Revolutionise Your Love Life: Recent Episodes
Revolutionise Your Love Life
Revolutionise Your Love Life is a podcast is on creating healthy, loving relationships. From ending relationships that have run their course to finding new love and being the most fulfilled you can possiblly be.
Revolutionise Your Love Life is hosted by Heather Garbutt.
In this powerful episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by family lawyer Colette Bane to explore the important difference between controlling behaviour and “control freak” behaviour during separation and divorce. Together, they discuss how urgency, panic and fear can sometimes look like control, but may come from a very different place than coercive or narcissistic control. They also look at gaslighting, legal shielding, victim mindset, conscious uncoupling and how to stay anchored in dignity when a relationship has ended. This is a deeply practical and compassionate conversation for anyone navigating a difficult ex, a high-conflict separation or the emotional overwhelm of divorce.
Key Takeaways
- Control and control freak behaviour are not the same. Colette explains that true controlling behaviour is about power, dominance and compliance, while control freak behaviour often comes from panic, fear and a desperate need for things to move forward.
- Urgency can unintentionally escalate conflict. Chasing for immediate answers can make the other person feel cornered, leading to reactive emails, defensiveness and greater hostility. Sometimes the wisest thing is to slow down and allow space for a more considered response.
- Conscious uncoupling helps people return to intention. Heather shares how conscious uncoupling invites people to look at how their behaviour affects their ex, how their ex’s behaviour affects them, and how they can own their responses rather than react from pain.
- Gaslighting needs a strong protective filter. Colette describes how gaslighters may go on the charm offensive with lawyers, trying to discredit their ex and manipulate the process. A good support team can help clients see clearly and make decisions from their adult self.
- An act of golden repair can soften hostility. Small, fair and generous choices, whether practical, financial or emotional, can sometimes “pop the bubble” of antagonism and help both people move towards a calmer resolution.
About Colette Bane
Colette is a family lawyer who brings emotional intelligence, clear boundaries and strong advocacy to the divorce and separation process. She supports clients through complex family law situations, including high-conflict separations, gaslighting, controlling behaviour and difficult communication with ex-partners.
In this episode, Colette offers a grounded legal perspective on how to distinguish between anxiety-driven urgency and coercive control, and why clients need a support network that understands the emotional reality of separation as well as the legal process.
You can find Colette on Instagram at @Colette.familylawyer.
About Your Host
Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.
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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here: https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom: https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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In this sharp, funny and wonderfully honest episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by Lucy Cavendish, Calling in The One and Conscious Uncoupling coach, therapist, author, public speaker, commentator and award-winning podcaster. Together, they talk directly to men dating in later life about what women often experience before they even arrive on a date: the grooming, planning, safety considerations, emotional effort and self-presentation involved. Lucy offers frank, practical advice for men on appearance, hygiene, self-care, health, confidence and respect, while Heather brings the deeper relational lens: how a man’s care for himself often signals his capacity to care for another. This is a lively conversation about dating, but underneath the humour is a powerful invitation for men to value themselves enough to show up fully, thoughtfully and well.
Key Takeaways
Effort communicates respect. Women often put significant time, care and safety planning into dating. When men arrive without similar thought or preparation, it can feel dismissive, even when that is not their intention.
Self-care is not vanity. Lucy and Heather explore how basic grooming, clean teeth, cared-for hands, good posture and looking after one’s body are not superficial details. They can reflect self-respect, emotional health and readiness for relationship.
Presentation matters because it tells a story. How someone shows up on a date can communicate whether they have thought about the other person, the occasion and the possibility of connection.
You cannot outsource your self-worth to a future partner. Heather and Lucy discuss how lack of self-care may reveal deeper hurt, neglect or giving up on oneself. A loving relationship may encourage growth, but it is not someone else’s job to rescue or remake you.
Dating well means being willing to rise. The invitation for men is not perfection, preening or pretending. It is to care enough about themselves, and the women they hope to meet, to become more alive, healthy, thoughtful and attractive in the fullest sense.
About Lucy Cavendish
Lucy Cavendish is a coach, therapist, author, public speaker, commentator and award-winning podcaster. Her work explores love, relationships, selfhood, coercive control, modern dating and how people can create more extraordinary relationships with themselves and others. Lucy is especially interested in helping people understand what love really is, how childhood wounds shape attraction, and how to choose relationships from a place of self-awareness rather than old pain. She is the host of the podcast How to Have Extraordinary Relationships, and her previous podcast Later Dater won gold at the British Podcast Awards. Lucy also works with groups through programmes including Journey into the Self and work around coercive control.
About Your Host
Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.
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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here: https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom: https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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In this rich, honest and deeply human episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt speaks with coach, therapist, author, public speaker and award-winning podcaster Lucy Cavendish about love, modern dating and what it really means to choose differently. Together, they explore why so many people look for love in the wrong places, how childhood wounds can shape attraction, and why “chemistry” is not always a sign of healthy connection. Lucy brings warmth, humour and fierce clarity to the conversation, calling out the shame often created by phrases like “no one can love you unless you love yourself”, while also inviting listeners into a more grown-up, grounded understanding of love. This episode is for anyone dating later in life, recovering from old patterns, or wondering whether love can be calmer, kinder, more respectful and still full of passion.
Key Takeaways
- Love is not just a feeling, it is behaviour. Lucy and Heather explore the difference between saying “I love you” and acting in a loving way. Real love is shown through care, respect, consistency, generosity and emotional maturity.
- Shame does not help people find love. The idea that “no one can love you unless you love yourself” can leave single people feeling blamed and defective. A kinder approach is to understand self-love as attending to your own feelings, needs and desires.
- Chemistry can be familiar pain. The person who feels instantly compelling may be activating an old childhood wound rather than offering safe, healthy love. Attraction is powerful, but it needs discernment.
- Modern dating requires clear eyes. Lucy and Heather discuss the Burned Haystack Dating Method and how recognising patterns in profiles, texts and early behaviour can help women avoid wasting time on people who are not respectful, available or emotionally mature.
- Love later in life may look different. Instead of chaos, fireworks and old drama, mature love can be calmer, kinder, quieter and more nourishing. It can offer companionship, freedom, physical intimacy, respect and the beautiful feeling of having “your person”.
About Lucy Cavendish
Lucy Cavendish is a coach, therapist, author, public speaker, commentator and award-winning podcaster. Her work explores love, relationships, selfhood, coercive control, modern dating and how people can create more extraordinary relationships with themselves and others. Lucy is especially interested in helping people understand what love really is, how childhood wounds shape attraction, and how to choose relationships from a place of self-awareness rather than old pain.
She is the host of the podcast How to Have Extraordinary Relationships, and her previous podcast Later Dater won gold at the British Podcast Awards. Lucy also works with groups through programmes including Journey into the Self and work around coercive control.
About Your Host
Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.
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Each week I write about conscious love, the interior work and what calling in a real relationship actually takes.
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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here: https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom: https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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See all podcast episodes here: https://heathergarbutt.com/podcast/
In this powerful and practical episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt speaks with family lawyer Colete Bane about the important difference between controlling behaviour and “control freak” tendencies during separation and divorce. Together, they explore how anxiety, urgency and fear can sometimes look like control, but come from a very different place than coercive or narcissistic control.
They also discuss gaslighting, legal support, conscious uncoupling, safeguarding, and how to stay anchored in dignity, clarity and self-respect when navigating a painful relationship ending. This conversation offers reassurance, insight and grounded guidance for anyone dealing with a difficult ex, a high-conflict divorce, or the emotional overwhelm that can arise when love has run its course.
Key Takeaways
- Control and “control freak” behaviour are not the same. Colette explains that true controlling behaviour is about domination, compliance and power, while “control freak” behaviour often comes from panic, anxiety and a need for reassurance or forward movement.
- Urgency can damage communication during separation. Chasing for immediate responses can unintentionally escalate conflict. Sometimes giving the other person time to think, breathe and respond can lead to a more constructive outcome.
- Gaslighting requires a strong protective filter. When someone has been gaslit for years, they may still react from the old wound, even when they have evidence and support. A good lawyer, therapist or coach can help them see clearly again.
- Conscious uncoupling helps people act from intention rather than reaction. Heather shares how the process helps clients understand their behaviour, own their responses, clear the air where safe, and move towards a more dignified ending.
- Small acts of fairness can transform the emotional landscape. An “act of golden repair”, whether financial, practical or relational, can soften hostility and help both people move forward with more peace.
About Colette Bane
Colette is a family solicitor at Knights. She supports clients through divorce, financial arrangements, child arrangements and other family law matters with a combination of legal clarity, emotional intelligence and strategic care.
In this series, Colette brings her warmth, humour and professional wisdom to the question of how we can navigate divorce more consciously, intentionally and with as much dignity as possible.
You can find Colette on Instagram at @colette.familylaw
You can also find her on LinkedIn as Colette Bane, family solicitor at Knights.
About Your Host
Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.
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📩 JOIN THE NEWSLETTER
Each week I write about conscious love, the interior work and what calling in a real relationship actually takes.
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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here: https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom: https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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See all podcast episodes here: https://heathergarbutt.com/podcast/
In this second episode in our series on conscious intentional divorce, I’m joined again by the wonderful Colette Bane to explore the victim mindset and how it can emerge during divorce. We are very clear that this conversation is not about survivors of domestic abuse or coercive control. That is a different and very important subject. Here, we are looking at the emotional patterns that can arise when someone feels aggrieved, powerless, unappreciated or resistant to the end of a relationship. Colette and I talk about how victim mindset can delay and frustrate the divorce process, sometimes appearing like passive revenge, and why it is so important to work with a supportive team who can help you return to your adult self and make decisions from clarity rather than reactivity.
Key Takeaways
1. Not every emotional person is in victim mindset
Divorce is emotional by nature. Feeling grief, anger or fear does not mean you are in victim mindset. But when someone is in victim mindset, they are often highly emotional and may not be making decisions from their most mature, grounded self.
2. This is not about domestic abuse or coercive control
Colette and I make an important distinction: survivors of abuse or coercively controlling behaviour are not being discussed here. Those situations require a very different level of understanding, protection and support.
3. Victim mindset can prolong suffering
When someone feels aggrieved by the separation, they may unconsciously delay, obstruct or frustrate the process. This can create more pain and more problems than were necessary.
4. Communication is much more than words
Colette shares why video or in-person conversations can be so important. Tone, body language and emotional cues often reveal far more than written instructions ever could.
5. Support helps you return to your adult self
A lawyer can support the legal process, but emotional steadiness often requires a wider team: a coach, therapist, counsellor or trusted support network. The aim is to move from reactivity into centred, adult decision-making.
Reference Material Mentioned
Previous podcast episodes on domestic abuse, coercive control, power and control relationships:
Episodes around 60-66 - identifying power and control dynamics and protecting yourself in unsafe relationships.
About Colette Bane
Colette is a family solicitor at Knights. She supports clients through divorce, financial arrangements, child arrangements and other family law matters with a combination of legal clarity, emotional intelligence and strategic care.
In this series, Colette brings her warmth, humour and professional wisdom to the question of how we can navigate divorce more consciously, intentionally and with as much dignity as possible.
You can find Colette on Instagram at @colette.familylaw
You can also find her on LinkedIn as Colette Bain, family solicitor at Knights.
About Your Host
Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.
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Each week I write about conscious love, the interior work and what calling in a real relationship actually takes.
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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here: https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom: https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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See all podcast episodes here: https://heathergarbutt.com/podcast/
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, I’m joined by the wonderful Colette Bane, a family lawyer whose emotional intelligence, clarity and care make her such a valuable guide for people navigating divorce. Together we explore what it means to approach divorce consciously and intentionally, especially when powerful emotions begin to surface.
Divorce is not simply a legal process. It is an emotional, psychological and deeply human transition. There may be grief for the relationship, the future you thought you were building, the friendship you once had, or the family structure you hoped would last. There may also be anger, fear, confusion, loss of control, and old childhood dynamics that unexpectedly come to the fore.
Colette and I talk about the importance of setting clear intentions early in the process, so that you can return again and again to your wisest adult self. This does not mean denying the pain. It means having the right support around you so that you can make decisions from strength, maturity and clarity, rather than from fear, helplessness or reactivity.
We also touch on menopause, empty nest transitions, emotional overwhelm, learned helplessness and weaponised incompetence, and why finding your tribe is essential when you are moving through the end of a relationship.
This is the first in a short sequence of conversations with Colette, so do listen out for the next episodes too.
Key Takeaways From This Episode
1. Divorce is an emotional process as much as a legal one Even when there are practical arrangements to be made, divorce often brings up grief, fear, anger, loss and confusion. The legal process may be the structure, but the emotional process is what many people are truly living through.
2. Intention setting matters Conscious intentional divorce begins with deciding who you want to be in the process. Do you want to move through it with dignity, clarity and maturity? Do you want to protect your children from unnecessary conflict? Setting those intentions early can help you keep returning to your wisest self.
3. Your “wise adult self” may not always be the part of you that shows up Divorce can activate old patterns. Sibling rivalry, childlike helplessness, parental power dynamics and victim positions can all appear. When we recognise these patterns, we have a better chance of stepping back into our adult selves.
4. Support is essential Your lawyer can guide you legally, but you also need emotional support. A coach, therapist, counsellor or wise support network can help you process the feelings, regulate your nervous system and make clearer decisions.
5. Menopause and empty nest transitions can change everything For many women, menopause brings a shift in hormones, identity, priorities and tolerance. When children leave home, some women realise they have also been “parenting” their spouse and no longer want to continue in that role.
References
Episodes 88 and 89 - These explore menopause and its impact on women’s emotional lives, relationships, priorities and sense of self.
About Colette Bane
Colette is a partner in the family team at Knights. She is known for her discreet, premium service and strategic approach, advising clients on financial arrangements in divorce, particularly in high-net-worth cases. She also supports clients with child arrangements and wealth protection through pre- and post-nuptial agreements.
Colette has expertise in surrogacy and modern family formation. Her clients value her responsiveness, emotional intelligence and ability to navigate complex and high-stakes situations with both clarity and care.
Working nationally as part of Knights’ leading family law team, Colette delivers bespoke, results-focused advice tailored to each client’s unique needs.
Find Colette:
Instagram: @colette.familylawyer
About Your Host
Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.
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Each week I write about conscious love, the interior work and what calling in a real relationship actually takes. Join the community here:
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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here:
https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom:
https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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See all podcast episodes here:
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In this warm, candid and deeply human conversation for the Revolutionise Your Love Life podcast, I speak with couples therapists and relationship coaches Matt Albiges and Rebeca Pereira about what it really takes to create a lasting, loving romantic relationship. We explore their own love story, from meeting on an NLP training course and later “bumping into” one another on the London Underground, to the deeper inner work that helped them become not just partners in love, but partners in purpose.
What I found so moving about this conversation was their honesty. Matt and Rebeca speak with real tenderness about the places where they have had to grow: slowing down, speeding up, learning to feel safe, honouring protective parts, understanding masculine and feminine energies, and making time for play, humour, intimacy and presence. Their relationship is not presented as perfect. It is something alive, conscious, intentional and lovingly tended.
This episode is a beautiful reminder that love can become a place of healing, growth and joyful partnership when both people are willing to meet themselves, and each other, with courage, curiosity and care.
Key Takeaways
1. A good relationship is created, not simply found
Matt and Rebeca remind us that love does not flourish by accident. Like any meaningful area of life, relationship requires attention, learning, humility and practice. If we believe that the “right” relationship should always feel easy, we may miss the deeper invitation to grow.
2. Inner work changes the whole relationship dynamic
Rebeca speaks powerfully about learning to recognise her own trauma responses and protective parts, rather than acting from them unconsciously. Matt shares how he had learned to detach and “zone out” in a previous relationship, and how Rebeca helped him reclaim playfulness, confidence and emotional presence.
3. Curiosity is one of the great medicines of love
Rather than assuming they know what the other means, Matt and Rebeca ask questions. “Can you help me understand?” becomes a bridge. Curiosity softens defensiveness and helps partners come back into connection.
4. Humour can heal when there is enough safety
Their relationship is full of laughter, but Matt wisely offers a warning: humour only works when it comes from warmth and respect. In a painful or disconnected relationship, humour can easily become sarcasm, dismissal or mockery.
5. Intimacy needs both togetherness and space
One of the most striking parts of the conversation is their commitment to both closeness and individuality. They make time for dates, museums, long lunches and playful moments together, while also honouring separate bedrooms, solo interests, friendships and time apart. There is enough space for each person to breathe, and enough devotion to keep choosing one another.
Reference Material Mentioned
- Aligned With Love: Matt and Rebeca’s relationship coaching and couples therapy work can be found at alignedwithlove.net. Their work includes the Relationship Breakthrough Programme and resources for couples and individuals. (Buzzsprout)
- Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Matt Albiges: Matt’s book is listed on Amazon as Should I Stay or Should I Go?: From Relationship Clash to Clarity in 5 Simple Steps. (Amazon)
About Matt Albiges and Rebeca Pereira
Matt and Rebeca are couples therapists and relationship coaches based in London. Together, they help couples and individuals transform relationship difficulties into deeper connection, clarity, passion and love through their work at Aligned With Love. They are the hosts of The Relationship Breakthrough Show with Matt & Rebeca, and Matt is the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?: From Relationship Clash to Clarity in 5 Simple Steps. They have also been featured in broadcast and print media, including the BBC.
