DATE YOUR WIFE: Recent Episodes
WARRIOR EMPIRE
Co-hosts Garrett J White and Danielle K White share in this weekly podcast as a powerhouse husband and wife duo why date nights have become non-negotiable in their life. Garrett is the founder of Wake Up Warrior, a program for married businessmen to live the Warrior’s Way towards having a life of having it all, and Danielle is the founder of NBR hair extension techniques through DKW Styling Salon. They will share how they have created success in every aspect of their lives after being willing to rebuild and heal from disconnection, and it all starts with weekly date nights.
If this conversation resonated with you, don't let it stop here.
The strongest marriages aren't built by accident—they're built intentionally.
The Date Your Wife Experience is a live event designed for couples who want to reconnect, communicate honestly, deepen intimacy, and create a marriage that continues to grow through every season of life.
Whether you're thriving or simply trying to find your way back to each other, this experience will give you practical tools and real conversations to strengthen your relationship.
👉 Reserve your spot today: https://dateyourwife.com/live
Because great marriages don't happen by chance.
They happen on purpose.
------------------------------ What happens when you're raising children, building a business, and trying to stay connected in your marriage?
In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White explore the tension many entrepreneurial couples experience as work, parenting, and daily responsibilities begin to replace emotional connection.
Together they discuss:
- Marriage and entrepreneurship
- Parenting young children
- Emotional intimacy
- Feeling like roommates instead of spouses
- Communication during stressful seasons
- Balancing business and family
- Reconnecting as a couple
- Long-term relationship growth
This episode is an honest conversation about what it takes to intentionally protect your marriage while building a full life together.
Because spending time together isn't the same as truly connecting.
How often are you talking to your spouse…
…and how often are you talking to the version of them you created years ago?
In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White unpack one of the biggest relationship traps couples fall into: living inside old stories instead of seeing the person standing in front of you today.
What begins as a conversation about one of Garrett's viral marriage carousels quickly becomes a deeper discussion about communication, emotional triggers, respect, family conditioning, long-term attraction, and why so many couples unknowingly sabotage connection.
Inside this episode:
- Why couples stop truly seeing each other
- The stories we carry from years of marriage
- How family patterns shape relationship expectations
- The difference between reacting and responding
- Why emotional triggers create distance
- Communication that builds trust instead of resentment
- Long-term attraction after years together
- Why date nights alone don't fix disconnection
- Building a marriage based on today's reality—not yesterday's assumptions
One of the biggest takeaways:
You don't have a marriage problem.
You may have a story problem.
Because when you continue relating to an old version of your spouse, you stop experiencing the person they've become.
After more than 25 years together, Garrett and Danielle continue to share the conversations that most couples avoid—but desperately need.
If you're dating, engaged, married, or rebuilding your relationship, this episode will challenge the way you communicate and reconnect.
What slowly pulls two people apart in marriage?
It's usually not one catastrophic moment.
It's the small moments of disconnection that go unspoken.
In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White explore the hidden emotional dynamics that shape long-term relationships, beginning with a candid conversation about Danielle's audiobook, God Is My Ghostwriter.
Together they discuss:
- Emotional connection
- Vulnerability
- Honesty in marriage
- Attraction and intimacy
- Roommate relationships
- Emotional leadership
- Communication
- Long-term relationship growth
- Marriage after decades together
This episode offers an honest look at what it takes to continue choosing each other after 25 years of marriage.
Because healthy marriages aren't built on perfection.
They're built on truth.
After nearly a decade of running the Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett White (founder of Wake Up Warrior) and his wife Danielle launch something new: The Date Your Wife Experience, a live, faith-centered event for married couples. In this inaugural episode, Garrett and Danielle get honest about the version of their marriage most people never saw — 23 years together, two rising companies, five kids, and a marriage that looked perfect on paper while they quietly lost connection with each other. They walk through the four stages every marriage moves through (Survival, Success, Performance, and Covenant) and the choice that changed everything: putting God back at the center of their relationship. Listeners also hear unscripted, in-the-moment testimonials from couples in the Wake Up Warrior community — including Jake & Mackenzie, Dave & Angie, and Stephen & Laurie — on what actually shifted in their marriages. This is not a coaching call and not a therapy session. It's an honest look at where your marriage really is, and an invitation to bring faith into the center of it. JOIN LIVE: This is part one of a two-part series. The Date Your Wife Experience runs live and free every Thursday night at 6PM Eastern — bring your spouse, or come solo. www.dateyourwife.com/live
For more than eight years, Garrett and Danielle White have openly shared the realities of marriage—the wins, the struggles, the arguments, the breakthroughs, and everything in between.
Now they're bringing those conversations into a live experience.
THE DATE YOUR WIFE EXPERIENCE
The Date Your Wife Experience is designed for couples who want more than simply staying together. It's for couples who want to reconnect, communicate honestly, deepen intimacy, and continue growing together through every season of life.
This experience explores:
- Communication
- Intimacy
- Conflict Resolution
- Emotional Connection
- Marriage Growth
- Family Leadership
- Personal Responsibility
- Building a Lasting Relationship
Whether you're thriving or simply trying to reconnect, this experience provides a practical environment to strengthen the foundation of your marriage alongside other couples committed to growth.
Because the strongest marriages aren't the ones without conflict.
They're the ones that never stop choosing each other.
Why do men stop pursuing their wives?
Why do women stop feeling desired?
And why do so many marriages slowly drift apart even when both people still love each other?
In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White unpack one of the most overlooked dynamics in long-term relationships:
The loss of pursuit.
What begins as a conversation around attraction and intimacy quickly expands into a deeper discussion about rejection, emotional safety, masculine leadership, feminine desire, communication, and connection after decades together.
Topics include:
- Pursuit in marriage
- Rejection and emotional withdrawal
- Intimacy and attraction
- Long-term relationship dynamics
- Masculine and feminine differences
- Communication breakdowns
- Marriage after 20+ years
- Rebuilding connection
- Emotional intimacy
- Relationship growth
This is not a conversation about blame.
It's a conversation about understanding.
Because often the problem isn't the relationship.
It's the slow disconnection happening inside of it.
If you've ever felt unwanted, misunderstood, disconnected, frustrated, or uncertain inside your marriage, this episode will resonate.
Why do men stop pursuing their wives?
And why do women often feel like they aren't being pursued enough?
In this candid episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White unpack the emotional dynamics behind intimacy, rejection, attraction, and communication inside a long-term marriage.
What begins as a discussion about sex quickly becomes a deeper exploration of:
- Pursuit
- Rejection
- Desire
- Emotional connection
- Masculine and feminine perspectives
- Testosterone and attraction
- Communication inside marriage
- The stories couples tell themselves about each other
After more than 25 years together, Garrett and Danielle share the realities of navigating intimacy through different seasons of life, growth, business, parenting, and personal transformation.
This episode isn't about techniques.
It's about understanding.
Because often the problem isn't what your spouse is doing.
The problem is the meaning you're attaching to it.
If you've ever felt rejected, misunderstood, unwanted, pressured, disconnected, or confused in a relationship, this conversation will resonate.
After a six-month break, the Date Your Wife Podcast is back.
And we came back swinging.
In this episode, Garrett and Danielle White unpack one of the biggest challenges facing modern marriages:
How do two people continue growing together when they're constantly changing?
What starts as a conversation about social media drama quickly turns into a raw discussion about purpose, mentorship, attraction, sexuality, resentment, production, menopause, emotional narratives, and why so many couples slowly drift apart over time.
Inside this episode:
- Why people attack purpose when they lose their own
- How victim mentalities spread in business, church, and marriage
- The hidden challenges of staying connected through decades of growth
- Why attraction changes over time
- The truth about masculine production and confidence
- What happens when one spouse stops growing
- The emotional stories men and women create about each other
- Why so many marriages become roommate relationships
- The conversation nobody wants to have about sex in long-term relationships
- How assumptions silently damage intimacy
- The pressure men feel around production and provision
- The pressure women feel around connection and emotional safety
- Why modern marriage is harder than most people admit
This isn't therapy.
This isn't relationship theory.
It's two people with 25 years of marriage, business, parenting, wins, losses, growth, mistakes, and lessons sharing what they've learned the hard way.
If you've ever found yourself asking:
- Why does marriage feel different than it used to?
- Why does attraction shift over time?
- Why do couples stop communicating?
- How do you stay connected while continuing to grow individually?
This episode is for you.
Because the truth is:
Marriage isn't hard because people change.
Marriage is hard because people change... and expect their partner not to.
📘 Danielle White's Book: God Is My Ghostwriter Available now on Amazon.
Subscribe for more conversations about marriage, family, intimacy, entrepreneurship, parenting, polarity, personal growth, and building a life together.
*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-695fd464-8d38-8333-8822-89792dd022b1-2" data-turn-id-container= "request-695fd464-8d38-8333-8822-89792dd022b1-2" data-testid= "conversation-turn-82" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn= "assistant"> After a five-month break, the Date Your Wife Podcast is back.
And a lot has changed.
Over the past year, Garrett and Danielle moved across the country, rebuilt their team, launched a new book, became grandparents, left a home filled with mold, and unexpectedly found themselves living condo life in Miami.
What looked like a simple move turned into a complete reset.
In this episode, Garrett and Danielle pull back the curtain on:
- Why they left their previous home
- The unexpected realities of moving to Miami
- Trading a large family home for high-rise condo living
- Raising kids in close quarters
- Learning boundaries, discipline, and adaptation
- The challenges of major life transitions
- Becoming grandparents
- Why starting over is harder than most people think
This episode is less about marriage advice and more about the reality of reinvention.
New city.
New environment.
New challenges.
Same mission.
If you've ever relocated, rebuilt your life, navigated a major family transition, or wondered what it's actually like to move to South Florida, you'll relate to this conversation.
📘 Danielle White's new book: God Is My Ghostwriter Available now on Amazon.
Subscribe for more conversations about:
- Marriage
- Family
- Entrepreneurship
- Personal Growth
- Parenting
- Life Transitions
- Building a Life Together
The Date Your Wife Podcast is back. And we're just getting started.
What happens when you hear a voice and know—instantly—this is part of your calling? In this Date Your Wife episode from the Miami studio, Clayton and Dr. Christina share the wild, honest story of how their relationship began with a "tap from God," an unexpected connection, and a mission that turned into marriage.
They talk about what it really takes to rebuild after a painful divorce, set non-negotiable standards, and create trust when the stakes are high—especially with a blended family and real scars from the past. This conversation cuts through romance-movie fluff and gets into the raw truth: boundaries, integrity, safety, presence, and choosing each other when life demands you be a better man and a stronger woman.
In this raw and revealing Date Your Wife episode, Garrett and Danielle White break down the real stages of marriage — build, balance, and rebuild — and how success in business often comes at the cost of connection at home.
They share never-before-told stories of how the early builder phase of entrepreneurship created unseen damage in their relationship, how they lost and rebuilt everything, and the lessons that came from 20+ years together as partners, parents, and entrepreneurs.
💥 Inside this episode:
- The three phases of marriage every entrepreneur couple experiences
- How to rebuild attraction and connection after burnout and resentment
- The balance between sex, business, and family life
- What it takes to lead together as a couple without losing yourself
- The origin of Warrior Married Game — a new system for couples inside Wake Up Warrior
This conversation is a masterclass for couples who want to build an empire without burning down their marriage.
After divorce and heartbreak, Alex and Valeria rebuilt their lives, their family, and their faith. In this episode, Garrett and Danielle White sit down with the couple to talk about how they turned conflict into connection using a simple daily practice they call The Love Thing.
They share what it takes to blend families, rebuild trust, and bring God and structure back into the home. From the "Man in the Arena" event that changed Alex's life to Valeria's journey of surrender and support, this is a raw look at what modern marriage and masculine leadership really require.
In this raw and powerful episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White pull back the curtain on what it really takes to stay connected when life, business, and technology are moving faster than ever.
From the unseen war zones of entrepreneurship to the shifting dynamics of marriage, they explore:
- Why men disconnect under pressure—and how to break that pattern
- The real reason business success often kills intimacy
- How AI is exposing (and replacing) 95% of coaches—and what that means for relationships
- The balance between spiritual growth, sex, and survival in a collapsing system
- And a surprisingly emotional experiment using ChatGPT as a "marriage therapist"
This conversation dives deep into the future of love, leadership, and technology—and why now more than ever, couples must learn to build the stage together rather than perform alone.
🎙️ Watch, listen, and rediscover how to fight for your marriage without losing yourself in the battle.
What happens when two high-performing entrepreneurs find not just love, but a shared mission to transform health, relationships, and purpose?
In this episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White sit down with powerhouse JJ Virgin and Tim for an unforgettable conversation about love, leadership, and legacy.
From their unconventional "Virgin Oregon Experience" wedding (yes, it doubled as a charity mastermind) to their serendipitious Match.com beginning, JJ Virgin and Tim share how deep partnership can elevate both business and intimacy. They open up about learning to trust again after past heartbreaks, merging their strengths as co-founders, and keeping passion alive amid constant travel and high performance.
The conversation dives into balancing masculine and feminine energy, healing trauma, redefining success, and building a spiritual foundation that fuels both business growth and personal connection.
Whether you're an entrepreneur, a power couple, or someone seeking deeper alignment in love and purpose, this episode will inspire you to build, heal, and rise together.
In this raw and unfiltered episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett White open up about navigating massive life shifts from selling their california home and businesses to rebuilding their world in Miami, while keeping thier 22-year marriage alive, passionate, and brutally honest.
