Exposing Isolation: Recent Episodes
Rebecca E. Webber
Exposing Isolation is a very personal art project, made necessary by my many health conditions which keep me housebound. This has been my state since 2015 and while there is no end in sight, there has been some profound meaning and insight gained along the way.
I've graduated from therapy with Liz and am starting Animist Minister training today. What a great time it is!
This past week has been FULL of love and socializing. It was a real reset for me and I am happy to be exploring this next phase in my growth.
This episode is about having lunch with my mom and step dad and learning some very healing truths. They were also super supportive of my new diagnosis and everything I'm doing with my life right now.
These are my end of trip thoughts from February 15, 2023. Definitely my most significant insights and shift so far. This also happened to be the 10 year anniversary of Thomas and I meeting.
Thoughts on what it means to be me. Deep yet uplifting episode. I like where this is headed. Take care of yourself.
Please note any and all trigger warnings before listening to this. This was deep, heavy and sad. Please take care of yourself. Know that I am doing well.
Today's episode is about my relationship with disaster and my nervous system dysfunction that keeps me from being able to do the work I feel called to do. Thank you for listening.
Today I woke up in a mood after yet another rough night of intense dreams to then found out that not online is Russia actively attacking Ukraine but that Florida is passing a law to restrict students from accessing sex and gender information. Great day today all around. I also threw in a ted talk about climate change just to really get my blood boiling. Does this mean I'm finally going to start having a public opinion? Time will tell.
Today I talk about taking a break from service, wanting to get into product and noticing the limits I still have while exploring what is possible. I'm leaning towards writing articles, product recommendations and working on my cookbook.
Today's episode is about a breakthrough I'm having. I am noticing that the "break" I'm trying to take at the end of the day involving weed, sometimes alcohol, YouTube videos and snacks is really just setting me up for chaos the next day. I don't feel great, the house is a mess and I just start the cycle all over again to want another "break" again. Instead of denouncing this as just bad, I try to look at what it's giving me. The insight I found is that it is protecting me from making progress, or having the time and space to make progress on the big questions like who I am, what my purpose is and how I want to spend my life.
This morning I attended another day of Weaving Well Through Illness, a series put on by my teacher Quynn Red Mountain for a small group of us that are living with different, often chronic, health conditions. In today's circle we talked about grief and resentment as well as loss, disappointment and sadness associated with our experiences. I felt inspired to share with you a time where I experienced all of this as a way to help me continue to grieve and process through these challenging emotions.
If you'd like to learn more about Web of Life Animist Church and Quynn Red Mountain's ministry you can visit weboflifeanimists.com.
Today's episode is mostly an overview of where I am at, my current goals and mindset and well as a bit of backstory on how I got here. A longer episode than usual, I just really wanted to voice some of the changes I am experiencing in order to feel a bit more grounded in my decisions.
Today I had the chance to try hypnotherapy for the first time. My facilitator was my new friend Kyle Ross and he led me through a deep dive into my subconscious where I relearned old lessons from a new perspective. Our goal was to explore what is holding me back from being my full self, speaking my mind and being the leader I truly want to be. In all that I also got the strong truth that my inner authentic self REALLY REALLY wants to spend more time outside doing magic. According to my 4 year old self magic in the woods is the "best thing ever" and as a free and well resourced adult I should be doing it all the time. This fits very nicely into me being given the opportunity to lead the Greater Seattle Witches Group just yesterday. I think my goals to be a community leader and a magical person are coming together in ways I don't think I could have possibly imagined, but totally love. Happy full moon everyone, magic is in the air!
To connect with Kyle for Hypnotherapy and NLP sessions visit www.yourownuniverse.co.uk
10 years ago my body shut down for the first time. 4 years later it would shut down again leaving me disabled, but this time I really had no idea what was going on or what to do about it. I thought I could just keep pushing through. This is that story.
TW - I talk a bit about mental illness and disordered eating in this episode.
