In part two of our series on Better Emotional Intelligence, we cover the final two components of EQ, empathy and managing emotions in others. We share tips & tricks, do a live role playing exercise, and finish with what experiments we're going to try and report back on for improving our own EQ.

Show Notes

• 2:20— How empathy relates to emotional intelligence and the role of curiosity in developing empathy.
• 5:55— The difference between extreme empathy and practical empathy.
• 9:40— What is active listening and how to use active listening to build your empathy for others.
• 14:20— We discuss a tactic to teach empathy to children by giving them responsibility for caring for a plant.
• 18:52— Ian challenges March to model both the good and bad versions of active listening.
• 24:57— Why going into “problem solving mode” when engaging with your significant other is not an empathetic response.
• 30:29— March offers a tip for challenging oneself as a way to build empathy for others.
• 32:22— We explore what it means to manage emotions in others and why that isn’t always a manipulative behavior.
• 34:24— Tactics for learning how to manage others’ emotions including noticing others’ behavior and being mindful of the way you phrase questions.
• 39:02— Ian and Darren share their experiences from a time when they each had to use emotional management tactics to calm down someone who was extremely upset.
• 42:55— How Scott Pelly from 60 minutes uses the phrase “I wonder” to open up his interview candidates.
• 46:40— What is “non-violent communication” and where can it be useful.
• 51:12— March shares a tip from the Gottman Institute called a “love map” to understand more about what they care about.
• 52:25— Ian decides to work on avoiding going into “problem solving mode” in his conversations with his fiancee.
• 53:46— As part of helping test a training course for non-violent communication, Darren is going through the exercise of caring for a plant to increase empathetic awareness.

Mentions

• 📰 Article: How to Become an Effective CEO: Chief Emotions Officer (Tim Ferriss Blog)
• 📰 Article: Daniel Goleman (who popularized the idea of EQ) piece on emotional intelligence
• 📺 Documentary: Won't You Be My Neighbor
• 💻 Website: Center for Non-violent Communication
• 📰 Article: Caring for Living Things Helps Kids Build Empathy
• 📖 Book: Books from The Gottman Institute
• 📖 Book: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

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