Delusional Optimism with Dr. B

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WARNING: episode contains general references to childhood trauma and abuse. | Two worlds are finally colliding as Dr. B makes an appearances on Seth’s other podcast, Fathoms | An Enneagram Podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn how our stories affect our lives and how we can combat the ways in which we sabotage what it is we truly want.

8:30 - Dr. B explains her work.

12:00 - How are our stories built in early childhood?

13:30 - Quick overview of the 10 ACEs [adverse childhood experiences]

17:20 - What happens in adulthood when people experience ACEs in childhood?

22:20 - The “still face experiment” with infants

27:30 - How does personality develop?

35:30 - How do we parent/uncle kids with this knowledge? “Shared conversations in appropriate ways.”

43:00 - How to build a coherent narrative

49:15 - Implicit vs. explicit memory “Ghosts in the nursery”

59:40 - Resilience - the story of triumph over trauma

Dr. B’s Website - Leave a Lifeprint Academy - https://www.drbconnections.com/

Check out Dr. B’s podcast with Creek “Delusional Optimism” wherever you listen to podcast

A Kid’s Company About - https://akidsco.com/

—

Fathoms | An Enneagram Podcast: “Discovering our inner depths, one fathom at a time.”

—

Co-hosts: Seth Abram, Seth Creekmore, Drew Moser

Production/Editing: Seth Creekmore

Follow us on Instagram: @fathoms.enneagram
Follow Abram: @integratedenneagram
Follow Creek: @creekmoremusic
Follow Drew: @typetrailenneagram

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In this episode, we speak with Sean Perry, Founder, President, and Executive Director at We R H.O.P.E. Inc. Sean has two decades of coaching experience and working with youth. He ran two residential treatment centers for mental health and observed mental health care firsthand. Today, he discusses changing the culture surrounding mental illness, how society views it and its access to support.

“Stop trying to take on this child’s emotions because you feel like a failure because your class isn’t working the way you want it to work. This child’s behavior, it’s not about you; you didn’t create that child. You didn’t raise that child. This isn’t about you. This is about that child’s lived experiences. The more that you continue to own that child’s emotions, the more you’re going to want to continue to quit your job.” – Sean Perry [18:07]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[02:20] Sean’s Life

[06:54] Understanding Anxiety

[10:03] How humor can help to ease the darkness

[15:06] Education system works

[24:27] Addressing behavioral issues

[32:44] School become human condition

[39:49] The difference of power and strength

[42:01] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

Connect with Sean Perry:

Call Sean: 802-440-1428

Visit We R H.O.P.E. Inc. website: werhope.org

Email Sean: info@werhop.org and sean@werhop.org

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In the second episode of this two-part series of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B continues her discussion about generations. She discusses how communication, cooperation and compassion play into the 80 year cycle of generational change and transformation.

“The intensity of what’s going on right now with the pandemic, COVID-19, and with political discourse and change and everything that’s happening right now, are not just the singular consequence of what’s happening right now. It’s the cumulative difference between generations cycling through and starting over.” -Dr. B [27:30]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[00:32] Why communication is important between generations

[09:29] Collaboration between generations

[11:54] How generations get it done

[14:13] Millennials’ reputation

[21:05] Millennials and compassion

[23:40] Generational differences with diversity, equity and inclusion

[28:46] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

Watch 'Baby Boomer vs. Millennial': Analog vs. Digital on The Ellen Show: youtube.com/watch?v=TH5HXvF24lA

Read “Millennials: The Me Me Me Generation” by Joel Stein: content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,2143001,00.html

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In the first episode of this two-part series of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about generations. She explains what is a generation and the four archetypes in the generational system. She also provides a deeper look into each generation from Baby Boomers to Gen Z.

“Generations shift about every 20 years. What people often don’t know is that there’s a rinse and repeat cycle. And every 80 years, we start over with the same pattern, but we’re 80 years ahead in time with innovation, technology, new information, different life experiences and events that happen.” -Dr. B [01:39]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[01:02] What is a generation and generation cycle

[04:20] Four archetypes in generational system

[07:01] A deeper look at each generation

[21:31] How these generations communicate

[26:16] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In the second episode of this two-part series of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B continues her webinar on strategies for people to take care of themselves and the ones they love during this pandemic. Some of the things she will discuss in these episodes include suicide prevention, building real support systems and how to disrupt anxiety and depression.

“Please know that we cannot predict suicide. It’s not your fault.” -Dr. B [02:18]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[01:14] Suicide:

[05:45] Staggering numbers about suicide

[08:22] Social media in the context of depression

[13:31] ACEs and the COVID-19 pandemic

[17:07] Closing the loops

[19:38] Q&A

[39:11] Closing remarks

[41:42] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In the first episode of a two-part series of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B addresses some strategies for people to take care of themselves and the ones they love during this pandemic. Some of the things she will discuss in these episodes include suicide prevention, building real support systems and how to disrupt anxiety and depression.

“I want you to remember this: anxiety and depression are the best of best of friends. They usually hang out together. ” -Dr. B [28:08]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[02:17] Free monthly webinars

[05:58] The webinar agenda

[07:24] Not going back to the old way

[08:54] The science of the pandemic

[14:59] Powerful reasons for vaccines, masks, etc

[16:37] Mental health and anxiety

[22:19] Things to do to reduce the feelings of anxiety

[28:06] Depression and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

[32:46] What helps depression and other coping strategies

[38:46] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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Delusional Optimism is moving to a bi-weekly release for the next few months as Dr. B and Seth attempt to slow down the current rate of their lives.

Continue to tune in every other Thursday to the same great content and we will be back to weekly as soon as it makes sense.

Thanks for listening!

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Jane Stevens, founder of PACEs Connection. Jane shares what inspired her to understand ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) and PACEs (positive and adverse childhood experiences) and what motivates her to move this initiative forward. She also talks about the upcoming changes with the organization.

“Anybody who has the things that happened to them as a child, it doesn’t matter what your politics are. If there’s no resilience built in, there’s going to be damage, and that damage manifests itself in a lot of different ways.” -Jane Stevens [10:12]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[00:43] The place Jane would teleport to right now

[02:33] What inspired her to understand ACEs and PACEs

[06:19] Why she wants to move faster to push this initiative forward

[10:30] One thing that worries her

[13:56] Resources to become trauma informed

[17:05] Why there’s a generational difference with discussing ACEs

[20:19] The most pressing thing she’s working to get ACEs out there

[28:00] What she’s most proud of and what she’s excited about

[33:05] How to connect with PACEs Connection

[34:54] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

Visit PACEs Connection: pacesconnection.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore talk about soft parenting. They discuss the difference between parenting for understanding versus parenting for obedience and how to find a balance between the two. They also share strategies to soft parenting and things to be aware of with the perspective and influences that may affect how you parent.

“Really, again it comes down to communication and being consistent with that.” -Seth Creekmore [20:38]

“The idea that we have to control behavior is a false idea. What we need to do is we need to understand behavior in order to guide behavior in order to get the results that we want. And the results that we want are to raise happy, healthy, self-sufficient or group-sufficient, contributing, happy children into adults.” -Dr. B [25:43]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[00:57] How soft parenting came up for Dr. B

[02:08] The concept of soft parenting

[05:32] Receptive and expressive language

[09:46] Calming the fears of soft parenting

[11:43] Strategies to parent with this style

[17:05] An example of using soft parenting

[20:52] The parenting spectrum and things to be aware of

[28:08] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Mike Veny, Certified Corporate Wellness Specialist and leading mental health speaker, about emotional wellness. Mike shares the experiences that inspired the path to his career and prepared him to be a speaker. He also discusses how he approaches his speaking engagements to better suit his audience.

“I think it’s important when you talk to any group is to understand their language and get out of your own language that you think is right in your head and talk in their language, or you’re not going to be able to communicate with them.” -Mike Veny [14:39]

“There’s so many things that are different about us, and yet, we’re all hearing there way more things that we probably share that are the same. And that’s the part that I think is so healing and so necessary right now as we have these difficult conversations that I would say generationally that we were not willing to have.” -Dr. B [17:50]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[01:22] What keeps Mike going day-to-day

[02:13] Why he’s interested in emotional wellness

[05:24] What prepared him to be a speaker

[12:12] How he approaches his speaking engagements

[19:24] An example of how we interact with each other

[??:??] How generations handle conversations

[28:19] An experiment Mike tried this year

[32:46] How Mike develop his skill to have tough conversations

[36:43] How to contact Mike

[37:33] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

Visit Mike Veny’s website: mikeveny.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Jelani Memory, Co-Founder and CEO at A Kids Book About. Jelani talks about origins of the book series and the writing process of his book, A Book About Racism. He also gives a sneak peek of what’s to come with A Kids Company About. Dr. B and Seth provide a brief preview of the podcast’s season two which will focus on generational differences.