About Your Host
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unravelled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
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📩 JOIN THE NEWSLETTER
Each week I write about conscious love, the interior work and what calling in a real relationship actually takes. Join the community here:
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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here:
https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom:
https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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See all podcast episodes here:
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In this special episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is interviewed by Matt about a new paradigm in dating and relationships, and what it really takes to choose and create “the relationship of your life”. Heather shares her own turning point, from being a long-time psychotherapist who still found love elusive, to doing Calling in “The One” herself after a lonely Valentine’s Day in 2016.
Together, they explore why awareness alone is not enough, how core beliefs like “I am alone” quietly shape your choices, and why healing your inner “young self” stops you turning partners into parents. They also discuss Heather’s work in Conscious Uncoupling, and how to end relationships with dignity, stability and as much peace as possible, especially when children are involved. More support and resources can be found at Heathergarbutt.com.
Key takeaways
- Awareness isn’t transformation. Knowing your patterns helps, but change requires tools, practice and support so you can behave differently when you are triggered.
- Core beliefs drive your love life. Beliefs like “I am alone” can make you miss love, help and connection even when it is offered, and can keep you over-functioning in relationships.
- Chemistry can be a clue, not a sign. Intense attraction often pulls you towards what is familiar, including emotional unavailability and old heartbreak patterns.
- Heal the “young self” so you stop dating from childhood needs. When your inner child is driving, you can unconsciously try to make a partner into a parent, which damages intimacy and can tip into power and control dynamics.
- Conscious Uncoupling creates a calmer ending and a better future. The goal is to reduce competitiveness and blame, stabilise emotionally, clear the air where safe, and build workable agreements, especially for co-parenting.
Mentioned in the episode
- Calling in “The One” (Katherine Woodward Thomas)
- Conscious Uncoupling (Katherine Woodward Thomas)
- Eight Dates by John & Julie Gottman
- The Five Love Languages (love languages quiz)
About Matt:
Matt Albiges is a qualified therapist and relationship expert who uses techniques including coaching and NLP. He describes being motivated by “that moment” when a client commits to turning their relationship, and life, around. His work is shaped by his own journey through challenging relationships, followed by a deep dive into understanding what makes relationships work. He has also worked extensively in organisational change, and notes that many common challenges are mindset-based, which informs his relationship work.
About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
See all podcast episodes here.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt sits down with Marina Love, a solution-focused hypnotherapist who works with high-achieving, self-aware people who look “fine” on the outside but feel overwhelmed, stuck or emotionally drained on the inside. Together they explore why relationships can start to feel like hard work when your life is ticking along, and how chronic low-level stress quietly pushes the nervous system into survival mode. Marina explains how fight, flight and freeze show up in everyday relating, why the brain becomes hypervigilant and obsessive when it senses threat, and how small, practical steps can rewire the brain towards calm, connection and emotional presence. More resources and episodes are available at Heathergarbutt.com.
Key takeaways
- Coping isn’t the same as calm. Stress can build slowly as a “low hum” under life’s demands, leaving you surviving rather than thriving, even when everything looks OK on paper.
- Survival mode makes love feel threatening. When the nervous system is overloaded, the brain scans for danger, reads meaning into tiny cues, and can turn partners into “intimate enemies”.
- Fight, flight, freeze shows up in relationships. Arguments, withdrawal, people-pleasing, avoidance, overthinking and emotional distance often map directly to threat responses, not “personality flaws”.
- Your brain can’t tell imagination from reality. Under stress, the mind creates scenarios, then the body reacts as if they are true, fuelling adrenaline, cortisol, guilt and shame.
- Small actions change the chemistry. Practical, manageable steps build momentum and dopamine (reward and progress), reduce cortisol, and help the thinking brain come back online, improving communication and connection.
Mentioned in this episode
- Solution-focused hypnotherapy (future-focused, practical, nervous-system calming work)
- The role of dopamine (progress/reward) vs cortisol/adrenaline (stress response)
About Marina:
Marina Love is a solution-focused hypnotherapist supporting high-achieving, self-aware clients who feel capable externally but internally overwhelmed, stuck or emotionally depleted, often noticing the impact most strongly in relationships. Her work is grounded in neuroscience, nervous system regulation, and practical steps that help clients move out of survival mode into a calmer, more energised and emotionally present way of living, without needing to revisit the past.
About Heather:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
See all podcast episodes here.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by Catalina, a psychotherapist from Romania who supports survivors and thrivers of narcissistic abuse. Together they explore what it takes to rebuild trust after coercion and gaslighting, and how to date intentionally so you do not repeat old patterns. Heather shares the core principles of Calling in “The One” and Conscious Uncoupling, including why the first relationship to strengthen is the one you have with yourself, how to discern safely (especially online), and why going slowly is not caution, it is wisdom.
Find more support and resources at Heathergarbutt.com.
Key takeaways
- Go slowly and date from your adult self. After abuse, the nervous system can confuse intensity with connection. “Chemistry” can be the ignition of an old pattern, not a green flag.
- Discernment is a skill. Watch behaviour, not promises. Notice how someone treats service staff, how they speak about ex partners and family, and whether their values actually match yours.
- Know what you want, and how you want to feel. Focus on character and values (kindness, respect, trustworthiness, warmth), not surface traits.
- Beware love bombing. People who have been starved of safety and tenderness can be especially vulnerable to fast praise, fast intimacy, and big future talk.
- Do your emotional work first. Without healing, “gut instinct” can be pulled by familiarity rather than truth. The work is to become grounded, resourced, and sovereign.
About Catalina:
Catalina is a Romanian psychotherapist specialising in individual and group work, with a particular focus on helping women and men recover from narcissistic abuse. Her approach is deeply compassionate, practical, and rooted in restoring voice, safety, and self-trust so survivors can move from coping to thriving.
About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
See all podcast episodes here.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt speaks with Prem Glidden, coach and author of Opening to Possibility: Becoming Available to Love and Be Loved, about what it really means to become available for love. Together they explore how early-life messages like “I’m not lovable” can quietly shape adult dating and relationships, why “chemistry” can sometimes be a trauma signal rather than a soulmate sign, and how living from possibility changes what you allow, what you choose, and what you can receive. Prem also shares her own story, including meeting her beloved Bob and marrying at 67, as proof that it is never too late to create a relationship that feels safe, real, and deeply nourishing. (More resources and support can be found at Heathergarbutt.com.)
Key takeaways
- Availability starts with you. If you want love that is steady and secure, the first relationship to strengthen is the one you have with yourself.
- Treat your inner parts gently. Trauma responses are protective. When you meet them with compassion (not force), you stop being run by old patterns.
- Do not outsource worthiness. Looking to a partner to prove your value turns dating into quicksand. Self-trust is what creates solid ground.
- Let truth lead, not the “high”. That rush of intensity can be familiar dysfunction. Slow down, discern, and choose from your wisest adult self.
- Love is co-created. Healthy relationships are built through communication, repair, respect, and shared responsibility, not perfection.
About Prem:
Prem Glidden is a Calling in The One coach and one of the first certified True You coaches trained by Catherine Woodward Thomas. She helps people graduate from old stories that keep love at a distance and step into a life led by aliveness, agency, and self-trust. Prem is the author of Opening to Possibility: Becoming Available to Love and Be Loved and shares her work at premglidden.com.
About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
See all podcast episodes here.
In this heartfelt episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by Cătălina Popoveniuc, a Romanian psychotherapist with 23 years of experience supporting survivors and thrivers of narcissistic abuse. Catalina shares her own lived journey from surviving a narcissistic family system and multiple narcissistic relationships to reclaiming her voice and building a life that feels bright, free, and fully hers. Together, they talk candidly about the realities of gaslighting, cultural stigma, and the practical steps that help someone move from confusion and fear into safety, clarity, and self-trust, so thriving becomes possible.
Key takeaways
- Gaslighting is designed to fracture reality. Catalina shares how prolonged gaslighting can leave someone doubting their perception and sanity, even years later, and why naming it matters.
- Empathy without boundaries can be exploited. Both Heather and Catalina discuss how caring, empathic people are often targeted, and why early boundary-setting is not harsh, it is self-respect.
- Safety first, then strategy. Catalina emphasises planning: legal advice, therapeutic support, and a trusted network before leaving, especially when the risk of escalation is real.
- Post-separation abuse is a real risk. Leaving is not always the end of the manipulation, which is why specialised support and informed legal guidance are essential.
- Thriving means rebuilding identity. After abuse, many people do not know what they like, need, or want. Healing includes rediscovering preferences, strengths, work options, and a future that feels life-giving.
About Cătălina:
Cătălina Popoveniuc, a psychotherapist specialising in individual and group therapy, with a particular focus on supporting survivors of narcissistic abuse - both women and men.
With 23 years of experience working with people, she has developed a deeply human,
compassionate, and supportive approach, grounded in empathy and genuine respect for each person’s path.
For Cătălina, it’s essential that every client feels heard, seen, and understood.
About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
A hundred episodes in, and their hearts are full. To celebrate this milestone Heather is joined by her dear friend Monica, who turns the tables and is host for the 100th episode of Revolutionside Your Love Life. They look back at the most transformative themes, the letters you have sent, and the shifts that happen when we treat ourselves with care and choose love from our adult self. They talk about power and control dynamics, why chemistry alone can mislead us, and how visioning and conscious uncoupling open space for healthy partnership. Heather shares what this work has changed in her, the mission that keeps the fire hose of purpose flowing, and a simple message for anyone who feels hopeless about love. It is never too late, and you are enough.
Key takeaways
- The relationship with yourself is the foundation. How you speak to yourself, tend to younger parts, and set boundaries shapes every choice you make in love.
- Discernment over chemistry. A lightning bolt can be an old pattern re-igniting. Ask, do I feel safe, seen and at home. Watch whether words and actions match.
- Name your vision and let it guide you. Get clear on values, lifestyle, and how you want to feel five years in. Choose slowly with support from trusted friends or a coach.
- When it is not working, end well. Conscious uncoupling protects children, communities and your future heart. Favour resolution, clear boundaries and adult-to-adult dialogue.
- Hold a bigger mission for love. Visibility takes courage, but sharing real tools and stories helps more people find warm, mutual and lasting relationships.
About Heather:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
About Monica
Monica Douglas is a spirit-led relationship coach, interfaith minister, and founder of the Wild Wisdom of Relationships framework. With over 25 years of experience, she supports heart-led individuals to heal from heartbreak, reset their relationships, and thrive in love. Her work integrates ritual, coaching, spiritual practice, and tools like her Wild Wisdom Oracle cards and relationship cycle quiz.
In this heartfelt conversation, host Heather Garbutt welcomes coach Jessica Yip, a Calling in The One and True You Coach who helps high-achieving people trade old stories for living, breathing love. Jessica shares the belief that shaped her early life, 'I am alone', and how integrity, self-responsibility and learning to receive transformed her dating and her partnership with Trevor. Together they explore slow, conscious dating, repairing family bonds, practical communication, and the everyday negotiations that make real love feel safe and alive.
Key Takeaways
- Integrity as wholeness: Alignment between values and behaviour creates the conditions for healthy love. Walk your talk in every relationship, including family.
- From chemistry to choice: Notice overgiving, rescuing and low standards. Believe people when they say they are not available. Date slowly and test for consistency.
- Heal the root to change the fruit: Naming early beliefs like I am alone and speaking honestly with family can release lifelong patterns and expand capacity for intimacy.
- Live your life fully: Claim the place, creativity and community that are true for you. Alignment magnetises compatible partners.
- Relationship is a practice: Agree workable systems for contact, chores and sleep. Ask for help, receive it, and communicate preferences without blame.
About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.
I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.
As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.
Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.
About Jessica:
Jessica Yip is the coach for hardworking people who feel like they’ve ticked all the success boxes in life but are aching for more love and joy.
As a leading Calling in “The One” Coach, and now as one of the first certified True You Coaches personally trained by Katherine Woodward Thomas, Jessica helps clients graduate from old stories and painful patterns that keep love at a distance. She brings over a decade of experience blending transformative coaching, somatic attunement and relational skill-building to help you reconnect with your aliveness, agency and power to create healthy relationships, meaningful experiences, and the delicious life and love you’ve always longed for.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt welcomes relationship and self-awareness coach Lisa Hawkins to explore the idea of the “picker” - the often unconscious part that chooses romantic partners.
Through candid life stories, Lisa illustrates how chemistry can be a signal of familiarity rather than health, how covert and overt abuse can masquerade as niceness, and why building a steadier inner compass matters. Together they offer practical ways to tune into intuition, track red flags, and let the adult self lead so love becomes honest, respectful and safe.
Key takeaways
- Chemistry is not always compatibility. Heightened euphoria often reflects familiar dysfunction rather than true fit. Calm evaluation over time gives clearer answers.
- Match words with actions. A healthy picker notices when promises and behaviour diverge, and treats repeated mismatches as red flags.
- Journal to trust your intuition. Writing down early signals and reviewing them later helps reveal patterns that the heart may prefer to overlook.
- Do not carry the whole relationship. If one partner holds all the emotional labour, accountability and repair, the bond will tilt toward resentment and harm.
- Let the adult self choose. Practices such as brief meditation on “What do I feel, what do I need?” and parts awareness help ensure younger survival strategies are not driving the car.
About Your Host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Lisa
Lisa Hawkins is a relationship and self-awareness coach, and the founder of Consciously Awake Counseling. For over 26 years, she’s been passionate about the human experience – why we love, how we connect, and what gets in the way. She works with both men and women to awaken the part of themselves that already knows how to love deeply, freely, and consciously.
Through spiritual inquiry, emotional accountability, and her signature Pause Method, Lisa helps people question old beliefs, shift their patterns, and create authentic relationships – starting with the one they have with themselves. Her work is about truth, healing, and connection at a higher level.Whether you’re navigating love, healing from heartbreak, or learning to trust yourself again, Lisa brings wisdom, presence, and a deep respect for the human experience.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather speaks with therapist Lou Lachman about how early attachment experiences shape adult relationships and self-connection. Lou shares their history of rotating caregivers within a cult, how that fracture in attachment led to people-pleasing and self-erasure in love, and the practices that now support authentic relating. They discuss the fawn response, learning to speak needs without fear, parts work, and becoming your own “marriage arranger” so choices come from an adult, regulated place rather than from younger parts.
Key takeaways:
- Early attachment informs both how we connect to others and how we connect to ourselves. Repairing self-attachment requires time, practice, and compassionate awareness.
- The fawn response looks like saying whatever keeps the peace. It prevents truth, blocks differentiation, and slowly erodes intimacy.
- Parts work helps identify the age and need behind a reaction. Lou’s Heart Holding practice meets that part with reassurance, which creates space for adult choice.
- Be your own marriage arranger. Choose partners who align with your values, help you feel larger and steadier, and can tolerate ordinary conflict.
- Healing is amplified in community. Small, facilitated circles provide co-regulation, shared courage, and faster integration.
About Your Host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Lou Lachman
Lou is accredited by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and accredited by the EFT and Matrix Re-imprinting Academy. She first trained in Core Process Psychotherapy, a Buddhist Psychology based training. She has over 30 years of experience in counselling and psychotherapy, having worked with people in hospitals, doctor’s surgeries, agencies, prisons and private practice. She has also trained and practised as an addiction counsellor.
They value their personal recovery from attachment trauma as a core credential alongside formal training. Lou calls their approach Embody Freedom, blending parts-informed practice with body-based healing. They facilitate intimate healing circles and one-to-one work.
Lou has this great ebook resource for you here: https://energycounselling.co.uk/heart-holding-reassurance/
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
Welcome to this festive episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life. Christmas can stir up pressure to couple up, say yes to the wrong person, and slip back into old family roles. In this solo, Heather shares a grounded guide to intentional dating through the holidays, how to spot values you can build a relationship on, and how to stay in your calm, capable adult self at family gatherings. She closes with a simple “family meeting” ritual so the season feels considered, kind, and genuinely joyful.
Key Takeaways* Do not date to soothe seasonal pressure. Date with the same standards you want to live with in January. * Choose calm over chaos. Reliable warmth beats intoxicating drama. * Scan for values: trust, respect, follow-through, kindness to staff and family, clean history with exes, aligned life plans. * Stay in your adult self around relatives. Do not engage the old child roles. * Run a short family meeting so everyone feels seen and Christmas feels intentional.
If you are ready to start dating with intention, get your hands on my Delicious Dating Guides and kiss the single life goodbye:
https://heathergarbutt.com/kiss-the-single-life-goodbye/
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this rich and practical conversation, success and money blocks coach Shilleen Wilson explores how our subconscious worthiness set point quietly dictates what we allow in love and money. Heather and Shilleen look at why we repeat patterns, how tests show up just before a breakthrough, and the powerful link between safety, savings and secure attachment. You will learn how to set a clear intention, listen to your body, and choose relationships and money goals that honour your values. Expect grounded tools, compassion for where you came from, and permission to be whole and complete as you call in love and prosperity.
Key Takeaways
- You have a subconscious worthiness set point that caps what you allow in relationships and income.
- Tests often appear just before a breakthrough. Hold your standard and say no to what does not align.
- Savings map to safety. Build inner safety and you raise your capacity to hold love and money.
