. - Like interest. Problem is, interest can be negative. Like my interest in this conversation.
  • Ok, let’s go there. Let’s hash this out in full. You are an example of chaos theory, which means, like the mathematical system it’s based on, you’re not as random as you seem, and can have several parts of your life modeled out with a decent likelihood of the known outcomes. HOWEVER, if you decide to take control, you have now changed the whole spectrum to a simple parabola. I have news for you (as if you didn’t already know) but your life is never going to be bland, or simple. But there is one variable you can use, and it’s your own psyche. Think of this conversation as the butterfly effect for how your emotions and thought processes occur from this point forward. - Well, I was told there would be no math. But I get what you’re going for. sigh I mean, it’s worth a shot. Can’t be any worse than the umpteen other things I’ve tried, right? I suppose I should give Scott a call and talk to him about this, too. Of course he’s gonna gloat about it. God, he’s such a…
  • Yes? - I was gonna call him names, but he means well, even if he’s too blunt for his own good sometimes.
  • I don’t know what you’re talking about. - And here I thought you said you couldn’t divulge anything about your clients… he can be a dick sometimes, you can admit it.
  • I do not discuss patients with other patients, even if they’re siblings. - Even if they’re right?
  • I do not. Discuss. Patients. With. Other. Patients. - Alright, fair enough Doc. I won’t tell him you called him a dick.
  • I DID NOT! - Hahaha, gotcha!
• Ending (53:39)
  • Recommended reading: Peter David X-Factor run
  • Next episodes: Echo, Cyborg, Black Bolt
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Replacement Scrappy - Anthony (3:03)
• Cyclops episode - Anthony (4:16)
• Jamie Madrox episode - Anthony (5:25)
• Jessica Jones episode - Doc (24:00)

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We bring back Allen & Will, the writers of Pocus Hocus, to talk about their Kickstarter for Issue 3! What fun twists do they have in store for us? Tune in to find out!

• Intro
  • Reminder of last Will & Allen episode - between 135 & 136
  • IG giveaway - like the post and comment with the secret word - first 3 to respond will win issues 1 & 2
  • Kickstarter link
• Discussion
  • Rundown of issues 1 & 2
  • Where is #3 going?
  • Emily - Clear she’s not interested in being an apprentice - she’s also obviously driving Pocus, what’s the nature of their relationship
  • Ivan - unique speaking style
  • Horus - Very un-rabbit like - what’s his deal?
  • The demon - Will we see him in Issue 3?
  • Pocus - How will being in Hell impact his relationship with the Demon?
• Ending
  • Reminder of IG giveaway
  • Next episodes: Havok, Echo, Cyborg
  • Plugs for social

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Come with us to Yancy Street as we drill down on BEN GRIMM, THE THING! Why does a man so smart tawk like dis? Listen now to find out!

• Intro
  • Upcoming interview with Allen & Will from Pocus Hocus - giveaway on IG - follow us there for more info

• Background (3:00)

  • Ben Grimm (The Thing) created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in The Fantastic Four #1 (Nov. 1961)
  • Ben Grimm is a pilot and college friend of Reed Richards
  • While flying an experimental rocketship with Richards, Richards’ girlfriend Sue Storm, and Sue’s brother Johnny aboard, the ship is bombarded with cosmic rays, which irreversibly alter all four travelers - Ben’s body becomes covered in an orange, rocky hide - he dubs himself the Thing
  • Reed attempts several times to reverse his transformation, but is unable to make it permanent - Ben does revert back to human on occasion though (largely through magical means)
  • Had a starring role in Marvel Two-in-One alongside various heroes
  • Stays on Battleworld after Secret Wars, because the planet provides him the ability to change at will - She-Hulk joins the FF in his stead, until he returns after defeating an evil version of himself
  • Upon returning, he discovers that his on-again/off-again love Alicia Masters is dating Johnny Storm - this Alicia is later revealed to be a Skrull named Lyja #BecauseComics
  • Ben and Sharon Ventura are hit with cosmic rays - Sharon becomes She-Thing, while Ben becomes more powerful and rocky
  • Recurring stories for Ben involve the Yancy Street gang where he grew up - at various points they’ve been rivals and partners, with Ben even leading the gang at one point during his earlier years
  • Joins the New Avengers after Seige, serving on both teams simultaneously
  • Recently married Alicia, although their honeymoon was interrupted by a rampaging Hulk (under the control of the Puppet Master, Alicia’s father)

• Issues (10:07)

  • Insecurity and self-loathing. It's been his chief, most famous character-defining trait since his inception. He's horrified by his physical appearance and thinks it makes him a monster both inside and out. He's just one of those people that doesn't feel like he deserves anything good in life no matter how much he does as a hero. As such, he's often at the root of sabotaging his own happiness, particularly in his romantic relationships. He thinks that by pushing the people closest to him away, he's protecting them from disappointment and pain, but -- as I had to learn in my early 20s -- that's something people just do instinctively when they think very little of themselves. "Life Story" would go into this a little deeper and we'd learn he was a lot like this before he became the Thing. The war keeps changing thanks to Marvel's sliding timescale, but he's not particularly proud of the things he did overseas in the Marines, and just doesn't generally feel like he's someone worthy of being loved. He also frequently turns down cures to his condition, making up some dumb excuse about the team needing him or another.
  • Inadequacy; always feeling second best. This was way more prevalent in the Lee/Kirby years, but man, the fact that there are heroes like Thor and the Silver Surfer in the world, who are canonically stronger than he is but look like classic art masterpieces come to life just eats at him. And of course, there's the Hulk. Oh boy, he does not like being compared with the Hulk. His whole "I've got more heart than anyone else" thing and relying on willpower to carry him through fights is great for storytelling, but he's not top tier in strength in the Marvel universe, and he's well aware of the fact. (19:08)
  • Playing dumb, for...some reason. Ben is not dumb muscle. Not even close. You don't get to be a test pilot in any branch of the military or an astronaut in NASA without being several standard deviations above average intelligence. The man has multiple advanced degrees in engineering and can fix pretty much anything mechanical or electrical that breaks down, even when it's a one of a kind invention of Reed's. He can instinctively pilot just about any vehicle he comes across, even if it's alien and he has no idea how it works. But for whatever reason, he seems to purposely cultivate an image of being the team's dumb guy with his gruff, matter-of-fact, Lower East Side manner of speaking. With his enemies, I get it. It's useful to be underestimated. But among friends and other superheroes, where there's no need for it? I don't get it. (29:29)
• Break (42:15)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Into the Knight, and Jeremy Whitley
• Treatment - theme is hard outer shell/rough edges (43:54)
  • In-universe - Being comfortable with his own skin
  • Out of universe - (47:52)
• Skit (55:40)
  • Hello Mr. Thing, I’m Dr. Issues. - Aw please, call me Ben.
  • Alright Ben, how are you doing today? - Well doc, I got this crick in my neck that I just can’t seem ta
  • interrupting whoa, whoa, I’m not that kind of doctor. -I’m just messin with ya. Sheesh, I heard you could take a joke.
  • laughs of course, of course. I just didn’t expect that from the start. Way to throw me off. -No harm, right? I don’t get a chance ta talk to someone like you one on one. People like you just run away from an orange pile o’ rocks.
  • I don’t condone that kind of self-talk. Did I say a word when you came in other than to greet you? I meant it. -Come ahhhhhhn…not even a little reaction?
  • Well, I’m human, so…wait, are you fishing for me to say something? -Maybe, what’s it to ya?
  • pause So you wanted to come across as one of the guys, but then you had to point out what makes you different. I’m perplexed already. -I get that a lot. Gotta admit, seein’ an orange guy with a fugly mug don’t do favors with subtlety. I ain’t Shakespeare ya know.
  • There you go again…in record time, you manage to drop more insults about yourself. -You ain’t coming across as warm and fuzzy, either, pal.
  • I’m sorry…it’s just…I get defensive with patients because I’ve heard my fair share of depressed talk, and my gut is to fight it, tooth and nail. You, just like everyone else, are worthy of love and respect. Even if you don’t have hope for that, I’ll have it for you. -sarcastic Well golly gee, doesn’t that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I ain’t a sad sack case, doc.
  • I’m acknowledging your defense mechanisms because they’re so common…more than you know. -Well, sometimes the best defense is a strong offense. That’s what people come to expect.
  • I don’t have expectations. I just have a questioning attitude. I don’t want to bombard you with too much too quickly, but you’re going to have to touch on some things that you may not want to really talk about at the moment. -Like what?
  • Well, since you led with it, let’s start with the elephant in the room. How do you feel about your appearance? -It’s there.
  • pause Go on… -Look, I dropped the hints, the jokes, you know the answer, all right? I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But so what? Bad cards, man. Bad cards. Ya gotta make the best of it. And lucky for me, Alicia happens ta like it. I don’t know what she… I was gonna say I don’t know what she sees in me, but she’s blind, so she can’t see anything in me hehehe.
  • Then what does she love about you? - Ta be honest, some days I don’t know. It’s one of the great mysteries of life. But I feel lucky just to know her, and the fact that she coulda been wit any guy and she picked me… well, some days that’s what it takes ta get me outta bed in the morning.
  • I don’t think you’ll appreciate it as much coming from me, but your personality as a whole shines through whatever physical form you may have. You have gravitas -Gravi…wha? Come on, don’t get fancy on me. You’ll start soundin like Stretch. He starts talking over ya head, and I get a cure for insomnia. I’m just a plain ol’ guy tryin ta make it through the day.
  • You’re really entrenched in this style, huh? -You makin fun a how I talk?
  • NO! I mean, you downplay everything about yourself, except the one thin…PART, that everyone can see. Is it to avoid attention? Consequences? What? -Look, I’m not into all sorts of psychobabble, but think about what you’re sayin. I get to be wit some really good people. Susie is the most selfless person you’ll ever meet. Flame Boy grinds my gears, but I’ll be damned, his intensity has saved our ass a million times. Then you got the genius that makes the whole shebang go. Who am I to them, huh? Who am I to anybody?
  • This may sound dumb to say, but…forget for a split second who you are to them. Who are you…to YOU? -pause That’s hard, doc. That’s not how life is supposed to be.
  • What do you mean? -You keep pushin me ta make some kinda breakthrough, and all I’m getting is vapor cone.
  • I’m sorry, what? - Vapor cone is where an object traveling at hypersonic or supersonic speeds reduces the air pressure immediately surrounding itself. That drop in air pressure creates a corresponding drop in temperature. If the air is saturated with water, and the drop in temperature goes below the saturation temperature, it will form an instantaneous cloud around the object, because the air pressure drop is so sudden that the water can’t move out of the way. Ya see it in planes when they hit Mach 1.
  • pause Thank you for teaching me something new….especially something that’s outside of my particular reading. That was…BEYOND unexpected. -sarcastic Oh, ya make me blush.
  • Take a compliment, please! You just showed more of yourself than I expected in one session. You managed to take a chance. You are more than you let on. I’m being a bit selfish when I say your goal should be to educate naive people like me in the areas you shine at. Don’t shy away, I’m practically begging you. The more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll be with that part of yourself. - Look, Doc, the truth is, I know what I bring ta the table. Reed’s the brains, Susie’s the heart, and Johnny’s the mouth. Someone’s gotta be the muscle. And yeah, I know I can come off a little rough around the edges, literally an’ figuratively. But there’s nothing wrong wit’ being what people expect of ya, as long as yer ok wit it. And for all my talk, I gotta lotta friends. A lotta people who’d lay down their lives, and many have, ta save my hide. So I’m grateful every day for every single one of ‘em. It’s gotten me this far, I don’t see any reason ta rock the boat now.
  • Fair enough. Just be mindful that…literally and figuratively, you’re going to make waves with everyone you meet because you’re a big orange rock.. You can control the impact. - Hardy har har. I guess you can make a joke after all.
  • It’s a joke, even if it’s not a fantastic one. - Aw jeez…
• Ending (62:32)
  • Recommended reading: Literally any Fantastic Four run
  • Next episodes: Pocus Hocus interview, Alex Summers, Echo
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Here's Looking At You, Kid - Casablanca - Anthony (17:52)

