Howie Anticipates the “Jamie Test”

At 07:11 PM 12/30/02 -0500, Carole wrote:

Dear Howie, I am in awe. I feel like I am moving in slow motion through a dream and it feels

marvelous! I often think, when reading books, that the author felt a need to flesh out a predetermined number of pages and that if they just kept it to the important stuff if would be much more helpful. Your summary of the book gave me a feeling of insight into you that I found very comforting. It also gave me the heart of the message in a very condensed form. Interestedly, it took me all day to read it, because I had to sit and reflect on virtually each sentence to fully experience the idea. Perhaps that is the reason for all the seemingly unnecessary verbiage in books; so that we have time between the thoughts that challenge us for our minds to think they are doing something?

I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I am increasingly amazed at your depth of understanding and your ability to focus. What impresses me most is the way you have incorporated your learning into your everyday life. You make it appear effortless and, while I am sure it is anything but easy, that is the mark of any expert. I hear it in your speech and the way you talk about others and life's experiences. There seems to be a constant awareness of, and acceptance of, your inner essence and that of others. I see it in the tranquility that you exude whether you are driving, talking, amusing me and even in the heat of passion.

Perhaps especially in the heat of passion. Sometimes I get so caught up in the moment that I lose touch with everything outside of my physical pleasure. (Your body has that effect) It is only when I start to reconnect to the room that I notice how peaceful your expression is. It draws me in and enfolds me in your serenity. It is like sharing a warm fuzzy blanket with you.

There is an innocence and gentle strength about you that brings tears to my eyes. They are the kind of tears that you would shed at the sight of a glorious sunrise, or at the sound of the wind in the trees, or in the feel of sand between your toes, or the interaction of a doe and her fawn. It is the overflowing of gratitude for having witnessed something truly beautiful. You are such an inspiration and your friendship is such a blessing.

Movie and dinner sounds great. I "started" this morning and am not in a tremendous amount of pain, so I don't anticipate being any worse by tomorrow. Apparently the acupuncture from last month is still effective. I have heard there is a good Chinese Acupuncturist in St. Pete. I need to get over to see him before next month. I have been a little cranky and emotional, but not nearly as bad as usual (without the treatment). I stood in the kitchen and balled my eyes out yesterday at a poem that one of my volunteers wrote about the life of a stray cat. Rosie always makes me cry though. She is just the dearest, most sensitive little Native American Indian. She cried the day she graduated from red shirt to yellow shirt and had ALL of us crying with her.

Glad to hear you can make it on the 3rd. Jamie and Daniel rescheduled their vacation so that they could go, so you will meet some of my blood kin. Daniel is one of the funniest people you will ever meet and Jamie is sure to like you because she has an uncanny ability to see through to the heart of a person.

30 Dec 2002 13:30:15 -0500 From: Howard Baskin

I'm sorry you are one of those for whom this time of month is so difficult. Hope it will not be too bad, and again, if you find yourself not up to it tomorrow just let me know.

Look forward to meeting your troops Friday and Jamie and Daniel in particular. I guess we'll see if I pass the "Jamie test".

There is also a pair of Chinese female acupuncture doctors here in Tampa who have a good reputation if you ever want to try. Dr. Leyun Shao is the one I saw some years ago. On Virginia Ave. by St. Josephs. 877-9626.

30 Dec 2002 20:42:18 -0500 From: Howard Baskin

You really write beautifully.

I agree that some non-fiction books seem to either have a lot of filler or be repetitive because to publish a book is expected to have a minimum number of pages. But even when that is not the case, i.e. when the explanations and examples are good, I still find that summarizing it down to the key points is the only way I will remember it. I envy people like Mary. She can reel off from memory the 10 key points of some book she read 20 years ago. If the devil showed up and offered me that ability, I'd really have to work to hang onto my soul I think.

On applying this stuff, we each have our mountains to climb. For me, the search for tranquility has been driven by historically feeling the opposite, in quantity and intensity, that exceeds what most people experience and is unpleasant and unhealthy, usually tied to "performance" and "acceptance". Finally in later years I've managed to have many more minutes of peace, and lower the frequency and intensity of the unsettled times. But believe me, it is hardly effortless despite appearances. Pain can be a very effective motivator. We have discussed this relative to our backs, but it applies to many kinds of discomfort.