- Think of your emotions as a bank account. Choose partners who deposit, not drain.
- You are already whole and complete. Start generating the feelings you seek now.
- Many blocks are inherited. Compassion for yourself and your parents helps to release them.
- Do the inner work to receive more. Awareness raises your set point.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Shilleen
An expert in her field and a multi business owner, Shilleen Wilson is an award-
winning Success & Money Blocks coach.
Shilleen’s mission is to emotionally and financially empower women, guiding you to
rid yourself of your invisible money and success blocks, tap into your empowerment
energy flow so that you can live a life of comfort and freedom and inspire the
generations that follow
She guides you to make more money in alignment with how you are made.
She addresses procrastination, overwhelm, exhaustion and stagnant income, gets to
the root of your hidden blocks and moves you from a place of stuckness to rich
empowerment.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this third conversation with Daniel Ryan (“That Family Law Guy”) on Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather speaks to Daniel on how UK family court proceedings affect children during divorce and separation. Daniel describes two common harms: children either knowing far too much about parental conflict or being kept entirely in the dark for months or years. Together they discuss the absence of emotional considerations in legal processes, the limits of current social work input, and orders that unintentionally make children “live out of a suitcase.” They consider better approaches such as collaborative, multi-disciplinary models that put children’s needs first and keep them appropriately informed. Practical guidance is offered for parents on protecting children’s sense of home, continuity, and belonging throughout proceedings.
Key Takeaways:
Children need continuity and a sense of home. Frequent moves and split days satisfy adults but erode a child’s stability.
Appropriate inclusion beats secrecy. Keeping children completely uninformed breeds anxiety and confusion; share age-appropriate updates.
Court is one-dimensional. It applies law, not emotion; outcomes often neglect the lived experience of children.
Design schedules around the child’s week. Prioritise school routines, rest, friendships, and unhurried time with each parent.
Aim for collaborative solutions. Multi-disciplinary, therapeutic approaches can protect children better than adversarial processes.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Daniel:
Dan is ‘That Family Law Guy’. He has worked extensively in both the Family Court and the Civil Court, and has received several awards recognising his work.
Dan is a Professional McKenzie Friend and his approach is empathetic and sensitive and his view is that our clients do not come to us in order to leave without tangible change.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, I am joined again by Daniel Ryan where we explore how many fathers are sidelined in UK family courts. Daniel shares how set up and procedure can disadvantage dads, the rise of parental alienation and lawfare, and why children need time rich relationships with both parents. We compare burdens of proof, discuss legal aid disparities, the misuse of police processes, and practical steps fathers can take to protect their relationship with their children.
Key Takeaways:
Parental alienation is recognised as abuse. It weaponises children and can sever a child’s bond with a good father.
Process can become punishment. Allegations that lead to arrest and bail can exclude dads from home, work and children, even when there is no further action.
Preparation is power. Detailed timelines, evidence, and a supportive tribe give fathers the best chance to protect meaningful, time rich relationships with their children.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Daniel:
Dan is ‘That Family Law Guy’. He has worked extensively in both the Family Court and the Civil Court, and has received several awards recognising his work.
Dan is a Professional McKenzie Friend and his approach is empathetic and sensitive and his view is that our clients do not come to us in order to leave without tangible change.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of Revolutionise your podcast, Heather talks to Daniel Ryan to explore how vulnerable mums are treated in family court, what the court recognises as domestic abuse, and the stark difference between criminal court and family court. Daniel explains coercive and controlling behaviour under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, the burden of proof on the balance of probabilities, and why hearings can feel like a second ordeal. We discuss safeguarding children, emotional preparation, and how to build practical and therapeutic support through the process.
Key Takeaways:
Domestic abuse in law, courts recognise physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial abuse, with coercive and controlling behaviour now widely acknowledged.
Burden of proof, criminal court needs beyond reasonable doubt, family court decides on the balance of probability, one judge, no jury, which makes proving allegations complex for traumatised mums.
Surviving the process, hearings can retraumatise, plan support early, gather your tribe, protect your children with clear, age appropriate communication, and build steadiness between hearings.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Daniel:
Dan is 'That Family Law Guy'. He has worked extensively in both the Family Court and the Civil Court, and has received several awards recognising his work.
Dan is a Professional McKenzie Friend and his approach is empathetic and sensitive and his view is that our clients do not come to us in order to leave without tangible change.
In this nourishing episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather speaks with deep mind transformation expert Cathy Hargreaves about what self love really is, how to recognise it, and how to grow it in everyday life. Cathy shares how early messages shape our self worth, why kindness outperforms criticism, and how the smallest acts of care create powerful positive feedback loops. Together they offer simple practices for busy women and men, ways to honour needs without guilt, and a fresh look at boundaries, rest, and celebration. Expect warmth, practicality, and a gentle invitation to treat yourself as someone you love.
Key Takeaways:
Self love shows in your tone to yourself. Swap harshness for steady kindness and watch confidence grow.
The smallest acts count. One glass of water, one early night, one song in traffic, and your nervous system settles.
You were born worthy. Unlearn what says otherwise and your gifts flow more freely into work, family and love.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Cathy:
Deep Mind Transformation | Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT) | Advanced
Conversational Hypnosis | Energy Practitioner (QRIT)
Cathy helps women unlock their inner confidence by clearing old patterns, reconnecting
with their truth, and creating a life that feels light, joyful, and deeply fulfilling. She believes
healing doesn’t have to be heavy or overwhelming - it can be gentle, uplifting, and still
powerfully transformative.
As a trauma-informed intuitive healer, rapid transformational therapist, and energy
practitioner, Cathy blends powerful mind work with intuitive guidance to help her clients
feel calmer, clearer, and more themselves.
In this heartening episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather welcomes relationship and self awareness coach Lisa Hawkins to explore how our bodies guide us in dating. Lisa shares how a calm surface can hide clenched fists and jaw, why the nervous system is drawn to what is familiar, and how to retrain it towards healthy connection. Together they offer gentle, practical steps to build conscious awareness, use journalling and Lisa’s Pause Method, and give yourself space before saying yes to more. They also speak about releasing long held emotion from the body and choosing curiosity over criticism. This is a kind conversation for anyone who wants to date with self respect, steadiness and joy.
Key Takeaways1. Your body tells the truth kindly. Clenched hands and tight jaw can speak louder than a smooth surface calm. 2. Do not book the second date on the first. Give your brain and body time to settle so choice can be clear. 3. Curiosity heals. Journalling, pausing and gentle questions move you from old patterns to healthy partnership.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Laura:
Lisa Hawkins is a relationship and self-awareness coach, and the founder of Consciously Awake Counseling. For over 26 years, she’s been passionate about the human experience - why we love, how we connect, and what gets in the way. She works with both men and women to awaken the part of themselves that already knows how to love deeply, freely, and consciously.
Through spiritual inquiry, emotional accountability, and her signature Pause Method, Lisa helps people question old beliefs, shift their patterns, and create authentic relationships - starting with the one they have with themselves. Her work is about truth, healing, and connection at a higher level.Whether you're navigating love, healing from heartbreak, or learning to trust yourself again, Lisa brings wisdom, presence, and a deep respect for the human experience.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this soulful and enlightening conversation, Heather is joined by nutritional therapist and well-being expert Laura de la Harpe. We dive into the deep waters of midlife transition - exploring the powerful emotional and physiological changes that unfold during menopause and andropause. Together, we uncover why so many relationships falter during these years and how understanding, support, and awareness can turn disruption into growth. Whether you're navigating your own journey or witnessing your partner's, this episode offers real insight, compassion, and practical wisdom.
Key Takeaways: 60% of divorces happen during perimenopause – not because love disappears, but because long-held truths surface once hormonal cushioning drops. * Men and women both go through hormonal transitions that impact mood, libido, energy, and communication – it’s not just “a women’s issue.” * The importance of communication* – understanding each other’s experiences can restore intimacy and avoid blame or shame during this life stage.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Laura:
Laura de la Harpe is a Nutritional Therapist with nearly two decades of clinical experience, bringing a clear, compassionate and evidence-based approach to health and wellbeing. After 15 years in corporate IT, she retrained in 2006 and has since become a trusted voice in the media, appearing as a nutrition and wellness expert on BBC Radio, Sky News, BBC News, ITV News and The Victoria Derbyshire Show. She has also featured as Radio 5 Live’s Midnight Expert and presents on Kennet Radio.
Laura delivers engaging health and wellbeing seminars and webinars, and is a member of the Institute for Functional Medicine since 2015. Her specialist training includes DNA Life practitioner certification, Metabolic Balance Practitioner and weight loss coaching since 2011. She supports clients with hormonal health, energy, weight management and longevity, pairing practical nutrition with kind, steady coaching.
Life has given Laura deep empathy for the midlife journey. She is a mum of three adult children, navigated thyroid cancer in the midst of menopause, separated in 2017, and remarried in 2025. She works online and in person, meeting people where they are and helping them feel better, think clearly and thrive.
In this nourishing episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather sits with Nutritional Therapist Laura de la Harpe to make sense of menopause and perimenopause in everyday terms. They explore common symptoms, why they happen, and the simple, kind choices that help you feel more like yourself. Expect practical food ideas, stress soothing, sleep wisdom and thoughtful guidance on tests, HRT options and relationship tenderness.
Key Takeaways:* Small daily choices make a big difference. Calmer plates, earlier suppers and a slower start often mean fewer flushes and clearer heads. * Gut first. Regular, comfortable bowels support hormones, mood and sleep. Probiotics and fibre rich foods really help. * Tender communication keeps couples close. Naming what is happening to your body turns pressure into partnership.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art
About Laura:
Laura de la Harpe is a Nutritional Therapist with nearly two decades of clinical experience, bringing a clear, compassionate and evidence-based approach to health and wellbeing. After 15 years in corporate IT, she retrained in 2006 and has since become a trusted voice in the media, appearing as a nutrition and wellness expert on BBC Radio, Sky News, BBC News, ITV News and The Victoria Derbyshire Show. She has also featured as Radio 5 Live’s Midnight Expert and presents on Kennet Radio.
Laura delivers engaging health and wellbeing seminars and webinars, and is a member of the Institute for Functional Medicine since 2015. Her specialist training includes DNA Life practitioner certification, Metabolic Balance Practitioner and weight loss coaching since 2011. She supports clients with hormonal health, energy, weight management and longevity, pairing practical nutrition with kind, steady coaching.
Life has given Laura deep empathy for the midlife journey. She is a mum of three adult children, navigated thyroid cancer in the midst of menopause, separated in 2017, and remarried in 2025. She works online and in person, meeting people where they are and helping them feel better, think clearly and thrive.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
See all podcast episodes here.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather is joined by webinar expert Paul Jordan to demystify the world of online webinars for coaches, therapists and heart-centred entrepreneurs. With warmth and clarity, Paul shares how webinars can offer a powerful way to build connection, establish trust and gently guide potential clients toward meaningful work. They explore the fears that so many practitioners face – especially around visibility, sales, and tech – and how Paul’s supportive, step-by-step approach helps to turn overwhelm into calm, confident delivery. If you're someone who wants to reach more people without compromising your values, this conversation offers practical insight and deep encouragement.
Key Takeaways:
Webinars as Connection Tools
Paul shares why webinars are especially suited to coaches, therapists and service-based professionals, allowing clients to get a real sense of who you are before ever booking a call.
From Overwhelm to Action
Many entrepreneurs freeze at the thought of tech and sales. Paul breaks down his practical system for moving through that freeze into structured, supportive action.
Selling with Integrity
Heather and Paul discuss the mindset shift from “I shouldn’t have to sell” to “I deserve to be paid for the value I offer,” reframing sales as an act of service.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Paul:
Paul Jordan brings over 20 years of expertise in digital marketing and information technology, having worked across diverse sectors including pharmaceuticals, real estate, national security and transport. Alongside this, he’s no stranger to the realities of running a small business himself – which gives him a deep understanding of the challenges that entrepreneurs face when starting from scratch.
Paul has a particular passion for helping heart-led professionals who are brilliant at what they do but struggle with marketing. Through his signature online course, one-to-one support and done-for-you services, he guides motivated individuals to market their businesses with confidence, clarity and ease.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this deeply personal and illuminating episode, Heather Garbutt welcomes Melinda Jacobs - a clinical hypnotherapist, trauma-informed coach and spiritual teacher - for an exploration of love, identity, and neurodiversity. Melinda shares her late-in-life autism diagnosis and how years of masking shaped her sense of self, relationships, and nervous system.
Together, they delve into the experience of navigating love while neurodivergent, the trauma of not being seen, and the power of attuned partnership. With warmth and insight, they challenge the cultural belief that independence means isolation, and invite listeners to embrace interdependence, self-awareness, and the kind of love that begins with curiosity and compassion.
Melinda also shares the therapeutic methods that have supported her healing, especially cellular release therapy, and the importance of shifting inner narratives that echo shame. The episode is a profound invitation to meet ourselves - and each other - with patience, presence, and care.
Key Takeaways: From Masking to Meaning: Melinda’s emotional story of discovering her autism diagnosis shines a light on how masking and people-pleasing can fragment identity and disconnect us from our needs. * The Power of Presence in Partnership: A single moment of attunement—three gentle options offered by her partner—transformed a near shutdown into a moment of reconnection. * Healing the Nervous System*: Heather and Melinda explore the physical impact of unprocessed trauma, micro-stress, and how somatic techniques like rocking and breath can restore regulation and calm.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Melinda
Melinda Jacobs is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Trauma-Informed Health/Life Coach, Spiritual Leader, and Author with over 30 years of experience guiding individuals through life’s challenges—including emotional pain, uncertainty, and inner struggle—into clarity, healing, and meaningful inspiration. Her trauma-informed, spiritually grounded work helps people move beyond subconscious blocks and repeating patterns to reclaim their wholeness and live with purpose.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heart-opening conversation, Heather Garbutt speaks with Lisa Hawkins, relationship and self-awareness coach and founder of Consciously Awake Counselling. Together, they unpack the misconceptions surrounding self-love and explore what it truly means to honour all parts of ourselves—even the ones we’d rather avoid. Lisa shares her personal and professional wisdom on how self-abandonment, often disguised as duty or selflessness, keeps us from authentic connection. She introduces her powerful “pause method,” the importance of having a safe witness to mirror compassion, and the ongoing, evolving nature of loving oneself. The episode is a tender invitation to presence, self-trust, and radical inner care.
Key Takeaways* Lisa redefines self-love not as indulgence, but as being fully present with every emotion—including anger, fear and shame. * They explore how conditioning, especially for women, creates guilt around prioritising the self. * Heather and Lisa emphasise the need for modelling and therapeutic support to build lasting self-compassion and clarity
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Lisa
Lisa Hawkins is a relationship and self-awareness coach, and the founder of Consciously Awake Counseling. For over 26 years, she’s been passionate about the human experience—why we love, how we connect, and what gets in the way. She works with both men and women to awaken the part of themselves that already knows how to love deeply, freely, and consciously.
Through spiritual inquiry, emotional accountability, and her signature Pause Method, Lisa helps people question old beliefs, shift their patterns, and create authentic relationships—starting with the one they have with themselves. Her work is about truth, healing, and connection at a higher level.Whether you're navigating love, healing from heartbreak, or learning to trust yourself again, Lisa brings wisdom, presence, and a deep respect for the human experience.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this deeply soulful episode, Heather Garbutt is joined by Monica Douglas—spirit-led relationship coach, interfaith minister, and creator of the Wild Wisdom of Relationships framework. Monica shares her transformational journey through conscious uncoupling after a 27-year marriage and the emergence of new love rooted in presence, ritual, and authentic connection. Together, they explore the sacred power of everyday rituals, seasonal cycles in relationships, and the importance of being in alignment with one’s values, intuition, and spirit. The conversation is rich with imagery, grace, and grounded practices—offering listeners insight and inspiration to lovingly navigate endings, beginnings, and everything in between.
Key Takeaways:* Monica describes how daily rituals supported her through heartbreak and led her to a flourishing new relationship. * The concept of seasonal relationship cycles is introduced as a healing and empowering model. * Heather and Monica explore the role of sacred rituals in reawakening presence, peace, and purpose.
About your host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Monica
Monica Douglas is a spirit-led relationship coach, interfaith minister, and founder of the Wild Wisdom of Relationships framework. With over 25 years of experience, she supports heart-led individuals to heal from heartbreak, reset their relationships, and thrive in love. Her work integrates ritual, coaching, spiritual practice, and tools like her Wild Wisdom Oracle cards and relationship cycle quiz.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by coach, speaker and midlife mentor Ali Miles-Jenkins to explore the experience of women in their 60s and beyond. Together, they reflect on the outdated cultural narratives that often leave older women feeling invisible or irrelevant—and how to reclaim power, vitality, and purpose at this stage of life. Ali shares her journey of challenging societal expectations and supporting women to reconnect with their self-worth, confidence and joy. From dancing in nightclubs to mentoring clients through transformation, her message is clear: now is the time to thrive. With heart, humour and honesty, this conversation invites women to redefine what it means to age—on their own terms. Whether you’re navigating a new chapter, reconnecting with your identity, or rediscovering your spark, this episode is a celebration of possibility at every age.
About Your Host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Ali:
Ali is an award-winning management consultant, coach, trainer and business owner for 34 years.