The conversation takes a powerful turn as they reflect on the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk and its ripple effect on free speech, family safety, and the courage to speak truth, how resentment builds when honesty is suppressed, and the surprising ways intimacy and language ("quickie" vs "canoodling") can either deepen or distance connection.
WIth humor, candor, and their signature real-talk style, Garrett and Danielle tackle sex, parenting, therapy, triggers, and transformation proving that growth in marriage requires courage, confrontation, and recommitment to each new version of your partner.
Whether you're married, dating, or redifining your relationship, this episode will challenge you to face truth, embrace change, and fight for deeper intimacy.
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In this powerful episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle welcome back powerhouse couple Ray and Jessica Higdon for a raw, unfiltered conversation about marriage, faith, and intimacy.
The first time they joined us, the conversation was so fiery it literally burned out the audio, so we knew we had to do it again. This time, the Higdons dive even deeper: from their unlikely first meeting to weathering financial collapse, marital drift, and identity crises, to finding restoration through faith and renewed purpose.
Together, we unpack:
- The seven year "itch" every marriage faces and how to grow through it.
- Why communication breakdowns can masquerade as criticism and rejection.
- How faith transformed their relationship and reignited Ray's joy.
- The unspoken dynamics of sex, stress, and intimacy in long-term partnerships.
- The crucial role of women seeing potential in their men before they see it themselves.
This episode is brutally honest, funny, and packed with wisdom for couples navigating the messy, beautiful realities of marriage, business, and family life.
What happens when love moves beyond gifts, status, and transactional expectations with unconditonal connection?
In this powerful episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle White sit down with Jarek and Jessica share how they built trust, learned to communicate through conflict, and redefined love on their own terms. Together, the couples dive deep into the challenges of transactional dynamics in relationships, why presence matters more than material things, and how to break free from performance-driven love to experience true intimacy.
Packed with real stories, emotional breakthroughs, and practical wisdom, this episode is a must-listen for couples who want mroe than surface-level connection.
Tune in for conversations on marriage, love, family, blended households, relationship growth, presence, trust, vulnerability, and building a lasting partnership.
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Date Your Wife Podcast
In this powerful episode of The Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett and Danielle sit down with Travis Wallace and Sofia Perez, a dynamic couple whose story bridges sports, fitness, love, and entrepreneurship. From their early days as a college coach and tennis player who barely spoke, to building a thriving business and life together in Miami, Travis and Sofia share how discipline, sacrifice, and faith shaped both their relationships and their careers.
Travis, a former professional basketball player turned NBA trainer, opens up about the grind of building success from scratch and the mental shift required to scale beyond individual performance.
Sofia, a former Costa Rican national tennis player, reveals how rediscovering her passion after injury and refusing to be swept up in Miami's party culture, helped her align with a bigger purpose. Together, they explore the realities of building as a couple: defining roles, balancing obsession with presence, and staying rooted in connection despite the lure of comparison and ambition.
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The Date Your Wife Podcast
In this candid throwback episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett get brutally honest about marriage, sex, faith, and messy reality of raising five kids while running multiple businesses. Recorded during their early days in Miami, the conversation dives into the clashes and breakthroughs that every couple can relate to from explosive arguments over laundry baskets to the deeper truth of what it takes to feel seen, appreciated, and connected in a long-term relationship.
With humor, raw vulnerability, and zero filter, they unpack the "easy button" for men, why women hold back, and how resentment, timing, adn stress can sabotage intimacy. They also share how relocating, embracing new environments, adn setting higher standards for themselves let to a spiritual and relational rebirth.
If you've ever wondered how to rebuild love after conflict, balance individual standards with partnerships, or reignite passion in marriage, this episode will hit home.
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In this raw and unfiltered episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett step away from guests and return to the original heart of the show, candid conversations about marriage, family, and the messy realities of building a life together. With 22 years of marriage, five kids, and multiple businesses behind them, they open up about navigating sick kids on the first day of school, unexpected detours in life, and the constant need to course correct in relationships.
They dive deep into the recurrin struggles couples face: sex, money, intimacy, presence, and words of affirmation, while exposing the hidden reserviors men and women often fail to fill each other. From near-divorce moments in 2016 to rediscovering passion, presence, and consistency, Garrett and Danielle reveal how growth in marriage mirrors growth in business: cycles of breakdown and reinvention are not only normal but necessary.
Whether you're newly married or decades in, this episode offers practical wisdom, hard truths, and vulnerable insights into what it really takes to build a marriage that lasts.
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In one of the most powerful and spirit-led episodes of The Date Your Wife Podcast to date, Garrett and Danielle White sit down with Miami with Douglas and Sonia James for a soul-baring, laughter-filled, and emotionally rich conversation about love, marriage, faith, and everything in between. From a hilarious Ulta Beauty first encounter involving lobster cream gone wrong, to a near-death allergic reaction that led to a first date, Douglas and Sonia's orgin story is as unforgettable as it is divinely orchestrated.
But beyond the laughs lies a deeper, more sobering truth: marriage is hard and this couple doesn't shy away from the raw details of betrayal, postpartum trauma, spiritual disconnection, and the near collapse of their marriage. Through God, vulnerability, and relentless commitment, they've clawed their way back to each other and they're still in it doing the work.
If you've ever wondered if your relationship can survive the storms of entrepreneurship, parenthood, and past pain, this episode will give you hope, healing, and holy fire.
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Date Your Wife Podcast
In this raw and revealing episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle K White and Garrett J White open the doors to their personal evolution as a couple, unpacking the emotional truth behind decades of disconnection, reactivity and the slow but powerful journey back to intamacy.
What starts as a teasing nod to influencer breakups turns into a profound dialogue on marriage, vulnerability, and communication. From emotional rejection and withheld affection to finding breakthroughs in the bedroom and the boardroom, Garrett and Danielle courageously explore how childhood trauma, social media, and unmet needs silently shape modern relationships. You'll hear candid confessions, unexpected humor (including cheetah-print boxers and vibrator mishaps), and hard-won lessons on how to validate your partner while honoring yourself.
Whether you're newly married or 20 years deep, this conversation will challenge what you think you know about love, affection, and what it really takes to keep desire and respect alive.
Grab your free copy or send a copy for your husband or your boyfrined at Warrior Book
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Date Your Wife Podcast
In this powerful episode of The Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett and Danielle sit down with longtime friend and original Warrior, Marty Orefice, and his fiancé Elyse for a deeply moving conversation about love, transformation, and resilience. From a chance meeting at the YMCA to navigating chronic illness, blended family dynamics, and business-building side by side, this is a story of radical honesty, commitment, and unconditional support.
Marty shares how he went from being Warrior’s first-ever client to building a thriving supplement brand (Aspire Nutrition) born out of a father’s relentless quest to help his son recover from autism. Elyse opens up about the unwavering love that carried them both through his Lyme disease battle and how their relationship grew even stronger in the fire.
This episode dives into real talk on communication after divorce, navigating power dynamics in dating and business, rekindling intimacy, and the kind of loyalty that doesn’t quit, no matter what.
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In this raw and inspiring episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, we sit down with Anthony and Tereza Lolli a powerhouse couple who turned mentorship into marriage and love into a movement. Known for being the fittest couple we've ever hosted, they share the vulnerable and powerful evolution of their relationship from a chance meeting in a Manhattan Starbucks to building an empire rooted in respect, passion, and purpose.
We unpack the early stages of their connection, Anthony 100+lb weight loss transformation, and the unconventional ways Tereza motivated lasting change. From business mentorship and friendship to navigating the hard truths of obesity, marriage, and self-respect, their story is a masterclass in building intimacy without shortcuts.
The Lollis also discuss their shared commitment to biohacking, parenting like CEO's and maintaining desire while scaling empires. Plus, they dive into hormone optimization, women's wellness, and how couples can reconnect through shared vision and health.
If you're building a relationship and a legacy, this episode is your blueprint.
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In this electrifying and deeply vulnerable episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, we welcome powerhouse couple Forbes Riley, media mogul and motivational icon, and Joshua Self, former Chippendale turned world champion bodybuilder. What starts as a playful and candid dive into their unconventional love story quickly unfolds into a raw conversation about healing, intimacy, emotional connection, and the difference between sex and making love.
Forbes opens up about overcoming personal loss, navigating identity beyond her public persona, and embracing vulnerability as "Francin". Joshua shares how he helped her rediscover a softer side of herself through consistent ove, presence, and intentional touch. Together, they challenge outdated beliefs about relationships, age gaps, and gender roles.
Expect unfiltered humor, real talk on sex vs intimacy, (hello QQP) spiritual alignment, adn surprisingly tender reflections on what it means to truly be seen and loves for who you are.
Whether you're building a conscious partnership, redefining your feminine/masculine dynamic, or just love a good love story, this episode will leave you rethinking everyrthing.
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Dive into one of the most revealing and transformative episodes of The Date Your Wife Podcast! Garrett and Danielle sit down with reowned intimacy expert Susan Bratton, a true pioneer in teaching couples how to turn their sex lives into spiritual, pleasure-filled connections.
In this episdoe, Susan breaks down the science behind female ejaculation, yes squirting is real and demystifies the often misunderstood "G-Spot" and "U-Spot". She shares her personal journey from frustrated marriage to discovering orgasmic bliss through radical honesty, tantric practices like yoni/lingam massage, and sexual skills that transform intimacy into sacred communion.
💡 You'll experience:
- How to unlock extended orgasms and stay "on the orgasmic peak"
- The difference between spontaneous vs. responsive desire and how to master both
- Easy, teachable techniques like the 5-stroke clitoral method for deeper connection
- Stories of seniors reclaiming "better-than-ever" sex at 63 and beyond
This episode isn't just hot, it's a masterclass in sexual wellness, emotional intimacy, and spiritual union. Whether you're marrid, seeking deeper connection, or curious about elevating your bedroom game, you need to hear Susan's playbook.
In this raw episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett and Danielle White tackle one of the most overlooked issues in modern marriage: staying stuck in relationships that look committed but feel lifeless. With over 23 years of marriage, five kids, and multiple near-divorces behind them, the Whites open up about the gritty, real-world truth of rebuilding connection, chemistry, and purpose in a relationship that's seen it all.
They dive headfirst into the toxic tendency of using religion and scripture as weapons to justify inaction, avoidance, and moral superiority, calling out the hypocrisy in a way that only they can. This conversation isn't just about faith; it's about fruit. Are the people you're listening to actually living lives you'd want? If not, why are you taking advice from them?
Whether you're married, on the edge of divorce or questioning the role fo faith in your relationship, this episode will challenge your assumptions, shake your comfort zone, and deliver a powerful reminder: transformation requires radical truth.
New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe and follow for more!
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In this fiery, unfiltered episode, Garrett and Danielle get brutally honest about what happens when you start rising—haters, betrayal, Reddit threads, and all. From building the Man in the Arena movement to uncovering the dark truths about marriage, sex, and addiction, this episode dives deep into the emotional cost of leveling up.
You’ll hear:
- The real reason people start tearing you down when you win
- Why most marriages fall apart (hint: it’s not just about sex)
- How Danielle found her voice—and why she’s not afraid to use it
- The shocking stats around porn addiction from 1,300 men in a room
- What “duty booty” is… and why it’s killing connection
- And how building events, empires, and a life together is the ultimate test
This one’s raw. This one’s real. And this one might just change how you view your partner, your past, and your purpose.
New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe and follow for more behind-the-scenes truth from the front lines of marriage, business, and becoming who you were born to be.
Want more info on Man In the Arena Tour? Go to https://maninthearenatour.com/
Follow On Instagram for daily value and entertainment @daniellekwhite and @garrettjwhite
In this fiery and emotionally rich episode of the Date Your WIfe podcast, Garrett and Danielle are joined by the magnetic couple Eli and Bryn, whose story starts in an Austi healing studio with a glance, a cheetah-print moment, and a whole lot of unexpected emotional chemistry. What begins as a charged, almost cosmic connection turns into a deep dive into the personal transformations that made their relationship possible.
Eli shares his journey from shallow hookups and playing it safe, to embracing emotional maturity and spiritual celibacy. Bryn opens up about leaving a decade-long marriage to a reclaim her identity, rediscover her sexuality, and rebuild a life rooted in her life. Not just in support of someone else's dream. Together, they unpack what it really means to meet someone after you've done the work.
From breakups and Burning Man to emotional breakthroughs on massage tables, this episode is a wild, honest ride through sex, soul work, and the spiritual realness of modern love. It's a must-listen for couples in transition, single seekers, or anyone curious about what it takes to attract (and keep) a conscious partner.
If you are a man sitting in the game and you're trying to find more tools and more weapons that are practical in nature to not only make more money, but also have it all in life, importantly with your marriage and your partner, your spouse, check out wakeupwarrior.com
In this wildly candid and unfiltered episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, we dive deep into the real and often hilarious dynamics of sexual energy, attraction, and honesty in marriage. Recorded right from our Miami home studio, this episode peels back the layers of what actually goes through a man's mind on a daily basis including how often sex crosses it, what triggers those thoughts, and how men navigate desire in real life.
From testosterone fueled libido confessions to honest discussions about boundaries, gym glances, and challenges of being a beautiful women in a hyper-sexualized world, nothing is off-limits. We also unpack the societal shift in modern marriage roles and how couples are rewriting the rules in real time. Expect laughs, uncomfortable truthsm and surprisingly profound insights about communication, discipline, and staying connected.
Whether your married, dating, or just trying to understand your partner better, this episode is both relatable and refreshingly raw.
