Rep. Jo Ann Emerson quits Congress to become a lobbying titan, the Coast Guard is funded, Louie Gohmert votes for 'lunatic', GOP confuses net neutrality, and a crisis is engineered during a short week in Congress.

Rep. Jo Ann Emerson Quits to Make Millions in Private Sector - Represents southeast Missouri: - Leaving Congress in February to become President and CEO of the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association, a trade association/lobbying group. - It has about 900 member utilities that serve 42 million people in 47 states and own almost half of the US power grid. - Replacing Glenn English (also a former Congressman) who made $9,294,207 in his 6 years = $1.5 million a year. - A key accomplishment: weakening climate bills on behalf of coal-dependent electric cooperatives. - We have to pay for a special election to replace her in Congress. - Good news: we got rid of a gay hater in Congress. H.R. 2838: Coast Guard Appropriations Bill - Already passed the Senate. - Gives Coast Guard about $10 billion total. - Orders a risk assessment (due 6 months after bill becomes law) for transporting Canadian tar sands by sea which will detail:

• How much barge, tanker, and supertanker traffic may increase.
• Whether transportation of tar sands through the Salish Sea will bring it through U.S. waters.
• A list of rules and regulations that restrict super-tanker traffic in U.S. waters and "an assessment of whether there are methods to bypass those rules."
• A list of rules and regulations that restrict the amount of oil transported in tankers and how to get around those rules too.
• Whether tar sands oil has different properties from other oils.
• A risk assessment of increasing tar sands traffic.

• "The potential costs and benefits to the U.S. public and the private sector of transporting Canadian tar sands by sea.

• The bill also includes this:

SEC. 701. LIMITATION ON AVAILABILITY OF FUNDS FOR PROCUREMENT OF ALTERNATIVE FUEL. None of the funds authorized to be appropriated by this Act or otherwise made available during fiscal year 2013 or 2014 for the Coast Guard may be obligated or expended for the production or purchase of any alternative fuel if the cost of producing or purchasing the alternative fuel exceeds the cost of producing or purchasing a traditional fossil fuel that would be used for the same purpose as the alternative fuel.

• Creates a website detailing the crime rates of cruise lines. H.R. 6620: Gives lifetime secret service protection to George W. Bush and Barack Obama. - Lifetime protection is only for Presidents who served before 1997. - Would otherwise only be protected for 10 years. S. 2367: Eliminates 'lunatic' from English language. - Rep. Louie Gohmert (TX) was the only person to vote against it. S. Con. Res. 50: Statement about the internet. Rep. Greg Walden (R-OR)(Telecommunications Industry mole) - Commitment to unregulated internet. - Attacks FCC net neutrality rules. GOP Leadership Changes Schedule, Setting Up "Fiscal Cliff" Crisis Mode - "“Only a crisis- actual or perceived- produces real change." - Milton Friedman - House only worked 3 days this week. - House has cancelled work next Friday. They will only work Tuesday-Thursday at 3:00pm. - Eric Cantor warned members to plan to work the week of December 17th, even though they were supposed to be done by the 14th.