Marriage Lab: Recent Episodes
Aaron & Jenna Zint
Aaron and Jenna have been married for over a decade and love talking to people about their relationships, the messiness, the struggle and the victories in all of it. If you're married or planning on it, you can expect 1) Tools for the growth of your marriage and you personally 2) Hope for a healthy marriage no matter what you've experienced up to this point 3) Laughter and comfort when you say, "That's totally us!" and "We've been there!"
Most married couples want to feel connected—they're just exhausted. So connection often ends up looking like quietly watching TV together,
tackling hard conversations about conflict or pain,
or squeezing in the occasional date night (... if time, money, and childcare all cooperate.)
But what if there's another path?
In this episode, we talk about one of our fav connecting rhythms as a couple: learning together.
A short book.
A Bible study.
A topic we're curious about.
It's low stakes, doesn't require someone to be "the problem," and gives us something new to explore together.
We've found that learning introduces fresh ideas, reveals sides of each other we hadn't seen before, and creates meaningful conversations that aren't built around stress, logistics, or conflict. Especially after years of marriage, it can feel like you've already heard all of your spouse's stories. Learning together creates new ones.
If you're looking for a practical, inexpensive, and surprisingly connecting rhythm beyond date nights and difficult conversations, this episode is for you.
Click here for the study on Generosity we mentioned.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
What do you do when you’re losing hope in your marriage/a relationship?
Not because you don’t love your spouse.
Not because you’re giving up.
But because the same painful patterns keep repeating, and you’re exhausted waiting for change.
In this episode, we talk about why many of us misunderstand biblical hope, especially in relationships. We often treat hope like optimism, instant relief, or confidence our spouse will finally change. But what if hope was never meant to work that way?
We explore why hope is not a feeling you wait for, but a perspective you cultivate, how to stay anchored when change feels slow, and why remembering God’s faithfulness matters in seasons of recurring pain.
Because hope doesn’t always change your circumstances immediately, but it does change how you endure while waiting :)
Two Youtube Video Jenna refrenced about Hope:
1 Video for "Remembering"
2 Video for "Remembering"
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Most people think the “never enough” voice in their head is the thing keeping them motivated.
The voice that says:
- You should be doing more.
- You’re behind.
- You’re wasting time.
- You should be further along by now.
But here’s the plot twist: that voice isn’t unique to you.
Almost everyone hears it.
The difference is not who hears it. The difference is who builds their life around it.
The question is whether you’ve mistaken it for wisdom.
In this episode, we unpack the sneaky way self-contempt disguises itself as responsibility, ambition, discipline, or drive. We talk about why so many people accidentally partner with an inner critic they think is helping them succeed—while constantly moving the finish line and dismissing their growth.
We also explore:
• why high-capacity people are especially vulnerable to this mindset
• the difference between healthy conviction and chronic internal criticism
• how the “never enough” voice fuels burnout, shame, comparison, and hopelessness
• why progress becomes invisible when contempt is your measuring stick
• how curiosity creates transformation more effectively than self-hatred ever will
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Emotionally raw seasons can heighten everything—especially the desire to feel seen, known, and secure.
In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to build a preventative habit of anchoring your identity in God first, rather than turning to others to define your worth in vulnerable moments. Over time, you begin to realize that where you go for reassurance in hard seasons shapes not only your peace, but your relationships.
This conversation is about learning to navigate those seasons with more stability, more clarity, and less unnecessary mess along the way.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Ever ask gradually big relationship question in the middle of an argument… and then regretted the answer?
In this episode, we break down a common (but damaging) pattern:
asking life-defining questions when someone is emotionally triggered.
What it often looks like 👇
• “Why didn’t you invite me?”
→ “Do you have more fun with them?”
→ “So you don’t have fun with me?”
→ “Do you even enjoy being around me?”
→“Do you even like me?”
→ “Are you happier without me?”
→ “Is something wrong with us?”
→ “Do you even want this relationship?”
😬 See how fast it escalates?
We unpack:
• Why triggered brains give exaggerated, painful answers
• The “staircase” of escalation most couples fall into
• The difference between curiosity vs. panic-driven questioning
• What’s actually happening in your brain (emotional flooding + amygdala hijack)
• Why you’re not “getting clarity”… you’re digging for pain
And most importantly—
the simple habit that protects your relationship:
👉 Don’t ask big questions when someone is triggered.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation more hurt than helped, this episode will give you a better path:
pause → regulate → return to clarity.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Phone calls with your spouse should be simple… so why do they so often go sideways?
In this episode, we unpack the subtle dynamics that quietly derail connection:
• unspoken expectations
• not checking if the other person even has capacity
• unclear intentions (are we connecting or handling logistics?)
• hoping for something deeper… without saying it
...and the hurt that builds when your spouse can’t show up the way you needed—especially in the middle of a workday
What starts as a quick call can quickly spiral into misunderstanding, frustration, or even conflict that leaks into the rest of your day.
The good news? Most of this is preventable.
We walk you through a simple 3-step framework to help you:
• set clear expectations
• honor each other’s capacity
• and actually get what you need out of the conversation
So your phone calls stop feeling like landmines… and start becoming small, consistent moments of connection (or pure logistics exchange) again.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we unpack one of the most practical distinctions we teach: the difference between a need and a strategy. A need is a relational longing: connection, safety, being seen, being prioritized. A strategy is your idea of how that need should get met: date night, quicker texts, no phones at night, doing the dishes before sitting down.
The problem is, most of us accidentally disguise strategies as needs… and that’s where control sneaks in. We talk about why that feels so painful (for both people), how “requests” turn into “demands” when there’s punishment attached, and why collaboration creates way more buy-in than prescriptions ever will.
We'll talk about how to peel back the strategy to name the real need underneath, so you can fight less about the method and connect more around the longing.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Sometimes self-awareness helps us grow… and sometimes it quietly gives us permission to stay exactly where we are.
In this episode, we talk about the subtle ways insight can turn into self-justification—whether it’s personality types, triggers, habits, or even love languages—and how awareness is meant to become a starting point for transformation, not a comfortable resting place. We share stories from our own marriage about conflict avoidance, travel differences, stress habits, and learning how to let understanding lead to maturity rather than excuses.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “That’s just how I am,” this conversation will help reframe awareness as an invitation to grow—one small, intentional step at a time.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
A story only God could write. 💔➡️❤️
Divorce, divine encounters, heart-level repentance, and a miraculous reconciliation.
Listen to hear Amy's testimony of when God interrupts a story that felt finished.
It will remind you all things are possible with Him.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, Jenna is joined by her nine-year-old daughter, Rosie, for a sweet and surprisingly insightful conversation about what comfort looks like in their family.
Together, they talk about the different “flavors of comfort” each family member needs when big emotions show up—whether that’s physical touch, someone staying close, space to process alone, or quiet presence.
Rosie shares how she prefers space before reconnecting, while Jenna reflects on how having someone in the room can actually make it harder for her to notice what she’s feeling.
The conversation is tender, honest, and full of Rosie’s natural charm.
Toward the end, Jenna also shares a recent meaningful moment they experienced together with the Lord—offering a gentle invitation for parents to cultivate similar moments of connection, emotional safety, and spiritual openness with their own kids.
This episode is both practical and heart-level, and a reminder that learning how we give and receive comfort can deepen our relationships in powerful ways.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Dopamine isn’t just about pleasure.
It’s about seeking.
Your brain lights up most when the reward isn’t guaranteed—
when you’re searching, anticipating, scanning.
This is why elementary kids around the country are stoked out of their minds when they encounter or hear 6,7.
What can we learn here that could help us adults harness & grow our joy as we train our attention intentionally??
Optimism isn’t just a personality trait.
It’s a trained habit of attention.
In this episode, we talk about:
• the dopamine “hunt”
• why unpredictability fuels motivation
• how learned optimism actually works
• and what faith has to do with training your brain to look for goodness
Joy doesn’t come from forcing positivity.
It grows where attention is practiced.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Why do the same conflicts keep showing up in marriage—even when the topic keeps changing?
In this episode, we talk about the power of naming your patterns: the emotional and relational loops that quietly drive conflict, disconnection, and reactivity. We share real examples from our marriage, parenting, and coaching work to show how awareness creates space between a trigger and your response.
When you can name what’s happening inside you—passivity, shutdown, avoidance, mind-reading, or self-rejection—you gain more self-control, clarity, and freedom to choose a different response. This isn’t about suppressing emotions or fixing your spouse; it’s about growing self-awareness so you don’t keep making the same mess.
If you want practical tools for breaking unhealthy patterns, regulating emotions, and creating healthier communication in your marriage, this episode will help you slow down, get curious, and choose differently.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Family visits are supposed to bring connection… but sometimes they bring exhaustion, awkward expectations, and a drained bank account.