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• Intro
• Background (0:57)
• • Terra created by Marv Wolfman & George Perez in New Teen Titans #26 (Dec. 1982)
  • Tara Markov is the illegitimate child of Viktor Markov, the king of Markovia
  • She was experimented on and gained the ability to control earthen matter
  • Unlike her brother Geo-Force, she believed her abilities made her a god, and she was meant to rule over people - this, coupled with the scandal of her parentage, caused her father to send her out of the country to the US
  • Used her powers as a mercenary, eventually gaining the attention of Deathstroke, who took her under his wing
  • Used her to infiltrate the Teen Titans, even going so far as to battle him to earn their trust
  • After Deathstroke captured them, his son Jericho possessed him to free the Titans - this caused Terra to think he turned on her, and she pulled down the entire building in a fit of rage, seemingly killing herself
  • Returns as a Black Lantern during Blackest Night - tries to seduce Beast Boy, and lies to her brother Geo-Force that she doesn’t want to be reanimated
  • A doppleganger later appeared - she was an alien sent to Earth and genetically manipulated to appear as the reincarnation of Tara, but the process erased her memory
  • A new Terra named Atlee shows up in the New 52 as an ally of Supergirl and later Power Girl

• Issues - theme of manipulation (5:55)

• • How her sociopathy relates to actual antisocial personality disorder
  • Rejected by her father because of the nature of her parentage (13:44)
  • Manipulated by Deathstroke to be his pawn (21:50)
• Break
• • Plugs for BetterHelp, Harpy Hour, and Saladin Ahmed
• Treatment (32:57)
• • In-universe - Use clay as a metaphor during play therapy treatment session
  • Out of universe - Volatile & BPD issues (40:37)
• Skit (feat. Erin from Girls Talk Comics) (47:15)
• • Doc: Hello Tara, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • Terra: cheerily Hiiii
  • D: Ooooookay…um, what brings you to
  • T: interrupts What? Just because I greeted you with a smile and I’m happy makes you suspicious? You need to get over yourself.
  • D: pause Not at all! I just got thrown off because usually the people that seek my guidance are exactly the opposite…or more neutral. I should also inform you that I have several quirks that lead some people to think I’m reading more into what they’re saying than I am.
  • T: But you’re a psychiatrist. Your job is to read people. That’s my job too, just for different reasons.
  • D: I see. Care to elaborate?
  • T: Nope.
  • D: pause
  • T: This is where you dig into what I really mean.
  • D: You gave a very clear answer. If that’s all, then
  • T: WAIT WAIT WAIT What is this? What the fuck IS THIS? You just give up on someone the second they show a little resistance? You’re…weird. Are you a loser? Are you fascinating? I don’t know which.
  • D: So how will you find out? Hurl more insults? Honestly, I haven’t had someone so reactive in a bit. I’m chill, so you do you.
  • T: THIS IS BULLSHIT You’re supposed to comfort me to calm me down, not be all passive aggressive! Are you sure you’re a psychiatrist? What am I even doing here?
  • D: It’s clear that you have some trouble managing anger when you don’t run the show. I’m trying to strike that balance…but the fulcrum on your conversations makes every sentence a catapult! Who does the best job navigating this out of anyone you know?
  • T: Two of them…and in different ways.
  • D: How so?
  • T: The first…if I talk about him, you’re dead, so I won’t. He was easy because he gave a job. Purpose. I did it perfectly. And he crushed our trust so I crushed everything around me. The other…ohhhhhhh…he’s an animal…ANY animal…complete opposite. So much fun I’d do anything for that boy.
  • D: To summarize, the first practical, the other whimsical. That means you have the potential to connect with a full spectrum of people. Perhaps blending a team
  • T: Interrupts NO
  • D: pause A support group.
  • T: Better.
  • D: I have to acknowledge that your reactivity made benefit from med
  • T: interrupts People putting things in my body is what made me go crazy! STOP! NO MORE! rumble sound effects
  • D: I’m not going to yell back. I’m not forcing anything, unless you demonstrate a danger, so please, let’s keep this civil. Neither of us need to deal with damage to this office. sotte voce And my insurance company is gonna drop me if I file one more claim like this.
  • T: I’ve had enough of this. You claim to be this super calm doctor and have all of my problems figured out, but you don’t know a thing about me. You have a great life. You never had to build trust and break it, and have it broken on you, over and over again! You never got so enraged you basically killed yourself! You didn’t find the love of your life and have to throw yourself at them just to get a kiss! Tell me, how would you handle that? How would you be in my shoes?
  • D: I’d probably freak out a bit. I’d have intense emotions, and I don’t know how or when they’d overwhelm me. For all I know, I’d react similarly to you, because I’m a living, breathing human and nobody deserves to be put through pain. But pain exists. Channel it. Do something different. Otherwise, you’re just going to spread pain to everyone else.
  • T: groans and screams I AM OUT OF HERE. You’re lucky your office isn’t a pile of rubble right now. Think about THAT! Fucking obnoxious prick! door slams
  • D: sigh whispers 5-4-3-2-
  • T: door opens AND THE NEXT SESSION I’LL TALK ABOUT DEATHSTROKE SO HE CAN KILL YOU. switches to cheery Thursday afternoons work the best, byeeee!
• Ending (51:35)
• • Recommended reading: Teen Titans: The Judas Contract
  • Next episodes: Ben Grimm, Alex Summers, Echo
  • Plugs for social

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• Intro
  • Welcome to Season 7
  • Having a baby girl in May :)
  • Pocus Hocus giveaway coming soon on IG
  • Episode 150 coming soon
• Background
  • Jessica Drew created by Archie Goodwin and Marie Severin in Marvel Spotlight #32 (Feb. 1977)
  • In her first appearance, she was a spider who evolved into a human
  • That was later retconned - her origin is when she was young, she became sick, and her father injected her with an experimental dose of irradiated spider’s blood, and put her in a chamber to incubate, but while she was in there her mother died and her father left - she spent decades in the chamber, but came out only aged to 17 #BecauseComics
  • THAT origin was then altered - her mother was hit with a beam of radiation with the DNA of several varieties of spiders, and her parents were actually working with/for HYDRA as scientists
  • She leaves Wundagore and is captured by HYDRA, who train her as a spy to assassinate Nick Fury - she accidentally kills her handler, at which point she discovers the truth and defects, becoming a SHIELD agent (also revealing that the “evolved spider” was part of HYDRA’s brainwashing)
  • Works as a private investigator while simultaneously being Spider-Woman
  • Joins the New Avengers and helps the heroes recapture all the villains that escaped the Raft - later revealed that this was actually Skrull Queen Veranke in disguise, which led to the Secret Invasion
  • Abigail Brand invites her to join SWORD and kill hostile aliens on Earth
  • Played a major part in Spider-Verse
  • After that, she quit the Avengers and began focusing on small-time help, using Ben Urich and Roger Gocking, the reformed Porcupine, as aides
  • Recently gave birth, using artificial insemination from an anonymous donor - her son Gerry inherited her powers

• Issues (11:32)

  • From Ruby - reluctance in trusting others
  • Constantly having to reassure people she's not Vernake (17:05)
  • Earlier in career, dealing with distance & uncertainty around people because of her lack of familiarity with them (22:40)

• Break (28:50)

  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Nerd Crusade, and Howard Mackie
• Treatment (30:20)
  • In-universe - Focus on genetics, including passing it along to Gerry
  • Out of universe - Focus on trauma - similar to Dr. Scarlet (guest on our Black Widow episode) (34:04)
• Skit (feat. Jessica from Girls Talk Comics) (41:35)
  • Doc: Hello Jessica, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • Jessica: sarcastically joking/tongue in cheek What’s up, Doc?
  • D: Hardy har har, never heard that one before.
  • J: Sorry, had to get that out.
  • D: Understood. Bad jokes are hard to let go. So, what can I help you untangle in your psyche?
  • J:Touche. I yawn sorry, Gerry-my son-kept me up last night, and I’m trying my hardest to get my 3 functioning neurons to cooperate. Do you have any kids?
  • D: Sure do. I remember those nights. Never enough coffee.
  • J: If I could walk around with a permanent IV drip of espresso, it wouldn’t be enough some days. Why do we do this to ourselves?
  • D: It’s biologically driven, because kids are cute meat blobs that would die without us.
  • J: Yeah, they are adorable little parasites, aren’t they? Sucking the life and the soul out of you all the time, and yet one smile or laugh and they give it all back.
  • D: laughs Before this gets too dark, we really should talk about how caring for a child is affecting you.
  • J: Me personally or the superheroing?
  • D: Well…whichever one makes you the most distressed? I can guess though, because most people feel like they only should focus on the personal side and tend to throw any other part of their life to the wayside…not that I agree with that, but that’s the tendency I’ve observed.
  • J: I dunno… I guess the super stuff stresses me out more, at least as it relates to him. Because it seems like it’s less natural to me than being a mom, even though I never fully envisioned myself as either… if that makes any kinda sense, I realize this is the caffeinated ramblings of an exhausted parent, but I’m really trying my best not to fall over here.
  • D: Mommy brain (and daddy brain, for that matter) are a real thing. You’re making sense.
  • J: OK good. It’s just… I wasn’t really raised, per se, I was incubated. Relating to people never came easy for me. Certainly didn’t have any great parental figures to speak of, unless you count Bova, and I don’t know any normal people who were raised by a humanoid cow. So when I decided to have Gerry, it was like finishing a puzzle where I didn’t realize I was missing any pieces. Every day with him has been a joy.
  • D: Then let’s say you’re doing the best job you can with him. What’s the problem with being a superhero? pause That’s a moronic thing to ask, huh?
  • J: Not the dumbest question I’ve heard today. My… partner had a complete misunderstanding about feeding Gerry today, and I had to explain that infants are not supposed to eat Lindor truffles. Anyway, to your point… it’s more about the fact that I’ve had these powers and skillset for a long time, and I still don’t entirely feel comfortable with them. Having a kid on top of it… it feels like an uncomfortable suit that I can’t take off. And if you crack a joke about my costume, I’ll zap you so hard you’ll wake up next week.
  • D: I have no intentions of agitating you. The random mix of events that led you to your current life are not something to mock. Let me say from the start that there’s no such thing as getting it all exactly right. Do you have any resentment about your status? I’ve met plenty of people that wish for things to be different.
  • J: Oh I got past the resentment part ages ago. Yeah, it ate me up for a long time, and yes I took it out on some people that probably didn’t deserve it. But then I wouldn’t be where I am, and I probably wouldn’t have Gerry. So in that respect it works out. The thing that gets me is more about… feeling this, pull, obligation, whatever you wanna call it, towards the hero thing. It’s like, I’m doing the mom thing, but then I need to get out because if I don’t leave the house someone is going to get hurt, likely Roger, so I get some fresh air. While I’m taking my break, someone inevitably needs help, because everyone in New York City is incapable of going more than a week without being attacked by some souped-up genetic mistake, so then I have to swoop in and save their sorry ass, because otherwise word will get out that Spider-Woman just happened to be there and didn’t lift a damn finger, and that gives Jameson more fuel for his anti-spider editorials, which is gonna send Parker into a tizzy, and I don’t need that agita, so it’s easier just to save them and move on.
  • D: That…sounds like there maaaaaay be a little bit of left over resentment there…just sayin. Not blaming you, but wow is that an emotional bag to carry.
  • J: Chalk it up to exhaustion. When you get this tired, anything’s liable to come outta my mouth. But I guess I wasn’t as adjusted about this as I thought. Hmph.
  • D: That’s OK, at least you’re aware of it now. I’m a pretty good sounding board. Feel free to blast away…um, not literally. A bit of disclosure here, but I have a similar style to how I deal with exhaustion. No filter. But, that makes me worry, when do you recharge, and how? Can’t when you’re crimefighting, can’t be when you’re taking care of Gerry, so…
  • J: Carol has been clutch when I need a breather, and especially if we’re out and something goes down, she’s waaaaay better equipped to handle stuff than I am. So I sit back and let her wail away on the dude, and then we go on our merry way.
  • D: Nice delegation. I like it. I need to do more of that myself. Thanks for the reminder. So, what’s your ideal balance? Brainstorm it. No idea is too crazy.
  • J: Hoo boy, that’s asking a lot for the already exhausted hamster upstairs, but I’ll kick him in the ass and see what I can come up with. Umm… phone vibrates Dammit, hold on a sec, it’s Roger. I told him only to message me if it’s an emergency, and… pause Alright, I gotta go.
  • D: Everything OK?
  • J: If by “OK” you mean “my kid sparked an electrical fire that burnt a hole through the kitchen wall and spread to my neighbor’s place”, then yeah, it’s peachy keen. Sorry Doc, we’ll pick this up again next time. And maybe then I’ll bring a few extra neurons to make it an even half dozen, and we can have a real conversation.
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Spider-Woman vol 6 by Dennis Hallum & Javier Rodriguez
  • Next episodes: Terra, Ben Grimm, Alex Summers
  • Plugs for social

