The Bad Movies Podcast: Recent Episodes
Sound Pollination
The Bad Movies Podcast is a program dedicated to properly examining all the movies general audiences were dissuaded from seeing in theaters because the “reviewers didn’t like it”. Often times a movie will come to be reviled not because it necessarily deserves to be, but because reviewers jump on the bandwagons of their peers or attempt to get viewership on their respective platforms by jumping down the throats of a movie rather than properly analyzing it. Other times, that movie might actually suck. This show is dedicated to finding which side of the coin these movies fall on. Every episode, this podcast will dive in on one specific movie to determine whether or not it truly is deserving of the title “Bad Movie”.
A very special and unique episode for BMP listeners: our Fourth Annual Spooktacular! For the past few years, our Spooktacular specials have existed solely for Patreon supporters. But today, all fans of BMP can now witness the glorious nonsense of spook season. The episode format is a bit different from what you may be used to as me and my guest take the entire Final Destination series and rank and review each film! It’s a messy, good time that hopefully can provide some decent insight while being stuffed with ridiculous tangents about Friday the 13th, Terrifier, and more! Please enjoy. (And as a general disclaimer, I apologize if we both sound sick because unfortunately we are both getting over colds.)
It’s spooky season which can only mean one thing: it’s time to bring out the killer sloths! (Yes, you read that right)
The question that auteurs have longed to answer: do we dare to make a movie that mashes beavers and zombies? Well…some brave filmmakers have finally dared…
Leave it to Wonder Woman to be the centerpiece of the most highly anticipated film to release in 2020. Ending the year of shenanigans with a glimmer of hope, director and creator Patty Jenkins opted to grant us all a wish to finally see the sequel to her DCEU blockbuster. But something about the critical air surrounding this sequel was giving off a different vibe. So I decided to investigate. What I found was a surprising film, one that baffled me in ways I never quite expected...but were they good? Or bad? Tune in to find out!
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Link To A Review I’d Recommend:
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I won’t linger long on an episode description. The nation is grieving right now, and I only hope that this podcast can offer a little respite from the hardships of the world. Top Gun is now heralded as an 80’s classic, but apparently it wasn’t always that beloved. So who was right? Did Top Gun endure only because of American nostalgia? Or is it truly a masterwork? This week, we’re going to find our answer.
Featuring Special Guest Star Lurdes ‘My Aunt and Top Gun Fanatic’ Abruscato!
Sometimes when you re-evaluate a childhood favorite, you find that the nostalgia is not enough to compensate for the film itself. But sometimes when you go back you realize that the greats are still great even if they were critically underappreciated. Such is the case with The Girl Next Door, a wildly underrated teen comedy that deserves more appreciation.
Since aliens are in the news. I thought it may be appropriate to revisit a modern alien-related classic. The Fourth Kind has an interesting take on ‘documentary’ filmmaking, but was that to its deficit? Only one way for us to find out.
The Meg came out last year, and it features the largest on screen shark to date alongside Jason Statham in a wetsuit. I won’t sell you on it, but I will inform you that Jason Statham kicks the megalodon in the face. If that’s not a film viewers bucket list item for you, I don’t know what is. It should be noted that The Meg is not exactly going to qualify for The Oscars (inherently its premise sort of disqualified it from that consideration), but it is most certainly one of the more pleasurable experiences this podcast has granted me with. So if you want to kick back and enjoy me and my lovely guest laugh about a shark that kills more people by stabbing than it does by eating, then this is the episode for you. Featuring Special Guest Star Madeline Grey DeFreece, she’s back and she’s bettuh! IG: madelinegdefreece Twitter: @maddefreece -- IG: @BadMoviesPodcast Twitter: @BadMoviesCast SoundPollination.com Patreon (Early Access)
Billy Madison was a childhood classic for me which makes it all the more rewarding to rediscover its majesty for this podcast. Adam Sandler has always been a star. And it’s nice to remind ourselves why. It’s time to put some respect on the movie that essentially founded Happy Madison productions!
We're so sorry for this. Listener discretion advised.
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Who wouldn’t want to see Adam Driver face off against a slew of dinosaurs in the prehistoric ages?
I mean...I mean it’s the second one. I’m sorry. I had to. I’m sorry that you have to now too.
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Some time ago, I had to purchase a physical disk of Super Mario Bros, the film from 1993, just so we could review it on this show (because streaming services are scum sometimes). Now, we return with the brand new 2023 film, licensed by Nintendo, the billion dollar grossing: The Super Mario Bros. Movie. Time to find out if the film was up to the task of taking on this beloved franchise!
Featuring: Zach Herman
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This week, we’re taking a trip to the 100 Acre Woods to visit an old friend…who has become feral! Winnie the Pooh is now public domain, so we can get used to some more craziness like this, I suppose. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? We’ll leave it for you to decide.
Guest: Grant David Crawford
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There’s not much to say really. I watched this film as a kid and remember thinking it made me feel gross. So I never watched it again. Until now. And now, at the ripe age of 22, I feel exactly the same as I did when I was a child. The Master of Disguise is the most misguided excuse for a movie I’ve ever seen. It’s so unfortunate that this movie squanders the potential of several significantly talented people. And it’s upsetting that I have to feel so passionately about it, but the truth is this: The Master of Disguise, as of today, is the worst movie I have seen. And I’m sad to admit that. We all hope for winners, this unfortunately isn’t one of them. Go watch Dana Carvey’s specials. Watch Hitman. Watch the other work these people have done. But do it after you listen to this podcast, of course. Featuring Special Guest Star Mickey Stein Roberts from Knowing Nothing! IG: @mickeyroberts, @mickeyrobertsart, @Knowingnothing_podcast -- IG: @BadMoviesPodcast Twitter: @BadMoviesCast SoundPollination.com Patreon (Early Access)
The people have spoken! And they want Nic Cage as Dracula! Renfield has come to deliver! Now, it’s time for us to analyze it and see if these filmmakers made good on their promise. Enjoy!
In honor of the recent NFL draft, I figured it was appropriate to revisit the Kevin Costner classic, Draft Day. Naturally, as with most reviews on this podcast, chaos ensued as I spiraled into a tirade. Enjoy!
Never in my life have I seen more abs, sweat, and blood. 300 belongs in a CrossFit museum. Better yet a CrossFit cathedral where they can pay homage to their patron saint Leonidas. By all rights, 300 should be laughably horrible. But it’s not. In fact, it has quite a lot of admirable qualities beyond its chiseled exterior. Zack Snyder is an ambitious visionary, so it was nice to finally be able to dissect one of his works. Is 300 obsessed with style? Absolutely. But it’s surprisingly not void of substance. So enjoy while we try to discuss that in between my guest’s ramblings about homosexuality and deformities. Featuring Special Guest Star Grant Groundhog Crawfish! -- IG: @BadMoviesPodcast Twitter: @BadMoviesCast
The fine gentlemen that I grew up playing DnD with helped me to review the Dungeons and Dragons movie from 2000! The results were about what you’d expect
Featuring:
Matt Robertson
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Cocaine Bear gets tremendous props from me for focusing mainstream, Hollywood attention on a B-Movie slasher/comedy. But, that’s not why you’re here. You’re here because you want to know if the bear that does a bunch of cocaine kills people. And you’re here because you want to know if that makes it a good movie. And I’m here to hopefully try to answer those questions…enjoy!
After literally years, I’ve finally managed to get my brother on this podcast. And of ALL the movies this New Orleanite could’ve chosen, he had the audacity to ask ME to review Batman & Robin with him. So here we are. Talking about a 2 hour movie for nearly 2 hours. Ever since recording, I’ve been waking up with cold sweats reminded of things we forgot to mention. Like the green screen backdrops below Alicia Silverstone when she’s hanging off a cliff(?) in Gotham city! Or the line, “rubber lips are immune to your charms”. Or the fact that we didn’t spend nearly enough time talking about the suit nipples. But there’s only so much time I can spend discussing Batman and Robin. Is it all bad? I mean, no? I don’t really have an answer for you there. If you enjoy Adam West kicking a shark in a bad costume then there’s a chance you may enjoy your time with Batman & Robin. But after about the 9th ice pun, you have to take a minute and reflect on what’s happening to you. I like Batman & Robin because it can teach us our tolerance for absurdity. But beyond that... I just don’t know man. On the plus side, please enjoy the cameo from my delightful nephew (9 months old and clearly very passionate about this film). And of course...Featuring Special Guest Star Tony ‘the lesser’ Damaia!