“I think you’re so spot on and timely in that the littles are just chomping at the bit to have these conversations that adults have been scared to talk about.” -Dr. B [16:55]

“My thesis is really simple. It’s that I think everyone has a story to tell, which then by virtue of that means everyone has a kids book inside them that can be written, because everyone’s story truly is valuable and remarkable.” -Jelani Memory [20:48]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[02:14] Meet Jelani

[04:??] Writing A Kids Book About Racism and starting the book series

[10:18] Some of the hurdles from writing the book

[13:29] Response from kids, parents and grandparents

[20:22] About the book series

[22:25] Who gifted Jelani his resilience

[25:38] Seeking a father figure

[30:44] Creating a company and what’s to come

[43:34] How to stay connected with A Kids Company About

[45:40] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Visit A Kids Company About: akidsco.com

Our partners:

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore preview Season 2 and the theme of the season: generational differences. They discuss the four generational archetypes and how each generation as a whole perceives science and spirituality as well as travel. They also talk about the psychology behind dangerous hobbies and professions.

“When you don’t allow your ideas that you come up with to be critiqued by others and by a larger body that has had history on history of good kinds of arguing over ideas and philosophies and stuff like that, then we all kind of have our separate spirituality, and there’s not a movement towards a singular thing. Which again, not a good or bad thing, but there’s just strengths and weaknesses for both.” -Seth Creekmore [13:52]

“From a neurobiological perspective, one of the things that we know is that having diverse experiences with different people, different places, different foods, different all cultures, that that then creates the framework, the blueprints in our brains, that allow us to embrace diversity and then integrated into our systems of how we do things as either ‘country’ or society or community.” -Dr. B [28:36]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[02:00] The psychology behind dangerous hobbies and professions

[10:15] How the four generations possibly perceive science and spirituality

[16:49] Four generational archetypes

[24:21] What it means to travel and why we travel

[37:21] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Follow Seth on Instagram: instagram.com/creekmoremusic

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Jelani Memory, Co-Founder and CEO at A Kids Book About. Jelani talks about origins of the book series and the writing process of his book, A Book About Racism. He also gives a sneak peek of what’s to come with A Kids Company About. Dr. B and Seth provide a brief preview of the podcast’s season two which will focus on generational differences.

“I think you’re so spot on and timely in that the littles are just chomping at the bit to have these conversations that adults have been scared to talk about.” -Dr. B [16:55]

What You Will Learn:

[00:00] Intro

[02:14] Meet Jelani

[04:??] Writing A Kids Book About Racism and starting the book series

[10:18] Some of the hurdles from writing the book

[13:29] Response from kids, parents and grandparents

[20:22] About the book series

[22:25] Who gifted Jelani his resilience

[25:38] Seeking a father figure

[30:44] Creating a company and what’s to come

[43:34] How to stay connected with A Kids Company About

[45:40] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Visit A Kids Company About: akidsco.com

Our partners:

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In the season finale of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore reflect on Season 1 and what they enjoyed this season. They remind us why we should find people we can connect with so we can continue to have those difficult conversations in a safe space. Dr. B gives a short preview of what’s to come in Season Two which will start in September.

“Happiness also includes sadness, because the reason that we’re happy is because it’s a finite experience. It’s like ‘I’m not always going to have this’ and that just gives you a larger vessel to gulp it in.” -Seth Creekmore [04:52]

“We want our children to evaluate how to pick people in their lives that lead them towards resilience, happiness, courageousness and loving, graceful relationships. So, if that’s what we want for our children, we have to start practicing it for ourselves.” -Dr. B [11:24]

What You Will Learn:

[00:36] Intro

[01:19] What Dr. B is most excited about with this season

[02:59] Seek out happy

[05:47] Practice safe conversations

[10:31] Find the people you can connect with

[15:51] Dr. B’s final thoughts and what’s to come for Season 2

[17:27] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Samantha Wettje, co-founder of the 16 Strong Project in New York. Samantha talks about how the project works with young people about building resilience, conquering trauma and understanding adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) so they can heal in the process. She discusses how the program helps students recognize their own situation and potential impacts that will help them navigate the challenges that come along with ACEs and childhood trauma.

“I think that in order for us to best educate students and educate kids is by having a full understanding and a full picture of everything each individual student has gone through.” -Samantha Wettje [26:42]

“You can’t separate mental health from your overall being, and so when we integrate our whole selves into one perspective, then we have a better opportunity to live a full life and a happy life.” -Dr. B [34:16]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[01:49] Meet Samantha Wettje

[02:23] What is the 16 Strong Project

[03:49] How they distribute the information to the age groups

[07:46] The unique challenge for her

[10:31] How they pitch the program to the school

[16:59] A success story

[21:15] The story behind the name

[22:43] What inspired Samantha to start this

[26:33] If this will change education overall

[29:23] 16 Strong Project’s main goal

[30:12] One thing to start working through ACEs

[32:06] How to contact Samantha Wettje

[35:30] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Visit the 16 Strong Project: 16strongproject.com

Follow the project on Instagram: @16strongproject

Email 16 Strong Project: 16strongproject@gmail.com

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Zander Keig, a certified Queer and Trans Affirming Professional and cerfiied Rainbow Shield Service Provider. Zander was named The National Association of Social Workers (NASW) Social Worker of the Year in 2020. He talks about his work with the LGBTQ+ military and veteran community. He also discusses the misinformation he has seen in the press about the transgender community and shares some organzations that can provide resources and assistance.

“If we truly want to be good stewards of our community, then we should dive deeply into actual research on LGBT people as a whole and then break it down into the different groups.” - Zander Keig [27:45]

“There’s optimism and resilience in every group in the world.” - Dr. B [41:32]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[01:48] Meet Zander Keig and his certifications

[06:45] Rainbow Shield and working with LGBTQ+ veterans

[09:06] His work with the transgender miltary and veteran community

[18:29] Real life experiences during the transgender military ban

[23:29] Misinformation about the transgender community in the press

[29:19] Term definitions

[38:02] Some practical takeaways

[43:04] How to contact Zander Keig

[43:52] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Visit Zander’s website: zanderkeig.net

Visit TransYouth Family Ally: imatyfa.org

Visit PFLAG: pflag.org

Visit American Trans Resource Hub: atrh.org

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore talk about how we view and train trauma. They discuss how people are triggered and the differentiation between that with uncomfortable feelings. They also share what to do and what not to do when dealing with trauma.

“My generation is about ‘we’re creating safe spaces.’ Ok, yes. We also need to create brave spaces at the same time in the same space.” - Seth Creekmore [10:12]

“I think that's where trauma really comes in. We want to control everything. Healing trauma means letting go of that control.” - Dr. B [22:51]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[02:10] What is trauma

[04:08] Problems and misconceptions

[09:15] How to differentiate triggers and uncomfortable feelings

[16:21] Transition of language and passing the torch

[27:59] Practical takeaways

[35:22] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Matthew Winner, Head of Podcasts at A Kids Book About. Matthew talks about how to use books to have difficult conversations and what he has learned over the years. He also shares what A Kids Podcast About has planned for the future.

“We can all serve everyone better by just talking more even if it’s going to be messy. Because being messy can still have the effect of being seen, and being seen is a really big tool.” - Matthew Winner [12:18]

“It is so true that the best way to keep somebody safe is to talk about what’s on the other side of the door before you walk through the door.” - Dr. B [35:32]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[02:33] Meet Mathew Winner

[05:33] What is A Kids Book About

[08:24] The most difficult and easiest of producing the podcast

[10:23] How to have difficult conversations with kids

[18:40] How books can create a safe space

[20:10] When should parents broach certain subjects

[28:46] How books are there when we need there

[33:12] Some practical takeaways

[37:59] How to contact Matthew Winner

[39:54] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Learn more about A Kids Book About: akidsbookabout.com

Listen to A Kids Podcast About: a-kids-book-about-the-podcast.simplecast.com

Visit Matthew Winner’s website: matthewcwinner.com

Follow Matthew on Twitter: @MatthewWinner

Find Mathew on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/matthew-winner-23aa6426

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore talk about neuroception and understanding the polyvagal theory. They discuss how these self-regulating systems interact with our bodies and share strategies that help us work with this.

“Your face is very revealing in how you feel about a situation, both as the receiver and as the deliverer.” - Dr. B [10:48]

“We all have emotions but we don’t all feel our emotions, and the feeling, the bodily sensation of your emotions is the thing that we often don’t like.” - Seth Creekmore [20:20]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[02:39] What is neuroception

[03:38] When parasympathetic & sympathetic nervous systems are activated

[07:48] Ventral vagal and dorsal vagus

[11:24] Practical ways of tapping into this and working with this

[18:18] Ways for parents or caretakers to educate children about these systems

[19:58] Strategies to tone the vagus nerve

[27:10] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore speak with Gail Kennedy from PACEs Connection. Gail talks about the connection between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and positive and adverse childhood experiences (PACEs). She also discusses how PACEs Connection provides a worldwide online and community-based network with the goal of raising awareness in how ACEs can change and impact who we are as well as the positive things that happen to us.