References:

• “Helpless” from Hamilton - Doc (8:12)
• Dr. Janina Scarlet/Black Widow episode - Anthony (34:15)

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• Intro
  • Season finale
  • New patron - Tamara
  • Patreon paused for December

• Background (3:05)

  • Polaris (Lorna Sally Dane) created by Arnold Drake and Jim Steranko in X-Men #49 (October 1968)
  • Lorna Dane summoned to the X-Men by the mutant villain Mesmero, who mentally called upon all mutants to help him fight the team
  • Magneto showed up to rescue her and claimed to be her father, explaining why she has his same magnetic abilities - Iceman spoke to her foster parents, who told her that her birth parents died in a plane crash - she joined the team and began a relationship with Havok
  • Erik the Red, a Shi’ar agent, telepathically controlled her and gave her the name Polaris - she was freed by Xavier, but kept the name
  • Gained a secondary ability to manipulate emotions and use them to enhance her own powers - this was removed after a battle with the Shadow King
  • She & Havok were reserve X-Men for many years, until joining X-Factor - left the team after his apparent death
  • Helped Magneto run Genosha for a while, as she felt she needed to make amends - she also learned better control over her powers - during this time, it was confirmed that Magneto was her father
  • Rejoined the X-Men after the Genoshan massacre, although she was suffering from trauma as a result
  • Got engaged to Havok, who left her at the altar for a nurse that he had a psychic affair with
  • Was transformed into Pestilence by Apocalypse, and served as one of his Horsemen - after she is returned to normal, she once again quits the X-Men
  • Joins the Starjammers, where she helps the Inhumans as Crystal’s sister-in-law
  • Later learns that her powers manifested at 3 years old - she witnessed her parents arguing about her mother’s infidelity, and her ensuing emotional response triggered her latent magnetic abilities, which crashed the plane they were all on - Magneto showed up and had Mastermind wipe her mind of the memories
  • Currently living on Krakoa where she’s on a team investigating any mutant deaths

• Issues (6:36)

  • Jeanine - Dealing with constantly revolving powers
  • Her powers impacting those around her, as well as the electrical impulses in her brain (11;51)
  • Her revolving door relationship with her father (18:36)
• Break (28:17)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Take a Knee for Marvel Vs. DC, and Chris Claremont
• Treatment (29:53)
  • In-universe - Create a machine to use her powers to help regulate her emotions
  • Out of universe - (34:15)
• Skit (47:39)
  • DOC: Hello Polaris, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • POLARIS: So whaddya wanna talk about first?
  • D: Just cut right to it, eh?
  • P: Not one for beating around the bush. When you’ve seen the stuff I have, you don’t waste time.
  • D: Fair enough. Well if that’s the case, I’ll leave it up to you to choose the topic, and we can go from there.
  • P: I don’t like being manipulated.
  • D: I’m sure you don’t, like most people.
  • P: I don’t mean mislead or gaslit, I mean people actually getting into my brain and making me do things beyond my control.
  • D: I’m...not sure how I can help with that other than to tell you to avoid situations where someone would get that opportunity.
  • P: bitter Thanks for nothing.
  • D: Wait! I’m not saying I can’t help you completely, I’m saying I don’t have psychic powers. I didn’t know if that’s what you were looking for; I didn’t want to mislead you...which kind of ties in, right? nervous laugh
  • P: Nice save. Yeah, I understand if you thought about it from a mutant perspective. No, I don’t want any psychic stuff. I want...resilience I guess.
  • D: You’ve survived, so that shows a baseline resilience. What sort of emotional and physical responses occur when you think about those situations?
  • P: Everything. All of it. It’s horrible.
  • D: No wonder it’s the first thing on your mind. Not to sound stereotypical, but trauma really does carry its own special kind of baggage. Is this recent stuff, or childhood, or both?
  • P: This is where it gets weird. It started at childhood, but I didn’t know about it, and then there were other problems as I got older that were unrelated to that, but were a direct result of the kid stuff. It sounds convoluted when I say it like that.
  • D: And yet, I was able to follow. Families hide things to theoretically protect the innocent, but there’s the risk of altering the relationship at a later age.
  • P: Exactly! And then I have to sort out all of it. My father, my foster parents, Alex, the other ones who controlled me...it’s too much.
  • D: It sounds like a lot-
  • P: interrupting And don't forget everyone that died...they didn’t HAVE to die...I’m not saying it’s my fault...but what if I didn’t do enough...I’m not some hysterical monster!
  • D: Whoa, I didn’t say -
  • P: And don’t say it’s not my fault. I had to be the embodiment of making the worst fears of humanity come true. Whenever someone powerful sees me, they automatically think of me as a commodity. And what’s the fix? Mind wipe. False memories. But all I ever do is keep digging. Nobody was able to keep me from my own truth.
  • D: Do you have -
  • P: clear pattern of interrupting from this point Anybody to help? Yeah. I really do, but how can they understand? They can’t. You can’t understand. frustrated Ugh, what’s the point of all this? I know that nobody else has the answers.
  • D: What do you -
  • P: I want trust! I want to be trusted, and to trust other people. Whenever I do, it backfires. I’m just so sick of-
  • D: FIRST OFF, LET ME FINISH.
  • P: Why are you shouting?
  • D: sigh I’m trying to match your intensity...although that’s a difficult task. You have identified the problem accurately. For some people, that takes years of counseling, so you’re ahead of the curve.
  • P: Well thank -
  • D: I’m not done. HOWEVER, it’s clear you’re trying to compensate for a historical lack of control with an even bigger focus on commandeering a conversation to your whims. That won’t work for longer periods with a professional. And…
  • P: pause and what?
  • D: Oh, I’m sorry, I was just expecting another interruption. Anyway, the point is, trust is not a light switch, even if everyone around you treats it like one. Does that make sense?
  • P: Sure. But try convincing anyone close in my life of that.
  • D: Not gonna give you any BS on that. You’re going to struggle with this for a while. electrical sound effects what the hell is that?
  • P: I didn’t do anything.
  • D: walking effects oh, I think we just had a power surge. thunder effect Damn weather is going crazy. You’d think Storm was… oh no...
  • P: more electrical effects, possible female scream
  • D: Are you okay?!
  • P: calm Okay with what?
  • D: You just look like you got electrocuted. I think we have a blackout in the area.
  • P: That sounds bad. Who are you, by the way?
  • D: NO!
  • P: Oh...well, If you’re gonna be a jerk about it, I’ll introduce myself first. I’m -
  • D: I know who you are...do you remember anything that you already said to me?
  • P: I asked you who you are, and you have this freaked out look. I’m supposed to meet with a therapist, so if you’re the assistant-
  • D: Let’s just reschedule...no wait, I think if…rubbing shoes on carpet hopefully I can build up the static
  • P: It looks like you’re a weird dancer so…another electric shock sound
  • D: Ow! I hope that did it
  • P: WHAT KIND OF SICKO PSYCHIATRIST ARE YOU SHOCKING ME LIKE THAT?! I spent all of this time pouring my heart out to you and you turn it into some joke?
  • D: Um...you’re welcome?
  • P: Ugh. You’re just like all of the others! walks out of the office, door shuts
  • D: shouting far AT LEAST I GAVE YOU YOUR MEMORIES BACK!
• Ending (52:44)
  • Recommended reading: All-New X-Factor
  • Next episodes: Winter break - back in January with new episodes, incl. Jessica Drew, Terra, and the Thing
  • Thanks to all our Patrons: Humble Citizens Dan, Tamara, Kate; Local Officials Frank, Rey, Jonathan; Mayors Angela, Chad, Devon, Maggie, Matt, Ryan, Tasha; Presidents Ariel, Jeanine, Matt, and Ruby
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Billy Mays & Slap Chop - Anthony (2:40)
• Star Trek “The line must be drawn here” - Anthony (17:56)

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• Intro

• Background (1:43)

  • Homelander created by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson in The Boys #3 (Nov. 2006)
  • Introduced as the leader and most powerful member of the Seven, a group of corporate-sponsored superheroes
  • Initially comes off as affable, only to reveal he’s actually a misogynistic jerk - and it gets worse from there
  • Public backstory is that he was an alien who landed on Earth, but in reality his mother was a mentally disabled woman who died in childbirth, and he was the byproduct of genetic experiments from Stormfront, a Nazi superhero - he spent his childhood strapped to a hydrogen bomb in case he tried to escape
  • Homelander hates being a hero, but only does so because Vought pays him handsomely
  • Later revealed that Billy Butcher, head of a group of humans who hate the Seven, has special dislike for Homelander because Homelander raped his wife, who died giving birth to a superpowered baby, which Billy then killed immediately #BecauseComics
  • Homelander is revealed to have no memory of this or many other horrific acts which he is blamed for - this causes him to have a psychotic break and begin doing whatever he wants
  • He has no memory because the horrible acts were actually committed by Black Noir, a clone of Homelander that Vought created to keep Homelander in check - since Black Noir’s sole purpose was to kill Homelander, he gaslit Homelander to drive him insane in order to justify killing him - Homelander and Black Noir fight, and Black Noir kills Homelander, but is injured enough that Billy could finish him off with a crowbar

• Issues (8:46)

