Richard Martin and I went to New Orleans Thursday via a gambling junket. It is a pretty neat package and very inexpensive. For $99.00 we each got a round trip ticket to Biloxi Mississippi, two nights in a very nice hotel. Also included is transportation to and from the hotel Casino Magic and the airport, and meal tickets for their fabulous buffets for three meals. Any time you are in the casino you are waited on hand and foot with complimentary drinks ( I wonder why) and Bay St. Louis is only an hour’s drive from New Orleans. We rented a Dodge Stratus for $20.00 per day and drove to New Orleans on Friday.

We drove around the streets and I admired all of the French iron work decorating the battered balconies of the overcrowded upstairs housing. It looked like something from a movie set. It is hard to believe people can live so closely crowded together and under such poor conditions.

Parking was just non existent as were things like plants and flowers. The trees were much like our grandfather oaks here with their gnarled and twisted branches. The drive from Bay Saint Louis to New Orleans was worth making the whole trip for. An hour of driving along pristine beaches complete with sand dunes and sea oats on the south side and beautiful homes of every sort of design, but mostly the Victorian I love so much on the north side.

The weather was the kind you would custom order and yet only two people were taking advantage of a nice brisk walk on that entire length of beach. The shrimp and oyster boats were lined up on the horizon and the sun was like diamonds on the lapping tide. There were numerous docks, some leading far out into the Gulf, but most were deserted except for the occasional fisherman. This is the sort of place I could pull off the road and run as far as I could run, gulping in the salty sea air; running until all I could do is walk and then I would walk until I could walk no more. What greater reward then but to flop down in the sugar white sand and take in the beauty all around me until the moon would rise up over the water and the stars would pierce through the black velvet sky?

Richard Martin wanted to go shopping at Goodwill and Hudson’s (a little discount store) and as always we argued over dressing to look like every other yuppie or showing some sense of individualism. Fortunately we were able to carry this argument further than before and Richard Martin said that he recognized that he is argumentative and that he really enjoys a battle of wits, provided “it reaches some sort of resolution.”

I take that to mean, as long as I always tell him he is right and he gets the feeling that he won. He claims that he could be wrong, but I really find that to be no more than lip service based upon past discussions. I do enjoy arguing and don’t take his approach as hard as I did initially. I admitted to him that I will argue just for fun as long as I am not stressing him out, but that I am not inclined to believe that all issues will have a resolution as many things are just a matter of personal opinion.

We talked about the heavy stuff that we often do whenever we are alone together. I told him that I believe I am the best thing that will ever happen to him, but if he isn’t capable of recognizing that and seizing the opportunity, then perhaps he is not the best thing that has ever happened to me. He said that he wanted to be cautious because he wants to be sure before jumping into a relationship that could really hurt him. He said that because he chose to be with me this weekend, his relationship with Zena was pretty much over with.

I don’t believe it, but I didn’t tell him so. He’ll prove me right or wrong. When we got back to the room there was a message from the desk saying “Meir Lansky will take care of this” and a message on the phone that sounded like a woman impersonating a male gangster saying” Meir Lansky will get you for this”. I thought the person was saying Myra and didn’t know what to make of it, but Richard Martin says that Zena has some low life gangster relative named Meir, who is supposed to be as unconscionable as Capone. It bothers me the way people make Mafia out to be some glamorous society for protecting the ways of their people. They are nothing but criminals with enough stolen money to stay out of jail.

Richard Martin says he shouldn’t have told Donna where he was going and seems to think it was Larry that called and not Zena. I would like to know why Larry would feel compelled to threaten for Zena’s sake when he is the one who keeps telling Richard Martin he should tell her about me rather than continue to lead her on into thinking that she is in a monogamous relationship. This bothers me too. If he would lie to her, then what would keep him from lying to me? I have had it with lying, cheating men.

I’ve told him twice now, there are only two things that I can’t live with. One is infidelity and the other is him trying to control my family. I’ll tolerate his impositions because most of the things that are a big deal to him are of no consequence either way to me. I can be the chameleon if that makes him happy, but no one is going to demand that from my family. He says he would not cheat on me, once committed, which he warily has not, and that he would not impose himself on my family. I don’t think I am asking a lot, but I do think that for him to do so is giving a lot because it is so in his nature to try and manipulate and control everything and every one around him.

I asked him about what it was like to be a bachelor for as long as he was. He said it was great and that he never would have changed it of his own volition because it was so nice to call up a woman and have her come spend the night and then he may not see her for a few weeks and he would call someone else who hadn’t seen him for a while and they would be so happy to see him that they would have a great time.

This sounds like the life so many men want and I asked what changed his mind to marriage. He loved Susan but she wouldn’t live with him without marriage because of the influence on her daughter. He didn’t want to lose her entirely and agreed to get married because he felt she had left her husband to be with him. I wonder how much of this was her planning and how much of it was coincidental? I also don’t understand, if this was planned, then why did she bail out? What was so lacking or so awful that she would go through the last two years in court to divorce him? I hope to find out before it is too late. I really want this to work and I can make most anything work, but I don’t think I have all of the information yet.

I met Ian Anderson, the lead singer with Jethrow Tull a rock group from my era a couple weeks ago. He was playing at Ruth Eckerd Hall and is an avid cat person. He has traveled all over the globe visiting cat refuges and sanctuaries. He really liked our operation based on a global comparison and I felt good about that. His favourite cat is the Tigrina and he knows Pat Quillan and her work with those little guys. He liked Nirvana and had several pictures made with her, and Enya the Cougar and Takoma the Bobcat. He said we can use his image and his endorsement of us in our advertising if that would help.

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.

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Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.