Hello Humans! This episode is kind of all over the place, but it helped me process some of what I am thinking on this new moon. I'm kind of in transition between getting really excited about new ventures and connections while also being nervous about what will happen with old connections, mainly my family. I just want to stay motivated and feel good but there is still plenty of shadow to tend.
Hello Humans! Rebecca here again. I am working on a "Starting Shadow Work" 4-week course and part of the curriculum will be finding a journaling option that works best for you. I haven't recorded an episode of Exposing Isolation for many months, but I always found them cathartic and would encourage others to give diary podcasting a try too if they are so inclined. I am going to try and do these more often again for my own mental health and to let my audience get to know me a little better. Thank you for listening.
Join My FB Group - Center for Sapient Living
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
Learn more
800-273-8255
This week I talk about being on an SSRI, continuing to work on finding a new home, developing the systems to make Sapient Living a success and the latest Parts Work session with Thomas.
Facilitated Awareness Session with Rebecca
This morning I met with a new therapist, this time one who is clearly trauma informed. It was a wholly new experience and I look forward to working more with her in the future. Also, Happy Inauguration Day!!
In today's episode I document what it feels like to be at the beginning of a depressive episode. It might be productive, but it isn't very pleasant.
S.2 E.1 Tending Trauma
In today's episode I give an update on priorities, projects and just where I am at right now. I want to focus on my health, but I also need to start making money or at least help Thomas make more so that we can have a home of our own one day.
In this episode I talk a bit about what I am coming to learn to be a manic phase. I also update a bit about my new doctor and what went wrong when I went on a supplement that I didn't need.
Episode Brought By - BeScentFree.com
Today I talk about meeting with my new naturopathic doctor for the first time and really loving it.
This is a pretty heavy, but also just informative episode about my struggle with suicidal ideation and how I have a new therapist who asks every session about it. In the past, it wasn't asked and I didn't tell people. Now I know that it is a common symptom of a few of my conditions.
Episode Brought By - BeScentFree.com
On today's episode I talk about meeting my new therapist and how I am feeling about all the changes afoot.
Until yesterday, Liz was my therapist. She went into labor really early, cutting off our sessions weeks before we expected. I talked to her every week for the past 16 months and she's really been my rock. We didn't get the chance to wrap anything up, nothing to keeping me going into the future. So, I'm left feeling grateful for her help, concerned about her wellbeing and in essence lost for what to do to feel better. Time, I guess.
For sake of science, I thought it was important to note how I am feeling some hours after waking up today. Still mentally better than usual, but physically I'm really starting to go through it. Delayed reaction is even weirder than immediately getting triggered.
Sponsored by Tending Trauma and BeScentFree.com
Today I am pleased with my stable mood. I had a filling replaced yesterday and while the results seem okay, the woman who installed the new one was very scented. On top of that they filling somehow didn't address my entire issue with the tooth. My optimism today is that even though I was exposed and stressed, I don't feel as bad today as I would have going through similar experiences in the past. Mostly just sore and weak, but mentally stable. Yay progress!
Sponsored by Tending Trauma and BeScentFree.com
Today I feel really good. Like REALLY good and there are a bunch of reasons why. In this episode I share some of my thoughts and generally just give an upbeat update which is super rare for me. Cheers!
Sponsored by Tending Trauma and BeScentFree.com
This week I went to look at a house for sale and mostly just ended up learning what I don't want, but enjoyed the drive with Thomas. I don't think I did a very good job explaining what I am trying next, but that's just as well because I can't say I really know. Things aren't necessarily looking up but I am choosing to believe something will work.
I was up a lot in the night essentially learning more about myself and not really liking what I saw. Today I begin to get to the bottom of why I focus so much on the bad and can't seem to find the good that often. I know I can change my mindset once I identify what is happening that doesn't serve me.
Sponsor - Brought to You By the Tending Trauma Podcast
In this episode I talk more about my current mental state and how I keep being triggered into "dissociative shutdowns", which in the episode I simply refer to as going unconscious for short amounts of time. This is possibly linked to a "freeze" style fear response, but could be something else. We are trying to keep me safe and protected!