  • Matt: Wow. The layers upon layers to this guy. He really is just the embodiment of the nature versus nurture argument writ large, isn't he? Injected with an artificial compound to give him superpowers in the womb, mother died giving birth to him, spent his entire childhood chained to a hydrogen bomb so he wouldn't escape from Vought. Raised with no other purpose in life but to become a living corporate-sanctioned product whose image and likeness would be sold for profit while he awed and wowed a company's customers. Given every single ounce of hedonistic excess he could ever want by his company to keep him happy and cooperative and, basically, to stop him from using his powers to destroy the world and/or enslave the human race. This naturally instilled in him some deep-seated psychological issues:
  • 1. Entitlement. I mean...holy crap. The man's mantra is, "I can do whatever the fuck I want." Coercing women into sex? Not a problem. Gleefully using his powers against civilians? Assholes shouldn't have been standing there. It's positively bone-chilling the way he doesn't even give his actions a second thought, or much of a first one.
  • 1. Complete lack of empathy. The man does not even consider non-Supes to be people. Absolutely does not care about the damage any of his actions cause. Also can't even be bothered to try to help people in need unless it's his bosses telling him to. On 9/11, doesn't even want to try and save the plane until someone points out they'll probably get fired if they don't. (13:54)
  • 1. Unapologetically racist and sexist. Has a hierarchy, even among his fellow supes. Women are beneath men. Nonwhites are beneath whites. Basically anyone who's not him or just like him is beneath him. Referencing The Deep, as Bill Burr would say, he drops the hard "r", hits the dismount, and sticks the landing. Multiple times. Views Maeve and Starlight as sex objects first, superheroes second.
  • But, and this is a but, it's implied that he at least tried to adhere to the idealism of a hero early on in his career, even if he was a bit of a prick about it. And it was nonstop long-term gaslighting campaign of Black Noir -- tricking him into believing he suffered from blackouts where he committed horrific acts of rape and mass murder and had no memory of it -- that caused him to go full-blown monster. That he thought to himself, in for a penny, in for a pound.
  • After he's descended into what we see in the comics, we learn that the major issue that he's struggled with his whole life is that, as Stillwell points out in their big confrontation, with all his power, he is really nothing special at his core. There is literally not one person chosen at random who couldn't do everything he'd done in his life if they were given his powers. Oh boy, does that eat at him. He's nobody, just a guy who won the superpower lottery and decided to treat it like most people do when they win the actual lottery. Man, that's a lot of meat to chew on right there.
  • Real-life analogue? Ummm...Dance Moms, anyone? Child actors? Child beauty pageant contestants? Kids who are steered into an activity before they have any inkling of whether or not they actually want to do it and pushed on relentlessly by obsessive parents who want their kids to be the best to satisfy their own egos, robbing them of a childhood and making them sincerely believe that they are better than anyone else? You don't have to go too far to imagine all the real-life Homelanders out there.
  • Gaslighting by Black Noir (28:00)
• Break (34:41)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Cheers to Comics, and Erica Schultz
• Treatment (36:33)
  • In-universe - Make it a talk show, and hope to get him to some level of self-awareness
  • Out of universe - (38:39) Does someone like this get a therapist who looks like them, or one who pushes their boundaries of comfort?
• Skit (NSFW warning) (46:28)
  • DOC: Hello Homelander, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • HOMELANDER: Good afternoon, Doc. I appreciate all mental health professionals. I may wear a cape, but you’re a true hero.
  • D: Thanks for that.
  • H: So how long you been with the company?
  • D: Company?
  • H: Vought. I figure it has something to do with the casualties from our last appearance. Real shame those people were in the car. Unfortunately, those terrorists were too far away for me to get to in time, and I had to throw SOMEthing at them.
  • D: I don’t work… wait, what?
  • H: You know how it is. Bad guys with guns. So I had to make a choice. There was a car nearby, so I threw it at the terrorists. Wasn’t until I heard the screams that I realized it wasn’t empty. And super though I may be, I’m only so fast. I mean, I’m no A-Train, that’s for sure.
  • D: Oh no...I’ve met many first responders who have had to make snap judgements like that, but not with such...force.
  • H: Yeah, they’re usually crybabies about it. I got over that s**t a long time ago.
  • D: So you really don’t care that there may have been any other way to handle life and death situations?
  • H: Do you have any real suggestions? I can see someone like you acting all Monday morning quarterback, but who really gets their hands dirty?
  • D: I’m not disrespecting you by asking to expand your thought process. You said you respect mental health professionals, right?
  • H: Real professionals, yeah.
  • D: What’s that supposed to mean?
  • H: Someone who got where they are through hard work and dedication, not just to fill some quota. You know, like we do with the Deep.
  • D: Glad I have the GPA and scholarships to prove it then. Unless you think the people important enough to run this operation would place any random quack in here to talk to you.
  • H: Anyway, I’m sure the paperwork monkeys have all that taken care of. I’ll do some talk show appearances, a photo op with the family members of the… Johnsons? Johnstons? Johnbergs? Ah, who the f**k cares.
  • D: Homelander, I’m sorry, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I don’t work for Vought.
  • H: Oh. Then why the f**k am I talking to you then?
  • D: You are right, it’s because those people died, though.
  • H: Well like I said, their fault they were nearby.
  • D: Oh my God, how does anyone believe you’re a hero?
  • H: Because I save poor bastards like you all the time.
  • D: OK, I’m done pretending. Homelander, you are under arrest by the United State military in conjunction with the deaths of four civilians, along with mass property damage. I am here to assess your competence prior to trial.
  • H: What. The. F**k.
  • D: And to ensure your cooperation, you have been placed inside an energy field, which I might as well reveal to you now. energy hum
  • H: Are you f**king kidding me?
  • D: So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way
  • H: You listen to me, you pencil pushing c*er. You have no goddamn right to keep me here, and I assure you as soon as I get out the FIRST fking thing I’m doing is ramming my fist so far down your throat you’ll be able to chew out your own ass for being so fking r**d.
  • D: So since you’re being detained, I don’t need to tell you that this is meant as therapy to improve anything. You’ve already given me the information I need to make a decision as to whether or not you’re dangerous.
  • H: You’re goddamn right I’m dangerous. I’m the most powerful f**king thing on the planet. There’s no God, there’s just me. And all you worthless peons can suck my asshole.
  • D: At this point, due to your severe agitation, I’m required to ask if you have any history of medication that has helped you to stay calm and perhaps relax for a while.
  • H: I relax by jerking off. And when I’m done killing you, I’ll jerk off on your f**king corpse.
  • D: Duly noted. Then it’s my selection with regards to… hmm… how do we deliver medication to an invulnerable being?
  • H: You aren’t going to deliver ST, do you understand? For someone who’s supposedly smart enough to graduate whatever degree mill you came from, you’re fking oblivious to how utterly F**KED you are when I break this field. There isn’t a thing that can hold me forever. And the fact that you haven’t run away screaming means you’re even dumber than you look, you stupid ni-
  • D: Alright, that’s enough of that. I was entertaining you up to this point, because your blustering isn’t all that uncommon in my area of practice. But the racism is a special kind of heinous. So with that, we’re done here.
  • H: No, we’re not done. You can walk away, but I promise, I will find you, and I punch will punch end punch you.
  • D: Good luck with that.
  • H: FK YOU! AHHHHH! punch shatter
  • D: Oh s***
  • H: punch gory sound effects I told you I’d kill you. And now to relax. zip masturbates furiously What the FK did I tell you? I do whatever the FK I want, when I want, because I’m fking GOD. You little ungh st.
• Ending (51:28)
  • Recommended reading: The Boys: Herogasm
  • Next episodes: Polaris, winter break
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Jim Carrey Madness quote - Anthony (6:52)
• Gilbert Gottfried Aristocrats (NSFW) - Anthony

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Google Play: here

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• Intro
  • Thanks to all our Patrons: Humble Citizens Dan & Kate; Local Officials Frank, Rey, Jonathan; Mayors Angela, Chad, Devon, Maggie, Matt, Nyan, Ryan, Tasha; Presidents Ariel, Jeanine, Matt, and Ruby
• Background (2:00)
  • Donna Troy created by Bob Haney and Bruno Tremiani in The Brave and the Bold #60 (July 1965)
  • Donna Troy was originally introduced as Wonder Girl, Wonder Woman’s younger sister, created in an effort to desexualize Diana and make her (and comics) acceptable to parents
  • Given a name and backstory in 1969 - Donna was an orphan rescued in a fire by Diana, brought to Themyscira, and given Amazonian powers - took the name Donna Troy as a secret identity, and joined the Teen Titans #BecauseComics
  • In 1984, Marv Wolfman & George Perez expanded the backstory in New Teen Titans - her birth mother was an unwed teen who put her up for adoption, and her adoptive mother put her back up for adoption after she couldn’t make enough money to raise Donna - she ends up being sold, but the sellers get caught in a fire, thus resulting in her orphaning #BecauseComics
  • She marries a man named Terry Long
  • After Crisis on Infinite Earths, the DC history is rewritten, so that Wonder Woman is newly introduced to the world - this necessitated retconning Donna’s history as well - now she is one of 12 orphans created by the Titans of Myth as “Titan Seeds”, who were named after ancient Greek cities and destined to become great heroes - the Titans of Myth erased her memory and sent her into the world - while battling her “sister” Sparta, the memories came back - Donna changes her name to Troia #BecauseComics
  • Donna becomes pregnant with a child by Terry - a group of time-traveling Titans from the future reveal that her child is born as a god and destroys the world - to prevent this from happening, she sacrifices her powers and Robert is born normally #BecauseComics
  • She joins the Darkstars and becomes an interstellar protector, but this splits up her marriage to Terry - Terry, Robert, and Terry’s daughter are all killed in a car accident, and the grief ends her brief relationship with Kyle Rayner
  • Origin retconned again where she was created by an Amazonian sorceress as a clone of Diana to be her friend - the clone was kidnapped by Dark Angel, who tortured Donna, forcing her to restart her life repeatedly - later revealed that Dark Angel is in fact a Donna Troy from another reality #BecauseComics
  • THEN it’s revealed that Donna is the only one who somehow retains memories of all the Multiverse pre-Crisis, and that every version of her origin story is simultaneously valid, because they are all alternate-universe versions of Donna #BecauseComics
  • Following Infinite Crisis and One Year Later, Donna takes up the mantle of Wonder Woman while Diana serves in the US government
  • In New 52, Donna is revealed to be created by an Amazonian sorceress to take over Themyscira from Diana, while also somehow having been a Teen Titan - she then joins the Fates after being killed in battle #BecauseComics
  • Rebirth reconciles the discrepancy once again by saying she was created to destroy Diana, but the Amazons gave her false memories of being rescued to help normalize her #BecauseComics

• Issues (8:07)

• Identity issues

• Relationship issues - 2 marriages, plus she loves Roy Harper (16:02)

• Tragedy of loss of family in one fell swoop (23:22)

• Break (32:04)