“Once you learn about ACEs and then PACEs and resilience, because we have to understand it within ourselves before we can really share it with somebody else. Always integrating that story of like, ‘Who am I in relation to my ACE score?’ helps me create my story. Then my story can drive everything else that goes on around me, but it’s very hard to drive the car if you’re not in the car.” - Dr. B [16:30]

“We’re the connectors. We’re the place where people can find each other or the online presence that a group that’s been meeting, that were doing this great work can share with each other and the rest of the world what they’re doing.” - Gail Kennedy [19:12]

What You Will Learn:

[00:36] Intro

[04:10] The connection between ACEs Connection & PACEs Connection

[10:56] How PACEs Connection is structured

[13:22] When Gail found out about ACEs

[18:43] Geography-based communities

[20:33] Any downfalls that people have experienced

[23:30] ACEs Aware Initiative in California

[29:37] How important it is to be in touch with your body

[32:04] Seven stress busters

[35:27] How to contact Gail Kennedy

[38:32] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Visit PACEs Connection: pacesconnection.com

Email Gail Kennedy: gkennedy@pacesconnection.com

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

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In part two of this two-part episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore continue their conversation with Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe, known as the “Patient Doctor.” Dr. Jerome talks about how the Enneagram intersects with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). He discusses the concept of neuroplasticity and the three intelligence sensors that correlate with most everyday life.

“If you understand what triggers you, then you start to understand what motivates you, not only what you’re trying to pursue, but what you’re trying to avoid.” - Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe [21:18]

“The trauma isn’t me. It is an experience. I’m having it. So how long can I manage it before it becomes a trauma or before I’m done and I’m out and I’m over it.” - Dr. B [30:04]

What You Will Learn:

[00:36] Intro

[01:45] What is ACEs

[04:14] The intersection between ACEs and Enneagram

[09:45] What is neuroplasticity

[12:44] Nurture, nature and discipline based conditioning

[14:01] Three intelligence sensors

[15:26] How it connects with ACEs

[24:19] What have helped Dr. B and Dr. Jerome

[34:29] Book recommendations

[37:48] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/dr.beasley

Visit Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe’s website: drjerome.com

Listen to the first part of the interview with Dr. Jerome: podbean.com/ew/pb-2i36h-102aac0

Visit Enneagram Prison Project: enneagramprisonproject.org

Visit National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM): nicabm.com

Dr. Jerome’s book recommendations:

Books by Daniel J. Siegel: amazon.com/Daniel-J.-Siegel/e/B00459LSPI%3F

1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan: 123magic.com

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: attachedthebook.com

The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science by Norman Doidge: amazon.com/Brain-That-Changes-Itself-Frontiers/dp/0143113100

The Brain's Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity by Norman Doidge: amazon.com/gp/product/B00KWG9L2A

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: samc.com

Truth Work Media: truthworkmedia.com

The Brain's Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity

The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science

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In the first of a two-part episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore talk with Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe, known as the “Patient Doctor.” Dr. Jerome talks about his work that specializes in complex, unresolved neurological cases and how he explores how functional neurology, neuroplasticity, and tools like the Enneagram can improve holistic well-being. He also discusses ways to help people, especially children, easily understand the function of the brain.

“If people took mental and emotional health and neurological therapies and they treated them the same way if they would if they went into the gym, they’d understand it’s not actually that complicated.” - Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe [13:06]

“This is what school needs to be about, like really just activating our brain in different ways and making it more dynamic and easy. Just easy for people. Why do we have to make everybody feel intimidated by medicine?” - Dr. B [14:54]

What You Will Learn:

[00:36] Intro

[02:00] Meet Jerome D. Lubbe

[06:53] Examples how he addresses certain issues

[09:21] How his work is tied to sensory processing

[14:54] Why this works so fast

[20:27] How to help kids understand

[29:44] Tips to help kids deal with the vaccine

[31:48] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Visit Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe’s website: www.drjerome.com

The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child by Robert Sears

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore talk with Ashlee Hernandez about intergenerational trauma, immigration and oppression. Ashlee manages the Fresno County Trauma-Informed Network of Care (NoC) through the ACEs Aware Initiative. Ashley draws from her personal experiences to discuss how the intersectionality of immigration and oppression impact people through adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Listen as they share how to heal from this trauma that crosses generations.

“It’s so important to talk about your trauma and share your story because someone could be listening that has a similar story and then that can speak to them and have them maybe not feel alone.” - Ashlee Hernandez [10:00]

“Voice is so important. When we recognize that we’re having an experience from childhood in our adult lives, just owning that and knowing it is so healing and powerful.” - Dr. B [20:16]

“You can blame as many people as you want, and yes, there’s a certain level of accountability that needs to be had, but really at the end of the day, it’s about your work. You have to do the work.” - Seth Creekmore [26:50]

What You Will Learn:

[00:36] Intro

[02:12] Ashlee’s family history with immigration

[07:15] The impact of intergenerational trauma

[12:09] What is intergenerational trauma

[16:03] Ways intergenerational trauma shows up in Ashlee’s life

[22:56] Why it’s important to recognize systemic difference

[31:08] Why we should shift our thinking around those receiving government assistance

[37:11] An actionable takeaway to work through intergenerational trauma

[39:05] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and Seth Creekmore talk about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and learning differences. They explain what they are and how they can show up in different forms. Listen as Dr. B shares some ways to help a child with a learning difference.

“Just recognizing that people learn differently and we don’t have to make it a disability or a bad thing. It’s all about relating.” - Dr. B [09:06]

What You Will Learn:

[00:36] Intro

[03:48] What is ADHD and learning differences

[06:26] How Seth communicates with his younger brother

[09:06] Recognizing that people learn differently

[14:07] ADHD and ADD in two forms

[20:00] Learn how to support a child with a learning difference

[25:06] How children learn best through their senses and whole body

[29:53] Some actionable takeaways

[38:34] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this special episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about coming out after being married to a man on the Talk Out Loud podcast with hosts Jeff Miller and Anthony Navarro. She shares how she navigated her life after she broke the news to her children and then-husband. She also talks about why it’s important to have a relationship with a good caregiver.

“The most powerful force in building resilience, which is the ability to overcome adversity, is one loving, attuned caregiver relationship. Somebody who can see you for who you are and love you for who you are under all circumstances.” - Dr. B [42:31]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[01:09] What to expect in this episode

[02:17] Dr. B’s childhood and family life

[13:13] Why it’s never too late to live your truth

[15:32] A neurological process some women go through

[17:03] Dr. B’s coming out story

[25:07] Her work with adverse childhood experiences

[31:24] How she had those tough conversation with her children

[35:57] Where to start the healing process with ACEs

[42:12] The importance of having a good caregiver relationship

[46:40] Why stories are so important

[51:35] The story behind the podcast’s name

[52:46] What they can expect to hear on Delusional Optimism

[1:02:44] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Listen to Talk Out Loud podcast: www.talk-outloud.com

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about how depression and anxiety correlate with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). They share how depression and anxiety can show up in teenagers and younger children and discuss the differences between feeling sad and depression. Listen as Dr. B shares practical tips to work through these two conditions.

“There’s a steady correlation between the higher number of adverse childhood experiences or ACEs, the more likely the person is to suffer from depression.” - Dr. B [04:58]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[03:18] The relationship between depression and anxiety with ACEs

[09:26] How depression and anxiety show up for teenagers and younger children

[12:53] How depression and anxiety show up

[19:14] The different between feeling sad and depression

[22:10] How to work through grief process through resilience

[25:51] Practical tips to work through depression and anxiety

[28:18] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about young adults, ages 19 to 24. They discuss the defining characteristics as this age group shifts from having a shared life with their parents to their own independent life with themselves, and how this age group relates to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Dr. B also shares what is going through a young adult’s brain when they act out. Listen for three ways parents can give their children resilience and support even if they may not agree with the decisions that they’re making.

“The need of this period in life is to separate. It’s very important for young adults to separate from their parents in order to find who they are in themselves, and then they can come back later and reconnect on an adult level.” - Dr. B [13:48]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[03:02] The defining characteristic of young adults

[04:32] ACEs and young adults

[06:48] High character, low health

[12:22] What’s going in a young adult’s brain when they act out

[20:01] What Dr. B has worked through as a parent

[23:26] Realization that mortality is real

[29:23] Three ways parents can give their children resilience and support

[36:34] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about tweens and teens. They talk about what parents need to know and the specific areas to address as they raise this age group. Dr. B discusses how to set boundaries as this age group experiences autonomy. Listen as she shares how to have those important, yet sometimes awkward, conversations about sex, drugs and the arts.

“Balancing out our adulthood with our emerging young adults, we’re teaching them to become adults like us.” - Dr. B [13:11]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[01:58] Awkward stories from Dr. B’s teen stage

[04:17] What to know about this stage

[06:44] Some specific areas to address in this age group

[14:06] How ACEs affect the competency to follow rules

[16:54] How to talk to this age group about music, sex and drugs

[25:31] How to enter into these conversations in a respectful way

[29:31] How to navigate conversations about bodies

[40:06] Some actionable takeaways

[45:15] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about raising children ages 6 to 12 years old, also referred to as middles. They discuss the typical difficulties with this age group and how to guide them through life topics such as death. Listen as they share advice on how to set rules and boundaries but also allow for flexibility.

“We don’t want kids to grow up and be so stuck in the black and white of a rule that it ends up being harmful to other people.” - Dr. B [26:41]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[03:10] What is a middle

[05:50] Why is there such a range between 6 to 12

[09:28] Typical difficulties and confusing points

[17:51] A Kids Book About series

[23:35] How to set up rules and boundaries

[32:41] Why it’s more about the structure

[35:57] Unity not uniformity

[38:08] The point of resilience and optimism

[40:11] Some actionable takeaways

[43:06] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Learn more A Kids Book About series: www.akidsbookabout.com

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about bullying. Bullying is the second-leading cause of death between the ages 10 to 34 in the US and one in five students report bullying. Dr. B and Seth talk about how bullying integrates to our understanding of ACEs and what parents can do to help curtail this imbalance of power.

