What Women Want

The day after giving him a laptop for his 53rd birthday. Dell 5100 Inspiron weighs 7.22 pounds, has a 30 gig hard drive, 2.4 GHz, 14.1" XGA TFT Screen, 384 MB, 56K modem, 24X CD-RW/DVD Combo Drive, True Mobile wireless Broadband Router, Office XP, Extended 3 year warranty with free 24/7 tech support, USB200 Advanced port, Mini PCI, MS Money 2002, Jukebox, Office XP and a wireless mouse (because I just hate putting a mouse on a leash).

Dear Howie, I am the one with the ego problem. I have never been able to let others do things for me. I have to disassociate myself from the cats to ask for help there and have to keep telling myself that people are doing it for the animals and to fulfill their own need to do something noble. I know that what you do for the cats, you are doing for me and that your sense of leaving a mark is tied to what you do for people and not so much for the animals.

Knowing that has made me feel uncomfortable because as much as I need and want your help, I cannot let you do that for me, because of my own overdeveloped sense of pride. You have indicated that I can pay you at some time in the future, but meanwhile you have invested an inordinate amount of time and thought into helping me that I have felt powerless to repay. Perhaps I am not as observant as you, but I cannot think of anything that I can do for you to show how much I appreciate what you have already done for me.

I am not going to take ALL of the responsibility for this inequity ;-) You seem to have a very hard time assessing value to your ability. This has been my meager attempt to repay a debt that I consider to be far greater than the price of a computer. This thing wouldn't even cover 10 hours of your time and you have spent that much on helping me in less than 2 days. I don't even know what your shed cleaning rate is, but it's got to be more than sitting at a desk ;-)

I don't mean to diminish any of the feelings you have and I am especially sensitive to you feeling kept. This is probably what it at the core of freaking my family out whenever I am in a relationship. I change to accommodate the person because my sense of self has always been in reflecting those around me. Whatever is your desire in life becomes mine and gives me a sense of joy to be helping you have whatever it is that you want from life. You have told me that your desire is to make me happy and that caught me off balance, because I am still not certain how to help you help me, without me feeling that this is all about me, when it's my nature to want to make it all about you. The more I learn about the reasons I behave the way I do, the more capable I am of being myself, but that person is still a bit of a mystery to me.

I feel bad for you that I am so attached to this place, because I realize how strange that must feel to you to come here. It is made worse by the stigma caused by what others may say or think. The only saving grace is that when your friends see the place they can understand that it is about the uniqueness of the property and not the opulence of the home that makes the island the undeniable best choice of locations. It just can’t be duplicated. Frankly, your address is far more prestigious than Town N Country, which has reputation of being blue collar. Nonetheless, I do realize that you have had to make a considerable concession with your own pride, for a man who is so capable of taking care of himself, to agree to come here just to make me happy. I think that alone speaks volumes about your own inner strength.

I also appreciate the way you just come right out and say what is on your mind. You do it in such a polite way, that I often wonder if I caught all of what you were trying to say. Some of the things you have had to say were probably very hard, or uncomfortable for you, but you have had the wisdom to know when it needed saying and the courage to say it. I admire that. I apologize for tear-ing up on you, because that has to make things so much harder on you, but I cry easily (as you have undoubtedly figured out by now). Jews used to hire professional mourners, and I always thought I would have been in high demand. When Alan’s father died (a man I had met once) I was the most distraught person in the room. No one knew who I was and later it was told that they all assumed I was the mistress.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. Below are the details on the laptop so that you can think about what you want to do. With laplink it is so easy to synchronize computers that you might do well to keep this and buy an extremely small and portable one that you just synchronize before and after trips like a PDA. That way you still have the benefit of the CD burner for back ups, the larger keyboard and screen for home use and the portability of something ridiculously small for the road. Whatever you choose to do is fine with me.

WHAT WOMEN WANT!

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered

him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the priests, the wise men, the court jester.

He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, only she would know the answer.

The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first:

The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had!

Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable.

The honeymoon hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him!

The astounded Gawain asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.

Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?

What a cruel question!

Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch?

Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do?

What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read it until you've made your own choice.

Make YOUR choice BEFORE you read Gawain's answer!

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?

The moral is: If your woman doesn't get her own way, things are going to get ugly

Howie writes to Carole 5/14/03 :

For all our joking about "nothing in common", we are alike in many of the most important ways. It should make it easier for us to continue to get to know each other (and ourselves as we see that reflection of ourselves in each other) and to hopefully understand each other.

I talked to Dell for a bit. Did not explain the situation, just inquired as if new purchase. I think the 600m is very good alternative. In addition to lower weight, it has longer battery life and the wireless is built into the centrino chip instead of added (although I have heard some conflict about if this is better). Want to spend a little time on the specs and options before making the switch. I will pay any differences.

Do you know what the process is? The guy I spoke to said they pay shipping on returns, but I did not ask about exchanging.. I wonder if it is simplest to send the other one back and order fresh vs. swap, but maybe they can handle latter. There are also a couple of discounts they say are based only an online order, so not sure if calling to switch affects that. Anyway, we can talk about it later.

Thanks VERY much for this spectacular gift and the wonderful thought and intent behind it! Howie

Carole writes to Howie 5/15/03 :

I found a home for Chester the Chausie Bengal Cat with Don Machen 907-7396 who lives in New Tampa and works for JP Morgan. He is 50, lives alone, has no other pets and loved it when Chester would bite him. They will be good for each other. Now Howie can bring Sydney and Crystal and put them on the back porch so that they are safe from Maya (my other Bengal cat).

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.