  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Last Sons of Krypton, and Meredith Finch
• Treatment (34:13)
  • In-universe - Give Donna a bracelet made of threads from the Lasso of Truth
  • Out of universe - Focus on addressing the immediate needs first, and build from there (37:25)
• Skit (feat. Jeanine) (44:47)
  • DOC: Hello Donna, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • DONNA: Hi Doc, nice to meet you.
  • DOC: So, what’s been going on that you came to see me?
  • DONNA: I’m not exactly thrilled about this, but I’m having trouble turning the page in my life.
  • DOC: Go on…
  • DONNA: This is going to be a bit...complicated so try to keep up.
  • DOC: You don’t have to preface anything. My job is to listen. You’re the one in charge of your life and how it unfolds.
  • DONNA: Am I though? Anyway, I guess you can say it starts with family problems. I always felt like I owed everything to my sister, and I started to resent her for it. It’s not easy living in the shadow of someone like that.
  • DOC: Yes, I could see how that could be painful. You do seem to have a strong presence, so if your sister shares the same trait, I’m sure there were some conflicts.
  • DONNA: Of course. There was the time she saved me, but I can be guilt free about that. I was a kid! Then I tried to take over for her, then I tried to be her...you know how it goes.
  • DOC: Wait...what?
  • DONNA: Nothing, really. She’s just hard headed and gets emotional when I steal the spotlight.
  • DOC: I see...I think. While I’m sure you know her well, I’d be careful to project your own interpretation of what someone else is feeling as pure fact.
  • DONNA: Don’t I know it! I think that’s what a lot of people do to me!
  • DOC: For instance…
  • DONNA: I get rumors that people think I’m some sort of...I don’t know...difficult person to get along with. They just can’t handle a woman who’s able to dish it out as well as take it.
  • DOC: Haters always exist. Try to ignore the noise.
  • DONNA: But what if it’s your own husband? Hate’s not the right word there. We were just...different to each other over time. Thank goodness I had the fortitude to learn that there are other fish in the sea. pause, then gets emotional Losing them still hurts, though.
  • DOC: Yeah, I get that. Grief is totally natural. The pain fades, but it remains, only altered through time and reflection
  • DONNA: Oh it’s worse than that. I’ve lost so much, doctor. Not just divorce, but death. All of it is unfair. bitter/angry ALL OF IT!
  • DOC: I hear it in your voice! Death is not something that anyone can take lightly.
  • DONNA: And to relive it, only to die again, then try again, and be beaten down over and over...what would you do? Go crazy? No, I fight on. If it weren’t for me, I wouldn’t have survived.
  • DOC: You...uh...showed a lot of resolution...in...um..conquering...your own...self doubt? I’m sorry, is this a metaphor or…
  • DONNA: still angry I have to live. I have to be who I am! I’m nobody’s puppet. Doctor, you can think I’m losing my senses all you want, but sometimes, things aren’t going to make sense when I’m talking to you. I may screw up some details. But recognize that everything I’m going through is REAL. Nobody should have to endure what I have, and when I get the chance, I make sure I put a stop to ANYONE that tries to do that to someone else. Do I make myself clear?!
  • DOC: pause From an emotional standpoint, yes. I’m not your enemy.
  • DONNA: But what if I am? What if, based on everything I know about myself, everyone thinks I’m a risk that they don’t want? What does that say about my love life? My career? How do I deal with the fact that the way I torture myself is to make myself fail over and over without mercy? How do I love myself enough to ignore how much I’ve hated myself?
  • DOC: flustered You know what? I don’t know. I won’t pretend. I don’t know how to process everything you’ve said so far. I’m still trying to untangle the convoluted way you’ve said things. BUT, I’m willing to do that. I’m not promising that this is going to be easy. I’ll have to remain candid about the times that you lose me. If you’re willing to still talk to me as I improve my grasp of your situation, I can offer some better insight. Until then, I think you need to slow down, just a bit, and let your thoughts catch up with your emotions.
  • DONNA: I don’t just sit back and let people tell me what to do.
  • DOC: But I usually do sit back and let people tell me what they want. I’m doing that with you and it only leads to more tangents. I’m getting out of my comfort zone and roping it in just a bit
  • DONNA: LIKE HER
  • DOC: ...bad choice of words. I’m allowing you to focus. Back to basics. Who are you?
  • DONNA: You start with the hardest question?
  • DOC: Clarifying...what is your name?
  • DONNA: Donna Troy
  • DOC: And let’s stop there. Thank you.
  • DONNA: What?
  • DOC: You can be confident in knowing you are Donna Troy. There is so much to unpack beyond that, but for now, let that be your principle. All of the other stuff may wax and wane in your conscience, but you need to keep yourself centered. You are Donna Troy. That is a worthy existence. Each session, I’ll let you spend a bit of time saying what is on your mind, but in the end, we’ll add one clarifying statement to conclude. That way, you’ll be more sure of yourself so that you can trust yourself enough to know that you can handle anyone who gets in your way, even...yourself.
  • DONNA: You don’t get it...but you GET it. I can work with that.
  • DOC: Wonderful.
  • DONNA: DON’T START.
• Ending (50:30)
  • Recommended reading: DC Special: The Return of Donna Troy
  • Next episodes: Homelander, Polaris
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Queen “Somebody to Love” - Doc (15:52)
• Roy Harper episode - Anthony/Doc (16:54)
• Blink-182 “What’s My Age Again” - Anthony (22:54)
• Story of the Zen Farmer - Doc (43:35)
• Face/Off - Doc (52:46)

Apple Podcasts: here

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TuneIn: here

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• Intro
  • Upcoming holiday hiatus

• Background (2:38)

  • Dane Whitman created by Roy Thomas and John Buscema in Avengers #47 (Dec. 1967)
  • Dane Whitman is the nephew of Nathan Garrett, a descendant of Sir Percy of Scandia who served in the Court of King Arthur as the Black Knight, and was bestowed with a sword known as the Ebony Blade, carved from a meteorite and only to be wielded by the most honorable of knights
  • The sword then made its way to Nathan Garrett, who called himself the Black Knight and used the Ebony Blade to commit crime - on his deathbed, he renounced his life and told Dane to take up the sword and restore the family legacy
  • After initially being mistaken for his villainous uncle, he later joins the Avengers and the Defenders
  • While serving with the Avengers, he discovers the Ebony Blade is cursed - the more blood is shed with it, the more its wielder becomes insane - after battling Morgan le Fay and Mordred, Sir Percy’s spirit merges with the blade, cancelling the curse
  • He then becomes romantically involved with Crystal and Sersi - He is attracted to both, but in an effort to save Sersi from an intergalactic illness, Dane is unwillingly bonded to Sersi in a merger called the “Gann Josin” - the bond is broken during a battle with alternate dimension versions of the Avengers, led by Proctor, a Dane Whitman from another world who was rejected by his Sersi and now travels the multiverse killing every version of her he can find - a Watcher creates an alternate reality where Sersi can be free of the curse, and Dane goes with her over guilt of his actions #BecauseComics
  • Meanwhile, his squire Sean Dolan gets the Ebony Blade, and becomes the villain known as Bloodwraith
  • Dane & Sersi are sent to the Ultraverse, home of Malibu Comics, where Dane becomes the leader of Ultraforce - attempts to return home, but ends up in the 12th century, where he battles Apocalypse and the mutant who would become Exodus
  • Upon returning to the 616 universe and current time, he joins Heroes for Hire for a period
  • After killing the villain Carnivore with the Ebony Blade, he leaves for Weirdworld, but is followed shortly after by the Avengers, who want to bring him to justice - Steve Rogers takes the Blade from him, but it drives him mad, and only after battling a possessed Steve and regaining control does the team realize Dane has things more under control than believed
  • During King In Black, it’s revealed that the Ebony Blade is actually an evil blade that amplifies the anger and insanity within its wielder - Merlyn lied to Dane, who realized all the times that he lost control were all his fault
  • Recently revealed he had a daughter, Jacks, who now shares the mantle of Black Knight with him, because the two of them can split the burden of the Ebony Blade so that neither handles the madness alone

• Issues (8:01)

  • Addicted to the Blade
  • Guilt over how much of his actions were his doing vs the blade (19:36)
  • Legacy character - trying to undo the negativity of his uncle, all while “failing” in his own way (27:53)
• Break (35:16)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Bedknobs & Broomflicks, and Philip Kennedy Johnson
• Treatment (38:57)
  • In-universe - Bring in Kazuma Kuwabara from YuYu Hakusho, who can manifest energy into a sword, and teach him to let go of the Ebony Blade and focus on other things
  • Out of universe - (41:02)
• Skit (47:27)
  • DOC: Hello Dane, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • DANE WHITMAN: Hi Doc.
  • DOC: So what can I do for you?
  • DW: Well…
  • SIR PERCY: Why do ye waste yer time with this fool? He cannot comprehend the magnitude of yer burden.
  • DOC: Are you alright? You seem a bit… distant.
  • DW: Doc, schizophrenia is when you hear voices in your head, right?
  • DOC: Auditory hallucinations can be a symptom, although they’re not exclusive to schizophrenia nor are they present in every case of schizophrenia. What makes you bring that up?
  • SP: Go on, tell him. Tell him ye hear yer great-great-granda talk to ye. Better yet, tell him ye can SEE me. Aye, that’ll help.
  • DW: shut up
  • DOC: I’m sorry, are you-
  • DW: No, not to you.
  • SP: Doin’ great so far.
  • DW: It’s my great-grandfather. Great… I don’t even know how many times over.
  • SP: Greater than ye’ll ever be, at this rate.
  • DOC: OK…
  • DW: Let me start over. I have this sword.
  • SP: Oh sure, blame the sword. Not the sword’s fault yer a foppish twit who’s in over ye head.
  • DW: Keep it up, old man, and I’ll find a way to bring you back to life just to cut your head off.
  • DOC: Alright, I’m getting the idea that I’m definitely not the only person you’re talking to here. Are you talking to the sword?
  • DW: No, but the sword is the reason I’m talking to someone else.
  • DOC: Keep going.
  • SP: Aye, I cannae wait to hear how ye explain this.
  • DW: This sword is powerful.
  • SP: sarcastic clap bravo, hero. Are ye gonna tell ‘em it cuts things, too?
  • DOC: For you to put so much stock in it, I’m sure it is. How does that connect to talking to someone else?
  • DW: If it weren’t for my kin, I wouldn’t have it.
  • DOC: Ah, a treasured heirloom...but more to it still, I’m guessing. Any soldier
  • SP AND DW: KNIGHT
  • DOC: Sorry...any knight holds their weapon dear to them. You don’t just keep it close, though. You’re staring at it.
  • SP: It’s better than lookin’ at his face. Ye know he’d see through ye, right?
  • DW: He’s bonded with the sword...my ancestor...I know this sounds crazy
  • DOC: I’d never say that
  • SP: Cuz he’s blind to ye, lad.
  • DOC: Is there anything that keeps you distracted, so your stress doesn’t overwhelm you?
  • DW: I don’t part with my duties. I have sworn to protect what’s right.
  • SP: Atta’ boy!
  • DOC: Sometimes being away from something you cherish can give a person a fresh perspective.
  • DW: I’m uniquely qualified to handle this weapon. That’s not the problem. It’s what happens when I let others get in my way
  • SP: So ye see now? He doesn’t know how special you are...WE are. This is a gift, lad.
  • DOC: Nobody is put on the Earth to solely be your obstacle. Only circumstances and personal choices ever do that. I actually want to take this psychological journey WITH you, not against you.
  • DW: I’ve fought alongside many. I’m not paranoid. Just stressed.
  • DOC (subdued) AND SP (emphatic) : I can see that
  • DW: If my mind’s not right, I’ll lose control. Believe me, nobody wants that.
  • SP: So take control
  • DOC: So let go a bit
  • DW: clearly confused what?
  • SP: This ward of potions wants to weaken ye, too soft.
  • DOC: You're going to have to...I don’t know...ration out or delegate your responsibilities. That’s a tough thing to do in the short term, but you’ll be able to redouble your efforts if you give yourself time to rest. Plus, the fact that you’re STILL staring at that sword concerns me.
  • DW: (somber) Tell me, doctor...do you think a man can do good things with dark intentions?
  • SP: What are ye on about?
  • DOC: I don’t pretend to know the answer to hypotheticals
  • DW: It’s NOT hypothetical. frustrated groan This sword...feeds off of some things that I’d rather not talk about, not even to a psychiatrist. When it works...oh MAN does it work. I can slay any enemy. I can save people. But when things go bad...like I said, let’s not talk about it.
  • DOC: Well, that’s kind of my thing, sooooo
  • SP: Keep going and someone who would not be considered worthy of the court will know more than some of the sorcerers in my day
  • DW: I...can’t. The point is, I don’t want to go nuts. I don’t need to be labeled insane. I have a lot of wrongs to right. Not just for me...for anybody who ever held this sword. My family. Does that part make sense?
  • DOC: Definitely.
  • SP: Ye see? You only need yerself, and that sword. I can still guide ye.
  • DOC: From everything you’ve told me, I want to make an alliance. It’s my own oath to help that compels me to make sure you remain fit to wield that thing. A combination of talk therapy along with medication management
  • SP: interrupting No apothecaries
  • DW: I...have a bit of trouble with that last part.
  • DOC: You, or someone else?
  • SP: HE CANNAE KNOW THAT!
  • DW: I’d rather not say
  • DOC: I’ll let you in on something...your delays in responses are a giveaway that you have what we call internal stimuli. I’m not trying to judge that. But if you have to hesitate like that when there are life and death decisions to be made, and even if they’re distracting you with positive ideas, you’re going to falter. I see it all the time. And if you don’t take charge of this right now, then one of your fellow heroes or friends or family will try to protect you by whatever means necessary. It doesn’t have to get to that point.
  • SP: Aye, he means well, but he doesn’t know our kind.
  • DW: pause You don’t make this easy
  • DOC: Nothing over a sword ever is, right?
• Ending (53:45)
  • Recommended reading: 2015 Black Knight solo series
  • Next episodes: Donna Troy, Homelander, Polaris
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Crystal episode - Anthony (4:09)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

iHeartRadio: here

Spotify: here

Twitter

Facebook

Patreon

TeePublic

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View Details

• Intro
  • Thanks to all our Patrons: Humble Citizens Dan and Kate; Local Officials Frank, Rey, and Jonathan; Mayors Angela, Chad, Devon, Maggie, Matt, Nyan, Ryan, and Tasha; Presidents Ariel, Jeanine, Matt, and Ruby
  • Thanks to Khelan from Homo Superior - explain the show