Welcome back to the Date Your Wife Podcast! In this episode, it’s just the two of us—real, unfiltered, and sometimes hilarious. We dive deep into the chaos of raising adult kids (who move out and… get dogs they can’t handle!), why having a third dog is a recipe for madness, and the truth about what makes a marriage work (even after 21 years, five kids, and enough pets for a small farm).
What we talk about in this episode:
- Why our daughter got a high-energy Pitbull (and instantly regretted it)
- The wild realities of parenting adult children
- Hilarious and raw pet stories (including guinea pigs, Yorkies, and “mafia dogs”)
- Honest marriage talk—connection, trust, respect, and why real conversations matter
- The rise of loneliness in men, how marriage is evolving, and the biggest mistakes couples make today
- Sex, money, and the not-so-glamorous realities of long-term relationships
- How we keep rewriting the marriage playbook—and why you should too
- The Man in the Arena Tour: Join us for a men’s-only event, May 17th, Salt Lake City, at the Maverick Center! More info at www.maninthearenatour.com
- You’ll also hear us ask ChatGPT some questions you never thought you needed answers to, get real about mom guilt, talk “man titties,” and explain why nobody wants to end up in a B-level marriage.
If you love real, raw conversations about marriage, business, and family life—don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this episode with another couple or friend who needs to hear it!
👇 Drop your wildest “pet parent” stories or your biggest marriage lesson in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!
🔔 Subscribe for more unfiltered episodes every week. Check out past shows for real advice, laughter, and transformation.
In this raw and relatable episode of The Date Your Wife podcast, we sit down with power couple Matt and Whitney Enns to unpack the unfiltered reality of marriage, parenthood, and personal growth. From unexpected pregnancy and spontaneous proposals to healing from explosive arguments and building a life of deep emotional safety, their story is both inspiring and incredibly human.
We dive into the real-life struggles couples face, negotiating household responsibilities, managing unmet expectations, and learning how to fight well. Matt and Whitney share how their journey from dysfunction to deep connection wasn't easy, but absolutely worth it. With honesty and humor, they break down what it means to truly see your partner, how to communicate with clarity and compassion, and why emotional safety is the key to unlocking vulnerablility, especially for women.
You'll laugh, reflect, and maybe cry as they share the turth behind their now-thriving relationship. If you're navigating marriage, parenting, or personal transformation, this episode is a must-listen!
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Your Host
Danielle K White and Garrett J White
In this raw, hilarious, and refreshingly honest episode of Date Your WIfe, Danielle and Garrett welcome Whitney and Kyle Carnahan, parents of five, founders of Superhuman Fathers and Warrior Mom Fitness, and fellow survivors of faith-based sexual conditioning. What starts as a lighthearted exchange about guinea pig tragedies and parenting chaos quickly dives dep into a condid exploration of marriage, intamicy, and unlearning years of shame-based sexual programming.
The Carnahans open up about getting marreid young under Mormon ideals, navigating the awkward (and often confusing) realites of sex with no real guidance, and how lack of sexual education led to decades of disconnection. With wit and vulnerability, they reveal how they finally broke free from the "just do it" mentality and began to build true intimacy emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
You will laugh, gasp, and possibly rethink everything they thought they knew about "normal" marriage dynamics. This episode is a must-hear for couples stuck in routine, individuals raised in purity cultures, and anyone curious about how to shift from obligation to true sexual and emotional connection.
💥 Watch now & subscribe for more real talk! #DateYourWifePodcast
Are you curious how we keep the fire, the freedon, and the family strong? Discover the code that changed everything at Wake Up Warrior Challenge
In this powerful episode of Date Your Wife podcast, we sit down with a dynamic duo whose journey from Philly streets to real estate moguls will leave you speechless. Meet Dhayany and Meet Walker Co-Founders of the Lovepreneur brand, parents, and a couple who turned friendship, adversity, and raw hustle into a love fueled empire.
The episode dives deep into their unconventional love story starting from a chance meeting at a fire hydrant in 2001 to navigating years of friendship, missed timing, and life changing moments that ultimately led to lasting love and business success. From hubcap dates to VIP takeovers, from the streets to spiritual awakenings. Meet opens up about the wake up call that changed his life, and Dhayany reveals what it really takes to love a man through transformation.
Expect laugheter, vulnerability, and hard earned wisdom on relationhips, entrepreneurship, and the power of timing. Whether you're building with your partner or waiting on divine alignment, this episode will inspire and challenge you to love deeper, dream bigger, and trust the process.
💥 Tune it and subscribe for more real talk! #DateYourWifePodcast
P.S. Are you curious how we keep the fire, the freedom, and the family strong? Discover the code that changed everything at
Wake Up Warrior Challenge
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Danielle K White
Garrett J White
What happens when a bold DM turns into an unshakable bond? In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, we sit down with Wes Watson & Angie to explore love, financial freedom, divine connection, and the power of mentorship. From a simple business inquiry to a life-changing relationship, their story is a raw and honest look at self-growth, faith, and purpose-driven partnerships.
🔹Wes's controversial take on success & mindset
🔹How Angie turned mentorship into her personal fulfillment
🔹The deep spiritual bond that keeps them connected
🔹How financial independence empowers relationships
🔹Balancing career, parenting, and self-worth
As Wes & Angie open up about their journey, they reveal that true connection goes beyond attraction. It's about faith, purpose, and unwavering commitment. Plus, Angie shares how mentoring women fuels her energy, and Wes breaks down why he believes in discipline over choice when it comes to love.
💥 Watch now & subscribe for more real talk! #DateYourWifePodcast
P.S. Are you curious how we keep the fire, the freedom, and the family strong? Discover the code that changed everything at
Wake Up Warrior Challenge
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@garrettjwhite
@realweswatsonfit
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#weswatson #angiewatson #powercouple #entrepreneurmindset #selfgrowth #loveandsuccess #financialfreedom #mentorship #faithandlove
What happens when persistence meets destiny? In this electrifying episode on the Date Your Wife Podcast, we welcome power couple OG Boobie Black and Stormy for a raw and unfiltered conversation about love, transformation, and finding "the one" in the most unexpected way. From bold Instagram DM to a life-changing relationship, their journey is one of resilience, deep connection, and personal growth.
Boobie shares his struggles with loneliness despite fame and fortune, while Stormy reveals what truly caught her attention beyond his relentless pursuit. Together, they reflect on the defining moments that led them to each other, the power of emotional and intellectual attraction, and the role of faith in their bond.
If you're looking for an inspiring love story filled with humor, authenticity, and powerful life lessons, this episode is for you! Tune in for a heartfelt discussion on relationships, self-worth, and the magic that happens when the right people come together.
P.S. Are you curious how we keep the fire, the freedom, and the family strong? Discover the code that changed everything at Wake Up Warrior
In this episode of Date Your Wife, we sit down with the power couple from The Real Housewives of Dubai, Caroline Stanbury and Sergio Carrallo. They share their whirlwind romance and how a podcast led to an unexpected love story that defied societal norms and family expectations. From Sergio lying about his age to Caroline's bold declaration of "my future husband" at their first encounter, their journey is anything but conventional.
We dive into their high profile relationship, dealing with public scrutiny, navigating cultural differences, and balancing business with love. Sergio opens up about transitioning from pro soccer to socail media influencer, while Caroline reveals how she handles the haters after years in the public eye.
It's a conversion full of humor, honesty, and surprising revelations!
Tune in to hear how they made it work against all odds.
P.S. Are you curious how we keep the fire, the freedom, and the family strong? Discover the code that changed everything at Wake Up Warrior
In this episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle dive headfirst into their 30-day connection challenge—a mix of intimacy, deep conversations, and the chaos of parenting four kids. From the reality of juggling marriage, business, and kids to the hilarious truths about bedtime habits, this episode is as raw and real as it gets.
They also reflect on their journeys as industry pioneers, with Danielle shaping the world of hair extensions and Garrett leading the charge in men’s coaching. Together, they unpack what it takes to elevate your game, embrace collaboration over competition, and redefine success in both relationships and business.
If you're an entrepreneur balancing love, life, and legacy, or just looking for a brutally honest take on marriage, this episode is for you. Plus—will they survive 28 more days of their challenge? Tune in to find out!
🔗 Listen now & join the convo!
P.S. Are you curious how we keep the fire, the freedom, and the family strong? Discover the code that changed everything at Wake Up Warrior
In this episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle get real about marriage, attraction, and keeping the spark alive—even after years of partnership. They dive into how their relationship has evolved, the role of fitness and confidence in attraction, and the unexpected contract that changed everything (hint: it involves daily sex for 30 days 😳).
From hilarious stories about their kids' unexpected language skills to a deep discussion on why men and women seek attention differently, this episode is packed with raw honesty, humor, and unfiltered truths. Plus, they debate whether men really get a “hall pass” when it comes to fitness, why women post sexy photos online (even when happily married), and how small shifts in communication can completely transform a relationship.
If you’ve ever struggled with feeling unseen in your marriage, wondered about the power of seduction, or just need a good laugh—this one’s for you. 💥
🎧 Tune in now & don’t forget to share!
In this power-packed episode of the Day To Your Wife Podcast, our host sits down with Coach Ben Newman to reveal breakthrough strategies on mastering marriage and balancing a high-powered career with family life.
Discover how intentional communication and prioritizing connection can transform your relationship—even when life gets hectic. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a professional athlete, or simply looking to deepen your connection at home, these actionable tips will help you overcome common challenges like work-life balance, relationship stress, and miscommunication.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
• Proven communication techniques to prevent small issues from escalating
• How to create “present time” routines that reconnect you with your spouse and kids
• Strategies for intentional living and prioritizing what truly matters in your relationship
• Real-life anecdotes and coaching insights for high-performing couples
For more in-depth resources and coaching tips, visit our website: wakeupwarrior.com Follow us on Instagram for daily inspiration: @wakeupwarrior
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more expert insights on building a thriving relationship and life!
In this powerful episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, we dive deep into the realities of relationships, personal transformation, and healing with renowned relationship coach Stefanos Sifandos.
From childhood wounds to high-performance marriage dynamics, Stefanos shares raw insights about why couples struggle to connect, how past trauma shapes relationships, and what it takes to truly break free from toxic cycles. We explore: ✅ The truth about masculine & feminine energy in relationships ✅ How deep personal work transforms love & connection ✅ Why many couples feel stuck—and how to break the cycle ✅ The real reason men struggle with emotional vulnerability ✅ The importance of truth-telling in marriage (even when it’s hard!)
If you’ve ever felt like you’re repeating the same patterns in love or struggling to fully speak your truth, this episode is a must-listen.
🎧 Tune in now and start building the relationship you truly desire!
Love Magnet replays: https://christinehassler.com/lovemagnet/
Learn how to work with Stefano: https://christinehassler.com/queen
In this powerful and deeply personal episode of The Day You Write Podcast, hosts Danielle and Garrett sit down with special guests Danielle and Jennifer—partners in business, life, and love—to unpack their extraordinary journey of self-discovery, resilience, and transformation.
From an unexpected first meeting in Beverly Hills to navigating relationships, motherhood, and societal expectations, Danielle and Jennifer share the raw and emotional story of how they found love in the most unlikely of places. They discuss the challenges of leaving behind a picture-perfect life, facing public scrutiny, and redefining happiness on their own terms.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking the courage to follow their heart, make bold life changes, and embrace the unknown. With themes of personal growth, authenticity, and the power of human connection, Love, Courage & Reinvention is a reminder that true happiness comes from choosing what sets your soul on fire.
🎧 Tune in now for an inspiring conversation about love, intuition, and the journey to finding your true self.
📲 Follow @DateYourWifePodcast on Instagram for exclusive content, behind-the-scenes moments, and more!
In this episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, we’re bringing relationship experts Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman into our Miami living room for a raw and insightful conversation. From a fateful gym encounter to nearly breaking up out of fear, their love story is filled with powerful lessons about vulnerability, commitment, and personal growth.
The Freemans share how authenticity and persistence led to a thriving marriage and how fear can sabotage even the best relationships. We dive into the importance of emotional connection, overcoming limiting beliefs, and why healthy communication is key to lasting love. Whether you're dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode is packed with practical wisdom to help you build a stronger, more intentional relationship.
Tune in for deep insights, candid laughs, and a fresh perspective on love and partnership! 🎙️💍 #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageWisdom #DateYourWife
Join us in Miami for an eye-opening episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast! 🎙️ This week, we welcome Dr. Corey and Jess, experts in breathwork and building meaningful connections. Discover their transformative journey through challenges, trust-building, and the power of conscious breathing to enhance intimacy and personal growth. 💫
👉 Highlights include:
- The unexpected beginnings of their relationship 👫
- How breathwork transformed their lives and connection 🌬️
- Tips for better communication and intimacy in relationships 💞
- The role of vulnerability in thriving partnerships 🌟
🌐 Learn more about breathwork and connect with Corey & Jess: THE HEALING COUPLE 📸 Follow them on Instagram for more insights: @thehealingcouple_
In this transformative episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle explore the intricacies of marriage, family life, and personal evolution amidst their new beginnings in Miami. Reflecting on over two decades of marriage, raising five children, and thriving as entrepreneurs, they candidly share how they’ve navigated challenges, rebuilt trust, and reignited passion in their relationship.
Discover their journey of "rebirthing" both as individuals and as a couple, the pivotal lessons they've learned about standards, and how a shared commitment to growth continues to shape their family dynamic. From embracing Miami’s vibrant cultural energy to discussing the role of faith, resilience, and vulnerability in building a fulfilling partnership, this episode is packed with raw insights, relatable humor, and powerful takeaways for couples everywhere.