More about "dissociative shutdowns" from psychotherapynetworker.org.
Brought to You By - BeScentFree.com and Thomas F. Webber Coaching
Today I am in a new mindset, a new perspective. I want to know what would happen if I put more energy into being my authentic self and less energy into finding my place in the existing systems available to me. It isn't always fun and rarely easy to be me and I think that avoiding doing so has been quite appealing up until now. I'm glad to have support in this.
Brought to You By - BeScentFree.com and Thomas F. Webber Coaching
Today I am shutting down because I am safe. This is a common phenomenon for me and can be a good sign if the safety lasts, but I still down know why it happens exactly or I should say, I don't totally understand the science. I'll keep you posted.
Brought to You By - BeScentFree.com and Thomas F. Webber Coaching
On today's episode I discuss where the nation is at after Joe Biden and Kamala Harris' win on Saturday as well as update y'all on the current state of my mental health. Everything feels raw, but promising and that is a lot better than not.
Brought to You By - BeScentFree.com and Thomas F. Webber Coaching
On today's episode I discuss the start of my commitment to finding a sensible treatment plan for CPTSD. My husband Thomas is working alongside me on this one. He is working from a clinical perspective and I am working from a socio-cultural perspective. We both have CPTSD and struggle to be people because of it.
Live Research - Parts One & Two
I apologize for the poor audio quality in this episode but I think the message is lovely all the same! I am sitting in the last light of the full moon, early in the morning on this Halloween, releasing that which no longer serves me. Blessings to you!
So currently when I stop and think about my life I start to panic. Sometimes I would describe it as terror. Anyone else experiencing this? Today I go over my story a bit and confess where I'm at. RebeccaEWebber@gmail.com
I felt the need to record a follow up from last week's episode. Things are developing and I feel so much love, it's worth documenting!
Today was already such a doozy I couldn't not make an episode. Mostly I'm talking housing struggles and being real with my family about my pain. Thank you to the Youper App for getting me through my fear.
Yesterday after a bit of research I learned that I have nearly all the symptoms of PMDD! Not that it's good to have PMDD, I'm excited because it's an answer and something I can work to treat. It's a good day.
Here I go again being overly insightful while still not knowing what to do. The joys of mental and physical illness that has no answers and an insufficient support system. I feel like a brilliant cave hag with no power.
Hello Humans! This morning Thomas was generous with his time and facilitated a very long (100 min) parts work session for me so that I might reconnect with my exiled younger self, namely the 4 year old. It was one of the more transformative therapeutic experiences I've had thus far!
To watch the full session - Parts Work by Thomas F. Webber | Inner Child Reintegration
To connect with Thomas for coaching - ThomasFWebber.com
To leave a donation - paypal.me/sapientliving
In part one I discussed my story up until going to college. In this episode I talk about the beginning of college until now. I am documenting these hard truths to simply not have to hold onto them alone anymore. Also to acknowledge myself where no one else has seen my truth. Please consider supporting my work! Become a Patron Make a Donation
In this episode I talk through a bit of my parent's past up until going to college. In part two I will talk about college until now. The intention behind these recordings is to get these events off my chest. I feel the need to put them in the light if for no other reason than for me to stop hiding them as I silently blame myself. Please consider supporting my work! Become a Patron Make a Donation
Today I felt like bringing Thomas on for a first attempt at telling people how we got where we are now. I hope you enjoy the chaotic thought processes! In essence, we've both been chronically ill most of our lives and have to take our healing into our own hands.
Questions: SapientLiving@gmail.com
Donations: paypal.me/sapientliving
Schedule: calendly.com/sapientliving
Community: patreon.com/SapientLiving
These last couple of weeks have been quite eventful. We are prepping to move soon and I have launched some energy work services through Sapient Living! I now offer 15 minute distance energy sendings as well as 30, 60 and 90 minute energy sessions. For the time being I offer everything by donation, that just feels right while I still feel like a novice. It's an honor to get to work on people at all.