• Background (3:30)

  • Wiccan created by Allen Heinberg and Jim Cheung in Young Avengers #1 (April 2005)
  • Billy Kaplan is a magic user recruited by Iron Lad (a time-traveling variant of Kang the Conqueror) to join a team of heroes to replace the disbanded Avengers
  • Initially calling himself Asgardian, he changes his name to Wiccan
  • Begins dating his teammate Teddy Altman, the shapeshifter called Hulkling
  • Meets Tommy Shepherd, who looks identically to him but has different hair and superspeed powers
  • Billy & the Young Avengers join Captain America’s anti-registration team in Civil War - an attack on Billy is what kicks off a massive fight that leaves several heroes dead or incapacitated
  • Billy & Tommy come to learn of a possible connection to the Scarlet Witch, who previously had twin boys named Billy & Tommy that vanished when it was revealed that she created them out of chaos magic, but they later vanished after Mephisto wiped them from existence - their souls were “repurposed” into Billy Kaplan & Tommy Shepherd #BecauseComics
  • Children’s Crusade: Billy & the Young Avengers seek out Wanda, who had been missing since House of M, to determine parentage - after finding an amnesiac Wanda in Latveria and engaged to Dr. Doom, she has her memory & powers restored, and reveals that she is in fact their mom - a battle with Dr. Doom leaves Cassie dead, but Teddy proposes to Billy
  • Empyre: Thanks to his Skrull-Kree heritage, Teddy becomes Emperor of a new alliance, and they declare war on the Cotati, a plant-like race bent on revenge against former Skrull enslavers - before he leaves, Teddy and Billy get married in Vegas, and then officially once the war is over, combining Skrull, Kree, and Jewish customs
  • Currently serving as prince consort to Teddy

• Issues (7:32)

  • Uncertainty over parentage causes stress
  • Questions over extent of powers (17:40)
  • Husband's responsibilities pull him off-world (30:14)
  • Not an issue: his family and support system (37:38)
• Break (47:43)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Play Comics, and Al Ewing
• Treatment (49:23)
  • In-universe - Have Billy say “no more magic” to put aside that aspect of his life for a while
  • Out of universe - Focus on what the patient wants to talk about, and whether they have a good fit with the therapist (51:36)
• Skit (feat. Khelan) (59:20)
  • DOC: Hello Billy, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • BILLY: Hey Doc.
  • D: How are you?
  • B: I mean, things have been worse.
  • D: That’s not exactly a rousing endorsement.
  • B: Sorry, I just mean there were a lot of questions that were driving me crazy, and I don’t have nearly as many as I did before. That’s a good thing.
  • D: I’m glad to hear that. So what lingers?
  • B: Still a ton of stuff. pause This is a bit hard, you know? I get it’s your job, but sometimes I think even professionals will misinterpret what I’m saying, so I’m careful with what I let out.
  • D: Totally understandable. Just remember that this is confidential, so even if things don’t go as expected, they stay between us as long as no one is put in danger.
  • B: Good to know.
  • D: So, name something you want to discuss.
  • B: Iwanttobecalmiwanttobecalmiwanttobecalm…
  • D: Excuse me?
  • B: Sorry, just wanted to be sure I was in the right headspace before I started. Is it wrong to want your husband to be around more?
  • D: That...sounds like a loaded question. I take it you mean “more than he is now” and that there is some sort of barrier to that?
  • B: Exactly.
  • D: Does he disagree with you?
  • B: NOT exactly. It’s more to do with...outside activities.
  • D: Are they activities that you approve of?
  • B: I don’t have a choice.
  • D: There’s always a choice; it’s just a matter of consequences.
  • B: Well, the consequences here involve the wellbeing of a whole empire, so do with that what you will.
  • D: pause Heavy stuff.
  • B: And listen, I’m so proud of him taking on this responsibility, and he does it so well and capably. And it doesn’t hurt that he looks AMAZING with a crown on his head. I just… I want some more US time, y’know?
  • D: For once when talking to a superhero, I DO know, quite well. How far would you say the scale has shifted?
  • B: Oh, he hasn’t packed on weight or anything. He still can bench press
  • D: interrupting I’m glad that you’re clearly still into him physically...what I meant was, on the work-life balance spectrum of his time with the crown versus his time with you, where is he on that scale?
  • B: Hmmmm...maybe 75-25? No that’s too harsh. How about 60-40.
  • D: Your first answer was your gut, and that’s ok. Intuition that’s unrecognized can lead to dangerous emotional impulse. Your second answer sounds like what you would settle for. But tell me...really. What do you want it to be?
  • B: The selfish side of me would say 5-95, and that’s being generous. I just… we’re newly married, our honeymoon was interrupted by symbiote dragons attacking the resort, and it seems like he can’t make a decision without having to worry about some intergalactic treaty or alliance hanging on his every move. I love him, and I’ll be his ride or die until neither of us draw breath, but I confess I did NOT see this as part of the whole “till death do us part” thing when I fell in love with him. So the simple answer is I don’t honestly know what a good balance would be, but I know this ain’t it.
  • D: That may be one of the most mature answers I’ve heard in a long time. I’m not going to promise that those outside factors are going to change, but I can vow that it is my ethical duty to help your attempts at discovering a better balance each time we discuss it in each session. My only caution to you is to not expect things to just magically change.
  • B: Except you realize who you’re talking to, right?
  • D: Yes, but even still-
  • B: Iwantabetterbalanceiwantabetterbalanceiwantabetterbalance
  • D: As I was saying, I know you want things to get towards total devotion, but the increase in civil unrest may be taking an emotional toll on your partner. Have you talked about that with him?
  • B: Pardon me, but, I don’t think it’s THAT bad.
  • D: Well, 25-75 isn’t your perfect goal, and yet, the attempts on the lives of your fellow heroes must have led to so much anxiety.
  • B: No, no, that’s not -
  • D: But you did say he was willing to surrender if it came time to save you. I’m glad that he has made it known how much he loves you.
  • B: Iwantabetterkingdomiwantabetterkingdomiwantabetterkingdom
  • D: You’re clearly using your abilities to influence what you can. I’ve been talking a lot here. Rather than creating more stress for yourself, let me know, what’s your take on your husband’s pushback?
  • B: semi-robotic I want the kingdom to be better. normal I thought I made that clear with the spells and the talking and I really thought you would have picked up on this by now oh my gosh have I completely made things worse oh no oh no oh no not again…
  • D: Well, I usually don’t jump to this in a session, but your anxiety appears to be through the roof! Have you considered other forms of relaxation, or a discussion on possible medication management?
  • B: Sorry, sorry, I just had a bit of a freakout there...we were talking about acceptable balance. I’m willing to work at it the slow...the NON MAGIC way.
  • D: No problem. 76-24 is not the worst I’ve ever heard in terms of a ratio
  • B: WHAT?
  • D: Just a bit of humor on my end. Usually the reality is somewhere between your gut and your partner’s thoughts. I’m in no position right now to tell what the number is. Only you know that.
  • B: Oh, so the things you said before, with what I cast, and the responses after that, it wasn’t so bad I didn’t screw everything up there's still a chance oh my god this is amazing!
  • D: You’re...welcome? I must say, for someone who knows a lot about things I couldn’t begin to understand, you sell yourself short with how much you have in your control.
  • B: Maybe not as much as you think, doctor.
  • D: Ok then, perhaps we’ll discuss how much control you have over the situation in our next session. In the meantime, enjoy that makeup honeymoon that your constituents planned for you out of respect for your personal lives.
  • B: Whoa...whoa...then it really made a difference? I did better? I...nevermind. You’re right. Let’s leave it at that. Iwanttogototeddyiwanttogototeddyiwanttogototeddy...
• Ending (66:24)
  • Recommended reading: Young Avengers Vol 1
  • Review read: Tamir “Mad at myself for sleeping on such a unique and engaging podcast, but after binging and catching up in just under 3 months I have two things to say: 1) This podcast is amazing. Just because the characters are fictional doesn't mean the issues they have are and it always surprises me when I get emotionally invested in an episode and have to remind myself that I'm in public. 2) I'm now sad that I have to wait weekly for new episodes when I was knocking out a couple a day while working. Listener for life.”
  • Next episodes: Donna Troy, Homelander, Polaris
  • Plugs for social

References:

• WandaVision episode - Anthony (3:36)
• Trevor Project - Khelan (55:55)

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• Intro
  • Thanks to new Mayor level Patron Matt (0:40)

• Background (2:16)

  • Squirrel Girl created by Will Murray and Steve Ditko in Marvel Super Heroes Vol. 2 #8 (Winter 1991)
  • Doreen Green discovered at 10 years old she could communicate with squirrels, and also grew a prehensile tail
  • At 14, attacks Iron Man in an attempt to impress him, and helps him defeat Doctor Doom (later revealed to be a Doombot, then an imposter, then the real thing #BecauseComics)
  • Later joins the Great Lakes Avengers, where her squirrel sidekick Monkey Joe dies - he is replaced by Tippy-Toe
  • Registers as a hero during Civil War, and it’s revealed she has a crush on Speedball/Penance, but she finds his new dark persona off-putting
  • Serves as nanny to Danielle Cage, daughter of Luke Cage & Jessica Jones
  • Enrolls in Empire State University as a college student majoring in computer science, where she and her roommate Nancy, along with their friends Chipmunk Hunk & Koi Boi work on balancing schoolwork, saving the world, and managing social lives

• Issues (7:12)