“When children are bullied or even adults are bullied, it leads to anxiety, depression, sleep problems, lower achievement in school and even a dropout rate that’s been reported by the CDC in 2018.” - Dr. B [05:15]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[02:17] What is bullying

[05:07] What happens to those who are bullied

[06:14] How the internet plays into bullying

[11:42] Bullying is typically two things: individual and systemic

[15:58] Why exposing young people to different cultures can curb bullying

[20:32] How to find the road to equity and battling disparity

[26:42] Why you should be a co-conspirator

[28:45] Some solutions to bullying

[38:31] Peer-to-peer programs

[41:42] What can parents do

[44:47] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about raising children ages three to five years old. Dr. B explains the developmental stages of this period of life and how they relate to each other. Listen as she shares tips on how to parent a child in these age groups for your sanity as well as theirs.

“Yes, we’re parents, but what are parents? They are the guides. We’re walking them from one stepping stone to the next.” - Dr. B [10:29]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[03:21] The stories behind the names

[05:25] Threenagers

[07:21] How age groups affect each other

[13:38] Tips to parent three-year-olds

[21:10] How much this applies to adulthood

[22:56] Difference between three-year-old and four-year-old

[27:04] Allowing them to expand their personal preference

[31:12] Masculine energy vs feminine energy with primary adults

[36:44] Fivers

[38:57] Why it’s important to be careful with what adults are around your child

[45:05] Guiding five-year-olds to draw their own boundaries

[48:35] We don’t have to be perfect

[50:51] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore discuss what toddlers need from 24 to 36 months. This stage of life can be a frustrating one, but Dr. B shares why parents should celebrate and appreciate their toddler saying no and setting boundaries during this period. Listen as she talks about why parents should be careful with what they say in front of their toddler and how toddlerhood plays into sibling dynamics.

“Imitation is a cornerstone of toddlerhood.” - Dr. B [05:29]

What You Will Learn:

[00:36] Intro

[02:06] Dr. B’s favorite thing about the toddler stage

[05:26] What to know about this age

[08:17] Some realistic examples and experiences

[11:40] Sibling dynamics and ACEs

[20:54] Why it’s important to understand the purpose of toddlerhood

[23:02] Parent-infant mental health

[25:29] Actionable takeaways

[30:46] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about what babies need from birth to 24 months. She shares examples of things babies must go through between birth and 24 months as well as some common parenting myths that are harmful and misleading.

“Parenting and understanding children, it’s like having a loaf of bread, the slices of ages and stages that children go through that then have experiences woven in.” - Dr. B [02:44]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[02:34] How Dr. B want people to think about parenting

[04:06] Common myths about parenting babies that are harmful and misleading

[13:10] Some realistic examples on how to survive birth to 2

[20:14] Object permanence and depth psychology

[29:35] Why differentiation is important for toddlers

[33:45] Actionable takeaways

[39:54] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore talk about parenting and resilience. Dr. B. defines the term and what it means to be a parent, using her family as an example. Listen to how parents can help their children overcome adversity and thrive to become happy, productive people.

“That’s really the one thing when I ask parents what do they want for their children. They always say ‘I just want my children to be happy.’” - Dr. B [05:33]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[02:03] Dr. B’s children and if her training ever gets in the way of her parenting

[04:44] Defining resilience

[05:51] The definition of being a parent

[08:18] How important the initial relationship is with biological mother

[13:14] How parents’ ACEs affect children

[15:58] How to be delusionally optimistic about this

[25:21] Actionable takeaways

[30:02] Outro

Leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B and co-host Seth Creekmore continue with their review of the ACE series and answer more questions from listeners.

“We need to be aware of our impact on other people’s spirit or soul or emotional body, because actually that’s more harmful in the long run than stabbing someone with a knife.” - Dr. B [25:35]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[01:54] If there’s a disparity in ACE scores with marginalized communities

[06:19] If trauma in early childhood causes resistant towards authority

[16:26] Micro-emotions, universal emotions and confirmation bias

[21:54] What foster/resource parents should know about ACEs for LGBTQ children

[28:28] What is reverse engineering foster care

[32:27] How the root causes the ACEs

[37:47] One thing people can do to comfort themselves

[41:17] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

Overview of ACEs Part 1

Don’t Feed into the Trauma Cycle episode

We Want to Do More Than Survive: Abolitionist Teaching and the Pursuit of Educational Freedom by Bettina L. Love

Fantoms podcast

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B wraps up the ACE series with a review with co-host Seth Creekmore and answers questions from listeners.

“I really think that it’s our time in history to embrace our young children and really recognize that that’s the transformation of our society.” - Dr. B [20:36]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[2:15] The feedback Dr. B has received on the ACEs series and what surfaced as she recorded the episodes

[5:11] What she’s excited about for the upcoming series about parenting

[07:22] Things that can affect how the COVID-19 pandemic impacts kids

[11:18] Definitions of ages and stages and how they relate

[17:00] If trauma has the same effect on the brain after the age of 18 as ACEs do to brains under the age of 18

[20:54] How adverse childhood experiences impact self-efficacy in adulthood

[28:36] The best way for people in support roles to help children experiencing ACEs

[33:26] The emotional impact of life on children’s physical health

[38:??] What is ”good enough” parenting

[40:26] Practices or habits that can metabolize stored-body and/or cellular trauma

[49:48] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

D.W. Winnicott’s “good enough mother”

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

Dr. Peter A. Levine

Dr. Dan Siegel

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about how prevention is intervention. She discusses studies, such as The Abecedarian Project, that reveal the importance of early childhood development. She also shares a few interventions that could lead to better health outcomes.

“When we protect the vulnerable from the invincible first, we create strong, healthy, thoughtful and relational communities.” - Dr. B [9:42]

What You Will Learn:

[0:36] Intro

[02:13] How saving money saves a lifetime of pain

[06:00] How scaffolding and support leads to resilience

[10:43] What is The Abecedarian Project

[19:55] James Heckman’s study

[24:25] What the The Abecedarian Project revealed

[26:11] The metabolic syndrome

[29:37] A list of interventions

[34:24] Actionable takeaways

[37:01] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

We Want to Do More Than Survive: Abolitionist Teaching and the Pursuit of Educational Freedom by Bettina L. Love

The Abecedarian Project

James Heckman’s study

The metabolic syndrome

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Our partners:

ACEs Aware: www.acesaware.org

Every Neighborhood Partnership: www.everyneighborhood.org

Saint Agnes Medical Center: www.samc.com

Truth Work Media: www.truthworkmedia.com

View Details

In this episode of "Delusional Optimism," Dr. B highlights the importance of taking care of ourselves, and of cultivating that practice in children. She also explains the neuroscience around empathy and compassion while addressing racial disparities in healthcare.

Listen to how you can take a better care of yourself and the people around you without the risks of over-empathising.

“We know that Covid-19 disproportionately impacts communities of color. Racism is alive and well, not only in our hospitals and our medical offices, but it's really in our society as a whole, which has been uncovered dramatically and almost instantaneously on a broad scale with Covid-19.” - Dr. B [04:03]

What You Will Learn:

[00:01] Intro

[01:36] Caregiving and the question of race in the midst of a global pandemic

[04:41] Systemic racism and the access to healthcare

[10:30] The neuroscience around empathy and compassion: race relations

[30:00] Resilience and optimism

[35:08] Some actionable takeaways: words matter; be kind to yourself and to others; figure out what your affirmations are and say them to yourselves daily

[38:57] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Book mentioned: “We Want to Do More Than Survive” by Bettina L. Love

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In this episode of "Delusional Optimism," Dr. B explains the need to trace back earlier patterns of unresolved emotional conflict in our past, understand trauma in our present life and work towards breaking the cycle of trauma transmission through generations.

Understand how unresolved reminiscence from the past affects your relationships in the present.

“This is at the heart of how intergenerational trauma works, it's about the reminiscence of the past that impacts the relationships in the present.” - Dr. B [10:39]

What You Will Learn:

[00:01] Intro

[02:46] Intergenerational trauma: causes and prevention

[08:00] Ghosts from the past vs. trauma

[22:03] How can we still be resilient?

[27:20] Some actionable takeaways: ask questions; be curious and learn your story; acknowledge and learn about different people’s experiences; see professional support with a trained infant mental health provider

[32:38] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

This show is published and produced by the team at Truth Work Media. Truth Work Media creates podcasts and develops content for businesses and clients of all sizes. Truth Work Media helps tell your business's story, and brand your message in an engaging way. Check them out at www.truthworkmedia.com

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In this episode of "Delusional Optimism," Dr. B explains the link between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and substance misuse. She unravels how trauma can manifest in various forms of addiction, and calls for the need to have conversations about drugs that are centered on trauma.

“People overcome addiction but it requires retraining and building a new set of neural pathways to rely on safety, stability, and security. ” - Dr. B [24:04]

What You Will Learn:

[00:01] Intro

[00:32] The correlation between adverse childhood experiences and drug addiction: how does trauma lead to drug misuse?

