Divorce University Online: Recent Episodes

Thomas & Tammy Ferreira

Divorce is a life event that hits every aspect of your being: financial, emotional, physical, and mental. At Divorce University Online our mission is to give you the tools to navigate your divorce in a way that allows you to create the life of your dreams and helps you continue to succeed in your post-divorce challenges.

Top 5 Accusations in Child Custody Court - Episode 348 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Accusations abound in child custody court but we typically see a few issues that appear repeatedly. In this episode, I'll discuss the 5 most common ones that I see and how to navigate them in the courtroom. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Ways Narcissists Manipulate Children - Episode 347 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Narcissists have a long list of ways they manipulate children. In this episode, I'll discuss 5 of the most common ones and give you tips on how you can counter these manipulative techniques in an effort to protect your children and your own sanity. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Can ChatGPT Solve Your Child Custody Issues? - Episode 346 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. ChatGPT can be a great tool and many of my clients rely on it for everything from communication with their ex, to organizing the large volume of documentation and even preparing court documents. I've also had many clients, after extensive use of ChatGPT, start to realize the things that it doesn't do well. Courts are also becoming more aware of and sensitive to ChatGPT and I've seen Judges go as far as ordering a party not to use it. So, it's important to understand what it does well, what it does not do well, and to always remember that it is simply a tool. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Keys to Success with a GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) - Episode 345 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I'm going to giving keys to succeeding in your interactions with your children's attorney. Different states have different names for this, it's most frequently called a GAL, which stand for Guardian Ad Litem, a BIA, which stands for Best Interest Attorney, or Minor's Counsel. But regardless of the name, the keys to success are the same. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Surviving Custody with a Narcissist - Episode 344 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Surviving Custody with a narcissist or any other high conflict personality without losing your sanity is all about developing the right strategies. For examples, the more conflict, the more specific you need to be in your interactions and your court orders. In this episode, I’m going to give you six strategies to help you survive and succeed in custody with a narcissist. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

2 Types of Family Law Attorneys - Episode 343 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most Family Law Attorneys have one of two approaches to how they handle cases. One of these approach makes you feel better emotionally and usually makes clients feel really seen and advocated for but it’s not necessarily the “winning approach” for your case. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Coldplaygate - Episode 342 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. A recent social media post from a Coldplay concert went viral. It was a video of a couple who were having an affair and attended the concert together, only to end up on the “kisscam”. Ironically, their reactions to being on the screen gave away their secret. Affairs are painful and devastating for everyone involved but many lessons on divorce, child custody and building your future can be learned from these situations if you choose to use them positively. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Destroying Your Ex Does Not Win Your Case - Episode 341 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Family Court hearings are typically full of all kinds of mudslinging in both directions. Since we are in an adversary system and most people experience the law as “guilty vs innocent”, this may seem like a logical approach. But a Family Law Judge doesn’t think in terms of “guilty vs innocent” so trying to destroy your ex in court doesn’t necessarily solve your problems. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Core Foundations in Child Custody - Episode 340 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. There are core foundations in child custody that apply in almost every case. These principles will give you more success in your case, regardless of your situation and regardless of where you are at in the timeline of your case. Even if you’ve done these things poorly in the past, you can turn your case around but applying these techniques today. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Retaliation in Child Custody Court - Episode 339 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When Narcissists win in Court, they often become emboldened and when they lose, they want a rematch. Often, that means retaliation against you that results in constant court hearings and chaos. Does the Court even care about retaliatory motives? Listen now to find out. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

In Episode 338 "Were You the One Doing Everything?" we will discuss how I often hear clients say they “did everything” in their relationship. What you may not realize is that doing everything is a trauma response. People who “do everything” also frequently over-commit , struggle to delegate, mistrust others, are perfectionists, and are reluctant to ask for help. Hyper-independence is a way of avoiding needing on others in order to avoid being hurt. It also makes you the perfect target for a narcissist.

What You Say V. How You Say It (In Court) – Episode 337 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people get very focused on the “what” part of the information they want the court to know. Much of my work as a coach is teaching people “how” to say the things they need to in a way that will resonate with the court. I’m going to give you 5 examples of what vs. how and then share 5 key principles to help you apply these techniques to your own examples. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Trauma Bond with a Narcissist – Episode 336 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Trauma bonds are created through a biochemical reaction in your body similar to addiction. So, it’s no wonder we have trouble breaking free, long after the relationship has ended. We often continue on the emotional rollercoaster that is a relationship with a narcissist. How do you know if you have a trauma bond and what can you do to break it? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Common Legal Traps with a Narcissist – Episode 335 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I’ll discuss five of the most common traps we see narcissists use to try to gain the upper hand in Court. Understanding how the narcissists weaponize these traps and what steps you can take to prevent them is crucial to your success against them in your child custody case. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Exposing the Narcissist’s Abuse – Episode 334 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Parents are often concerned about being able to expose narcissistic abuse from the other parent. In this episode, I’ll share tips to help you gather the information you need to help you expose the behaviors. I’ll also talk about how to present the information in a child-focused way that succeeds and not in a narcissist-focused way, which almost always fails. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Self Love is Key to Ending Toxic Relationships– Episode 333 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The toxic patterns of a narcissist-codependent relationship don’t magically end just because the relationship ends, especially if we have to co-parent with the narcissist. The same unhealthy dynamics continue t until we do the internal work that is required to develop self-love and break our unhealthy relationship patterns. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Presenting Your Child Custody Case – Episode 332 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Whether presenting your case to the court or another expert, one of the big mistakes people make is they talk about their case using words that are open to interpretation or by using feeling words such as angry, upset, etc. There is a very simple technique you can use to present your case in a way that will help the Judge to get a clear picture of the situation and make the labor of presenting your case easier for you. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Coercive Control by Narcissists – Episode 331 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. Several states have recognized coercive control as a form of domestic violence. Narcissists use coercive control to interfere with the free will of their partners and these behaviors carry over into custody issues after separation. There. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Narcissists Want a Rematch – Episode 330 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. So, you finally made it through your court process and have your orders. Now, you’ll have some peace, right? If you’re dealing with a narcissistic or high-conflict person, that’s not the likely scenario. They frequently want to appeal or want a rematch at the next possible date, which means court over and over again. I’ve seen people spend years in and out of court. There are key strategies you need to implement to help protect you and your children from future requests for modification of your orders. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Court-Ordered Custody Mediation Against a Narcissist – Episode 329 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Mediation is required in most states prior to going to court on custody issues. But, mediation can look very different depending on where you are located. In this episode, I’ll break down the different types of mediation to help you know what to expect and then I’ll share some basic success principles for negotiating with a narcissist. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Narcissists Jumble Your Brain – Episode 328 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Being clear headed to make good decisions is critical in child custody cases, especially in the early stages. Ironically, this is when most people experience the most brain fog and emotional disruption due to the breakdown of the relationship. In this episode, I’ll share tips to help you “unjumble” your brain and help you increase your ability to make good decisions and regain emotionally clarity. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

When Life Gives You Lemons – Episode 327 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We all know the phrase When Life Gives You Lemons……….Make Lemonade. But when you lose your primary relationship, are away from your kids, are financially destroyed, or just stuck in a pit of grief it can feel nearly impossible to pull yourself out of that hole. In this episode, I’ll share some short-term and some long-term strategies that have helped me move through grief and find healing on the other side. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Parenting Plan Blueprint – Episode 326 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you have a narcissistic or high-conflict co-parent then the components of your parenting plan and the level of detail becomes critical. In this episode, I’ll break down the major components of a parenting plan and share some of the details that are most commonly added in high-conflict cases. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Navigating a Broken Court System – Episode 325 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents feel like our Court system is broken. The system is definitely overloaded and is run by humans, so it doesn’t always get things right. In this episode, I’ll talk about the weaknesses in the system, why they exist, and how best to navigate them. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Types of Court Hearings in Child Custody – Episode 324 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I’ll talk about some of the common court hearings we see in child custody cases. Different hearings have different agendas, sometimes there is live testimony, sometimes not and sometimes it’s just to “check in” with the court about various parts of the process. Understanding these difference can help you to confidently navigate the court system. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Strategies to Stay Centered with a Narcissist – Episode 323 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. A narcissist will do all they can to keep you “off center” emotionally. It makes you easier to manipulate. One of the first steps in regaining your power after this kind of toxic relationship is to learn to keep your emotional center no matter what they do. This takes time and practice given that you’ve been conditioned during the relationship but it is possible to break the emotional hold the narcissist has over you. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Red Flags of a Narcissistic Co-Parent – Episode 322 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I’ll give you five common red flags in child custody that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissistic or high-conflict co-parent. Understanding what you are dealing with is the first step to solving the problem. I’ll also share 3 tips to help you combat these red flags. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

3 Ways Narcissists Condition You – Episode 321 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We have unknowingly spent our entire relationship with the narcissist being conditioned. This conditioning results in continued behaviors even once the relationship is over. They become the same tools the narcissist uses to manipulate you in co-parenting your children. I’ll give you three of the most common in this episode. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Common Ways Narcissistic Co-Parents Manipulate – Episode 320 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. There are patterns of behavior narcissists use to manipulate people. We’ll talk about 5 of the most common ones seen, particularly in co-parenting and one simple technique you can use to greatly reduce the effectiveness of the narcissist’s manipulation. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Change of Circumstances in Child Custody – Episode 319 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most states require a “change of circumstances” for a parent to apply for a change in the current custody orders. Some states also have a minimum timeline to file for a modification unless there is some danger to the child. Change of circumstances can vary but there are a few issues that tend to be the most common and I’ll share some of those in this episode. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Episode 318 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Learning to successfully navigate custody is similar to learning to play chess. You need to understand strategy and learn basic tactics before you can advance your skills. In this episode, I’ll give you seven strategies to help you level up your custody game, regardless of what stage of the game you’re at. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Does it Help Your Case When the Other Parent Lies – Episode 317 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The vast majority of clients complain about the other parent lying. Many times we feel like this should be an obvious key to our success if we can prove it. But, like everything else in the child custody system, it isn’t always that simple. In this episode, I’ll break down how it can be helpful and why other times, it’s not. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Fighting a Corrupt Child Custody System – Episode 316 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you walk out of Court over and over and are not happy with the outcome, it can start to feel like the system is rigged or that you’re dealing with bias. And, that may be true. But, whether it’s true or not, in order to succeed, you need to know how to navigate the system in the appropriate way. Attacking the Court or the experts in your case is only likely to compound the problem. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Child Custody Is Never Fair – Episode 315 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Fairness is our inherent expectation from the justice system. Anyone new to the child custody process quickly becomes disillusioned when they realize that fairness is nowhere in the equation. And how you conduct yourself in light of this realization can make or break your custody results. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Your Attorney’s Agenda in Child Custody – Episode 314 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Complaints about attorney’s frequently come up in conversations about child custody. Some of this is because attorneys are inherently bad at explaining things in simple easy to understand language for clients. And some of it is because clients are so uninformed about the entire legal process, not to mention the emotional process that goes along with it. In order to get good outcomes, you have to be able to work WITH your attorney, not against them and that starts with understanding their thought process. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

The Power of Poise – Episode 313 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Maintaining poise is an overlooked advantage in child custody. The ability to maintain poise can give you credibility with the Court, help you to gain a mental advantage over your ex, and help you feel more empowered in the process. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression so let’s get it right the first time! To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Pacing When Communicating with a Narcissist – Episode 312 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Pacing is a great technique that I rarely hear talked about in communicating with a narcissist. It can slow their attacks, stop the incessant arguing and best of all, put you back in control of the conversation. Pacing can also bring peace to the chaos if you can learn to use it effectively. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Should I or Shouldn’t I – Episode 311 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I often get asked by clients if they should or shouldn’t bring up a concern or something they are worried about regarding their coparent. Does it make them look difficult? Does it matter? Will the Court care? In this episode, I’ll give you some criteria to help you know if you should or shouldn’t and more importantly, how to address it once you decide you should. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

When the Narcissist Texts You: The Anxiety and Chaos Inside – Episode 310 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We all know that feeling, when you see your narcissist’s name pop up on your phone or when you get a message notice and you are immediately triggered. Your emotional world starts spinning out of control and you haven’t even opened the message! The familiar patterns kick in and you’re sucked back into the emotional vortex. If this sounds familiar, this episode will help you break free! To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

My Ex Is the Problem – Episode 309 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I get it, I have an ex too and yes, many times our ex causes all kinds of drama and problems that effect the kids. But, if you go into Court trying to convince your Judge that your ex is the problem, things probably will not go well for you. Often, after about five minutes of talking with someone, I can tell why they aren’t succeeding in Court. It’s not the information you’re sharing that is the issue, it’s the way you are sharing it. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Legal Custody Disagreements – Episode 308 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a narcissistic co-parent, legal custody issues are often difficult to navigate. If you are unable to reach agreement then filing in Court becomes the necessary step to resolve issues. But, that obviously gets very expensive and very stressful. So what are your alternatives? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

It Takes A Village – Episode 307 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We’ve all heard this expression especially when it comes to the physical labor of raising children. But your village is just as important to the emotional support of both you and your children. So, who should be part of your village? And how can you ensure that you are leveraging your village for maximal positive benefit for your children? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

What Is Your Priority? – Episode 306 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your priority your ex or your kids? Now, I think any parent would say, the kids of course. But we often, unintentionally, communicate to the court and other experts that our ex is the priority. This happens through the behaviors we exhibit and the language we use not only with our ex, but when we speak to the court and other experts. In this episode, I’ll give you tips to help ensure that you are community that your priority is your children! To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

It's the Little Things – Episode 305 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, it’s often the little things that become the most frustrating. I’ve seen many clients who come out of Court and realize many of the details of their situation did not get addressed. And even when they do get addressed, a narcissistic co-parent won’t follow the orders anyway. So, you’re left with all the small daily aggravations that drive you insane. So, what do you do? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

When Your Child Refuses to Go – Episode 304 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Children refusing to transition to the other parent can become a very problematic issue in child custody. We tend to see this more frequently in the teenage years but I have seen it happen even with young children. Sometimes, it can be so severe that a child will self-harm if forced to go. However, the Court expects the parent, not the child, to be in charge. So, you must learn to strike a delicate balance of supporting the other parent while also ensuring your child’s safety. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

How to Feel Certain in Child Custody – Episode 303 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We tend to feel certain about things that are familiar. But the entire child custody process is full of unfamiliar things. And, to boot, if you’re coming out of a narcissistic relationship, you’ve probably been stripped of the ability to trust yourself, which only adds to your uncertainty. In this episode, I’ll explore how you can create more certainty for yourself and your children in this process. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

The Enormity of the Tedium – Episode 302 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time. I’m sure you’ve heard that joke before but it’s no joke when you are dealing with the overwhelm that comes from the family court process. In this episode, I’ll help you understand some of the tedious aspects of court and give you my key to learning to manage the enormity of the tedium. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Determining What Is Important in Child Custody – Episode 301 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the biggest struggles I see for parents is understanding what is and isn’t important to the Court in your child custody case. What seems logical to us is not always what is important to the Court. Parents often focus on whether they are a better parent than the other person, or the other parent’s history, or how the other parent has behaved toward them. We are essentially looking at the situation through a moral lens, but the Court looks at your case through a legal lens. To succeed, it is critical that you understand the difference. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