In this episode, we’re talking about what to do when the way you’re visiting family isn’t working anymore — and how to get creative about connection without spending a fortune.
We’ll share our own story (including a few hard lessons from our in-laws 😅) and offer practical alternatives for families who live far apart: meeting in the middle, combining trips, camping, even serving together.
If you’ve ever felt torn between your budget and your relationships, this episode will help you rethink what “showing up” can look like in this season.
Click here to donate to our missions trip: Zint family link
To grab Jenna's e-workbook>> Peaceful Christmas Planner
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Ever notice how easy it is to slip into a courtroom conversation?
You start building a case in your head, stacking evidence, rehearsing your defense... all before you’ve actually asked a question.
This week’s episode is about the habit that can stop that spiral before it starts: curiosity.
When something feels off—at work, with your kids, or in your marriage—it’s tempting to assume motives or fill in missing details. But curiosity interrupts that pattern. It slows you down long enough to seek understanding before judgment.
Because the goal isn’t to win an argument; it’s to keep connection.
In this episode, we'll unpack:
• why your brain fills in gaps (and gets the story wrong most of the time)
• how to replace courtroom conversations with curious ones
• a pre-confrontation filter that helps you pause before reacting
Listen to “But First, Curiosity: How to Avoid Courtroom Conversations” wherever you get your podcasts.
Click to join the interest list for Jenna's wives course
Click here for the interest list
Support the show
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here
Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Please don't listen with your kids.
Our case for scheduling sex.
When life gets full—kids, work, ministry, and the endless to-do list—intimacy is often the first thing to slip through the cracks. We’re told sex should always be spontaneous, but in real marriages that can leave couples disconnected and frustrated.
In this episode, we talk honestly about scheduling sex—why it isn’t cold or unromantic, but actually a powerful way to prioritize each other. We’ll unpack the myths around spontaneity, share how intentional rhythms can actually increase desire and connection, and give you practical tools for creating space for intimacy without guilt, pressure, or shame.
If you’ve ever felt like the busyness of life is crowding out closeness, this conversation will help you reframe intimacy as something worth planning for—because a thriving marriage doesn’t happen by accident.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
We all scoff. We all slip into sarcasm.
But what if those “little” habits aren’t as harmless as they seem? Research from the Gottman Institute shows that contempt — often disguised as casual teasing — is the single strongest predictor of death to connection (aka: divorce)
Scoffing, sarcasm, and eye-rolling may feel small in the moment, but they send powerful messages of superiority, dismissal, and disrespect.
In this episode, we unpack how these micro-habits of contempt impact the brain, erode safety, and poison connection in marriage. You’ll hear real-life examples of how scoffing and sarcasm sneak into everyday conversations, what’s really hiding underneath those jabs (hint: it’s often unspoken pain), and practical ways to replace contempt with curiosity and vulnerability.
If you’ve ever said, “Oh, we’re just teasing,” this episode will help you see why even a few “drops of poison” can contaminate the well of your relationship — and how to choose a healthier, more life-giving way forward.
We are giving you a 30 day Challenge: Weed out scoffing & sarcasm from your dialogue. See what a difference it makes. (Remember: don't use this challenge to start tallying how often your partner uses them- mind your half of the yard only :)
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Last time we talked about ruminating vs. processing.
This week, I’m walking you through the how—practical steps to move through pain even if the other person doesn’t respond well.
Here’s the framework:
- Notice your looping → instead, name the feeling
- Untangle your worth from their behavior
- Remind yourself: I can be okay even if…
- Stay rooted in your power—choose your next step
Looping keeps you stuck, but processing sets you free.
Podcasts Referenced in this episode:
- Quit Mind Reading (stop assuming, start asking)
- Offended? Check your boundaries
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Can you tell the difference between when your emotions are hijacking you & when they're helping you?
Noticing and expressing our emotions is a good thing. In fact, it’s vital for a healthy marriage. But there’s a thin line between naming our emotions and over-identifying with them. That’s where we slip into rumination—looping on the hurt, replaying the offense, and assigning meaning that keeps us stuck.
In this episode, we explore the difference between processing your emotions and looping on them. We’ll look at how the brain responds when you over-identify with a painful feeling, why that keeps you in the spin cycle of stress, and how to shift toward processing in a way that actually heals and moves you forward.
You’ll learn:
- Why emotions are valuable signals, but sketchy narrators when you over-identify with them
- How looping recycles pain, while processing frees you—even if your spouse doesn’t respond the way you hoped
- The simple truth of “Looping hurts me. Processing heals me.”
This episode is all about reclaiming the gift of emotion—without letting it hijack your peace.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode of Marriage Lab, Erin and Jenna dive into the do’s and don’ts of processing with your spouse—how to share what’s on your heart in a way that invites care instead of conflict. From everyday recaps to high-stakes conversations, they unpack why intentionality matters, how to check for capacity, and why leading with emotions creates connection. Along the way, they share practical “dos” like focusing on feelings, clarifying expectations, and processing elsewhere first—and the “don’ts” that can derail intimacy, like dumping endless details, seeking commiseration, or winging it in painful moments. They also illustrate how hope, grace, and the Holy Spirit are essential for real transformation in communication and marriage.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Think you’ve forgiven… but still feel stuck? You’re not alone.
Most of us were never taught what real forgiveness looks like—just the performance of it.
Say a prayer. Say the words. Move on.
Except… we don’t.
This episode will shift your view of forgiveness from a moment to a movement—one that actually sets you free.
👇 We’ll cover:
• The sneaky ways we fake forgiveness (without knowing it)
• 6 reflection questions to assess where you really are
• Tiny habits that rewire your brain + soften your heart
• Why peace ≠ emotional distance
• And how to know you’re actually healing
This isn’t about excusing anyone.
It’s about refusing to let bitterness narrate your future.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
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Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Some pain cuts deeper than others—not because it hurts more, but because it feels true. In this episode, we unpack the kind of pain that doesn’t just bruise your feelings, it hits your identity.
We explore three subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways this happens:
• When someone says it outright
• When they imply it
• When you infer it
And then the spiral begins:
– You feel like you have to prove your worth
– You obsess over how they see you
– You shut down, because it felt like a verdict, not just a comment
🔍 We’ll challenge the dangerous trap of letting broken people vote on your value.
💡 And we’ll offer truth that anchors your identity in something unshakeable:
“Your identity is untouchable. It’s not theirs to name—it’s already spoken by the One who made you.”
If you've ever felt like someone else's opinion rewrote your sense of self, this conversation is for you.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Offense Isn’t Just Pain: It’s Pain + Pride
We often think being offended is just another form of hurt—but it’s more than that. Offense is what happens when pain gets tangled with pride. It’s the moment pain hardens into judgment, and we start to feel powerful… while quietly becoming more closed off.
In this episode, we unpack how offense feels like a defense mechanism—but actually keeps us stuck. You’ll learn how offense hijacks your brain’s ability to heal, why it loops like a highlight reel of your rightness, and what that reveals about identity, humility, and emotional maturity.
You’ll hear real-life phrases that often sound self-protective (“I’m not mad, just done”) but are often signs of unchecked offense.
You’ll also get a practical self-reflection tool to help you “spot the offense” and re-center on humility.
Offense might feel like strength—but humility is where the healing begins.
You’ll walk away with:
- A breakdown of how offense affects your brain
- Examples of what offense sounds like in everyday language
- Questions to examine whether you’re stuck in an offense loop
- Clarity on the difference between healthy boundaries and prideful withdrawal
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
What if evangelism wasn’t about striving—but about overflow?
In this special episode, I sit down with a few of my friends fresh off a missions trip to unpack what actually cracked the code for us when it came to sharing Jesus.
Spoiler: it wasn’t a strategy—it was being so connected to the Father’s heart that love naturally led the way.
We talk about what surprised us, what challenged us, and how everyday evangelism becomes possible when we’re moved—not pressured—by love.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
What if the “peace” you’re protecting in your marriage… is actually costing you real connection?
In this episode, we’re unpacking how passivity can disguise itself as love—especially in Christian marriages. We’ve seen it in our own relationship: moments when silence looked like patience, but it was actually fear. Times when we avoided conflict, convinced we were being kind or godly, but bitterness was the fruit.
We explore:
- Why passivity is not the same as peacekeeping
- How we can accidentally mislabel people-pleasing & call it love
- Why stuffing your voice for the sake of love can slowly erode intimacy
3 self-reflection questions :
💭 Is there a situation where I told myself I was “loving” or “being patient”… but now I feel resentful, bitter, or shut down?