Scheduling: calendly.com/sapientliving
Donations: paypal.me/sapientliving
Contact: SapientLiving@gmail.com
Today I had a fabulous session with my therapist Liz where we discussed the philosophical shift I am currently experiencing. I am so relieved that I have been so wrong about how things worked and how I would heal. I feel blessed, but also extremely challenged.
To Schedule with Me - https://calendly.com/sapientliving
Still in quarantine with plenty of time to figure out next steps. How about taking what I've learned about mental health and helping Thomas start his own emotional alignment practice? Sure.
For all the new people here, hello! My name is Rebecca and I have been living in isolation for over 5 years due to mental and environmental illnesses keeping me housebound. Now that so many of you are in quarantine because of the coronavirus, I thought I would get back online and see if I can help in some way. I look forward to hearing from you. #ExposingIsolation
Exposing Isolation is brought to you by BeScentFree.com, a Sapient Living production.
TW: Nightmare
This week I have become a Certified Reiki Master and Teacher as well as a Ordained Minister. I am working towards a goal that I have had a hard time acknowledging before now... I want to be a ceremonial priestess. I want to facilitate important events such as births and baptisms, weddings and other unions and well as loss and funerals. I feel more motivated than ever to get healthy so that I can work with people in person.
I want to get a job. I haven't worked for anyone other than myself since before I became disabled over 5 years ago, but I want to try. I qualify for jobs that I am not sure I am ready to do yet, but they excite me. I'm going to try to talk to prospective employers about accommodating me and see how that goes. Wish me luck!
I am all over the place today. I know I need a break from how I've been thinking and what I've been doing, but I don't know what that means exactly. I am exploring past interests, but also trying to make room for the unexpected.
Exposing Isolation is funded by BeScentFree.com
On today's episode I talk about feeling lost. I didn't think that I would cry, but I did. I don't know how to create a functional life being chronically ill, needing my husband to make all the money and trying to be happy all at once. I really want to be able to afford a home with him, for us to be financially safe. I know I'm not alone in this and I just wanted to put a story to the sea of struggle. #YangGang
Exposing Isolation is brought to you by BeScentFree.com
This morning kind of shook me up because my grandma came home from a 10 day vacation and wasted no time telling me I'm too skinny and must not be eating. It was a lot for me to hear, because I think I am doing really well, even having gained a bit of weight back over the last few weeks after it dipped. I can handle the concern, what I can't handle is being told that I am not eating full meals when I am and that she would be nagging me to eat more calories when I already eat 2,200 a day most days. I had therapy right after recording this and I am doing better. Mostly I am just proud that I stood up for myself and let the conversation when I didn't want to have it any more.
Today Thomas and I went to look at a property for sale, this is the first place we've looked at so far to buy. It was fun to poke around and think about living there but ultimately we needed to admit that it would be a very uncomfortable, in some ways almost impossible life for us to keep up. Have a listen to all my thoughts around housing.
I think it is inevitable that spending several uninterrupted days alone with my husband will result in having conversations that are uncomfortable, but quite needed. In this episode I talk about the argument we had last night and where we are at now. More to come I'm sure.
Thank you Milo and Kwabi for supporting this production!
In today's episode I go over some of the latest in my journey, how my health is doing and my plans for the coming weeks. #YangGang
Hello Humans. Thanks for coming by to check in. Self care is really important to me and I recommend finding ways it can be important to you.
I didn't think I was going to do Exposing Isolation anymore because I am doing The Sapient Living Podcast now, but last night I changed my mind. This show is different, it's off-the-cuff, cathartic and good for my overall mental health. Even if no one listens, it's just nice for me to have a place to talk about what's going on in my life. If you are listening, thank you. I hope it helps in any small way.
In today's episode I talk about thinking I am not sick enough to be an advocate or activist in the chronic illness community. That is how I was feeling yesterday and coincidentally today I feel absolutely horrible. I'm laughing for doubting myself. We are all on our own paths, we don't need to compare ourselves to each other, we need to support each other as best we can. Take care of yourselves today!
Please consider joining my Patreon community for just $5 a month.