The Narcissist is the Key – Episode 300 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I know, you’re thinking the key to what? We often think of all the negatives that come from having been in a narcissistic relationship: the trauma, the frustration, the ongoing parenting conflict, and the list goes on. But like any trial in life, there are also positive things in your life that the narcissist is the key to. In this episode, I’ll help you do a reframe so you can reap some of the rewards of having survived this toxic relationship. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Custody is a Marathon, Not a Sprint – Episode 299 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The Courts have both short-term and long-term issues to resolve in custody cases. When cases start of with a “bang” like a domestic violence filing or emergency orders, the Court is looking at short-term issues. When the outcome is unfavorable to us, we often panic and begin doing things that sink us in the long-term issues. In this episode, I’ll discuss these two perspectives and help you avoid the pitfalls. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

You Are In Charge of Your Child Custody Case – Episode 298 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you’re in Court it’s easy to feel like everyone else is in control, your attorney, the judge, the experts and that you have no say. You actually have the option to advocate for yourself, even if you have an attorney, if you know how to navigate the process. In this episode, I’ll share tips to help you increase the chances of success in your case. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Trust the Process – Episode 297 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Trusting the process can be very difficult, especially when you have a negative outcome in your first interaction with the Court. Many times, our own emotional patterns work against us in trusting the process. There are reasons that the Court does things in particular order and in a particular way. Understanding that will help you feel less anxious and more confident in presenting your case. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Expectations vs Reality in Child Custody – Episode 296 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are dealing with child custody issues, we have expectations of our children, our co-parent and most of all the Court. But when our expectations don’t match reality, we end up feeling all kinds of negative emotions like frustration, anxiety, depression, anger, sadness, and the list goes on. Shifting your expectations to more closely match reality will lower stress and frustration around the entire situation. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Finding a Narcissist’s Kryptonite – Episode 295 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dealing with a narcissist is all about regaining the emotional power. There are ways that you can do this, even if it feels impossible. In this episode, I’ll give you my top three tips to accomplish this and one of them you will be able to start immediately! To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

What You Say vs What You Do – Episode 294 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you consistent? Consistency creates credibility with the Court. Often, we recognize inconsistency in our ex, the Courts, or other professionals but it’s easy to miss your own inconsistent behavior. When the Court feels that your words match your actions, you have a better chance of getting a successful outcome. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

The Power of Doing Nothing – Episode 293 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The decisions you make, or avoid making, in the beginning of your case are often the decisions that have the greatest outcome in your case. And if you’re already off course, the sooner you course correct, the closer you’ll be to your destination. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Early Decisions Are the Most Impactful – Episode 292 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The decisions you make, or avoid making, in the beginning of your case are often the decisions that have the greatest outcome in your case. And if you’re already off course, the sooner you course correct, the closer you’ll be to your destination. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Your Life is a Story – Episode 291 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We don’t realize on a daily basis that we are writing the words, paragraphs, pages, and chapters of our life story. The struggles and trials become so consuming that we lose sight of the big picture. What lessons are you learning that will strengthen you or create a positive model for your children or build the life of your dreams? We have no idea when the story will end so we have to take personal responsibility for leaving the legacy we desire. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

When Child Custody Feels Overwhelming – Episode 290 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The issues in child custody are not great in number, but great in detail. Many small decisions are needed to resolve the overall problems. It’s like being pecked to death by chickens! So, what do you need to focus on and how do you best manage all the tedious details. In this episode, I’ll help you create a strategy to wade through the details with confidence and ease. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Creating Child Custody Magnets – Episode 289 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the challenges separating parents face is creating two worlds for their children. Many times, parents feel it’s best to leave the children in the family home and not force them to transition between homes. And if you have teenagers, they can be very resistant to transitions due to their own selfish motives. So, if you’re the parent that leaves the family home, how can you “magnetize” your world to draw the children in so they want to spend more time with you? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

It Won’t Always Be This Way – Episode 288 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We tend to feel like our day-to-day life is static and that whatever we are going through will last forever. However, life is contact change. So, if you’re in a rough season or trial, the good news is that it won’t last forever and if you’re in a good season, the lesson is to cherish it because it won’t last forever either. We are approaching the one-year anniversary of losing Thomas and in this episode, I’ll share some memories of Thomas and his hard-earned life wisdom. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Exchanging the Children – Episode 287 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Even though exchanges of children generally happen one to three times per week depending on your parenting schedule, we rarely seem to talk about how to have them go smoothly. These exchanges are obviously stressful for divorcing or separating parents but they can be exponentially stressful for the children. In this episode, I’ll give you strategies to help ensure a smoother transition, less stress for you and less stress for your children. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

The Nature of the Narcissist – Episode 286 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Understanding the nature of the narcissist is one of the keys to managing them effectively. Narcissists do not see the world the same way a non-narcissist sees the world. Our values and morals don’t typically match the values and morals of the narcissist. To win the game, you must understand the rules. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

3 Tips for Testifying in Your Child Custody Case – Episode 285 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Giving testimony on the witness stand is one of the most stressful parts of a divorce or child custody case. But there are strategies you can use to help you stay calm and make a good impression on the Court. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Change of Circumstances in Child Custody – Episode 284 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. How do you know if your child custody situation has a material or substantial change of circumstances? What are Judges looking for? In this episode, I’ll share some stories on past cases and talk about some of the more common circumstances that Judges tend to see as a substantial change. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Do Judges Understand Narcissism? – Episode 283 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a narcissistic or high conflict ex, it can be frustrating to try and get the Court to understand that your ex is a narcissist. If we could just get the Judge to understand what we’re dealing with, that would solve the problem, right? But, are we even asking the right question to start with? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

False Allegations In Child Custody – Episode 282 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents deal with false allegations from the other parent. This can come in many forms. Sometimes, it comes through the child, sometimes we are dealing with it in our communication with the other parent, and sometimes, we are dealing with it in the courtroom. No matter what your situation, I’m going to share some tips to help you effectively deal with these false allegations while protecting your children and your sanity at the same time. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Overthinking In Child Custody - Episode 281 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you are an overthinker like me, then you probably analyze everything your co-parent does or says. And you’re always trying to figure out their agenda. Overthinking would seem to give you a logical advantage but in reality, it often results in an emotional disadvantage. So, why do we do it? And can we stop? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Narcissists vs. Empaths - Episode 280 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. It is very common for a person that is an empath to end up in a relationship with someone with narcissistic qualities. The two people have often experienced similar childhood traumas but the effects of the trauma manifest in completely opposite ways. This is why the push and pull of the relationship tends to continue into coparenting relationships. The only way to break the pattern is to find healing and then begins with awareness. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Nesting in Child Custody - Episode 279 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Nesting is a parenting arrangement where the children remain in the home and the parents rotate in and out. This is an uncommon arrangement and is rarely used by the Court. However, it can be necessary for financial arrangements or when you have an ill or special needs child. In any case, there are things you can do to improve your chance of success and many of the same strategies can be effective in regular parenting schedules that do not involve nesting. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

What Toddlers and Narcissists Have In Common - Episode 278 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many of the behaviors we experience with our toddlers are reflected in similar behaviors from narcissists. And while we expect bad behavior from our toddler, it’s not so cute once a person reaches adulthood. The good news is that we can learn effective strategies for dealing with a narcissist by looking at parenting techniques we use to handle our toddlers. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Why Narcissists Win In Court - Episode 277 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Court can be a scary process when we are afraid that our ex will be able to charm and manipulate to get their way. And the Court does have limited time and resources to try and figure out what is going on in your case. But, there are things you can do to make it easier for the Court to see your ex’s true colors. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Have I Screwed Up My Case - Episode 276 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We are all human. And when you’re going through a divorce or child custody case, you are a human under immense amount of stress. Unfortunately, we sometimes make mistakes that us feel like we’ve screwed up the entire situation and that we will never recover. But the good news is that people love a good redemption story. So, you can totally recover from the situation eventually if you are using the correct strategies moving forward. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

The Calm Before the Child Custody Storm - Episode 275 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, we often see cyclical patterns of behavior and emotions. So, when things are really calm or quiet, we are sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. There are things we can do in the calm that will help prevent the storm, delay the storm, or at the very least, help us successfully weather the storm. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Breaking Toxic Patterns in Child Custody - Episode 274 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We usually think of toxic patterns in the context of romantic relationships. When a relationship ends and there are children involved, we often see the toxic patterns of behavior continue through the co-parenting. If you weren’t able to break those patterns during the relationship, how can you break them now that trust is at an all-time low? To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Weathering the Seasons of Child Custody - Episode 273 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are struggling in our child custody and co-parenting situation, it often feels like the struggle will go on forever. But the only thing in life that is constant is change. And, like everything else, your child custody and co-parenting is a constantly evolving situation. Want to know what to expect? To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Breaking Up With Narcissism - Episode 272 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are in a relationship with a Narcissist, we actually become addicted to this type of toxic relationship. Our body goes through chemical changes that are similar to addicts. In this episode, I’ll talk about how to stop the addictive cycle and break up with narcissism once and for all. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Does Grey Rocking a Narcissist Really Work? - Episode 271 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. “Grey Rock” is a common technique for handling a narcissist. This technique has a lot of useful points such as disengaging, minimizing contact, and not reacting. However, the Court wants you to cooperate and support the other parent. So, how do you manage both? How do you have good boundaries that insulate you from narcissistic behaviors while also making your Judge happy? To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Presenting Evidence in Child Custody Court - Episode 270 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the most effective ways to present your evidence in Court is by telling the “story” of your case. Most people mistake this for lots of details and background but as they say, less is more. You have a handful of tools and limited time to help the Judge understand your situation well enough to make a decision. How you choose to use those resources will determine your custody outcome. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

3 Tips for Success in Child Custody Court - Episode 269 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Almost everyone is nervous when speaking in Court, even attorneys. Whether you’re representing yourself or you have an attorney, it’s important to take steps to help you feel comfortable in the courtroom and successfully present your information to the Judge. Tune in as I share 3 time-tested strategies anyone can use to help them present confidently in Court. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

What Is Your Biggest Failure? - Episode 268 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Failures in life happen to everyone and they can teach us some of our greatest life lessons. If you feel like you failed in your relationship, in your co-parenting, or even in your parenting, this episode is for you. Learning to take your failures and turn them to lessons can help you create a greater vision and purpose for your life. Failure is a stepping stone to victory, even in custody. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Narcissists Never Change – Episode 267 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we deal with high-conflict personalities, we frequently think that if we choose the right words or the right logic to deal with them that it will change their behavior. Or, we hope that as they mature and learn lessons throughout life that they will become easier to deal with. However, the chances of narcissistic behaviors changing is practically nil and yet we continue to hold on to hope. Join me as I help you find solutions to this never-ending problem. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Reducing Conflict With A Narcissist – Episode 266 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Reducing conflict is difficult to do with a co-parent but it becomes even more difficult when you are dealing with someone who has a high-conflict personality like a narcissist. In this episode, I’m going to share 5 tips that will help you to reduce conflict and increase peace with your narcissistic co-parent. This wisdom came from some writing Thomas had done and I felt compelled to share his wisdom with you. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Why Did You Choose A Narcissist? – Episode 265 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Understanding why you chose a narcissistic partner is the key to not repeating the mistake! We are often looking to the other person to validate us, to shore up our insecurities or to make us feel better about ourselves. But as the relationship wears on, we often find ourselves with a person who is suddenly feeding every insecurity that we have about ourselves. You must do the work to discover your own cycle in order to avoid another toxic relationship. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

When Your Narcissistic Ex Lies In Court – Episode 264 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Lies from the ex is without a doubt the most common complaint we hear from clients during the court process. Why does this happen and is there anything you can do about it? The solutions are often counter intuitive but there are steps you can take to help you rebut the lies. In this episode, I’ll give you five strategies to help combat the narcissists lies. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Understanding Discovery – Interrogatories, Subpoenas, Documents – Episode 263 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Discovery is one of the most complex issues to understand in any divorce or child custody case. What is it? How do you respond to it? I’ll help shed some light on this topic so you can understand the basics and navigate how to respond to it. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

An Attorney for the Child in Custody Cases – Episode 262 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In child custody cases, the child will sometimes be assigned their own attorney. The attorney is called different things in different states but your biggest questions have less to do with the name and more to do with how to deal with this expert in your case. Sometimes, we want to know how to get an attorney assigned to our child or how to why this attorney was assigned to our case. Tune in to learn how to take advantage of having this expert in your case. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Defending Yourself Against Your Co-Parent – Episode 261 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Do you live in defense mode and constantly wonder what you’re co-parent is trying to pull next? Or maybe you have constant stress and anxiety from dealing with them. Or you get that knot in the pit of your stomach every time you get a new message from them. And yet, you have to co-parent. In this episode, I’ll help you defend against your co-parent’s attacks and help you achieve inner peace in the process. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

4 Tips for Negotiating With A Narcissist – Episode 260 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Negotiating with your ex is always tough but all the more when you are dealing with a high-conflict personality like a narcissist. There are always extra rules of “dos” and “don’ts” in these high conflict situations. Learning the top four will help put you on a path to successful negotiation of your case. After all, there is so much value in being done! To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Child Custody Trials – Episode 259 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Having a court trial on any aspect of your case is stressful but child custody tends to produce lots of anxiety because it impacts your children. This episode is going to give you a big picture view of what to expect from the process. I will also share some resources on where you can find additional information specific to your state/county. We’ll also talk about giving testimony and general guidelines to follow in the court room. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

3 Ways to Get More Parenting Time – Episode 258 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you want to get more parenting time with your kids, you have to start by understanding what the Court wants from you. If you aren’t doing your part, you most likely won’t succeed in getting more time. In this episode, I’ll give you 3 strategies to help increase your chances of getting more parenting time. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Your Co-Parenting Campaign Strategy – Episode 257 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. So often we are looking for the one trick or shortcut that will solve our problem. But if life was as easy as one trick or one shortcut, everyone would have success in every aspect of their lives. Each area of your life requires a strategy and disciplined follow through. Are you succeeding in your co-parenting relationship? Maybe you need a new campaign strategy. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

When You Resent Your Co-Parent – Episode 256 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Do you feel like you are doing everything to try and help your co-parent in order to make things better for your child? If so, I’m guessing your co-parent isn’t exactly grateful for your help. These types of situations can lead to feelings of resentment, much like they did during the relationship. You do all you can and nothing is good enough. The real question to ask yourself is, are you doing this for your ex or your child? To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist is Exhausting – Episode 255 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your narcissistic co-parent controlling your life? Do you feel constantly exhausted and emotionally drained? Many parents feel this way when they are dealing with a narcissistic co-parent. It can become all consuming and steal your joy. Join me in this episode to learn what you can do to eliminate the anxiety and stress in your co-parenting relationship. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

9 Rules of the Child Custody Game – Episode 254 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Could you win a game if you didn’t know the rules? Probably not unless it was sheer luck. Yet, people frequently head into child custody court without being educated on how the process works. And while custody isn’t a “game” in the sense of being fun, it is a “game” in that there are rules, and you need an effective strategy. In this episode, I will give you nine rule to help you win the game. To find out how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