[09:32] A personal experience with addiction

[21:15] Some actionable takeaways: remember that addiction is a consequence of trauma; have early conversations on drug misuse with children and friends; recognize if someone in your family misused drugs or alcohol

[27:22] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

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In this episode of "Delusional Optimism," Dr. B talks about adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). She explains the extent of traumatic experiences we can encounter in our childhood, and provides insight on how to cultivate healing practices in our present lives to become resilient.

Listen to how you can lead yourself to healing.

“We need to carefully examine our language that we use so it doesn't imply blame to the person and cause even more trauma”- Dr. B [4:36]

What You Will Learn:

[00:37] Intro

[01:10] Understanding adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)

[05:38] How does weight gain manifest as a trauma response

[13:04] A personal story on protective weight gain

[18:33] The pathway to undo trauma

[21:53] Some actionable takeaways: change the blame game; have difficult conversations; allow yourself to become conscious of your body and your mind; always seek and advocate for support

[25:28] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

Book mentioned: “The Body Keeps Score” by Bessel van der Kolk

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In this episode of “Delusional Optimism”, Dr. B talks about wiring the brain for wellness. She explains how our experiences in life, from infancy to adulthood, affect our physical and neurological health. Dr. B also opens a discussion on health inequity and advocates for fairer healthcare practices that will positively impact people’s long term health.

Listen to how social determinants influence your health and the health of people around you.

“Loving relationships mediate trauma, mediate risk, and build resilience and the ability to overcome adversity.” - Dr. B [7:26]

What You Will Learn:

[0:37] Intro

[1:43] Investing early in the wellness of young children as a means to create more resilient families and communities

[4:31] Healthy brain development is intrinsically linked to favorable life experiences

[7:47] The progression of brain development through life

[13:01] A lesson on extreme poverty in Nairobi and its impact on health

[18:30] How social and economic factors are significant determinants of health

[21:22] The process of building resilience

[27:11] Some actionable takeaways: become aware that health is a product of our environment more than our biology; know that building resilience is a choice; embrace your resilience and recognize your power to be a social determinant of health to others

[29:39] Breathe deeply and find your calm, and don’t forget to be kind to yourself and others

[30:35] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about stress. She explains the differences between healthy and toxic stress and the neuroscience behind it. Dr. B also shares how moods play a role in temperament and provides tips on how to stay on the sunny side. Listen to why relationships with people you trust are a key to resilience.

“Breath is a cleanser and a disperser of energy and anxiety and trauma, so we need to embrace it and use it to our advantage.” - Dr. B [33:26]

What You Will Learn:

[0:37] Intro

[1:40] How healthy stress works + an example of unhealthy level of stress

[6:24] Mediating stress + toxic stress

[12:14] The neuroscience of stress + substance misuse

[18:05] How cortisol works and how it reacts to a flight or fight situation

[22:21] How mood is part of temperament + how to stay on the sunny side

[28:08] How experience builds neuro-pathways

[29:04] Some actionable takeaways: Check in with yourself. Be kind to yourself and find people to be kind.

[32:21] Take some deep breaths and find your calm

[36:46] Outro

Wear a mask and find your calm!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B speaks on trauma and resilience. She explains what Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are and the origin behind them. Dr. B also discusses how the 10 original ACEs fall into three categories in your brain and the neuroscience behind them.

Listen to why it’s important to acknowledge our stressors of the past to help us thrive in the present. Dr. B shares practical tips for coping through challenging times and how resilience and relationships mediates trauma.

“When we know better, we help each other do better.” - Dr. B [20:26]

What You Will Learn:

[0:37] Intro

[1:46] What is Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) + where it began

[7:08] How trauma influences visible and hidden ailments

[9:23] What resilience means

[10:21] How the 10 original ACEs fall into three categories in your brain

[15:37] How to look at them per category + timing is everything

[17:58] The prevalence of ACEs + how ACEs are interrelated

[19:51] The neuroscience behind ACEs + how we triumph over trauma

[28:37] An example of an experience that can form an ACE

[30:45] Optimism and resilience

[32:31] Actionable takeaways: The roots of adult behavior trace to infancy and childhood

[36:32] Outro

Wear a mask and lead with resilience!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B speaks on the concept of magical thinking as a phase in childhood, a form of parenting, and a defense and coping mechanism. She explains how it shows up in childhood and adulthood, in terms of both typical development and unhealthy behaviors or thoughts. Dr. B also describes the relationship between magical thinking, anxiety, and OCD.

Listen in to learn the neuroscience and optimism behind magical thinking, along with actionable takeaways regarding how you can use empathy to understand it. Dr. B teaches you how planning, along with taking reasonable precautions, can help you manage anxiety and OCD, and describes how to utilize conversation and explanations to manage magical thinking in children.

“Trauma in childhood leads to a child needing to try to control things they can’t understand in an abstract world by magically making up their version of the way things work.” - Dr. B [12:46]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:01] What Magical Thinking is and how it shows up in early childhood and adulthood
[3:20] Why divorce and the death of a parent during childhood is so traumatizing
[5:10] Magical thinking allows people to believe they have way more power and control over situations than they really do.
[8:53] Dr. B’s personal experience with her son’s magical thinking
[15:20] Feeling helplessness regarding Covid-19 and making sense of it
[16:46] The neuroscience and optimism behind magical thinking
[19:46] How anxiety and OCD relates to magical thinking
[22:54] Actionable takeaways from today’s episode: Empathy, planning, reasonable precautions, and explanations
[30:41] An extreme version of magical thinking: Managing the reality of Covid-19
[33:43] Outro

Wear a mask and leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B shares the meaning behind the phrase “leave a lifeprint.” She shares personal stories of how she has created lifeprints and offers powerful words of wisdom regarding resiliency, acts of kindness, altruism, and healing childhood trauma.

You can’t fix trauma with resiliency. Learning to engage in the lifeprints and connections we make in life is the key to healing and building resiliency. Listen in to learn how you can build resiliency by focusing on the small stuff.

“You don’t have to know how you impact somebody else, what’s important to know is that you do with your life things that impact other people’s lives in a loving, caring, kind, and contributive way.” - Dr. B [5:02]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:01] What does “leave a lifeprint” mean? + The impacts of two reality mortality events in Dr. B’s life
[4:15] Being conscious of the lifeprints you leave behind + Accepting that we can’t always know or see the impacts of our lifeprints
[6:30] A personal story about lifeprints created during Dr. B’s trip to Kenya
[12:15] It’s the small acts of kindness that builds resiliency.
[13:32] Altruism is health food for all of us.
[14:13] People often struggle with the unknown… You must invest in resiliency for the long term.
[15:45] Resilience isn’t taught or given to people + The results of too much trauma in childhood
[16:59] Depth and long-term investment is required to build a resilient society.
[17:58] Takeaways from the phrase “leave a lifeprint”
[20:26] Positively impacting others during covid-19
[21:21] Common regrets of those on their deathbeds + The most important parts of life
[22:13] We must train our brains to engage in the lifeprints and the connections we make.
[23:19] Outro

Now go leave a lifeprint!

Resources:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about the importance of maintaining relationships by having uncomfortable conversations with family and friends about COVID-19. She talks about how we’re are slowly adapting to the current environment and how that could have never happened were it not for the pandemic.

Listen in to learn the risk that COVID-19 still poses for you and younger children going back to school and how we can still exercise safety guidelines. You will also learn how you can maintain healthy conversations and safe relationships so as not to feel held hostage by cabin fever.

“Get comfortable being uncomfortable at least long enough to have a healthy conversation and not destroy your relationship.” [13:58]

What You Will Learn:

[0:31] Intro
[1:21] People’s different opinions about COVID-19’s safety guidelines and why there’s more pressure now than when it all started.
[4:28] Dr. B explains how her family has been handling COVID-19 safety measures.
[7:19] The awaiting risk of COVID-19 if younger children go back to school especially due to the oncoming cold season.
[11:09] Cabin fever and its relation to COVID-19- how we’re feeling stuck and needing to be adaptable to our environment.
[12:41] How we’re adapting to the new way of doing things.
[13:11] Why we need to get comfortable being uncomfortable to have healthy conversations without destroying relationships.
[14:46] How COVID-19 is forcing us to learn how to set boundaries confidently.
[17:58] Figure out how to get your vitamin D so you don’t feel held hostage by cabin fever.
[19:13] Find a plan to activate your endorphins to feel better.
[20:16] Build a supportive network to stay connected with the world, friends, and family.
[23:43] How to have open conversations virtually to help keep relationships alive.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B shares her take on the impacts of screen time, both on adults and children, as well as how covid-19 has transformed our lives in regards to communication, entertainment, and stress. She details the importance of setting boundaries, moving away from guilt around our children’s use of technology, and shares a few ways to incorporate healthy and educational activities into your kids’ screen time.

Learning to entertain oneself is a skill which kids need to build upon. Plus, we all need distractions during uncertain times and technology is just one of the tools we use to cope. Listen in to learn how you can lean into technology and change… and even benefit from it!