As an MCU fan, a Taika Waititi fan, a Chris Hemsworth fan, a Christian Bale fan, a Natalie Portman fan, a Tessa Thompson FAN, a superhero movie fan, a fan of space operas, and a fan of Guns and Roses, I’m ashamed to say that it took me a little too long to watch Thor 4. But here we are! Ready and eager to give everyone a new review! And not get distracted by how beautiful Tessa Thompson is…
Michael Bay is a divisive character which makes him the perfect focal point for this podcast! We’ve conquered the Transformer films before, we’ve revisited Bad Boys, but how does Bay’s most recent work hold up?
Now on the back half of 50, we’re just excited to still be here! Cue George of the Jungle. A movie I had blocked out from my early childhood after rendering it as ‘Tarzan but with no fun songs’. Fortunately, my guest this week had a proper affinity for this Disney classic(?) so there was plenty to discuss. How outrageously detached from reality is too outrageously detached from reality? George of the Jungle seeks to answer that question. It also seeks to answer whether or not fart jokes are funny and whether or not Brendan Fraser, The 90’s legend, is great (he is). So if any of that sounds like it’s up your alley, then please enjoy this review of a movie where the guy from The Mummy punches a lion in the face. Featuring Special Guest Star Sarah Wisser!
I am here to make the case that Underwater is one of the most surprising movies to come out of 2020. The critical consensus has tried to tell you that this final hoorah for Fox studio films is dull, and to that I say NAY! No film with Kristen Stewart fighting sea monsters is dull! Here is my 1hr long case for why you should give Underwater a shot.
If it’s divisive, this podcast is likely going to cover it. If it’s divisive and it gets nominated for Academy Awards, this podcast is definitely going to cover it. If it’s divisive but it has a career best performance for Brendan Fraser…this podcast is 10000% covering it. The Whale is incredibly polarizing, very visceral, and incredibly interesting to talk about. There’s plenty to critique and appreciate. Hopefully, we get into all of it in this week’s episode.
I avoided it for as long as I could, but inevitably The Human Centipede had to be discussed on the show. And who better to discuss it with than Grant Crawford who I single handedly brought out of podcast retirement (after I personally retired him myself). Please enjoy our failed attempt to understand exactly how this film became a cultural phenomenon (and whether or not it was all worth it)!
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There was quite simply no way I was willing to allow a movie entitled 80 For Brady pass by without at least seeing if it was worthy of a podcast episode! Tune in for Sally Field eating hot wings, stay for the Gronk cameo. This movie rocks. Let me try to tell you why!
Amazon Prime released a new movie in January. Naturally, seeing Jennifer Coolidge with a machine gun in the trailer, I decided to check it out. I was shocked to discover that Shotgun Wedding is not only super entertaining but also quite a compelling, chaotic comedy. Tune in to find out why other critics may be sleeping on this one!
Naturally, when we were told Power Rangers was getting a moody, mainstream makeover, my reaction was one of hesitation. But through seeing the snippets of trailers, I found myself becoming a little excited. Until the reviews dropped...but now I ask myself as I sit in quarantine, bored and angsty: What better time to watch a gritty Power Rangers reboot than the present? Is it as bad as they said? Or is there a hidden gem to be found here?
Dog Gone is exactly the type of Rob Lowe-dog movie you’d expect if you were expecting him to quietly sing Rhinestone Cowboy to a yellow lab. If that’s not what you were expecting then…one of us needs to recalibrate our expectations…anyway, let’s find out if Netflix’s new based-on-a-true-story-dog-film is good, shall we?
Apparently, Ben Shapiro produced a movie, so naturally I wanted to see what this famous un-cancellation of Gina Carano would have in store. The movie is surprisingly apolitical. It is, however, unsurprising in many other ways. Enjoy!
Bullet Train may seem like just a mindless action film, but it’s also the most Guy Ritchie film to ever not be made by Guy Ritchie. Critically divisive is an understatement with this new release. So, it’s time to settle the debate…or maybe not settle…maybe just hop on the debate train? (See what I did there?…I’m sorry)
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We celebrate 50 EPISODES in the only way we possibly could by bringing in The Citizen Kane of ‘Bad Movies’, The Room! Of course it was the #1 requested review. Of course, I had always planned for it to be the big #50. But I had no idea it would be quite as much fun as it was. The entire Sound Pollination crew has gathered for this epic event and created easily one of my personal favorite episodes of all time. We laughed. We cried. We talked about spoons. And most importantly, we gave credit where it’s due. Not many people can say that made a movie in a lifetime, let alone made a movie that people love with their entire hearts. But Tommy Wiseau can say that. It gives me the greatest pleasure to be able to talk about this on the 50th episode no less. Thank you for listening. It’s only up from here. Featuring Special Guest Stars: The Sound Pollination Team
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We had another Oscar contender on this week, folks! That’s right, How The Grinch Stole Christmas actually won for Best Makeup! Hardly surprising considering this is probably the closest you could ever get to animation with practical effects. But is the movie any good? That’s what we set out to decide in the latest episode of BMP. Because as we all now know, just because Jim Carrey jumps around looking green and weird doesn’t always mean the content is good. That’s right, The Mask is overrated in my generation. I said it. We didn’t know better back then. I won’t spoil this review in the description, but if it helps entice you to listen, I can tell you that I make a case that this is top 3 Ron Howard films. I quickly backtrack to top 5, but I still think the argument is relatively compelling.
Featuring Special Guest Star Gabe Armentano!
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Thanksgiving has now passed, so we’re wasting no time at all, and we’re gearing up for Christmas with the holiday classic, Love Actually! I have been watching this movie with my family since I was a wee child, so it seemed only fitting that I have TWO GUESTS this week…MY PARENTS! That’s right! My Mom and Dad both came out from their fox hole in Southwest Florida to talk about the most divisive Holiday movie of the 2000’s. Is Andrew Lincoln’s storyline romantic or creepy? Is Liam Neeson the ultimate Dad? Does Hugh Grant’s dancing scene deserve to be in this film? We dive deep, ladies and gentlemen. Perhaps deeper than ever before. I implore you, if ever there was an episode of this show to listen to, this is it. Featuring Special Guest Stars Fred and Gina ‘Frina’ Damaia! IG: @ginadamaia , @daddamaia -- IG: @BadMoviesPodcast Twitter: @BadMoviesCast SoundPollination.com Patreon (Early Access)
If I were to guess which adaptation of The Grinch was the most box-office-successful, I likey would not have guessed it would be this one. So, needless to say, I was quick to put it on my radar to see what all the commercial praise (and critical division) was about. To my surprise, I think I may have found an unexpectedly impressive animated film with more to offer than just flashy lights and Benedict Cumberbatch…also to clarify an analogy used in this one, Cumberbatch is also Josh Allen but in other films. It’ll make sense when you get there…or maybe not…enjoy
Lindsay Lohan is back, ladies and gentlemen! Falling For Christmas isn’t exactly the star vehicle you may have expected, but it certainly is Netflix’s attempt at a Hallmark Christmas movie. Is it worth your time? Of course. Lindsay Lohan is back, what about that isn’t worth your time? Oh, you meant is the movie good? Well, that depends…
Kicking off our countdown to Christmas with a Tim Allen holiday romp, The Santa Clause! Actually, make that 3, because we will be reviewing the trilogy of The Santa Clause on BMP this year to give everyone some much needed holiday cheer. This week we begin with the first, most palatable, of the Allen franchise films. Where the only thing we can really dissect is why the E.L.F.S’s bug me oh so much...enjoy!
It may be well past Halloween, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still watch a clown-led slasher film. Terrifier surprised me. Not just because it’s made for far less money than I could’ve ever expected, but also because it’s surprisingly engaging. I dare say we have a new horror icon in our midst…time to introduce the masses to Art the Clown!
We needed a Thanksgiving movie to review this year that did not involve a murderous turkey, so why not Free Birds which involves…time travel turkeys? It may sound strange, but I actually think this may be an overlooked gem—sort of—and I’d like to make my case as to why. Enjoy!
Osmosis Jones has been locked in a box with the letters ‘Do Not Open: My Past Trauma Inside’ ever since I watched it far too many times as an impressionable child. I know what you’re thinking. ‘Is it the grossest movie of all time’? The answer is yes. I am perturbed just thinking about it. And I’m not even sure I know what perturbed means it just CAME OUT OF ME because holy god this film makes me uncomfortable. And this coming from the guy who watched (and loved?) the movie where Justin Long gets turned into a walrus. All this being said, Bill Murray’s toe fungus and pulsing zit can’t keep this film from having a lot of energetic animation and a genius concept to boot. So come find out if we actually ended up liking it. Featuring Special Guest Star ‘Shay Boogie’ Maddy ‘Defreaky’ DeFreece!