You Can’t Afford to Screw It Up – Episode 253 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When is the best time to have a map? Before you enter the woods. And yet, I am contacted by people every day that have gotten a outcome in Court that they are unhappy with and now want to know how to fix it. In that situation, you’re now fighting an uphill battle. You can accomplish much greater outcomes if you know what to do right from the beginning. But don’t worry, if you have screwed it up, I’ll share some strategies that will help you get on the road to recovery. To find out how I can support you in achieving success and lowering your stress in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Is Your Co-Parenting Causing Stress For Your Child? – Episode 252 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many times parents unintentionally put their children in the middle in their co-parenting relationship. It’s easy to consider things from your own viewpoint and make parenting decisions that you feel are best for your child. But in co-parenting situations the child’s perspective is an additional viewpoint that must be considered, lest you do things that cause them to be put in the middle. Sometimes, the way we feel about our co-parent can also be subtly communicated to the child even though that is not our intent. In this episode, I’ll help you help you recognize these pitfalls and take steps to avoid them. To find out how I can support you in achieving success and lowering your stress in your custody matter, please schedule a free strategy session at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Secrets to Influence Your Judge – Episode 251 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Influencing your Judge is one of the most important skills you can learn for your court case. In order to have the strongest influence possible you have to understand how your Judge views the case, what information is important and relevant, and what information is not relevant. Giving your Judge too much information only leaves them frustrated and trying to sort through the volume of facts. In this episode, I’ll give you 5 secrets to maximize your influence. To find out how I can support you in achieving ongoing success in your custody matter, please schedule a free call at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

The Struggle is Real in Child Custody – Episode 250 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are struggle with child custody and co-parenting issues, it can be exhausting. When your children are young and living at home, parenting them is central to your life. So, when this core piece of your life is connected to constant negativity and harassment from your co-parent, it can begin to suck the joy from your life. In this episode, we’ll explore how to overcome the struggle and regain your peace. To find out how I can support you in achieving ongoing success in your custody matter, please schedule a free call at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Secrets to Influence Your Judge – Episode 249 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Influencing your Judge is one of the most important skills you can learn for your court case. In order to have the strongest influence possible you have to understand how your Judge views the case, what information is important and relevant, and what information is not relevant. Giving your Judge too much information only leaves them frustrated and trying to sort through the volume of facts. In this episode, I’ll give you 5 secrets to maximize your influence. To find out how I can support you in achieving ongoing success in your custody matter, please schedule a free call at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

5 Mistakes that Will Hurt Your Child Custody Case – Episode 248 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you make mistakes that hurt your court case, you end up with an uphill battle in trying to recover. The best time to have a map is before you enter the forest. Likewise, the best time to learn how to handle your case is before you actually go to Court. The last thing you want to do is leave your Judge (aka the decision maker in your case) feeling frustrated and angry with you. You only get one chance to make a first impression and in this episode, I’ll help you put your best foot forward. To find out how I can support you in achieving ongoing success in your custody matter, please schedule a free call at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Anxiety and Stress in Child Custody – Episode 247 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Anxiety and stress are two of the most common complaints I hear from co-parents dealing with a high-conflict ex. The day-to-day interaction with a difficult co-parent can leave you feeling exhausted and drained. If you have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach every time you receive a communication from them, then you know what I’m talking about. What if you could find away to have the interaction without it creating anxiety and stress. Sound too good to be true? Join me now to learn how. If you’d like more help in eliminating stress in your co-parenting relationship, please schedule a free call at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Getting the Upper Hand in Child Custody – Episode 246 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Do you feel like your co-parent has had the “emotional upper hand” through your entire relationship? And now that dynamic has continued throughout your co-parenting even though you are no longer in a relationship? This is a very common feeling when we’ve been involved with a high-conflict personality such as a narcissist, borderline, antisocial, etc. In this episode, I’ll share how you can put an end to this dynamic and reclaim your power once and for all. If you’d like to learn how to navigate your child custody and co-parenting issues like a pro, please schedule a free call with me by clicking on this link: www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

What is a Child Custody Evaluation – Episode 245 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. What is child custody evaluation? A custody evaluation can be one of the most nerve wracking experiences of any child custody case. Many parents have no idea what to expect or how to succeed in this arena. And once you mess it up, there are no do overs! In this episode, I’ll walk you through a high-level view of what to expect and how to bring up your points of concern about the other parent with the evaluator. To find out how I can help you succeed in your upcoming custody eval, please schedule a free call at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Child Custody is a Mental Game – Episode 244 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. What is an attorney’s biggest fear? And when they handle a case, what weapons do they use to help them prepare for the mental warfare of Court? As the client or a self-represented party, what are the strongest tools you have to help you win your case? Whether you’re goal is to leverage your attorney and give them the ammunition you need, or to win in you self-represented case, I’ll help you learn what weapons will prepare you best. For more information on my coaching programs, please schedule a free call at www.divorceuniversityonline.com/vip-coaching. Thanks for listening!

Perspective with Thomas’ Ex Wife – Episode 243 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. This week I’m joined by Special Guest, Emillie, who is Thomas’ Ex Wife. We discussed the history of her divorce and subsequent co-parenting with Thomas and me over the past 17 years. Sometimes, when you’re having conflict with your ex, the skill of being able to shift your perspective and look at things from their side can help you navigate the situation in a more amicable way. I learned a couple things I didn’t know from her perspective in this episode and you’ll learn some useful skills from hearing both sides of the stories. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Pulling Your Fat Out of the Fire – Episode 242 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you hit a peak of frustration in your divorce or child custody case, you may decide it’s time to retain an attorney or file a motion with the Court to help you resolve the issues. But, what if there were steps you could take to help you keep from getting to that point. What if you could deal with your co-parent without stress or anxiety and learn how to communicate effectively. How much would that improve your life? For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening! Please continue to share our gofundme link: https://gofund.me/5968e174

A Love Story – Episode 240 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. This week I’m sharing a bit about mine and Thomas’ personal life. I’ll share a couple of funny stories from our early days and talk about he progression of our life and our business. Even when life seems hard and unfair, there is joy to be found if we can focus on what’s possible for us. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

The Tragic Ending – Episode 239 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Life is nothing if not constant change. This episode is our most personal yet. On May 1, 2023 the world lost the most beautiful soul known as Thomas D. Ferreira. Join me (Tammy) for my first solo episode. The pain is raw and real right now but I’m here and we’ll push through together. If you’d like to support our family through this tragic time, our greatest need is financial. So, please share our gofundme link: https://gofund.me/5968e174

REPLAY:

Are You Ready For Your Court-Sponsored Child Custody Mediation? - In Episode 91, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about child custody mediation that is conducted by the Court, not a private mediator. Whether your Court system keeps the mediation private or has the mediator report to the Judge, there are certain things you should do and say and certain things you should not. If you want things to go your way, you need to be prepared with an effective strategy for communicating your desires and concerns involving your children. Listen now as we share our insights from years of coaching hundreds of parents in preparing for custody mediation. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Appeals – Episode 238 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. People are commonly unhappy with their court results, and we get asked lots of questions about appeals. Appeals are extremely complex, very time consuming, and if you have an attorney, very expensive. If you don’t have an attorney, you’ll be paying in the form of your own time. And yet, appeals have an extremely high denial rate. Why is that? We’re sharing our perspective to give you some insight as to whether filing an appeal in your own case is a good idea or not. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

On a Scale of 1-10, How Jerky Is Your Ex? – Episode 237 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We all feel like our ex is the worst but when you start hearing the stories of what other people deal with, you often find yourself grateful that your ex isn’t worse. We get asked “How bad is my ex compared to what you see?” on almost a daily basis. So, in this episode, we’ll share some of our more extreme stories so you can rate your ex on a scale of 1-10. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Matching Your Attorney with Your Goals – Episode 236 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When someone is searching for an attorney to handle their divorce and/or child custody case, it is common for that person to be in somewhat of an emotional crisis given the breakdown of their family. Often we rely on friends and family for a referral. But even if the attorney was a good choice for your friend or family member, that does not mean the attorney is a good fit for you. So, how do you choose the right attorney for you? For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Ex Parte/Emergency Child Custody Hearings: To File or Not to File – Episode 235 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The decision on when and if to file for an emergency hearings in child custody cases is a difficult decision not only for parents, but for attorneys as well. In this episode, we’ll talk about the reality of the statistics and how to evaluate whether or not it’s appropriate for your situation. We’ll share our process for evaluation these choices that has come from 15 years of dealing with these types of situations. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Mediation with a High Conflict Ex – Episode 234 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We frequently get asked if mediation will work with a high-conflict personality such as a narcissist or borderline. In fact, most of the time, it works better than the Court process. In this episode, we’ll share strategies on how to negotiate with a high conflict person and tips to help ensure you get the best result possible? For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Move Away and Relocation Requests in Child Custody – Episode 233 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Move away (also called Relocation in some states) requests are complicated. In this episode we’ll discuss the factors the court considers and what you can do to strengthen your case, whether you’re the parent that wants to move or the parent who wants to stop the move. Join us for a deep dive on this complex issue. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Killer Strategies for Custody Motions – Episode 232 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we think of child custody motions we tend to think of preparing our documents and declaration as well as presenting in Court or communicating with our attorney on what to expect. But crafting a winning motion starts far in advance of actually filing the motion. You need to build your case through long-term strategies to increase your odds for a win when you finally get your day in court. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Child Custody: Bonding vs. Discipline – Episode 231 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Co-parenting situations often make parents feel as if they are in a competition with the other parent for their child’s affection. We see parents try to deal with this in a number of ways, some over discipline, some talk to the child about the other parent, and others don’t discipline at all. And yet, all of these approaches create a whole list of unintended consequences, not the least of which is poor outcomes in Court. In this episode, we’ll discuss how to find the appropriate balance between bonding and discipline. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Happiness: Your Moral Obligation to Your Children – Episode 230 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. During divorce and child custody issues, many parents worry about their children’s happiness. But we often forget about our own happiness. Your happiness, or lack thereof, is a continuous daily example for your kids. So, it’s important to be the best example you can be. Going through a negative life experience can make it near impossible. In this episode, we’ll share tips to help you be happier, for you and your kids. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Co-Parent Communication: Mom vs. Dad – Episode 229 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Communication with your co-parent is a struggle for many people after a divorce or break up. Not only do we come at things differently as a mother or father, but we also must consider how the Court views our communication. In this episode, we’ll share the top mistakes people make and how you can modify your communication to have peace with your co-parent and gain credibility with the Court. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Are You Addicted to Drama? – Episode 228 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The patterns that occur during relationships often continue long after the break up. Most people tend to focus on the other person and what the other person is “doing to them”. But the other person and their behaviors are out of our control. So, how do you stop the patterns of emotional abuse, attacks, manipulation, hysteria and drama? For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Are You Relying on Your Children for Your Happiness? – Episode 227 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you experience a divorce or breakup and have to start sharing your children between two households, it can be devastating. Suddenly, yourself home alone with no idea what to do. Don’t get us wrong, the quiet can be nice, the extra time for sleep is a bonus and the chance to do things you can’t do with the kids is a perk. But, it can also be emotionally difficult to be away from your kids. And, if you start to put those feelings on your children’s shoulders, it can not only harm them but also your court case. For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Make a Clean Break – Episode 226 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We’ve all heard the cliché, “Make a Clean Break”. But this can prove to be sage advice especially in romantic relationships. It can prove hard to do especially when you’re trying to co-parent with the person that you’re trying to make a clean break from. So, how do you accomplish both? For more information, please visit www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Parallel Parenting with a High Conflict Ex – Episode 225 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The concept of Parallel Parenting was based on observing young children at play. Young children do not tend to have interactive play, they tend to play the same game or toy side by side. When you apply this to the model of parenting for high-conflict parents, “side by side” parenting reduces conflict and allows each parent to create their own separate “worlds” for the children – resulting in calmer parents and happier children. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

What to Say in Court – Episode 224 of Divorce University Online Podcast. Public speaking is a fear that people often rank higher than death itself. When you have to do it in Court, in front of a Judge, your ex, their attorney, and the subject is your life, well, fear almost doesn’t come close to describing it. Aside from the fear of public speaking you also have to figure out what to say, what not to say, when to speak, when not to speak. No wonder we all have anxiety before a court date. In this episode, we’ll share insights that will help feel confident and knowledgeable in Court, which will increase your chances of success. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Creating Your Game Plan - Episode 223 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Any time you’re dealing with complex situations, you need a game plan to be successful. It’s always good to be flexible and to be able to adapt to changing situations but if you don’t know what the end goal is or how to get there, then your leaving things to chance. Divorce and child custody issues are too important to leave to chance. They impact your entire life and can effect your overall happiness. So, it would be wise to create your game plan. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Are You Waiting for Permission? - Episode 222 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Often, when you’ve been in a controlling and manipulative relationship, you develop a pattern of feeling like you need permission for everything you do. You can learn to tap into your authentic self and live the life you desire but it requires doing something different. You must face your fear and create the intention you desire for your life. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Out of the Mouth of Babes - In this BONUS Episode, we decided to give you a more personal look at divorce from the viewpoint of children, specifically our own. We have invited our four boys to join us in studio this week to share their experiences of our divorces. Tammy’s two sons, Dalton, age 29, Kevin, age 24 and Thomas’ two sons, Isaiah, age 16 and Isaac, age 15 talk about the impact our divorces had on them. The boys were 15, 11, 2, and 1 at the time of our divorces and given their wide range of ages, they saw things very differently. We also talk about new stepparents joining the mix and becoming a blended family. This episode is a bit long given that there are six of us but it’s totally unscripted and full of great insights! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Is Your Ex Stealing Your Happiness? - Episode 221 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. During divorce, it’s easy to blame your ex for everything that is happening. And, while many things may be their fault, focusing on those things only makes you more unhappy. Why is that? And more importantly, are there solutions? Join us to find out. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Is It Time to Change Course in Your Custody Case? - Episode 220 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Yet, we often see people make this mistake in their Court case. If you aren’t getting the results you want, maybe it’s time to change course. But, you don’t want to change course randomly, you need to have a specific, planned path from where you are now to where you want to be in your case. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Understanding the Motion/Request for Order Process - Episode 219 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we talk through the court process for motions, also known as a Request for Order (RFO). We’ll cover the logistical aspect of filing the motion, how to determine your arguments, writing your declaration, and speaking in Court. This comprehensive overview will give you a basic understanding of the process and help you succeed in Court if you are self-represented. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Understanding the Motion/Request for Order Process - Episode 219 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we talk through the court process for motions, also known as a Request for Order (RFO). We’ll cover the logistical aspect of filing the motion, how to determine your arguments, writing your declaration, and speaking in Court. This comprehensive overview will give you a basic understanding of the process and help you succeed in Court if you are self-represented. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Knowledge vs. Wisdom in Child Custody – Episode 217 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Attorneys obviously have lots of knowledge of the law, however, that doesn’t necessarily mean they have wisdom. And most people going through a divorce, don’t have the wisdom they would normally have about situations because of the extreme emotions experienced during divorce and child custody issues. It’s important to understand the difference between knowledge and wisdom so you can build your support team to include both! For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Disciplining Your Child Won’t Hurt Your Custody Case – Episode 216 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Parents frequently ask us about discipline techniques and how they should or should not discipline their children during custody cases. We all secretly want our children to like us better than the other parent and we’re afraid the child will prefer the more permissive parent. Some of these issues depend on the strength of your bond and some depend on the age of the child. In this episode, we cover some of the pros and cons of various discipline techniques. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Standing Your Ground in Child Custody Cases – Episode 215 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Often in child custody cases, we see one parent who is sick and tired of the other parent’s crap! Can you relate? But being overly inflexible can also increase conflict and cause you to look uncooperative to the Court. So, the secret is to strike a balance between being kind and cooperative while also being able to draw clear healthy boundaries. So, what does that look like in a practical sense? Listen now to find out. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Start Creating – Episode 214 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Last week, we focused on how to stop negative thoughts. However, once you’ve accomplished stopping the negative thoughts, how do you move forward into creating the life you want? How do you make a permanent shift in your mindset that allows you to build a post-divorce life that you love? What strategies will increase your changes for happiness and success? For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Stop Imagining – Episode 213 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you constantly worried about “what if”? What if I lose custody? What if the Court gets it wrong? What if I don’t have enough money to cover my bills? Many divorcing people are plagued by “what if” simply because divorce is such an unknown for most people. And the unknown creates uncertainty and fear. In this episode, we talk about these fears and how you can stop them. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Everybody Hates Me – Episode 212 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many times people are in a terrible state of mind in the beginning of their divorce or child custody case. That can lead to some equally terrible behavior. If you make this mistake, it can start to feel like everybody hates you, from your ex, to your kids, to the Judge. But do they really or are you just caught in a case with a bad reputation? And either way, how do you turn it around? For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Every Problem Has a Solution – Episode 211 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In divorce or child custody issues, much of the discussion centers on who is to blame for various problems. To solve problems, we need solutions, not blame. In this episode we talk about how to reframe your thinking into focusing on the problem. By doing this, you can find a solution to most any problem you face. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Marital Hatred – Episode 210 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we discuss the concept of “Marital Hatred”, a term coined by a therapist named Terrence Real. According to Real, there is a certain amount of hatred for your spouse that is normal in a marriage. But as many of us have experienced, that hatred can hit a tipping point that ultimately leads to divorce. Then you’re dealing with divorce hatred, which becomes the ultimate slippery slope. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