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett and Danielle White sit down with Andy and Jacqueline Elliott for an open conversation about the hard truths that sparked major shifts in their lives. The Elliotts share how pushing past comfort zones and confronting the raw realities of ambition, fitness, and success transformed their marriage and personal growth.
Together, they explore what it really takes to build a life that aligns with your deepest values, from holding each other accountable to challenging one another to reach new heights. Their stories offer real insight into how difficult moments can lead to the most powerful breakthroughs, both in your relationship and in your personal journey.
This episode is a reminder that growth doesn’t happen by accident. It’s about showing up, being vulnerable, and doing the hard work to not just be better individually, but as a couple. Tune in to hear how Andy and Jacqueline’s willingness to face discomfort and embrace change reshaped everything they thought they knew about success, love, and what it truly means to thrive together.
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Dr. Matt and Mikala Hubbard dive into the unfiltered realities of marriage, faith, and intimacy. From navigating the early challenges of blending different upbringings to discovering the power of vulnerability, the Hubbards share their journey of building a marriage grounded in truth and intentionality.
Listen as they discuss candid moments and the transformative decision to honor faith-based commitments before marriage. They unpack the role of trust, open communication, and shared vision in fostering intimacy and connection, while tackling taboo topics such as overcoming religious guilt and reclaiming passion within the marital relationship.
Key highlights include:
- How intentional habits like regular date nights can rebuild connection.
- Breaking free from shame-based mindsets and embracing vulnerability.
- The importance of faith and forgiveness in overcoming personal and relational barriers.
Raw, relatable, and inspiring, this episode invites listeners to rethink how they approach love, intimacy, and unity in their marriages.
In this profoundly candid episode, Ben and Kayla share their transformative journey of rebuilding trust through radical relationship honesty. From the heartbreak of multiple betrayals to the hard-fought process of personal growth and reconnection, they reveal how vulnerability and accountability became their greatest tools for healing.
Discover the challenges they faced, including emotional infidelity, toxic patterns, and the fear of starting over. Hear how Kayla reclaimed her identity after leaving the marriage and how Ben confronted his past traumas to change his mindset and behaviors. They discuss therapy's role, self-discovery, and commitment to creating a stronger, more authentic partnership.
Whether navigating your relationship struggles or seeking inspiration, this episode offers raw, relatable insights and actionable lessons on love, forgiveness, and resilience. Please listen to their powerful story and learn how radical honesty can transform even the most fractured relationships.
In this captivating episode, we dive into the extraordinary story of John and Najlah, a couple whose love and determination have defied societal expectations and personal challenges. From their serendipitous nightclub meeting to building a thriving life together, John and Najlah share their secrets to creating a resilient relationship in the face of criticism, age gaps, and cultural differences.
Discover how they’ve navigated public scrutiny, turned personal growth into a cornerstone of their bond, and built successful businesses as a team. With thought-provoking insights, unfiltered honesty, and actionable advice, this episode explores themes of perseverance, love, and the power of unity.
Tune in to hear surprising anecdotes, inspiring lessons on overcoming external negativity, and the importance of self-reflection in fostering lasting connections. Whether you’re seeking relationship advice, entrepreneurial inspiration, or a heartfelt story, this episode has something for everyone.
In this heartfelt episode, Matt and Heather share their raw, transformative journey of healing through sobriety, revealing how love and resilience helped them overcome the challenges of addiction and rediscover a genuine connection. Their story offers a rare look into the effects of addiction on family life, marriage, and personal growth. Heather opens up about how she coped with the unpredictability of Matt’s drinking. At the same time, Matt discusses the pivotal moment that forced him to confront his dependence and begin the journey toward sobriety. Together, they unpack rebuilding trust, reconnecting through vulnerability, and finding joy in the small, meaningful moments that make a relationship thrive.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone who has ever faced hardship in their relationship, struggled with addiction, or simply wants to hear an inspiring story of resilience. Tune in to learn how Matt and Heather’s recovery journey creates a new legacy of love, honesty, and growth for their family.
In this compelling episode of Date Your Wife hosts Danielle and Garrett White sit down with powerhouse couple Chris and Aleyna from Grove Capital to reveal how power couples build empires and stay strong through chaos. Chris and Aleyna share their journey from humble beginnings to business success, detailing the sacrifices, grit, and intense commitment required to thrive together. They dive into the challenges of balancing love and ambition, the resilience needed to overcome setbacks, and their secrets for staying connected while navigating a high-stakes industry. From bold pivots in their business to establishing strong family values, Chris and Aleyna offer a raw, honest look at what it truly takes to build an empire alongside your partner. Please tune in to discover their insights on mindset, mutual accountability, and the surprising daily habits that help them stay grounded and motivated. Whether you're an entrepreneur, in a committed relationship, or simply seeking inspiration, this episode will leave you energized and ready to tackle your journey.
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, we dive deep into one of the most transformative tools in any relationship: radical honesty. After 21 years of marriage, we faced moments that nearly broke us. But we rebuilt a stronger, more authentic connection through raw, unfiltered truth. In this episode, we share the uncomfortable yet powerful conversations that saved our marriage, revealing how honesty can reignite passion and trust in even the most challenging moments.
We also discuss the role of personal growth, the importance of embracing change, and how learning to work with—rather than against—our differences has made us more vital than ever. If you're ready to stop hiding from the truth and start building a deeper, more fulfilling relationship, this episode is for you. Tune in for a candid look at how vulnerability and openness can heal even the deepest wounds.
In this eye-opening episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, hosts Danielle and Garrett White welcome Kyle and Whitney Carnahan for a raw, thought-provoking conversation about how vulnerability, radical honesty, and emotional freedom can reignite passion in marriage. Kyle and Whitney share their journey from sexual disconnection to unlocking a new level of intimacy by breaking through emotional barriers and embracing self-acceptance. They dive deep into topics often left unspoken—like overcoming body image insecurities, exploring sexual freedom without guilt, and how honest communication can transform both physical and emotional connection.
Listeners will gain insights on how to move past routine sex, reignite desire, and build a deeper bond with their partner. Whether you're feeling stuck in your relationship or simply looking to strengthen your connection, this episode offers practical advice and real-life inspiration. Tune in for surprising revelations, humor, and bold advice on transforming your marriage.
📲 Follow Kyle & Whitney Carnahan:
Instagram: @superhumanfathers
Website: www.superhumanfathers.com
In this exciting episode of Date Your Wife, fitness power couple Carter and Alyssa Montgomery join us to share the secrets behind their explosive growth—both in their relationship and business. From competing as bodybuilders to building a successful coaching empire, Carter and Alyssa opened up about their challenges, including personal healing, overcoming trauma, and balancing love, life, and business.
Listeners will get an inside look at:
- How they met in the bodybuilding world and the timing that made their relationship work
- The spiritual and emotional healing that transformed their partnership
- Their strategies for working together as entrepreneurs without losing sight of their relationship
- Hilarious moments in the gym and the behind-the-scenes realities of being a power couple
Packed with humor, insights, and inspiration, this episode is perfect for anyone looking to improve their personal life, relationship, or entrepreneurial journey. Take advantage of Carter and Alyssa's powerful story of growth and transformation!
Have you ever wondered what it takes to manifest your dream life and build a multimillion-dollar business? 🤔💰 In this special solo episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett J. White and Danielle K. White reveal the shocking reason they're selling their $24 million Orange County home and relocating to Miami! 🏠✈️
With complete honesty, they discuss how following their intuition, making uncomfortable decisions, and embracing change has been key to scaling their success. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a couple navigating big transitions, or just looking for motivation, this episode will inspire you to stop settling and take bold steps toward your vision. 🔥💪
What You'll Learn:
- 🌟 Why We're Leaving Our Dream Home — The surprising reason behind our move to Miami.
- 💡 From Setbacks to Success — How to recover from failures and turn them into a platform for growth.
- 💥 The Role of Intuition in Business & Life — Why ignoring your inner voice could cost you your future.
- 🔥 When to Take the Leap — How to identify when to make a significant life change.
- 👨👩👧👦 Building a Business & Family — Tips for managing family dynamics while running multiple businesses.
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🔗 Join Our FREE Men’s Bible Study: www.warriormensbiblestudy.com
🔗 Visit Danielle’s Personal Blog: www.DanielleKWhite.com
In this episode of Date Your Wife, Garrett and Danielle White bring together power couple Chris and Lori Harder to share their profoundly personal relationship journey. From the challenges of building individual careers to their ultimate decision to separate business ventures, Chris and Lori provide valuable insights for couples navigating love, entrepreneurship, and the complex balance between intimacy and independence.
Their journey inspires couples trying to "have it all" while maintaining a solid partnership. Through candid reflections, they explore how creating distinct professional identities was crucial in saving their marriage.
If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to Date Your Wife on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and leave us a review to share your thoughts! Want to connect with more power couples and get actionable tips for balancing business and intimacy? Follow us on Instagram at @dateyourwifepodcast for daily relationship advice and behind-the-scenes content.
If you're a show fan and want more strategies for keeping your marriage strong while pursuing ambitious goals, visit our website at www.dateyourwifepodcast.com for more episodes, exclusive content, and upcoming events. Stay tuned for the next episode, where we'll share even more stories and insights to help you navigate love, business, and everything in between!
Welcome back to the Date Your Wife Podcast! In this episode, we’re joined by Peter Kel and Kaitlin O'Toole as they share their inspiring journey—how they met and how they’re manifesting their dream life together. We dive deep into the push-and-pull dynamic in relationships and why growing together is key to staying connected. Garrett and I have found that recognizing and holding each other to our full potential has been a game-changer in our relationship. Tune in weekly as we sit down with powerful couples and share the story of how we built our life together. Don’t miss it!
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
Are your needs being met inside your marriage, and are you honest about what your needs are? On this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett dive into the honest truth of being married for over 21 years and being able to ruthlessly communicate their truth—even when it might be painful to share with your partner. Catch a new episode every week.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
The Power of Communication in Marriage | Date Your Wife Podcast** Join us this week as my husband and I discuss the challenges of communication in marriage and how men and women express their needs differently. I share my personal journey of learning to be honest with my feelings and how it helped strengthen our connection. From almost getting divorced over waffles to uncovering deeper patterns in our relationship, we dive into what it takes to create true intimacy. Tune in for practical insights, personal stories, and more on building a lasting marriage!
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
On this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, we delve into the experiences of Sanjay and Cole, a dynamic couple who successfully manage both a thriving business and a strong marriage. Their journey highlights the unique challenges and strategies of blending personal and professional lives.
Sanjay and Cole initially faced significant conflicts as they tried to align their business strategies with their personal relationship. Their breakthrough came when they defined clear roles: Cole as the CEO of the business and Sanjay as the CEO of the home. This separation of duties reduced friction and allowed them to focus on their strengths.
Effective communication played a crucial role in their relationship. Through therapy and practice, they learned to better understand each other’s emotional needs and improve their interactions. A key insight was discovering their love languages—Cole values quality time and physical touch, while Sanjay appreciates acts of service. This understanding helped them support each other more effectively.
Sanjay and Cole also emphasize the importance of setting boundaries between work and personal life, making time for each other without discussing business matters. Their experience offers valuable lessons for couples looking to thrive in both their personal and professional lives.
Tune in to hear more about their journey and the strategies that have helped them balance their business and marriage successfully.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
On this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, we talk about how we have essentially raised one another. I was 18 years old when I met my husband, married by 20, and we were raised in a very religious environment. We had to shatter many beliefs to truly set ourselves free. In this week's episode, I’m talking about how I found my stripper. This is something that many women struggle with—finding their sexual freedom. For me, one of the things I decided to do was compete in bikini competitions. It wasn’t just about being on stage, looking good in a bikini, but seeing the person I would become on the other side. Don’t miss a new episode of the Date your Wife podcast every Monday.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
Today on the Date Your Wife podcast, we're excited to welcome the newest member of the Orange County Housewives, Jenifer Padrabti, along with her fiancé, Ryan Boyajian. In this episode, we dive into the story of how Jenifer and Ryan met, as well as the challenges they faced in their previous marriages. Ryan, often portrayed as Orange County’s "bad boy," and Jenifer, a mother of five who had been previously married, share their experiences navigating love and life under the scrutiny of reality TV. We all know how reality TV can twist narratives to create the story they want. It was refreshing to hear directly from Jenifer and Ryan and get to know them better. They both seem genuinely connected and deeply in love. Our conversation also covers the struggles of dealing with social media trolls, media scrutiny, and public comments. From my experience, staying grounded and knowing who you are is crucial. Tuning out the noise and remembering your purpose has always been my way of pushing through adversity. Tune in to this week's episode to hear the REAL story of the newest member of the Orange County Housewives!