“I know that it’s hard not to feel guilty about loosening the rules on how much screen time we allow, but it really is okay. Kids are balanced by parents who are balanced and healthy.” - [22:41]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[2:36] Ways that excessive screen time impacts life today
[4:39] Violence on TV or in video games & Violence in society: Are they correlated?
[5:47] Dr. B expresses her concern with excessive screen use from her son and granddaughter.
[7:53] Dr. B shares a story that shows how kids grow up with technology being part of who they are.
[9:09] Where’s the balance? + The importance of kids having experiences without technology.
[10:56] Ways to have good screen time
[11:40] The Global Transformation: How covid-19 has transformed everything we’re doing right now.
[13:45] The uncertainty of 2020 has caused adults to be are stressed, which means kids are stressed.
[16:53] Leaning into technology and change… and liking it?
[18:01] Parents don’t need to feel guilty for their kids using technology so much right now, in fact, there are benefits to it.
[23:43] Self-care is critical, yet we often feel guilty for taking time for ourselves away from responsibilities.
[24:30] Takeaways from this episode

Relevant Links:

Email Dr. B: contact@drbconnections.com

Visit her website: www.drbconnections.com

Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.bconnections

Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dr.beasley

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B tackles the subject of homeschooling during the COVID-19 pandemic and the lessons we can take from it. She describes the meaning of education as loving relationships rather than the four walls of a classroom like we’re used to.

Listen in to learn how you can make most of the time you have with your children and teach them about love and connection as a family. You will also learn the importance of loving relationships in raising your children to be resilient.

“You don’t have to be perfect; you don’t have to do it all right all the time, you just have to do it OK some of the time.”- [14:23]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[2:12] Why education is much broader than the four walls of a classroom and children shouldn’t be exposed to COVID-19 in the name of ‘education’.
[3:26] How COVID-19 has forced us as parents to connect more with our children than we would have had the courage to connect with them before.
[6:05] Dr. B shares some stories of parents who have found joy in having their children at home and the relationships they’ve formed.
[11:38] How families are realizing that it is doable to be home together and how it is completely changing things.
[13:52] How COVID-19 is teaching parents that they’re competent and capable of keeping their children on track without overwhelm or perfection.
[15:33] The importance of loving relationships for raising resilient children.
[17:50] The life lessons you should learn from homeschooling.
[21:06] Forming a reading habit with your children to stay connected and giving them opportunities to learn important things.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about anxiety and panic attacks that happen during the night and where they originate from. She shares her personal story with anxiety after her diagnosis with cancer and how she came to understand the root cause of it.

Listen in to learn the importance of understanding the root of your anxiety and making sense of your life to change the trajectory of your future generations. You will also learn why you need to be kind to yourself and start by finding help to manage your anxiety.

“Recognize that anxiety is very common and there’s nothing wrong with you or bad about you if you have this experience and on any level of the spectrum that it shows up.” [33:03]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:12] Defining anxiety, how nighttime anxiety and panic attacks happen, and the current stresses of life that can trigger it.
[3:49] The overwhelming fear of dying that comes with anxiety. How past non-verbal traumas that lead to somatic responses.
[6:27] How depression and anxiety are passed epigenetically and may not necessarily be caused by trauma but rather passed down from another generation.
[7:36] Dr. B shares her personal story with anxiety after suffering from cancer and the role that medication played in getting her better.
[11:21] The benefit of bringing your unconscious story to the conscious. How Dr. B’s life history related to the anxiety she experienced when she had cancer.
[17:34] How anxiety allows us to make sense of our lives when we learn about its roots and get to change the trajectory of our children and grandchildren.
[19:18] Learning how to be kind to yourselves by finding help and the support to manage your anxiety.
[25:28] How to deal with primary anxiety by finding healing resources.
[26:15] The importance of finding help for your nighttime anxiety, not just for yourself but for others as well.
[28:45] Find the music to manage your anxiety.
[30:03] Connect with people- have connection partners that call you and you can call to share your emotional states.
[30:52] Say your anxiety out loud to let go of borrowed past experiences.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about depression and how it has roots in early childhood traumatic experiences. She explains the meaning of depression, types, causes, and the importance of supporting relationship-based care for children and families.

Listen in to hear Dr. B’s very personal story that largely explains how the loss of a parent can lead to depression in children of all ages. You will also hear how you can run your depression and not allow it to run you.

“The beginning has a huge impact on the middle and the end and future generations as well and that is the epigenetic contribution.” [39:20]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:14] The meaning of depression, types of depression, and symptoms of depression.
[5:43] Why women between 40-53 years are mostly affected by depression.
[10:05] Why children with ACES are more likely to suffer from depression in their adulthood.
[17:09] How to understand how past experiences affect the presence of people by bringing the subconscious into the conscious.
[19:59] The persistent ongoing adverse childhood experience trauma of losing a parent in infancy and how it can lead to depression.
[35:20] Why depression heavily embedded in childhood experiences is difficult to treat.
[36:30] The importance of treating depression right now in childhood to build resiliency.
[39:30] How to build and invest in what we know by supporting relationship-based care, invest in purposeful experiences in children and families, and invest in understanding childhood development.
[41:15] How to understand your depression by running it- process your experience of depression and run it through the lens of trauma.
[43:07] Be kind to yourself- put posted notes around the house to remind yourself that you’re important and loved.
[44:35] Integrate a music list for when you’re feeling bad i.e. particularly when you’re feeling angry or sad which will help you feel better.
[46:31] The benefits of getting treatment for your depression even at the lower level of it which will help you become better at who you’re and what you’re doing.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B dives into the controversial topic of spanking and asks the question ‘is spanking harmful?’. She talks about the negative effects of spanking, how it causes adverse childhood experiences, and what you can instead do to be a better parent.

Listen in to learn what research has shown over the years about spanking and the three categories of parents that exist. You will also learn the importance of having an education system that teaches parents about child development.

“The reason that spanking doesn’t work is because it creates pain, it creates fear, and it creates confusion in children.” [24:32]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:14] How 50 years of research shows spanking is harmful and the reasons that people give for doing it.
[7:32] How society has normalized spanking across the board making it acceptable.
[10:23] Research has established that spanked children exhibit aggression towards others and also leads to more anxiety and depression in adults and teenagers.
[15:46] The three categories of parents- the best parenting strategy is being consistent and predictable to form the same with your children.
[20:19] The importance of supporting both children and parents especially during these hard times that everyone is together.
[22:15] Learning to choose the new information and rectify how our parents did things. Learning from our mistakes and make changes based on new information and science.
[27:47] Building an education system that focuses on resiliency and teaches parents and people about children at different stages and ages.
[32:00] How to reconnect, repairing, and reconstitute with children when they do something that calls for a spanking.
[35:42] How to teach children to find their social-emotional strength over their physical strength.
[37:10] Purchase a child development book and learn.
[38:22] How to set up a purpose chore system rather than spanking.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

Books Mentioned:

Touchpoints: Birth to 3: Your Child's Emotional and Behavioral Development by T. Berry Brazelton
Raising Good Children by Thomas Lickona

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B invites her wife Lisa to share her coming out story and how the journey has been for her. Lisa talks about the fears of disappointing her family that she had growing up with the knowledge of being a lesbian and how she learned to overcome them.

Listen in to learn the importance of being ready to know your truth even though it might be difficult to accept and acknowledge it. You will also learn why white America needs to incorporate people of all communities for us to move forward.

“We need to redesign some of that stuff, we need to own it, acknowledge it, and make schools a systemically safe place for all children.” [27:07]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[3:00] Lisa shares the fear of disappointing her family with the truth even though she found out who she was at a younger age.
[6:26] She explains her experience with coming out to her mother and how she dealt with it.
[9:33] How she learned to be completely free without shame of identifying as a lesbian.
[11:02] She talks about her brief marriage in D.C before now and how she’s learning to reconcile with her own trauma.
[13:47] Why you need to be ready to know your truth and tell it due to the self-questioning that happens.
[18:18] The importance of incorporating all marginalized communities with white America and move forward as a group.
[19:53] How the law is set up against people because of who they are and why it needs to be rewritten to accommodate everybody’s needs.
[25:20] Understanding we’re more equal than we’re different.
[26:51] Why schools need to be a systemically safe place for all children despite their differences.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B shares her coming out story. She explains her experience coming out to herself at 39 years, married, and with children.

Listen in to learn the importance of being true to who you are not just for you but also those you love. You will also hear about the importance of having enough strength to bear the difficult consequences of the coming out journey.

“I want every day to be Pride day just like it doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not- you can be proud of who you’re are regardless of everything.” [22:36]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[4:27] She explains how she found out she identified as gay later in life and her coming out experience.
[7:36] The differences and similarities of coming out at a younger and at an older age.
[15:10] Dr. B reads the emotional letter she wrote to her mother after coming out to her.
[20:36] How she lost some of the power and privilege she acknowledges she had compared to others coming out.
[22:48] She reads an emotional coming out letter she wrote to her loving brother.
[27:53] She talks about her wife and the difficulties of coming out at any age.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B dives into the topic of how parenting affects child development. She describes teen parenting scenarios and why access to medical attention should be made easily accessible to teen moms.

Listen in to learn the benefits of making medicine more personal by educating medical professionals on the social determinants of health. You will also learn why you as a parent need to know more about adverse childhood experiences.