The Divorce Storm – Episode 209 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We weather many “storms” in our life. Sometimes they are physical storms such as natural disasters and sometimes they are emotional storms. In this episode, we draw some parallels between the two and discuss the critical need to make the right decision at various stages. Decisions that, in a natural disaster, can mean life or death and that, in an emotional disaster, can feel like life or death. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Men vs. Women – Episode 208 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. As men and women, we come at life from very different perspectives. As we work with divorcing couples, we see recurring parents of conflict that comes during the relationship, at the point of breakup, and especially after the split. And yet, the Court expects us to set aside our feelings and “act like adults”, which means get along. In this episode, we help you view both perspectives, which may help you have a better understanding of the conflict between you and your ex. Recognition of the issue is the first step towards resolution. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

The Humbling Experience of Raising Children – Episode 207 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we’re new to parenting we have a vision of the future with our children. But what happens when your vision meets your reality, and they look nothing alike. No one signs up to be a parent half the time. When you are dealing with child custody issues, reality can become further and further from your vision for your children. You aren’t alone. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Nothing Succeeds Like Success – Episode 206 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. A big part of success is momentum. But how do you gain momentum when it feels like life is only handing you lemons? Of course, you make lemonade. Join us as we discuss “making lemonade” even in the midst of trials like divorce. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Nothing Succeeds Like Success – Episode 205 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. A big part of success is momentum. But how do you gain momentum when it feels like life is only handing you lemons? Of course, you make lemonade. Join us as we discuss “making lemonade” even in the midst of trials like divorce. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

My Child Hates Me – Episode 204 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you’re struggling to maintain a relationship with your child in a co-parenting situation, it’s easy to start claiming parental alienation. But, family systems are much more complex than simply blaming one parent. If you’re alienated or being accused of alienation, this episode will give you insight into the possible reasons why and what you can do to fix it. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Happiness Makes You a Better Parent – Episode 203 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Happy parents are better parents. Happy parents produce happy children. You owe it to yourself and your children to intentionally cultivate happiness regardless of your present circumstances. So, how can you be happy despite the inherent negativity of divorce and child custody issues? For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Your Hidden Power – Episode 202 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Your hidden power is something available to everyone and it can be a huge help, not only during divorce but in any life crisis you are experiencing. Listen now as we explore your hidden power and give examples of how you can use it to your advantage. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Why Your Children MUST Be in Therapy – Episode 201 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Therapy is something we always suggest to divorcing parents for their children. Today, we discuss therapy in the context of the emotional strain on children of transitions and the emotional damage that’s done when one parenting isn’t meeting the needs of the child. And, why the Court is often ill-equipped to recognize these nuances. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Best Interest of the Child - Episode 200 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Best interest of the child is one of the most misunderstood concepts in family law. The law varies state to state and Thomas, of course, is only licensed in California. But this concept has many commonalities and in this episode, we’ll help you understand what Best Interest of the Child is and what it isn’t. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Listener Questions Answered – Episode 199 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we answer several listener questions. The topics include appearing in Court, financial considerations when determining custody and grandparent rights. We also give a shout out to one special listener. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

But…….I’m Right! – Episode 198 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you know you’re right and the other parent is wrong, it can be very hard to disengage from a disagreement. This is true in any relationship whether a marriage or not but it becomes even more of a problem during divorce. Being right can be important, especially if the safety of your children is at risk. But many times, we’re giving our energy to an argument that ultimately doesn’t really matter. So, how do you determine when it matters and when it doesn’t? We’ll help you break it down in this episode. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Seashells By The Seashore – Episode 197 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we share a heartwarming story about a father that regularly took his children to hunt for seashells on the beach. For his daughter, these became very fond memories and she even kept her collection of seashells as an adult. But her father had a secret about the adventures that the daughter never learned until her father became elderly. How can this secret help you in your custody and coparenting situation? Tune in to the learn the secret in this special story. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Are You Chasing Sunk Costs? – Episode 196 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Sunk cost is an economic term used to describe costs that in the past and should not be considered in the current financial analysis of a project to help determine whether the project is worth pursuing financially. This theory can be applied to divorce to help you determine whether you should continue fighting or consider letting go. In divorce this issue reaches far beyond financial aspect because divorce also takes a heavy emotional toll. So, how much is your divorce costing you? Listen now to find out. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Children Caught In The Middle – Episode 195 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Studies show that conflict between co-parents is one of the things that does the most damage to children post divorce. Sometimes one parent is manipulating or lobbying the kids intentionally and sometimes parents just have difficulty getting past their own emotions or recognizing what is happening. In this episode we give some examples and talk about how you can handle this issue, whether it’s a mistake you have made yourself or whether you’re dealing with this behavior from your co-parent. We’ll give some tips on how to handle it and how to keep your kids from feeling the pressure. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Law Of Attraction – Episode 194 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode we talk about the Law of Attraction and how it applies in divorce. Have you attracted this crap storm in your life? Or are you being intentional in moving your life forward out of the negative and into the positive? Join us as we discuss how you can use the law of attraction principles to help you turn your divorce into a positive foundation for growth. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Lighting Your Fire – Episode 193 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode we talk about how to find motivation before, during and after divorce. Many times people know divorce is inevitable but have a hard time motivating themselves to take the first step. Once you’re “up to your eyeballs” in divorce it gets even harder to see the long-term picture. So, how do you stay focused and set goals that will get you where you want to go? For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Starving the Beast – Episode 192 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. “The Beast” can be any high-conflict personality issue you are dealing with in your ex. Women often feel that their ex’s are narcissistic, although some men do as well, and many men we encounter feel that their ex is a “crazy chic” or has borderline personality disorder. Regardless of what type of high-conflict personality you’re dealing with, we’ll give you strategies to “Starve the Beast”. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Child Custody Fears – Episode 191 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Children are often at the center of high-conflict cases. Our minds can run wild with all the different fears, concerns and wondering how to protect our children. And sometimes, the Court doesn’t share our concerns. Why is that? And how do we objectively know when our fear is irrational and when it is valid? This topic is art more than science and we’ll do our best to break it down for you in this episode. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Child Support and Verbal Agreements – Episode 190 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Verbal agreements can be a great way to stay out of Court when both parties have the integrity to follow through with their agreements. All too often, we get a call after one party has failed to hold up their end of the bargain and the other party is left wondering how to right the wrong. In this episode, we’ll talk about the pros and cons of verbal agreements and what happens when you find yourself holding the short end of the stick. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Your Divorce Song – Episode 189 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this light-hearted episode we share our own divorce songs and talk about some of our favorites. We’ll also share other humorous coping strategies we employed along the way to help us cope with the hurt and anger during our divorces. We’ll even pull a few skeletons out of the closet and share a couple of our not so proud moments. We hope this one adds a few laughs to your day! For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Brevity Is Effective – Episode 188 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In almost every single case we see, the parties say too much! They say too much to each other, in Court, and in their written statements to the Court. It’s easy to do because we feel like we have so many important things that need to be said to the Court and our ex. But brevity wins the day and creates the best outcomes both in Court and in your co-parenting. So, how do you decided what to say and what not to say? For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Pointless Anger – Episode 187 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Anger can be a helpful emotion, especially in Divorce and Child Custody situations. Anger always covers hurt and can be helpful in keeping us functioning in the midst of great emotional pain. But can your anger become more harmful than helpful and how can you tell if it’s reached that point? For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Legal Strategy vs. Life Strategy – Episode 186 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce puts most people in a state of sheer survival. Your lawyer’s job is to assist you in navigating the legal process and to help you get the most favorable results in your case. But what about your life? Sadly, the legal process usually has little consideration of the practical aspects of your day-to-day life. So, how do you make sure your legal strategy work WITH your life strategy and not against it? For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Destroying Your Ex – Episode 185 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The legal process can leave you feeling like you want to destroy your ex or take them down. Let’s face it, we often fantasize about it. And sometimes, the support you have around you, lawyers, coaches, family members, etc. only fan the flames of that fantasy. We’re told how to document, how to get the upper hand, how to win in Court. But destroying your ex may not be the best strategy for winning in Court, or in life. Join us as we explore alternatives. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Child Custody Declarations: Biggest Errors – Episode 184 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most of our discussions around writing child custody declarations for Court involve how to outline your points and present your concerns to the Court. But today, we’ll talk about the biggest errors we see and what not to do when writing declarations. We’ll also share examples of some of the common mistakes we see from client. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

5 Easy Steps to a Win-Win – Episode 183 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The first step to finding a win-win is to figure out what is essential, or non-negotiable, for you. Once you decide if an issue is essential or trivial, you know whether it is worth your time and effort to come up with win-win solutions. We’ll give you a five-step framework to help you to determine if an issue is essential. If it’s not essential then it may be what the Court frequently refers to as a “garbage issue”. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening.

Don’t Drink and Post! – Episode 182 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Social media posts are one of the most common exhibits used in family law cases. It’s become acceptable to share (sometimes too much) on social media but the rules change when the Court becomes the authority in your case. In this episode, we’ll discuss when it’s ok to use social media and when it’s not and the best way to eliminate the potential problem completely. This episode may contain some tough love so brace yourself. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening.

Therefore What? – Episode 181 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Over and over we see people stuck in arguments based on their position. They clearly disagree and yet the continue to set forth their logical arguments for their position. In this situation there are really only two options to stop the insanity. One, is to agree to disagree. Two, is to shift the discussion into a problem-solving discussion. What creative solutions can we come up with that would solve this problem in a way that would accomplish both of our goals? Join us as we help you think outside the box. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening.

Thinking On Your Feet – Episode 180 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Thinking on their feet is something attorney’s often have to do in Court and it comes up when we are working with coaching clients, especially if they are self-represented. It’s important to understand concepts around Court and co-parenting so that you can apply those concepts in any situation. Otherwise, you prepare what you believe is important but as soon as you’re asked a question that you didn’t prepare for, you’re stuck. In this episode, we’ll prepare you to think on your feet. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening.

FEAR NOT – Episode 179 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. So many divorcing people are driven by fear. They are often worried, “what if” this happens or “what if” that happens. It can overtake you and cause you to behave in ways the end up creating the very outcome you were trying to avoid. So, how can you stay present focused and ditch the fear? Join us now to find out. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Do Your Actions Match Your Word? – Episode 178 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Court, credibility is everything. If your actions do not match what your telling the Court, then you are hurting your credibility. This can have a negative impact on your case even when the “presentation” of your information went well. We’ll share some examples in this episode and some tips to help you keep your credibility intact. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Why Isn’t My Judge Listening? – Episode 177 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Going to Court is almost always a difficult experience emotionally. But, if you also leave feeling like the Judge didn’t listen to you, you are not alone. In this episode, we’ll talk about how to get inside the Judge’s head and understand what they are looking for. We’ll also give you helpful tips for presenting your case in a way that you can get the Judge to hear you. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

How Can I Protect Myself? – Episode 176 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When clients ask how they can protect themselves, they are usually referring to the other parent. We often feel stress and anxiety in dealing with our ex. It’s common to feel like they are playing “gotcha” and even if they have an attorney, we may feel like the attorney is playing “gotcha” on their behalf. Join us as we share strategies you can use to bring calm and peace to your interactions while responding in ways that builds your credibility should your communications ever be submitted to the Court. For more information, please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

When to Stop Fighting – Episode 175 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorcing people tend to have conversations where each person is advocating their “position”. Much of the communication we see involves multiple paragraphs back and forth between the parties. The emotional exhaustion takes it’s toll on your entire life. In this episode, we explore what needs to be responded to and what you can safely ignore to save your sanity. For more information, please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

No Means No – Episode 174 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Much of the conflict between co-parents comes from “beating a dead horse” so to speak. We often see people argue back and forth endlessly, whether by email, through a messaging app, or text messages, and repeating their disagreements on an issue. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree in order to have peace. In this episode, we’ll help you recognize when you’re stuck in repetitive conflict and give you tools to end it peacefully. For more information, please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com

Jack of All Trades, Master of None – Episode 173 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. It seems daily life is a constant go, go, go and it can be difficult to manage everything that’s coming at us. And yet many of us have a hard time saying no and end up overcommitting ourselves. When we add divorce to that equation, it can make us want to crawl into bed and stay there. In this episode, we talk about how to do less and how to make sure what you are doing is the most important thing. For more information, please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com

Starting Small – Episode 172 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce, like many challenging life events, is overwhelming for most people, especially in the beginning. It changes so many aspects of your life that you don’t know where to start putting out all the fires. In this episode, we’ll discuss starting small to avoid overwhelm and building on prior action to gain momentum in moving through your divorce from both an emotional and practical perspective. Shout out to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, which was our inspiration for this episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Don’t Get Too Close to the Edge – Episode 171 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many couples have parenting differences during their relationship that become more magnified through a divorce or separation. Sometimes parents find themselves worried about their children when the children are in the other parent’s care or they do not agree with decisions the other parent makes. This conflict can cause untold harm in your co-parenting relationship. Today, we’ll discuss what concerns you should and shouldn’t address and how to do so in a way that won’t destroy your relationship with your co-parent. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