Chronic & Invisible Illness Support (Facebook Group)
Happy New Year! In today's episode I talk about what my goals are for 2020. I am working to build up a safe, supportive and inclusive community online for my fellow chronically ill people and their allies. I am working to earn an income for the first time in 6 years. I will be putting all the energy I can into find a new home for Thomas and I this year. Let's do this!
On today's episode (the last episode of the year) I take some time to reflect on 2019. This year has been full of ups and downs, there have been many opportunities for personal development and I think I am better for it. I also think that my marriage is stronger for it and I am really proud of both of us for being able to get through all we did with out ship pointed in the right direction. I appreciate all that I have and even the difficult perspectives that my chronic health limitations have granted me. Thank you for being a part of my 2019!
Merry Christmas! In today's episode I talk about my mental health and how much better off I am today than I was last year. A combination on setting boundaries, committing to self care, going to therapy and maintaining my priorities has helped me have the calm day I am having right now! Thank you for listening to my ever-developing story.
In this episode I share what family Christmas was like a few days ago. What it's like to still have family that wear fragrances around me and also how my family is supportive of my current work. I want to spend my time sharing my stories, documenting my life and increasing representation of chronic illness. Ultimately I hope to monetize my content creation so that Thomas and I can one day buy a safe and healthy home to live and recover in.
The last few days have been a challenge, but also an important time of lessons and reflection. Thomas and I have been on this path, trying to help him make more money for years now and we are both exhausted. The hard truth of it is, it's nearly impossible (and has been impossible for us) to figure out how to live on just his income. We were homeless before my grandparents let us move in so we wouldn't have to worry about rent. If we are going to find a way through this and find any grace or dignity for our future, I have to make money too.
Today I am joined by Thomas, well he's in the room at least. His back is out. So I thought I would take 10 minutes to talk about the work that I want to do next, isn't going to be today. Thank you for listening. ScentNeutrality.com
I love all the inspiration I have been receiving from the Adult Nerdfighter community on Facebook. I asked them to share with me any chronically ill content creators they follow and the response was awesome! I am diving deeper into my own content creation journey and I appreciate your support. I plan to keep going with my podcast and start my vlog back up. Check out my YouTube Channel!
This is a "food for thought" kind of episode but I also mainly talk about my food system, what I eat and don't eat as well as what recipes I'm trying to put together next. I'm in an uncomfortable situation at the moment. I want to figure out a way to make money so all the pressure isn't just on Thomas to pay for everything, but my energy and moods are so inconsistent that I've just been using what energy I have to manage our home. Anyway, I go back and forth constantly about making a cookbook. Right now I feel like I could/should but I'm nervous. I really don't have the spoons to put work out right now.
I went back and listened to the beginning and noticed I said 2016. Wow. I thought about editing it out, but that wouldn't be authentic. Let it go down in history that the experiment was a success. I got high. I rambled. I published it. Peace.
So... I'm bored. I want to be more creative. This is another update about my life. I recorded this with the intention that I will take a hit of cannabis after and then immediately record another episode. I'll be curious to know if anything is different or if anyone can even tell. ScentNeutrality.com
Today my mind is all over the place. I want a lot and I don't know how to navigate my limitations to achieve my goals. Mainly I want a meaningful life and I intend to take my chronic environmental illness and do some good with my story.
ScentNeutrality.com
Last night I had Thomas facilitate a Parts Work session on me and it went extremely well! Internal Family Systems Therapy | Full Session
If you are interested in learning more about IFS/Parts Work check out the main website: https://www.selfleadership.org/
I'm going to give this podcast another chance. A new friend of mine has encouraged me to get creating and to not over think it so right after we ended our call I recorded this episode. I hope to work through the parts in me that are trying to hold me back so that I can make some progress on my best and highest vibrational path. Thank you for listening!
Today what started as a joke turned into a extremely straight forward explanation of what I do. My company, Sapient Living, is a resource for people who feel shitty, who want to feel less shitty, run by people who know what it's like to feel shitty. You know from listening to this show that I have been housebound due to chronic illness for over four years. My husband and co-founder of Sapient Living, Thomas, grew up with Junior Rheumatoid Arthritis which we only got under control a few years ago with the Sapient Diet. Whether you are struggling with your physical or mental health, lifestyle, job, motivation or anything else, there is a good chance we can help. We certainly want to try.
