Howie First Looks at the Business To See How He Can Help

Thank you for a most memorable evening. I will never look at "cat toys" the same again.

At 07:59 AM 12/16/02 -0500, Carole wrote:

I was really pleased with the following figures. I had to compile them for the Combined Federal Campaign renewal that I just did and thought they may be of interest to your friend, as it shows tremendous growth during a time when many non profits and for profits have failed. The year is obvious. The next number is the number of families that have actually visited WOES. We only fill out one release form per family, and often if we recognize a person, we don't have them fill one out if they come back within 4 years. Some people are there every month. The dollar amount is the amount donated by the general public in each of those years. For the years 1999, 2000, 2001 and 2002 there was one 10,000.00 donor in each year. The next highest, one year was 7500.00 with everyone else below 2000.00. That averages out to 89.00 per family.

1996 34 $32,280.99

1997 159 $97,848.20

1998 1683 $176,258.15

1999 3565 $189,456.21

2000 4271 $314,738.00

2001 4982 $322,249.00 due to 9/11

2002 4382 $400,012.00

We are in the black by about 800.00 for 2002 for the very first time. Each figure below represents how deep in the red we were for each corresponding year.

1995 164,290.09 loss

1996 154,254.01 loss

1997 149,094.80 loss

1998 222,373.80 loss

1999 101,556.50 loss

2000 281,524.00 loss

2001 34,778.00 loss

2002 800.00 profit

As you can imagine, I am just ecstatic. I have to donate 125,000 to 150,000 every year for tax purposes, but now that means that the money I put in can go into expanding our programs and doing so much more good than just supporting the animals that I have already taken responsibility for. I expect 2003 to be a terrific year for promoting compassion in our community.

Our supporters come from all over.

Total number of families 19,076

From Tampa 4276

From FL, but outside Tampa 9268

U.S. outside FL 5286

Outside U.S. 246

The more I learn about your life the more in awe I am of the struggles you have endured. Like your cats, you are a survivor, maybe against the odds given what you have had to handle.

This is excellent! Do you happen to have a way to easily know how much of the donations were from attendance, i.e. people donating when they visit, versus ones like the $10k that people send in unrelated to a visit?

No. We have a cash box that gets counted down every week, but no breakdown between tours, gift shop items, etc. We began keeping inventory records this year, so that we can go backwards to calculate the value of things "sold" (we call it a donation, so the prices vary). This still doesn't help with knowing much about where the income is from. Jamie was able to track 90k this year from gift shops "sales" and adoptions and memberships. Jess is working on creating some software for us to help. Blackbaud charges 10k for their program. Tracking this information would help us and is on the short list of things to do.

I had the impression the sanctuary started 10 years ago? Did it start in 96, or was there no visitor program or no records from before then?

We started in 1992 with the rescue mission, but didn't allow visitors until 1996. Don was always dragging home people and showing off his collection and then one day someone said, "you know, you could charge for this"...

We were writing it off our taxes each year and the IRS said we had to make it profitable or else become a legitimate non profit, so I applied in 1994 and was accepted in 1995. It took me three times because I didn't know what I was doing. We had virtually no volunteers prior to 1995. Don, Jamie and I took care of feeding, cleaning and vet care for over 200 animals by ourselves. Don called it being semi retired, but I found it cause for a nervous break down every two years. That is when I would drive to the Keys, and lay in a hammock crying for 3 days straight before coming home to face another two years. I haven't done that since 1997.

In 1992 we began in November and only rescued the one bobcat at a cost of 680.00

In 1993 and 1994 my secretary kept track of the receipts which meant she kept them in a bag, called "animals". When I totaled them up they came to 101,555.97 and since there was no income, that was our expense. It was in 1997 that I compiled these and didn't break them down by the year nor category.

In 1995 I began tracking categories, such as vet bills, food and shelter, etc.

Do you have a breakdown of how this past year's funds were spent?

Yes. Do you have a fax number? My mother tracks this with a program that I don't have on my computer (NoteSmith) so I can only get the report by fax. It is only one page, but a lot of detail.