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
In today’s episode of the Date You Write podcast, we discuss probably one of the most significant issues in marriage. SEX. Everything from being raised in a religious culture where sex was shamed and even a lot of guilt around the topic. From topics of needy, sex vacation sex and how to retrain your sexual behaviors to transform your marriage. Don’t miss this episode, talking about real problems married couples face every week.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
The role you play in your business is different from the role you play at home. Today on the Date Your Wife podcast, we’re talking about raising five children together, running multiple empires, and how we have had to separate roles in order to have good communication inside of our marriage. What may serve you in your business may need to switch tones inside the home. I am the wife, but I also love playing the boss role. Catch a new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast every week.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
What is the true definition of a power couple? Is it your bank account? Your social media following? On today’s episode of the "Date Your Wife" podcast, Garrett and I share more of our journey to build the life we desire: five kids, multiple empires, and the pursuit of having it all. Life is what you create it to be, and a power couple is a couple that can individually grow while simultaneously growing together. Catch a new episode out every Monday.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
Today on the Date Your Wife podcast, we’re sharing more of our story. Over the last 12 years, I built an eight-figure hair brand while raising four daughters. I had to break through many limiting beliefs stemming from a religious upbringing, as well as the stigma of being "just a hairstylist" for so many years. I had to overcome mom guilt and set boundaries for myself to create balance and success. Don’t miss a new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast out every week, where we share more of our story and how we built our life together.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
On this week's episode of the "Date Your Wife" podcast, we talk about the controversial topic of what’s acceptable to put on social media. Having been raised in a religious culture, doing bikini competitions has made me look at the body completely different. Something that may trigger one person is the new normal for another. How do people get to a place where they're OK with doing OnlyFans? Everyone has a different level of comfort and what is socially acceptable to them. Don’t miss a new episode of the "Date Your Wife" podcast, out every Monday, where we talk about the life we have built while raising five children.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, we are talking about our fitness competition from this past month. We are both in our 40s with five children and in the best shape of our lives. Specifically, changing your patterns doesn’t mean you have to work harder. It just means that you work smarter. Your results are a level of your commitment. Oftentimes, it doesn’t require more effort, but retraining those patterns and behaviors and letting go of old stories to create a new version of yourself. Don’t miss a new episode of the podcast every week.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
Do you have the faith to go even when you can’t see the whole plan? We crave safety and security, but this won’t get you where you need to go. When I look at the life I have created, I have to pinch myself because it goes far beyond what I thought I would have in this lifetime. And I’m not just talking about money and lifestyle. Together we have been married for 21 years, have 5 children, and built multile eight figure busiesses! I don’t like feeling stuck in a box at any time. Or abide by a story that holds me hostage. I constantly question any story and ask myself, “Is this true?” I think so many of the rules and stories we have are because of how we are raised; if you could strip all that away, would you have faith to do things differently? God will always steer the ship, but you must be willing to row. We have a crazy story, and if you’re only watching these reels, you’re just getting a glimpse of what we have created, and you can do the same. Catch new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast every Monday!
On this week's episode of the podcast. It was right before our show that we discussed what an incredible journey. The day after was my birthday, and we flew out to Dubai. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, and life just keeps expanding. Tune in every Monday for a new episode of the Date your Wife Podcast! There's a price to poverty and prosperity. Your habits, patterns, behaviors, and mindset shape your lives. The only thing that holds you back is your limiting beliefs. I challenge you to educate yourself, push past old stories and limiting beliefs, prove yourself and others wrong, and create the best version of yourself. This is what I have done over and over, and I hope to inspire others
Let’s Connect... My Blog https://www.daniellekwhite.com Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life ➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/ Education for Hairstylists ➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities Instagram ➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions ➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite ➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
Welcome to the Date, Your Wife podcast! I'm your host, the trophy wife. Join us this week as we delve into the intriguing tale of how I met Garrett when I was just 18. At 25, Garrett was divorced and harbored a secret son, unbeknownst to me. Tune in for another spicy episode as we unravel the real story behind building our life together, raising five kids along the way.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
How to Unleash Your Inner Stripper After four kids, why did I decide to start bodybuilding? I aimed to shatter old stories and limiting beliefs, to see what would unfold if I fully committed. Bodybuilding didn’t just transform me physically; it reshaped me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Tune in to this week's episode of The Date Your Wife Podcast, where Garrett and I delve into our bodybuilding journey, navigating the game of sex within a religious upbringing, and our journey to liberation. Join us every week for a fresh episode!
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
Leaving any culture or religion is probably the hardest thing someone can do. It redefines the person you are, and it makes people uncomfortable when you choose a different box Garrett and I share candidly about being raised in the Mormon culture, as well as letting go of old stories and limiting beliefs to become who you see today. We have five kids together, built multiple eight figure businesses together, each week we release a new episode of the Date your wife podcast where we share insights on how we created our life together.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhitsgagahvzgazvzge
In this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, we have two guests on the show and are talking about the concept of having game inside of your marriage. Couples often get comfortable inside of marriage. This can lead to sexless marriages, which can eventually lead to resentment. So, how do you keep the sparkle alive? Tune in to today’s show; it’s a spicy one, and you won’t want to miss it. Catch a new episode out every Monday.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
If you're waiting to get TikTok-famous without building a foundation, you'll be the one-hit wonder. On today's episode, Garrett and I talk about having the courage to go. In the beginning, you feel unqualified, but you can't become qualified without putting in the work. We share our stories of building seven-figure businesses from the ground up, rebuilding our marriage and relationship, and raising five children. Just when you thought being married was tough, we decided to throw in five kids and multiple businesses into the mix. We're not perfect, but we preach from where we are at. Don't miss a new episode of "The Date You Write" podcast out every week, and tune in to my blog or find out more about all of my brands!
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
Reactivity in Marriage: Learning how your partner communicates is crucial to a good relationship. Sometimes, before you react, it’s good to take a pause and ask yourself, "Is it going to get me what I want in my relationship?" In my experience, if you can do this, you might communicate a little bit differently. In today’s episode of the podcast, we’re talking about the male and female perspectives of being vulnerable, open, learning to listen rather than solve the problem, and creating space where men and women feel safe to be vulnerable and share truth.
Is your business your mistress? Do you lack chemistry in your relationship because your needs are truthfully not being met? On this week's episode of the Date You Write podcast, we're talking about vacation sex and the dynamic of taking a vacation with your wife when your real mistress is the business. It can be painful to spend time with your significant other when you lack chemistry and your true needs are not met. Tune in every Monday for a new spicy episode. We've been married for over 20 years, have five kids, and have built multiple eight-figure businesses from the ground up.
Catch a new episode out every Monday!
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
Welcome to the "Date Your Wife" podcast, where spicy real topics in marriage are discussed. On this week's episode, we're talking about the importance of couples' getaway trips, lots of sex, and learning how to communicate positivity to your partner. Being each other’s support and cheerleading goes both ways. Words, validation, are crucial inside of a relationship, focusing on gratitude versus the little things that bug you, but really don’t matter.
In the last year, we wanted to take our marriage from being good to great, so we committed to doing therapy every single week. We didn’t wait until things got spicy or felt like things needed to get fixed. We chose to do therapy once a week as a working hour on our marriage. You go to the gym to work your body, you read and study to work your mind. Why wouldn’t you set aside specific time to work on your marriage?
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
Get ready for another episode of the real White House family dynamic—from toddlers to teenagers to 20-year-olds. Two entrepreneurs, five kids, and the chaos that comes with it. On today's episode, Garrett touches base on how Helmen pour all of their sexual frustrations into building a business. Parker talks about the pressure of having producing entrepreneur parents. Bailee talks vulnerably about her anxiety and how she’s afraid to go all in because she has to take full accountability of the results. And Danielle finalizes that there is no endgame; no matter how much money you make, there’s always a new ceiling. Don’t miss another episode every week of empires and raising a family.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, we are talking about the importance of sex and money in keeping couples together and being willing to be honest with your feelings, despite feeling vulnerable, in fear of hurting your partner or exposing yourself.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
- Parental Plans vs. Child's Passions: - Adults often have rigid plans for their children, but deviations can challenge parental identity. - Embracing children's passions while ensuring their safety is key. - Personal Experience: - Bailee struggled in junior high, prompting us to withdraw her from high school for a music career. - Questioned the one-size-fits-all checklist for success. - Bailee's Success: - Despite her age, she thrives in the music community. - Confident she'll excel in the industry. - Taking a Leap of Faith: - Stepping out of comfort zones is daunting but essential for growth. - Encourage embracing the journey of mastery. - Conclusion: - Reflect on parenting approaches and consider embracing children's unique paths. - Tune in to the Real White House podcast for more insights into parenting dynamics.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
Welcome to the date your wife podcast – this one is a spicy one. We have been married for over 20 years, have five kids, and have built multiple eight-figure businesses together. It has definitely not been easy. We almost called it quits so many times, but now we are very committed, and life is successful and abundant, but it didn’t come without hard work and commitment. One of the things we have committed to is date night and recently, therapy every week. It’s crazy to me to think that so many couples don’t prioritize date night. They’ll put their money into so many things, except for a babysitter to spend time and reconnect with their spouse. You and I have been committed to date nights for years and recently have decided to commit to weekly therapy. I used to think that this meant I was broken or that something was wrong, and now I realize how much time and attention I put into work things. Why wouldn’t I put this into my marriage? So now, counseling has turned into a working hour inside of my marriage. It’s been a game-changer. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. Catch a new episode every Monday! We’re not perfect, but we've figured a few things out along the way, and I truly believe that so many marriages quit too fast. Want to learn about our married event? head over to dateyourwife.com Let’s Connect... My Blog https://www.daniellekwhite.com Dateyourwife.com
This week on the Real White House Podcast, we’re chatting about the difference between one-hit wonders and people who really put in the work to build a business. We're looking at it from the perspective of teenagers dreaming of starting their own thing and seasoned entrepreneurs who've been there, done that. You know, one big mistake I often see young entrepreneurs make is overthinking everything without actually rolling up their sleeves and getting down to business. There is a false reality of being perfect but perfection does not exist. You can't expect success to just fall intoyour lap without putting in the grind. Too many people are scared to go all in because they're afraid of failing. But guess what? Failure's just part of the journey, and there's no such thing as perfect. And to be perfect would mean there is an endgame. There’s no endgame only constant growth and expansion. Tune in every Wednesday for a new episode where we'll be dishing about entrepreneurship, sharing stories from our own experiences building multiple businesses, and juggling it all while raising teens and toddlers at the same time!
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
On this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, we're talking about sex and how it can be used for all the right reasons, and all the wrong reasons. I was raised in a Mormon culture ( no longer practice inside of this religion ) where there was a lot of guilt and shame around sex, even within the beginning of my marriage, I was guilty of using sex as a bargaining tool. This just left both of us feeling unheard, unseen, and resentful. and ultimately, I felt hostage in my relationship at this time. We also talk about life and business, and sometimes when you hide in the work, you miss opportunities that God can open up for you because you're too busy to see them. Sometimes you're called to create space to see the bigger picture. Tune into the Date Your Wife podcast every Monday where we talk about real-life topics. We've been married for over 20 years and have five children together. We've built multiple eight-figure businesses and we're always looking to learn, grow, and go to the next level.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
On this week's episode of the Real White House Podcast, Danielle shares her frustration about not having open communication and respect with her teenage daughter. The White family battles the dynamics of raising toddlers and teenagers while running multiple businesses together. There's never a dull moment in the White House, nor a shortage of opinions. Catch a new episode every Wednesday.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
Welcome to the Date Your Wife podcast! On this week's episode, Garrett and I had the opportunity to drive down to Beverly Hills and hijack the Driven Studios with our guests on the show, Albert and Syl Preciado. This was our first encounter with this couple, and let me tell you, they were a lot of fun to hang out with. They run a business together and have three beautiful daughters. It was fun to sit in their studio and experience a part of their world. It turns out that a lot of couples, especially entrepreneur couples, face some of the same challenges, like kicking toddlers out of your bed and finding secret places to have sex. Turns out there are more crazy couples like us who think it's a good idea to run companies and raise children. You won't want to miss this episode. Catch a new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast every Monday.
Let’s Connect...
My Blog
https://www.daniellekwhite.com
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
In this podcast episode, hosts Danielle and Garrett share their personal journey and reflections on their relationship, spirituality, and the role of religion in their lives. They discuss their initial attraction to each other and the challenges they faced as they navigated their different religious backgrounds. Despite their differences, they emphasize the importance of timing and connection in their relationship, highlighting the role of vulnerability and authenticity in building a strong partnership.
The hosts also delve into their experiences with different religious beliefs and the impact it has had on their lives. They discuss their transition from Mormonism to non-denominational Christianity and the freedom they found in exploring their own spiritual paths. They challenge the idea of measuring one's faith solely based on religious practices and instead advocate for a focus on personal growth, impact, and the fruit of one's actions in the domains of body, being, balance, and business.
Throughout the episode, Danielle and Garrett emphasize the importance of authenticity, growth, and connection in their relationship and spiritual journey. They encourage listeners to question and explore their own beliefs, while also recognizing the value of different religious traditions. Ultimately, they advocate for a holistic approach to spirituality that goes beyond religious labels and focuses on personal growth, impact, and the pursuit of a meaningful and fulfilling life.
Let’s Connect...
Check out our Family on The Real White House
➜https://wakeupwarrior.com/trwh-home/
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
In this episode, Danielle & Garrett dive into the complexities of relationships and the importance of attention and connection.
They discuss the concept of friction in relationships, highlighting how growth and progress can lead to friction, while stagnation can cause it to cease. They explore the need for attention and how it can manifest differently in men and women.
The two share personal experiences and insights, discussing the challenges of maintaining intimacy and connection in long-term relationships.
They also touch on the topic of open relationships and the potential pitfalls and benefits they may offer. Join them as they navigate the delicate balance between desire, commitment, and fulfillment in relationships.
The biggest takeaways from this podcast 👇
1️⃣ Friction is a sign of growth: In a relationship, friction is inevitable. It's like breaking down a muscle to make it stronger. If the relationship is dying, the friction stops. Embrace the challenges and conflicts as opportunities for growth.
2️⃣ Attention and connection are essential: Both partners need attention and connection in a relationship. It's not just about physical intimacy but also about feeling seen and acknowledged. Women, in particular, need to embrace their need for attention and not feel guilty about it.