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Happy spook season! The Blair Witch Project may have been a cultural phenomenon and one of the most successful horror movies ever made, but its sequel…um…is a movie? There’s not much to say about Blair Witch 2 that hasn’t been said already, but I will give it my best shot. Enjoy!
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A new book to screen review! My Best Friend’s Exorcism was an incredibly fun novel that I thoroughly enjoyed. The movie, however, has been divisive to say the least. This week we’ll try to determine what may have gone wrong or right in the adaptation process. Enjoy!
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Do Revenge may seem like a suspicious choice for this podcast, but we saw it as a unique opportunity to discuss a wide array of interesting topics ranging from Gen Z’s perceived cultural maturity to the world building implications of satire. But don’t worry. We also still managed to sound like morons as well. Enjoy! It’s one of my personal favorite convos we’ve had on this show!
Happy Spook Season from BMP! And what better way to celebrate than talking about the light of my life, Mr Jason Voorhees. And not just him! Of course it’s a crossover film to boot. We’re talking the classic Freddy Vs Jason. A film that 100% never needed to be made. A film that transcends genre in all the right ways. A film that I truly and honestly love with all my sick, demented heart. Halloween is about the joy of horror. And what’s more joyous than the most delightfully joyous slasher movie ever conceived?! It’s got everything you could ever want! Bed breaking back bends. Cornfield massacres. And my personal favorite, fire branding puns! Ok fine, this movie may not be for everyone. But if you’re never gonna watch it, at least listen to the episode where we talk about all of the completely unnecessary details and how lucky we are to not live in a town with cops this inept. Featuring Special Guest Stars Zach ‘Levi Jeans’ Herman and Ryan ‘Daddy’ O’Dell!
The latest Netflix release, Blonde, has certainly caught some divisive attention, so why not review it for the podcast? See how this Marilyn Monroe ‘biographical’ picture fares under some scrutiny this week.
Featuring: Ryan O’Dell
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A press tour so divisive it’s managed to sell movie tickets again! You’ve surely heard the gossip, but does the rumor mill make you actually want to see Don’t Worry Darling? Let’s help you get off the fence with this week’s review! Enjoy!
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An adventure comedy with Sandra Bullock playing a vaguely grumpy romance writer falling in love (spoilers?) with Channing Tatum, the model hunk from her cover art, as they journey across [insert random obscure place here] whilst being chased by millionaire psychopath Daniel Radcliffe? Sign me the hell up! Oh, and Brad Pitt is in this too!
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Orphan: First Kill is an incorrectly titled prequel to the cult classic Orphan. I say that because if you’re expecting this to be the film that establishes Esther’s interest in murder and dad-fetishes, you’re not going to get that. You will however get the most insane twist since 2021’s Malignant (if you know, you know). Does it work? Is it good? Only one way to find out…enjoy!
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I recorded this episode a few weeks ago in light of some Dane Cook news hitting the media circles! Good Luck Chuck is a relatively unremarkable rom com that features a LENGTHY sex montage making it relatively remarkable to this young reviewer when his mom originally took him to see it in theaters! Enjoy this 2000’s nostalgia hit
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I’m not quite sure if Motley Crue got the biopic they deserved with The Dirt or not, but the trailer certainly had me intrigued (to say the least). If you missed this 2019 Netflix original, this may be worth listening to just so we can talk about those wigs!
In the canon of American Pie-esque romps, Eurotrip clocks in as (debatably) one of the most forgettable, save for a smash hit cameo provided by the incomparable Matt Damon. Yet, somehow, the collective consciousness of both me and my guest found a nostalgic spot in our hearts for the film. So this week we decided to re-examine. Come for the random comparison of Eurotrip to Uncut Gems, and stay for the thought provoking insight about how far American politics have come.
Bad Boys, the quintessential Dad movie of the 90’s, has established and catapulted numerous careers over the years. Where did it all begin for Michael Bay? How did Will Smith become the mega star we know him as today? And where can you spot Megan Fox in this film? Tune in and you might find out...or you might get lost in our laborious and fumbling plot description, but hey, that’s half the fun! www.patreon.com/badmoviescast www.soundpollination.com -- Twitter: @jbarbieri725 Insta: John__barbieri bookitsports Donate to support: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019 https://blackvotersmatterfund.org/take-action/
Another day, another 200 million dollar new release on Netflix. Is that not the saying? The Gray Man is the latest from the Russo brothers and it’s caught some flack thus far from the critical community. So, it’s time for us to find out if The Gray Man is just misunderstood or if it’s truly deserving of condemnation.
You asked for it. This week, we review Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis. All 2 hours and 40 minutes of it. Enjoy!
A new Hulu original movie starring Joey King? Cool. It’s about a fairytale princess murdering people à laThe Raid? Cool. Olga Kurylenko wears a black wig and wields a whip? Fine, twist my arm, I’ll watch it! I’ll watch it! Time to find out if The Princess is better than the critics are saying!
Episode 100...you didn’t want it...but we gave it to you anyway...Bio-Dome. Thank you for your continued support, and (hopefully) for 100 more episodes to come.
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Spiderhead is the second Joseph Kosinski/Miles Teller romp to grace 2022! Though it may not grace Top Gun Maverick’s box office numbers, it’s still a big budget Netflix film with some science fiction intrigue to make it worth talking about. Is Spiderhead as divisive as they say? Or do critics need to shut up and stare into the dreamy eyes of Chris Hemsworth a bit more?
The Fanatic, starring John Travolta, needs no introduction. What could possibly prepare you? The answer is nothing. Enjoy as we attempt to unravel our minds to dissect this miraculous piece of filmmaking!
Featuring: ‘Nemo’ Elliot Craft
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Happy Pride! Here’s our official review of the cult classic John Waters film, Pink Flamingos. To say it’s divisive is a bit of an undersell. There’s no way to appropriately prepare you, so I will be as blunt as I can be: GRAPHIC CONTENT WARNING! Enjoy!
Titan AE may have passed you by in 2000, but if you grew up in my household, this was a mainstay VHS. We were happy to be reminded of it by patreon supporter Wyl McCully! Here’s a particularly insane episode that includes one of the craziest laughing fits we’ve ever had in the years of doing this show. Hopefully, there’s some intelligible conversation in between. Enjoy!
I won’t linger long on an episode description. The nation is grieving right now, and I only hope that this podcast can offer a little respite from the hardships of the world. Top Gun is now heralded as an 80’s classic, but apparently it wasn’t always that beloved. So who was right? Did Top Gun endure only because of American nostalgia? Or is it truly a masterwork? This week, we’re going to find our answer.
Featuring Special Guest Star Lurdes ‘My Aunt and Top Gun Fanatic’ Abruscato!
The Wrong Missy may have passed you by when it dropped to Netflix in 2020, but the question remains: did we miss an underrated gem, or were we right to chalk it up to ‘just another Happy Madison misadventure’? The answer is…yes…? Enjoy while we try to unpack that!
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The New Guy may have passed you by in 2002 when it first came out. But should it be revisited? Is it just another horny, teen comedy clinging on to 90’s nostalgia for dear life? Or is there a bit more to it? Come for the analysis, stay for our impressions of Idris Elba (who has absolutely nothing to do with this movie, by the way).
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One of our most requested titles, Sleepaway Camp, finally makes its appearance on TBMP. And it is (probably) exactly what you expect. Please enjoy our initial reactions to this bizarre, transphobic, teen dramedy that’s also apparently a slasher film? Instagram: @grantdavidcrawford
Coming in hot with another 2022 release this week for a movie that may have passed you by. Windfall is far better than the critical consensus may have you believe, and I’m here to talk about why! Don’t let this Netflix indie flop!
Here we have a rather erratic episode in which we failingly attempt to relay the plot of Eli Roth’s Hostel. Now, maybe you’re asking yourself, “why does Gianni keep watching these torture movies when he knows he doesn’t like them?” Honestly, I don’t have an answer for you. Hopefully it makes for compelling content though. Oh and shout out to Tommy’s mom as a special guest star, of sorts, for the episode! You may hear her laughing along from time to time. Enjoy!
When you love something, set it free. In this instance, I’ve been doing just that with Mortal Kombat. The beloved video game series has always been near and dear to my heart. I love the juvenile violence. The 80’s action movie aesthetic. The detailed backstories of revenge and tragedy layered over competitive 2D set pieces of gore and grime. And I set it free...for this. The 1995 film isn’t all bad, of course. There’s commendable effort to please the studio heads as well as the video game fans. But at what cost? Mortal Kombat (1995) loses the gore, the snark, the panache and substitutes a load of exposition and quick cutting! Our review pulls no punches (pun intended). But here’s to hoping the sequel can deliver on the failed promise... Featuring Special Guest Star Matt ‘Cheezy Boy’ Robertson!
