Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth right now, in these days, all grounded in a Catholic worldview. This podcast is about transformation -- a radical transformation of self, overcoming anything that gets in the way of us loving God our Father and Mary our Mother with the trust and dependence of a little child. This podcast is all about real love in real relationships and it's messy. I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide. This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor -- This is episode 47, released on December 21, 2020
Continuing to illustrate shame and related concepts with stories
Now we are going to look at an story of intense shame and redemption.
Really focus on understanding what happened in his life
Teaching you to recognize parts in other, parts in yourself
Understanding parts really helps us grow in the understanding of ourselves and others
Socrates: Know thyself
Discrete, autonomous mental systems, each with own idiosyncratic range of emotion, style of expression, abilities, desires views of the world.
Exiles --
shame. Need for redemption
Protective, strategic, controlling environment, keep things safe 2. 1. Obsessions. Compulsions, reclusiveness, passivity, numbing. Panic attacks, somatic complaints, depressive episodes, hypervigiliance. 3. 1. Firefighters
Stifle, anesthetize, distract from feelings of exiles 2. 1. No concern for consequences 3. 1. Binge eating, drug/alcohol use, dissociation, sexual risk taking, cutting 4.
Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley 2. 1. We call it blending. 3. 5.
Self defined as the seat of consciousness
But to reap the benefits they have to unblend from and notice the self 2. 1. This is frightening can challenging to parts 3. 1. Agency in the parts -- parts are making decisions about unblending in IFS model
Curiosity 2. 1. Compassion 3. 1. Calm 4. 1. Confidence 5. 1. Courage 6. 1. Clarity 7. 1. Creativity 8. 1. Connectedness 9. 1. Kindness
Boldness, self confidence Overconfidence
Manager Part. 2. 1. Fisherman who owned his own boat
A part that wants to be big. 2. 1. Have to make quick decisions 3. 1. Dangerous occupation 3. 1. Respected in Galilee, a leader 4. 1. Courage, Fortitude 5. 1. Leads to forgetting the teaching of Jesus 6. 1. Established, married. 7. 1. Defends against a shame exile. 8.
Man of action 3. 1. Courage here too 4. Trusted his instincts. 5. Capable of intense emotion 6. Driven by that emotion
Seizing opportunities as they arise
Manager Part 2. 1. Strong sense of duty. Responsibility. 3. 1. Manager Part 4. 1. Aware of his sinfulness, his weakness. A familiar part 5. 1. Peter examined his conscience 6. 1. Motivated to repent -- can experience grief. 7. 1. Need for integration
Depression is not his thing. Anger not his thing. Control and anxiety
When it is desperate. Unlike Judas. 2. 1. This part is small and willing to be rescued. 3.
Bold manager part -- self confidence
Stories are so important
Really enter into Peter's world, see Christ, see the world through his eyes
Jesus calls Peter
Matthew 14:18-20: 18 As he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon who is called Peter and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. 19 And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 20 Immediately they left their nets and followed him. 2. 1. Mark: 1: 16-18: "immediately" 3. 1. Luke 5:1-11: While the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he was standing by the lake of Gennes′aret. 2 And he saw two boats by the lake; but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. 3 Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat. 4 And when he had ceased speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” 5 And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” 6 And when they had done this, they enclosed a great shoal of fish; and as their nets were breaking, 7 they beckoned to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. 8 But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” 9 For he was astonished, and all that were with him, at the catch of fish which they had taken; 10 and so also were James and John, sons of Zeb′edee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; henceforth you will be catching men.” 11 And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.
Matthew 14:22-33 2. 3.
22 Then he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was many furlongs distant from the land,[a] beaten by the waves; for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. 27 But immediately he spoke to them, saying, “Take heart, it is I; have no fear.”
28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; 30 but when he saw the strong wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “O man of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Peter declares that Jesus is the Christ
Peter is rebuked by Jesus
Mark 8:31-33 31 And he began to teach them that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32 And he said this plainly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him. 33 But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter, and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not on the side of God, but of men.”
Mark 9: 2-8 2 And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves; and he was transfigured before them, 3 and his garments became glistening, intensely white, as no fuller on earth could bleach them. 4 And there appeared to them Eli′jah with Moses; and they were talking to Jesus. 5 And Peter said to Jesus, “Master,[a] it is well that we are here; let us make three booths, one for you and one for Moses and one for Eli′jah.” 6 For he did not know what to say, for they were exceedingly afraid. [DRA: They were struck with fear; NASB and ESV: They became terrified] 7 And a cloud overshadowed them, and a voice came out of the cloud, “This is my beloved Son;[b] listen to him.” 8 And suddenly looking around they no longer saw any one with them but Jesus only.
Peter and the washing of feet
John 13:3-9 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper, laid aside his garments, and girded himself with a towel. 5 Then he poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which he was girded. 6 He came to Simon Peter; and Peter said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not know now, but afterward you will understand.” 8 Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part in me.” 9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!”
Peter's Denial foretold
John 13: 36-38 36 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered, “Where I am going you cannot follow me now; but you shall follow afterward.” 37 Peter said to him, “Lord, why cannot I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” 38 Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the cock will not crow, till you have denied me three times.
