Letters to and from Lynn:

Lynn to Carole: I’d love to hear what your dream was about, if you care to share. I'm curious. The other dreams you've had lately, was the productivity they offered connected to BCR, personal or other business?

Peace River is not as nice as BCR, plus the gal who runs it is high strung & very stressed. Her energy would be tough to be around and would drain my energy. I visited another facility last week and have two more I'm seeing this week. At this point, I'm just exercising all my options and praying for the Universe to place me where my mission can be best served. I'll tell ya what... I'm sick of this phase. I just want to get to work. There's soooo much to do bridging the honor/respect gap between human & beast. Lynn

Carole to Lynn: The dreams in general have just been much more grounding and centering; sort of a reminder of who I am and what I am capable of when I don’t let “reality” get in the way. I often dream that I am flying, but lately the dreams have been sort of testing my limits; how high, how fast, how much can I control the situation. The rest of the dreams have been similar in that they have just been a reminder that I create everything around me and I can make it into whatever I want it to be. It has been very empowering but not terrible specific.

In the dream about you there was travel on trains and to theatrical performances that seemed to be set the time around the turn of the century. I was listening to one opera singer (someone earlier in the day had suggested that opera should be allowed to go extinct and should not warrant government grants to preserve it) talking about how the music connected them to who they were. I was trying to understand this phenomenon that is foreign to me and perhaps because of your great love of music, you rather burst into the scene. I was sitting at the table with this performer and you came up from behind and quite smothered me with a hug that said, “Hello old friend, I have been looking through this life time for you.” As I turned to see who you would be this time around, already knowing from your embrace and your aura that I have known you forever, I saw that you were still tall and very beautiful, but much more full bodied, as women were then. You were wearing a long, apple red gown and red gloves up past your elbows. You were vivacious and full of life in what was otherwise a rather dark time of rather puritan ethics.

I don’t remember what you said. It didn’t matter. I knew what you were saying which was that we all find our own way. We all connect back to God in different ways. We all have different talents and are using them to the best of our current possibility. Those who seem to be so stuck in the mire of their own dramas are great inspirations to others who are even less evolved. Some are violins, some are cymbals, and some (like you) are grand pianos. Life is a beautiful symphony and each of us plays a part. You will find the rest of your band. Carole

Lynn to Carole: Are you familiar with the song "From A Distance" recorded by Better Midler? If not... you'd like it. It's a wonderful musical adaptation of your "Life is a symphony" sentiment. I talk about this song in my book, specifically one line of its lyric: "From a distance we are instruments, marching in a common band, playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace, they're the songs of every man."

What a nice thing to say, that I'm a grand piano. I see you as a concert harp, delicate yet very strong.

I'm aware of C.A.R.E. but intuitively felt that this is not the right place for me & SS. The task of finding the right place for me & SS is quite a challenge. The facilities that would allow me in, such as Horseshoe Creek & C.A.R.E., are not the standard I want to work in. The facilities that are an excellent standard, won't allow me in. As with zoos, hands-off facilities feel human contact to be a stress on an animal, especially if it has been abused in some manner. This is absolutely true, if the human engaging in contact is uneducated. I am well educated in such things. As with a human that's been emotionally or physically neglected or abused, isolation isn't the cure. Socialization and love is the only rehab that breaks through walls of defense. Receiving love, in the form of touch, is the best enrichment there is, no matter what species, human or beast.

Yes... I guess part of me is still trying to sell you on me & SS, but I also know the animals at BCR are love starved. This is why so many of them came running to greet me, why Maya responded to me the way she did, and why Cherokee (I think that was the Bobcat's name) talked to me. If you won't let me enrich your animal children with the love they are craving, I know you have it in you to nurture them mind/body/spirit in this manner. Lynn

Carole to Lynn: My favourite instrument is the harp. Thanks, and I do like the song, From a Distance.

It is because the animals are so love starved that they are so dangerous. Raindance tried to pull me through the wire as I was inspecting a cut on her chest from outside the cage just yesterday. I have seen it happen frequently. The animal asks for attention and when they get the opportunity to latch on and pull they do, with every intent of bringing you in through the hole in the wire. They aren’t being mean. They really just want more. I have had the same problem from inside the cage where the cat refuses to let me leave. I have worked with them for a decade and know that there is no limit to their need. I cannot fill them up and all of the volunteers and guests that we previously allowed to shower them with affection are never enough. It breaks my heart that the cats are so hungry for something that I cannot provide to them without risking their lives.

If they bite anyone they have to be killed and tested for rabies. The state can demand it and it just isn’t worth the risk. Perhaps their lives of starving this way are worse than death, but I just can’t bring myself to expose them to other’s hands and other’s varying levels of understanding. I really loved the idea of Shaman Safari as I thought it would be teaching people how to reach outside of themselves and connect with others. I could see this sort of training benefiting my volunteers who have been denied the access to touch the cats as a way that they could reconnect and have the closeness that they feel they have lost. Only you know how Shaman Safari will evolve, but I find it interesting that you quote the song: “From a distance…” A Freudian slip of the lyric I wonder? - Carole

4/11/04: Howie and I were having dinner with Dick and Anna Marie Nimphie, the Lexus dealership owner here in Tampa the other night and Howie told them about his first realization that he was in love with me. He had told the story several times about the blood pressure, but never said when that was. I could only estimate from the things I knew about, like the dye in his blood and was stunned that he knew to the day.

He started out by telling them that on January 19, 2003 he wrote in his diary that he thought he had met the woman that he wanted to marry.

While getting groceries he stopped at one of the self test blood pressure machines and was at the border line of needing medication. He had tested his blood pressure because he was feeling queasy and light headed and felt like his heart had been in his throat all day. His blood pressure was always perfect before and never altered at all, so this was cause for alarm.

His doctor put him through all the tests and couldn’t tell what was causing the condition and even went so far as to have dye injected into his blood and in a freezing room (kept that way for the machinery to run right) he had to have his entire, shivering body scanned. There was a picture on the wall of a wedding and his blood pressure was bordering on exploding. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him.

In true medical fashion, after all of the expensive tests had been exhausted, the doctor finally asked Howie if there had been a change in his life and Howie said that for the first time he thought he was in love. Once he said it out loud the symptoms began to subside.

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.

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Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.