💭 Where am I avoiding action, conversation, or boundaries because I’m afraid of how someone will react?
💭 Am I hoping someone else will just “get it” or change, while I silently keep score or build a case in my head?
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
What do you get when you mix a paddleboard, high expectations, and two humans with emotions?
Definitely not the relaxing date we envisioned. But maybe... a deeper kind of win?
This was not our best date… but maybe it was one of our best recoveries.
We went on a paddleboard date thinking it’d be relaxing and fun—but being stuck on the same board triggered us both in different ways.
Instead of letting the day spiral, we each practiced managing our own emotions without blaming the other.
It wasn’t a romantic home run, but it was a huge sign of growth. In this episode, we talk about how emotional flooding can happen even in fun moments—and how the real win is learning to stay connected while dysregulated.
Because the goal isn’t to never get triggered—it’s to grow in how you show up when you are.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we’re tackling a subtle but serious issue in marriage: isolation.
What happens when your spouse becomes your only source of connection?
Spoiler: it doesn’t lead to thriving.
We talk about:
- Why consistent, same-gender friendships are crucial—especially for accountability, encouragement, and emotional health
- How couples slowly drift into “island mode” without realizing it
- The specific ways isolation often impacts men vs. women
- Why expecting your spouse to meet all your relational needs (outside of Jesus) is too heavy—and how to shift that dynamic
If you’ve been feeling disconnected or overly dependent on your spouse for all of your emotional or spiritual needs, this episode is your invitation to make a gentle, healthy change.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
🎉 It’s our 16th anniversary, and apparently our marriage is now old enough to get its driver’s license. 😅
But let’s be real—
Even after 16 years, date night convo doesn’t always flow naturally (especially when we’re tired or parenting has fried our brains).
So we decided to change that.
💬 In this episode, we:
- Answer 16 intentional + fun questions—one for each year we’ve been married
- Share laughs, real talk, and a few surprise answers
- Invite you to ask the same questions on your next date night
📝 Want the full list of questions to try with your spouse?
Download the free Google Doc here 👉 [Click here]
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Not all breakthroughs come in a flash. In this episode, we talk about the kind of transformation that happens slowly—over months or even years. The kind you don’t always see until you look back and realize, we’re not where we used to be.
We fully believe in sudden miracles. We’ve seen God move in dramatic ways.
But in our own marriage, most of the lasting change has come through showing up when things felt stuck… choosing connection in the face of apathy… and staying present when it would’ve been easier to pull away.
If you’re in a season where growth feels slow or invisible, this one’s for you.
You might be in the middle of a miracle—you just haven’t seen the fruit yet.
Call to Action:
If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @zintmarriagelab.
And if you’re walking through a slow season in your marriage, check out our coaching options at zintsquad.com—we’d love to support you.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we talk about the often-overlooked rhythm of re-entry—what it looks like when one spouse returns from a trip and the home dynamic shifts again.
We share how we’ve learned to treat that adjustment period with extra care, tweak our habits, and give each other grace instead of expecting a seamless snap-back to normal.
If you’ve ever had a rocky re-entry, this one’s for you.
You just might walk away with a few new habits to try next time one of you heads out on a solo trip.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Birthdays—love them or dread them, they can be a surprisingly tense topic in marriage. 🎂 From unspoken expectations to last-minute letdowns, these special days often carry more emotional weight than we realize. In this episode, we’re diving into the highs and lows of celebrating birthdays with your spouse, sharing our own birthday wins and major misses over the years.
You’ll hear about:
✅ The silent pressure & expectations that often ruin birthdays
✅ Why no one should be the designated party planner for life 🎉
✅ How to openly communicate what you actually want for your birthday (without disappointment)
✅ A simple habit that can transform how you and your spouse handle celebrations
If birthdays have ever felt like a minefield in your marriage, this episode is for you! Plus, we share some funny personal stories—including the time Aaron got Christmas-colored storage bins for Jenna as a birthday gift. 😬
Listen in and learn how to make birthdays a joy instead of a battle!
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we’re tackling the hidden ways we sabotage our own connection in marriage—especially when we expect our spouse to read our minds. No matter what it is, waiting for them to magically meet our unspoken needs is a passive approach that creates distance instead of intimacy. We’ll explore why taking the risk to express what we truly need leads to deeper belonging, even when it feels vulnerable. Join us as we break down how to move past the fear of rejection and start building the connection you actually want.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we talk about our respective styles of processing how we are feeling. Aaron is an external processor, needing to externalize what's he's feeling in order to understand it. Jenna is an internal processor, needing time to internally mull over what she's feeling in order to understand it. These two different styles can make conflict unnecessarily difficult unless you know how to work with them. We'll share the growth paths for each to avoid the common pitfalls in relationship.
Links from episode:
Attachment Styles Episode
That's What She Said Tool Episode
Core Emotion Wheel
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we continue our conversation about changing how we show up in conflict by focusing on the choice we have in how we respond to our spouse’s pain. When your spouse shares hurt, are you holding out your compassion cup, or are you holding out your identity cup? We explore how defensiveness often signals that we’re interpreting their pain through the lens of our own identity and fears, rather than listening with genuine compassion. The truth is, we can only find our identity in God, not in how our spouse’s emotions reflect on us. Tune in as we discuss how to let go of defensiveness, embrace vulnerability, and choose compassion in the midst of conflict to build a stronger, more loving connection.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Most people use Courtroom tactic when in conflict in their marriage or in other relationships.
In this episode we unpack why this strategy is ineffective for real transformation. We get stuck "lawyering up" and end up adding pain to the initial incident.
In this episode, we talk about where the real power is for transforming your marriage. It's found in the counter-intuitive grace and mercy in the Kingdom and out of the courtroom.
Do you really believe The Kingdom Jesus pitched in the sermon on the mount- has the power He claimed? If so- why are we not ditching our worldly attempts at navigating conflict for the upgrade that's available to us!
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
This episode is the third in a series on being triggered. So what do we do when our spouse is triggered? Well, we certainly don't tell them they're triggered. That never helps. Instead we get to offer our own peace and calm as we approach them with curiosity and compassion. And when we know we won't have that available to give, we use the "pause" that we would've agreed to back when we were both in a regulated state.
Link to Order of Operation Episode
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Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
Following up the last episode titled, "The Science of 'Triggered'", we talk about what the four most common triggered responses are (Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn), what they look like in action and ultimately what growth and healing looks like
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
"Triggered" has become a buzzword in our culture in recent and it's been commonly used to describe an experience for which someone else is responsible and therefore someone else's responsibility to manage.
In this episode, we break down the science of what's happening physiologically when we get triggered and the truth about what we're invited to into when it happens, especially in relationship to our spouses.
Our self-awareness around our own triggered states is the first step to treating the people closest to us like Jesus would: in self-controlled, vulnerable love that is not full of connection-breaking self-protection.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode we talk about how our connection with Jesus has grown and been shaped over the past year through small, consistent action.
How to Build a Bible Habit That Sticks! - Video
Crisis of Faith episode - Marriage Lab
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode we talk about one of the central tenets to experiencing life-long sustainable change both within yourself and within your relationships: learning to engage your inner scientist instead of your judge. The judge is your inner critic focusing on the results, casting judgement and contempt towards who you are based on your behavior. The scientist is your inner curiosity focusing on the variables, looking for creative solutions for the underlying reasons behind your behavior.
When we learn to choose curiosity over contempt, we find more solutions, but even better, we learn to engage ourselves and others with the kindness that God gives us that leads to sustainable change (Romans 2:4).
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode we talk over how we intentionally plan for a peaceful holiday season when you both have different ideas about what that means. If you would like an assist in your planning grab a copy of Jenna's Peaceful Christmas Planner
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode we discuss how often our logical conversations can turn into emotional ones and what to do when that happens.
Refer to our episode: How to stop fighting over stupid stuff
For the Peaceful Christmas Planner, email zintmarriagelab@gmail.com.
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we dive deep into the art of sharing pain with vulnerability and compassion. We also address the common challenge of feeling a deficit after sharing and how to turn to the Lord to fill those emotional gaps. This episode is packed with practical exercises and guidance to help you speak your pain effectively while maintaining love and connection in your relationship. Tune in for powerful strategies that can transform how you and your spouse communicate during difficult moments.
Previous episode links:
- 7 Unhelpful Habits About Sharing Pain
- 10 Helpful Habits About Sharing Pain
- Core Emotion Wheel
Get my Habit Reboot E-Course!
Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
How many times has conflict in your marriage led to a huge blow up? One person starts off by trying to share their heart and an hour later you're both left with more hurt than where it started? There's a reason this happens. Most of the time it can be found when the order of operation is broken.