What Is a Through Line? – Episode 170 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Through Line is a term you’ll be familiar with if you have acting experience. When someone portrays a character they develop a through-line for the character that helps guide them in predicting how a character will behave in various circumstances. In applying this to our own life, how do we respond in various situations, especially a crisis like a divorce? Is your through-line helpful? Or has it been chopped into pieces? For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

New Beginnings – Episode 169 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people that go through a divorce or breakup feel like everything is falling apart. We tend to focus on the loss, the loss of family, the loss of finances, the loss of who we were in that relationship. But life becomes hopeful again when you shift your perspective to the future. With Divorce comes the opportunity for a fresh start, a new beginning. How exciting! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

What Is A Forensic Expert? – Episode 168 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce comes with all kinds of jargon and terms that most people have never heard of, including “forensic expert”. We tend to think of a crime scene when we think of the word forensic but in the Court system, a forensic expert is usually brought in for a financial issue or a custody issue. This person is an “expert” in their respective field. They can be brought in by the Court or by one or both of the parties. In this episode, we’ll break down the various names used for these experts and take a look at how they can help, or hurt, your case. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

What Is It Worth? – Episode 167 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The value of something extends far beyond its financial value. Things often have intangible value to us such as emotional value. A “get all you can” mentality is common in divorce. But sometimes we overlook the cost. If what you are getting outweighs the cost of it, then is it really worth it? From a numbers perspective, that’s easy to determine. But, when it comes to emotions, there is a lot of grays. We’ll help you sift through the “value” and decide if what you are fighting over is worth it or not. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Biggest Divorce Mistakes – Episode 166 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We often hear from people, wow, I wish I had found you years ago when I was going through my divorce! That comment is usually followed by a story about some big mistake they made that could have been avoided if they had only known it was a problem. So, today, we’re going to share the biggest divorce mistakes we see that cause people undue financial and emotional strain and don’t necessarily lead to better outcomes for their situation. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Top Ten Divorce Questions – Episode 165 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Got questions? Today, we have answers. We answer the top ten questions we get about divorce including where to file, who should file first and questions about cost, property division, custody, and support. We’ll give you a big-picture overview that will help you get headed in the right direction. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

One More Thing…………. – Episode 164 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We see this problem in many, many cases. Parties will work very hard to reach an agreement on issues and then one party wants to ask for changes. Asking for a change isn’t always a problem but if one change leads to another leads to another……..you might end up blowing the deal. In order to avoid problems, you need to go into your negotiations with a game plan and an understanding of the art of divorce negotiations. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Affairs – From Each Perspective – Episode 163 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many relationships break down due to one party having an affair. This issue is very emotional and can cause blockages that keep you from being able to discuss or settle your divorce case. And while the emotions run high for both parties, we tend to focus more on the “wronged” spouse, for obvious reasons. Today, we’re going to discuss this topic from both perspectives and how it creates problems for both parties, in different ways. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Are You Giving Away Your Power? – Episode 162 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce has a way of making anyone feel powerless. Powerless to control your situation, the other person, your kids, etc. We often see people after the divorce or breakup who are unknowingly continuing to give away their power. This comes in many forms such as engaging in conflict with your ex, worrying about what they say or what they’ll think, or what they may say to the children. Today we’re going to help you take back your power and kick thoughts of your ex to the curb for good! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Be A Drama Destroyer – Episode 161 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Let’s face it, divorce or a breakup often includes ongoing, relentless, crazy-making drama. Conversations that you replay in your head about what you could have said or should have said. You may walk around seething with anger or frustration and your ex’s drama ends up robbing you of even more time because you are wasting it thinking about them. The key is to shift your focus from their drama to your success. We’ll give you tips to do just that! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

One is the Loneliest Number – Episode 160 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Does it feel like everyone around you is happily married or in a happy relationship? Are you managing the burden of the kids, the finances, the pets, and every other aspect of daily life by yourself? It can be quite lonesome for many people, especially if we’re not looking to jump back into the dating pool right away. In this episode, we’ll help you manage this phase of divorce in a positive way that you can enjoy and be a great role model for your kids at the same time. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Raising Self-Reliant Children After Divorce – Episode 159 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most parents have concerns about how divorce will negatively impact their children. We want to do all we can to set them up for future success. Post-Divorce Parenting plans are a great tool to create self-reliance, resilience, and confidence in children. Again, as adults, we tend to look at the negatives, but a properly structured parenting plan can provide stability and continuity for your children and help them learn lessons that will serve them later in life. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Are You Seeking Closure? – Episode 158 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Closure is something many people struggle with after the divorce. We want our pound of flesh. We want the other person to understand what they’ve done. Divorcing parties are often seeking closure through the Court process though they almost never realize that is what they are after. So, how can you get the closure you’re seeking and if you can’t get it, how can move forward? For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Two Strategies for Winning – Episode 157 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Almost all high-conflict (and expensive!) divorces involve at least one party, and sometimes both, using a “negative strategy”. A negative strategy involves tearing the other person down, telling the Court what a horrible person or parent they are, and engaging in all manner of mudslinging. So, how do you beat them at their own game? You use a different strategy, one that is built for long-term success and will expose their mudslinging. We’ll tell you what that second strategy is in this episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Understanding the Psychology of Divorce – Episode 156 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Why is there so much conflict in divorce? If the marriage is over, why can’t we just walk away peacefully and leave each other to live our lives? Having conflict is the flip side of the intimacy and connection in a marriage. Not caring would allow us to walk away but because we do care, we have conflict. So, how do you disengage when your emotions are working against you? Join us as we discuss what works and what doesn’t. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

How to Embrace Your Inner Awesomeness! – Episode 155 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you are in a co-dependent relationship or perpetually have a victim mentality, then you are not embracing your inner awesomeness. Embracing your inner awesomeness is feeling confident, worthy, and empowered. This is easier said than done when you are going through an inherently negative life experience such as divorce. So, how do you get there? Join us as we dive into this topic. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

I’ve Been Served with a Domestic Violence Restraining Order. Now What? – Episode 154 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Domestic Violence Orders are, unfortunately, a very necessary part of the judicial system. But when you’re the one being accused, it can be very stressful, particularly when you feel like the allegations are false. Domestic Violence Orders can impact your ability to see your kids, your career, your ability to rent a place to live, your ability to own a firearm, and other personal aspects of your life. Join us as we discuss what to do and more importantly, what not to do in Domestic Violence situations. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

I’m Self-Represented. How Do I Prepare for a Court Hearing? – Episode 153 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people get nervous before Court (Here’s a secret: Even attorney’s get nervous!) Attorney’s often appear very smooth and well-spoken but what we don’t see is the hours of preparation that went into that one court hearing. It’s hours! And if you don’t believe us, just look at your attorney bill! So, what steps does an attorney go through to prepare for a Court hearing and how can you duplicate that to improve your chance of success? For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Are You Flexing Your Emotional Muscles? – Episode 152 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Let’s face it, when divorce first hits you, you often feeling like crawling in a hole and not coming out. We want to withdraw and shut down. When that happens, we become emotionally weaker and the divorce process requires emotional strength. So, how can we flex our emotional muscles in a way that builds strength, confidence and courage? If you’re still in that place of emotional struggle, this is the episode for you! Listen now! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

How to Win in Mediation – Episode 151 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In our experience, no one truly wins in divorce. Everyone usually walks away from the process feeling like things were unfair or like they just didn’t get the outcome they were wanting. But the beauty of divorce mediation is that, unlike Court, you can find opportunities to create win-win outcomes. With preparation, you can advocate for your own interest while focusing on problem-solving for the benefit of both parties. Listen now! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Presenting Documents to Win in Child Custody Court – Episode 150 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Understanding how to present evidence to the Court is where we see many self-represented people struggle. There are rules for what can present when you can present it, and how you must present it. In this episode, we’ll give you a few simple guidelines that will help you present your case like a pro! And if you already have professional help, this will help you understand how you can be of help to them in presenting your case! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Perjury, Contempt & Enforcement – Episode 149 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The first thing we often hear from clients is that the other party’s statement to the Court is “full of lies”. Then we get questions about the other party getting in trouble for perjury. Contempt is another big question. Isn’t my ex going to be held in contempt for not following Court orders? And if they don’t follow Court orders, how do you enforce your orders? These are all more complicated aspects of divorce and child custody cases but in this episode, we’ll boil them down to some key takeaways that will help you have a better understanding of how to handle them. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Think Like Your Judge to Win in Child Custody Court – Episode 148 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your Child Custody case the type that judges dream about or is it the opposite, a nightmare they can’t seem to wake from? If you like many people, you and your Judge are caught in this nightmare. To succeed in Court, you do not want to do “more of the same”, in other words, you don’t want to make the mistakes that most parents make. In this episode, we help you understand the Judge’s perspective, what factors they consider when making decisions, and how to get them to rule in your favor. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Get Coached Up to Defend Your Domestic Violence Case – Episode 147 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Domestic Violence cases are serious business and expensive business. If you are trying to defend yourself in a DV situation and you can’t afford an attorney, a little coaching can go a long way without breaking the bank. There are strategies that can help you attack the other person’s credibility while building a strong foundation for your case. And if the worst happens, and you have an order against you, what can you do to help make it as short as possible? For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Be Positive in Child Custody Court – Episode 146 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents make the mistake of focusing on attacking the other parent in court. When in fact, the most effective approach you can take is to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with your child(ren). The Court wants to you to cooperate and want you to support the other parent. This is the opposite of how many parents approach their case. Join us as we explain the Court’s view and why the positive approach is far better than the negative. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Who Is Responsible for You? – Episode 145 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Who is responsible for you? Who is responsible for your relationship? And what happens when the person you have relied on so heavily fails you? In order to move forward, you’ve got to take inventory of where you’re at. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Is Divorce Worth the Wreckage? – Episode 144 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the old joke? Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it! But seriously, the financial cost is only the beginning. The mental and emotional stress can be overwhelming for both you and your children. So, how do you know if it’s the right choice? In today’s episode, we’ll give you some tips on how to know if this is the right decision for you and your family. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

When to Stop Negotiating – Episode 143 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. You know we are big advocates for settling your case and moving on with life. But what do you do when you have someone who just isn’t negotiating in good faith? Who argues about every last detail? And who always wants you to give more no matter what options you offer them? We discuss all this and more in today’s episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Parental Alienation – Is it their fault or yours? – Episode 142 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Accusations of parental alienation are frequently thrown around in Family Court. And while, it does occasionally happen, in many cases, the non-custodial parent could have done many things to reduce the chances of their children being alienated by the other parent. This episode contains a little tough love, but the silver lining is that the solution lies with you! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Swallowing Your Pride – Episode 141 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The breakdown of your family and the subsequent court process is nothing if not humbling. But many people make the mistake of letting their pride get the better of them and it often is a significant factor when you lose in Court. So, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? We’ll explore this question and more in this episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Where Will You Be in 5 Years? – Episode 140 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. This is a question we often see asked in job interviews or in self-development environments. And, how can you use this wisdom in your divorce or separation to help guide you to better decisions? Future focus is the lens through which we create our post-divorce life. We break it down for you in this episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!

Should I Stay or Should I Go? – Episode 139 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Almost all of us struggle with the decision to divorce. Often, it takes years to make the decision and even after it’s made, we wonder if they did the right thing. But there are patterns in certain relationships that cause more harm than good. Join us as we discuss three of the common scenarios we see and how identifying the patterns can help you make the right decision. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Financial Security After Divorce – Episode 138 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Financial hardship is a struggle almost everyone has after divorce. But there are six simple rules for solving many of these struggles if you’re willing to put in the work. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Let’s dive in and start building that secure future for you and your family. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Co-Parenting Chaos – Episode 137 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many times co-parents have trouble achieving peace in their relationship, especially the first couple of years after the split. And yet, studies show conflict is the worst thing for your children. And, if you’re dealing with an unstable co-parent that peace can seem totally elusive. But, believe us, it only takes one parent to turn the dynamic in the relationship. Join us as we share our best tips for helping you avoid chaos. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Self Focus vs. Ex Focus – Episode 136 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. During a divorce, it’s so important for us to practice self-care and to focus on ourselves, sometimes for the first time in a long time. But many of us get caught in the trap of being hyper-focused on everything our ex is or isn’t doing. So, how do you break the trap? Join us as we discuss the difference in these issues for men versus women and how it can impact your Court case! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

It’s Only Words – Episode 135 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Remember when we’re kids and a common phrase was “stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. It seems in adulthood, we’ve forgotten this lesson. Divorce brings many words of anger that can’t be taken back. We spend much of our time being hurt by the other person’s words and the meaning we give them. Today, we’re going to remind you that words are only words and they can only hurt if you let them. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

What Does the Court Want From You? – Episode 134 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many people have the experience of going into Court and not getting the result they want in their divorce or child custody case. As we heard one Judge put it, “Half of you are going to lose”. Not great odds. If you can start to understand how the Court views your case and how to present your information, you will have a much better chance of success. This episode is all about helping you do just that! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

This Too Shall Pass – Episode 133 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you’re going through a crisis like a divorce or a breakup it can feel like the emotional pain will never end. The stress, grief, anger, and other emotions become the daily normal with no end in sight. But it will end and it will end sooner if we make a shift toward the future and away from the past. This episode is all about helping you do just that! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

STEP FIVE: Don’t Allow Other People to Knock You Off Track – Episode 132 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. You are often your own worst enemy in your own progress. But others can also slow our progress even though they have the best of intentions. Divorce is a time for you to focus on self-care and your own priorities. Remember, no is a complete sentence! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

STEP FOUR: Regularly Take a Progress Inventory – Episode 131 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Even when we get started on our goals, we can lose steam as days turn into weeks turn into months. Keeping track of your progress isn’t only important for measuring but for maintaining motivation. Most importantly, you need to celebrate your success and have grace for yourself when you fall short. This is particularly important during a life trial such as divorce. Join us as we help you push forward with your progress! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

STEP THREE: Making the Big Things Your Priority – Episode 130 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your life guided by your big goals? Or do you spend most days stuck in the unimportant, urgent issues that come from your procrastination? Let’s face it, divorce is emotionally hard and some days you just don’t feel like doing anything. But, your big goals can help to keep you moving through the mud and the muck. This episode is all about helping you do just that! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

STEP TWO: Take the Bull by the Horns – Episode 129 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you letting your divorce just unfold or are you proactively guiding the process to make sure you get the outcomes you want? This week we talk about being proactive, creating actionable steps from your goals, and measuring your progress. As they say, what gets measured gets improved. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

