Do you blow up and get angry in situations that are causing pain to yourself and others? In this episode, I want to explain the main root of anger and how we can start to deal with it at an emotional and energetic level. If you want to be a calm, confident entrepreneur then this episode will be for you. The steps I took to heal my anger through emotional & energetic intelligence (EEQ) that literally changed my life. My blood used to boil and a man emerged I didn’t even know. I would be so enraged that I would blow up on people, completely unaware of the cause but very aware of the effect it had on my relationships, my happiness, and my business. In addition to feeling angry, I felt guilty for the pain I knew I caused to others.
In fact, I missed quite a few business opportunities because of this. Let’s be honest, no one likes to lose their shit. When you don’t understand why, it’s even more painful… The problem was, I didn’t understand what was happening within me. It can be incredibly painful for anyone holding onto anger. But the reality is, anger is energy, and just like a balloon, you can pop it so that you don’t react in the same way.
People think that they have to be angry forever. If anyone ever says “it’s just the way I am”, then know this is denial.
Attacks that arise from rage usually leads to beating yourself up emotionally after an incident. You may turn to alcohol or drugs because it soothes and calms you down – once you’ve relaxed, you don’t know how to deal with the situation and you feel like you’re trapped in a very dark place. That was my experience. It’s a dangerous cycle. The Healing Process 1. One of the first steps in healing is to hold your hand up and admit it, own it. That is actually getting your power back over it but this can be a challenge due to shame.
You should never put someone else through the pain because you cannot manage your emotions.
Become emotionally intelligent by admitting to yourself how you are negatively impacting yourself and other people – decide you want to react to people calmly and handle yourself with dignity.
First of all, we need to recognize the difference between managing anger and ‘ tools vs energetically shifting the event that caused it. Meditation, for example, is great to calm you down, but if we don’t get to the root, you will always need to calm yourself down. That being said, tools are very important… Wanting to be aware of new ways to manage your anger is great, but there is no excuse in attempting a new approach and then slipping back into repeated patterns of negative behavior. 2. Be Aware Of Your Triggers
When you’re having a good day and suddenly something sets you off, that is when you’re being ‘triggered.’ That event set off the rage inside you – causing your physiology to change. You were in a state of calm, feeling relaxed, but your blood starts to boil and parts of your body clench. At this moment your ego is trying to protect and defend itself.
Recognize what has triggered you and as fast as you can apologize. Your ego likes to punish people for long periods of time, but you can start to resolve things quickly – once you’re aware you’ve behaved angrily apologize to put right the situation as quickly as possible. Your ego won’t want you to do that but the next time it happens, now that you’re aware of it you can immediately take ownership.
If I say something I shouldn’t have, I quickly catch myself before the other person has time to react. I’ll acknowledge how my ego was compelling me to try to validate myself or justify something.
It’s not weak for someone to do that. If someone was to snap at me and catch themselves I’d have so much respect for them!
The big epiphany for most people is when they realize the trigger is from an event in their past. Once you get clarity on what the trigger is, you can start to change, but if you don’t believe you can change you will always co...