The order of operation in math states that to find the correct answer to an equation, you must know what order to solve it in. When our conflicts go awry, there was likely a break in the proper order which is as follows:
1. One person is the designated speaker (let's say they are the ones holding the proverbial "talking stick"). They share their pain
2. The other person is the designated listener (they are not holding the talking stick). Their sole responsibility is to validate and understand what they speaker is sharing.
3. When the speaker feels heard and understood, then and only then should the talking stick be passed. And it must be passed by the speaker, not taken by the listener.
In this episode we list the ways we commonly break the order of operation and leave the speaker feeling invalidated or unheard. See if you can recognize where you've broken the order so that you can catch it next time.
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Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode, we interview Jill & Mitch Martin who’ve been empty nesters for the past 7 years and what connection has looked like for them before and after their kids left the house.
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Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
In this episode we talk about the culture shifting power of apologies; offering them freely and frequently. This is different than fawning which is apologizing for anything and everything in an attempt to appease or placate. This also different than admitting guilt or wrongdoing. The kind of freely-given, frequent apologies we're talking about are those that begin with a recognition that my actions affect my spouse. And there are plenty of scenarios in a given day when I miss the mark. Not because I sinned or had ill-intent, but because I'm human. It's an exercise in radical ownership that my actions and words are powerful and even when they are pure-intentioned, they may affect someone in a way they weren't meant to. Offering frequent and freely-given apologies, nurtures empathy and tells your spouse, I care how I affect you.
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Support the show
Become a sponor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
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Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Links:
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
- Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn
This episode shares one of the simplest and yet most profound keys to changing the culture in your marriage. Gratitude. Now hear us out! We will share how gratitude provides one of the greatest ROI's in relationships, how we will face internal resistance to it, what it looks like to create practical habits and real life stories of it at work in our marriage.
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
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Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode, Jenna and Aaron share the secret sauce to seeing change in your marriage. It's simpler than you think. Just more humbling.
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries.
Main takeaways:
- If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your buttons and you are responsible for them
- If you are the one unintentionally pushing buttons, it's not your fault that they have those buttons, but choose kindness and stop pushing
- Boundaries are meant to protect the connection, not just yourself.
- Pausing when you get highly dysregulated (read: triggered, highly emotional) can keep your conflict from becoming War (war = for there to be peace, only one person can be right or win; conflict = for there to be peace, two people can see it differently)
- Nurturing fondness for your spouse through intentional gratitude can change your heart and lead to quicker connection when there is conflict
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode we explore the pitfalls of comparing your spouse to others and the negative impact it can have on your relationship. This comparison can create feelings of judgment and inadequacy, leading to a decline in positive affection and increasing resentment. By idealizing other people's spouses, you set unrealistic expectations and can inadvertently foster a sense of longing or even lust for qualities that are not present in your partner. This pattern is dangerous for creating, healing or maintaining connection. The conversation emphasizes the importance of focusing on the positive attributes of your spouse and being mindful of how comparisons can erode the foundation of your relationship.
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Take 10 week to invest in building better habits with
Jenna's Mastery Course *
Class starts Oct 1, 2024-
Can passivity be the silent killer in your marriage? In this episode, Aaron and Jenna get real about their own struggles with passivity, sharing how ignoring, avoiding, or delaying discomfort led to feelings of being stuck. Through candid personal stories, they shed light on how this behavior can evolve into rationalizations and bitterness, affecting everything from relationships to personal growth. Aaron also provides insight into his upcoming online small group for porn recovery, where passivity is a common issue, while Jenna talks about managing her impulsive reactions and learning to take measured, thoughtful actions.
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode of Marriage Lab, Aaron and Jenna dive into the realities of maintaining a strong connection in marriage, especially during transitions and busy seasons. They share personal stories and insights on how small, consistent habits can significantly impact a marriage's health. They discuss how even brief disconnects, like those experienced during family trips or shifts in routines, can affect a relationship. The couple emphasizes the importance of being intentional in creating connection points, even if they are as simple as a short morning walk or sitting together outside. They also address common issues such as one partner feeling like they are always the one initiating connection and how to shift perspectives to maintain a proactive and hopeful approach to fostering intimacy. The episode offers practical advice on finding small but meaningful ways to stay connected, advocating for consistency over grand gestures.
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode, we talk about our tells around defensiveness. What are the signs that we are becoming defensive as a listener, specifically when our spouse is sharing pain? Here are a few we identify within ourselves:
- The desire to edit the details of what the other person is sharing
- Interrupting the speaker
- Judging the speakers thoughts and/or feelings
- Feeling anger (frustration, annoyance)
- Wanting to explain myself
These are signs that our defenses our up and our ears and empathy is off.
What are you tells around defensiveness?
Finally, we talk about what to do with that defensiveness. Explore what you are actually defending to find out what needs attention within yourself!
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode our good friends, Jordan and Claire, share with us how they each grew in the ability to care for each others needs despite the fear that their own would never get met. Jenna and I (Aaron), have done a number of Couples Coaching sessions with them in which we witnessed a masterful use of the communication tools in the midst of processing pain and feeling defensiveness.
They discuss how to properly validate, have compassion and help the other person feel seen and heard before passing "the talking stick". They also share how they've learned to ride the wave of defensiveness and triggers that inevitably happen when their spouse shares pain involving them.
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
It's been both our experience of ourselves and of many other marriages that we've coached, that there is one spouse who has a propensity towards Control. We define "control" as one person's attempt at manipulating the outcome through managing another person's actions.
In this episode, Jenna talks about how control shows up for her and what is happening on a deeper level, namely with fear. She lays out the growth path for those who are struggling with trying to control their spouse and the pitfalls that line that path. Aaron talks about his experience of being on the other end of control and the growth path for him out of victimhood and the false belief that anyone actually control you.
Links for upcoming courses and coaching options:
- The Habit Lab Mastery Course
- Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
- Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode the Zints share about 4 ways to move away from "Roommate mode" and back to intimate connection with your spouse. These include:
- Sharing openly what you're experiencing without blaming (use emotion language and share about yourself, not the other person).
- Be intentional with your connection time.
- Express affection: small gestures of affection like holding, hands, hugging or complimenting each other
- Get help. Your marriage shouldn't be lived in isolation. Bring others in for perspective, encouragement and even advice.
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Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
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Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Don't be overwhelmed by your summer!
You can balance all that's on your plate- while still hitting your hopes.
Grab Jenna's mini course as your guide to: Set-Up Your Summer In this episode- Jenna & Aaron talk about how you can do the same thing but with a different motivation- and it can shift everything.
What is your motivation?
Are you telling yourself you are powerless & "have to do XYZ" because of your spouse?
That's your sign your feeding resentment.
What if you simply switched your self talk & looked at all the ways it was an investment? You'd then be empowering yourself to make a choice to do it vs feeling forced.
Choosing your motivation- is a key to maturity.
So what's your motivation?
Are you doing this out of feeling forced? That'll feed resentment.
Are you choosing to do this? That'll feed investment.
The choice is yours.
Only you can control yourself.
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Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
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Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Buy Jenna's mini-course: Setting-up Your Summer.
Dr. Gary Chapman's Love Languages concept and consequent books revolutionized our understanding of how we communicate, hear and receive love, especially in marriage. It became a tool we used constantly to better understand ourselves and our spouse.
And, we commonly misused this tool as a way to better serve ourselves rather than its original intent: to love others better.
This is what we'd call a user error. When the concept of love languages gets weaponized as a measuring stick for how your spouse is failing you, you invite bitterness and resentment in.
At the end of our life, we don't give an account for how well our spouse loved us. We give an account for how well WE learned to love.
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Aaron and Jenna begin a series titled "What I wish I knew" sharing what they wish they'd learned early in marriage. This first part dives into the topic of "urgency." Most conflicts in the early stages of relationships feel urgent. They become very high stakes when they don't need to be. Why? Because it's possible to be connected even when there is no resolution to the problem.
This brings us to the scripture from Ephesians 4:26 "...Do not let the sun go down on your anger..." or more commonly stated, "Don't go to bed angry." This scripture has been used as fuel for the sense of urgency, causing many couples to stay up well into the night attempting to hash out their problems. And yet, we're well aware that two sleepy, dysregulated people are not effective communicators.
You might ask, "Are you saying that we should go ahead and go to bed angry?"
We're saying that going to bed without a solution is not the same thing as going to bed angry. We believe that that scripture is more about not letting resentment and bitterness continue to fester, than it is about feeling an emotion at a certain time of day.
It's possible to go to bed not having a solution and to be connected at the same time. Being connected is what pushes out bitterness and resentment and it's not synonymous with having resolution in conflict.