STEP ONE: Dream Big! – Episode 128 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dreaming is something we often stop doing during the crisis of divorce. But it is key for building your new life because if you can see it, you can achieve it. In this episode, we’ll help you discover your “why” and give you some practical tips on how to start creating your post-divorce dreams! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Five Steps to Getting Off the Divorce Treadmill – Episode 127 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dealing with divorce feels like dealing with an unending series of emergencies. In order to stop the insanity, we have to get ourselves out of “reaction” mode and into proactive action. But what actions should you take? Where do start? Join us a we lay the foundation for this five part series to help you get into action and build your future. This episode is all about helping you do just that! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Finding Your Inner Lawyer – Episode 126 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce and custody issues are expensive when you need the Court’s help in resolving disagreements with your ex. But many people can’t afford a lawyer and end up needing to represent themselves. In this episode, we’ll help you navigate the Courts, understand what they’re looking for and help you present your information to the Court in a way that will achieve your desired outcome. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Your Grief is Your Own – Episode 125 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We may not always think of a divorce or breakup as something we grieve over, but it is. Grief is unique to each individual and relationship. It’s common to feel you “should be over it” or wonder “why is this so hard”. But grief comes in waves, one day your fine, the next your binging Netflix and eating a gallon of ice cream. You are not alone. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Episode 124 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Lawyers and Divorce Coaches have very different roles in divorce and both can help you tremendously. Most people can benefit from both. In this episode, we discuss each of these roles to help you discern the pros and cons of each and how they can help you navigate your divorce journey. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Your Emotions Are Your Biggest Enemy in 2021 – Episode 123 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. High emotions are common in divorce. After all, this is your family so who would expect you not to be upset. It is in this emotional state that many people hire an “aggressive” attorney or try to negotiate with their ex about the kids or money. This usually doesn’t go well. And the Court expects you to behave well even if you're upset, so sometimes you can actually end up hurting your case. Join us now to learn how to avoid these emotional pitfalls. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Don’t Let the Turkeys Get You Down in 2021 – Episode 122 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I think we all agree that 2020 was a really rough year. If you’ve been going through a divorce or breakup in the midst of everything else going on in the world, then it’s been an even rougher year! In this episode, we’ll talk about creating your vision for 2021 and things you can do to ensure that 2021 is not a repeat of 2020. We’ll help you move away from your past and toward your future. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Helping Your Children with Transitions – Episode 121 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The transition between two homes can be emotional for children. Depending on the child and their age, they may say they don’t want to go, they may cry, or have a fit. So, when should you worry? Should you ask your child why they don’t want to go? These strategies can often backfire, but there are many things you can do to help your child have a smoother transition. Join us now to learn these strategies! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Build Your Cocoon – Episode 120 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we go through a divorce or separation, our relationship has typically hit a stage where the other person is toxic to us. Yet, we are often a glutton for punishment and continue to engage, often through conflict. It’s important for your own well-being that you learn to apply techniques to insulate yourself from the bullying, manipulation, control, or other toxic behaviors from your ex. Let’s start building your cocoon! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Level Up Your Parenting – Episode 119 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Parenting is different after divorce and many times, parents to struggle to find the new norm. Sometimes, we try to wait until the situation “calms down” and think it will be easier for everyone if we wait to make changes. Or, we try to “protect” the kids from issues with the other parent. But, both of these approaches often backfire. The key is to level up your parenting. Listen now to learn how. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Don’t Wish for Things to Be Easier – Episode 118 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We sometimes develop of a habit of wishing our lives away. We wish for things to be easier, to get better. We hope that the future will have less struggle. But we forget that the struggle is part of what shapes us and builds our character. So, what if we wished to become better, stronger individuals capable of embracing the struggle, finding the seed of wisdom and knowledge in the struggle. Join us as we help you find the strengths that have developed in you through the struggle of divorce and co-parenting. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

How to Solve Any Divorce Disagreement – Episode 117 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you having a conflict with your ex and cannot seem to escape the constant battle with your ex? In this episode, we will discuss tactics you can use to diffuse any argument that comes up with your ex. Join us as we share our favorite resources for solving any divorce disagreement. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist! – Episode 116 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you co-parenting with a narcissist? Many of us have exes that aren’t necessarily diagnosed with narcissism but who definitely exhibit behaviors associated with narcissism. Narcissists are a special breed and there are definite do’s and don’ts when co-parenting, especially if the Court hasn’t yet tumbled to the fact that they are dealing with a narcissist! Boundaries are important and you have to educate yourself on an effective way to draw those boundaries. Join us as we share our favorite resources for dealing with a narcissistic co-parent. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Knowledge is Power! – Episode 115 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Knowledge is power, but divorce is a specific type of knowledge. How do you educate yourself in the right way about divorce? It’s helpful to seek advice, but the wrong kind of advice can create an epic battle between you and your ex. In this episode, we’ll share our best resources for educating yourself on the divorce process, what to expect, and how to navigate the post-divorce minefield. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Stories from the Battlefield! – Episode 114 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we share stories of how we’ve seen clients succeed and fail during their divorce cases. Your family and their future are on the line so it’s important for you to understand the key building blocks of a successful divorce outcome. It’s also valuable when you can learn from other’s mistakes. Failure isn’t an option for most of us when it comes to our family. So, let’s get you on the path to success! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

What Do You Really Want? – Episode 113 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many people going through divorce re-evaluate their life. Divorce creates a “clean slate” that allows you to rebuild the life you choose. But how can we get focused? How do we create long term goals while solving all of the temporary problems that must be solved when divorce hits. We’re here to support you and help you regain your self-confidence so you can find creative solutions to your current obstacles and build your path to true freedom. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Easing Kids Into a Parenting Schedule – Episode 112 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce is a major transition for the entire family. So, how do you help your kids adjust? Is it best to try and ease your kids into a schedule or should you just tear off the band-aid and fully implement a schedule. There are pros and cons no matter how you choose to do it. Every family is different and every child is different. In this episode, we’ll share wisdom on how to create a plan that works for your entire family! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Decision Making in Divorce – Episode 111 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Do you have decision fatigue? Making decisions during divorce are particularly difficult because emotions are running high. In addition, the decisions required of you are often of a critical nature because they involve family, finances, and our future. So, how do you deal with all the emotions and rid yourself of brain fog so that you can make quality decisions that will serve you? Join us now to learn more. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Managing Your Ex’s View of Your World – Episode 110 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In order to achieve peace in your post-divorce life, it’s important to have strong boundaries. We want our ex’s to have a view of our world that communicates that we’re doing great, even though that is sometimes an illusion. But illusion or not, it’s important in achieving a separate world where you have your family life and they have theirs. In this episode, we’ll teach you how to pave the road for a happy post-divorce life and coparenting relationship. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

High Conflict and the Dreaded Attribution – Episode 109 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people that have high conflict relationship and subsequent high conflict breakups are guilty of one common practice. We call it the dreaded attribution. It’s important to understand this concept when it comes to disagreements with anyone in your life, but particularly your spouse or partner. Attributions often escalate an already intense argument into a full-blown battle. In this episode, we’ll teach you how to identify attributions and how to avoid them! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

How to Stop the Argument that Never Ends – Episode 108 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is this how your arguments with your ex feel? As if your life has become one long, exhausting, constant argument? Good news! There is a solution and it begins with figuring out your argumentative style. Join us as we help you find your style and the more importantly, the solution. And thankfully the solution doesn’t require your ex’s cooperation. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Should I Hire an Aggressive Attorney – Episode 107 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We often hear people talk of needing an “aggressive attorney”. Let’s face it, we all have a friend or family member that knows the perfect aggressive attorney that will make our ex pay. But should you go that route? How do you know what attorney is right for you? Is it possible to hire an attorney and not lose complete control of your case? We answer all this and more in this week’s episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Stop Being Afraid! – Episode 106 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce is a life event that is full of change, uncertainty and fear. So many people become paralyzed by their fears, and yet divorce is also a time full of serious decision making. If you feel stuck or feel like no decision is better than a bad decision, then this episode is a must listen for you! We’re going to help you punch fear in the face and move forward with bold confidence! Are you ready? For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Stop the Madness! – Episode 105 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Has your court case become a runaway freight train? Are you up to your eyeballs in attorney fees? We often see this problem after people have become weary from the extended battle of divorce. The good news is, you can stop the insanity. Are you ready to learn how? For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Forging Your Alliance – In Episode 104 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we take an in depth look at how to forge an alliance with your ex. In episode 101, we talked about your ex being your natural ally in divorce but in this episode, we’ll dive in to how to actually create that alliance. And the good news is, there are things you can do to start building that alliance even if your ex isn’t on board yet. Trust us, these tips will work if you apply them over the long haul with consistency! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Remembering Your Wedding Day – In Episode 103 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about looking back on our wedding day. I know what you’re thinking. What?! Why would I want to remember that! Actually this reflection, although sometimes painful, can give you some great insight int handling your divorce and creating your future. Join us as we also share our experiences. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Leaving an Abusive Spouse – In Episode 102 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we give you some things to think about in planning your exit. Leaving is never an easy decision, but neither is staying in an abusive relationship. We have seen many cases where people struggled more after leaving due to lack of planning in advance. We discuss, timelines, the Court process, and try to give you an overview of what to expect. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

In Every Divorce, Your Ex Is Your Natural Ally – In Episode 101 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss your natural ally in any divorce, your ex. Say what? Well, we know this sounds a bit crazy but if you really think through what you want out of your divorce, you’ll realize that you and your ex share more goals than you and your attorney, you and your children, or you and any other expert in your case. Don’t believe us? Join us now to learn how you can use this to your advantage. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Collateral Damage – In Episode 100 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about collateral damage in divorce. Collateral damage in divorce usually comes in the form of destroyed relationships including your ex, your kids, and even friends and family. And yet, most people are so focused on other aspects of the divorce such as the parenting schedule, support, and division of assets that they don’t realize they need to protect their family from the collateral damage. Even if you have an attorney, the attorney’s focus is on the core legal aspects of your case, not your relationships. So, can you accomplish resolution of your case while minimizing the collateral damage. Absolutely! We’ll show you how. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Parenting During Coronavirus – in Episode 99 we talk about co-parenting during the coronavirus pandemic. What do you do if the other parent doesn’t take enough precautions? Should you continue to follow your current Court orders? Should you stop transitioning your child between homes? Join us as we answer these and other common questions we’ve received over the past few months. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

No Pain, No Gain – in Episode 98 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about that famous saying we’ve all heard “no pain, no gain”. During divorce, no doubt we have all experienced emotional pain. But are there benefits to that pain? Where can we find the “gain”? Join us as we help you find the silver linings of divorce. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Can I Save This Marriage? – in Episode 97 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about saving marriages and what situations or behaviors lead to a struggling marriage. We dive into our own experience in our marriage that is successful and our past marriages that have ended. It takes two people to have a successful marriage. We dive into habits that you and your spouse can form or get rid of to help save your marriage. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Using Humor to Help You Have Difficult Conversations – In Episode 96, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about using humor in certain situations to help lower conflict and stress in difficult conversations. We know divorce isn’t exactly a funny topic, but as the old saying goes, if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. So, why not try some of our tips on injecting humor into this difficult situation. It will make it easier for you, your spouse, and anyone else involved in your case. Honestly, it’s the main tool we use on a daily basis to help us maintain our sanity in this chaotic work. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

How to Get the Best Result in Divorce Mediation – In Episode 95, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk divorce mediation. Mediation is a great alternative to the typical divorce process and mediation nearly always succeeds in resolving the issues if you have a skilled, knowledgeable mediator. An experienced mediator can provide you with the education and information you need to make optimal decisions and can help you resolve almost any dispute by facilitating the conversation. Join us as we share how to get the best results possible in your mediation process. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

When Should I Introduce My Kids to My New Mate? – In Episode 94, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk new mates. People often ask about if, when, and how they should introduce new mates to their children. We find that ex-spouses often disagree on this issue and new mates often create a hiccup in co-parenting at a time when things were just starting to calm down. Join Tammy and Thomas as they share their own experience as well as what they’ve seen go right for clients and what they’ve seen go very wrong. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

7 Tips to Deal with Uncertainty - In Episode 93, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about uncertainty, which most people find to be an uncomfortable feeling. Uncertainty often accompanies change and as you know, divorce is all about change, and lot’s of it! So, how do you deal with uncertainty when your anxiety, stress, and emotions are out of control. Join Tammy and Thomas as they share practical strategies to help you cut through the uncertainty and get your life back on solid ground. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Can This Marriage Be Saved? - In Episode 92, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about the possibility of saving marriage even though it’s been pushed to the brink of divorce. In a large percentage of cases, one spouse does not want the divorce. But can your marriage be saved or are you holding on to false hope? Listen now as we look at characteristics that we feel are key indicators of whether or not a marriage can be rescued from the brink of divorce. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Are You Ready For Your Court-Sponsored Child Custody Mediation? - In Episode 91, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about child custody mediation that is conducted by the Court, not a private mediator. Whether your Court system keeps the mediation private or has the mediator report to the Judge, there are certain things you should do and say and certain things you should not. If you want things to go your way, you need to be prepared with an effective strategy for communicating your desires and concerns involving your children. Listen now as we share our insights from years of coaching hundreds of parents in preparing for custody mediation. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Difficult Conversations - In Episode 90, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about the difficult conversations that are often part of divorce. Maybe you are making “the announcement” or maybe your negotiating finances or a parenting schedule. Or maybe, you need to talk about the difficulty one of your children is having. Regardless, these types of conversations are particularly difficult during divorce when emotions run high. Listen now as we share tips and advice to help your conversations remain calm and effective. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

It All Starts With Your Thoughts - In Episode 89, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we dive inward to look at common internal thoughts people have during a divorce or breakup. Your thoughts can often be your own worst enemy. They can lead you to say and do things that hurt you, your ex, your kids, and your Court case. Listen now to learn about the damage these thoughts can do and more importantly, how you can stop them. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Co-Parents! Written Communication Is Better - In Episode 88, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about why it is imperative for co-parents to use written communication. This is especially important if you have a high-conflict relationship with your ex. Written communication can even give you an advantage in your Court case, if you are communicating correctly. Join us now to learn what you should and shouldn’t do when communicating with your co-parent. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Is Litigation Killing You? – In Episode 87, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the most common problem in the industry that no one wants to talk about, litigation. Litigation can cause major rifts between families and hurt feelings or damaged relationships for years to come. Worst of all, it can be especially damaging for children going through the process. But why is litigation so damaging? Why do alternative options have less conflict? What can be gained for your life by avoiding the litigation process? Listen in for the answer to these questions. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Do I Need A Divorce Coach? - In Episode 86, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the most under utilized divorce professional in the industry, a Divorce Coach. What is a divorce coach and how do you know if you need one? A divorce coach can be an invaluable resource in almost any divorce, if you find the right one. And unlike your attorney, they have no vested interest in making the situation take longer or be more expensive. Listen now to learn how you can gain a great advantage in your case and your life by relying on an experienced Divorce Coach. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

The Right of First Refusal - In Episode 85, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss a common Court order in many parenting plans, the “Right of First Refusal”. If you don’t know what that is, then this a must-listen episode for you. A Right of First Refusal, at first glance, seems logical and good for the kids. But there are many aspects of this arrangement to explore. If you have a particularly controlling or manipulative ex, then a right of first refusal can backfire unexpectedly. Join us now as we explore whether you should or shouldn’t ask for a right of first refusal in your own Court orders. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Moving On From Divorce - In Episode 84, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the difficulty of moving on after divorce. Many people feel stuck emotionally, financially, and in their co-parenting. We’ll discuss how you can deal with all of these issues in a way that helps you create a post-divorce life that is free from the interference of your ex. Join us now as we help you create a happy, peaceful future. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