Dear Howie

My reason for sending you Concentration Camp was two fold. One, you expressed an interest in the phenomenon and the other was to justify my existence. The latter, of course, being the more compelling. The line from Deserata, that I most associate with the song, is "you have a right to be here." I have never felt that and always believed that I had to justify my right to be here. Thus the classic overachiever attitude.

My nature is to bond with one person and be the power behind the throne. The greatest compliment that I ever received was from a fellow investor who told me that she saw Don as being "larger than life". A newscaster recently used that term about me, but it wasn't as meaningful to me as the compliment that the investor had given. I love the challenge of rescuing someone, or something (WOES) and turning that into something that people look up to and want to emulate.

My choices in men have been such that I can perpetuate this illusion of being loved, when in fact, I was merely needed. I could live out this fantasy and turn a blind eye to much of what was real unless inescapably confronted with the truth. When I hired the bounty hunter to find my husband, and all he found was a long list of Don's lovers, I couldn't ignore the truth. It took me four months and the mysterious disappearance of my husband to fire my friend and secretary, Anne. I didn't want to believe that people I loved could do this to me.

When I met Peter, in November of last year, he was living in a garage, had no job and I thought I had met my soul mate. I had never used that term and never believed in the concept until the first letter I read from him. I met him via Match.com on AOL. From the first night we were together, he moved in. He was a Chiropractor and Acupuncturist but had licensing problems, as I explained before. He was able to cure some life long problems that I have had with pain and he introduced me to books that I found to validate so much of what I knew to be true about the power of the mind, but didn't know other people had experienced. He had dreams of what he wanted to do change the world and seemed like the perfect person for me to get behind.

I took over all of his bills, sent him to contractor's school because he couldn't fix his licensing problems, and supported him entirely. He asked me to devote myself to him alone and I did from the first day. Three months later, I walked into the office in our home, and he was writing a letter to a woman who had sent him a nude photo of herself from Match.com. I recognized the logo on the screen as I walked into the room. He is as deaf as they come, so I stood there, read the letter over his shoulder, and then walked out without saying anything to him. He didn't know I had been there.

A few days later I asked if he was still using his dating subscription and he denied it. A few days later, I confronted him with what I had witnessed and he said that it would never happen again. I didn't believe him, so I created an account, using a photo I pulled off the Internet of an attractive woman, and a profile that I knew would appeal to him and immediately got a response asking me to see him. I continued corresponding with him to see how far he would take it and in no time he was trying to arrange a motel rendezvous. I created several such "people" to be sure that he was not just in love with this one I had made to order for him and by April I had intercepted 32 solicitations for sex from him.

I am surely not that stupid; I was just that much in love (or codependent) with him and wanted some evidence that he loved me. From January to April, I often asked him if he felt that we had moved in together too quickly and suggested if he wasn't sure about us, that I was patient and would be willing to have an open relationship. He insisted that he wanted our relationship to be monogamous. In April I told him what I had done and that I had intercepted 32 of his emails asking other women for sex. I told him the free ride was over and that I wanted him to move out.

He wouldn't go. He asked me to allow him to take his contractor's exam first so that he would have a trade to support himself and that was in June. I agreed. He called me from Miami when he was taking the 3 day exam to tell me he would not be moving out, so while he was gone, I packed up his things, put them in storage and paid up the bill for the next two months. I put his personal effects in an RV that I had, set it up in a park and paid the rent for the next couple of months, so that he would have a roof over his head. I even paid for a phone line so that he could continue looking for a woman online who would take over supporting him.

I had involved him in a real estate deal and even after moving him out, continued to correspond with him because there is 117,000.00 at stake there. Jay Baykal didn't want me to have any contact with any man from my past and insisted that I walk away from the real estate deal. Peter's "help" with the deal had resulted in him being sued, and I had been protecting him with legal counsel, so I told him to use the real estate proceeds to protect himself because I would not be able to continue helping him. When Jay Baykal and I broke up, Jay called Peter and told him. I wouldn't have.