Since 2017 Ali has been championing the age agenda for women and built a community of over 6,000 wonderful women, also delivering a TEDX talk: ‘The Surprising Truth About Women over 50’. She's on a mission to enable women over 60 to be sassy, s*xy and successful, living the amazing lives they so deserve!
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt and deeply practical episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by senior family solicitor Colette Bain. With warmth, wisdom, and sensitivity, Colette shares her invaluable insight into navigating separation and divorce with dignity, clarity, and compassion.
Far from the combative courtroom narratives we often hear, this episode focuses on conscious uncoupling—an approach to separation that honours emotional wellbeing, mutual respect, and long-term peace. Colette offers expert guidance on how to build a supportive network ("your tribe"), how to seek out trustworthy advice early on, and why staying out of the “trauma drama triangle” is key.
Together, Heather and Colette explore the emotional and practical aspects of separation: from looking after yourself through the process, to working with professionals who match your values, to using SMART targets to reduce overwhelm and stay grounded. It’s an empowering listen for anyone facing a relationship transition—filled with encouragement, honesty, and actionable steps.
About Your Host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Collette:
Collette is a Partner at Knights in the Family team. She advises on a wide range of private family law matters including legal issues arising from relationship breakdown (married, civil partnered, and unmarried) including child arrangements, matters relating to nuptial agreements to protect family wealth, and surrogacy.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this deeply empowering episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt speaks with breakup coach and podcast host Janice Formichella about her personal journey of surviving domestic violence. With honesty, clarity and compassion, Janice opens up about the cycle of emotional, financial, and physical abuse she endured—and how she finally found the strength to leave for good.
This episode explores how domestic violence can begin with love bombing, charm and seduction, and slowly escalate into isolation, control and terror. It also addresses the painful realities of victim blaming, the emotional aftermath of trauma, and how survivors can begin to rebuild their lives.
Key Takeaways
1. Love Bombing & Red Flags
Janice breaks down the early warning signs of abuse, from overwhelming gifts and attention to the subtle erosion of independence and support networks.
2. The Reality of Leaving
Janice explains why leaving an abuser is rarely straightforward, discussing financial control, emotional dependency, and social isolation—and offering practical advice for escaping safely.
3. Healing & Reclaiming Power
She reflects on her journey of healing, including the role of Codependents Anonymous, trauma therapy, and the joy of finally building a healthy, independent life on her own terms.
About The Host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Janice:
Janice Formichella is a breakup coach and the host of the podcasts Sex and the Solo Girl and Breakups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On. She is passionate about helping people from all backgrounds to beat their breakup, overcome loneliness, and make the end of a relationship the start of a powerful new beginning. She is also a survivor of domestic violence and now uses her story to support others and raise awareness about the harmful impact of victim blaming.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt and courageous episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by Janice Formichella—breakup coach, podcast host, and outspoken advocate for healing after relational trauma.
Together, they explore the often-taboo topic of family estrangement. Janice shares her deeply personal story of navigating life after separating from her birth family, revealing the emotional complexity and, ultimately, the liberation that came from her decision.
Janice opens up about her upbringing in a strict religious household, the betrayal she faced after choosing a different path, and the years of hurt that followed her efforts to reconnect. Her story is both devastating and empowering, offering insight into the psychological toll of toxic family dynamics—and the strength it takes to walk away.
For anyone feeling isolated in their experience or burdened by the shame of choosing distance from family, this conversation is a light in the dark.
Key Takeaways:
Normalising Estrangement: Janice highlights why family estrangement, though painful, is sometimes essential for safety, growth and emotional health.
The Scapegoat Role in Dysfunctional Families: An eye-opening conversation about how family systems unconsciously assign roles, and the psychological toll of being cast as the ‘problem’.
A Roadmap to Healing: Janice offers compassionate guidance on how to begin healing from estrangement—including building new community, finding professional support, and trusting one’s decision.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Janice:
Janice Formichella is a breakup coach and the host of the podcasts Sex and the Solo Girl and
Breakups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On. She is passionate about helping people from all
backgrounds to beat their breakup, overcome loneliness, and make the end of a relationship the start of a powerful new beginning. She is also a survivor of domestic violence and now uses her story to support others and raise awareness about the harmful impact of victim blaming.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this solo episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, relationship psychotherapist and love coach Heather Garbutt explores the complex inner world of empaths in relationships. Drawing from both professional insight and personal experience, she examines how deeply caring and emotionally attuned individuals can unintentionally lose themselves in love.
The episode focuses on the shadow side of empathy—when giving becomes over-functioning, boundaries become blurred, and relationships drift into imbalance. Heather speaks candidly about how these patterns can leave empaths burnt out, unfulfilled, and even vulnerable to narcissistic partners.
💬 Key takeways:
Recognising the Shadow Side of Empathy
Heather outlines the warning signs of empathy becoming self-sacrifice—how the instinct to care for others can turn into emotional depletion and burnout.
Understanding the Empath–Narcissist Dynamic
Listeners are guided through how empaths can unconsciously attract narcissistic or highly self-focused partners, and what can be done to break this pattern.
Reclaiming Self-Love and Boundaries
Heather offers practical tools for cultivating self-worth, honouring one’s needs, and stepping into emotionally balanced and fulfilling partnerships
This is an episode for anyone who has ever cared too much, given too much, or felt unseen in their relationships.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast was brought to you by Boost and Bloom
In this deeply honest and thought-provoking episode, Heather is joined by the wonderful Chris Wong—a father of two, licensed therapist turned leadership coach, podcast host, and an advocate for men's emotional wellbeing.
Together, they delve into what it really means to be a man today—far beyond the stereotypes. From the pressures of being the protector and provider, to the quiet epidemic of emotional isolation, this conversation is a compassionate invitation to rethink masculinity.
💬 Key Takeways:
Men and Identity Loss: Chris shares powerful insight on how men often tie their self-worth to their careers, leading to crisis and confusion when work changes or ends.
Emotional Isolation in Marriage: We unpack how many men make their partner their sole emotional outlet—and why this dynamic often leaves both partners unfulfilled.
Breaking the Silence: Chris speaks to the desperate need for safe, non-religious men’s groups—spaces where men can speak openly, vulnerably, and without judgement.
Chris brings the perfect mix of insight, warmth, and groundedness that makes this episode such a gift—whether you’re a man, you love one, or you’re raising one.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
About Chris: Chris is a father of 2, a podcast host, and business owner who lives outside Boston, MA.
He has worked in the nonprofit and healthcare sector for more than 15 years. Chris began his career working as a licensed therapist and transitioned into Learning and Development. He also built a Leadership and Organisational Department from the ground up - including formal mentorship and leadership development programs and led organisational projects.
Chris founded Leadership Potential, where he partners with new nonprofit executives to confidently navigate chaotic transitions and create high performing cultures to get things done. This involves working with nonprofit leaders around executing strategic plans as well as addressing challenges such as conflict resolution, culture enhancement, board engagement, building influence, and fostering inclusive work environments.
Chris serves on the board of a foundation and the board of a nonprofit and also co-hosts the podcast, “The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations”, where he helps people master difficult conversations in all domains of their lives.
In this heart-opening episode of Revolutionise Your Relationships, Heather dives deep into the world of childhood wounds and how they shape our adult lives. From the moment we are born, we begin forming beliefs about the world and our place in it—beliefs that are influenced by the care, attention, and emotional security we receive as children.
But what happens when those early adaptations no longer serve us? When the beliefs we formed as children hold us back from the fulfilling relationships and self-worth we deserve?
In this episode, Heather explores how these patterns manifest in our adult lives—whether it's self-doubt, people-pleasing, or difficulty setting boundaries. Heather discusses the physiological and emotional impact of unresolved childhood wounds and, most importantly, how we can start the healing process.
You’ll walk away with practical tools to recognise and transform old belief systems, cultivate self-compassion, and step into a more empowered, authentic version of yourself. Healing is possible, and it starts with awareness and intention.
💫 Are you ready to let go of the past and embrace a future that truly belongs to you?
Key Takeaways:
The Origins of Childhood Wounds – How the care we received as children shaped our deepest beliefs about love, relationships, and self-worth.
Breaking the Cycle – Identifying the unconscious patterns we carry into adulthood and how to rewrite our internal narratives.
Practical Healing Strategies – Techniques to shift limiting beliefs, cultivate self-compassion, and create new, healthier ways of relating to ourselves and others.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
In this eye-opening episode, Heather Garbutt sits down with Janice Formichella, a breakup coach and podcast host, to discuss the concept of Breakup Brain—the temporary cognitive and emotional chaos that follows a breakup. Drawing from psychological studies and personal experiences, Janice explains how heartbreak can literally lower IQ, impair decision-making, and leave individuals feeling lost and confused.
Heather and Janice explore the physiological and emotional aspects of breakups, highlighting the fight-or-flight responses, emotional regression, and brain fog that many people experience. They discuss the crucial role of self-care, routines, and sleep in regaining clarity, as well as practical tools like journaling, alarms, and structured planning to help manage daily life.
Janice shares her personal journey through divorce and how she rebuilt her life, ultimately finding empowerment in solo living. She also provides expert advice on the No Contact rule, how to manage emotions during a breakup, and why seeking professional support can be a game-changer in recovery.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding "Breakup Brain" and its similarities to "Mommy Brain."
- How breakups temporarily lower IQ and impair decision-making.
- The impact of heartbreak on identity, self-esteem, and mental health.
- The importance of "No Contact" and setting boundaries for healing.
- Practical strategies to overcome confusion, panic, and brain fog.
- How to embrace singlehood and build a fulfilling life after a breakup.
In this inspiring episode, Heather Garbutt, a love and relationship coach, sits down with Alyssa Dineen, a published author and dating expert, to discuss how to navigate life after leaving a toxic relationship. Alyssa opens up about her personal journey of separating from her narcissistic husband and finding love again through therapy and online dating. As the founder of Style My Profile, Alyssa combines her 25+ years in the fashion industry with her expertise in the dating world to empower clients to succeed in online dating. From crafting compelling profiles to finding authentic connections, Alyssa provides actionable advice for anyone seeking love and confidence in the modern dating landscape.
In this engaging episode, Heather Garbutt, a relationship and personal development expert, hosts the esteemed Dr. Trish Leigh. As a cognitive neuroscientist and coach, Dr. Leigh specialises in helping individuals overcome anxiety, internet addiction, and compulsive behaviours. The conversation explores critical topics such as the impact of porn addiction on marriages, the science behind dopamine dependency, and how technology can be used to heal the brain. Dr. Leigh shares her hopeful and empowering approach to helping individuals live their most authentic and fulfilled lives, offering actionable insights and cutting-edge solutions.
In this heart-centred podcast episode, Heather Garbutt, a leading love and relationship coach, warmly welcomes Adele Currin, a transformational relationship and communication coach. Together, they explore Adele’s journey from conscious uncoupling to her inspiring work in helping couples and individuals build authentic and fulfilling relationships.
This engaging conversation dives into the challenges couples face, particularly those disillusioned by traditional therapy. Heather and Adele discuss the transformative power of addressing deep-seated beliefs, developing emotional literacy, and practicing self-compassion. Adele highlights actionable strategies like daily practice, accountability, and effective communication to create lasting positive change.
Listeners will discover compassionate guidance and practical tools to take responsibility for their emotional well-being, paving the way for deeper, healthier, and more connected relationships.
Whether you're looking to rebuild intimacy in your relationship or seeking tools for personal growth, this episode offers valuable insights and inspiration.
In this heartfelt episode, Heather warmly welcomes Sue Ritchie, a holistic health and fertility specialist and the award-winning author of "Love Your Gut." Sue shares her inspiring journey of overcoming Hashimoto's disease through exploring gut health. She passionately discusses the profound connection between gut health, emotional well-being, and fertility. Sue highlights the impact of modern lifestyle choices on our health and the importance of self-care. Her story is a beautiful reminder of the power of holistic practices and mindful eating in nurturing our bodies and enhancing overall well-being.
In this episode, Heather connects with Adele Currin, a transformational relationship and communication coach, about the profound dilemma of whether to stay in or leave a relationship. Adele shares her compassionate approach to guiding clients who feel trapped and confused, emphasising self-compassion, emotional regulation, and personal growth. She introduces foundational steps like understanding feelings and needs, releasing limiting beliefs, and creating a fulfilling life. Adele's holistic coaching, grounded in real-life experiences, empowers individuals to make informed decisions, fostering healthier relationships and a deeper connection with their true selves.
In this heart-centred episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and relationship coach Eva Andriessen share transformative success stories from their clients. They discuss the profound impact of self-trust, emotional healing, and authentic communication in building healthy, committed romantic relationships. Heather and Eva highlight the importance of overcoming past traumas and limiting beliefs to open oneself to love. The episode also promotes their upcoming "Calling in the One" group coaching program, inviting listeners to embark on their journey towards finding true love.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heart-centred episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and guest Eva Andriessen explore the profound differences between wish lists, goals, and intentions in the realm of love. They emphasise the importance of setting intentions aligned with one's true self, rather than superficial desires. The discussion delves into how past emotional wounds can hinder healthy relationships and highlights the journey of self-discovery as crucial for attracting authentic love. The episode also introduces their upcoming eight-week course, "Calling in the One," aimed at guiding participants towards personal growth and relationship readiness, fostering a supportive community.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heart-centred episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and her guest, Eva Andriessen explore the profound themes of body image and self-acceptance. Heather shares personal anecdotes and insights, emphasising the importance of loving oneself to attract healthy relationships. Eva discusses the significance of body positivity, sharing transformative client stories that highlight the journey towards self-love. Together, they underscore that true attraction stems from self-acceptance and inner love, encouraging listeners to embrace their bodies and foster genuine connections.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heart-centred episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and relationship coach Eva Andriessen guide listeners through the transformative "Desire" workshop. They help individuals define the qualities they seek in a partner, set clear intentions, and explore self-development. Emphasising self-love and the importance of releasing toxic relationships, Heather and Eva encourage listeners to build supportive connections and embrace their full energy and enthusiasm. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to share their journeys and insights, fostering a community of growth and love.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and guest Eva Andriessen explore the insidious nature of gaslighting in relationships. They delve into how this manipulative tactic distorts reality, leading individuals to doubt their own feelings and perceptions. Through compassionate dialogue, they highlight the dynamics of power and control, the devastating impact on self-esteem, and the importance of recognising the signs. Listeners are encouraged to seek support, reconnect with their true selves, and embrace the journey towards healing and self-empowerment, reminding them of their inherent worth and the possibility of loving, healthy relationships.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and relationship coach Eva Andriessen explore the intricate phenomenon of love bombing. They offer compassionate insights into recognising this manipulative behaviour, often disguised as intense affection. Heather and Eva stress the importance of self-awareness and setting healthy boundaries to protect one's emotional well-being. Through their empathetic discussion, they empower listeners to discern genuine love from deceitful tactics, fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships. The episode concludes with an invitation to join their course, "Desire: A Path to True Love," aimed at cultivating strong, respectful romantic connections.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and guest Eva Andriessen explore the profound impact of loneliness on love and relationships. They offer compassionate insights and practical advice for navigating feelings of isolation, especially during emotionally charged times like Christmas and New Year's. Heather and Eva distinguish between loneliness and solitude, emphasising the importance of inner connection and self-love. They introduce their upcoming eight-week course, "Calling in the One," designed to help participants overcome loneliness and build fulfilling relationships. Listeners are encouraged to seek support and take proactive steps towards love and connection.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt, a relationship coach and psychotherapist, and guest Eva Andriessen, a relationship coach specializing in narcissistic relationships, delve into the complexities of narcissistic abuse and control. They discuss various types of narcissists, emotional manipulation tactics like gaslighting, and the importance of setting boundaries. Emphasizing the power of ignoring narcissists to diminish their control, they also highlight the necessity of strong support systems. The episode offers practical advice for reclaiming one's true self and navigating the healing process after narcissistic abuse, encouraging listeners to seek help and prioritize their well-being.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," hosts Heather Garbutt and Eva Andriessen explore the critical topic of toxic relationships, particularly those involving narcissistic behaviour. They illuminate the emotional and psychological toll these relationships can take, emphasising that feelings of fear, obligation, or guilt are red flags. The discussion covers the spectrum of toxic behaviour, the challenges empaths face, and the importance of recognising and addressing these unhealthy dynamics. Heather and Eva passionately encourage listeners to seek support, build self-awareness, and prioritise their well-being, reminding everyone that they deserve a loving, supportive relationship.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and guest Eva Andriessen, explore the intricacies of relationships with narcissistic individuals. They provide compassionate insights and practical strategies to help listeners navigate toxic dynamics, emphasising the importance of recognising narcissistic traits and emotional manipulation. The episode offers empowering advice on setting boundaries, protecting oneself, and documenting experiences to counteract gaslighting. Heather and Ava aim to inspire listeners to reclaim their power, fostering healthier, more fulfilling love lives through understanding and self-empowerment.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this heartfelt episode of "Revolutionize Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and health coach Kim Rahir explore the profound importance of self-care for women. They delve into the intricate balance between physical and emotional well-being, highlighting how societal roles can obscure personal needs. Kim shares her journey from journalism to health coaching, emphasising the necessity of understanding one's true self. Heather reflects on her own self-care evolution, underscoring the value of small, manageable changes. Together, they advocate for creating space for self-reflection, seeking support, and embracing interdependence to foster a healthier, more fulfilling life.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionize Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt welcomes resilience and performance improvement expert Hilary Briggs. They discuss the challenges of overwhelm, resilience, and self-care in work, life, and relationships. Hilary shares her journey of overcoming a severe Achilles injury and emphasizes the importance of resilience in managing stress. The conversation highlights how overwhelm can impact physical and emotional well-being and underscores the necessity of self-care for maintaining healthy relationships. Dr. Peter Nixon's stress and performance curve is also mentioned, illustrating the effects of stress on performance and well-being.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this enlightening episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt converses with trauma therapist Sandra Majorana about the transformative power of understanding and integrating the languages of the brain, heart, body, and spirit. Sandra shares her personal journey and the creation of her heart-led program, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging emotional pain as a path to healing. They explore how trauma manifests in the body and the significance of addressing emotional distress for holistic well-being. Sandra also introduces her nine-month program, which equips coaches with trauma-informed skills and promotes profound personal growth. The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange of gratitude and an invitation for listeners to share their takeaways and engage with the community.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this engaging episode of "Revolutionize Your Love Life," legal expert Laurie delves into the thoughtful process of conscious uncoupling. She expertly unpacks the emotional journey of separation and divorce, highlighting the significance of self-care and recognizing personal triggers. Laurie's professional yet approachable demeanour shines as she guides listeners through healing from past hurts and building robust relationship skills for a brighter, post-uncoupling future.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
D’ionna guides professional women to take control of their love lives and attract the reality and relationships they deserve by changing the way they love themselves.