My Kids Are Saying……… - In Episode 83, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the kids and the things they say about the other parent or the other parent’s home. Often, it’s TMI and you can find yourself thrown back into the emotional rollercoaster of divorce. So, what do you do? You want your kids to feel heard and feel like they can talk to you. But how do we know if what they are saying is accurate? And how do we know if we need to be concerned? Join us now as we explore this delicate issue and how to handle concerns in tactful way. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Verbal and Emotional Abuse - In Episode 82, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the number one complaint we hear about relationships, verbal and emotional abuse. Courts are concerned about abuse, but abuse that comes in the verbal and emotional form is much harder to prove. This often leaves the person being abused with no real resource to deal with it except for their own management of it. Often, when verbal and emotional abuse was present in the marriage, it will remain present in the post-divorce relationship. So, how can you help the Court understand what’s happening on what steps can you take to stop it? Join us now as we explore this complex issue. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

What's Love Got To Do With It? - In Episode 81, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss love. Now, I know you’re thinking it’s odd for divorce professionals talk about love. But trust us, we see what love IS NOT, all day, every day. And if you’re like us, and you’ve come out of a high-conflict or unloving relationship, it can be difficult to recognize true love. So, how do you know? Join us now as we share our perspectives on this complicated issue. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Long Distance Parenting - In Episode 80, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss Long Distance Parenting. Are you a Mom or Dad struggling to bond with your child over a long distance? Or perhaps your trying to help maintain the connection between your child and the other parent, who lives far away. We’ve seen many clients navigate this issue and we’ve had some recent experience in our own situation. We’ll share our best tips to help you make sure your bonded to your child, no matter the distance. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

I Want My Divorce to Be Done, So What’s Taking So Long? - In Episode 79, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the timeframe for a typical divorce, which is usually shocking for most people. We’ll dive into the two stages of every divorce process and share the one thing everyone can do to speed up the Court process. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Become A Relationship Ninja - In Episode 78, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the relationship warfare that overtakes many divorcing families. Are you approaching your relationships in a way that encourages battle? Or perhaps your fighting the completely wrong battle? How can you tell? We discuss ways to end the war and nurture your family and your relationships.. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Overcoming Blaming Others - In Episode 77, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the bad habit of blaming others for our problems. Do you have this problem? You may not think so but we’ll give you some questions to ask yourself so you can find out if you have this tendency. We discuss how to stop blaming others and shift yourself into a positive mindset. This shift will give you hope for the future instead of keeping you stuck in the past. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Holding On to Hope - In Episode 76, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss having hope. Hope is generally thought of as a positive feeling, but it can work against you if you are holding out hope for the wrong things or for the wrong reasons. Sometimes hope exists because your brain is trying to protect you from pain or hurt. Do you have hope? Is it good hope? Bad hope? Should you have it? Listen now to find out. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do - In Episode 75, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the emotional difficulty of breaking up. We often hold on to the old relationship through conflict or begging for reconciliation. Once we do start to move on, we often repeat old patterns by selecting a new partner with similar behavior patterns to our old partner. So how do you heal yourself and move forward into a happy, healthy relationship? Listen now to find out. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

What Does A Good Marriage Even Look Like? - In Episode 74, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we remarriage after divorce. Often, divorcing people have been in a high-conflict or dissatisfying marriage and don’t even know what it’s like to be in a good marriage. Second marriages fail at even higher rates than first marriages so we must learn from our past mistakes if we want a happy marriage the second time around. We discuss commitment, humor and most importantly why thing must be done very differently in regard to children. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real - In Episode 73, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about fear in divorce. Fear is a common human emotion that is meant to protect us but what happens when the fear becomes overwhelming? Fear takes many forms in divorce: stress, anxiety, worry. We worry about finances, we worry about our kids but you don’t have to let fear dominate your divorce. We’ll help you break through the fear so you can make good decisions during this difficult transition. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Where Do Your Kids Want to Live, and Should You Care? In Episode 72, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about how to honor our children’s preferences about where they live after divorce. What do your kids need from you? How do you create stability for them? What happens when one parent is trying to manipulate the situation? Should you ask the children where they want to live? Why or Why Not? Join us for all this and more! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Out of the Mouth of Babes - In this BONUS Episode, we decided to give you a more personal look at divorce from the viewpoint of children, specifically our own. We have invited our four boys to join us in studio this week to share their experiences of our divorces. Tammy’s two sons, Dalton, age 29, Kevin, age 24 and Thomas’ two sons, Isaiah, age 16 and Isaac, age 15 talk about the impact our divorces had on them. The boys were 15, 11, 2, and 1 at the time of our divorces and given their wide range of ages, they saw things very differently. We also talk about new stepparents joining the mix and becoming a blended family. This episode is a bit long given that there are six of us but it’s totally unscripted and full of great insights! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

What Is Your Divorce Goal? In Episode 71, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we look at goal setting within the context of divorce. A New Year often brings resolutions but that’s different than goals. You may wonder how goal setting can help you manage divorce. We share some statistics that may surprise you. Goal setting is something that anyone can do and the impact it can have on your future and happiness is immeasurable. Join us now for deeper look into this issue. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Do You Want to Win Your Case or Feel Heard? In Episode 70, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our human desire to feel heard and understand which unfortunately, does not necessarily help us win our Court case. The Court approaches our case from a very logical perspective that applies the law without emotion. We typically have a completely emotional approach. When we proceed from emotion, one of two things happen, we either lose our case or the Court cuts us off and won’t let us express our emotions. Even when people “win” they are often upset if they don’t feel like the Judge “listened” to them. Understanding this concept is critical to winning in Court. Join us now for deeper look into this issue. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Co-Parenting Teenagers - In Episode 69 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we explore the unique aspects of co-parenting teenagers. Being the parent of a teen is already full of daily challenges, but co-parenting adds another layer of difficulty. Differences in the two homes are often an aspect that the teenager is aware enough to use for their own benefit. Whether you’re struggling to get them to listen or you just want them to participate in family life, we share our best tips for divorced parents of teens. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Are You In the Divorce Box or Riding the Wave? In Episode 68 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we bring a different perspective on the ever-changing process of divorce. All Tammy’s fellow type A personalities will relate to this episode and frankly, so will the type B’s thanks to Thomas! Divorce is a fluid period in your life and we all have to learn to ride the wave of change. Join us as we share our best strategies for keeping you out of the box and riding the wave! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

To Date or Not To Date? In Episode 67 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about the pleasures and perils of dating after divorce. While our own situation is unique, we do not recommend our approach for everyone. There are definitely bad reasons to date right away, which we’ll discuss. We also talk about job one, healing yourself, and how to gain some perspective that will help you figure out when the time is right for you. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Digging Holes in the Sand…… In Episode 66 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about digging holes in the sand with your kids, which is an example of how to be an awesome Mom or Dad. We all have a tendency during divorce to focus on our ex and what they are or aren’t doing with and for our children. But the most important thing you can do at this stage is build relationship with your kids. And best of all, it’s the key to winning your child custody issues. So, how do you do that? Well, it looks a lot different than it did before the divorce or breakup. Join us now as we share our experiences. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Are You a Co-Dependent? In Episode 65 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about one of the most common labels we hear in divorce, “Narcissist”. But people often fail to understand why they are with a Narcissistic Personality type and what part they play in that dynamic. Many people who are in a relationship with a narcissist are themselves a co-dependent. Why is it important to understand this? As the say, those who don’t learn history are doomed to repeat it. Join us now to learn how to help break the cycle of a Narcissistic-Co-Dependent relationship. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Are You or Your Attorney Drinking from a Firehose? In Episode 64 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about what it feels like to drink from a firehose. Have you had this experience? People going through a divorce often want to tell their whole story and provide their attorney or the Court with an overabundance of information. When the droplet of information the Court needs is in the middle of an overpowering stream of water, it usually gets lost in the flood. Join us now to learn how to increase your chances of success in Court by presenting concise information to your attorney and the Court. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

What Is the Court’s Agenda in a Divorce? In Episode 63 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about the Court’s agenda in a divorce case versus our own agenda. We often expect the Court to deal with problems, that frankly, either they don’t address or aren’t able to solve. We often expect the Court to be fair and reasonable and to handle our difficult ex. But is that what’s on the Court’s agenda? Tune in now to find out! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

How to Defeat Loneliness. In Episode 62 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about loneliness, a feeling that is common in divorce. Divorce pulls apart the family and shuffles our children between the homes. You suddenly find yourself having days of no spouse and no kids. So, what do you do with yourself? Join us as we explore solutions to this problem! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

Is Your Spouse Having a Midlife Crisis? In Episode 61 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we answer your questions about midlife crisis. What is a midlife crisis and what causes it? What can you do to help your spouse? What can you do to help yourself? Frequently we want to talk to our spouse about the relationship, but that’s actually one of the worst things you can do when you are dealing with a spouse in midlife crisis. Tune in now to learn more about midlife crisis. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com Thank you for listening!

What can we learn from #Ellen about kindness? In Episode 60 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss Ellen's recent stance on kindness and how she's been attacked in the media for it. More importantly, we dive into the similarities between these events and divorce. How can you model Ellen's behavior to help you in your divorce or child custody case? Tune in now to find out! For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

How Can I Protect My Kids? In Episode 59 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our desire as parents to protect our kids, particularly during divorce. We all want to minimize the negative impact of divorce, whether it’s protecting them from the divorce process or protecting their health, safety and welfare when they are with the other parent. In some circumstances, we may even need the Court’s help in protecting the children. Listen in to understand your options and to learn how you can use the divorce to have a positive impact on your kids. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Help! The Fighting Never Ends! In Episode 58 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the four main types of high-conflict personalities. High-Conflict Personalities are seen frequently in divorce cases and often have a history of repeated appearances in front of the Court that never seem to end. We share strategies to help you deal with them in Court and in your day-to-day life. Join us now to stop the madness! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

What Is Parallel Parenting? In Episode 57 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the concept of parallel parenting. If you’re not familiar with this term and you have continuing conflict with your co-parent, then this is a must-listen episode for you. Parallel parenting is the best way to eliminate co-parenting conflict, particularly in the early period following the divorce or breakup. As a parent, conflict is one of the most harmful things you can expose your children to so taking immediate steps to minimize or eliminate conflict is critical. Join us now to learn how! For more information please
visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

What Do You Want On Your Tombstone? In Episode 56 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss tombstones. Ok, we know it sounds a bit morbid but you’ll love hearing our favorite funny ones. More importantly, we discuss legacy and how your current choices in your divorce will help to create the legacy you leave for your family, be it good or bad. Listen now to learn steps you can take to create a lasting legacy of love, life and impact regardless of your current situation. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

My Ex Is A Liar! In Episode 55 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how to handle an ex that continually lies. Why do they lie? What do you do if they are even willing to lie to the Court? If their lying is working, should you lie too? Most importantly, how do you take down a liar? We answer all your questions about liars in this episode. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

So, You Think Your Ex Is Crazy? In Episode 54 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how to handle crazy exes with high-conflict personalities such as Narcissist and Borderline. We’ll give you strategies for dealing with these impossible personalities and help you insulate yourself from the insanity! Listen now to give a try. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Why Am I Losing My Custody Case? In Episode 53 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss what happens when you aren’t getting the results you want in your custody case. It’s easy to blame your attorney, your ex, or even the Court. The problem is, you have no control over any of those people involved in your case. So, what can you do? The one thing you have control of is you. We’re going to give you specific strategies to turn the tables on your custody case using the only thing you have control of, your own behavior and actions. Listen now to give a try. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Pride Goeth Before Destruction, In Episode 52 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how pride, especially in divorce, creates the sense that “I’m the only on” or “you don’t know my ex”. We tend to feel like our situation is so much harder or more difficult than the next persons. When you can begin to cultivate humility instead of pride, you begin to see your situation in a more objective way which allows you to identify your part in the conflict. This allows you to have more charitable feelings toward your ex. And why do you want this? Because it’s the key to breaking free from the pain and frustration of divorce. Don’t believe us? Listen now to give a try. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Feelings – Yours, Mine, and Ours! In Episode 51 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the root of many problems before, during and after divorce, feelings. Feelings around divorce are a constant rollercoaster, one day you’re happy your ex is gone, the next you feel angry about it, and the next you are in total grief and crying about it. Sound familiar? Yeah, we’ve been there too. So, what do you do? It’s not like you can just turn off your faucet of feelings Join us now to learn how to slow the emotional rollercoaster and the reasons why you should never share your feelings with your ex! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

It’s All About Control! In Episode 50 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our human need for control, which is at the heart of conflict in many divorce cases. Many times the conflict shifts from trying to influence your spouse to trying to influence the Court. And the Court often becomes a “superparent” in these battles. So, how do you stop the struggle for control and minimize the Court’s management of your family life. Join us as we share our best strategies, especially if you are a fellow “control enthusiast”. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Vindication: The Heart of Post-Divorce Conflict. In Episode 49 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our human need for vindication. We see it in almost every case and it’s natural. More importantly, it’s the driving force behind a vast majority of high-conflict Court battles. If vindication is what so many are seeking, why is it we rarely see the Court process satisfy this need? It all comes down to what the Court can’t control in this process. What is that? Listen now to find out! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

No Fault Divorce…….Really? In Episode 48 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we look back on the evolution of “no fault divorce” and examine how the shift to no fault divorce changed the divorce process. What was the idea behind the “no fault” revolution? Did it accomplish what the Court’s were trying to accomplish. Do we really have “no fault” divorce? How did this influence the battleground we see in today’s divorce process? Join us to understand the history of no fault divorce and how it continues to impact today’s divorce process. Listen now! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Cover Your……..Monkey’s Butt! In Episode 47 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss three specific action that make you look like a “monkey’s butt” to the Court and to your ex. Why should you care? Because this can have a significant impact on your case. We also discuss what you can do to turn it around if you’ve made mistakes that leave the Court thinking you are the problem instead of your difficult ex! Listen now to find out! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Got Parental Alienation? In Episode 46 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the devastation that is parental alienation. As much as we would love to think one parent would never do this to another, it happens. So what should you do? How do you handle this? And, more importantly, what shouldn’t you do? The Court often has difficulty dealing with this issue and that’s why your own actions and reactions become even more important if the other parent is trying to alienate you. But, have hope, there are things you can do. So, what are they? Listen now to find out! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Why Won’t the Pain Stop?! In Episode 45 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the pain that is divorce. We always say that if a person has never been through a divorce, you can’t possibly explain the extreme emotional pain of it. We often try to (unknowingly) hold on to the relationship and since we are divorcing, the only way to do that is through negative contact, or pain. This results in conflict and sometimes people use the Court system to play out that conflict in an effort to “win”, which they think will stop the pain. If you think about it, it’s ironic to expect a Court result to make you happy. So, how do you know if you’re holding on and what can you do about it? For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

DON’T Behave the Way You Feel! In Episode 44 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how important it is for you to behave differently than you feel. Let’s face it, we are often filled with grief and extreme emotion at a point where the Court is expecting “Adult Behavior” from us. You can’t always control the way you feel but there are things you can do to help you control the way you behave. Although a divorce or breakup can feel like a tearing down process, it’s often a turning point for us to build up a new life. Join us as we explore how you can create a new life from what feels like ashes from the old life. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