As an enormous Judd Apatow fan, I find it difficult to report that the critical consensus about The Bubble is correct. Despite a robust cast of talent, despite a brilliant co-writer, and despite a generally intriguing premise, The Bubble cannot seem to maintain any traction. I have a lot to say. Most of it incoherent dribble. Hopefully some nuggets of wisdom in there. Enjoy!
You didn’t actually think that Morbius would come out, after all this time, and I would NOT talk about it, did you?
Today is the day I force you all to watch Grandma’s Boy, a criminally underrated stoner comedy from Happy Madison productions. This film has brought me so much joy, as absolutely silly as it is. And if this podcast can do anything, hopefully it can draw attention to some underrated films that you may have missed. Enjoy!
New week, new Ben Affleck movie! Deep Water is Adrian Lyne’s first film in twenty years, so what brought him back to filmmaking? Was it the wardrobe for Ana De Armas? Was it Lil Rel Howery’s improvisational skills? Or was it Finn Wittrock’s chiseled jaw? We’re not really sure. What are we sure about exactly? Well, based on this scatterbrained review, not much. Enjoy!
Keeping the J-Lo train going, this week we’re talking about The Wedding Planner! Who knew that critics had such searing hatred for this seemingly innocuous rom-com? So, is Matthew McConaughey the one true and only dream boat? Are Rom-coms too predictable? How bad is my Italian accent? Find out the answers to all, and more, on this episode!
You may think that Anaconda is just a Jaws rehash in a tropical environment…and you would be right. But it has Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez, so how bad could it really be? Join us this week as we discuss whether or not accurate biology matters in filmmaking, how underrated Ice Cube is, and more!
The Uncharted series has long been hailed as the pinnacle of action adventure video games, but does that transition to film? This week, we aim to unpack our deep love of this franchise and try to make sense of some divisive critical reactions. This episode also features, perhaps, the most tangents of any episode of this show thus far! Which is…saying something. Enjoy!
For perhaps the 200th time, it would appear that a classic horror franchise is attempting a revitalization. And what do you know! It involves ‘decanonizing’ the countless sequels and making its own ‘relevant timeline’. But don’t worry, the title will give no indication of this shift. In fact, it’s just going to have virtually the same title as the original. Because how could you get confused? If you can’t tell, I’m frustrated. But that’s just the write-up! Wait for the real review in this latest episode of BMP!
0000012A 00000151 00002890 Having just finished the series Avatar: The Last Airbender, I decided to reward myself with the live action adaptation, The Last Airbender. And wow. What a time it was. I almost feel guilty speaking so passionately considering I am only a new fan to the series, but this was quite a lot to take. M Night Shyamalan is an absolute marvel, so whatever happened that made this movie tank so hard is difficult to process. But we certainly do the best we can to try and break down exactly what happened here to make this one of the worst adaptations of all time. Frustrating is an unfortunate understatement for this film. But on the plus side, the series is still a wonderful pinnacle of television, so you’ll always have something to cleanse your pallet. Featuring Special Guest Star Mickey Stein Roberts! 0000F0D0 0000F0D0 000076AF 00007E72 00005A00 0015B5C1
I got the biggest video game nerds in the business to come together to review the new Resident Evil film. And, surprisingly, we had very different takes. Who was right? Who was wrong? Only one way to find out!
This week, we received a request to review the illustrious 1987 masterpiece, Robot Holocaust. You know me, I’m not one to back away from a challenge, but I will admit that I did consider it. What can you expect from a movie aptly titled Robot Holocaust? Whatever you’re picturing, that’s basically what it is. Just throw in some sock puppets and you’re there. Everyone is capable of good work, as we often say, but is this the limit of that theory? Only one way to find out…
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Back in the erratic time of 2001, Hollywood was nervous about a few things. Turns out that chief among them was actually outsourcing professional actors to animated replicants! In comes Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, a largely inoffensive science fiction adventure that actually caused quite a stir. So were critics divided on the movie itself, or were they scared of the future of the industry if FFTSW succeeded? Let’s try to find out this week on the bad movies podcast!
Now on the back half of 50, we’re just excited to still be here! Cue George of the Jungle. A movie I had blocked out from my early childhood after rendering it as ‘Tarzan but with no fun songs’. Fortunately, my guest this week had a proper affinity for this Disney classic(?) so there was plenty to discuss. How outrageously detached from reality is too outrageously detached from reality? George of the Jungle seeks to answer that question. It also seeks to answer whether or not fart jokes are funny and whether or not Brendan Fraser, The 90’s legend, is great (he is). So if any of that sounds like it’s up your alley, then please enjoy this review of a movie where the guy from The Mummy punches a lion in the face. Featuring Special Guest Star Sarah Wisser!
It’s been a dream of this show to have people on who actually worked on the movie in question, and today we have fulfilled that dream! Our guests this week have ACTUAL insight into the making of Planet of the Apes. We talk shop, get to the bottom of some long held rumors, and as always we review the film which in this case proves to be an ambitious undertaking. Please enjoy! And check out Skid’s podcast Below The Line!
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The first movie of 2022 may seem to be a bit of a random choice, but it was suggested to us by our near and dear Shelby Arnold! The Air I Breathe is an interesting one. It’s a little bit Crash and a little bit A Sharks Tale(!), and if that sounds interesting to you then you must not know about the Singing In The Rain death scene which simply must be seen to be believed. Please enjoy this episode! I…I’m not sure if I did…
New Year’s Eve is a relic of the early 2010’s, a time so mired by Hollywood desperately clawing for your attention that it almost seems like a fever dream. So why not throw every single dollar available to getting the cast of your dreams? Please enjoy this episode because we sure did enjoy making it. And if I don’t talk to you before then, please have a great rest of 2021. See you in 2022
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As far as evangelical Christmas films go, I’m willing to halt proceedings and give this one the crown. Saving Christmas is not the worst film ever made, but it may perhaps be the most baffling. Come for the odd logic leaps, stay for the hip hop dance sequence. If this review is even half as entertaining as this film, I will consider it a resounding success. Enjoy, and Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas to you, random personality that has stumbled upon this episode of BMP! And what a Christmas it is where I get to celebrate by watching this Oscar worthy classic! Last week, I got to share my favorite guilty pleasure with the world. So it seems only fair to share EVERYONE'S favorite guilty pleasure this week. This movie is unfathomable. Seriously. They had Arnold Schwarzenegger punch a reindeer. In the face. You can’t make this shit up even if it came from a Gary Busey fever dream. This is pure Christmas magic, in every sense of the term. Assuming, of course, that your idea of Christmas magic involves a bodybuilder struggling to acquire a toy with acclaimed comedian, Sinbad. I hope me suffering through this, er, masterpiece brings you enough joy through this holiday week. And if it doesn’t, well then in the famous words of Arnold, “aw poor baby”. Featuring Special Guest Star Justin Knoefel, back for ROUND 2! Twitter: @JustinKnoepfel IG: @justinknoepfel Justin's New Film -- IG: @BadMoviesPodcast Twitter: @BadMoviesCast SoundPollination.com Patreon (Early Access)
Thankskilling 3 is the ambitious sequel to a film about a killer turkey. Puppets, space worms, zombie turkeys, a rapping grandma, and a vortex coming out of a robot's butt. What more can you ask for in a sequel?
The first MCU movie to land a ‘rotten’ score on Rotten Tomatoes helmed by 2020’s Best Director Oscar Winner Chloe Zhao! Who would have thought? The question remains: are the critics right? Has the MCU finally given the last remaining fans superhero fatigue? Tune in to find out! (Apologies for another super horny episode of BMP, but also I’m not that sorry)
Hot off a best picture win for Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, New Line Cinema releases…Raise Your Voice! A Hillary Duff Christian dramedy to promote her new album. The early 2000’s were a weird time. As is evident in the costuming for this movie.
A new personal favorite episode for this podcast, Ravenous has long been the movie to haunt my dreams. So, it would seem only fitting to release a Halloween episode featuring the film. I don’t normally spoil the episode in the description, but this movie should be required viewing for anyone looking for something unnerving. It’s worth your time.
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Nothing says spooky like the Fantastic Four film adaptations! This week, we’re bringing you a particularly revelatory episode where we talk about Reddit, sexual innuendos involving elasticity, and (of course) Maria Menounos! One of my personal favorites to date, truly.