  • Jeanine: She’s incredibly powerful yet no one addresses it
  • Positivity/giving people benefit of the doubt works against her often (18:20)
  • Point of communication with community that’s under represented/doesn’t have a voice (30:46)
• Break (37:53)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Geek Peak Podcast, and Cullen Bunn
• Treatment (39:35)
  • In-universe - Bring the squirrels into therapy
  • Out of universe - (42:44)
• Skit (feat. Lisa from Comic Book Couples Counseling as Squirrel Girl) (50:38)
  • DOC: Hello Squirrel Girl, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • SQUIRREL GIRL: Oh I know who you are. I have your trading card!
  • D: What?
  • SG: Oh, Deadpool came up with trading cards for all kinds of heroes, villains, and other associated characters.
  • D: But I’m not a-
  • SG: Now that I’m seeing you in person, though, I think the artist didn’t capture your features well at all.
  • D: I’m so confused…
  • SG: Sorry, I know I’m throwing a lot at you. Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Doree-uh, Squirrel Girl.
  • D: I know your name, but we can go with Squirrel Girl if you’d like.
  • SG: How’d you discover that? My totally secret identity is totally a secret. Unless… CAN YOU TALK TO SQUIRRELS TOO?
  • D: No, can’t say that I can. (Although I honestly haven’t tried…) Anyway, I’m not supposed to be the focus of an encounter. How can I help you?
  • SG: Can I get an autograph?
  • D: pause You are really taking this trading card thing to heart, huh?
  • SG: Is that a yes?
  • D: Short answer, no. Longer answer, only if you actually discuss something that is worth being in a psychiatrist’s office for besides giving off fangirl vibes.
  • SG: Well, aren’t you a party pooper! Ok then, help me deal with squirrels.
  • D: I...uh...well, I would need to know a little about their...personalities? Is there some sort of baseline compatible with humans and the type of sentience I’d be used to?
  • SG: They’re way more capable of bridging the gap between humanity and squirreldom than you think! They can be as moody and petty and impulsive as anyone you’ve ever treated. I’m sure of that.
  • D: I usually see you pictured with one squirrel, though. Obviously you have favorites. Pets are certainly a part of the family.
  • SG: Do you consider your child to be a pet, then?
  • D: Well...no. I can see how my wording can make things sound awkward. I’m sure to make plenty of mistakes.
  • SG: So that part of the card is true!
  • D: flustered Does that card say anything GOOD about me?
  • SG: I thought you weren’t going to talk about yourself.
  • D: Only because you brought it up again! So...back to it. You’re close to squirrels. How does that compare to humans around you?
  • SG: Not bad. Actually, I think I can relate to just about anything that wants to talk.
  • D: That’s wonderful! Do you have an example?
  • SG: I was nice to Galactus so he didn’t eat the Earth.
  • D: You...you saved all of us from something that could eradicate us with hunger, all by being nice to him? You shooed away an omnipotent being? You defeated multiple villains with an army of creatures the average person ignores or actively tries to avoid. Life...doesn’t usually work out that way.
  • SG: It does for me. Are you calling me a liar?
  • D: No! In fact, you may be the most honest patient I’ve had in a while. But that’s not something I can help you improve. What’s something that you consider to be a weakness?
  • SG: Sometimes, I think I’m too nice.
  • D: I’ve definitely heard that before. You don’t want to give too much of yourself to others, and leave little time for yourself. What would you say is the ideal balance for you?
  • SG: Maybe stereotypical, but how about 50/50.
  • D: 50/50...of what? There’s more than 2 sides to a person’s life.
  • SG: Not necessarily. Half for me, half for everyone else.
  • D: truly stunned I mean, spiritual, physical, family and friends, vocational...you’re telling me that it all comes down to 50/50?
  • SG: Yup. Works for me. Works for my teammates. It probably doesn’t work for enemies, but that’s why I win!
  • D: I don’t want to lose track of you saying you’re TOO nice. And yet, you’re giving me an amazing, elegant schema for which you view life. What’s off kilter?
  • SG: I babysit too much.
  • D: So...don’t do it as much?
  • SG: genuine surprise Really? That makes so much sense! Then I would have more time to do other things! Wow. I needed to hear that. Thank you so much!
  • D: clearly thinks this is sarcasm You don’t have to bait me into thinking-
  • SG: interrupting Sometimes it just takes a professional like you to remind a regular old superbeing like me about the little things. That intelligence rating on your card is spot on!
  • D: Wait...what? I’m considered intelligent? At what rank?
  • SG: Ooooh, nice try, but I learned my lesson. You don’t want to talk about yourself or that silly card.
  • D: But I thought you wanted me to sign it.
  • SG: Hmm… I suppose it would add to the value. Although we don’t have any way to verify the signature, and CGC is backed up like CRAZY these days… fine, here you go.
  • D: signing sound And now that I have it, lemme take a look… A THREE?!?! THAT’S IT?!?!
  • SG: It’s out of 7, so it’s not as bad as it sounds.
  • D: YOU’RE NOT HELPING.
  • SG:I’m only a three too. So is Captain America.
  • D: I’m...with...him...but he’s the very essence of what a hero is supposed to be. I gushed to him...oops!
  • SG: I KNEW IT! You’re just like all of us, and yet, you still help everyone you see. We’re not so different.
  • D: Except you have squirrel powers.
  • SG: Are you going to keep saying that?
  • D: As long as you keep saying I’m just like you.
  • SG: Then how can you bridge the gap between people who can’t see the common stuff?
  • D: pause You just summarized my whole life’s goal to make sure I stayed on track. I’m dumbfounded. How about this: I try to understand more about critter characterization, and you...just keep being you, except stick to a basic question I can answer like before.
  • SG: It’s a deal! I’ll bring Tippy-Toe along next time, and I’ll translate for you.
  • D: OK. So should I bring nuts for him-
  • SG: Her. And we’ll bring our own. She’s very particular. No offense.
  • D: Understood.
• Ending (57:33)
  • Thanks to Lisa - check out Comic Book Couples Counseling podcast
  • Recommended reading: Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
  • Next episodes: Wiccan, Donna Troy, Homelander
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Batman “You wanna get nuts?” - Anthony (0:35)
• Luke Cage/Jessica Jones episodes - Anthony (4:51)
• Chris Jericho/Rock promo - Doc/Anthony (11:30)

Apple Podcasts: here

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• Intro

• Background (2:22)

  • Let's talk supervillain parents. How do you go about modelling good behavior for your kids when your own behavior tends to lean towards world domination? Do you try and create a Little Lord of Destruction to follow in your footsteps and eventually take your place? Or did the parenthood switch actually flip and you're horrified at the thought of your kids taking after you, leading to you doing everything possible to try and break the cycle? And if it's the latter, how do you do it? Do you go the Tony Soprano route and just keep them far away from your activities and just give them the best life possible so that they'll never want for anything and never have to turn to crime? Oops, now they're spoiled brats who lack empathy and act hurtfully towards others without a second thought. Do you abandon the kid and stay far, far away from them so your corruptive influence will never touch them? Oops, growing up with an absent parent is actually a major contributor to a lot of social problems. Do you shield them and try to live a double life as a mundane workaday respectable person? OK...that's a major time bomb waiting to go off when they discover the truth. Or do you decide the kid's worth going straight for? Ahh...there's the rub.
  • 1. The ones who want their kids to follow in their footsteps, actively groom them to do so, succeed at it, and feel no remorse about it. The one that springs to mind immediately is Senator Roark from Sin City. Evil, ruthless, cunning, and sadistic to the core, his boy Junior (That Yellow Bastard) is every bit of his father and then some. I'm sure there are others, but he's at the top of my list. (4:16)
  • 1. The ones who want their kids to follow in their footsteps, but fail at it miserably for one reason or another, and the kids become heroes. How the parents feel about it varies; there are lots of examples, but my favorite is definitely Darkseid with Orion. Mortal enemies, destined to fight to the death and both very willing to do so, but buried in the subtext all those decades (and finally stated in Countdown to Final Crisis when Orion "kills" him) is that Darkseid is secretly very proud of what a fierce, bold, renowned warrior Orion has become, even if it's all being pitted against him. (8:30)
  • 1. The "do as I say, not as I do" parents. These are ones who desperately want their kids to be good, but they're not willing to model good behavior themselves and give up their lives of crime. Most of the members of The Pride qualify -- I think Xavin's wanted him/her to eventually grow up and be a Skrull overlord, but for the most part, they just want their kids to have normal happy lives and go to great lengths to keep their supervillainy from them. (15:06)
  • 1. The "give my kids everything they could want so that they won't need to be criminals" parents. Best example I can think of is definitely Tombstone. When he's not away in prison, he gives his daughter Janice everything. Spoils her rotten. Eventually gives her a first-class education at Columbia Law. She worships him and wants to be like him, but he's horrified that she would stoop to follow in his footsteps; he got her that law degree so she'd never have to. And besides, as he says, a lawyer's work is basically crime that you can't get arrested for. (And really, he's not wrong.) Of course, she becomes The Beetle. (22:26)
  • 1. The ones that are horrified at the effects their villainy has on their kids, and desperately want to change and go straight. Easy example is The Lizard. Curt Connors became The Lizard almost entirely by accident, and devotes nearly every lucid moment alternating between trying to cure himself and mitigating the damage to his family that his episodes cause. And he either must be really really good at it or Martha and Billy Connors are saints for how much they put up with from him. Until Martha dies and Curt has to change Billy into a Lizard to cure him of the Carrion virus. #BecauseComics. (30:20)
  • 1. The ones that unconditionally love their children whether they're allied with them, fighting against them, or don't want to have anything to do with them one way or the other. They'd do anything for them and fly to their side in their times of need no matter what. Hello, Magneto. That one's obvious. A slightly different dynamic would be Galactus with Silver Surfer. The arcs written in the last 20 years by JMS and Greg Pak have really showcased an entirely different dynamic between the two. Surfer will always be Galactus' creation and still finds himself at odds with him from time to time, but the two will help each other out if the other needs it at the drop of a hat. Surfer understands Galactus a lot better, and to the extent that Galactus as a cosmic entity is capable of such things, I think Surfer is clearly his favorite herald, and he has an infinite capacity for forgiveness no matter how many times he rebels. I liken them to a father and son where the son has grown into a mature adult himself. Even if they don't have a lot in common, they're always family, and they'll always have an unspoken bond. (38:48)

• Break (46:18)

  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Ignorance Was Bliss, and Gail Simone
• Treatment (47:54)
  • This isn't even one of those themes where I have to stretch it to find a real-world analogue. Lots of us were raised by parents who didn't model great behavior for us. Heck, in our generation, half of us grew up with broken homes, and a lot of those situations led to one parent being absent and barely raising us if at all. There have been libraries worth of sociological and macroeconomic studies that have detailed the effects. If you're a prospective new parent who's fortunate enough to be aware that you're a very flawed person who needs to avoid passing on your negative tendencies to your kids, how do you go about doing it?
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Comics. Just read comics.
  • Next episodes: Squirrel Girl, Wiccan, Donna Troy
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Shang-Chi episode - Anthony (1:22)
• Damian Wayne episode - Anthony (12:53)
• Ant-Man “Be the hero she already thinks you are” - Anthony (28:24)

Apple Podcasts: here

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Creator Interview - Pocus Hocus

• Intro - Allen Dunford & Will Radford
• Questions
  • Your backgrounds (2:41)
  • First story (5:34)
  • Where did the story come from (6:51)
  • What drove Pocus to sell his soul? (13:52)
  • How much did you “write what you know” (18:18)
  • Demon’s backstory & motivation (22:30)
  • How did you find the artists (26:15)
  • How far in advance do you have the story mapped out (31:24)
  • Will each future issue be its own, or will there be bundles? (37:40)
  • Timeframe for issue 3 (39:10)
  • Where can people find you on social media (40:55)
• Pocus Hocus Kickstarter

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• Intro
  • Ask for reviews

• Background (1:52)

  • Starfire (Princess Koriand'r) created by Marv Wolfman and George Perez in DC Comics Presents #26 (Oct 1980)
  • Second in succession to the throne of Tamaran, she and her sister were kidnapped, and her father sold her off to ensure peace
  • After enduring several years of slavery and sexual torture, she was experimented on by being subjected to ever-increasing energy levels, which gave her the ability to release energy blasts from her hands, as well as fly - her sister (who had also undergone the experimentation, and was more powerful) attacked her, however, and had her sentenced to execution
  • She escaped and made her way to Earth, where she took the name Starfire (the Earth translation of Koriand’r) and joined the Teen Titans
  • Twice married to Tamaranian men, once for politics and once for love - both died
  • Almost married Dick, until a possessed Raven interrupted the ceremony #BecauseComics
  • Went missing after Infinite Crisis, although she was one of the heroes who helped defeat Alexander Luthor
  • Alongside Adam Strange & Animal Man, gets stranded on an unknown planet - the three of them fight alongside each other several times
  • During Blackest Night, a psychic attack reveals her greatest desire is to marry Dick Grayson
  • New 52 - Backstory is essentially the same, but now she’s one of the Outlaws alongside Jason Todd & Roy Harper - close friends with Dick Grayson, who avoids romantic feelings for her
  • Rebirth - Rejoins the Titans, and becomes leader after Damian Wayne is removed from the role
  • Killed by her sister Komand’r (Blackfire), who believes she will eventually come back to life

• Issues (4:41)