SapientLiving.com
Patreon.com/SapientLiving
Today I have energy. Today I feel optimistic. If I am being brave, which I suppose I am, I might even venture to say that today I am feeling at peace. I don't remember a time where I felt this good just being myself or had such a clarity about how to navigate the world in a way that I enjoy no matter what anyone else could possibly think of me. It's refreshing to say the least.
Possibly my most raw and vulnerable episode yet, me in the middle of a mental illness meltdown. How does anyone live like this? Today I am really struggling and even though I thought I was getting better, I'm seeing that really, I haven't. I've had some good days to be sure, but the last two have been nearly as bad as they come and so I am just... lost.
Yesterday got pretty scary when my body tried to shut down again. This has happened before when I felt totally safe for a moment, like my body doesn't know how to stay animated if not for the stress hormones making it go. Luckily Thomas was there for me which allowed me to feel safe in the first place and showed me just how loved and taken care of I really am. Today I am doubling down on taking care of myself and I am happy to have this "second chance" to show myself the love I wish I had the first time something like this happened.
It has been over three months since I published an episode of Exposing Isolation, but it feels right to start again. I have a few new projects going that I think will benefit from these recordings as well as a new mindset that will be fun to document. Thank you for joining me (again) on this journey! To learn more about my latest work please visit SapientLiving.com.
I need to focus on the now in order to prepare for what is next. Not feeling physically fit today and wondering how long it will take to achieve a sense of peace and harmony within my own body. Must focus on healing, mostly in terms of eating and keeping priorities in check. Also, note to self - please stop going on Facebook, there is nothing for you there.
Yesterday I got a letter in the mail asking if I would please consider becoming a chaplin to the United States Air Force. While that isn't a path I would have ever considered for myself, I would be very curious to see if they take Shamans. Otherwise, I am now thinking about what being a spiritual leader would be like and how much I would enjoy starting the Center for Sapient Living.
Things are back to normal this week in terms of everyone in my family being home in their own houses, but we all went through so much this week that nothing is really the same. We are definitely all closer than ever before and as I continue to focus on my health, I look forward to seeing the family we will continue to become.
Though the power of a horrific dream and being forced out of bed this morning with the beginning of a UTI (which I hope I have now cured) I learned some very important lessons. Mostly that if I don't take myself seriously, take control of my own well-being and maintain exceptionally high standards for what I accept as right and good, I'm going to end up living in a future that I did not help create. If I do not do this I will end up leading my people though the dark instead of leading them (you?) into the light. So, I now commit myself to the most rebellious act one can commit in today's society, I will unapologetically love myself first.
Welcome to June everyone!! It has been quite a week and I am looking forward to having a nice, calm, healthful weekend at home with my family.
If you would like to sign up for my monthly update, emailed out on the 1st of everyone month, you may do so → HERE
I did some more healing magic on the world this morning. Thomas felt it, I'm curious if anyone else did? I am feeling much better today, day 6 of withdrawal from marijuana use disorder. I'm getting to know myself like I never have before. I am certainly a much different person than I was last time I was sober.
Today I want to love myself in ways I have been waiting for others to love me. Thomas suggested a "creative date", I also want to read and do healings on myself. It would be great to know how you all take time to care for yourselves. Tweet me @RebeccaEWebber!
I have a eating disorder. It's really bad. I've asked for help for over a decade and finally got some unexpectedly yesterday. Thank you Christina.
Christina's Instagram: @phoenixrisingstories
Vote for Christina (People's Choice Awards, Mrs. BC): Christina W. - Port Alberni
I think that we have gone so long feeling like it is not okay to love ourselves that we have forgotten how to do it. The collective narrative has us tearing ourselves apart in pursuit of accomplishments that will never satisfy us all to the detriment of our home planet. If we can be very very brave, there is still hope for creative a life worth living for everyone.