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Link to online small group interest form: HERE
Laughter echoes through even our most challenging times, and this episode kicks off with a tale from a men's retreat that'll have you chuckling along with us. But as our conversation turns, we confront the shadows within marriage—specifically, the silent struggle of porn addiction. We open up about the emotional toll this addiction takes on the non-addicted spouse, illustrating the journey through feelings of betrayal to finding a path towards healing and understanding within the relationship.
Navigating the murky waters of shame and betrayal requires a delicate touch, and this episode doesn't shy away from the tough discussions. We explore the necessity of validating a hurt partner's feelings and the potential harm in concealing pain. Sharing our perspective, we stress the importance of choosing confidants wisely—those who can offer wisdom and hope—while avoiding the pitfalls of codependency and learning to let go of the illusion of control, allowing for true healing to begin.
Wrapping up, we impart strategies for coping with addiction within a marriage, focusing on the need for personal accountability and external support systems rather than relying solely on a partner for recovery. We dissect the complexities of the recovery journey, advocating for realistic expectations and personal peace regardless of a partner's progress. This episode isn't just about sharing our own experiences—it's about offering hope and practical advice for those walking this tough road alongside us.
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Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Needing support in walking out of a porn addiction? Join Aaron's Online Small Group which is set up to help men struggling with porn to get connected and begin to bring attention to the areas in their life that makes porn feel like the best and only option.
You can also check out Aaron's book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn.
In this episode, Aaron talks about how most porn addictions start at a young age and are sustained through adulthood through cycles of isolation, passivity and pain. This episode is mostly geared towards those who don't have a porn addiction themselves but may be in relationship with someone who is.
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Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
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Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
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3 Unpopular Opinions About Porn
- Your porn use is not a reflection on your spouse. That is, it's not their fault
- Porn is not your problem. Porn is the solution you've chosen to the real problem
- You and God cannot fix this. It must be you and God and other people.
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Have you ever said, "We got in a big fight about something so small and stupid!" It happens in every marriage when there is emotional pain behind a "small and stupid" logistical problem.
In this episode, Jenna and Aaron reverse engineer their fight about a toothbrusher charger and how something so small and stupid had the potential to create a lot of disconnection but didn't.
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Do you know what prolongs most conflict? The thing that keeps people stuck in disconnect? The pursuit of fairness.
Why? Because it hinders love itself. Jesus didn't model fairness in His life or sacrifice. He modeled sacrificial love.
Love, as Jesus modeled it, will transform your marriage.
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In this episode, our friends Megan and Dalen Philp (not Philips...woops sorry guys) share the hope they found in their marriage of 20 years after they began to deconstruct the gender roles that they'd held onto so inflexibly for so many years.
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Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
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Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode, we break down 10 helpful beliefs about sharing pain.
Get the infographic notes here.
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Jenna and Aaron share 7 unhelpful beliefs people have (they themselves used to have) about sharing pain with your spouse. Stay tuned for an episode on the helpful beliefs!
Here is a review of those 7 unhelpful beliefs:
- Tell them everything I’m thinking
- Reveal to them how they hurt me
- Get them to see how they failed me
- I can resolve my hurt by hearing an apology/admission of guilt
- This is urgent. Don’t go to bed angry (two sleepy dysregulated people are horrible communicators)
- The goal of conflict is to eliminate future pain or to become pain free
- It’s a one and done. If we can have this convo long enough we will fix it once and for all
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Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out his book on the same subject. Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode, we interview our friends Anna & Alan Mullikin who share about the breaking of a ten year cycle. We were so encouraged by their story and know that this testimony is for everyone who's felt hopeless in their own cycles of pain and hurt in their marriage. You can follow Anna at
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out his book on the same subject. Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
We interviewed our friends Joaquin and Renee Evans pastor a church called Bethel Austin in Austin, Texas. In this episode they share about what it requires of them to co-pastor a large church while staying connected in their marriage and in their family life.
They hit on:
- Boundaries
- Intentionality
- Signs of disconnection
- Time to get away just the two of them
- Staying connected to mentors and peers
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out his book on the same subject. Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In a previous episode, we when into depth about no requiring an apology from your spouse when you felt hurt from them but rather focusing on sharing your heart in order to be known. This is one side of the coin for us. And an important one at that. The other side is that due to not requiring apologies from each other, we wind up giving way more genuine apologies than ever before.
In this episode, we talk about how the lack of requiring an apology from each other and the grace that accompanies that allows for genuine repentence and a desire to change in order to take better care of each other's heart. Isn't this the basis of Romans 2:4, that His kindness is meant to lead us to repentence and not his anger, guilt or shame? That's what He does for us and we want to be more like Him. This is one of the ways we do that.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.
Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out his book on the same subject. Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Choosing a spouse is choosing the person you'd like to offer the most forgiveness to of anyone else over a lifetime. Why? Because the intimacy in marriage creates more opportunity for hurt than any other relationship. Therefore, to have a thriving marriage, we must lean into the heart of Jesus and forgive each other like He forgave us. Generously, for the big and the little trangresses, without measure.
Especially when we feel we've been hurt by our spouse so often or so deeply, it can feel like an injustice to offer forgiveness. It feels unfair. Like they don't deserve it. It feels like "healthy boundaries" to withhold it. And yet, Jesus showed us a better way. One that actually produces transformation. That way is forgiveness. It's part of what loving your spouse means and love never fails.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.
Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out his book on the same subject. Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Have you ever been trying to honestly explain what you're thinking or feeling and say the words "Part of me feels..." or "Part of me thinks..."? Most people do intuitively.
In this episode we talk about how to utilize this phrase into our communciation with our spouse to give the most accurate picture of what's happening inside of us. We also explore how this is used in therapy and how you can use it to bring more compassion and connection within yourself.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.
Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out his book on the same subject. Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode we break down a couple tools for connecting with your spouse even when you're in the middle of conflict or have something unresolved between you both.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.
Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out his book on the same subject. Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book couples coaching & individual coaching.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
Have you ever been looking forward to the weekend only to find that what was intended to be restful and relaxing, never actually filled you up? Have you ever headed back into your workweek feeling like you wasted an opportunity to take good care of yourself and your family?
We definitely have! In this episode, we talk about the shift that's happened in the last year that has transformed our weekends, especially with young kids, into times of true rest, rejuvination and connection.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode we talk with our friend Serena Angeli who has gone on her own journey around awareness, understanding and growing in her attachment style. Interestingly, she began her journey with an avoidant style and later with an anxious style. Jenna and I, Aaron, talk about how our avoidant and anxious styles, respectively, seem to perfectly trigger each other. Each of us talk about the growth paths we've identified for our specific styles.
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode Aaron & Jenna talk about what to do when you feel like your spouse is stuck in life.
- the common mindsets the pop up when you recognize your spouse is stuck
- what to avoid
- the best ways to help
Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode we interview our friends Autumn and Andrew Elliott. They saw a major turn in their connection after some counseling revealed a need for a "baseline." This baseline served as their way to stay connected on the most basic level so that the small conflicts that used to tank them before were no longer pulling them down. Another possible name for this "baseline" are "connection habits." It was a few simple, basic habits they put in place that got them out of the red and to a good baseline from which they could get through the craziness of their schedules and find even deeper connection.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!
In this episode, we interview our friends Ryan & Jessica Casey about how their individual journey's of growth, risk and healing contirbuted to their ability to connect as a couple.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this extra vulnerable episode, Aaron shares his journey walking through a crisis of faith and Jenna shares her experience walking with him in it.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this episode, we talk about what self-compassion is, the importance of it and the impact of it in our lives. We both have our own journey learning we needed it and walking it out for ourselves. There is no finish line. It's an ongoing part of what makes it possible for us to not only love ourselves well, but to love each other, our kids and everyone else well.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this episode we dive into the habits of physical health that have been slowly but surely building in our lives over the past couple years. We share our journey about pain felt when one spouse is pursuing fitness and the other doesn't want to join. We also talk about ways to create life-long habits of health.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
Jenna and I had a few therapy sessions which help shed some light on the triggers that came up in our last hard conversation. We begin to unpack those in this episode. It's not all resolved but we're still moving forward. Little bits of better over a long period of time.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this episode Jenna and Aaron share their recent conflict that is still not fully resolved, though they are staying connected in the midst of it. This conflict has surfaced many times throughout their marriage: Jenna feels lonely with the household chores, as well as family responsibilities and family connection; Aaron feels sad and fearful that he will never be able to do enough to help Jenna feel different.