This Spook Season, the Bad Movies Podcast has decided to rank and review the Paranormal Activity franchise on our patreon page. But if you have no bucks to spare, no fear! Because today I reviewed Paranormal Activity 4 to give everyone a taste of what we can expect. Enjoy me talking about how I would happily punch the spooky kid in the face for an hour and a half.
Dear Evan Hansen was a highly acclaimed musical, winning six Tony’s out of nine total nominations. So why then was the film adaptation so critically divisive? This week we try to unpack what people on both sides of the aisle may be missing in Dear Evan Hansen. We also talk about implications in writing and spend A LOT of time trying to decipher what the hell the theme of this film is versus what it wants to be.
National Security may have passed you by in 2003, but it didn’t keep us from wanting to give it a quick revisit. This buddy cop comedy features Steve Zahn with a top ten movie mustache, a top 5 movie buzz cut, and a top 3 movie forehead vein. So, what’s not to love? Is it deserving of an 11 on Rotten Tomatoes? Let’s find out. Inside jokes of this episode include but are not limited to: partner (spelled: cpartner), and not one, but two Werner Herzog references for the eagle eyed listener. Enjoy!
I had to BUY, physically BUY, Super Mario Bros on DVD for this review. If that doesn’t say the lengths at which I will go for this podcast, I don’t know what does. This film is an absolute anomaly. How it got made, how it exists in this universe, all of it escapes me. It’s a movie I truly didn’t even know existed until it was kindly recommended to me on Twitter, and WOW I’m so glad it was. Not only is Super Mario Bros a hidden gem from the bowels of ‘93, but it’s also an iconic film that deserves to be regarded as an all time cult classic. The world building and logic at work in this is nothing short of inspiring. Not in the sense that it’s ‘good’ necessarily...but certainly in the sense that it’s shockingly entertaining. This film belongs on streaming services. We need everyone to know that Super Mario Bros exists and you can actually see Dennis Hopper with a lizard tongue. Please enjoy this episode, because I know we did. Featuring Special Guest Star Zach Herman!
Horns is a movie from 2014 (or 2013 if you go by IMDb) that may have passed you by. It stars Daniel Radcliffe, it’s based on a novel written by Stephen King’s son, and it’s obscenely horny (pun intended). But is it a hidden gem? Or is it just a cynical black comedy about a guy who randomly grows devil horns?
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The 2008 adaption of the Vernian classic makes its long awaited debut on the podcast this week! Journey to the Center of the Earth is exactly the type of film you’d expect from the 2000’s era: it has adventure, it has a hunk of a lead, it has a glimpse at a dinosaur, and it’s a science movie that somehow completely dismisses all science. Who doesn’t love Brendan Fraser yelling? Who doesn’t love Josh Hutcherson playing a moody teen? Who doesn’t love a misguided studio film obsessing over 3D? And if you’re listening to this podcast, who doesn’t love a random Rick Grimes impression?
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A new Cinderella movie starring a pop star, James Corden as a rat, and Billy Porter as the Fabulous Godmother…and you thought I WASN’T going to review it?????
The New Mutants, after a large fan outcry to release the film(!) for YEARS, came out to…a whimper. The pandemic consumed a lot of our attention, and what was once a demand for the last remaining true Fox comic film became a relatively light response from general audiences who sort of let the film slide into HBO Max obscurity. So, I demand a revisit! It is time for us to determine if we let The New Mutants slip away unjustly, or if this is in fact a Fox film best left in Marvel’s now ‘variant’ universe. Only one way to find out. Oh also, I heard the Cloverfield monster at some point in this episode. So that’s at least worth finding.
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With the success of White Lotus on HBO Max, it seems only fitting we talk about an early career Mike White cult classic, Orange County. For many, it was the launching point for Jack Black, Colin Hanks, and even Jake Kasdan, but for me it’s an early 2000’s teen comedy that, up until this review, I had never even heard of before. So it’s time for us to (re)visit and figure out if the critics wrote this one off too quickly or if this lead up to School of Rock should be left off your radar.
As a diehard Ben Affleck fan (don’t ask why, it’s just something I live with), I’ve put off watching Gigli for as long as I could. I vaguely recall seeing it while younger, but mercifully it left my mind. Until the fateful day when I decided it was time to face my fears. And wow, were those fears valid. Gigli is a completely misguided attempt at a Hollywood movie. Is it impossible to watch? No. But it is a challenge undoubtedly. I mean, this movie actually made Martin Brest quit film. I don’t even know what he’s doing now. Hopefully living a peaceful life watching over the tragic Hollywood that bastardized Gigli. Gigli is not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it is damn near close. And as sad as I am to critique it so aggressively, I must admit it does make for a very fine episode. And I still love Ben Affleck, no matter his slip ups. Featuring Special Guest Star Grant ‘Gopher’ Crawford!
It’s been a minute since we’ve had some one on one time with a good ol’ shark movie together, so I took this opportunity to talk about a forgotten piece from 2011, Shark Night 3D! Perhaps unsurprisingly, this film was unfortunately forgettable, though not completely void of praise. Let’s talk about what worked, what didn’t, and what makes a shark movie…bite! (I am so sorry)
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It’s been four years since the last entry in the Saw franchise, so naturally we had to review the latest release, Spiral. After having ranked and reviewed each of the films in the series (available on The Bad Movies patreon page, Ahem), we felt it necessary to complete our watch party this week and uncover the mysteries in this Chris Rock led soft reboot. So where does Spiral fit in with the rest of the films? Only one way to find out…
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Tennis films are rare. Making good tennis films even more rare. Making good romantic comedy tennis films super duper rare! In comes Wimbledon, an underrated sports, rom com with a stacked cast that was unfortunately forgotten in the early 2000’s. This episode is my pitch to get you to give it a shot!
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The number one streaming movie in the world (according to recent ads), The Tomorrow War, is a true sci fi disaster movie that would make the early 2000’s proud. It’s got high stakes, tense action, simple characters, and an existential narrative that tries so hard to make sense. But is it a ‘bad movie’? Let’s find out!
We’re revisiting an oldy but a goody this week. Why? Because it turns out The Boss Baby is getting a sequel? I like to consider myself pretty well versed in what’s happening as far as green-lit projects go, but somehow I was completely blind sighted by the critically divisive-Alec-Baldwin-as-a-baby-star-vehicle getting a second chance in the sun. Our show has grown quite a bit from this episode (only our second ever release!), and you can still hear the nerves in my voice. But hopefully that makes it more fun to revisit!
Getting back to new releases, Disney’s latest attempt at revitalizing its classic lore has given us Cruella, a prequel to 101 Dalmatians focusing exclusively on the villain who checks notes kills dogs??? So it’s time to see if this latest installment is “bad” as some (cough Twitter) critics have deemed, or if it’s simply a misunderstood classic in the making...or somewhere in between?
Happy 150 everyone! Over 150 hours of content, and how better to celebrate than to review Bee Movie! No seriously. How better to celebrate? I’m not sure how celebrations work, but there’s got to be a better way than this right? How does Seinfeld’s buzz-worthy picture stack up with today?? Tune in to find out!
We're so sorry for this. Listener discretion advised.
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Last year gave us a series of ups and downs. In the midst of all the chaos, it also happened to give us another Paul WS Anderson video game adaption for the big screen. So the question is: was it an up? Or a down? Well, we aim to find out...
Another day, another Zack Snyder film. I’ve heard many people praise Snyder’s return to the zombie film medium, but is it up to snuff? Enjoy this episode of the Bad Movies Podcast where I talk about narrative promises, say the word ‘aesthetic’ a lot, and lament about the visually impressive/narratively vacant films we’ve been getting this year!
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Midnight Meat Train may be the grossest title to ever be featured on this podcast but it’s a surprisingly compelling visual. Unfortunately, it’s also as bizarre and narratively jarring as you would expect from a movie whose premise is literally derived from ‘butcher kills people on a train’. So the question remains...is it any good?
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Disclaimer: This episode was originally released on 10/14/2018, therefore some of the advertisements and references may no longer be relevant.