  • Tortured and enslaved in her childhood
  • Horrible relationship with her sister (13:09)
  • On/off relationship with Dick (21:40)
• Break (27:48)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Talk Me Into, and Jeremy Whitley
• Treatment (29:32)
  • In-universe - Use her energy projection powers to help show her emotional state at any given time
  • Out of universe - (32:33)
• Skit
  • Hello Starfire, I’m Dr. Issues. -Greetings, doctor. Just to be clear, “Starfire” is a media creation. Please, call me Koriand’r.
  • My apologies, Koriand’r. So, what can I do for you? -Others have told me that I am a bit of an...energetic spirit. I get too rough. I would disagree, but it has been said so many times that I wonder if there is some truth to it.
  • In what context? -All of them.
  • sigh Um, can you give an example? -Suppose there is a powerful enemy at your door right now, and I am with a team. At least one of them stands slack-jawed, another one tries to start a conversation or say something to defuse the situation. By the time they realized what has happened, I have already thrown the first punch. It is a bit of a blur after that, and we have won, but at least one other person is yelling at me for being too hasty.
  • I’ve heard that so many times. “Ready, Fire, Aim.” -More like “Aim and Fire before they are ready.” I am not careless, just efficient.
  • And you want the others to match your efficiency? -I know they cannot. I do not want them to resent me for doing what works. This may sound perverse, but it is actually fun to fight and win!
  • I do my homework, Koriand’r. I don’t think it’s your fighting that really upsets anyone, at least not as much as you think. -Then what is it?
  • I’m not certain, but maybe your...uh...style? -sound effect, charging up? I LOVE MY STYLE!
  • clearly shaken And you SHOULD! I’m not criticizing it! I’m saying...on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most flamboyant, you’re an 11. -Thank you so much! It is a compliment to be seen as a bright shining beacon on Tamaran.
  • ahem You’re...welcome? Hoo boy...look, you do you, alright? I’m trying to tow the line between discretion and blatancy. -I am not some… what is the word, a head of air! Just because I only know what one of those words meant does not mean you can try and make me feel stupid.
  • deep breath Let’s try again. I want to be kind, but I also want to be honest. I’m thankful that you are proud of who you are. Nobody can take that from you. But understand that being so intense in every sphere of your life is going to burn others out if you’re not careful once in a while. However, I may be wrong if you’ve cultivated the best circle of friends and family already. That would make my point moot. -pause, less intense than before It is partly correct.
  • Which part? -Definitely family. My sister. I love her.
  • That’s a good thing. -No...I should not. Not after what she did to me. Several times. But I have forgiven her. Too many people have told me that was a dumb thing to do...that she will betray me again.
  • There’s no point in regaining pain. There are enough burdens in our lives that we shouldn’t add extra. Love is an amazing thing. -But at what cost? I have traded many different types of love...some not truly of my choice. Raven says I should be bitter after what I have endured...but I am not. Sometimes I do not understand why I feel this way, but, what it is it is. I think that is the Earthen expression.
  • You are clear with that. Your smile literally lights up a room! I’m glad that you have someone like that to confide in -She was one of the “traded loves” I talked about. At first I would consider her an enemy. But I do not have the type of bond that I truly long for.
  • That would be… - awestruck Dick.
  • flustered erm...I’m not that kind of therap - oblivious, still awestruck Grayson.
  • OH THANK GOD. I mean, thank goodness we can talk about someone so important to you. -He is better than before, you know. He has said some things about you. That is why I came here. Can you find a way for us to be together? It is so very complicated! Some of the times, I wish to have better understanding of Earthen relationships. Other times, I feel it is better to be in the darkness.
  • Sorry, my role is not to be a matchmaker, or directly “fix” relationships. Only you two can do that. What I CAN do, is work with you to process your emotions and behaviors so that whatever happens, your experiences get better over time. -Wonderful! This calls for a Tamaranian hug!
  • panic NO! calms down No, I’m not a hugger as a professional. -But that is the best way to share joy with everyone!
  • See, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s best for YOU...not everyone. Sure, there are plenty of people who agree with you, but I’ll admit, I’m a bit weird. Respecting my wishes would bring me joy. Save that joy for Raven...or Dick...or whomever is used to it. -Raven has said the same thing. But in the end, hugs will win the day! Come on, Doctor of the Issues, you will see for yourself.
  • sound of bones crunching Ugh…whispering agony my spine…I see what you mean by “too rough” -Oops. Your training seems to be weak. I will be more careful next time.
  • Oof...next time?
• Ending (43:47)
  • Recommended reading: OG Teen Titans by Wolfman & Perez
  • Next episodes: Children of super villains, Squirrel Girl, Wiccan
  • Plugs for social

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• Intro

• Background (1:25)

  • Emma Frost created by Chris Claremont and John Byrne in X-Men #129 (Jan. 1980)
  • Emma Frost born to a wealthy family in Boston, who had lived in the area since the 1600s
  • Discovered she had telepathic abilities while in high school, but refused to join the Xavier Institute, and when her manipulative father chose her as his heir, she opted to leave and make her own way
  • After attempting to seduce her professor, her family had her sent to the Essex Clinic, where she was drugged and manipulated into attacking the X-Men by Magneto
  • Became a stripper for the Hellfire Club, where she made Sebastian Shaw infatuated with her, ending up becoming the White Queen
  • Also started a multinational business, Frost International, and started her own school, the Massachusetts Academy, where she recruited young mutants for her own cause
  • Was attacked by a time traveler and was in a coma for a year - during that time, most of her students were killed - she was brought out of the coma by an energy surge that caused her consciousness to take over the body of Bobby Drake, aka Iceman #BecauseComics - when she learned what happened to her students, she had a breakdown and realized they were better off with Xavier, who was able to reestablish the connection between her body and mind
  • Wracked with guilt, she established her school as Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, and she & Banshee started a new team, Generation X
  • After surviving an attack on Genosha, she discovered she had a secondary mutation: the ability to turn her skin to unbreakable diamond - she joins the Xavier Institute, and takes the Stepford Cuckoos under her wing
  • Began a “psychic affair” with Scott Summers, who was growing apart from Jean - although Jean tore through her mind and forced her to relive all her guilty episodes from the past, she revealed to Wolverine that she truly loved Scott
  • Beast discovered her shattered body, and the investigation revealed that Esme of the Cuckoos convinced another student to shoot her with a diamond bullet - meanwhile, Phoenix-powered Jean reassembled Emma
  • After Jean’s death, Emma & Scott begin a real relationship, and are co-headmasters of the Xavier Institute
  • Discovered that the Stepford Cuckoos were actually her children, bred from eggs harvested by a doctor years before while she was under the control of the Essex Clinic
  • Served as a member of the Cabal alongside Norman Osborn, Loki, Dr. Doom, Namor, and the Hood, only to betray Shaw
  • In Avengers vs. X-Men, Emma is one of the Phoenix Five - was one of the last two, with Scott, before he was able to wrest her portion away from her, only to be killed by Xavier
  • Inhumans vs. X-Men - after a Terrigen cloud killed Scott, Emma created a psychic projection of him destroying the cloud, after which Black Bolt “killed” the projection - a negotiated peace between the parties ended after Emma incited the X-Men to take action to save their species - Medusa destroyed the cloud, but Emma sent programmed Sentinels after the rest of the Inhumans to seek revenge for Scott’s death
  • Currently one of the leaders of Krakoa - named by Xavier & Magneto as the head of trade relations

• Issues (7:20)

  • Ruby - Relationship with Scott
  • Love for mutants, willing to sacrifice all for them regardless of personal impact (19:23)
  • Role in Inhumans vs. X-Men, where she ultimately is revealed as the villain (27:17)
• Break (44:10)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Popcorn Psychology, and Chris Claremont
• Treatment (45:26)
  • In-universe - Focus on putting Emma in diamond form and having her work through things without her psychic abilities
  • Out of universe - Work on establishing a rapport with her and determining how to address the various issues and trauma she’s dealt with (47:46)
• Skit (feat. Kris of Marvelous Madames) (57:08)
  • DOC: Hello Emma, I’m Dr. Issues.
  • EMMA: mentally And we’re starting off with lies.
  • D: mentally Excuse me?
  • E: That’s not your name and we both know it.
  • D: Surely, if you’ve read my mind, you’re also aware of the multiple attempts on my life. Not to mention as a mutant you can appreciate the need for a pseudonym to maintain some level of privacy to protect loved ones. Ms. White Queen. Or is it Black Queen? Or Black King? Or Ice Princess?
  • E: Your point is taken. Still, just know that any effort to mislead or lie to me will be swiftly shut down. I do not suffer fools.
  • D: Nor would I expect you to. So, what did you change?
  • E: Come again?
  • D: I’m not gullible. Telepath or not, delving into someone’s mind changes the person in some fundamental way. That’s the point of therapy. You did that to me without regard for my thoughts on the matter...literally. So, I’m asking you, with all candor...what did you change?
  • E: I’m not an amateur at this, you know. What I told you is what I sought. pause Judging by your facial expression, you don’t believe me.
  • D: It’s fascinating. Sometimes, I mirror expressions, mime voices of those who are talking to me...it’s not intentional. I’ve been in some awkward situations because the person thought I was mocking them. Not this time, though. And you know I’m right. Why are you so skeptical of sessions like this?
  • E: Because those with my abilities already accomplish what you do hundred-fold, without the baggage of “small talk” getting in the way.
  • D: Like a sentience surgeon. I’m glad you’re on that path of logic, because society has determined consent to be a MAJOR hallmark of ethics in every interpersonal undertaking.
  • E: Is that what you think I do? Mental assault?
  • D: I’m trying to understand. No offense, but, it’s clear that you know how to work a room, regardless of mutant abilities. I’m trying to figure out if it’s your main coping strategy, or a backup plan.
  • E: It’s been both.
  • D: Can you give an example of each?
  • E: Sure. mentally I’ll give you a glimpse of one of my best days…unintelligble speech/sounds and one of my worst more unintelligible speech/sounds So you tell me, doctor. Would you have done anything differently?
  • D: overwhelmed WHOA. To be honest, I have no idea. I’ve been empathetic before, but that was...truly mimetic….no telemimetic...it’s like you downloaded parts of your memory into my brain and I choose how to live it...this is so bizarre. clearly in some sort of discomfort ugh...they both involve Scott. I shouldn’t be surprised.
  • E: Is there a problem, doctor? I can assure you, I did nothing to injure your brain.
  • D: No, not like that…snaps fingers THAT’S WHAT YOU CHANGED!
  • E: Oh dear. That was too quick. I expected some sort of opportunity to talk about him at length, without all of the pretense.
  • D: That’s my CO-HOST’s view, not mine. I’ll gladly discuss your feelings about him without referencing clear pain AAAAGH!
  • E: He’s not a dick, got it?!
  • D: Got it. The point is, he impacts every aspect of your life, and your love for him affected some...questionable choices. What can I do to help you get to the next stage of your relationship as adults?
  • E: Why would there be a next stage? I know he’s loved me. That’s all I need.
  • D: And he’s loved another. And you turned his ideals into the grandest effigy I could imagine...all out of spite.
  • E: SPITE?! No, having some mental foreplay when you least expect it may have some spite, but not when all of mutant-kind is at stake. It was us or them...and it surely wasn’t going to be us. Not when we’re the next evolution of the species. I’m not the damsel in distress. I’m the diamond in the rough! I can show you, too. special effect to change form
  • D: Fascinating...and now, the therapy can begin.
  • E: What does that mean?
  • D: Before now, you had the ultimate “wisdom of the crowds” through your abilities, just picking things up about each person on a whim. Now, when you’re like this, you’re shut off. I don’t think that’s a mistake. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism for you, but I see it as a chance for growth. Tell me, what do you feel right now?
  • E: Nothing.
  • D: Can you tell by my face what I think?
  • E: pause You have the same face as when I told you I only looked at one thought in your mind...I should register that as the same, but...it’s so difficult this way.
  • D: EXACTLY. Welcome to a new way to build your schema of the world. No mind games...just good old fashioned observation, trial and error. No judgement, no scorecard, just me and you, trying to figure out human interaction. I don’t expect you to stay this way, but do you realize just how magnificent your personal experiences can be if you learn how to warm up your cold side?
  • E: There is a rationale to your style. I pause think...I like it? transforms again That is quite the challenge...definitely worthy of pursuit. Fine, your point stands.
  • D: Wait, now I do think Scott is-
  • E: Say it and lose yours.
  • D: Understood.
  • E: Thank you, my dear. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must return to Krakoa. Heaven knows what Logan’s gotten himself up to in the past hour. I shall return.
  • D: When shall I -
  • E: mentally Oh I’ll make it clear. Good day, Doctor.
• Ending
  • Recommended reading: Generation X (so 90s), Death of X
  • Next episodes: Starfire, Children of super villains, Squirrel Girl
  • Plugs for social