This episode is a recap of how the recent series of conversations went. The connection was maintained throughout those conversations, even in the midst of the pain, because they chose to listen and not defend, pulling on their "They can be sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," and "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they're bad," ideas.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
Have you ever felt like you've "failed" at vacationing? Like the very thing you've been looking forward to for so long winds up disappointing or becoming even more disconnecting than normal life? Jenna and I (Aaron), have been here countless times in our decade and a half of marriage and in this episode we talk about what we've learned over that time that has helped shape our vacations into times of rest, rejuvination and reconnection.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this episode, Jenna and I (Aaron) invited our besties Eli Leedy and Michelle Thompson. This is our first interview with a non-couple. Eli is single (as of the release date......ladies) and Michelle is married. We've got at least 10 years of history with each of them individually and we've each experienced our share of highs and lows.
In this episode we answer these questions:
- What's a painful situation we've had to navigate?
- What is something we've had to grow in as friends?
- What role does this friendship play in your life? What needs does our friendship not fill for you?
The wisdom and wit of these two is fantastic and we had so much fun in this conversation. Enjoy!
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
I don't believe we have any children listening to our podcast, so I think it's safe to say, you are an adult and you fall into one of these categories:
- You have great friends and would love to sustain them
- You don't currently have many friends and want more
- You have friends but would love more depth/time/fun
In this episode Jenna and I (Aaron) talk about our journey of navigating friendships in adulthood. This is a time in our lives when it requires a lot of intentionality to start, build and maintain good, deep friendships. We don't naturally see them everyday at school, we have jobs and a family and we are super busy. So what do we do to build them and what do we do to strengthen them? That's what we'll be hitting on in this episode.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this episode, Jenna shares what it's like having ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) and how the differences in her how brain works affects her ability to perceive time, the way she stores and retrieves information and how it affects her ability to focus. Aaron talks about what it's like being married to someone with ADHD and how to navigate it with grace.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
As we began to practice vulnerably sharing our hearts with each other, we found that we often ran into trouble when the listener would get defensive. So we started asking ourselves, what is it about the way I'm sharing my feelings that puts them on the defense?
We found defensiveness shows up strongest for these reasons:
- Sometimes our "feelings" (read: emotions), are really disguised opinions, judgments or blame. For example, "I feel disrespected" is first of all, not an emotion at all, but a passive way of saying, "You disrespected me." Disrespecting someone is not as much as action as it is an intention of the heart. Of course someone would get defensive hearing that.
- Even when we managed to perfectly Connection Code our way through the vulnerable share and use one of the 8 core emotions, we as the listener had to train ourselves with the new belief that, "I can connect with their 'sad' and it doesn't mean I'm bad." Basically that my spouse can be hurt by me or be in emotional pain because of me and it doesn't actually mean that I've done something wrong. Necessarily paired with this is the belief that we began training ourselves to take on as the speaker, which is, "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad." My pain does not equal the guilt of another.
- Finally, the heart of this episode. Because I'm feeling pain (read: sad, hurt, anger, fear, lonely, guilt or shame) that was triggered by my spouse, I'm going to share it with them, as I've learned holding it in breeds disconnection. However, I am not going to share this with them with the expectation/requirement that they apologize for causing me pain, nor am I going to expect/require they change their behavior.
This is where it's easy to lose people. "What do you mean they don't need to apologize?" I'm not actually suggesting there isn't something to apologize for. What I'm suggesting is that our attempts at vulnerability turn into subtle attempts at control when we follow our emotions with the expectation or requirement that the listener admit their guilt by saying, "I was wrong, forgive me." Furthermore, to require that someone change their behavior in order for me to be okay (read: not sad anymore, not alone anymore, not fearful anymore), is classically called co-dependence.
The good news is that hearing our spouse show up in true vulnerability inspires us to action. True vulnerability is the expression of our emotions that invites another to simply be with us in it. It's the act of getting known, not making demands. That place is one where we invite others to show up as the best version of themselves. It's from that place that the heart of our spouse gets to become their most authentic, creative, curious, compassionate and intentional selves. Quite the opposite when they are on the defensive.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
Stacey Cook took Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course last semester and joins us with her husband to talk about the life change both she and he have experienced as a result of implementing (keyword) the tools learned from the course. In this episode you'll hear them talk about:
- the transformation of debunking the all-or-nothing mentality
- the power of processing emotion with regularity
- how someone who is already disciplined and structure can find new life and connection using relational habits
The Cooks also share with us how they started implementing the "That's What She Said" tool from episode 18 and what it did for their relationship.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk about the nuances of defensiveness when two people are communicating pain. The biggest struggle in learning to express emotion on a regular basis has been the defensiveness that inevitably arises as the result of our partner sharing pain that we caused. Aaron shares that playing the role of the victim typically results in defensiveness that is blaming. "If I feel sad, then that means you are bad/guilty/wrong/etc." Jenna shares that playing the role of the rescuer typically results in defensiveness that is internally focused shame. "If you feel sad, then that means I am bad/guilty/wrong/etc."
They share the pathway to changing this unhelpful dynamic in bringing awareness to our styles of relating and then practicing through repetition, "I can connect to their sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," or "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad."
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.
In this episode we talk about the difficulty and necessity of keeping your heart soft in the middle of a hard conversation. This is one of the most difficult things to do when you are triggered, but it's the only path to connection in conflict. Jenna describes our recent car-buying experience and all of the strong emotion that arose with it and how she navigated the difficulty of it while keeping her heart soft. Aaron had his own work to do in the midst of it to keep his own heart soft.
Your situation may not have been the same but you'll probably be able to relate.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
In this episode, we review a tool Jenna created (and Aaron named) called That's What She Said. It's a tool for when you're dysregulated because of something your spouse said. Wives, feel free to change it to That's What He Said. Aaron shares how he used this tool a couple times recently around their sex life. You can do this by yourself (self-regulating) or with another person (co-regulating). Here is the gist of the tool.
- Write down what he/she actually said (the literal words).
- Write down what you heard them say. This is commonly referred to as the story we are telling ourselves.
- Write down a different story that casts the other person in a positive light, giving them the benefit of the doubt and thinking the best of what they actually meant. If the literal words are unkind such as "You are the worst," then the story you are going to tell yourself in this step is how those words really aren't about you but are about pain they are experiencing.
The point of this exercise is to recognize when we are dysregulated not because of what they said but because of our imaginary ability to read someone's mind and determine their motives and hidden messages. We all think we're really good at this and some Christians may even label this as "discernment." However, the fruit of this "knowing" of ours is so full of disconnection, that we have an opportunity to question our stories and to write better ones.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
We had our friends Morgan & Chris Nicholson on to talk about how they went from a volatile first few years of marriage to a thriving couple today. They share their experience of years of disconnection and hurt and the transformation that came from bringing others into their process and taking ownership for making change within themselves individually.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
This week we interview our friends Sam & Rebecca LaRobardiere. Sam owns a local award-winning coffee shop and roastery called Theory. Rebecca is a certified Sex Coach. Both of these pursuits happened during marriage with young kids. We watched as they both pursued the dreams that were on their heart while maintaining connection with each other and as a family. As they share in this episode, it was done perfectly and they learned a lot along the way.
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
Danny and Sheri Silk are the creators of the organization Loving on Purpose which is a resource for people who want relationships that are full of hope, solid communication skills and ultimately a loving connection. They have classes, courses, teachings, books and resources for better marriages, parenting and relationships in general. Danny has written multiple life-changing books including Unpunishable, Culture of Honor, Loving Our Kids on Purpose, Powerful & Free, and Keep Your Love On as well as having co-authored numerous others. He and his daughter Brittany host the KYLO Show podcast, KYLO standing for Keep Your Love On.
Danny and Sheri were pastors at Bethel church for many years and were our first introduction to what it meant to live an emotionally intelligent and relationally connected life. They were and continue to be transformational in both of our lives. Danny even wrote an endorsement for my book Numb to Known which was incredibly generous of him. Please check out their website when you get a chance LovingOnPurpose.com.
While you’re at it, check out our website ZintSquad.com, where you can find information about Jenna’s life-changing Habit Mastery Course. Every one of us has innumerable habits in our life that we’ve intentionally or unintentionally created and they are either serving us well, just getting us by or taking from us. In Jenna’s course, she uses the science of behavior change and the psychology of the mind and heart to help people build habits that not only help you build the life you didn’t know was possible but one that is sustainable. In this course, you’ll get practical tools to overcoming life-long roadblocks that have felt impossible to move past. You’ll create your own habits throughout the course guidance from Jenna herself who is the best person I know at encouraging, ideating, iterating and sustaining sustainable change.
They are currently in the middle of one of the 12 week courses that she offers, so if you want to get on the waitlist, go to ZintSquad.com and click on Habit Mastery Course at the top.
While you’re there, you can book a one-on-one coaching ses
For 20% of a Connection Codes Masterclass, go to ConnectionCodes.co and use the code "ZINT20"
We highly recommend these life changing courses from the Hills.