Peter had found a woman in Sanford, whose husband was in jail and he was living with her. The husband was soon to be released, and Peter was looking for a place to live. He never said, but my guess is that he sold the RV. He had discounted the 117k deal to 35k to get out of the legal mess he had caused, but couldn't get the deal to close and asked me to step in and make it happen for him. I have been paying him to come take care of my pain issues with acupuncture, once a week, but have done it more because he needs the money than because I need the relief.

As his time draws to a close where he is, he has been putting increased pressure on me to let him move back in. I was seeing him once a week or once every other week, but believed that if it were not for the money he wouldn't be coming here, and told him so. He is afraid now that I won't give him the money from the real estate deal and I have been wrestling with that, since the only contribution he has made was to screw things up, but that is an entirely different matter, regarding ethics. I would like your input on that, because of your high standards, but fear I wouldn't trust your advice because you will probably tell me what I expect to hear.

Friday he asked me why I was content to be so far from him, which loosely translated to, "why can't I move back in?" This was the question that precipitated the meditation. The vision illustrated that I give of myself to others, to the point of starvation (for love) and that I entrap myself in these situations where I feel like a victim. The escape from the concentration camp depicts my feeling of freedom for the first time in my life. It is scary out here on my own. I don't know where I am going. It is cold and lonely. But I am ecstatic at being free from this self destructive pattern.

I don't know how to be single and worse how to maintain it. In the past I would commit to the first man that crossed my path and asked me to, and that has never been good. The reason I feel the need to justify my existence is because you are different. You are strong and self-sufficient. You are capable of taking care of yourself and it spills over to the way you take care of those around you. If any man ever deserved the devotion of a good woman, it is you. Being with you is such a pleasure. There is no down side, no trade off or nor compromise. It is just wonderful.

You haven't asked me for a thing and are such a departure from what I have come to expect as the norm, that I don't know how to behave around you. It would do no good to tell me to be myself, because my "self" has always been merely the reflection of what the man in my life needed me to be. I don't know how to remain free of the patterns of the past, other than to not do what I have done, repeatedly without success, before. If I continue to date others and resist becoming too emotionally involved with you, then it is different from what I have done before. Who knows if that is better, but at least it is different.

When you say that these are not tough acts to follow, at some point you are bound to wonder why, with all that you are and all that you do, aren't you the center of my universe? If any man in my life was worthy of such adoration it is you. The only thing that holds me back from that is the past and not wanting to repeat it. It hurts to feel that what you are and what you give is not appreciated and I wanted to let you know that I do recognize what a unique individual you are. I felt compelled to justify what must seem like my profound blindness in not acknowledging your value.

On another note, I have been musing all morning about your view of yourself at a distance and how that can put things in perspective. I have always been egotistical and prideful, and think those to be negative attributes, but never thought about how detrimental they are to the spirit until you commented how issues of acceptance and rejection are tied to the ego. You are right and that is very insightful. As I practice the exercise I am painfully aware of how insignificant anything I am trying to do really is. I don't find that comforting, but I can see how it could make specific problems seem inconsequential. The most valuable lesson I am learning from your words is that there is great benefit in doing the right thing for the right reasons, without concern for how it affects me or the way I am perceived. There is a lot more to it than that, but I can't quite articulate it yet.

Interesting that Sydney was living out my fantasy, but at a different time than when I was thinking it. On the way home last night I was thinking about your offer to let me sleep over. I was thinking what a nice gesture that was on your part; but that to do so would involve me crawling all over you all night and not letting you sleep. I didn't want you to think that your offer was not appreciated, since I seemed to blow it off with an observation on traffic patterns. I know that I would be laying on you or hovering over you watching you sleep and that come morning I wouldn't be able to leave you alone. (While that may be nice on occasion, you could find it a little obsessive.) Spending the night is how all of my cohabitation nightmares have started and I really want this relationship with you to remain good. For now it is best if Sydney live out my fantasy for me. Perhaps she and I could exchange some remote viewing and sensing! ? I will chase squirrels here for her.