3️⃣ Communication is key: Open and honest communication is crucial in maintaining a strong relationship. Couples should be willing to have difficult conversations, express their desires, and explore new ways to keep the spark alive. It's about finding what works for both partners and creating a safe space for vulnerability.
____________________
Let’s Connect...
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
In a recent episode of the podcast, the White family engaged in a controversial discussion about various topics, including sexuality, gender, and societal norms. The conversation touched on the challenges faced by individuals in today's world, particularly in terms of identity and acceptance.
However, it is crucial to note that some of the comments made during the podcast may have been offensive or insensitive to certain individuals or communities. It is our responsibility as listeners to engage in thoughtful conversations and challenge our own biases to promote a more inclusive and understanding society.
While the podcast episode may have sparked controversy and disagreement, it also serves as a reminder of the importance of open dialogue and the need to listen to diverse perspectives. By engaging in respectful conversations and seeking to understand one another, we dont have to all agree and can still have open dialogue. In a society where everything is tought to be excepted, boundaries and morals are becoming less excepted.
The White Family also discuss the power of collaboration and community-building in today's world. They highlight the importance of finding like-minded individuals who can support and uplift each other, rather than competing or tearing each other down.
Let’s Connect...
Check out our Family on The Real White House
➜https://wakeupwarrior.com/trwh-home/
Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
➜ https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Education for Hairstylists
➜ https://nbr.education/#homepageopportunities
➜ https://www.instagram.com/wakeupwarrior/
➜ https://www.instagram.com/naturalbeadedrowsextensions
➜ https://instagram.com/garrettjwhite
➜ https://instagram.com/daniellekwhite
In this podcast episode, hosts Garrett and Danielle engage in a raw and intense conversation about the dynamics of their relationship. They openly discuss their struggles with communication, emotional honesty, and the challenges of balancing personal and professional lives. The episode delves into the complexities of marriage, addiction, and the pursuit of happiness, offering a candid and unfiltered look into the realities of a modern relationship.
Throughout the episode, Garrett and Danielle explore the different expectations and pressures placed on men and women in society. They touch on topics such as addiction, social media, and the need for validation. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding and empathizing with each other's perspectives, as well as the need for open and honest communication in order to build a strong and fulfilling partnership.
Despite the intense nature of their discussion, the hosts also emphasize the value of therapy and the importance of seeking professional help to navigate the challenges of a relationship. They acknowledge that hard conversations are necessary for growth and understanding, and that therapy provides a safe space to work through these issues. Overall, this episode offers a thought-provoking and honest exploration of the complexities of marriage and the ongoing journey of self-discovery within a relationship.
Let’s Connect...
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In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, hosts Danielle and Garrett welcome a special guest couple to discuss the power of communication and trust in marriage. The couple, founders of the Lions Not Sheep movement, Sean & Sax Whalen, share their unique journey and the challenges they faced in their relationship.
The conversation begins with a discussion about the importance of open communication and the role it plays in building a strong marriage. The guests emphasize the need for couples to speak their truth and express their needs and desires, even if it means having difficult conversations.
They also touch on the concept of trust and how it is essential for a healthy relationship. The guests share their personal experiences of building trust and the importance of being vulnerable with each other.
The hosts and guests also delve into the dynamics of being in a relationship with a powerful partner. They discuss the need for both partners to support and push each other to become the best versions of themselves. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and appreciating each other's strengths and providing a safe space for growth.
Throughout the episode, the guests and hosts share personal anecdotes and insights into their own marriages, highlighting the challenges and rewards of building a strong partnership.
Overall, the episode emphasizes the significance of effective communication, trust, and mutual support in creating a thriving marriage. It serves as a reminder that even in the face of challenges, couples can overcome obstacles and grow together.
Let’s Connect...
Check out our Family on The Real White House
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Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
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In this episode of the Real White House Podcast, the White family dives into the world of love, relationships, and the awkward encounters that come with them. From discussing their daughter's new boyfriend to Parker's tattoo journey, they explore the challenges and excitement that arise when navigating the realm of dating and personal growth. Join them as they share their candid experiences and perspectives on finding love, building relationships, and embracing their true selves. Get ready for a lively and thought-provoking conversation that challenges societal norms and celebrates individuality.
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Unlock Unlimited Power, Profits, & Purpose In You Business, Marriage, & Life
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In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, hosts Garrett and Danielle discuss a range of topics, from tattoos and body transformations to the concept of guilt and the consequences of one's actions. They share personal stories, including a recent incident where their daughter's Starbucks account was hacked, resulting in over $2,000 in charges. The hosts also touch on the importance of setting boundaries and surrounding oneself with the right people. Tune in for an honest and thought-provoking conversation about personal growth, relationships, and the pursuit of self-improvement.
🔥 "From Lean Cuisine to Lifting Weights: A Family's Journey to Fitness Empowerment"
Welcome to "The Real White House," where we dive deep into real stories of transformation and triumph. In this episode, we're unfolding a tale not just of physical strength, but of mental resilience and family unity.
Meet Danielle, who stepped into the world of fitness competitions, sparking a revolution in her family's life. It's a story that began four and a half years ago with the birth of her daughter Isla, a turning point that saw Danielle grapple with her body image and mental health. But here's where the plot twists: faced with anxiety, depression, and a body she no longer recognized, Danielle chose to fight back. She took a leap into the unknown world of bikini competitions, armed with nothing but a fierce determination to regain control of her life.
Danielle’s journey is more than a personal victory. It's a catalyst that transformed her entire family. From a diet of quick-fix meals to embracing the grind in the gym, Danielle’s resolve stirred something in her husband and children. It's a story where a "lean cuisine family" evolves into a powerhouse of health and fitness.
Throughout the episode each family member shares the impact of first seeing Danielle take on her fitness journey.
This episode isn't just about lifting weights or changing diets. It's about overcoming fears, challenging norms, and realizing that seeking help is a strength, not a weakness. It's about a family that decided to change their narrative, proving that the journey to fitness is as much about mental health as it is about physical strength.
Tune in to witness how one family's journey through fitness competition has become a beacon of hope and inspiration. Whether you're a fitness enthusiast or someone looking for a spark to ignite your journey towards better health, this story is for you. It's a reminder that transformation is possible, and it can start in any family – maybe even yours.
https://therealwhitehouse.com/ Watch the the video version here: https://www.youtube.com/@TheRealWhiteHouse
https://therealwhitehouse.com/ 🚨 FIRST UP, we're throwing down the gauntlet – a CHALLENGE, if you will. We're inviting YOU, yes YOU, to dive headfirst into our program with a FREE trial. Bring your better half along for the ride – test the waters for a week and see if this is the battleground where you want to fight for your marriage, for your success, and for your LIFE! If it feels like we're speaking your language, then stick around, and let's get this transformation party started. Check out wakeupwarrior.com – your arsenal of tools, tactics, and truths to conquer your world together! And guess what? This isn't just some fluffy group therapy session. We're talking REAL application of the principles we preach here. Men, women, it doesn't matter – we've all got skin in the game. From crushing it in fitness to mastering the art of homeschooling our warriors-in-training, to making bank doing what we LOVE – we’re living proof, and we’re here to show you how it's done! Oh, and don't forget to tune into "The Real White House" – it's not just a podcast; it's our reality, our chaos, our triumphs, raw and unfiltered! 🍏 Now, let's talk CLEAN EATING. You want to sharpen that brain of yours? Fuel it right! We've lived it, we've breathed it – clean eating isn't just about looking good, it's about feeling POWERFUL, mentally unstoppable. As entrepreneurs, as parents, we’re telling you – this isn't just about your body; it's about fueling your empire-building brain! 💪 And hey, speaking of bodies, let’s chat about our latest fitness conquest. We’re not just dipping our toes here; we’re diving into the deep end of transformation. Feeling stronger, more confident – hell, confident enough for nude shoots! That's not just body talk; that's soul talk. It’s about setting goals, smashing them, and building a life where discipline and pride aren’t just words – they’re your reality. So, are you ready to join us? To make this journey YOURS? Dive into the deep end with us on this episode of "Date Your Wife." Let’s get fired up, let’s get real, and let's transform together. It's not just a podcast; it's a REVOLUTION. Let’s GO! 🚀🔥 https://youtu.be/OYi5OIPSjrs
In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle & Garrett discuss the art of leading a fulfilling life through the lens of productivity and engagement. Danielle discusses the balance of juggling the roles of womanhood, motherhood, wifedom, and business ownership.
With an engaging candor that feels like an intimate conversation, they peel back the layers of relationships, revealing how personal growth can dramatically influence the dynamics of partnerships. Along the way, they shine a spotlight on issues such as body image, the often-neglected practice of self-care, and the relentless pursuit of success.
Amidst the laughter and vulnerability, our hosts navigate the rollercoaster of life's highs and lows, emphasizing the importance of adaptability and continued personal growth. Tune in to this episode and discover a wellspring of insights and inspiration, equipping you with valuable tools for thriving in the multifaceted modern world.
Welcome to another episode of our podcast, where we're unlocking the secrets of better communication and personal growth in relationships. We've been on quite the journey ourselves. Back in the day, the smallest things used to set us off, creating a cascade of misunderstandings. But, thanks to therapy and some Enneagram wisdom, we've uncovered a superpower: the ability to tune into each other's vibes and unspoken feelings.
Now, when a tricky comment or behavior arises, we handle it with understanding, leaving negative assumptions in the rearview mirror. We've learned to decipher the unsaid, and while we're big on giving the benefit of the doubt, we're not infinitely patient with repeated slip-ups. We're all about growth, and therapy and the Enneagram have been our trusty companions on this journey.
Get ready for some game-changing insights – it's time to dive in! 🚀
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett J White & Danielle K White delve into the complexities of human behavior and relationships.
They explore our tendency to judge others for their habits while admitting to their own vices, from caffeine to alcohol and dietary choices. Throughout, they stress the importance of balance and avoiding guilt in pursuing goals.
Beyond vices, they discuss personal growth challenges and the impact of judgment based on individual experiences. Open communication and accountability are key.
They reflect on four transformative years, guided by a higher power, believing in unity's societal impact. Open relationships are touched upon, with reservations.
The hosts focus on their journey towards honest communication in their relationship, highlighting vulnerability and truth for a strong connection. They discuss sexual relationship evolution, and emphasize avoiding extreme measures like open relationships.
Their goal is to empower listeners to improve their relationships through open communication.
The episode ends with exciting announcements about upcoming episodes of The Real White House and speaking engagements.
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett and Danielle White open up about their marriage journey.
They explore therapy's pivotal role, the essence of deep connection, and the intriguing dance of sexual desires in a relationship.
Danielle's analytical nature helps her understand the enigma of men. Her ability to relate to their perspectives enhances her connection with Garrett and enables honest conversations.
Garrett and Danielle introduce the Date Your Wife Experience, a platform for couples to engage in group therapy. It emphasizes the need for active work on the relationship, providing insights from the Wake Up Warrior community.
Danielle shares her quest for a deeper connection with Garrett despite achieving milestones. Therapy uncovers the importance of emotional and sexual intimacy.
The two discuss the significance of open conversations about sexual desires. They share how it has positively impacted their relationship, emphasizing its importance.
Garrett and Danielle's journey emphasizes therapy, honest communication, and addressing sexual desires in nurturing a fulfilling partnership. It's a roadmap for couples seeking connection and passion in their love story.
In this week's episode, Danielle and Garrett White dive deep into the delicate art of juggling a career while giving your family the attention they deserve.
Danielle opens up about her journey of kickstarting her own brand, DKW Styling.
Her motivation?
To gain independence and a high-quality lifestyle for herself and her children.
She shares her belief in the importance of women having independence and purpose outside of their roles as wives and mothers and how pursuing her career and making money has given her a sense of freedom and fulfillment.
However, she also acknowledges the value of having a partner who is a strong producer and provider.
Garrett adds that men are not naturally built to be house husbands and that the societal shift towards women being more aggressive and masculine can create a clash in relationships.
They chat about the importance of maintaining that balance between work and playfulness in a relationship, as well as the impact of societal expectations on gender roles.
So, grab your headphones and get ready to be inspired as they drive home the point that it's absolutely crucial to find your own sense of purpose and independence, even if you're playing the traditional roles of a loving partner and devoted parent.
It's all about creating a life that's uniquely yours, and these two are here to show you how it's done!
Join Danielle and Garrett, on a captivating journey through the streets of Paris in the latest episode of the Date Your Wife podcast!
In this episode, they share candid conversations and laughter from their recent 20th-anniversary trip to the City of Love.
Buckle up for a ride covering self-care, fashion, and the evolution of their intimate life.
From the challenges of maintaining youthful appearances to sipping champagne in Paris, Danielle and Garrett infuse every moment with their wit and charm.
Modern relationships are a delicate dance between love, personal growth, and the pursuit of success.
In a recent episode of The Date Your Wife podcast, Garrett and Danielle open up about their own journey, offering a candid exploration of marriage, communication, and the dynamics that come with balancing ambition and intimate connection.
Honesty is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and Garrett and Danielle emphasize its profound importance. Even when it's uncomfortable or may lead to conflict, the two stress the need to be open and transparent with your partner.
Sharing your truth, even if it differs from your partner's perspective, fosters trust and deepens the connection. While honesty might be difficult, the couple underscores that it is essential to maintaining a vibrant and sustainable relationship.
By prioritizing open communication, embracing vulnerability, and supporting each other's growth, couples can establish a strong foundation upon which to build a fulfilling and enduring relationship.