Ah Venom. What can I really say here? I’ve been trying to write this description for nearly an hour, and I simply can’t find the words. Because Venom has done the unthinkable. It has made me speechless. This movie has ripped a hole in the space/time continuum and appeared in 2018 despite clearly being made in 2000 when plots like this in superhero movies were almost acceptable. We had lower expectations after things like Steele and Spawn broke us down like symbiotes. This movie is a disaster in many ways. And I have no qualms with sharing that in the description because what I’ll also say is that this may be my favorite movie theatre experience of all time, and if that doesn’t intrigue you enough to listen to this review, then I don’t know what will. I hope you enjoy this one as much as we did. Featuring Special Guest Star John ‘Johnny Baltimore’ Barbieri from Book It: Sports With John and Greg! -- IG: @john_barbieri , @bookitsports Twitter: @jbarbieri725 , @Bookitsportswi1 Itunes Podcast Page (Book it Sports on any Podcast app) -- IG: @BadMoviesPodcast Twitter: @BadMoviesCast SoundPollination.com Patreon (Early Access) -- NATF Fundraiser Details!! NATF Fundraiser Shadowbox NATF Fundraiser
We're back with a film about Kevin Spacey turning into a cat. Yes, you read that right. Think Freaky Friday but with a feline name Mr. Fuzzypants. More importantly, we are here with the best guest to ever bless the Bad Movies Podcast: Grant Crawford. We are incredibly thankful that such an enormously successful person could make the time for this show and it's truly an honor to sit in the same room as him.
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At long last, Mortal Kombat (2021) has come along to try to test the theory of ‘third time's a charm’ when it comes to live action feature films adapting that game series where you can rip out spines! And two Mortal Kombat nerds have sat down to discuss it. Was it everything we hoped for? Or was it another annihilation (pun intended) of our beloved franchise?
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A brief pallet cleanser this week as we revisit one of my nostalgic favorites, 50 First Dates. Is the Adam Sandler comedy just another Happy Madison film? Or is there more to appreciate in a logline this rich? Covering everything from plot structure to Ten Second Tom, we aim to answer the age old question: is it really a bad movie?
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As promised in the disclaimer, this episode does have a video component and that is probably the ideal way to take it in...the video will be up shortly on www.patreon.com/badmoviescast for free as soon as I can get the massive file to upload! (Tune in to @badmoviescast for updates regarding this)
What could we really add to the Phantom Menace discourse that hasn’t been said already? Not a lot. But we CAN eat really spicy chicken nuggets! I apologize in advance for the catastrophe that ensued but hopefully it can bring you a lot of joy and a little film criticism.
Godzilla stans...unite! We are here to talk about the latest entry in the franchise. A movie so ripe with banana-land world building, you may actually manage to miss the fact that two giant monsters fight in it! Let’s talk about the good, the bad, and the King...of Monsters!
Space Jam. The best gift Michael Jordan ever gave me. Hell, the best gift he ever gave THE WORLD. The NBA superstar said, “ya know what? Here ya go Gianni. Here’s a movie with me and Daffy f***ing Duck playing Basketball against animated aliens. And Danny Devito’s in it too.” His words, not mine. I’ve had Space Jam for as long as I can remember. In fact, it might actually be my first memory. Now, coincidentally I played football in school. Was I any good? Definitely not. But I was #34. Mainly because I panicked when coach asked, “what number do you want to be?” But ever since then I’ve had an affinity for #34’s. So naturally this episode had to be pretty special. A special movie with a special group of guests for a very special number. This may be the funniest episode of this podcast. Or maybe just funniest to me. But it’s no doubt going to epic. Enjoy. Featuring Special Guest Stars Keanu Jules, Greg Elephantiasis, and Johnny Baltimore Barbieri! IG: @keanujulaj // @g.elefterakis // @john_barbieri // @bookitsports Twitter: @JulesKeanu // @gelefterakis // @jbarbieri725 // @BookitSportswi1 -- IG: @BadMoviesPodcast Twitter: @BadMoviesCast SoundPollination.com Patreon (Early Access)
I decided to give Godzilla and Kong some breathing room this week and talk instead about an infamous Stephen King classic, Maximum Overdrive. While I must make very clear that King is an idol of mine, I have to do so with the qualifier that Maximum Overdrive has joined the ranks of Master of Disguise in being one of the most unfortunate things to ever grace this podcast. Here to help me unpack that is Jordan Lemmon, not to be mistaken for his evil twin Jordan Lemmond, who joined me for a marathon session of dissecting the film in which electronics come to life and try to kill people...or maybe...aliens???
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With the Snyder Cut out and nerds on hiatus for another week until the giant lizard fights the giant monkey, I figured it best to use this down time to run back over a comic book movie I missed last year. Birds of Prey has been hailed as the fixer for the DCEU. But that didn’t stop critics from being divided on it. Which made me wonder: is the film deserving of the high-water-mark-78% on Rotten Tomatoes? Or are DC fans just eager and clamoring for a heroine to cheer for?
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In 2017, we had Justice League. A film reeking of ‘made-by-committee’ politics and unfortunate studio mishandling. And now several years removed, the original creative director finally gets to see his vision unfold...on HBO Max. Beyond all the controversy, beyond all the infamy, there remains only one question: is the film any good? The answer depends...do you or do you not like a million different shots of a brief case?
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Welcome to the world of Nickelodeon original movies, a relic of the early 2000’s—even if they still exist today—that feature wacky characters in surprising circumstances, and a lot of teenage sexual tension...and also bike tricks? Clockstoppers is one of those rare films that may ring familiar to a very specific sect of millennials while simultaneously leaving the rest of us head scratching. But fear not, it’s on HBO Max. And now it’s also reviewed at length on the bad movies podcast.
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Tom Hanks is a cinema legend in every respect of the word, and so it seems only fitting that his sophomore directorial, screenwriting, producing credit be acknowledged on our show! Is Larry Crowne deserving of divisiveness? Or is it just not up to par with the revelatory work that audiences most associate with Hanks? We talk about that and SOOO much more. Tune in
In the Urban Dictionary, the definition for ‘slept on’ should have a poster of Green Street Hooligans proudly beside it. The kickstart of Charlie Hunnam’s career and a brutal look into London soccer gangs makes Green Street one of those movies that makes my heart grow fonder. If nothing else, I hope this podcast introduced someone to it. But at the very worst, you can listen and hear us literally begging for added footage to capitalize on the homoerotic tension. I mean com’on. It’s right there, guys.
The Prom, based on the hit Broadway musical of the same name, features a slam dunk cast with Midas Touch himself, Ryan Murphy, at the helm. The film scored 2 Golden Globe nominations and a fair bit of recognition. Yet The Prom also received middling scores from critics, a wide array of controversy, and a fair amount of eye rolls from even Broadway biggest fans. So what makes The Prom so divisive? And who had it right? Tune in to hear why Elle won’t get hired by Law and Order, her beef with Nicole Kidman, and our horrendous singing of the songs that made this musical so popular.
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Music, Sia’s directorial debut which launched this weekend, popped onto most radars after a widely publicized insensitive casting choice and/or a shocking 2 Golden Globe nominations. So, naturally, I was curious to see what the HFPA saw in the film that audiences and critics, almost unanimously, did not. What I found was...shocking.
Kicking off our big Oscar season, Hillbilly Elegy is one of the more alarming entries to be both critically divisive and yet deserving of nominations. So, who has it right? The critics? Or the voters? This week, we aim to analyze the implications of a problematic story, the reasons why Terminators cannot be neutral, and my theory in comparing Amy Adams to Kevin Garnett
The only movie in the Studio Ghibli canon to claim rights to a rotten score on rottentomatoes.com, Tales From Earthsea is a fantasy epic with a cult following. So, we’re the critics right? This week was a fascinating analysis of one of the greatest studios in animated film history, as well as an in depth look at how a film can still flounder with Willem Dafoe as the leading villain.
In the canon of American Pie-esque romps, Eurotrip clocks in as (debatably) one of the most forgettable, save for a smash hit cameo provided by the incomparable Matt Damon. Yet, somehow, the collective consciousness of both me and my guest found a nostalgic spot in our hearts for the film. So this week we decided to re-examine. Come for the random comparison of Eurotrip to Uncut Gems, and stay for the thought provoking insight about how far American politics have come.
Vanishing on 7th Street may just be a little known apocalyptic film from 2010, but it was also a blast to review this week. In this episode, you’ll hear all of our deep existential thoughts, our biblical interpretations of the rapture, and our greatest fears of the afterlife...no I’m just kidding. You’ll just hear me fawn over Hayden Christensen and Thandie Newton, and Kacey gush about John Leguizamo. But it has some neat insights too. I think. I hope.
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Leave it to Wonder Woman to be the centerpiece of the most highly anticipated film to release in 2020. Ending the year of shenanigans with a glimmer of hope, director and creator Patty Jenkins opted to grant us all a wish to finally see the sequel to her DCEU blockbuster. But something about the critical air surrounding this sequel was giving off a different vibe. So I decided to investigate. What I found was a surprising film, one that baffled me in ways I never quite expected...but were they good? Or bad? Tune in to find out!
