IDK family, on today’s episode I brought my sister Josephine on to discuss why dating does not have to be the Ghetto but how we have made it Ghetto.

Like many people, Josephine is looking at these dating streets with despair. On the dating scene there is an undercurrent of dishonesty; mistrust; ambiguity; lack of relational definition (situationship galore); relational anxiety and a highly accelerated involvement of sex before friendship.

I would like to encourage those who are interested in dating, that the process of getting to know people, taking the time to learn people and form meaningful friendships is very beautiful. If we allow love, honour and respect to drive the dating process, things would look very different.

Dating becomes ghetto when we enter the dating streets unprepared:

We must first love ourselves, this dating scene is not a means to find love but extend the love we have within us to another.

Heal! Broken people break people and this can be unintentionally.

Know who you are and what you stand for, establish boundaries and ensure that they are respected before progressing into a romantic relationship.

We cannot control who we attract but we can control who we entertain and engage with.

You have to be prepared for rejection because not everyone is going to like us. Do not compromise your values and your virtues in the pursuit of being liked.

Dating is a process, not a destination, so hard conversations have to be had about the status of the relational dynamic and the direction it is taking.

Getting to know someone takes intentional time and the dating scene has become ghetto because we are rushing. We must not allow our trust levels to supersede our intimacy levels- building trust takes time.

To be fully loved, you have to be fully known- vulnerability is strength.

Online dating is a new way to meet, converse and interact with people outside of your social circle so if you are looking to branch out- the apps are popping off. Like with everything on this dating scene it comes with its complexities. The swipe left and swipe right culture can sometimes feed into our desire for perfectionism in a partner. Be honest on your profile about who you are and what you want. Do not reduce people to profiles.

For my Christian brothers and sisters, do not over spiritualise dating. God is in us and His principles on Love are our guideline. Wise counsel is very important but we do not need 27 confirmations from every prophet we know. The reality is, we cannot eliminate the risk of Love.

You can support the podcast by sharing the podcast with your friends. Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat: https://linktr.ee/idkcollectivepodcast

To connect and continue the discussion: @idkcollectivepodcast