Have you ever avoided a truth because you just weren't ready to be honest with yourself? I have been doing that for a very long time now. In this episode I share where I am at in accepting the shamanic path.
I have been smoking weed nearly every day for the past five years and recently it has become an all day/every day event. I'm calling it quits for many reasons and also simply because I just don't think it's working/helping enough anymore. This makes me nervous, weed has been my crutch, but I'm also happy to be trying to create a life for myself that I truly love.
Last night I found myself on the floor in my bathroom praying, saying "Thank you God for this pain, I'm sure you are teaching me something extremely important" and I was completely right.
I certainly have a lot of things I could be doing, but which will I do? Am I to stay low, pray and let others take care of me or should I find a way, however seemingly impossible, to make a living so as to provide for myself and buy a house with my own effort? Many questions on today's episode.
If you've never heard of the Modern Masculinities Movement, this episode gives you your first taste.
Today I talk about a site I built, ScentNeutrality.org, which serves to help my community go fragrance free. I also discuss why it is not totally appealing to move out of my grandparent's house.
I have struggled with disordered eating since I was 14 years old. I am now 28 and I still don't know how to fix it, but damn am I trying!
I simply had to record this extra content today because I just healed some of my parts! In trauma work this means that I am a little bit more free. This is a very long, particularly unique episode.
Welcome to week 4 of Exposing Isolation. I am so proud of where I've gotten to so far! This episode is about the day I shared with Thomas yesterday and how optimistic I am about the future.
I honestly don't know what is next for me and Thomas. Our latest round of plans has come to an "unfortunately this isn't working and isn't likely to work any time soon" end and will join her dozens of sisters on the pile of "close but no" ideas. Thank you all for being here to discover with us.
Easily the most challenging episode I have ever made. The muse of storytelling woke me at 3:00 AM and would not get off me until I got out of bed just after 4:00 AM to create this piece. This feels like true therapy through art. Now that I've exposed more of my past, I am optimistic that positive change is coming.
There must be a very important lesson in here somewhere, right? Today I'm already quite lonely and it is barely past 7:00 AM, nothing very new or groundbreaking about that I'm afraid.
Have I ever told you that I have all my senses in my dreams or that I am usually a captain of some army or league? It's never a dull night in my brain, listen for last night's adventure and a dream from a few years ago that was one of my all time favorites. * I have an upbeat attitude about the dreams today, but it can be very overwhelming to experience these narratives every night and sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep.
Today has already been a good and productive day and it is only 10:00 AM. I feel like today I can relax into what is and not worry so much about what was or will be. I'm optimistic and enjoying the process.
I have to let a lot go. First, I need to know what those things are which means thinking about some very unpleasant things. There is hope and I am feeling more up to the work than yesterday.
Where will I put my energy, the little that I have, in order to create the best life that I can? Choosing how I want to feel seems to be a good first step in figuring this out.
Today I am consideration of my physical space and creating peace in my mind. As within, also without or some such wise concept.
Google Memory Reconsolidation for more information.
What do I love? What do I want? How am I teaching Thomas to want things? Find out today.
Today I visited my doctor and made some next step decisions with her and Grandma Mary to try and help me get better. I really appreciate all the council I'm being gifted with these days.
Happy Birthday Thomas! We might not have gotten along well all day, but we are certainly madly in love and trying our best. I hope you enjoyed the food. <3
I am optimistic that today will be a great day even though it is starting out with less than ideal physical symptoms. Today we will be moving the garden shed to the other side of the yard followed by a pizza party for Thomas's birthday. I was eating ginger ALL DAY!
It must be Spring! Today I am thinking about the life I want to pass on to those I get to help raise.
Have you ever been listening to Exposing Isolation and wondered why I'm isolated? I'm not sure that I meant to, but in today's episode I talk about chemical fragrances and how my body reacts so negatively to them that I have to avoid them as much as I possibly can.
This episode is the first in what I hope will be a cathartic production of my inner world turned audio experience.