With nearly a decade of certified experience, D’ionna teaches women to tackle their subconscious blocks and develop radical self love that attracts healthier relationships.
What does a Man Look for in a Woman? From her years of research and experience, D’ionna lists and talks through the order of feminine qualities a man looks for when seeking a partner.
APPEARANCE - it’s the first step and easiest to implement, plus men are visual so when they are assessing what do you think they will start with?
❤Hair
❤Skincare and Makeup
❤Clothing
❤Footwear
❤Body (Fitness)
2. PERSONALITY-
❤Who you are and how it complements his personality e.g. lighthearted/playful/serious/intellectual/quite/energetic etc
SOCIAL INTERACTIONS-
❤How you comport yourself in different social situations.
MYSTERY -(creates allure, desire, and curiosity)
❤Don’t tell him everything all at once.
SKILLS & ABILITIES- (no announcement necessary) just do it
❤What have you mastered
❤Your profession
❤Domestic
❤Parenting
MASCULINE AWARENESS-
❤Understanding of general masculine traits (provider, protector, logical, physical strength, Drive, leadership, control)
❤Interacting with men using feminine qualities
Consider these categories and figure out how it applies to you and in what areas you need further focus.
If you’re ready for meaningful healthy relationships that lead to long-term commitment, let D’IONNA guide the way.
Learn more at destinationdionna.com.
HOW YOU CAN CONTACT D'IONNA
❤Website - www.DestinationDionna.com
❤Business Mobile – +1-214-434-7897
SOCIAL MEDIA -
❤YouTube - www.youtube.com/c/destinationdionna
❤Instagram - www.instagram.com/destinationdionna
❤Facebook Free Community - www.facebook.com/groups/loveattractioncommunity
CURRENT OFFER
❤Join my Membership: loveattraction.samcart.com/products/open-enrollment-2024
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
FEMININE CHARACTERISTICS (Core Strengths)
❤Capacity to love
❤Spirituality
❤Delicacy
❤Sensitivity
❤Dignity
❤Graciousness
❤Quiet strength
❤Charm
Bonuses **
❤Ability to understand men
❤Natural feminine nature
'Whether you label it or not, these masculine & feminine dynamics are very prevalent in a relationships.'
'So…. As I review characteristics for you to consider know this….These are in order of how a man would assess a woman’s femininity or lack there of. I’m not saying your femininity is based on a man…but most of you are here because you want to attract a man, so I figured I’d organize it in a way to help you define your feminine and know how it relates to attracting a man.
This is the necessary preparation, the way of being that we need to be in to attract true, quality love.'
D’IONNA guides professional women to take control of their love lives and attract the reality and relationships they deserve by changing the way they love themselves.
With nearly a decade of certified experience, D’IONNA teaches women to tackle their subconscious blocks and develop radical self love that attracts healthier relationships.
If you’re ready for meaningful healthy relationships that lead to long-term commitment, let D’IONNA guide the way.
Learn more at destinationdionna.com.
HOW YOU CAN CONTACT DIONNA
❤Website - www.DestinationDionna.com
❤Business Mobile – +1-214-434-7897
SOCIAL MEDIA -
❤YouTube - www.youtube.com/c/destinationdionna
❤Instagram - www.instagram.com/destinationdionna
❤Facebook Free Community - www.facebook.com/groups/loveattractioncommunity
CURRENT OFFER
❤Join my Membership: loveattraction.samcart.com/products/open-enrollment-2024
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionize Your Love Life," host Heather Garbett talks with Beatrice Allen about the effects of maternal love on women's relationships and wealth consciousness. They delve into "mother hunger," the desire for maternal nurturing, and its influence on scarcity mindset and financial behaviour. Beatrice advocates for using literature to change the narratives around love, money, and self-worth, empowering women to overcome limiting beliefs. She encourages listeners to follow her literary journey on social media for inspiration and transformation.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionize Your Love Life," host Heather Garbett talks with Monica Douglas of Wild Heart Wisdom about opening up to love. Monica discusses her holistic approach, which includes oracle cards and meditations designed to help people connect with their intuition and break down barriers to love. They explore how the practice fosters community and supports personal growth in all aspects of love. Monica shares participant feedback, emphasizing the transformative nature of her work. The episode concludes with Heather inviting listeners to engage with the content and reach out for a deeper exploration of love through the Wild Heart Wisdom approach.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionize Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt interviews relationship coach Geraldine Murphy. They delve into the concept of negative biases and their detrimental effects on relationships. Geraldine explains how our ancient survival instincts can lead to destructive behaviours and assumptions in modern relationships. She offers insights on retraining the brain to combat these biases and emphasizes the importance of not taking partners for granted. The discussion also touches on the value of shared experiences and activities to keep relationships vibrant. Geraldine shares her personal journey and provides resources for listeners to improve their relationships.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionize Your Love Life," Heather Garbutt talks with Brandyn Caires about improving co-parenting post-divorce. Caires, a therapist and Parent Team co-founder, discusses breaking negative cycles and fostering a new, healthy dynamic for the benefit of children involved. She introduces a workbook and course created by Parent Team, designed to aid co-parents in communication, financial management, and establishing two harmonious homes. The tools offered aim to provide early intervention and encourage self-awareness, ultimately supporting the well-being of families navigating co-parenting challenges.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this podcast episode, Heather interviews Brandyn Caires, a seasoned mental health therapist, about the traumatic effects of divorce on children and parents. They discuss the importance of conscious uncoupling and the necessity for parents to manage their stress to support their children's emotional needs. Brandyn highlights the detrimental impact of parental conflict and the potential long-term consequences of adverse childhood experiences. The episode also covers the emotional toll of divorce on children, the issue of parental alienation, and the benefits of therapeutic intervention. Brandon shares success stories from his practice, emphasising the positive change that can occur when parents prioritise their children's well-being during and after divorce.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt offers a gentle and deep relation. If you are stressed, having trouble, relaxing, in a state of overwhelm or just need some time out, listen to this podcast. It will calm you and give you much more headspace and capacity to think and act.
Designed to help listeners unwind, connect with their inner selves, and feel universal love and support. The focus remains on fostering a sense of inner peace and empowerment in love.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and guest Lucy Cavendish debunk common myths about love and dating, such as the scarcity of potential partners and the need for self-love before being loved by others. With topics such as the importance of authenticity, self-awareness, and aligning with one's values in the search for a partner, the conversation also covers the challenges of dating, including past hurts and societal pressures, while emphasising the importance of confidence. Heather and Lucy share personal anecdotes and encourage you to embrace your worth, remain open to new possibilities, and not fear rejection.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and guest Kat Peckitt, a clinical psychology doctor and trauma specialist, discuss the profound effects of unprocessed trauma on relationships. They explore how early life experiences and attachment styles shape one's ability to form healthy connections, and how trauma can manifest in relationships through patterns of protection, survival mode, and emotional numbing. They also touch on the importance of emotional safety in therapy, the role of EMDR in processing trauma, and the cultural shift towards prioritising emotional health. The conversation extends to the work of Dr. Lisa Miller on spirituality's impact on the brain, the complexity of love, and the hope for a more connected and compassionate future.
JOIN US on February 13th 2024 for our FREE Calling in 'The One' Webinar.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode, Heather leads listeners through a meditative exercise designed to facilitate inner dialogue. The focus is on self-exploration, healing past emotional injuries, and caring for various facets of one's personality. This episode serves as a guided introspection session, helping individuals to engage with and understand their internal conversations as a means of personal growth and self-nurturing.
JOIN US on January 30th 2024 for our FREE Calling in 'The One' Webinar.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this episode of "Revolutionise Your Love Life," host Heather Garbutt and a psychotherapist colleague discuss the intricacies of anxious attachment in relationships.
They explore how fear of abandonment influences partner choice and the healing potential of securely attached partners. The conversation covers the importance of self-awareness, self-compassion, and communication in addressing past wounds and improving self-relationships.
They also examine the effects of social media on mental health and relationships, cautioning against the misuse of psychological terms. Personal anecdotes and a call for nuanced understanding of psychological issues enrich the dialogue.
JOIN US on January 30th 2024 for our FREE Calling in 'The One' Webinar.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
In this podcast episode, host Heather Garbutt interviews couple Petulia and Anthony, about their relationship. They discuss how they met online and the importance of serving each other and understanding each other's personalities.
They share their experiences of dealing with work stress and how they handle disagreements. Anthony talks about leaving his toxic job with Petulia's support.
They also discuss their shared love for travel, the importance of communication, and the challenges they faced as an interracial couple. They emphasise the importance of self-love and being authentic in a relationship. The couple also shares how they divide household chores based on their preferences.
JOIN US on January 30th 2024 for our FREE Calling in 'The One' Webinar.
About The Host: Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years, first as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist. She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.
Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Arts Therapists.
This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.
Hi. In this podcast I'm going to talk about creating more life in your relationship. How to enrich it, enliven it, revitalize it.
Has your relationship become a bit tired or stilted?
Are you more coworkers in the family rather than a close couple anymore?
Have you stopped communicating warmly and openly?
Have you even become at worst, more intimate enemies than close friends and lovers?
Emotional connection is so important for the happiness of a couple. The research shows that we are emotionally attuned to our partner and our mood is coloured by theirs and vice versa. Anxiety levels can be raised or lowered by the quality of connection. If you are cautious of each other, fractious and competitive, then it's likely that the emotional connection creates anxiety and life isn't very pleasurable. It can even affect your ability to think and act because you're in a low level fight and flight state all of the time, more of your blood will be in the back of your brain. Brain in survival mode.
It literally reduces the blood flow to your cerebral cortex, your frontal lobes, so you'll be less likely to be able to think or communicate. Clearly. Making decisions, learning and being creative will also be affected. So if you are loving, appreciative, and accepting, open and kindly honest together, then you are likely to be calmer, warmer, and relaxed, and enjoy your life together. It makes sense to nurture it for the peace of mind, joy that it brings, and so that you can begin building your life together rather than just bearing it or surviving in it.
So number one, start a date night. Again, could be an afternoon, could be first thing in the morning, whatever suits you, but it could be you've lost your date time together, you've deprioritized your relationship. So get that back in place. So many things will come from there. Choose something you both enjoy. Maybe dinner, a film, a sports event, a walk together, whatever it is, make sure there are some time to talk at least half an hour. If your partner is open and willing, it's easy. But if you've lost connection and trust, there might be coolness and you might need a lighter touch. Just be curious about their thoughts and feelings. Maybe what they say about the film, about the dinner. Just ask a little more. This can be a way into a deeper conversation.
If your partner is on the logical practice, practical side of their personality, they probably won't so much welcome being asked how they feel. They might want to tell you more about what they think, what they've done, and give you opinions. This doesn't mean they're egotistical, it just means they're that way focused. They're more instrumental than expressive in old fashioned terms. They're more in their masculine mode, not feminine. If they're more touchy feely, the expressive side, it might be better to ask how they feel about things. Be curious, not judgmental. This is part of getting to know them on the inside. Again, if things have got so worn down that you are reluctant to do that, or you say you will, but never get to a date, you may have a bit more work to do. First, here are some ideas for both possibilities and to get things started.
Appreciate rather than criticize each other to reestablish connection. Look at the ways you criticize or annoyed or are annoyed by your partner. Make a note of how many times a day you might be chipping away at them. Passively, aggressively, small, negative comments, approval, nudges of blaming or shaming. Challenge yourself to list the things that you really appreciate about them. It may be things you've overlooked that you take for granted or don't consider important, but which make life smoother or take some pressure off.
You could be in your blind spot, you know, but nonetheless important criticism and lack of appreciation are some of the things that can cause us to spiral down into mutual lack of recognition. It creates disconnection and disinterest. When one person feels really taken for granted and that what they think isn't important, it's invalidated or dismissed. They're not gonna feel very warm or loving, open or responsive. They could even be trying to express their love and affection in their love language, and that really needs to be appreciated. Appreciation in itself will create softness and warmth.
Be grateful and appreciative towards yourself, your partner and life. One of my favorite exercises is to sit together and tell each other three things you're grateful for. By turn, first one of you, then the other. Then three things that you can pat yourself on the back for today by turn again, and then three things you appreciate about them today. This can be an easy way to connect because by knowing what they're grateful for, you'll know what matters to them. By hearing what they appreciate about themselves and are proud of, you will know what things are difficult for them or big achievements, what to celebrate with them. By knowing what they appreciate about you, you will know what to do more of, you will know each other so much better and be able to express love implicitly in this exercise. It can be done on your date night as a regular weekly thing. I know some people who do it as a family, you can do it daily over dinner or when you go to bed. It doesn't have to be formal, you know it can be done slowly and gently over a period of time and conversation.
Look at the points of conflict and agree to work on them. Notice what the things are that trigger you into irritation, snappiness, criticism, shaming, or blaming, and think about how you want to handle those things together. What are your triggers? Is it lateness? Clearing up the kitchen, not listening while you're talking. Whatever it is, talk to each other about it and see if there are ways you can handle it differently so you get a win-win. It might even be that your partner doesn't understand the effect of their actions upon you, how it makes you feel. You might feel unimportant to them that they don't care about you or you might feel unloved. Being open and vulnerable about your feelings can give that person a choice to do something differently in the future. If they don't know about your feelings, and most of us aren't mind readers, they can't take them into her account.
One thing that I find really opens up possibilities between couples is to do the online love languages quiz together and discover what each other's strongest love languages are, and it's so important for us to feel loved and loving. I'm just gonna name the love languages, so we're all clear. Their acts of service, quality, time spent together, physical touch, words of appreciation or affirmation, gifts, and I think there's another one which is giving space for self-care and self-expression. This might mean a bit of solitude, but I think that's really quite important. Understanding each other's primary love languages will help you express love to them in a way that they can receive and vice versa. It may take a bit of practice, but it's really well worth it.
Most people will be interested in getting and giving more love, even if they won't admit it upfront. So if your partner's love language, his acts of service, do some little things for them. Just prepare things in advance or make them a packed lunch, but whatever it is that just takes the pressure off them. If they like quality time spent together, make some time to be together and do something nice. They may just want to be with you without anybody else. They may want to go off and do something, sociable, inquire, see what it would be that would work for them.
Yes it can be as simple as doing household tasks together that can make somebody feel happy and loved, not alone doing things. So let's move on to physical touch. It's important to most of us, but not all of us. Simply holding hands can give a feeling of love and connection. Snuggling up to watch a film on TV can really enhance the experience and generate warmth. Also, kissing hello and goodbye and allowing tender moments can really be affirming to the relationship you're in. Many of us feel loved through sex, so it's important to discuss that too and make a place for it in your life if it's important for the two of you.
And words of appreciation can be just so important. If you're never told that you look nice or that it was lovely of you to do the driving or book the film, you'll likely feel unseen and undervalued. If your love languages is words of appreciation, the touchy feely people amongst us often really need that. They need just the words.
Often, if our love languages are different, we don't get it that the other person wants one of the others. Giving or receiving gifts is a very sweet connection if your love languages of gifts. But if it's words of appreciation, gifts won't necessarily cut it. If you love words of appreciation and your partner is an acts of service person, they're not likely to see the point of words even finding them empty or meaningless. They might give you all the acts of service in the world, and it might not touch you unless they're expressed. In some words, understanding this can be liberating to both of you and really jade new possibilities for closeness. You'll each be able to understand when the other is expressing love and to know what to do to make them feel loved.
The final thing is to plan things for the future. There are stages in life when old ways of being no longer so, and it's important to take stock about what you want for the future. Some of the conversations on your date night could include things that you want out of life, activities that you might want to do together or separately, places you might want to visit, activities you might want to learn about, dreams you want to fulfill. This will live your spirits together as you plan these activities to enable you both to experience and enjoy each other and your lives in this world. It could be that revisiting the place you honeymooned or had romantic holidays could really help connection, really help you reconnect with each other and how you were together in those early days of your relationship. I hope this gives you some ideas about how to revitalize your relationship and create a happy home environment.