26 And after singing a [l]hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. 27 And Jesus said to them, “You will all [m]fall away, because it is written: ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ 28 But after I am raised, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.” 29 But Peter said to Him, “Even if they all [n]fall away, yet I will not!” 30 And Jesus said to him, “Truly I say to you, that [o]this very night, before a rooster crows twice, you yourself will deny Me three times.” 31 But [p]Peter repeatedly said insistently, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” And they all were saying the same thing as well.
Luke 22:31-34 31 “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you,[d] that he might sift you[e] like wheat, 32 but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail; and when you have turned again, strengthen your brethren.” 33 And he said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” 34 He said, “I tell you, Peter, the cock will not crow this day, until you three times deny that you know me.”
Peter in the Garden of Gethsemane
Matthew 26: 51-56
51 And behold, one of those who were with Jesus [t]reached and drew his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest and [u]cut off his ear. 52 Then Jesus *said to him, “Put your sword back into its place; for all those who take up the sword will perish by the sword. 53 Or do you think that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve [v]legions of angels? 54 How then would the Scriptures be fulfilled, which say that it must happen this way?”
55 At that time Jesus said to the crowds, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest Me as you would against a man inciting a revolt? Every day I used to sit within the temple grounds teaching, and you did not arrest Me. 56 But all this has taken place so that the Scriptures of the prophets will be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples left Him and fled.
32 They came to a place named [q]Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here until I have prayed.” 33 And He took with Him Peter, [r]James, and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. 34 And He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and [s]keep watch.” 35 And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began praying that if it were possible, the hour might [t]pass Him by. 36 And He was saying, “Abba! [u]Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.” 37 And He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not [v]keep watch for one hour? 38 [w]Keep watching and praying, so that you will not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 39 And again He went away and prayed, saying the same [x]words. 40 And again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy; and they did not know what to say in reply to Him. 41 And He came the third time, and *said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? That is enough. The hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is being [y]betrayed into the hands of sinners. 42 Get up, let’s go; behold, the one who is betraying Me is near!”
43 And immediately, while He was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, came up, [z]accompanied by a crowd with swords and clubs who were from the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders. 44 Now he who was betraying Him had given them a signal, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the one; arrest Him and lead Him away [aa]under guard.” 45 And after coming, Judas immediately went to Him and said, “Rabbi!” and kissed Him. 46 And they laid hands on Him and arrested Him. 47 But one of those who stood by drew his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest and [ab]cut off his ear. 48 And Jesus said to them, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest Me, as you would against a man inciting a revolt? 49 Every day I was with you within the temple grounds teaching, and you did not arrest Me; but this has taken place so that the Scriptures will be fulfilled.” 50 And [ac]His disciples all left Him and fled.
Peter's Denial
Luke 22:61-62 61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.” 62 And he went out and wept bitterly.
Crushing shame. He went out. He didn't stay. He withdrew, he hid.
P. 207 Seeing in vision how Peter denied his Master three times, Mary wept and prayed fervently for him, and her prayers earned him the grace of an almost immediate repentant. Suddenly the door of the hall opened, and Peter rushed out, weeping bitterly. In the glare of the torches, he recognized John and Mary. His conscience was already deeply stirred by the penetrating look which Jesus a given him and now he trembled as the Blessed Virgin said to him: “Oh Simon, what about my Son? What about Jesus?”
Being unable to speak or to endure Mary’s questioning eyes, Peter miserably turned away. But Mary approached him and said in a voice choked with emotion: “Simon, are you not going to answer me?” Then Peter exclaimed: “Mother, do not speak to me! Your Son is suffering cruelly. They have condemned him to death – and I have shamefully denied Him three times!”
As John came near to speak to him, Peter ran off and made his way to the cave on Mount Olivet. Because of his perfect contrition, Mary obtained that God should soon forgive him, and she sent one of her angels to console him invisibly.
P. 220 John met Peter coming to the Cenacle after having spent the night weeping and repenting in a cave near the Holy City. They found some of the Apostles and went to the Cenacle. Peter alone went in to see Mary first. Falling at her feet, he said the sobs of intense sorrow: “I have sinned, Lady. I have sinned before my God, and I have offended my Master and you!” The Blessed Virgin knelt beside him and said: “Let us ask pardon for your guilt from my And Your Master.” Then she prayed for Peter and reminded him of the Lord’s many acts of mercy toward great sinners and of his own obligations as head of the apostles to give an example of strength in the Faith.
Peter and the Resurrection
Healing
John 21:1-19
After this Jesus revealed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tibe′ri-as; and he revealed himself in this way. 2 Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathan′a-el of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zeb′edee, and two others of his disciples were together. 3 Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat; but that night they caught nothing.
4 Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the beach; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. 5 Jesus said to them, “Children, have you any fish?” They answered him, “No.” 6 He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, for the quantity of fish. 7 That disciple whom Jesus loved[b] said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his clothes, for he was stripped for work, and sprang into the sea. 8 But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, but about a hundred yards[c] off.
9 When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish lying on it, and bread. 10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred and fifty-three of them; and although there were so many, the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish. 14 This was now the third time that Jesus was revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.
Jesus and Peter
15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16 A second time he said to him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.[d] 18 Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go.” 19 (This he said to show by what death he was to glorify God.) And after this he said to him, “Follow me.”
Wrap up