Twitter:
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Link To A Review I’d Recommend:
https://www.mediaversityreviews.com/film-reviews/2021/1/2/wonder-woman-1984
If you’ve been waiting 25 episodes for me to actually lose it, congratulations! I LOST IT. X-Men Origins Wolverine is truly one of the most infuriating films I’ve ever had to witness. As a comic fan, and a fan of cinema, this was a film I always wanted to do on this show. A true bucket list item. And as a fan of film criticism I’m extremely proud of this episode. We shouted, we lamented, and we left no stone unturned. I know I say this often, but I hope you enjoy episode 25 of BMP as much as we enjoyed making it.
Featuring Special Guest Star Elliot ‘Nemo’ Craft (ladies and gentlemen, we found him)!
IG: elliotcraft6
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While Tim Allen was busy filming the greatest movie of all time, Christmas with the Kranks, he was apparently also starring in the third installment of The Santa Clause trilogy. And though it was released 2 years after Kranks, it now joins the legacy of Christmas classics from Mr Allen. The Escape Clause is...baffling. But how and why is such a long story. One that only this podcast will (perhaps) be able to answer...
In 1994, The Santa Clause took the world by storm becoming the only Christmas movie to feature Tim Allen in a fat suit. 8 years later, The Santa Clause 2 is here to take the world by storm once again by doing...the exact same thing. Is it a funnier movie? Is it a better movie? You’ll just have to listen to find out. But one thing is for sure: the Desantification Process has begun!
Kicking off our countdown to Christmas with a Tim Allen holiday romp, The Santa Clause! Actually, make that 3, because we will be reviewing the trilogy of The Santa Clause on BMP this year to give everyone some much needed holiday cheer. This week we begin with the first, most palatable, of the Allen franchise films. Where the only thing we can really dissect is why the E.L.F.S’s bug me oh so much...enjoy!
It’s no secret, 122 episodes into our show, that my guest and I absolutely adore Kevin Smith. So what happens when we run up against a movie that Smith himself is critical of? Is Zack and Miri an underrated romantic comedy? Or is it lost chasing a bygone era of Apatowian mischief? Honestly, I’m not really sure. All I know is we giggled about the juvenile humor more than was maybe appropriate. So, enjoy?
Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones turned the buddy cop genre upside down with the original Men In Black…and Hollywood has been chasing that magic ever since. Sadly, Men In Black International was their most recent and likely most unfortunate attempt thus far. A stellar cast (of absolute snacks) couldn’t quite save this film, but it made for some interesting conversations as we break it down beat by sexy beat. Enjoy
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Nothing gets people (and by people, I mean me) more riled up than Star Wars! For whatever reason, the legacy of great art clashing with fandom means inevitable provocation. And such was the case for me with Episode 9. As I’m sure you heard, I had the luxury of utilizing this podcast to attempt to better understand the grievances that people had with Episode 8. And on that episode, I made sure to note just how excited I was for the final installment (at this point in time) of the Skywalker Saga. Wow. What a devastating blow to my universal optimism. As always, I’m terribly sorry if you are someone who enjoyed the film. This may not be the episode you wish to hear. But it needed to be said...all of it. All 2 hours plus of it...okay fine maybe it didn’t need to be that long. But we’re still upset!
Another day, another Netflix original rom-com shamelessly profiting off of the holiday season. Here we have a movie with two people that are far too pretty to be so upset with the world. What makes Holidate different from everything you’ve seen on the Hallmark channel? Well, they drop ‘f-bombs’ more than necessary for one. And for two...no I guess that’s about it. Enjoy this review of Holidate...
We reached Double Digits. So to commemorate this joyous occasion, we decided to watch Halloween 3! The one where they got rid of Michael Myers, the iconic serial killer, in favor of some laser masks controlled by Stonehenge. I wish I was making this up. It’s the kind of film that makes you feel a little better that we don’t currently live in the 80’s because there’s not as many caterpillar mustaches now, villain motivations actually make sense, and children don’t get brutally murdered on screen as often. Yeah, you read that right. A kid gets murdered in this movie. And there’s bugs and snakes involved for some reason. Why? Because it’s the 80’s. Don’t worry just look at Tom Atkins and his caterpillar mustache some more. As insane as it is, my guest actually has a relatively compelling case for it so I highly recommend giving this one a listen. Thanks for letting us get to ten episodes! Featuring Special Guest Star Justin Knoepfel!
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It’s time to vote! And what better movie to discuss while we gear up for an election than Swing Vote! This criminally overlooked Capra-esque picture features one of the most underrated Kevin Costner performances and some of my personal favorite patriotic melodrama in modern cinema. I really hope you check it out, but more importantly I really hope you vote on the 3rd. Unless you live in another country in which case I hope you simply root for America to be better lol.
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Happy Halloween everyone! We kicked off the spooks this month with Human Centipede 2 so it was only natural to end the month with...Casper? Yea, that’s right. The most adorable, harmless ghost movie ever. AND (turns out) a revolutionary film for the digital effects era! Time to re-evaluate if the critics were right or if this spooker deserves a second look.
Happy Hubie Halloween everyone! Hope you’re in the mood for some Adam Sandler insanity! There’s not really much more to say… I mean… the Uncut Gems guy followed it up… with this… so like...here we are...is it good or bad? I don’t know man… enjoy?
Saw is a modern horror classic, an indie staple, and a quintessential Halloween film. It’s also my first introduction to the filmic masters, James Wan and Leigh Whannell, so it has a fair bit of nostalgia factored in as well. The question is: does it hold up? Tune in to listen to us criticize this movie’s runtime while (hypocritically) talking about the movie for even longer.
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I mean...I mean it’s the second one. I’m sorry. I had to. I’m sorry that you have to now too.
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@HiGrantCrawford
Here we have Johnny English, a harmless spy spoof with enough vitriolic, critical infamy to amount to nothing more than an eye roll. Yet, Johnny English has the rare feat of achieving that which Hollywood seldom grants: sequels! So who had it right? The critics who were very tired of Bondian riffs, or the people like my key guest, Mr. Bruley, who just thought it was so much fun? Time for us to figure it out!
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What better way to kick off episode 111 than discussing The First Pokémon movie! Some may describe this as a nostalgia kick in the nads. Others may describe it as that thing their kids liked. But regardless, we can all agree that Ikue Ôtani is the most underrated voice actress in the industry. Oh, and this movie ‘slaps’, actually. As the kids like to say. Enjoy!
It’s over. It’s finally over. I did it. Tune in to find the official ranking of the Sharknado franchise...and to learn about time travel theory in movies and hear me compare this to Avengers: Endgame
What’s better than one musical derived exclusively from ABBA songs? You guessed it. Two musicals derived exclusively from ABBA songs! If you had asked me years ago, “do you think they’ll ever make a sequel to Mamma Mia?” I would’ve absolutely responded, “no chance,” but yet they came through! And they wanted us to ‘Take a Chance’ on them! (Only took me 2 and a half hours to figure out how to get a freaking song lyric into this plot synopsis—bite me. I don’t care if it was lame). Anyway, please enjoy this episode where we discuss if the sequel was truly worth it, if Waterloo makes any sense in this context, and whether or not ‘Knowing Me And Knowing You’ was in the first Mamma Mia!
Naturally, when we were told Power Rangers was getting a moody, mainstream makeover, my reaction was one of hesitation. But through seeing the snippets of trailers, I found myself becoming a little excited. Until the reviews dropped...but now I ask myself as I sit in quarantine, bored and angsty: What better time to watch a gritty Power Rangers reboot than the present? Is it as bad as they said? Or is there a hidden gem to be found here?
If you are obsessed with the Beatles you may be disturbed to know that a musical amalgamation of their classic work exists, but hopefully that does not discourage you from watching Across The Universe, a film that unabashedly loves the source material just as much as what it stands for. Granted, some of the imagery may come across a bit heavy handed, and I certainly had a lot to say about the exclusion of Yellow Submarine, but by and large this film has been overlooked. And we think that’s wrong. So, check out this review!
Jeepers Creepers may sound like the title to a Scooby Doo episode, but it’s actually a cult classic scare fest from the early 2000’s. It has everything you need to incite the heeby jeebies. A freaky monster? Check. A whacky cat lady? Check. Justin Long? Check. Florida? Check. But just because something is spooky, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good...right?
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You can blame Tommy Nelson for bailing on his guest duties this week for another Sharknado review. But you can also thank him because lo and behold Sharknado 5 is actually pretty great. Not necessarily by ‘film standards’, but definitely great by Sharknado standards. Tune in to find out how they pulled it off.