REVENGE: We All Want It! In Episode 43 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the most common feeling we see in working with divorcing clients, the desire for revenge. While we aren’t always willing to admit this feeling, we definitely all have it on some level. We have the need for revenge because we all want vindication, whether it’s financial or emotional. So, what can you do? How do deal with those feelings in a way that helps you move forward in your own life and happiness? Listen now to find out! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

The Five Stages of Divorce Grief Recovery. In Episode 42 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the emotional process of moving through divorce which in effect, is a process of grieving. If you are familiar with the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, you’ll recognize our discussion around the 5 stages. No matter what stage you’re at, you’ll recognize parts of yourself and current emotional processing. We’ll also share tips on how to move quickly through to the other side of grief, where you can reclaim your joy! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Wisdom from on High – 5 Biblical Quotes to Live By After Divorce or Separation. In Episode 41 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we share our 5 favorite biblical verses that helped us personally during our divorces. Divorce is not easy regardless of which religious beliefs you hold. However, the Bible can provide us with some comfort and wisdom to help us understand how to deal with what is happening to our marriage and our family relationships and how to forge a path forward into the unknown. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

One Powerful Idea to Revolutionize Your Co-Parenting Relationship. In Episode 40 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we analyze the difficulties of co-parenting. How do you deal with conflict? How do you get privacy from your ex and get them to leave you alone? Most parents are frustrated with their co-parent and the manipulation that is often used by one of the parties to cause the other parent as much grief as possible. How do you create a boundary that protects your sanity and allows you to have a loving and nurturing relationship with your kids? Join us as we share one powerful idea to help you get there! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Do You Know the ONE Resource That Will Turn the Tables on Your Divorce? In Episode 39 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we help you assess what you actually want from your post-divorce life and how to get it. Most people utilize resources such as aggressive lawyers, financial experts and therapists to try to help them get to their post-divorce life. Often, these resources keep you stuck in the mire of divorce. So, what’s the one resource that can help move you forward? Listen now to find out! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

How can you combat post-divorce grief? In Episode 38 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we examine the different areas of our lives that grief can creep into following a divorce. In our experience working with clients, this is an area that everyone struggles with. We’ll also each share how this affected each of andus personally, professionally, and on the homefront during our divorces 13 years ago. More importantly, we’ll give you tools you can use to overcome this overwhelmingly painful part of the process and get back to life! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

How do you handle the religious training of children after divorce? In Episode 37 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we walk you through many of the struggles co-parents have around this issue. What if one of you isn’t religious or doesn’t attend church? What if you have different religions? How do you talk to the kids about attending separate churches post break-up? And what do you do for special church events? There are workable solutions as we’ve discovered in our 12 years of co-parenting. Join us now as we help you navigate this potential conflict! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 36 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 36, I Am Not a Victim, we help you reframe the mindset that traps many of us during divorce. It’s common to feel that your spouse destroyed your family by having affairs, spending excessively, constantly criticizing or whatever other issues broke down your marriage. This puts us in a mindset of “I can’t because” and when we start saying those words, we become weak, full of self-doubt, and vulnerable to continuing attacks from our ex. Wouldn’t you rather feel strong, confident and immune to feelings about your ex and their shenanigans? Listen now as we help you transition from self-doubt to confidence! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 35 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 35, Understanding Attorney Retainers, Fees, and Billing, we try to remove the confusion around attorney fees. Many divorcing people have never had a prior need for legal services and don’t understand an attorney retainer or how it works. Furthermore, they don’t understand how billing and fees are charged to them and are often shocked when they receive the first bill from their attorney. In this episode we demystify the retainer, hourly billing rates, and how clients are charged during the divorce process. We also give you tips on ways you can leverage your attorney’s time and save some money by using their time wisely. Listen now as we help you find your way through the financial jargon. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 34 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 34, Divorce Court Process Flyover – Understanding the Basics, we talk about the legal process that everyone goes through during divorce. It’s important to have a basic understanding of the process so that you can make decisions regarding your case. Divorce is a lawsuit that involves pleadings, motions, discovery, and trial. For most people this part alone feels overwhelming. Confused yet? Listen now as we help you find your way through the legal mud. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening! Episode 34 Resources: Writing Declarations E-Book by Thomas D. Ferreira. Link to purchase: https://su243.infusionsoft.com/app/manageCart/addProduct?productId=10

Welcome to Episode 33 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 33, What Are Your Divorce Superpowers?, we talk about common feelings we all have during divorce such as anxiety, anger, fear, and depression. Then, we help you discover the divorce superpower lurking inside of you that will help you fight those enemies. Finding your inner Superman or Wonderwoman is easier than you think. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening! Episode 33 Resources: The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman

Welcome to Episode 32 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 32, The Number One Divorce Secret: It Will Be Better Tomorrow, we talk about the crisis of divorce that almost every single person experience including the strong illusion that your current misery will last forever. Fortunately, it won’t. Divorce is a transition to a new life. But how do you get to that new life? What steps can you take to get out of the misery and get excited about your future? Join us as we help you connect with family, friends, and maybe a new version of yourself that you never knew existed! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening! Episode 32 Resources: www.divorcebusting.com and book Divorce Busting by Michele Weiner-Davis

Welcome to Episode 31 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 31, Four Weapons That Demolish Post-Separation Negativity, we talk about the common cycle of negativity often see in newly separated people. Hurt, anger, and resentment are common emotions in divorce and unfortunately, many people stay stuck in those emotions for extended periods of time. Often our exes are the target of these negative feelings but staying stuck actually hurts you way more than it hurts them. But unless you have a magic wand, you may be like us and struggle to move forward in a positive way that helps you reclaim your life and your happiness! In this episode, we’ll give you four key tools to help you put the past behind you and move forward to find your post-divorce joy. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 30 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 30, How to Turn Around a Bad Child Custody Situation, we talk about what to do if you have a restraining order, are on supervised visitation, or just have less parenting time than you wanted. Thomas always says child custody is a marathon not a sprint and we’re going to help you run that marathon in a way that will help you get more parenting time. We’ll discuss how to build a closer relationship with your child with the time you currently have and how to increase the trust between you and your co-parent. We’ll even discuss strategies for shifting the “black hat” from you to your co-parent in your court situation if the court is currently seeing you as the problem. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 29 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 29, The Secret to Healthy Post-Divorce Relationships, we talk about what caused the misery in our previous relationship, how we can get ourselves emotionally healthy, and how not to get ourselves into the same situation all over again! If you’re anything like us, you definitely have no desire to repeat the past! Understanding dependence, independence, and interdependence and how they all work together to form a healthy relationship is the first step. Join us this week for an in-depth discussion on how to create your emotionally healthy post-divorce life. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 28 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 28, Five Resolutions to Transform You After Divorce, we talk about how maddening the divorce process is for most people. It is inherently negative and therefore, easily framed in negative ways by those of us going through it. Unfortunately, the Court process only perpetuates more negativity. But what if there was a way to turn the tables on that process and find your joy again? Divorce is an opportunity to find yourself or even reinvent yourself. What is important to you? What do you enjoy? Join us as we discuss how to find the positive even in this negative situation. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 27 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 27, Courts Can’t Change Your Ex, we talk about most peoples’ desire for the Court to know what’s going on in their situation. Courts are really good at managing big issues but not so good at managing the day-to-day aspects of relationships. So, what do you do? Join us as we talk about solutions to the day-to-day issues and steps you can take to help you manage aspects of your case and dealing with your ex even when the Court can’t really help you. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 26 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 26, The Shot Heard ‘Round the World, we talk about how an aggressive stance is a recipe for heartache and expense in any divorce case. A conflict of interest exists for an attorney in any divorce case because the more conflict there is, the more money they make. How well do you know your attorney and understand what motivates their decision making? Breaking up is difficult for almost everyone but the choices you make at the outset can have a lasting impact on your divorce matter. You need to develop the appropriate strategy before you start “firing” the bullets in your gun. Listen now to find out what strategy will best serve you and your family. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 25 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 25, Step-Parenting, Family Life's Most Thankless Gig we talk about the difficulty of incorporating new mates into a divorced family. We share some of our own experiences and discuss common questions. How much authority should your new mate have with the kids? How do you get the kids and your ex-spouse on board with the new relationship? Join us as we share our own mistakes and help you avoid common pitfalls. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 24 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 24, Communication 201 - Examples of Effective Communication we dive into concrete examples of communication between coparents and explain how we would revise the communication and why we recommend the changes. These examples are designed to help you model your own communication and create more cooperative and peaceful communication with your coparent. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 23 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 23 we discuss “Communication, A Vital Co-Parenting Skill”. Are you wearing the black or white hat in your custody case? In this episode, we discuss how to eliminate conflict, defensiveness, and how to let your ex “be the crazy one”. We’ll also dive into ways you can get the parenting schedule you really want! For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 22 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 22 we discuss “Care and Feeding of Attorneys” Of course, you want to get as much value as you can from you attorney by leveraging their knowledge and expertise, but how? Join us as we discuss shoeboxes, developing a plan, and taking charge of your case. We’ll also dive into ways you can help your attorney help you! For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 21 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 21 we discuss “How Much Does All of This Really Cost?” Obviously, divorce is a financial disaster for almost everyone and concerns about how much more cost will be involved in the divorce process itself, is a very common question. We’ll will discuss the different methods of moving through divorce including self-representation, mediation, and using attorneys. We’ll also dive into ways you can save money regardless of which process you choose and how to preserve as much of your estate as possible for building your post-divorce life. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 20 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 20 we talk about child custody from the point of view of the child, and how these conflict and court battles can affect your child. We also go into detail about how you can shield your child from these conflicts and why it is important to do so. Listen in to understand more about how this process can affect your child and how to mitigate that. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 19 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 19, I’m Restrained from seeing My Children, How Can I Get My Kids Back?, We talk about being in one of the most difficult situations a parent can be in, and that is not being able to see their children. We talk you through one of the most important factors of pulling the case back to your side, and that is staying calm. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 18 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 18, Are Your Emotions Causing You to Lose Your Case? We talk about how your emotions can take control of your case and cost you time and money spent in the court room. We also talk about how it may affect a judges decision making on your case. Tune in to learn how to avoid mistakes when dealing with emotions. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 17 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 17, Men Are Narcissist, Women Are Borderline. In this Episode we discuss the prevalence of personality disorders in divorce and how having a spouse with a personality disorder impacts the divorce process and outcomes. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 16 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 16, Help, My Spouse is Having an Affair!, What Should I Do? We talk about the best strategies to impose when you find out that your spouse is having an affair. It is vital to the outcome of this situation that you react in an appropriate manner for the sake of the children and the outcome of your marriage. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 15 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 15, How to Be Nice When You Don’t Want To, we have discussed why being nice and staying civil is healthy for your case and your children. In this episode we discuss tactics on how to keep this premise, regardless of how your ex may act towards you. Keeping your head on straight is one of the most important factors in court appearances! For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 14 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 14, Preparing Financial Issues Part Four - Why Calculating Spousal Support is Like Trying to Nail Jello to the Wall. Spousal Support (or Alimony) is by far the most difficult aspect to settle in almost every case. Spousal support is complicated and the Court has a lot of discretion. Spousal support in California is based on the factors in Family Code Section 4320. Join us on this deep dive as we simplify one of the most complicated family law issues. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 13 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 13, Preparing Financial Issues Part Three – Getting and Enforcing Child Support, we talk about the underlying lawsuit, the necessity of a motion, and many other factors that go into how much is paid, and how to collect it from a spouse that may not be willing to pay. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 12 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 12, Preparing Financial Issues Part Two – Support of Minor Children. In this episode we discuss the two main factors used to calculate guideline child support in California, what the purpose of child support is (i.e. what it covers) and how to deal with child support arrears. For more information please visit us a divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to a special Thanksgiving Episode of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this Episode, Thanksgiving - Family American Style, we discuss the difficulty of holidays for divorcing parties and how our Thanksgiving unfolds 12 years post-divorce. We discuss creating new traditions and let you in on who the guests will be in our home, which may surprise you! Happy Thanksgiving! For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 11 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 11, Preparing Financial Issues Part One – What Are the Issues? Finances are a very complex issue in divorce and is a very common point of conflict in divorcing couples. We help you understand all of what is considered part of the community finances and how to divide this between the two parties. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Episode 10 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 10, Motions Part Two – How to Write a Declaration Supporting Your Motion. Motions part two dives into writing your declarations. There are very specific processes for submitting evidence, and often people are confused on what solid evidence is. We go in depth from beginning to end on what a solid declaration looks like. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 9 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 9, Motions Part One – How to Get Temporary Orders, many people are confused by the court process, and the paperwork can be overwhelming. In this episode we go into detail about getting temporary orders, from the paperwork, to the courtroom. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 8 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 8, The Emotional Aspects of the Divorce versus the Lawsuit, we pull apart the two aspects of divorce and break them down. You cannot have one without the other, and often the emotional side tends to ruin many peoples’ chances at the lawsuit side. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 7 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 7, Avoiding the Battle – How to Announce That You Want a Divorce, we discuss how to introduce the idea of divorce to your spouse with as little conflict as possible. This announcement is a crucial step in getting your spouse into mediation and staying out of the expensive and high conflict wheel of the court. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 6 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 6, Don’t Let Your Ex Rent Space In Your Head. In this episode we talk about the biggest mistake that most people make going through the divorce process. Focusing on your ex post pones your post-divorce life and causes a lot of anger and bitterness. We teach you strategies to kick them out of your head. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 5 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 5, Will Divorce Mediation Work for Me? We discuss why court and the litigation process is a bad option for majority of people. Most people tend to think that mediation will not work because they cannot get along, however mediation is designed to help arguing couples come to agreements, and help you get through this process with as little conflict as possible. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 4 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 4, Why Thinking About Child Custody Will Hurt Your Case, we talk about having the wrong mindset when it comes to thinking about your child custody case. We help you to understand how the courts generally look at things, and give you tips on what questions you should and shouldn’t be asking. In many cases, it is simply phrasing that hurts or helps a party, and we talk about the language that the courts want to hear. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 3 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 3, You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know, we talk about the pitfalls of trying to represent yourself in family court. We'll discuss the complexity of the court system, the forms, local rules, and last but not least, unrealistic expectations, that can be the downfall for any unprepared self-represented party. We also dive into how to avoid many of the common pitfalls. We understand that not everyone can afford a lawyer, so we are also going to provide seven solutions to help you achieve success in your self-represented endeavors. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 2 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 2 we talk about using your head and not your heart. Divorce is a very emotional process for all parties involved. We dive into the top mistakes EVERYONE makes and we’ll help you break down the emotions your feeling and give you strategies to keep them from negatively affecting your case. For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

Welcome to Episode 1 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this Episode we discuss the number one key to success in any divorce. You may be surprised to learn that the "secret sauce" is not the attorney you choose, the judge you have, or who is your ex’s attorney. Rather, the "secret sauce" is you. You are the key to your own success in this situation. And that's great news because you are in control of your behaviors, your thoughts, and your decisions. Thomas and Tammy will teach you to use this "secret sauce" to your advantage! For more information please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for watching!

In this episode, Thomas and Tammy discuss their own divorce experiences in 2006 and how their experiences created a desire to help others traveling the road of divorce.

Learn more at www.divorceuniversityonline.com