Lots of love as always. Bye for now.
This is a podcast about getting over someone and that can be, um, a trivial relationship or a long-term relationship. This is one of those podcasts that answers questions I've been given.
Question number one, what does getting over someone even mean? So when we end a relationship, there are inevitable feelings of loss. There'll be regret, sadness, likely be hurt and anger, and quite often unfinished business. Getting over someone means completing that unfinished business for yourself, even if you're not able to complete it with them. One of Freud's well-known phrases was What you don't resolve, you repeat. None of us wants to waste our lives going over the same old ground in one relationship after another, not getting what we want or what we need.
We need it and want it to be better next time. So at the end of a relationship, it's important to evaluate what was good, what was bad for you, what was indifferent. So when you have a next relationship, you are even clearer about what you're looking for and what you want to avoid.
You might ask yourself these questions, what was attractive to me about this relationship and the other person?
What was I hoping for that I did get?
What was I hoping for that I didn't?
How was I in that relationship?
Could I be fully myself? Could I be relaxed?
Was I making too many sacrifices?
Were my feelings and needs respected and honored?
Was there enough respect, support, love and affection for me in the way that I want to be loved?
Was my former partner willing and able to show me enough love in that way?
So those are really important questions, but I think the key one is, what was my 3%? What did I do in that relationship that made it less fruitful, less enjoyable, less long? You know, what did I do that cut it short, that created disconnection. How did I contribute? We want to really be homing in on ourselves to identify what were our feelings and needs that were not being acknowledged or truly expressed in the relationship.
Did we speak up enough about our feelings and needs?
Was there a disconnection?
Were they not heard?
Were they not understood?
Were they not valued?
Was there a mismatch there in feelings and needs that they create a conflict?
Were you dimming down your own light in order to be acceptable in the relationship?
Were you tolerating bad behaviour or behaving in ways that you didn't like for yourself?
Get a really clear, honest devaluation and that will help you to grow in maturity and develop new relationship skills so that you don't just repeat but evolve. So let's look at what getting over a relationship means. It's slightly different with each one. And if you have children together, it may be that your goal would be working through what went wrong between you so you can have enough of a civil relationship to take care of your children and co-parent. Well, conscious uncoupling can really help this. Even if only one of you takes the program, the results can be astounding. Read the book. Read the book if nothing else. Conscious uncoupling by Catherine Woodward, Thomas. Sometimes couples even get back together as a consequence of the increased communication and honesty that comes through in doing the program.
If trust and respect between you have completely gone or you feel unsafe, your goal may be to completely separate from your former partner, never see them again. In this case, healing and growing and making sure you never make the same mistakes again is your goal. You can use the conscious uncoupling process for yourself. Really explore and free yourself from those old underlying patterns that made you think it was okay to enter into a relationship with someone who was less safe. And it will help you own your skills at discerning who is safe and who isn't. 'cause quite often if we've had issues in our childhood, those skills of discernment are reduced.
And the next question was, should getting over someone be the goal after a relationship? And I think it's part of the goal. Often when we part from someone we still love or did love, it opens up deep feelings that go way back to our attachment styles we formed in childhood. This is often something that we're unaware of on a conscious level, but we'll be living in and acting out of unconsciously. We need to separate out from the other person and do that healing to evolve from those early childlike patterns of dependency and demand and move into more adult healthy interdependence.
A breakup is a real opportunity to grow and change. And if we don't get over the other person, we're likely to be stuck in a very young pattern of relating that will not be healthy for us going forwards and block us from having more future healthy love. It's more like a parent-child relationship with you being the child, having very little power or agency. You'll need to grow and rise up through this for healthy future love. So what other ways can we move on from relationship?
There's a running joke that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
You may have regrets and you may need to make amends possibly to them and most likely to you. But it's a waste of your life looking back and not living into your future. It means you're stuck in the past and a victim to those old patterns and ways of being that way lies, depression and misery, even self-hatred. Please don't get bogged down in the past. Look to the light and the better future consciously uncouple or call in a completely different kind of one with love, as always.
This podcast is all about how to close down a relationship that's been casual. Or maybe just a few dates might have turned into a situation-ship or just something you've decided you've had enough of and it's really not right for you. There's a number of questions that people ask me and I'm gonna go through them one at a time.
First one is, is there ever a right way to reject or turn someone down that you've been casually dating? And yes, I think it's always better to be clear and assertive. This just isn't working for you. You don't need to itemize what you find wrong with the other person, but that you really feel you are just not a good fit. If they persist with you, it may be that you need to block them from your life. If they won't listen to your word and your assertiveness, they really are not the right person for you to be in relationship with at all. And that could become much more about their power control and persuasion rather than equality and love.
So I'm asked as well what to avoid when crafting this kind of text message or composing a conversation ready to have on the phone or if it should be done in person. I think there are levels with this that might be important to listen to. If it's a casual thing, avoid saying all the things that are wrong with them. Stick with things like it's not a good fit for me, or I'm just not feeling it. Don't get into a discussion or be argued out of your feelings. You can be gracious and thankful with them for their time and involvement, but again, if they're persistent and try to persuade you, they're definitely not the right one for you 'cause they'll be refusing to hear you. I think so much depends on the depth of the relationship that you've developed and the level of trust that there is between you. Whether you want to do this by text, phone, or in person. If the relationship has been relatively superficial within frequent or few dates, then it's a simple text, that's fine. But if things have become more involved between you, then a phone call or an in-person meeting would be more appropriate.
Listen to how you are feeling in your body about being in their presence. If it gives you anxiety about their rejection and their feelings about it and you are fearful, you'll not be able to hold your ground and it's best not to do it in person or over the phone. You don't want to get into a position where somebody's trying to dominate you or plead with you. If it's not right, it's not right. If they feel grown up and respectful to you, then it's your choice about how comfortable you feel speaking to them on the phone or in person act With as much integrity and clarity as possible and some relationships, they can get quite intense. Even though you've never met at all, you may have shared an awful lot online wine and that can get quite complex.
Again, if you want to stop this, be clear and kind and firm, don't waste your time pursuing a relationship if you believe it can never really give you what you want. There are people in the world who believe they're having a relationship if they're having one just online and that could be enough for them or enough for you even. But you need to be honest about that. If you really want an in-person relationship, if you want to live close to somebody or with somebody and it's just an online relationship and there's no sign of you being able to get together, then you could spend a lot of years waiting and wasting your time.
And the next question I'm given is, what about people who are overly apologetic in these sorts of messages? How should we be and how should we relate to them? So if people are over apologetic in rejecting us, it generally means they're very afraid of somebody else's reaction, possibly your anger or your upset. It's also likely they may have an exaggerated view of the effect, the effect that they have on others. Overly apologetic people are likely to be very sensitive themselves and assume that others are equally so. If you see, feel somebody is overly attached to you, then it's difficult not to be apologetic because you know you're gonna be hurting their feelings. But it's better to just be clear, kind and frank, keep it neutral. This is just not a good fit for me. I'm really not feeling it.
The next question, can it be better to be ghosted than to receive a rejection text? No, I don't think so. I think being ghosted leaves you with so many other questions and it's much better to know where you stand. Closure ends the long emotional waiting for some response and wondering what you've done wrong, which again, will trigger all your insecurities. Being treated with respect is much less hurtful. And by the same rule, I think anyone who goes to you and then comes back may not really be worth your time 'cause they didn't respect you. When they let go, they don't fit the basic criteria of trust and respect in the relationship without those. Romance can bloom, but true love, nope, no chance.
Question number five. How do you advise dealing with romantic rejection when it's done in these ambiguous ways? If a person ghost ghosts you, it's much more likely to be about them than you. They don't have the courage to speak up or they don't care for and respect your feelings enough. Either way, they're probably not good relationship material. It's always really important at the beginning to assess your potential partner's values. It's not just what they do, but how they behave, what they believe. If you don't like the way they treat a waiter, there's probably going to be a point that they will treat you Similarly, it can belie disrespect of others, which may be for any number of reasons, but generally means they're not emotionally mature and they're not somebody you want to be in relationship with.
Number six is a crunch question. Why can rejection from a casual relationship feel so painful? Lots of reasons for this. When we enter into relationship, we go in with hope, like moving into a new home. You begin to imagine what it would be like to be that person. And when we imagine something, it becomes more real. We have to do that to some degree to see if it feels right, but we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves. Go carefully, go slowly. If we stick with the housing analogy, it's like we feel we've signed the contract when we haven't even done the second viewing. We're falling in love with someone we don't really know. We just see an outline of we are falling in love with the person we imagine them to be. We've not really tested that against reality. We are falling in love with our ideal and we really need to see if the person is really our ideal or fall short of it by a long stretch.
Issues of emotional attachment from childhood can come into play when we are beginning to date somebody. If there's been parental absence, rejection, neglect, the feelings associated with that can come alive in the new relationship. This means when there is rejection, it's not a simple, sorry, this isn't right for me. It's much more in the magnitude of rejection of a parent to a child and we will feel it as if we were a child with all the intensity that goes with that. If we'd have significant emotional or practical rejection, absence or neglect in childhood, we're also likely to behave and believe in ways that predispose us to further rejection.
If we haven't done our emotional work, we're also likely to attract people who are like our caregivers when we were young. And if this keeps happening, I think it's appropriate to get some professional help so you can develop more emotional maturity yourself. You can learn to take care of yourself emotionally first and really discern who is a healthy person for you to be in relationship with. That way you can save yourself a lot of unnecessary pain and choose wisely. This is one of the reasons I do calling in the one coaching. If you're interested, let me know.
So I'm here to talk about how not to keep choosing the wrong partner, especially if you choose narcissists. My name's Heather Garbutt and I'm a love and relationship coach. Please give me a like or a a hashtag replay and I'll know that you'll see me and it gives me an idea of who's here and what you need. So I'm going to talk about how you break the pattern of choosing the wrong partner. I want you to be able to see them coming and know who is a good fit for you and who isn't.
I receive this beautiful message from a really gorgeous woman, body and soul. And she keeps attracting the wrong kind of person. So the message was I experienced a lot of trauma in relationships. Not saying this from a victim standpoint, it's just to explain my father was emotionally unavailable and possibly a narcissist. My ex-husband was abusive in many ways and since then, I've only chosen men that use me or are emotionally unavailable. I managed to get out after the fact, but I wanted to identify the feelings or underlying tones that pull those that hurt or are unsupportive to me. I know this is intense, but I believe a lot of women experience similar things and eventually give up on love. I almost don't want to desire a partner because I somehow feel that I will attract the past.
So courageous, so beautiful, and I think very common, very common, and people experience this now. So how do you choose the right partner and create a relationship free of the old patterns, especially ones that are potentially abusive? Well, first off, let's look where these patterns come from. Most of us have experienced some emotional trauma in life, emotional trauma or neglect in childhood, and where there's trauma, it could be emotional, it could be mental, physical or sexual. Could be financial, could be the roof over your head, could be bereavement, all sorts of things. All of these things have an effect on us. And previous generations just didn't have the emotional education we have now. So they passed on their coping mechanisms to us.
So they could not recognize your feelings, not able to comfort you, spend time with you, see how you might be affected by anything. They could actively have silenced you because that's what they did with themselves. They could have abused you because that's what they received, thinking that the only way of discipline is violence and not being able to manage their own feelings. So lashing out, feeling triggered and traumatized when there's any stress in life. So they lashed out.
So if you had that in your life, you, you would have a choice. I'm gonna look at two ways today. So here are you watching and there's trauma happening. There's a big row happening, or you've just been rejected or you've just been shamed or ridiculed. You're likely to go over here, which is the flight and freeze part of trauma reaction. So you're likely to make judgements about, oh, right, so when that happens, this is how I feel. I never wanna feel like that. So I'm going to go over here and freeze and run away.
And from that place, I'm gonna reflect and work out what all the dynamics were that created that situation. And I'm going to start making sure that I protect against that in the future. So the other side that you can go to is the driven side, likely to be domineering and grabbing, more likely to be in the abusive side of things, doing what the parents did or the the bully did in order to feel powerful. Over here, we know about feelings.
We're reflective, we don't know about feelings. We're really avoiding them and getting other people to look after us to help us not feel our feelings. Over here, we are more likely to see our feelings in somebody else. We deny our feelings and project them outwards and then look after them in somebody else. So how you first experience the connections with your parents or your caregivers or other people is likely to be what you think Love is what you think a relationship is. And it's all unconscious. It's, it's not a sensible thinking. So if you say experience a father or mother who is unavailable, distant, critical, self-centered, then you are likely to believe that it's your role in relationship to placate. Please avoid upsetting, just plain be quiet and hidden so as not to intrude upon them and create the trauma again that you most fear.
So you'll be diminishing your own feelings and needs because they create danger, danger of upset, or you feeling rejected, unsafe in pain, generally in pain you'll probably have become quite empathic and careful watching and vigilant trying to predict those behaviours that you see in others and keep the peace you'll possibly become. Selfs, sacrificial and compulsively. Putting the needs of others first. What you want and need may not even make your list of priorities.
So what does this mean in terms of relationships?
Well, until we resolve the old patterns, we are likely to repeat them. So in dating, you're likely to choose people to take care of. They might not always look like they need taken care of in the first instance. So you need to be very careful about getting involved quickly. Narcissistic people really work out what your longings are and we'll look to promise you those. Even give you those in the sort of love bombing early stages. So you've gotta test, you've gotta test the reality of that. Can they sustain it? A friend of mine's father told him, it's okay, you only have to be well-behaved for six months and then you can do anything you want. You'll have got them then. So be careful. It may not take you six months 'cause you're gonna be a bit wiser. But in dating, if you're in this old pattern, you need to take your time. You really need to take your time and really see who the person is. See if they ask about, understand and prioritize your feelings, see how they treat other people. See if they're competitive or contemptuous of other people's needs. If they're competitive, do they have to make somebody else feel worse so they can feel better? Do they take responsibility for their actions? Are they always in victim mode? Somebody takes their car parking space. Do they go up in arms about it, really feel outraged, like the world's against them? Watch for those sorts of things. People in victim mode can be really traumatized and not evolved enough for you.
So your first task is to really tune into you so that you know what your feelings and needs are so you can feel if they're dismissed or not, so that you can really champion yourself moment by moment. So if, if you are say on a date and you need a bathroom, and he says, or she says, oh, you can wait a bit longer. Red flag. If you are choosing your wine and he wants red wine and you want white wine and he orders a bottle of red, red flag and you order yourself a glass of white or you leave, you know, do you want to spend any more time with somebody that is so dismissive and it may be more subtle, it may be more pressurized. Oh, come on, just try this red. Okay, I will once. But not if it becomes a pattern.
So you have to really tune into what you need so you can feel when there's that crosscurrent to what you need. Doesn't mean you have to be selfish, of course you can choose how you behave. Of course you can, but too much compromise will put you out of integrity with yourself and it becomes sacrifice and you lose yourself. And that's not what I want for you either. So part of what you need to be doing, is balancing. You need to take some of this active self that's been denied because you wanted to keep small, safe, and hidden over here. You need to get some more active self and be driven for your good. When you truly care for yourself, you nurture yourself in the moment and you plan for the future. You most desire, you hold to your goals and intentions. So whenever you are with somebody, you can then measure, does this person really meet with my intention for myself, for the future with what I want Now?
Do they really live their life in a way that's rich and fulfilling?
Do they have something to give me? Do they want me to fill in all the gaps?
Do they want me to do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, old role things?
Do they want me not to have any other friends?
Do they want me just to be there for them?
Do they get overly jealous?
Watch out for those behaviours. And if you can feel any of those that is taking you away from your intention for true love, respectful, supportive, mutually beneficial love with somebody that you adore, you won't adore them for very long if they're the nasty type, but you need to be more active about it. You can't stay in that passive place. You need to be more active. And once this new active way becomes a bit more ingrained of self-care, you'll be able to see who is a suitable mate and who isn't. You'll likely be much calmer in yourself and you'll be intuitive in your body. You'll notice when you feel tight in your solar plexus or whether your throat tightens, whether your eyes close, whether you hold your tongue to the roof of your mouth in tension, whether you lift your shoulders, whether you curl your toes tackled onto the ground. You'll notice, you'll notice those small sensations that mean there's a red flag here.
When you are calm, you'll notice any ripples in your calmness that happened when you were around other people. And you'll also pick up on their imbalance, their emotional charge, their stress levels, and fear. You'll notice when they prioritize themselves over you and dismiss your feelings and needs as invalid or not important. And you'll see they're driven, controlling and land grabbing, centre stage grabbing behaviour, and you'll be spontaneously able to turn away and know that person is insufficiently evolved for you. It's lovely, lovely. I love seeing when that happens.
To know more, Email me: heather@heathergarbutt.com
Today I'm gonna talk about deal makers and deal breakers. These are things to consider before you meet the person before you make a date, particularly if you are online dating. If you're meeting them in person, you'll probably get an idea and the feel of them first. Unless of course it's a blind date set up by somebody else, but if it is set up by someone else, then you'll know that they think this person is a good enough person for you and might be a good match.