The awareness of the present, the concept of "minutes" etc. I think are great tools. They don't work automatically (or maybe I have not gotten good enough at them yet). But I do find they can help a lot. Today I felt kind of down about some things that were bothering me. It would have been easy to wallow in it. Once those feelings start, they tend to feed on themselves. It took repeated effort pull out of that feeling. Like pulling your leg almost out of quicksand and then finding that as soon as you get distracted from your effort it starts to slide back in. But, by repeatedly reminding myself of the power we have to influence our mental state, by repeatedly focusing on the "precious present moment", taking stock of blessings, asking why I was allowing myself to rack up bad minutes, and doing that repeatedly even when it did not seem to be working, with the confidence that if I persisted it would, by this evening I was much closer to being back to what Vipassana (the meditation seminar) beautifully refers to as being "equanimous". The point being that these thoughts are not magical instant cures, but I think they can help us create more times of peace, and with belief and persistence they can be valuable tools when we find ourselves unable to maintain our peace.

People generally take for granted things they have always had and are never deprived of. I think it is easier for me to value moments of peace and put effort into achieving it because I have often not had it. It is funny sometimes how this works on little things. When I grew up, because our means were limited on my mother's secretary salary, there were some little things that we watched carefully. Orange juice was expensive, so we each got one small glass. The first time I saw someone slug down a huge glass of orange juice, to me it was like watching them set fire to a $100 bill. To this day, when I order a large orange juice, I feel rich and extravagant. In fact, I think I will go pour myself a big glass right after this email.

Changing subjects, I hope you are still feeling only the lower end of your discomfort, if any. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow (but again, if you are in discomfort please let me know and we can change or cancel as needed). Assuming you feel ok, would you like to plan for an early movie, like 5 ish, so we can eat by 8 ish? If so, I'd plan to come by around 4 or so with a meal to reheat later. But if other time frame works better for you, I'm flexible.

On movie choice, there are a couple that have caught my eye. The one I had in mind, About Schmidt with Jack Nicholson, I just realized does not open until Friday, so is not an option . Analyze That, the comedy sequel to Analyze This with Billy Crystal and Robert De Niro, could be nice light entertainment. I enjoyed the original. I like 007 even though this one got mixed reviews, but that may not be your first choice. Previews of Catch Me if You Can with Dicaprio and Hanks look like fun. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings would be next choices. All are playing at Citrus Park if that is closest to your place? But the times vary a lot, which may affect our pick:

Analyze That 4:25; 9:45 Catch Me 4:30; 7:10 007 7:25 Potter 3:40; 7:15 Rings 5:30; 6:30; 7:00

Open to other suggestions of course. And we could also eat early and do one of the 7-7:30 shows instead of the early show.

Sooooo, your thoughts? Any leanings toward one or the other, or some other one you see playing?

Dear Howie, I am sorry that today was a challenge for you, but it was good to hear that you were able to work your way through it with the skills you have learned. It's like hearing someone's diet success in the way that it inspires me to pay attention. Your notes from the book have helped me to separate myself from the pain today and to remember that the pain is not me and that I don't have to experience it. I even completed a taxing workout without succumbing to self pity, when I will typically beg off.

I am not as enamored with the writing style of the fellow who wrote, "How To Be Happy..." but I agree with his philosophy whole heartedly, in that we create our experience. If I only had one "tattoo" it would be that reminder.

As for movies and times. I like the idea of an early movie. Veteran's is actually a little closer, if their times are better for you. Either place works for me, since you will probably be driving. As for movies; I saw Catch Me with Jamie and Daniel and it was good. If it is your top choice, I barely remember it and could watch it again. I also liked the original Analyze This and would suspect the sequel to be good. I fell in love with Sean Connery and I fear there will never be another "Bond" for me. (The first time I got drunk was while baby-sitting and watching one of his Bond flicks. The kids told me the stuff in the fridge was punch. We drank the whole pitcher. I had never tasted alcohol and didn't know any better. I was snockered, and quite "in lust" with Connery by the time their parents came home and told me it was Tequila.) I do like the toys in the 007 movies! though. My dream car is still the Batmobile from the 60's. I could hardly stay awake through the first Lord of the Rings. So, based on all that, the ball is back in your court. - Carole

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.

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Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.