We are excited to have Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill back on the podcast to talk about Sex! The Hills are the creators of the Connection Codes which has changed thousands of lives in helping couples and individuals alike understand how they are wired (coded) to connect with others through the processing and sharing of emotion. Jenna and I have been specifically impacted by their teaching and guidance as it has come to influence just about everything in our lives.
In this episode, we talk about Valentine's Day coming up in a few weeks and how much pressure and expectation can be put on this day especially for couples around the area of sex and romance.
Our sexual connection as married couples can be rife with hurt, sadness, fear or shame. If that feels true for you, notice how each of those are core emotions. If they are felt, they need to be processed with your partner in order to create connection and mend disconnection. In this episode, we dive into what that looks like and the benefits of processing sexual emotion in your relationship.
To hear more about the Zints have to offer, check out our website, ZintSquad.com. We having individual and couples coaching sessions available and you can also check out my book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn
In this episode, Jenna and Aaron take some time to define vulnerability and talk about what it looks like to practice vulnerability in relationships. Vulnerability is the act of revealing your internal world to another person, giving them access to affect you. This act is inherently risky but it is the only way to invite safety into the relationship. They also dive into the common obstacles to practicing vulnerability.
For one-on-one or couples coaching, go to ZintSquad.com. Check out Aaron's book Numb to Known on Amazon.
Jenna and Aaron review the growth and change in 2022 and discuss the keys to moving into the new year that is sustainable. Rather than attempting to change the parts of ourselves we don't like, we can attempt to love ourselves in those areas and experience the change we wanted all along.
Check out Jenna's Habit Mastery Course coming up in January 2023! Sign up before registration closes.
Check out Aaron's book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn, on Amazon now!
Derek and Becky Johnson, pastors at Jesus Culture Sacramento, join us in this episode. They talk about Derek being a stay at home dad while Becky worked, what it was like when they began to work together (Becky as the Executive Pastor and Derek as the Worship Pastor), and then when Derek began to undo passivity in his life in a way that was disruptive to their normal but ultimately great for their marriage.
In this episode, Aaron shares a recent experience of some painful emotions piling up and that even though other people, like Jenna, were part of the triggers, none of them were to blame. Furthermore, the fact that Aaron had some irrational beliefs were no reason to shut down what he was feeling. Some key points from this processing were:
- We can be in pain and no one is to blame
- Your emotions don't have to be rational to be valid. They just need to be felt
- The best way to address painful emotions is to process them with others
Lastly, Aaron & Jenna discuss the upcoming Christmas holiday and how to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to be full of intentionality when you are with family, having more downtime and just outside of your normal routine. Get the free Holiday Habits Webinar by clicking HERE or go to ZintSquad.com.
Jenna's next Habit Lab Mastery Course is starting the week of January 10th, 2023. This is a 3 month course in which you will learn the science and art of creating lasting change through habits. Click HERE to get more information or apply.
Check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known on Amazon.
Our new friends, Jeff & Betsy Kalte, join us to talk about how each of them being in their second marriage required new learning not just of this other person, but of themselves. Betsy vulnerably shares about learning to lean into trusting the safety and consistency of Jeff after believing on a deep level that marrying your best friend was just not possible. Jeff talks about growing into a new, matured version of himself in the last years of his marriage before his wife died.
Check out Aaron's new book, Numb to Known, available on Amazon now!
In this episode we share about the tough financial year we've had. Within that time we felt stress, fear, disappointment, new hope, excitement, new passions and a deeper connection than ever before. We share what it was like to be on the receiving end of generosity and the complicated feelings that arise as the result.
Warning: this episode is more sexually explicit than our average episodes.
We are joined by Caitlin and Cole Zick, our friends and the directors of Moral Revolution. They share their 16 year sex story that in reality even predates them meeting. With not only medical conditions that kept sex from being enjoyable for Caitlin, she also had experienced years of sexual trauma as a teenager that made it's way into her relationship with Cole. They vulnerably share the difficulty in their sex life in the first 11 years of marriage and the incredible redemption that happened on the other side of medical help, as well as deep inner healing.
Our friends, Gabriel and Debbie Mayes of themayesteam, join us to talk about how they went from being pastors and living in a 5000 sq ft house, to living in a 250 sq ft converted school bus as a family of 6, after Gabriel had had an affair. The beauty of God's redemption is how this devastating event caused both Gabe and Debbie to pursue their own healing and find new life for themselves and eventually a brand new marriage that they never knew was possible, even and especially while living on the school bus.
In this episode, we talk about what we've learned from Internal Family Systems (a therapeutic modality created by Dr Richard Schwartz) and the value it's brought in allowing us to bring compassion and curiosity instead of contempt to the parts of us that have damaging or unhelpful behavior. If we can learn to do this for ourselves, we will actually have compassion and curiosity for our spouse instead of leaning towards contempt when we feel hurt by them.
In this short but sweet episode, Aaron & Jenna talk about the small moment between stimulus and response (as Steven Covey puts it) when you have the ability to choose. This comes into play especially when we feel defensive in conflict with our spouse. Between feeling defensive and our reaction to it, we have the ability to choose to listen without defending ourselves, regardless of what we feel. This takes time and practice but it essential to creating a marriage in which it is safe to share your heart.
In this episode we interview our friends Angelo & McKenzie who vulnerably share with us the roles they played in their marriage for a number of years in which Angelo was the victim and McKenzie was the Rescuer (synonymous in this episode with "hero"). They share how these roles created some sense of comfort and yet kept them both stuck, Angelo without learning how to be powerful and show up in strength and McKenzie without learning that she had any needs at all.
Though they are both still in the process of growing into the powerful people they were created to be (aren't we all), we get a glimpse into some practical ways to begin to walk out of this dynamic that many of us get stuck in (including Jenna and Aaron).
In this episode we talk about how our personality and culture have shaped our normals and how those normals feel like absolute truths. The problem with viewing our normals as absolute truths is that it's a recipe for judgment and disconnection. We take this time to confess our own normals and how we've had a tendency to see the other's actions as value statements.
We talk about how we've learned to navigate addressing those normals and the pain that tends to be behind it.
At the end of the episode, Jenna talks about her upcoming Habit Lab Mastery Course and Aaron talks about his upcoming book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.
We're back for Season 3! In this episode we talk about the small habits we've implemented to feed into our connection with each other. The smallness of our habits pushes directly against the natural all-or-nothing mentality that we've traditionally approached every area of our lives with.
If you are wanting to grow your connection with your spouse, start small. It can be as simple as 5 minutes of chatting, cuddling, kissing or whatever. So often it feels like unless we can have a 3 hour date night, we can't be connected. The more time together the better, but when we are waiting for the perfect time or the perfect amount of time, we are going to be living in more disconnection than connection. Start small and you will see the power and sustainability of consistency over big sweeping changes.
We end this season still in the woods on our anniversary backpacking trip. Aaron shares a story about how he realized he wanted Jenna to feel like a failure and why he didn't want that to change. The key to opening the door to healing for them was in each of their willingness to engage Kindness and Curiosity instead of contempt. Jenna shares how she was able to locate her triggers with eating and never being satisfied with her current experience. Her journey into contentment required the same Kindness and Curiosity and led to incredible breakthrough as she declared each day, "I am Enough, They are Enough, He is Enough and Now is Enough."
Thanks for joining us in this second season of Marriage Lab! DM us on Instagram at ZintMarriageLab or JennaZint if you are local to Redding and would like to join us on June 3, 2022 at our house for our season 2 finale party.
We're coming to you from up in the woods in this episode! We went backpacking for our anniversary and brought our podcasting equipment with us. It was worth the few extra pounds. We dive into our own journeys with engaging our inner scientist instead of the judge. The job of the judge is to pass judgment. You are either good or bad, right or wrong, guilty or not. The job of the scientist is to get curious, "Interesting, I wonder what's happening or what happened?" Real change cannot happen with shame and self-contempt (which comes from your inner judge). It is a short-lived motivator. Real change happens when we get curious about what led to a specific behavior or event. Why is this true? Because curiosity engages our brain in such a way that we are willing to see things we've never seen before. Judgment (shame and self-contempt) cannot accomplish this. Romans 2:4 says that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance, i.e. real and lasting change. If we are to be like him then we must engage ourselves with kindness as well. Curiosity invites kindness and vice versa. We want curiosity over contempt.
In this episode we talk with Dave and Jules Hill. They are the creators of HeartSmart (https://www.heartsmart.family/ and https://www.heartsmartv.com/browse) a curriculum for social and emotional learning used in over 500 schools around the world. We felt incredibly grateful for their vulnerability in sharing what Jules calls her unwinding that started about a decade ago. It was a painful season of her recognizing unprocessed pain and trauma and the ups and downs that go along with that. Dave shared how he was able to walk alongside Jules and discover how much growth was available for him in that season as well.