I sense that you are understanding and patient and I am thankful to have this opportunity to come to know you. I am fully enjoying the experience. Carole

16 Dec 2002 08:10:09

You asked: "If you were able to raise additional money, what would you do with it? Is there room to build more cat-a-tats so you could house more cats, or would it go for other purposes, and if so, what would they be?"

The problem of surplus exotic cats cannot be cured by building more cages. As long as the public will pay to see a cute new cub at the zoo, or will pay to see animals perform, or will pay to have someone drag a cat on a leash into a school or civic hall, or will pay to buy one as a status symbol, or will pay to have their fur, there will always be more cats needing refuge than all the sanctuaries in the world can handle. Changing the world's perception of the value of an animals' life is the only way to end the abuse. If we can do that, then all life will be perceived as precious and therein is the answer to all our woes.

This is where most people interject, "You can't change the world!" To which I want to know, "Why not?" Is there anybody out there who doesn't want to live in a world where people respect each other and care for each other? Even the most evil of humankind responds positively to kindness when it is lavished upon them. Changing perception is a big challenge, but not insurmountable because the end result is something that everyone wants.

Any money we can raise over and above the needs of the existing animals on Easy Street should go toward education. Public perception is often molded by peer pressure. Smoking used to be portrayed as cool and to reverse the trends in children the campaigns were launched to portray the kids who didn't smoke or use drugs as being the ones who were cool. It worked. The same approach works for the fur industry and the groups who are against it. The side with the most influential media campaign sets the standard. Groups such as Cirque De Soleil show us that we can be mesmerized and entertained without calling for the suffering of non human animals. I was mightily impressed with Land Rover's ad depicting the owners of an expensive Range Rover on their way to the opera stopping to rescue a stray dog in the rain.

Anything we can do to promote responsibility toward animals and each other leads us to our goal. The cats on Easy Street reach people with the message more effectively than any other medium I know. So many times I have heard men, who had been dragged there by their wives, say that they had been hunters and that after having petted a bobcat they could never pull the trigger and end the life of such an incredible animal again. I cry saying that, because it is that sort of awakening in man, that touches me so deeply. We are all one.

So many people think they want them as a pet, but they come out there and see cage after cage of animals that didn't work out and they hear the stories about the owners selfishness that resulted in the animals being abandoned. I have received countless letters and calls from people who said they always wanted a tiger as a pet, but after learning what it is really like and how the animal usually ends up, they were glad they didn't buy one. In truth, I think they realize that they don't want to change their lives for an animal and that they would be the ones perceived as selfish if they dumped the cat, so it no longer appeals. Whatever the motivation, I am always happy to hear that they changed their minds.

At the beginning of the tours people are always yapping about the performance they saw some big cat do in Las Vegas until they see the results of the animals that wouldn't perform. With just one visit, perceptions start to change. 98% of the people who answer the question on the release forms, say that they heard about us through word of mouth. The money best spent in changing perception is in getting more people in front of the cats, with qualified guides, who can help tell their story. We are, first and foremost, for the animals in our care, a sanctuary. With that in mind, the increase in traffic will always have to be done in such a way that the animals see it as beneficial.

Our Big Cat Expedition accomplishes that. It is an experience people cannot get anywhere else. It generates 1/3 of our income and most importantly, the cats love it. Sitting in a cell all day for a crime you didn't commit would make any animal crazy. The interaction the cats get with guests and with keepers and the stimulation to learn new behaviours is the high light of many of the cats' days. Participation in this activity is limited only by our ability to make people aware of its existence. We have begun plans to incorporate the local hotels in bus trips for their guests to WOES for this "keeper for a day" program. We cannot house more than 4 families overnight (1200.00 per day at full capacity), so we are hoping to utilize the local hotels bedrooms to increase visitation. We have 200 animals in need of enrichment and typically, at full capacity we have two tour groups handling no more than 6-8 cats each. There is a huge opportunity for expansion here.

With 200 animals, that is 25 sets of 8 animals each. Without the cabin portion, each visitor is paying 100.00 per person. If the tour groups were limited to four guests and one handler, that generates 400.00 per set of 25 or the potential of 10,000.00 per day. Current expenses are under 1000.00 per day. We are spending all day with these people, as opposed to a two-hour tour, so we can fully indoctrinate them with the issues the animals face and what they can do to help.