If it's a blind date, you need to do a little bit of homework. If you can completely blind date
So really go back to the intention that you've set for yourself and the vision you've created. We did this in the desire course that I've been going through in the lives. Um, so d is for really defining what you want and e is for being exact and creating your vision of them. So you really want to create the intention like it's April, 2024 and I am in the best, most beautiful, loving, reciprocally, affectionate and sexual romantic relationship of my life. That's quite long, but it's something you can more or less remember. So that's what you hold as your north star. Is this person going to take me there or are they playing games? Are they just not right for me? So here are some of the things that can be useful to consider or made a list. Firstly, are they well mannered, considerate, and respectful? Do you get a sense of their trustworthiness in the way that they write to you or they they talk to you? Are they responsive and reliable? Do they text you or contact you when they've said they will? And if they don't, have they got a good reason and do they apologize?
Can you sense the warmth, the friendliness, the honesty, the kindness, the humorous, the that, the the real quality of who they are? Can you get a sense of that before you even get in the room with them? Can you get a feel for their emotional intelligence? That means that they'll be considerate of your feelings and likely be aware of how their words and behaviour might affect you. Or they may notice a quality in your text or in your voice if you're talking on the phone and follow up. Do they ask about you? Are they interested in you or do they just want to tell you all about them? Now, if you are a woman looking for a man, the chances are they will want to tell you all about them because they're trying to impress you. So give them a little leeway on that, but raise it. You know, shall I tell you a little bit about me? And if he turns the conversation back to him again, that might be a bit of a red flag. But if he says, yes, yes, I've gone on, please tell me about you. Tell me more about you. I want to know who you are, then that's a really good sign.
That thing about being able to apologize is really key. It's quite often very difficult for people to acknowledge they've done something wrong and apologize. It it, it takes some humility and it takes some grownup-ness. But if they can apologize, they can take responsibility for if they've let you down or kept you waiting over overly long. That's really important to hear.
And the converse is true, you don't wanna be apologizing all the time. If they're asking you to be apologetic for something that's not a good sign. Maybe once you know, they could say You've kept me waiting a really long time and I was getting hurt and upset, then you apologize. But if it's, where the hell were you? Mm, red flag, can they see their influence on what happens in their lives? Are they a victim of their lives? Do they feel to you like they've got some autonomy and choice? Or are they just a succumbing to the slings of arrows, slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? You want somebody with some dynamism, somebody who can be powerful in the world. It's made me laugh cuz a friend of mine once said, yeah, women want a man with a bit of gumption and he's right, he's right. The piece we talked about last week is about do they share your values? Do they want similar things in life? Do they actually want a relationship? A lot of people will say, let's wait and see. And they're more likely to be somebody who's looking for a relationship than then Somebody says, no, I'm not. They're very definitely not. Um, but sometimes there's a quirk. People say they're looking for a relationship, but they want to keep it just on text. They don't want to meet up, they don't want to develop anything more. There's a sense of, uh, avoidance. And they'll, they'll keep you at arm's length or keep you waiting because they think they want a relationship, but really they're too scared or not capable of having one.
Another one is, do they have a healthy lifestyle? You know, healthy enough? I mean, have they got any active addictions that you can see? Do they go out and get drunk on a Saturday night, every Saturday night? And is there Sunday lost to them? Do they drink every night of the week? It may matter to you if they smoke or not. If you're looking for a long term relationship, you want somebody who's reasonably healthy who takes care of themselves.
And do they feel equal to you? It's important, you know, different qualities or important, maybe they need to be equally educated or equally intelligent. That can be important. Equally sporty, equally cultured, equally interested in the, the earth and gardening. You know, these are things that are all things that matter to me. So they're ones that come to my mind immediately. And the other one for me is, can they cook
So let's look at it from the other side, the deal breakers.
So that these for me are that they're unreliable, disrespectful, that they cross boundaries, that they go into flirtatious sexy text or conversation on the phone before you've even met them. And just assuming, um, taking center stage and objectifying you, will you play that game with them? And you know, when you've known each other a while, that can be a lovely thing, a really lovely thing. When you're apart to talk on the phone in a flirtatious way, it can be delightful, but not before you've met that, that's not respecting you as a, a person, as a woman. Do they behave suspiciously, give you the feel that they want to have power over you rather than power with you? You get that feeling of game playing. They might tell you that you are wrong about a lot of things. They might assume, um, a superiority or keep aloof. Um, what's that phrase? Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen. You don't want to have anything to do with that. The deal breaker number three is they don't respond when they say they're going to and disregard how that might affect you. They, they feel cold a bit disinterested, not really that friendly. You get a feeling that they're not being honest and you don't feel that they're being kind. And one way of assessing too, you know what, what their quality of their relationships is, is the quality of their friendships. So ask about friends, ask about family. What are their relationships like with them?
You wanna be looking for emotional intelligence. If they, if they don't demonstrate that, if they don't consider your feelings and they lack awareness of their behaviour on you or anybody else in their life, then they're really not for you. If they're not able to apologize if they've let you down or kept you waiting, that's a red flag. If they really are in victimhood that the world or their ex is out to get them, if they, if they don't hold out a job and it's always hold down a job and it's always the other person's fault, then that's a red flag. If they have active addictions and don't have a sense of living healthily or a clear intention to live a bit more healthily, don't get me wrong, I'm no puritan. I like a glass of wine like the next woman. But if, if it's a compulsive habit, you need to watch out. If it's a regular habit, you need to watch out. Cuz if they're doing that when they're 30, 40, 50, are they gonna last until they're 60, 70, 80? And if they do, would you wanna be with them?
If your values are freedom and adventure and commitment and there's our, I want to stay at home and do the same things every week for the rest of my life. Um, but I want to see other people too, that's not gonna be a fit for you. Think about those values. Think about what's important to you first off, and see if they match. And if they don't, don't waste your time.
I think I've covered the piece about inferiority and superiority. You don't wanna be with anybody who considers themselves better than you talking down to you. It may trigger your own core beliefs. You know, your fears about not being good enough. Don't worry about that. If they're having to oppress you in some way to make themselves feel superior, they're really not worth your time, cuz that won't end well. And don't either go for somebody so much, not your equal. You need somebody who can meet you where you are, at least otherwise you're going to feel you're gonna rescue them. Look after them, you know, be, become the person that wears the trousers in relationships.
I can remember one woman years ago said to me that when her partner moved into her house, he'd put on his nappies. And I thought that was such, um, a shocking thing to say. But what she meant was that she, she didn't give him any room to be the man and he just gave up any sense of responsibility. We teased out the talking and the talking afterwards and that's what she meant. That the two of them had colluded together. For him to be helpless and her to be all powerful and neither liked it, it really didn't work well. So equality, respect, generosity in an equal measure and being reasonably close by so it's not a big hassle or even a drama to get to see them. So you don't have to spend your life on trains, in the car, on buses, on planes, on boats, whatever it is. You know, that might be nice occasionally, but not as a routine way of being. It's not gonna last.
So write it all down. What's good for you and what's not good for you. It's really easier if you've got it defined in black and white. But bear in mind, this isn't an all inclusive list. You're gonna listen to your own feelings and your instincts as well. You know, if your gut tightens not with joy when you are gonna see them, you don't want to be with them. If you've got times with fear or anxiety or if they're so attractive that you are beside yourself, you don't wanna be with them, cuz the chances are you'll stop being you and that that's not a good sign, that's a deal breaker because you get to be inferior and clinging. No good, no good. If the attraction is equal, explore it. But wait until you really know each other, because it could be one of those attractions that is from an early part of you and underdeveloped part of you that just wants to clinging. And if you move in really quickly, chances are you can move out really quickly. So go slowly, make that container of trust, make that container and respect before you deeply engage. You want somebody who nurses your heart, loves your heart, cherishes you, who makes you feel excited, warm, calm, and safe and happy and excited to see them because you feel good when you're with them, not for any other reason.
So if you want to know more, contact me at heather@heathergarbutt.com. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life. I'd like to know what has been your biggest takeaway from this conversation. Do take a minute and share this with us and visit us on our Facebook page. If you can think of someone who will benefit from listening to this podcast, please do share it with them. If you have any feedback on how I can improve it, please do reach out to me as I'm always keen to learn more.
Thank you so much again for listening, and we'll meet again on the next episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life.
Hi, I'm Heather Garber love and relationship coach and I'm doing another of my lives on the theme of desire.
This is a workshop, a series of lives to help you find true, committed, romantic love. And this is part four. We are going through the letters E for defining, E for being exact about what you want. S for self-development and I is now for invincible.
You need to be invincible to any negative influences that pull you from your path. This might be people, places, work, all sorts of things. Culture, you live in many different parts of your life that are, how could I say, drains on you. You'll notice as you do this work that you want to separate out from people who are drains and draw yourself towards those who are radiant, those who are like you, who are on a spiritual path to personal growth and enrichment of life on every level.
It may be you need to clean things up from the past, that there are old resentments that are bitter in you. You may need to really look at these from the past and from the present and think what truth you may have been withholding from the people or from yourself, from that situation, and really speak up for yourself. Make it very clear what you don't like if it's safe to do so, and if they don't really get it, you just disinvest give them a a couple of chances to really see what you're saying.
It may be, I don't know, there's somebody that you feel always wants something from you. They only phone you up when they want something and you've been holding that back saying to them, actually, I feel really quite uncared for by you. I feel you only really want me if I've got something to give you that you need and I'm not sure I want to continue our relationship like that. So maybe we can find a better way where there's more give and take and I get something out of it as well as you. It may not be something that bold and solid, but it might. It might.
So if there are old resentments, maybe with people who are gone from your past, you might want to write them a letter. Not necessarily to send, but just to get it all out of your system. Speak up for yourself in ways that you couldn't at the time or you didn't at the time. Be clear, be honest about your feelings and choose to forgive them or close the door. Some sort of closure for you that lets that go there. That's another category of things to let go, and that's if there are people in your life, uh, that you really need to draw boundaries with, reduce your investment. Step back. Just really notice that very clear, very clearly for yourself.
Other things that you have agreed with other people, this really needs looking at too. If those things from the past that you've agreed that really aren't useful to you now you need to go back through and just let go of those things and make new agreements in your own mind or with those people. It may be that you promised the first partner of your life that you'd never love anybody else. We talked about this a little bit last time, but you need to let go of that new agreement. Make an agreement with yourself that I will love whomsoever. I choose Howsoever. I choose, this is me now. That was me. Then I'm going forwards differently.
Be very careful about any sort of situations that are toxic to you where you feel you have to be less of yourself to be acceptable there. This is part of your work for you. Firstly, that you'll allow yourself to feel less than acceptable. That needs to be challenged. Likely very different views and truths will come out when you do that. Very different.
There will be things as you do this work that you'll embrace new ways of being, new skills, new relationship skills, relationship with yourself and others, and your life and love and your spirituality. There will be things that you want to let go of, things that no longer serve you, that dishearten you, that diminish you, that sap your energy.
There will be new skills, new ways of being that you learn as a possibility here so that you can be different so you can live from your healthy future self unencumbered by all of this draining stuff from the past. Well, all from the present. It will fall away and you will live from that fooled, true you properly loved and loving, firstly loving your yourself as the core and seed corn for all the love you will receive in your life. You'll be inspired to take new actions, make new decisions, different choices. You'll really feel yourself growing and really no longer interested in the things and people that drain you where you may feel a victim to circumstance or others where you may feel diminished in any way.
Please join me in the Facebook group calling in the one official coach led Europe and beyond group. We'd love to see you there. If you are needing more support with parting from a current relationship that's run its course, have a look at the conscious uncoupling official coach led group Europe and beyond that may really help you and you might like to visit my website, which is heather garber.com, where there are blogs and podcasts and all sorts of resources to support you on your way.
And finally, you might like to direct message me to have a half hour chat, see if I can serve you in any way to help you become more invincible to negativity and more open and receiving of true love. This is the real cool part of our work. Thank you for being here today and for listening, and we'll meet again on the next episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life.
Hello, my name's Heather Garbutt and I'm a love and relationship coach specializing in calling in the one and I've been publishing a series of lives, which are called Desire, and they are the step-by-step guide to calling in true romantic love.
You can find me in the calling in the one official coach led group in Europe and beyond on Facebook, or you can DM me whichever you like, if you want to go further. Thank you. So today we're gonna look at the patterns in love, which actually get in the way of you attracting true, committed, romantic love.
We need to do this so that you can really see how you've been thinking, feeling and behaving in relationship that contributes towards unsuccessful relationships, a dearth of relationships or relationships you want to get out of.
Have you been choosing unavailable partners?
This could be because they're living a long way away. They're involved with somebody else. They're not really wanting to be in a relationship, they're not ready to be in a relationship, or they don't have the right circumstances to be in a relationship.
Ask yourself seriously, what have these patterns been for you?
Are you having the same relationship over and over again feeling unsatisfied and like your needs aren't getting met?
Your feelings aren't getting really truly addressed. That some way you have to dim yourself down or reduce your needs in order to be there at all. In a way, I think some of us, um, I've been there myself, try to fit our huge personalities and talents and gifts and hearts into relationships that just aren't big enough to contain them. It's like wearing shoes that are too small. They pinch, they hurt, and they make life really, really uncomfortable and painful.
So are you choosing men who don't really suit your character?
Maybe men who have a neediness and are quite childlike rather than somebody who can really meet you, support you and provide with you, you know, create this relationship together. It could even be that you choose exploitative relationships. They may look different each time that you go into them, but they may turn out to be the same. So where that person is getting more out of the relationship than you. And that can be in all those cliched forms of emotional, spiritual, practical, financial, getting their needs met before you.
Are you a people pleaser?
Are you a caretaker?
It's really easy for women in our culture to be that way, but are you doing that too much?
This is at your cost, it may be that you are so hurt from past relationships that you choose to be alone. So this piece is our s for desire in desire, s for self-development. Tracing these patterns and clearing up the past is the self-development that's needed. Once you've got that beautiful intention set for your true love and your vision really clear, these are the pieces that you, the universe will present to you to address because they're the pieces that keep you small, safe and hidden. They may do so in business, in your career and in your personal relationships.
So let's look at the clearing up and of the past in some concrete ways. It may be that you've got old resentments, you've stayed bitter in resentment, resentful about things that have gone on in your past. It makes you feel passive. It makes you feel powerless. It gives the other people or persons or the situation the power and not you. Some important questions to ask yourself here without shame or blame because there will be really good reasons for this.
Is there a truth you're not saying?
Is there a way you can see that you've given your power away?
Are you being passive through fear and shame?
Are there any old agreements you've made that could be getting in the way of true love?
You know, the resentments piece are that those resentments are the things that hold you back and make you feel less able to have a healthy relationship because they make you feel like you can't really do it without losing out somewhere.
And these old agreements can tie into that. It can be like, I never can really get what I want, so I'm not going to try. That's an agreement you made to yourself. Or it could be that you've got an emotional attachment to somebody in the past. You know, you've said something like, I'll never love anybody but you. And in the moment when you were 14 or 17 or 19 or 25, 35, you meant it. And on a a soul level, you made that commitment and it's blocking you.
You need to let go of that - release it, and make a new agreement with yourself. I think sometimes this is particularly difficult if you've been married and you really meant your vows when you said them. I know that was a difficult thing for me and it's taken a long time to allow myself to see that the vows we made on our wedding day were really good and wholesome, but they weren't ones that we could keep. So you can't really be allied with those now, but these are the sort of emotional allegiances we hold with people from our past that can hold us back from really going into true love. Now
And also at this point, it's important to let go of any sort of mementos we have of those relationships. Like, stop wearing your wedding ring or your engagement ring. Put it somewhere safe. Yeah, make it into another piece of jewelry that you can enjoy better or give away to somebody else or sell it for the gold if that's what floats your boat, you know, whatever gives you something rather than holds you back and makes space in your life for a relationship.
Have you really got time to have a relationship? You need a couple of evenings a week at least
So the next piece we look at, is there anything currently toxic in your life?
Anything that's draining. You shouldn't have anything in your life if you can possibly help it that isn't useful to you or radiant. You know, it's like what somebody or something you can warm your hands on and build. A friend of mine said, you know, assess your relationships in terms of if they're a drain or a radiator. If they're draining your energy, let go of them. If they're giving you energy and warmth, really hold onto them.
The draining is quite easy to identify, where do you feel you're giving more than you're getting?
Where do you feel obliged to be?
Are you the one always reaching out?
Do you somehow feel guilty or ashamed? A pulling on your heartstrings.
Are you taking too much responsibility for the other person?
Are you mothering them in some way?
And it can be any kind of relationship, not just romantic ones. It can be taking on too much responsibility at work or in friendships. Can be the people pleaser side of you who feels you've got to look after everybody else before yourself.
I'm asking you now to draw a boundary and step back. You don't have to be nasty to that person. Just withdraw and slightly disinvest to come back and focus on you. Begin to love yourself as you would wish to be loved. So that's in considering your feelings and your needs, your heart's desires, your ambitions, holding yourself gently and firmly to commitments to yourself before other people. The the cliche is the oxygen mask in the plane. They always say put it on yourself before you look after anybody else because otherwise nobody's going to breathe. And you really need to breathe to be your full self and to give your gifts in relationship or in the world.