Michael and Lisa Kunz of KunzCoaching.com and TheDatingDiscovery.com join us this week. They talk about their marriage which is fairly young compared the 20+ year marriages they each had before their spouses died. They talk through their stories which had incredible parallels as they walked through grieving and trusting God after such a devastating experience. Their intentionality in pursuing an intimate connection with each other is inspiring and full of practical ideas on how to do it in our own lives. Their awkward sex story is more of an entirely awkward honeymoon where they both thought their previous 20 years of experience would translate easily into this new one. It was a beautiful look into the reality of learning a person more than "learning sex."
In this episode, Jenna shares how her own journey towards health has paralleled Aaron's journey out of porn addiction. She vulnerably shares how her relationship to sugar was more than just a "sweet tooth" but a solution to the real problems that started in adolescence and continued into adulthood. She speaks to using sugar as a tool for comfort, reward and boredom and the core emotions lie behind them. Together they speak to the incredible power of kindness in experiencing sustainable life-change and what real freedom looks like.
Our friends, Aaron and Casey Tesauro, share their journey in marriage of learning to be on the same team. For half of their marriage they would attack each other instead of the problem. Through counseling and a lot of intentional conversation they began to discover the pain behind problem and more specifically where that pain originated. They were both able to see the memories in each other's childhoods that contributed towards their marital dysfunction and they not only stoked compassion for each other but then learned to point their efforts at the issue and not each other.
They also share why bringing food into the bedroom may not be as sexy as intended.
We're excited to have Dr Glenn and Phyllis Hill back on the podcast to answer some of our burning questions around the connection codes protocols but also to discuss the idea of creating a sexual friendship with your spouse.
In this episode the Hills mention an exciting offer that is limited. Enter to win a free Connection Codes Foundation e-course by going to connectioncodes.co/marriagelab.
This is a very generous offer and we're so grateful they are offering this chance exclusively to our listeners.
Furthermore, Jenna and I have launched our website ZintSquad.com where you can schedule one-on-one coaching sessions with either Jenna, myself or a Couple's Coaching session with both of us. We love to help people get breakthrough in their lives and marriage and have been doing so informally for years. We're excited to make it official.
Our friends Shaun and Jessie Boyd share how these two very different people find connection and spot disconnection. They also share their practicing the Sabbath and the benefits of the rest it provides. We enjoyed our common bond of having lived with parents as a married couple and the various relational dynamics that can play out there.
Our Georgia friends, Matthew and Katie Hale, share about how very different they are and how that shows up in the way they either easily or difficultly share their needs and emotions with each other. They talk about the growth journey and realizations they've come to as they've walked this out together. We also get a glimpse into the kind of bridal shower gifts that Jenna gives and while the bride can love the hilarity, the groom, especially on the wedding night is not so happy. Poor Matthew.
We interview our friends and neighbors Peter and Clare Mattis in this episode. They share about how they navigated their budding relationship during and after Clare's mom tragically passed away from cancer. They also dive into what Trust looks like in their relationship in a segment we'll affectionately call "This is Clare thing." Clare talks about working through her trust issues that she is aware doesn't actually have anything to do with Peter whose actions have never warranted distrust. Peter shares how he stays tender and not defensive when this comes up.
Our friends Jason and Lauren Vallotton join us to talk about their unique journey in marriage. When they met, Jason was a divorced pastor with three kids. Lauren on the other hand was single and had only dated a few times in the previous 6 years. Their story of growing in relationship and then eventually marrying, her becoming and insta-mom to three kids is an incredible look into the difficulty that divorce brings but the redemption that God can bring out of it still.
Jenna and Aaron catch up on the last few months of chaos with a changing business, travel, creating and Airbnb and the ups and downs of managing their daughter's diabetes. They dive into what their connection has looked like as a result of all of this and how they are approaching this next season. The tears start to flow in this episode which was a unique and vulnerability-hangover inducing experience.
Our good friends Doug & Katrina Bryant join us to talk about issues in their marriage that they are in the very middle of. Meaning, they are actively working on themselves and their relationship and they don't know what it will look like when they get on the other side of it. However, they are pursuing connection in the midst of it and have hope they will continue to get better.
For this episode we flew across the country to interview our friends Dave and Katelyn Waite. We talk about the difference between complaining about your spouse and processing pain about your spouse.
Our good friends Pete and Esther Hsu join us to talk about how their sex life went from a place of pain to a place of real connection and intimacy.
Adam and Karissa King from Dear Young Married Couple join us to talk about their own journey into personal and relational health. Check out their podcast "Dear Young Married Couple" and their website dearyoungmarriedcouple.com.
My sister and brother in law, Emily & Sam Baker, join us to talk about a rough time in their marriage and how they came through it. We dive into the questions that we all have inside of us that we attempt to get answered by our spouses, but can only really be settled with God.
Jaclyn & Micheal Miller join us to talk about their journey that involves Mexican prison, a failed adoption and the joy to be found in it.
In our season finale, we get into a topic that we are extra passionate about: communication and conflict resolution. We talk about the necessity of understanding your own story in navigating conflict and how listening is not about simply shutting your mouth.
We've had an incredible few months interviewing so many amazing couples and mining the gold in their lives. Thanks for listening and make sure to subscribe so that you will be notified when we come back for season 2 in the fall!
In the meantime, follow us on Instagram @jennazint
We talked with Jordan and Elise Hawkins about the massive shift their marriage has made from discussing an annulment on their honeymoon to having hope in every conflict. They talk about their pasts triggering their present, hurting each other in the process and ultimately learning to connect with compassion in order to forgive. They walked through deep hurt and have come out on the other side with so much hope. They also share how a fear of sharks can make you last longer and how attempting to gain leverage can squish your spouse.
We talk with Ben and Brittney Serpell who do marriage and family coaching through Loving on Purpose ministries. Brittney also co-hosts the KYLO Show podcast with her dad, Danny Silk.
The Serpells tell us about working through Ben's passivity and Brittney's anger, all while remembering the goal of their marriage: a loving, intimate connection. We also get to hear about what we'll call Giggle Sex.
Follow them @brittneyserpell or go to thekyloshow.com
We got to talk with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill, the creators of the Connections Codes. Dr. Glen is a marriage and family therapist, clinical sexologist and the co-author of The Connection Codes, their new book out on amazon. Click here for their book. Find them on Instagram at @connectioncodes, @drglennhill & @echohillvetter. You can check out their website and sign up for webinars at connectioncodes.co.
We talked about the inception of Connection Codes, how it grew out of their own dysfunction and pain, how to use the tools to quickly and easily connect with your spouse and what it's like trying to run and hide half naked in an office building.
We talk with our friends Ben and Sheena about the simple adjustment in sharing and listening to emotion, how it changed their marriage in an instant and when gag reflexes make your honeymoon memorable. They share about the years they lived in Nicaragua running their ice cream business and what it was like during the revolution.
Be sure to follow them on Instagram @besameatx and if you're in Austin, TX get ready for some incredible ice cream!
We chat with Emily and Aaron Brown about sex in a camper with three kids and a giant dog, sex as a numbing agent, sex for 45 days straight, porn and its effect on your brain and sex life, and why it might be best to stop instead of finishing when you hear your mom approaching.
We talk with our friends Mollie & Peter Rodgers about the importance of addressing the pain propping up the conflict we're having, expressing our needs and why driving 10 more minutes to reach the hotel room might be a good idea.
We talk with Ben and Heather Armstrong about what leads to an affair, redemption and wholeness after and why the wedding night and antibiotics don’t mix.
Aaron and Jenna interview their friends Charity and Geo Osorio. They talk about the difficulties of a cross-cultural marriage, getting counseling like it's going out of style and why Jiu Jitsu doesn't work in the bedroom.
Aaron and Jenna interview Eric and Candace Johnson, the former pastors at Bethel Church for the last decade. They talk about understanding what they are feeling and sharing that honestly with each other, connecting in the midst of running a global church and why it's important to lock your bedroom door.
Aaron and Jenna interview the co-owners of Compass (Aaron's bosses), Eric and Sadie Hess. They talk about fighting in front of their kids, why getting away from their kids for their own connection is so vital and why sound proofing your room can save your kids from sleepless nights.
Aaron and Jenna answer the questions they'll be asking other couples. They talk about what it's like being married to someone totally different from you in personality and interests.
We interview our friends Jess & Andrew Liem. They talk about learning to ask each other questions rather than assuming they know what the other is thinking; how to communicate effectively and what it's like when you are newly married and have no idea what the missionary position is.