“We can really no longer afford to keep mental health and physical or emotional health separate.” [14:51]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[2:25] Why teen moms deserve access to proper medical attention like parents of all ages.
[5:35] Why infants and moms need to be cared for as a unit not individuals in the first few years.
[8:52] The importance of making medicine more personal. How to incorporate medical professionals and educate them about the social determinants of health caused by early trauma and cultural disparity.
[15:29] The importance of learning about adverse childhood experiences to be able to advocate for yourself and your community for change.
[16:28] Why you need to look at parenting differently to end trauma- stop controlling behavior with abusive techniques.
[21:07] Why as a parent you need to recognize your contribution to your children’s behaviors and find healthy ways to communicate.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about confirmation bias which is how people disregard new information that contradicts their past beliefs and decisions. She explains how it affects major decisions made by a group of people and have an impact on others.

Listen in to learn why you need to actively fight your confirmation bias and be more open to disconfirming new information. You will also learn about the importance of reconsidering the current American school curriculum due to the changes brought by COVID-19.

“We could specialize and use different kinds of professionals to mentor and teach people things that they need to know when they’re actually working in their field of study or specialization.” [20:08]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:50] Confirmation bias- when people completely disagree with information that conflicts with their beliefs, choices, or decisions.
[3:57] Understanding how confirmation bias happens in ignoring facts as long as they’re against what you believe in.
[8:05] Why we need to actively fight confirmation bias against ourselves and reorganize how decisions affecting others are made.
[9:54] How the brain fails us for failing to use contradictory information to what is disconfirming- new information.
[14:55] How COVID-19 has permanently changed the world in many sectors.
[16:24] The importance of revisiting our school curriculum to a baseline education that allows people to be in tune with specialization.
[22:42] The similarities between traditionalists and generation Z and how they’re going to recreate our future during and after the COVID-19.
[24:10] The statistics of people’s views on Coronavirus and what it means in terms of confirmation bias.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about brain chemical reactions and how they affect how the brain functions. She explains the functions of the four chemicals dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin, how they’re induced, and how they affect your daily life.

Listen in to learn how your body can manage extreme pain on its own. You will also learn the importance of teaching your kids about the brain chemicals to feel good and how they can control them to avoid mental issues.

“The cortex is part of the brain that is negotiating connections past and present so we understand what’s going on.” [10:24]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[8:06] How the cortex looks for patterns from the past and the present to make things make sense.
[11:17] How to get a dopamine kick for doing something purposeful and completing tasks. How to encourage children to do things to feel good.
[14:55] How oxytocin is our social bonding alliance- releasing oxytocin while connecting with others.
[17:38] How endorphins help the body ignore pain- helping the body to survive the trauma by managing physical pain.
[21:11] How serotonin helps you feel socially competent- the impact of serotonin in your social life and its role in mental health issues.
[23:35] The importance of understanding how brain chemicals affect our emotional wellbeing and how we can control it through practicing it and being consciously aware of it.
[27:20] Understanding the feeling of jittery, how it’s related to anxiety, and how to get a handle on it.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B dives deep into the meaning of the polyvagal system and its relations to past traumas. She explains the hierarchy connection of the body and mind and how they work separately and together.

Listen in to learn about the dorsal vagus nerve and the ventral vagal nerve systems and their functions in your body and brain. You will also hear how you can learn and grow from the polyvagal system and optimism.

“We have to find healthy ways to connect with other people to make the world a better place.” [28:46]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[2:28] Why how we react happens deep inside of our body and mind. We process the danger in the environment before being consciously aware of it.
[5:41] How our early experiences shape our perception and perspective.
[7:45] Polyvagal system explained! How the polyvagal system is attached deep into our bodies and mind.
[11:02] The hierarchy that connects the mind and the body and how it works.
[12:39] The social engagement system- it delivers information into our facial muscles that help read whether you’re in a safely connected situation or not.
[13:44] The systematic nervous system- when you can feel danger but it is unknown.
[14:50] The parasympathetic dorsal vagal system- this is when you’re presented with a life-threatening or a feeling like life-threatening.
[20:03] Why both the dorsal vagus nerve (the immobilizer) and the ventral vagal nerve are important and none can work without the other. Understanding both their functions in your body.
[26:32] Learning how to be kind to yourself over how you responded negatively to a situation, understanding why you did it, and working towards responding better.
[28:32] How to find healthy ways to connect with other people because nobody wants to be alone.
[29:24] How to be aware of a present trauma to grow and change from it through optimism.
[33:31] Learn to ask questions when someone throws you off plus finding a polyvagal partner to help you grow.
[35:37] The importance of keeping a reflective journal that allows you to reflect on the trauma differently.
[37:35] Why you should bring a group of different types of people together and the differences will surprise you.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B dives into the topic of anxiety brought by life’s uncertainties which is at this moment is COVID-19 for all of us. She explains why you may be having conflicting thoughts about the whole situation and how the brain is functioning to show you how the world is working to keep you alive.

Listen in to learn how you can create a semi-new reality about the future of COVID-19 by being optimistic. You will also learn the importance of creating meaningful conversations with your loved ones on how to manage each other’s safety.

“The uncertainty is almost or worse than just the certainty of something that is potentially negative.” [29:22]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[4:11] Understanding the concept of getting comfortable feeling uncomfortable for self-growth and development.
[7:59] The conflicting thoughts and information on the danger of COVID-19.
[15:27] How the brain is looking for patterns to give us insights on how the world works and keep us alive.
[18:18] How to maximize your environment for your survival and why the anxiety of not knowing what to expect creates more uncertainty than knowing what to expect.
[22:29] How to be delusional optimistic about the future of COVID-19 by creating a semi-new reality that will settle your panic level uncertainty.
[27:40] How to reduce the level of uncertainty about COVID-19 by having meaningful conversations around your safety with your loved ones.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about the effects of adverse childhood experiences like physical and emotional abuse on adult lives. She dives deep into an ACEs study finding that was conducted on 2300 people to determine the cause of their trauma.

Listen in to learn the relationship between drug addiction and trauma and why the former is caused by the latter. You will also learn the importance of telling your traumatic story in any form to start the process of healing.

“Drugs are an attempt at solving the problem but they’re not the problem.” [19:51]

What You Will Learn:

[0:31] Intro
[1:13] How your adverse childhood experiences can set you up for social, emotional, and cognitive impairments.
[7:24] How one experience can change your life positively or negatively.
[8:53] The effects of childhood physical and emotional abuse and neglect in adulthood.
[16:06] The adverse childhood experiences study summary findings.
[17:50] Why drug addiction is caused by unresolved, untreated trauma and not pharmaceutical industry and its profits.
[21:50] Why early relationships are the most important thing in a child’s life.
[23:38] Resiliency vs trauma even in the same family.
[25:03] The importance of having trusting and connected relationships to live your life fully.
[25:50] The importance of telling your story to disperse trauma and heal.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B dives deep into the long-term effects of emotional trauma which is brought by negative words. She explains how words are logged in and wired into babies from their fetal stage.

Listen in to learn the negative generational impact of the ‘social distancing’ phrase and how you can change that by using the right words. You will also learn the importance of quiet time for you and your little ones in creating and filtering ideas.

“We need to stay socially and emotionally connected more than ever.” [18:03]

What You Will Learn:

[1:10] Why words are powerful in how things happen in our lives. The harmful and long-term effects of emotional trauma.
[4:52] How negative self-talk can lead to generational anxiety and stress.
[7:09] Stop social distancing, physical distance instead! The stress and anxiety brought by using the ‘social distancing’ phrase.
[14:58] How words are logged in, recorded and wired into the brain from the fetal stage of a baby.
[17:59] How an entire generation is going to be traumatized due to the use of a ‘social distancing’ phrase. How to change the brain chemistry of people by using the right words.
[21:50] The preverbal and verbal period of time- how to make the connection between the two to start healing.
[23:15] The importance of sitting in the quiet to filter your ideas and feelings about it.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B looks into the psychological explanation for religious extremism and racism. She explains how people’s neurobiological functions are impacted by social influences over time to cause dysfunction.

Listen in to learn the importance of taking the Harvard Implicit Bias Test to help you determine your implicit bias against particular groups of people so you can rewire your brain. You will also learn why you need to engage in conversations that recognize extremism as functionally problematic.

“We have the capacity today to really look at our neurobiological system that’s been impacted by social influences.” [26:02]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:09] How fear in people promotes bias against the object they feel fear towards. How bias works in people.
[4:07] The process that allows the healthy brain to quickly stop making prejudiced judgments and behavior in a situation.
[8:19] The psychological explanation for racism. The relationship between brain disfunction and religious extremism and racism.
[13:42] Why you need to take the Implicit Bias Test to measure your implicit bias against a particular group and how to rewire your brain.
[18:54] How to be aware of your implicit bias and rewire your brain in order to have resilient healthy strong culturally inclusive communities.
[21:56] How to stop people with dysfunction neurological issues from running major systems that are built to protect people.
[24:44] Why we need to recognize extremism as functional problem in the brain.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B dives deep into the meaning of implicit bias and the Harvard Implicit Bias Test. She shares her experience with taking the test thrice, the different results she obtained each time and Harvard’s response to her results.

Listen in to learn the difference between implicit bias and explicit bias in both white and black people. You will also learn the importance of taking the implicit test and the individual steps you need to take to continue building a just system for all.