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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen aka millennials’ introduction to legendary actor Sean Connery. It’s a classic tale. One with intrigue, villainy, invisible people, Sean Connery saying something grumpily. You know. All the classic beats. And though it was critically reviled, it still has quite a cult following in modern circles...so...the question must be asked...is it one of those superhero adaptations worthy of redemption? Or is Alan Moore right to disavow himself from versions of his work? And while you’re pondering that, please enjoy Spank Podcasts very own hosts on their first appearance with BMP!
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Bad Boys, the quintessential Dad movie of the 90’s, has established and catapulted numerous careers over the years. Where did it all begin for Michael Bay? How did Will Smith become the mega star we know him as today? And where can you spot Megan Fox in this film? Tune in and you might find out...or you might get lost in our laborious and fumbling plot description, but hey, that’s half the fun!
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I avoided it for as long as I could, but inevitably The Human Centipede had to be discussed on the show. And who better to discuss it with than Grant Crawford who I single handedly brought out of podcast retirement (after I personally retired him myself). Please enjoy our failed attempt to understand exactly how this film became a cultural phenomenon (and whether or not it was all worth it)!
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Kicking off our next 100 episodes with ANOTHER Sharknado film. And what’s more to say that hasn’t been said already? Turns out, a lot. Also, please enjoy a lengthy explanation of our new patreon service at the top of the episode!
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Episode 100...you didn’t want it...but we gave it to you anyway...Bio-Dome. Thank you for your continued support, and (hopefully) for 100 more episodes to come.
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Zoolander is yet another childhood classic for both me AND my guest. And what a deserving entry on the podcast when considering Ebert seemingly considered it the bane of his existence. Is Ben Stiller’s seminal classic worth the hype? Or did it age as poorly as we fear?
A brief disclaimer before the description: I just want to remind everyone that our country is still fighting to recognize freedoms of communities that have been heinously disregarded in basic fundamental rights. This podcast was created in the aim to give criticism and escapism to those who need it, but some do not have the luxury to escape. So while you listen, please consider donating to the tabs listed and help people get justice and freedom that they so rightfully deserve.
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A brief disclaimer before the description: I just want to remind everyone that our country is still fighting to recognize freedoms of communities that have been heinously disregarded in basic fundamental rights. This podcast was created in the aim to give criticism and escapism to those who need it, but some do not have the luxury to escape. So while you listen, please consider donating to the tabs listed and help people get justice and freedom that they so rightfully deserve.
Small Soldiers is the 90’s nostalgia film we deserve. Hyper violent, kind of pro capitalism, and certifiably insane. But that’s not to say it’s bad by any stretch of the imagination. Please enjoy this episode of Toy Story 2:This Time It’s Personal.
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A brief disclaimer before the description: I just want to remind everyone that our country is still fighting to recognize freedoms of communities that have been heinously disregarded in basic fundamental rights. This podcast was created in the aim to give criticism and escapism to those who need it, but some do not have the luxury to escape. So while you listen, please consider donating to the tabs listed and help people get justice and freedom that they so rightfully deserve.
A new release! This one is for all the book fans, all the Disney plus fans, and all the fans of BMP. Artemis Fowl is a beloved YA series for millennials. And after years of development hell, we finally have the opportunity to see a film adaptation. But is it any good? Only one way for us to find out...
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A brief disclaimer before the description: I just want to remind everyone that our country is still fighting to recognize freedoms of communities that have been heinously disregarded in basic fundamental rights. This podcast was created in the aim to give escapism to those who need it, but some do not have the luxury to escape. So while you listen, please consider donating to the tabs listed and help people get justice and freedom that they so rightfully deserve.
Mom and Dad is the best zombie movie of the past five years behind Train to Busan. It is an absolutely unhinged, deranged, delightful experience in just about every way. So why haven’t you heard of it? We explore that and more on this week’s episode and try to get this Nic Cage gem the recognition it deserves. Featuring Special Guest Star Kacey ‘how do you spell that last name, again’ Czosnowski!
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I won’t linger long on an episode description. The nation is grieving right now, and I only hope that this podcast can offer a little respite from the hardships of the world. Top Gun is now heralded as an 80’s classic, but apparently it wasn’t always that beloved. So who was right? Did Top Gun endure only because of American nostalgia? Or is it truly a masterwork? This week, we’re going to find our answer.
Featuring Special Guest Star Lurdes ‘My Aunt and Top Gun Fanatic’ Abruscato!
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Shark Tale is a Will Smith classic that apparently only I remember? While I was trying to find Sharknado 4 for this week’s review, I accidentally stumbled upon this film that I remembered filled me with such joy as a kid. So, naturally, I just had to reorganize my plans and watch Shark Tale until 2 in the morning. If you are a fan of animated mob movies, this is the film for you. If not...I...I don’t know. I can’t help you. This movie rocks. It’s an absolutely underrated gem that I encourage you to revisit. It’s far from flawless, and we’ll get into all of that. But if you’re sitting there wondering whether or not you want to click this episode, GO WATCH SHARK TALE! Then come back and enjoy.
Romero’s original classic, Night of the Living Dead, has literally transcended time so effectively that it still holds firm as a cultural staple in the horror community today. Without it, we may never have truly explored zombies in any media form, and all of the excellent art that has coincided with them. But on the other side of things, we also wouldn’t have been given Night of the Living Dead 3D, which has about as much in common with the original classic as I do with Gianni Versace. The 3D reimagining is about as good as you can expect from looking at the cover, but of course there’s much more to unpack than first meets the eye. So, please enjoy as we dive deep into this world of schlocky, flesh eating carnage. Featuring Special Guest Star Tommy ‘Randal from Monsters Inc’ Nelson!
Guy Ritchie is one of my personal favorite auteurs in modern cinema. Sure, his talents do have inherent flaws (style over substance?; over reliance on visual gimmicks? movies made for dads? Perhaps all of the above?), but undoubtedly Ritchie is a master of crafting entertaining stories that focus on quick witted brits and snappy dialogue to carry dense plot lines through morally murky territory with levity. So, naturally I was stoked to see King Arthur: The Legend of the Sword! Until the reviews came out, and I allowed myself to be dissuaded from the theatrical experience. But today, I’m here with my favorite tall guest to redeem myself and answer the age old question: is it really as bad as the critics said? The answer is simple. It’s got Charlie Hunnam, how bad could it be?
Featuring Special Guest Star Connor ‘irrationally tall? Or is it just me’ Bruley!
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Hit him up on Insta if you’re looking for New York Self Tapes!
If you’ve never heard of Sleepover, have no fear. I certainly hadn’t heard of it. But it’s a cult classic when it comes to tween angst pictures replicating the Disney-Star Magic. It has a laundry list of new-Hollywood greats such as Brie Larson, Evan Peters, Steve Carell, and Jane Lynch! Sleepover certainly won’t assault your senses upon viewing, but its star power definitely props it up as more than the sum of its parts. And the dancing is 10/10 must see. So, maybe check this out if you’re looking to relive your tween rebellion? Or just let us tell you everything that happens. Featuring Special Guest Star Maeve ‘Marvin’ Mayfield!
NOTE: If you wish to avoid book spoilers, skip to roughly the 1 hour 7 minute mark after the spoiler warning!
Episode Description:A change in scheduled programming (at least what I had scheduled for this week), because I just HAD to finally review David Lynch’s cult classic Dune. I very recently finished reading the novel for the first time and felt it necessary to further hype myself by diving directly into the Lynch adaptation and wow was I rewarded...with frustration. As a novel fan, I found Dune (1984) to be a brutally clumsy interpretation with a strong desire to be faithful that ultimately ended up being its demise. And while I don’t consider myself a Dune expert, I simply had to air my grievances on the podcast in the hopes that some dedicated fans would concur with my analysis and help get me even more hyped for the next adaption later this year! So, please enjoy this review where I shout at myself for an hour and a half!
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Mortal Kombat Annihilation is a movie I made with action figures when I was much younger. Thin on plot, yes. Thick on action, you bet your ass. It’s also a movie that was made by actual professionals, and somehow it has the exact same qualifications for its plot/action ratio. Is Mortal Kombat Annihilation ‘good’? What is good, really? Because if it’s just to bring the joy in seeing something so delightfully mishandled and cartoonish, then yes! It’s very good! But if not, then I’m afraid Annihilation has a ways to go. Would I watch it again? Of course. Would I recommend you watch it? That depends. What’s your tolerance for the amount of backflips you want to see in a film?
Featuring Special Guest Stars Matt ‘Cheezy Boy’ Robertson and Johnny Baltimore Barbieri!
Website Links to see what Matt’s working on:
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