Do you avoid talking to people that you care about your achievements, goals, dreams, and successful moments? In this episode, I'll share why and exactly what to do about it.

It’s natural to want to talk to people. You feel excited when something is happening in your business and you have a new opportunity coming up – but have you stopped telling the people close to you about your achievements because every time you do, you receive a hostile or negative reaction?

When you talk about new projects coming up in your business with positive intentions, and you’re communicating because you’re excited or you want to inspire, it can be deflating when the response you receive isn’t what you expect.

You can tell you’ve hit a nerve, and the conversation becomes awkward so you stop having those conversations with people, and that’s a shame. Obsessively Making Comparisons So many people spend their time in comparison obsession, feeling less significant than other people, watching what they are doing and wanting their success – it’s easy to create an illusion of how other people’s lives are behind the scenes.

We’ve all been guilty of overlooking the hard work that went into someone’s achievements and it’s important to have empathy and think about how you have felt or reacted in the past. When you have empathy you put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

I had a six-figure book deal with HarperCollins for a book called the Lunch Box Diet. I took the simple concept of eating from a lunchbox and wrote a best-selling book. Many of the personal trainers working with me were triggered when my book deal happened because they ate from lunchboxes too – but they hadn’t taken the action that I did and they didn’t see how hard I’d work to achieve that deal.

When you talk about things people become aware of their own lack of action. When you share what you’re achieving and how you’re gaining momentum, it shuts other people down because you’re doing the things they are not. The next time you express your achievements and you get a snarky remark remember it’s because they’re triggered about something in their unconscious. Avoid The Trigger Loop What you don’t want to create is a trigger loop – you verbalize something because you’re excited, it triggers someone’s negative response and that triggers you. You want to create space for communication to happen so you can continue to openly speak about what you want to.

They won’t even know why they made the remark, because they’re living unconsciously.

Most people don’t understand that a trigger is the feeling you get to trigger an action or a reaction.

Most of the time that happens unconsciously. People say things and they’re not aware of what or why they’ve said them – it ends up becoming a fight and the energy between you is off so you need some space from them. Then you have a conversation about apologizing – all that stems from that initial trigger; it’s not about you doing anything wrong.

If you go into a conversation with the intention of wanting to get to the other person, the responsibility is on you and you need to take a look at yourself. If you have a conversation with good intentions, you’re sharing your success, and suddenly you feel a shift in energy, it’s because you’ve triggered a feeling within someone else – their feelings are transmitted by a shift in energy and that energy shift comes out verbally.

It’s important to let people know how you feel about their response. When you feel triggered be calm and share with how it makes you feel. If you don’t have that discussion you can bail and run. Success Isn’t Easy There’s a misconception of what it takes and the effort that’s led up to the moment that you share your success. A sale or an opportunity doesn’t just arrive. There’s so much build-up behind the scenes of getting to the deal, but if you haven’t shared all of that build-up people create an illusion that it’s easy for you when it wasn’t.