So, whether you're a newlywed or have been together for decades, their wisdom offers guidance on the journey of love, growth, and connection.
In this episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, hosts Danielle and Garrett dive into the topic of seduction and connection within a relationship.
They discuss the common fantasy of being swept off one's feet and the allure of certainty and adventure.
They also explore the power dynamics in relationships and the importance of emotional connection.
With candid and humorous conversations, they share personal experiences and insights on how to keep the spark alive in a long-term partnership.
Join them as they navigate the complexities of seduction, connection, and the ever-evolving dynamics of love and desire.
Tune in and allow yourself to be swept away!
____________________
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Welcome back to another episode of the Date Your Wife podcast!
Join Garrett and Danielle White as they take you on a journey into the importance of dating your spouse and its incredible potential to revive struggling marriages.
In this emotionally charged installment, Garrett and Danielle fearlessly open up about their personal experiences and the challenges they've faced in their own marriage.
They candidly discuss the common obstacles that married couples encounter when trying to prioritize their relationship amidst the chaos of everyday life.
From the guilt that arises when seeking outside help to the genuine fear of losing one's sense of self in the union, they bravely delve into the mindset shifts essential for nurturing a thriving marriage.
Garrett and Danielle challenge the misconception that investing in your marriage is a financial burden.
Instead, they highlight the true value of consistent and intentional efforts to keep the flame of love burning brightly.
Join this power couple as they inspire you to challenge societal norms and embark on a journey of rekindling the romance and connection with your partner.
Discover how dating your spouse can breathe new life into even the most struggling of marriages.
Whether you're newlyweds or have been together for decades, this episode is for you!
Tune in as Garrett and Danielle share their personal journey and impart invaluable insights that will transform the way you approach your relationship.
Get ready to reignite the spark and strengthen the bond with your beloved.
Welcome to the latest episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, where we dive deep into the transformative power of therapy and how it can revolutionize your relationship! Join us as we embark on a thrilling exploration of the benefits that therapy brings to couples like us.
Therapy is where we find a secure space for reflection and communication beyond the confines of our regular date nights and financial planning meetings. It's like a portal that unlocks hidden doors, revealing the topics we never thought we could discuss.
But therapy isn't just about managing conflicts or finding solutions to everyday challenges. It's about diving headfirst into the depths of our emotions and emerging with a newfound understanding of one another. We all know those moments when a conversation starts to escalate into a fiery argument, right? Well, therapy provides us with the tools to express our emotions and engage in conversations without letting anger take control.
Now, here's where things get really interesting. Therapy has become our lifeline in the midst of our busy lives. With schedules packed to the brim and demands pulling us in all directions, therapy carves out dedicated time for these essential discussions.
But therapy is not just about the therapist's insights; it's also about the power of self-reflection. It's a journey that encourages us to look within ourselves and examine our own behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. As we unravel the layers of our own complexities, we gain a greater understanding of how we show up in our relationship.
Therapy has been a game-changer for us, but it wasn't an overnight decision. We started our journey in 2016, but even before that, we had sporadic therapy-like conversations that hinted at the potential power of therapy. Back then, we had never sought professional help, but once we experienced the transformative effects of therapy, there was no turning back.
Welcome to another episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast!
Get ready to dive into a topic that will make your hearts race and your cheeks blush—sex and connection in relationships!
Danielle & Garrett are here to spice things up and remind us all of the importance of intimacy.
The couple has embarked on a personal journey to take their connection to the next level.
They've discovered that sex is more than just a physical act—it's a gateway to deepening emotional and spiritual bonds between partners. Who knew that getting frisky could be so enlightening?
Now, these two were raised in religious backgrounds where sex was often hush-hush. But guess what?
They've managed to break free from any fear or guilt associated with it. They've embraced the freedom and power that comes with exploring their desires and connecting on a whole new level. Talk about turning taboo into tantalizing!
For Danielle & Garrett, sex is like a mind-blowing rollercoaster ride of ecstasy and euphoria. It's a moment when they feel utterly open, vulnerable, and connected like never before. It's the ultimate high that leaves them craving more.
Sure, they acknowledge that connection can be achieved through deep conversations and other means, but let's be real here—sex offers a whole different level of connection. It's like the secret ingredient that takes your relationship from lukewarm to sizzling hot.
Our hosts have a fiery message for you: sexual intimacy should be a priority if both partners. It's a gift from God, designed to be experienced and enjoyed in this lifetime.
Danielle & Garrett firmly believe that it's a critical ingredient for a healthy and passionate relationship.
Now, we're not suggesting you run wild and forget about everything else. Connection comes in many forms, and communication is vital.
But don't shy away from embracing the power of physical intimacy!
Get ready as Danielle and Garrett turn up the heat and invite you to join them on this white-hot episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast.
Prepare to be scorched by their insights, seduced by their tips, and set ablaze with a passion for fiery communication and red-hot relationships.
In this episode, Danielle and Garrett tackle head-on the feedback they've received about their habit of constantly interrupting each other. Sparks fly as they acknowledge the problem and embark on a mission to master their communication skills by fiercely battling the urge to cut each other off.
Hold on tight as Danielle and Garrett bare it all, sharing their blistering therapy session experience where they discovered the power of holding space for one another. They reveal their burning desire to ignite a new chapter in their communication, free from the painful scars of the past. Danielle and Garrett are igniting change, fueling their relationship with active listening, scorching vulnerability, and a commitment to each other's growth.
But wait, there's an extra dose of spice! The topic of Porn within marriage is brought to the table.
They challenge listeners to seize control of their passions, leaving no partner unsatisfied.
Get ready for their scorching personal stories of navigating the flames of desire, where they risked it all and gained everything.
This is The Date Your Wife Podcast!
In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle & Garrett tackle some juicy topics about relationships, therapy, and sexuality. They really hammer home the importance of communication and vulnerability.
First up, they get real about their own therapy experiences and how it's crucial to go in without expecting to be right. They also chat about how guys often feel like they're the ones causing problems in relationships and why both partners need to take responsibility.
They also dive into the wild world of Mormon culture and sex. They spill the beans about waiting until marriage and wearing unsexy PJs and then share how they've become more comfortable and confident in their bodies and started rocking some sexy lingerie in the bedroom.
And hey, it's not all rainbows and sunshine. They dish about the challenges that power couples face in their marriages, like the temptation to shut down and trade in their partner, the struggles of navigating the relationship, and even the potential for divorce.
Throughout the episode, they stress the importance of being open and honest about your feelings, even if it's awkward or tough. They also talk about using personal content, like pics and videos, for some spicy fun and how crucial it is to recognize when your partner is hurting and be there for them.
Overall, this episode is a real eye-opener. It's like having a heart-to-heart chat with your best buds about relationships, therapy, and getting busy. They remind us that communication, vulnerability, and taking ownership are key ingredients for building and maintaining awesome relationships.
Prepare for a captivating episode as Garrett & Danielle dive into the tantalizing realm of sexual transmutation, unveiling its potential to ignite a blazing path to success in all aspects of life.
Inspired by Napoleon Hill's groundbreaking work in "Laws of Success," we venture into uncharted territories where the raw power of sexual energy fuels unimaginable productivity, boundless creativity, and unparalleled achievements.
Brace yourself for a podcast episode that challenges norms, explores the evolving landscape of infidelity, and unlocks the secrets to profound connection and fulfillment.
As we unravel the complex web of intimate relationships, we delve into the phenomenon of cheating.
Our hosts boldly illuminate the shifting tides, revealing a truth that pulses with empowerment and independence.
No longer confined to the shadows, women have embraced their desires, refusing to settle for anything less than passionate, fulfilling connections.
Join us as we dissect the multifaceted motivations behind infidelity, exposing the primal urges that drive men and the emotional yearnings that guide women toward forbidden territories.
Through candid discussions and heartfelt revelations, we delve into the transformative power of open communication, understanding, and the pursuit of genuine intimacy.
But the revelations don't end there.
We embark on a voyage through the uncharted waters of co-parenting, a realm fraught with challenges and unforeseen obstacles.
Through personal anecdotes, our hosts share the transformative power of a unified front in raising children, where the strength of their own bond becomes the foundation for effective parenting.
Discover the secrets to harmonious co-parenting as we navigate the treacherous storms of stress and drama, emerging victorious with a deeper understanding of ourselves and our children.
To truly grasp the essence of thriving relationships, we unlock the art of being present and attentive, offering a tantalizing glimpse into a world of passion and connection.
Witness the magic that unfolds when partners dedicate themselves to active engagement, deep listening, and unwavering support.
Explore the intricate dance of balancing life's demands while savoring the stolen moments of intimacy that breathe life into our connections.
Together, we unravel the power of presence, igniting flames that burn with fervor and purpose.
Embark on this intoxicating podcast episode as we shatter barriers, ignite passions, and unlock the secrets to success and profound connection.
Prepare for a riveting exploration that transcends the boundaries of societal norms, leaving you inspired to embrace your desires, honor your truth, and forge a path that leads to unabashed fulfillment.
Ready to take your business, marriage, and life to the next level? Don't miss out on the opportunity to unlock unlimited power, profits, and purpose. Join Garrett and thousands of other men in the transformative Warrior Challenge.
It's time for you to have it all!
Get off the sidelines and embark on the Wake Up Warrior Challenge today. Discover the strategies, tools, and mindset shifts that will revolutionize your journey toward success and fulfillment.
Don't wait any longer—seize the opportunity and join the challenge now!
https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Get ready for an electrifying episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast as Danielle and Garrett take you on a captivating journey toward relationship bliss.
Join them as they draw surprising parallels between the sultry moves of salsa dancing and the intricate steps required to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs.
In this soul-stirring conversation, the couple fearlessly confronts a recurring challenge: interrupting each other and feeling unheard.
Brace yourself for a candid exploration of their personal growth and the transformative power of effective communication.
Discover how they unlock the secrets of active listening, understanding triggers, and finding common ground, propelling their relationship to exhilarating heights.
But that's not all—prepare to be inspired as Danielle and Garrett dive into the art of empathy.
Explore the depths of their hearts as they share how they shattered the barriers of criticism and learned to embrace understanding and patience.
Witness the magic that unfolds when two souls commit to supporting and uplifting each other through the stormiest of times.
To ignite the fire of passion, they reveal the secrets to setting boundaries and scheduling sacred work conversations.
Discover how they navigate the treacherous waters of stress projection, ensuring that their love bubble remains a sanctuary of intimacy and desire.
Are you ready to embark on a journey toward relationship mastery?
Prepare to unleash the power of effective communication, empathy, and holding the line.
Join Danielle and Garrett in this captivating episode as they share their personal triumphs, invaluable insights, and practical strategies to help you create a relationship that sizzles with connection and resilience.
Get ready to embrace love's intoxicating dance—tune in now and unlock the secrets to a deeply fulfilling and passionate partnership!
Ready to take your business, marriage, and life to the next level? Don't miss out on the opportunity to unlock unlimited power, profits, and purpose. Join Garrett and thousands of other men in the transformative Warrior Challenge.
It's time for you to have it all!
Get off the sidelines and embark on the Wake Up Warrior Challenge today. Discover the strategies, tools, and mindset shifts that will revolutionize your journey toward success and fulfillment.
Don't wait any longer—seize the opportunity and join the challenge now!
https://wakeupwarrior.com/
Welcome to the latest episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast. Join us as we explore the incredible power of personal development, the importance of effective communication in relationships, and the life-changing Warriors Way.
Here are three key takeaways from this episode that you won't want to miss:
The Power of Personal Development
Discover why personal growth is a vital component for any man seeking to unlock his true potential and make a positive impact on the world.
Communication's Role in Building Relationships
Explore the fascinating concept that men and women may speak different languages yet share common desires within relationships. Gain insights and practical tips on how to communicate effectively and cultivate chemistry with your partner.
The Warriors Way
Hear about our personal journey implementing the Warriors Way, which we believe to be divinely inspired. Learn how this system empowers individuals to take control of their lives and foster profound connections in their relationships, ultimately leading to lasting and meaningful marriages. We encourage all men to embrace this discipline and embark on a journey of self-empowerment in their own relationships.
If you're looking to make a positive impact in the world and cultivate a deeply fulfilling relationship, this episode is a must-listen.
Tune in now to gain valuable insights and be inspired by the extraordinary potential within you.
Ready to learn how to unlock 'unlimited' Power, Profits & Purpose in your business, marriage & life?
Then it's time you join Garrett and thousands of other men in the Warrior Challenge.
It's time for you to have it all!
Get Off The Sidelines & Join The Wake Up Warrior Challenge TODAY.
Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast!
Prepare to embark on a journey of transformation as we explore the power of shifting your mindset and rewriting the stories you tell yourself. In this episode, we reveal personal experiences of applying these game-changing concepts to areas like fitness and relationships.
Let go of the pursuit of perfection and embrace the exhilarating rewards of progress. Discover how ingrained patterns and generational narratives hold us back, and learn to flip the script and forge a new path. Open your mind to new perspectives, find common ground, and unlock the door to growth both in yourself and your relationships.
But that's not all.
We dare to challenge societal expectations that have confined both men and women to predetermined roles. It's time for a paradigm shift.
Men, it's your moment to rise as extraordinary partners, fathers, and mentors.
Women, unleash your full potential and pursue purpose beyond motherhood.
Join us in an equal conversation that defies traditional norms.
While society may disproportionately celebrate motherhood and place value solely on income, we recognize the unique strengths of both genders.