How you care for yourself will be mirrored in how other people care for you. So if you are dismissive of your feelings and needs, they will be too. Anybody who would like to pay attention to your feelings and needs, you'll have, how can I say, sort of negative reactions to either you won't notice or you'll subtly push them away, or you'll sort of say, oh, no, no, no, I couldn't possibly, you know? Um, yeah. So watch out for that. Watch out for that. It's really hard for somebody to love you more than you do.
Now, these patterns didn't just happen on their own, they happened through our life events. Sometimes really early ones where there is emotional trauma or physical trauma. The emotional trauma is where you didn't get looked after the way you wished. You weren't emotionally listened to, you weren't comforted and held and supported. Your ambitions and desires weren't supported. You didn't have the practical support. The things provided to you that would really enable you to flourish as YOU. So you've learned to dim yourself down, not ask for too much, not expect much. Keep yourself safe so you don't get disappointed.
That's the small T trauma, the big T traumas of where you've been abandoned. Like if your mother or father left you or died, that's a big trauma. If you were uprooted and moved to a different country or even a different area within the same town, if you lost connection with all your friends, that's a big Emotional trauma. If there was any illness in your family for you or anybody around you or, uh, loss of home or loss of income, that's big trauma and all of those things will affect the way you choose to live your life because will naturally be self-protective.
We won't want to take the risks of loss or pain again, and it's these things that I'm going to address next time where the roots of these traumas are in our childhoods and what we can do about them. It's not a done deal. It really isn't. We can shift our identities from living from that childhood fear and anxious attachments or avoidant attachments, and really come through to be secure in ourselves and secure in our relationships with others and find true romantic love.
It's my heart's desire that each of you watching this before the end of 2023 will have true committed romantic love.
Hi, I'm Heather Garbutt and I'm a calling in the One Love and Relationship Coach, and I'm here today to give you the roadmap to find true, committed romantic love.
Last week we went through the initials of desire, starting with the letter D, and that was really defining what you want in a relationship. All of the beautiful qualities that you would like to have for yourself and in that quality relationship, somebody who shares your values, who appreciates you, who can communicate with you is your equal in every way and many more. However you define that for yourself. Today we're going to do letter E, which is about being exact in really naming what you want, creating an intention for what you want.
So why would we need to do that?
It's really important to be clear for yourself that you have an image of exactly what you want and that you create an intention with a timeline by which you're going to have achieved that. It's a soul level promise to yourself. It's a heart level promise to yourself, and once you've made it, even if you change your mind with this part of yourself, the the rest of you will be walking towards that and creating opportunities in the world for you to fulfill the that desire.
So being exact and elucidating, setting an intention, and an intention is more than an affirmation. It's a real clear goal on that deep level, and we write it as if from the future. So for me, if I were single and looking for love, I would write something like It's March, 2024, and I am in the best relationship of my life with the man who fulfills my needs on every level and really enjoys doing so. That could be just something that simple and we move from there. Having that as your north star to create a rich, intense vision of that. And this is so you have the feeling level through your imagination and through embodied feeling of what that would be like for you.
So for me, if I was to think into that space, close my eyes and go within, I imagine myself today in a time sitting with my beloved holding hands at a a table, looking out at a beautiful view from an Italian terrace. We have a lovely glass of wine. White sparkling wine in front of us, and we are savouring each other, the warm air and the view. I can feel the warmth of his skin as we are palm to palm. I can feel the warmth of his heart and I can see the sparkle in his eyes. So if you have an image that tells you you've reached your goal, you've fulfilled upon your intention, what would it be?
You can find me on heather gar.com or in my Facebook group calling in the one official coach led group for Europe and beyond. Please feel free to approach us there, and if you want some help with a vision, I've got one ready made that is about the feeling of being loved, and I'd be very happy to share that with you.
Good morning. My name's Heather Garbutt and I'm a love and relationship coach.
This morning I'm here to talk to you about rewriting your love story. I'm following the path of my workshop, which is named Desire.
Today we're starting with the letter D, and that is really defining what you want in your love life with your partner and how you want to feel in your yourself.
So let's just close our eyes for a moment and go in deep, take some lovely deep breaths, and as you breathe in, feel that beautiful breath. Make your heart glow, and as you breathe out, feel that glow radiate through your body.
And again, just feel yourself soften. And if there's any points of tension in your body, just pour a bit of that glow to that place and feel the glow, that warm, loving light flow all the way down to your hips and a greater intensity all the way down your legs so you can feel it in the soles of your feet and the tips of your toes. And feel your spine rising out of your pelvis. Strong and sinuous really free moving. And let your shoulder blades drop down your spine and your shoulders drop away from your ears. Your arms full of this beautiful glowing light are all the way to your fingertips and the palms. And feel the top of your scalp. Those little muscles soften as the light reaches them. Feel your brow soften, your eyes soft, your cheeks relaxed. Your tongue loosen your mouth, your jaw soft and your throat opening so that you can really connect your breath and your voice with your heart. And from here we'll look for your true heart's desire.
What are the qualities that you want to have in a relationship?
Let's look first at some of the bedrock ones. Trust, respect, security and safety. True, deep, committed, reciprocal love, equality, kindness. And now let's think about some others which you might like for yourself. Do you want good sexual attraction, emotional intelligence, passion, a feeling of adventure, profound support, feeling of calmness. And a feeling of home in your relationship it could be someone who loves traveling, someone who loves animals. Having the love me feeling like I love my dog. Really feel deeply and let yourself be there for a moment with somebody who is being all of those things with you. When you're ready, open your eyes.
Write down what it was that you really liked. You really want. Take a couple of minutes to do that. The importance of this defining is so that your whole brain and nervous system can begin to live into this so that you stop living from old patterns and old stories. So you start to live into possibility of a new kind of love that's fresh for you, that's not coloured by your past, that brings you joy, brings you calm, brings you comfort and pleasure that feeds your soul, feeds your body, feeds your mind, and above all feeds your heart.
We really start to define these things. It really gets us living there and setting an intention that that is how things are going to be because we are being in that now and our brain starts to live differently, starts to think differently. You'll notice as a sort of tennis match goes on, as you go through this work between your old beliefs and your old patterns and ways of thinking and the new ones, which are much more about possibility and hope, and feeling your own wisdom, your own intuition, and growing your own discernment to see who is right for you.
You'll be able to begin measuring anybody that you meet against these criteria. And if they don't fit you don't entertain dating them at all. You do your work before you even get into a room with them to see who they are and what they want and if it matches your heart's desire.
Do take a minute and share this with us and visit us on our Facebook page. You can connect with me personally on my email, heather@heathergarbutt.com. If you can think of someone who will benefit from listening to this podcast, please do share it with them. If you have any feedback on how I can improve it, please do reach out to me as I'm always keen to learn more.
Thank you so much again for listening, and we'll meet again on the next episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life.
Curtis Harren is the unconditional men. As a men, he grew up, knowing he didnt relate to the contemporary definition of a man, he didnt relate to the machismo, the bravado or the obtaining results at all cost. It took him a failed marriage, a failed business and ultimate failure as a dad to get the wake up call. And all of this happened in a 9 months span. Curtis learned on his healing journey all about trauma and the programming conditions placed on man.
https://www.ceocopilot.com/
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Joy is a serial entrepreneur and motivational speaker who tragically lost her son, Darien, to stillbirth nearly 20 years ago. Joy is the author of Missed Baby Steps https://www.missedbabysteps.com/
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Darla Beam - Part 3
Darla beam takes people on deep spiritual journeys to re-connect with their soul, align with their inherent nature, and create their life inside and out into the world from that place. Today we are focusing on toxic relationship, how they facilitate our growth spiritually and emotionally by raising our consciousness to new heights.
Darla Beam is a Certified CoActive and Professional Coach, Darla has successfully helped hundreds achieve the next level of their life journey. What began in 2010with her consciously leaving her long career in corporate America to manifest her passion to help others, quickly grew into her coaching business Darla Beam Coaching. Today, she is blessed to help people all over the world through her Workshops, Masterminds, Speaking Engagements, and 1:1 Coaching.
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Darla Beam - Part 2
We talk about relationship containers, how they facilitate the growth and beauty of relationship and enhance our lives. We look at this in the context of the broader arc of our lives, what we’re here to do and who we are here to be.
I am here with Darla Beam who As a Certified CoActive and Professional Coach, Darla has successfully helped hundreds achieve the next level of their life journey. What began in 2010 with her consciously leaving her long career in corporate America to manifest her passion to help others, quickly grew into her coaching business Darla Beam Coaching. Today, she is blessed to help people all over the world through her Workshops, Masterminds, Speaking Engagements, and 1:1 Coaching. She takes people on deep spiritual journeys to re-connect with their soul, align with their inherent nature, and create their life inside and out into the world from that place.
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
I am here with Darla Beam who As a Certified CoActive and Professional Coach, Darla has successfully helped hundreds achieve the next level of their life journey. What began in 2010with her consciously leaving her long career in corporate America to manifest her passion to help others, quickly grew into her coaching business Darla Beam Coaching. Today, she is blessed to help people all over the world through her Workshops, Masterminds, Speaking Engagements, and 1:1 Coaching.
She takes people on deep spiritual journeys to re-connect with their soul, align with their inherent nature, and create their life inside and out into the world from that place.
Today we are focusing on dating as part of our personal fulfilment, spiritual journey and growth.
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
The importance of going slowly in the beginning of a new relationship
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
How to choose the right person to fall in love with and who to avoid
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Questions to ask yourself before you make your relationship official.
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
In this episode I share my journey of becoming a podcaster.
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Eva Andriessen talks about having a healthy romantic relationship.
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
In this episode, Monica Douglas-Clark, founder of Wild Wisdom Wellness, will talk to us about clearing the way for love.
Monica Douglas-Clark - https://www.thewildwisdom.org/
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Finding True Love in The Most Unexpected of Places with Deb Macmillan
Connect with Deb Macmillan https://uk.linkedin.com/in/debmacmillansuccesscoach
https://www.debmacmillan.co.uk/
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
Alison March talks about how she left a toxic situation to rediscover her creativity and capabilities and found The Group Hug Community.
Connect with Alison March https://uk.linkedin.com/in/alison-march-a2312b85
The Group Hug https://www.thegrouphug.com/
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
In this episode, we look at the most important concept in Fearless Dating - Love Yourself with Arti Josh.
Arti Joshi describes her own journey to confidence and enjoyment of dating and lights a path for you to follow.
Connect with Arti Josh https://iamarti.co.uk/
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
In this episode, I talk to Michele Rosenthal to look at the neuroscience behind relationship beliefs and ways to create breakthroughs.
Connect with Michele Rosenthal https://www.mytraumacoach.com/
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
In this episode, we look at how you can find true love with "Calling in the One" with Helen Isenhour
Helen Isenhour describes the behaviour, beliefs and boundary transgressions that will warn you that this could be an abusive relationship
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
In this episode, we look at the early warning signs of abusive relationship with Helen Isenhour.
Helen Isenhour describes the behaviour, beliefs and boundary transgressions that will warn you that this could be an abusive relationship
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
In this episode, we look at the Relationship Wheel with Katrin Dürkoop.
http://www.transitiontime.net/
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
In this episode enjoy the next 12 minutes in a short guided meditation to help you care for yourself.
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
How to Find Love After Lockdown
In this episode I speak with Angela Barrett to learn more.
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/ Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
Jen Joyce brings 25 years of adult evolution and leadership development expertise to inform her work with couples as they go through separation or divorce. She created award-winning leadership development programs for Bell Labs wherein she was an early pioneer in combining professional individual growth with development of the leadership team, a model now established as a best practice. She has studied with Katherine Woodward Thomas of Conscious Uncoupling fame over the last eight years and is a certified Conscious Uncoupling Coach. Jen merges her practical experience from leadership team development with her deep insights into couple’s relationships to help couples navigate the often-painful process of separation and divorce. Along the way, she helps each individual break through the old patterns that undermined their relationship. Consequently, each client has the support needed to create a more compassionate and courageous divorce process with much less harm to everyone involved AND uncover a more emotionally aware and healthy self that can create the future they envision. Clients say they most appreciate the way she “gently and lovingly does not accept anything less than digging deep.” They say that she brings a “combination of experience, insight, and deep understanding, but also a no-nonsense strength that really comes across in the way she communicates. “
Connect with Jen Joyce
Website - www.jenjoyce.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/JoyceCoaching/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jen_joyce_coaching/
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
Katherine Woodward Thomas - https://katherinewoodwardthomas.com/
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com
Kay is the founder of Midlife Strategies an award-winning International Speaker and enthusiastic author. She is an acknowledged expert guiding women to find their mojo, through the Midlife Squeeze. Kay’s thousands of clients over the past fifteen years, love her straight-talking, no-nonsense, practical holistic help to simplify the second stage of life. In 2015 after a 30-year luxury Spanish lifestyle, Kay and her husband decided to have 'no nest’. The couple moved to a two-roomed, tin-roof house near a pristine beach in Zanzibar, Tanzania. Kay’s books include: * ‘The Art of Midlife Stress Busting - Seven Steps to Declutter Your Mind Without Pills or Potions’ * ‘How to Clean Your Home Organically - De-Stress Your Surroundings’ * ‘Tips and Tricks For Stress Free Downsizing - A Step by Step Guide to Moving On’
Co-author of the six kindle books in the ‘Quick Fix For’ series, and a contributing author to ‘Hot Women Rock’ and ‘A Journey of Riches’. Today, Kay lives a simple life next to a beach in Mallorca, Spain. You can find Kay here: www.KayNewton.com
Relationship questions for Heather 1. How a Yorkshire lass ended up living in Mallorca, Spain 2. Story of how Kay met her husband in a strange place 3. What made her choose Mallorca to be a home? 4. Was Kay a good mum? 5. How did you cope with an empty nest? 6. Her husband suffered from bouts of depression how did they cope with this? 7. Have there been other times when Kay thought of ending the relationship? 8. What do you think has kept you together? 9. Do you still love your husband? 10. How to keep a long term marriage going at this stage in life?
This is part three of a three part series. Today Helen and I are going to take a much closer look at the patterns that are evident in these relationships and the deep effects on those who are victims.
Helen Isenhour hails from Australia, and has worked with vulnerable young people, families and communities for over twenty seven years.
Helen is a qualified Social Worker, Counsellor, and a trained Mediator, and has worked with many groups of people including: adults with disabilities; children and young people in Out of Home Care; women and children experiencing domestic violence; perpetrators of violence and families experiencing separation. Helen currently works in the area of mental health and has a passion for empowering people in their lives and relationships.
Part 1 WHAT DOES A POWER AND CONTROL RELATIONSHIP LOOK LIKE?
**Part 2: THE MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL RELATIONSHIPS
Part 3: THE CYCLE OF POWER AND CONTROL AND HOW IT AFFECTS VICTIMS AND CHILDREN**
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
This is part two of a three part series. Today Helen and I are going to get to the bottom of the facts about power and control in intimate relationships – there is a lot of talk out there and it can get confusing – so let’s try and clear up some understandings and maybe misconceptions.
Helen Isenhour hails from Australia, and has worked with vulnerable young people, families and communities for over twenty seven years.
Helen is a qualified Social Worker, Counsellor, and a trained Mediator, and has worked with many groups of people including: adults with disabilities; children and young people in Out of Home Care; women and children experiencing domestic violence; perpetrators of violence and families experiencing separation. Helen currently works in the area of mental health and has a passion for empowering people in their lives and relationships.
Part 1 WHAT DOES A POWER AND CONTROL RELATIONSHIP LOOK LIKE?
**Part 2: THE MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL RELATIONSHIPS
Part 3: THE CYCLE OF POWER AND CONTROL AND HOW IT AFFECTS VICTIMS AND CHILDREN**
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
There are many types of toxic relationships that can deeply affect our sense of self – a relationship underpinned by power and control is one type of these toxic relationships.
We will be looking at power and control relationships as part of a three part series, and Helen Isenhour is here with me today to help us untangle these extremely toxic power and control relationships, and assist us to understand the dynamics and what we can do if we find ourselves in one of these relationships.
Helen Isenhour hails from Australia, and has worked with vulnerable young people, families and communities for over twenty seven years.
Helen is a qualified Social Worker, Counsellor, and a trained Mediator, and has worked with many groups of people including: adults with disabilities; children and young people in Out of Home Care; women and children experiencing domestic violence; perpetrators of violence and families experiencing separation. Helen currently works in the area of mental health and has a passion for empowering people in their lives and relationships.
Part 1 WHAT DOES A POWER AND CONTROL RELATIONSHIP LOOK LIKE?
**Part 2: THE MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL RELATIONSHIPS
Part 3: THE CYCLE OF POWER AND CONTROL AND HOW IT AFFECTS VICTIMS AND CHILDREN**
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
In this episode Tasha Chen interviews me.
Tasha Chen - https://tashachen.com/
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Heather and Angela share their delight in working with women who have been disappointed in relationships using the amazing Calling In The One coaching program. They explain how it works, share some success stories, how it worked in their own lives and what they really love about the work.
Angela Barrett - https://www.relationshipinsight.com.au/
Heather Garbutt - https://heathergarbutt.com/
This episode is produced by Podcast Publishing
Welcome to Revolutionise Your Love Life. In this series, we explore love relationships and share with your words of wisdom from experts from around the globe.
I'm your host, Heather Garbutt.
Website: https://heathergarbutt.com/
Email: heather@heathergarbutt.com