I rather like the concept of using the problem to cure it. This sort of exposure and income then starts to be capable of making a much bigger impact. We can lead by example and help other sanctuaries do the same thing. As long as we stay pure to our goals, and put the animals needs first, we can reach a much broader cross section of the country. We belong to an accreditation group called, The Association of Sanctuaries. It is a regulatory group that only gives its stamp of approval to refuges who do not breed, sell nor exploit the animals. There are less than 50 such qualified facilities in the U.S. and we are the only one in Florida and the only one nationally that specializes in cats. I would propose that any group instituting such a program subject themselves to the policing of TAOS to insure the quality of life for the animals and the conformity of the message we are trying to convey.

I would like to see a lot more money go into outreach programs, including schools, colleges, library programs, summer camps, and video productions for the increasing television market that now has entire stations dedicated to animal issues. Our school system is not equipped to teach anything about conservation, responsibility nor making intelligent choices. I wish to infiltrate that system with programs that we can provide for free because all the knowledge in the world is useless if we can't breath the air nor drink the water because no one ever taught us that we can make that difference.

When I ask my volunteers why they work in the bitter cold, washing out water dishes with their bare hands or in the sweltering heat, shoveling poo they invariably say it is because they are making a difference. We all have that need, at varying levels, and it is money well spent to show people that we all have that ability by making responsible choices in how we spend our money and our time.

As public perception begins to shift, we can drag the Neanderthals of our society along for the ride, by encouraging laws that protect the animals from cruelty, canned hunts, fur farming and the like. We need better laws, stricter penalties and more money devoted to enforcement. No More Homeless Pets is another project that is a self curing promotion. As we reach people with Why it is necessary to spay and neuter their pets and Why they should adopt from shelters, rather than support breeders, we are instilling the fundamentals about respect for life that will ultimately heal the situation.

SAFEinTheWild (Saving Animals From Extinction In The Wild) is near and dear to my heart, and is what the name implies, but it is pretty far down on the list of important things to do. I support several projects on a limited basis and would love to make a huge impact in time.

I am so happy with the progress that I have seen in our society over the past few years that I have been aware. The changes for the better are more dramatic with every passing year. I apologize for inundating you with far more information that you have time to read. I want to thank you for asking because it has been helpful for me to take stock in where we are and where we are heading.

Have your earrings and we forgot the Lion donations. Will hold for next rendezvous.

Subconsciously am I always leaving something to have an excuse to come back? Hmmmm.

I just got a note from Anissa, our Educational Director saying that someone from Raymond James is donating 10,000.00 to our educational program. They have never even seen our facility, but are coming out on the 29th. They said they found us on the Internet.

Food for thought: With all the work you are putting into presenting us to the friend of your friend, can you duplicate it and make a living from it? I have heard that grant writers can make a very good income and that is, I believe, based on performance, which naturally would mean that WOES would benefit tremendously, thus relieving an enormous burden from my shoulders... Something to think about before you commit to a 9 to 5 somewhere.

Jamie told me today that Ringling asked her to prepare a letter about WOES that they are sending to 1,000 people who will be attending their pre-show by invitation only. The letters gives them the option of letting their 10.00 ticket price be donated to us, or just go the circus. I thought this was pretty clever on Feld Entertainment's part as it will let them know what the percentage of their invitees think of as being important. If they had any doubt about the benefit to them of promoting us, this should show them it is a great move.

MOSI is coming out for their second tour in the past month and they say they are excited about the opportunity of joining forces with us. They wanted to do an IMAX movie here, with a crew of 600, and I said that isn't going to happen just yet, so they want to come out and run something else by us. So many exciting things are happening!

There are 16 parcels that I am going to bid on tomorrow, so hopefully I can pick up a few. It is very rare that there are so many good ones. All of them are vacant lots though and nothing too terribly exciting. I hope your "short project" is challenging and rewarding for you. Kiss the cats for me.

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.

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Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.