“We do have some work to do, but it doesn’t have to be bad, it doesn’t have to be hard, it just has to be done in order for all to live in a country where there’s justice.” [26:58]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[2:34] The Harvard Implicit Bias Test. Dr. B shares her results in taking it thrice and the different scores she got.
[8:40] The importance of knowing what your implicit bias responses are because it predicts behavior.
[9:00] Harvard’s response to Dr. B after she wrote to them about her varied test results.
[11:30] Why research shows that black people prefer explicit bias rather than implicit bias due to its honesty which is the complete opposite of what white people want.
[14:11] Why you need to take the Implicit Assessment test not only for black and white people but for other groups and take it more than 3 times.
[15:22] The importance of setting up an affinity group.
[17:04] Why you need to practice this test and retrain your brain to be less biased towards a certain group which will in turn train your behavior to be more aware.
[18:03] Read books about racism- the history of the burned down and mass graves in Greenwood village, Oklahoma that was done by a white mob.
[21:44] The need for redistribution and reorganization of how the system was set up to make it fairer.
[23:55] Learn to ask questions and get answers from real black people while integrating with them.

Relevant Links:

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about the importance of building resiliency by infusing protective factors in all communities. She explains the current disparities that exist between the African American community and the white American culture and why we need to own our privilege based on our skin color.

Listen in to learn how you can take responsibility and make an individual change by learning more history about other cultures.

“It doesn’t take much effort or even funding, it requires knowledge and a willingness to learn how to implement these kinds of innovative strategies and policies into human resources.” [21:22]

What You Will Learn:

[0:32] Intro
[1:20] The insensitive threat from the president against the Juneteenth holiday to instill fear and anger to people of color.
[6:33] How the Coronavirus has shed light on the disparities between the African American community and the dominating culture of white Americans.
[10:43] The protective factors that led to more resilience in the past and today. Why we need to own up to some privilege that we have, based on our skin color.
[13:12] How to integrate all protective factors across all communities and children to foster resilience and make things better for all of us.
[16:59] Ways in which we can offer protective factors to children.
[18:07] The importance of a loving, attuned, and supportive relationship.
[19:23] How to build protective factors in the education and curriculum sector.
[20:10] The importance of building protective factors into our social service system and healthcare.
[22:00] How you can be part of the change by acknowledging social injustices and learning history.

Relevant Links:

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

Email: contact@drbconnections.com

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about how the current civil unrest is a sign of optimism especially because people are demanding change in the middle of a global pandemic. She shares a horrific story of just a fraction of what black women and children would go through in slavery and how it justifies the anger and the need for change.

Listen in to learn what you can do as a white person to eliminate ignorance and see a community beyond the color of your skin.

“Our skin tone is just so irrelevant to the globe. What’s relevant is our depth and ability to weave ourselves together with compassion and love.” [23:55]

What You Will Learn:

[1:11] Intro
[1:37] Why the protesting in the middle of a global pandemic is the best thing that could happen.
[3:01] The horrific story of how black women were imprisoned, raped, and their children taken away at 10 years old.
[5:24] Why we need to get uncomfortable while learning the reality of the horrific black and white history that happened.
[7:03] The importance of being empathetic and compassionate towards people who endured the atrocities by reading and listening to their stories.
[9:01] How trauma is carried through epigenetically from one generation to another.
[11:13] The optimism that is reflected by the current protests in the middle of a pandemic shows that change is about to happen.
[15:18] How peaceful protests are activated by the parts of our brain that invites optimism.
[16:29] How to challenge yourself and learn history- especially black history.
[19:35] Why we need to teach our children how their actions are optimism and how they can optimistically predict their expectations.
[20:28] How to look beyond our selfishness and add people from different ethnicities to our community.

Relevant Links:

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B talks about the current debate of whether children should go back to school in the middle of the global pandemic. She answers the question ‘is it safe or crucial for our children to go back to school right now?”

Listen in to learn the importance of education and the learning process away from class. You will learn how you as a parent can get involved in teaching your child in a ‘non-traditional’ way and keep them safe.

“The idea that we’re just going to have all these kids fall so far behind doesn’t really pan out in modern educational history or theory.” [20:50]

What You Will Learn:

[1:05] Intro
[2:06] The complexity of education that goes beyond what happens in a classroom with a textbook and a single teacher.
[3:00] Why this is a time where we choose between life and learning.
[7:02] Understanding that children do pass the virus and can get it and the danger that exists if they were to go back to school.
[9:25] The evidence in major subjects that shows the danger of COVID-19 spreading.
[13:02] How we can do things creatively and differently without risking the lives of our children.
[16:01] How to teach kids how to read in 20 hours to be more efficient with their time and teaching time.
[18:02] How the 20 hours of reading model shows us that kids are not going to forget to read. And why they might forget what they were learning because of utilizing their brains in other different activities.
[21:02] How to prioritize literacy learning with project-based learning experiences at home.
[23:58] Why our lack of enough resources to handle children at home is making us want them to go back to school even when it’s unsafe.
[25:04] Why we need to enlist the corporate world into the idea that they’re part of the family and education system.

Relevant Links:

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B shares her personal story about a road accident that happened 26 years ago and how optimism contributed to her recovery. She also talks about the two sides of the brain that host optimism and pessimism and the function of each.

Listen in to learn why too much optimism can be risky and needs to be regulated to keep you safe.

“We have to be delusional optimistically- imagine what our new world is going to look like and that’s going to take an effort from everybody.” [25:22]

What You Will Learn:

[1:11] Intro
[2:33] The definition of both an optimist and pessimist.
[4:26] How Dr. B always sees opportunity even in negative situations.
[4:50] She narrates the story of a road accident that happened to her 26 years ago and how optimism worked in her during her recovery and getting back to normal.
[10:44] How being an optimist helps people recover from adversities.
[14:00] Optimism resides in the active mode of the brain that sends positive feedback from your motor movements.
[16:22] Pessimism lives right opposite optimism and makes us overly cautious and watchful about things. It minimizes the ability to be confident in our effectiveness in life.
[17:41] Why optimism has to be mediated by other parts of the brain to minimize overly risky behaviors.
[18:30] Learning how to work your optimism spirit to go past any life’s hurdle.
[24:10] How we can make our world a better place from now on by being delusional optimists.

Relevant Links:

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B dives deep into the neurological foundation of babies and how they become racially bias. She describes what research shows about babies forming their racial presence at infancy as opposed to the myth that it is taught to them.

Listen in to learn what you can do to wire your babies for the inclusiveness of people of different ethnicities.

“We can raise babies who are wired for inclusiveness of difference and can still navigate safety.” [12:36]

What You Will Learn:

[2:54] The belief that parents taught children racism implicitly and explicitly in the past.
[3:59] Studies show that children develop racial bias at infancy and not in preschool.
[9:12] Understanding that infants are going to prefer caregivers’ faces and why we need to expose babies to people of different ethnicities.
[10:01] How to wire babies’ brains to match up the similarities and differences between their loving caregivers of a particular race and with different faces of different ethnicities.
[12:03] How our brains’ bias turns into outward racism.

Relevant Links:

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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Welcome to today’s episode of Delusional Optimism with Dr. B! Today she talks about the importance of instilling resilience into our children through education. She explains the history of our current education system and why it is so flawed.

Listen in to learn the importance of a community-based education model as opposed to the institutional education model that exists today. You will also hear Dr. B’s flawed experience with our education system.

“We need humans to be dedicated to the process of growing small humans into happy healthy socially responsible loving citizens.” [16:56]

What You Will Learn:

[1:04] Why we need to redesign the US system of education to make it more about citizenship and resilience.
[3:06] She explains in detail when and how our current system of education came into place.
[6:17] Why our forefathers were emotionally impaired and more focused on building a country more than showing humanity.
[9:00] Why we need to acknowledge racism and make amends for the crimes committed against black people.
[10:28] Dr. B shares her education journey and how her resilience was challenged due to existing flaws in the system.
[12:45] She describes the ‘high performing learning communities’ research project.
[16:08] Why we need to break away from the institutional education model to a more community social-emotional protective factor model of education.
[16:15] What we need to do to ensure we’re building resilient communities.

Relevant Links:

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

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In this premiere episode of Delusional Optimism, Dr. B gets to describe herself and what it means to be both a developmentalist and a humanist. She talks about the power of resilience as part of a person’s character instilled since childhood.

Listen in to learn what congruence means and its purpose in building a system with the same values as what is taught in our homes. You will also hear the importance of learning beyond what we know and do things differently from what we were taught in limitation.

“Fairness isn’t about everybody getting the same thing, fairness is about everyone getting what they need.” [15:28]

What You Will Learn:

[1:52] Get to know Dr. B as a developmentalist at heart and a humanist.
[4:46] The power of resilience and the ability to overcome adversities and trauma.
[5:57] Why we need to do things differently and learn new solutions to change the current situation.
[8:09] The power of congruence- being valued outside the immediate presence of your being.
[10:39] How to build our systems based on the same values that we have in our families to create a more resilient society.
[14:13] The meaning behind the name of this podcast ‘Delusional Optimism’.
[17:06] How to build resiliency as a part of someone’s character from infancy.

Relevant Links:

Website: https://www.drbconnections.com/

Delusional Optimism with Dr. B: Recent Episodes

Dr. B