Embrace diverse roles while pursuing your personal goals, and witness the magic that unfolds.
Don't miss out on this episode, where we dive into elevating your standards and becoming the best partner and parent you can be.
Together, let's rewrite the narrative and unlock a life of balance and fulfillment.
The Date Your Wife Podcast is back!
Brace yourself for an exhilarating episode packed with passion and excitement as we dive into our remarkable journey toward growth, accompanied by the challenges we boldly conquered along the way.
Within this week's episode, Garrett and Danielle leave you with 3 big takeaways.
Unleash the Flame of Growth
Indulge in the truth that growth isn't an overnight affair—it's an arduous dance of dedication, commitment, and a fearless embrace of uncomfortable truths, all intertwining in a symphony of personal evolution.
The Melody of Intense Listening
Discover the secret to unlocking our true purpose and satisfying the deepest desires of our partners and loved ones. Succumb to becoming an irresistible listener, for it is through this intimate act that we ignite the fires of passion, build unbreakable connections, and ascend to the summit of success.
The Temptation of Collaboration
In this enchanting episode, we reveal the intoxicating power of merging individual paths into a breathtaking ensemble. Immerse yourself in the captivating world of collaborative synergy, where the fusion of strengths and desires entwines us in a dance of achievement, surpassing all previous limits.
Get ready to be enticed by this riveting episode, where our journey of growth and collaboration will enthrall your senses.
Join us as we transcend boundaries, basking in the intoxicating support of one another, and fearlessly propel ourselves toward the ultimate pinnacle of our deepest desires.
The Date Your Wife Podcast is about to ignite your passions like never before. Tune in and unlock the secrets to a life filled with growth, connection, and endless possibilities.
Ready to learn how to unlock 'unlimited' Power, Profits & Purpose in your business, marriage & life?
Then it's time you join Garrett and thousands of other men in the Warrior Challenge.
It's time for you to have it all!
Get Off The Sidelines & Join The Wake Up Warrior Challenge TODAY.
How can two powerful entreprenuers also co-exist and THRIVE in a romantic relationship?
Danielle and Garrett discuss what it's like, both being producers that work together in and out of each others businesses, and how that effects their relationship.
They learned over the years that you have to WANT to be in the relationship, and you take action based on want instead of action based on NEED for the other person.
How do you even find the TIME as a busy entreprenuer to purposefully connect to your spouse?
Garrett and Danielle talk openly about what is/isn't working within their routines and schedules, and the importance of creating space and time for each other.
What are you willing to do a sacrifice to create more intentional time with one antoher?
"What is your brain classifying as work VS quality time" - Garrett J. White
Do you have a lingering sense of guilt or shame for your success?
This episode brings fire and truth, as Garrett and Danielle talk about money in marriage, knowing your worth as an individual and a partner, and breaking through old stories to progress your relationship.
PLUS- A lot of couples go out on dates to be social with other couples. Find out why Garrett and Danielle do NOT.
"You should never apologize for what you've built in life." - Danielle K White
What areas of your life are you playing small and just accepting what is? Is your "accepting" just an excuse to not do the work??
Today's Episode comes with some MAJOR TRUTH BOMBS --> Garrett and Danielle speak on fitness and health; the way these seemingly small choices can make a HUGE impact, and how transformation is the result of DECISIONS, not nessesarily a process.
"The decisions you make to level up your self, will influence your partners decision" - Garrett J White
"COMMIT for YOU!"- Danielle K White
Are you willing to collide and go to war with your spouse? No seriously-
Because if you are not willing to collide and have difficult conversations, you will not be able to expand and grow as a couple.
Garrett and Danielle have a confounding conversation revolving around how to let go, lean in, allow your partner to grow individually, and create trust for them to grow with you.
You don't want to miss today's FIRE episode!
"We have NEVER been on the same page with money - there's never any closure to it, except "make more money"!
Today's episode is REAL + RAW as Danielle and Garrett have what seems like an actual THERAPY session! Where else can you listen to a podcast like this?! The crazy thing is.. this topic is SO relatable (no matter your financial situation).
Buckle up...these two don't hold anything back.
Are you waiting around for a miracle to happen? For your relationship to suddenly get better? Your finances to stop stressing you out?
Guess what... there is stress at EVERY SINGLE LEVEL. So why not make it WORTH something and produce RESULTS!?
Today's podcast dives deep as Garrett and Danielle talk about what it really looks like to be ruthlessly commited to each other, living an abundant life, and how they STOPPED PLAYING SMALL.
“Consider the blessing is the FRUIT that comes out of the ROOT of ACTION” - Garrett J White
“When you finally let go, it opened up space for me to show up which I knew I could and would do…” - Danielle K White
What opportunities have you been given within your marriage, and life, that you're not allowing yourself to even see??
No seriously. If you can't see or envision success in your current life circumstance, what makes you think that you'll find success in a different situation?
We all have an opportunity within this body and this life and this circumstance we're currently facing.
Are you going to choose to be the victim? OR rise toward your highest self??
Danielle and Garrett speak the HARD TRUTH on what it takes to be successful, what FREEDOM actually looks like, and ... is there such thing as travelling TOO MUCH?
"If you can’t see success in your current lane, you’re not going to see success in your next lane because you’re just switching lanes because you’re bored!" - Danielle K White
"What is freedom? Moving away from shit you don’t want, courage to move towards the thing you do want" - Garrett J White
How often do you commit to something, but not end up following through or seeing it through?
There has to be a DAILY commitment you hold each other and yourselves accountable to, to become better and reach towards your goals.
Today's Episode features Garrett and Danielle speaking on parenting, lessons learned from being parents, how sex can be used as a duct tape, and why routines help you win BIG!
“Even though it’s like a zoo, enjoy this!.. I’ve been more receptive to having help inside of my home so I can enjoy this next chapter.. I’m so fulfilled.” - Danielle K White
“Be present and play all in TODAY” - Garrett J White
What are the possibilities? Do you think you're worthy of them?
In today's episode, Garrett and Danielle take you on a trip down memory lane as they talk about the growth and EXPANSION.
They talk about how marriage takes WORK, and you have to have the intention to SUCCEED ON PURPOSE.
"Expansion as an individual is not about arriving at a place, it's about arriving as a being" - Garrett J White
"If you want a marriage that's worth it, then it takes work! You're lying to yourself if you think it's going to be easy." - Danielle K White
What controversial conversations are you avoiding within your marriage, business, yourself, and God?
Today's VERY RAW and vulnerable episode provides value by exposing the real life drama and difficulties that Garrett and Danielle face. You'll listen in real time as they dissect issues within their household, and talk on how men and women handle conflict differently.
"Before I go into a difficult conversation, I think - What is the ultimate outcome I want from this situation?" - Danielle K White
"The value is simply in exposing ourselves" - Garrett J White
"The hardest part in any relationship is being able to deal with the collisions" - Garrett J White
Are you connected but not committed in your relationship?
Today's exciting epsiodes recaps on Danielle and Garrett's 19 years of marraige, how to push one another to growth, and the cost of not giving it your all in marriage.
Garrett and Danielle talk on Lucrative contracts, "Project Vacuum", and how Aventadors help people get laid... (ha ha ha).
"You can't just say you want a certain outcome, but then not be willing to do the work in between!" - Danielle K. White
"Do yoy evjer stop to consider you wouldn't be who you are today without your spouse?" - Garrett J. White
What is it actually costing you by NOT investing in your time, your life, and your spouse?
On this episode of Date Your Wife, Garrett and Danielle talk about raising the standard in your life, business, and marriage.
From how not to give a compliment, body building, and sending scandalous photos to one another, this epiosde will once again leave you laughing and inspired on how to elevate the game inside your marriage.
"There is no miracle cure for your business. There's no other company that's going to step into your business and just magically make your shit work"- Garrett J White
"In order to do more together, we had to stop competeing. It has to be more of - I support you, you support me"- Danielle K. White
What BOXES are you living in that are keeping you stuck inside the same story about your wife and relationships?
In this episode of Date Your Wife, Garrett and Danielle share NEVER BEFORE TOLD SECRETS they've been keeping from each other!
Where else can you listen to an episode that talks about God, "porno'clock", massages, and trackers all in one hour? Right here, Right now, on Date Your Wife.
"I jump from box to box...because I am always shattering the ones I am in...it's all patterns and routines" - Garrett J. White
"If you can learn to share your story as your living it, the good, bad, the ugly... you'll never know who you can impact" - Danielle K. White
Navigating parenthood of 5 kids can be..complicated. Throw in two THRIVING businesses (that both started from the ground up), and you've got yourself a party in cancun with the family for 7 days!
In this spicy epsiode, Garrett and Danielle recap their family vacation to Cancun, parenting teenagers, their thoughts on religion, and stepping in and out of each others businesses.
So, what does the future hold for both Wake Up Warrior, and DKWStyling? Stay tuned to find out.
"Guilt should serve as a reminder, not a place that's lived in" - Danielle K. White
"I'm an accelerator, you are a refiner" - Garrett J. White
Do they really still have that SPARK?
Yes, after 19 years of marriage, Danielle still views Garrett as her "person".
In today's episode, Danielle and Garrett speak on how they keep the spark alive, the greatest ROI, "TTF", Oreo Sandwhiches, and SO much more.
This highly engaging and entertaining episode will have you laughing and crying as they talk about how the little details matter, and exciting life updates (including adding 2 new members to their family).
For INFORMATION on CONNECTING with Dr. David Boyd - visit this link https://www.blindspotmedical.com
Get ready to level up in your relationship... AGAIN. Co-Hosts and married couple Garrett J. White and Danielle K. White are BACK from a chaotic and rough chapter of life.
Garrett and Danielle give you a life UPDATE, while covering many topics such as homeschooling, their biggest mistake in marriage, how pregnancy effects relationships, and Garrett becoming Batman.
Step into this episode to learn what it takes to win and how to let each other win.
"When you have moments of weakness, remember where you've been. You've worked too fucking hard for this!" - Danielle K. White
"I recognized i was not only undesirable as a man to not only HER, but also undesirable as a man to myself... and that is a scary place to be." - Garrett J. White
“On the heels of a two-day NBR™ training event, Danielle drops truth bombs right and left during this week’s fire-filled episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Married co-hosts, Garrett J & Danielle K White, engage in powerful conversations on the topics of mommy guilt, "Danielle the Stripper," what all men want to feel, the benefits of therapy, and the 4 P's that are 100% necessary for a healthy, thriving, and sexually fulfilling marriage relationship.”
(CLICK HERE to view this episode on YouTube)
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“When I felt solid as a producer, a protector, and a provider as a man, it allowed me to step back and recognize how much I was fucking up my provocateur. I wasn’t showing up as a provocateur; I was showing up as a pervert and a pussy… not as a man.”
—Garrett J White“If you’re going to have sexy, seductive moments, you have to create those. You create your fantasy; you create your provocateur. That shit doesn’t just show up. Your wife’s not going to give you a blow job in the kitchen after working ten hours.”
—Danielle K White
FIVE STAGES OF MARRIAGE
divorceyourwife.com
WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
FASHION, FITNESS, FAME, HAIR & CLOTHES
Follow Danielle on Instagram @daniellekwhite and dkwstyling.com
THE MARRIED GAME
Keith Yackey guides men to figure out the sex game inside of marriage.
marriedgame.com
"This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast is filled with a smorgasbord of topics, including the top two things that can fuck up a relationship, the one thing guys really love to hear from their woman, the three things women want to receive from their man, the dangers of dancing on the line, and sizzling details of the White’s recent Mexico adventure."
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“That’s probably why Mexico was so great because I actually relished in your power. It turns me on!”
—Garrett J White“As I rise in power, you better fucking keep up with me.”
—Danielle K White
DATE NIGHT TOPIC 👉 If you are not dating your spouse, you’ve got to get off the couch and make it happen.
What are you currently holding back on in conversation with your spouse? What are you not talking about that can ultimately brew into you dong and thinking stupid shit? Talk about it!
FIVE STAGES OF MARRIAGE
divorceyourwife.com
WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
FASHION, FAME, HAIR & CLOTHES
Follow Danielle on Instagram @daniellekwhite.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“So… if I cut my hair, shave my face, and put a suit on, all you want to do is get me naked?”
—Garrett J White“What do women want? They want to feel safe, secure and have a commitment. That’s all they want.”
—Danielle K White
FIVE STAGES OF MARRIAGE
divorceyourwife.com
WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
FASHION, FAME, HAIR & CLOTHES
Follow Danielle on Instagram @daniellekwhite.
"In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Carlos Alvarez Roque leads Danielle and Garrett on an adventure down memory lane where the details of their extraordinary life are revealed. We discover how they went from nine breakups during their dating years to ultimately becoming each other’s ride or die, and how they created multi-million dollar empires that are impacting men, women, and families today and for generations to come."
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“I was so intimidated because of how beautiful she was and felt so not worthy to be with her that I would find a way to be emotionally unstable and then break up with her.”
–Garrett J White“Now that we have kids, I was thinking, why didn’t we have sex all over the house all the time before we had them? We had so much freedom, but we didn’t even know!”
–Danielle K White
FIVE STAGES OF MARRIAGE
divorceyourwife.com
THE WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
FASHION, FAME, HAIR & CLOTHES
Follow Danielle on Instagram @daniellekwhite.
"Welcome to a blush-worthy, sizzling, and nugget-filled episode of the Date Your Wife podcast where nothing is off-limits, and the sexual tension is off the charts and at an all-time high between mega-producers and married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White."
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“Who are you going to have to become to be able to pull this off where the things that you say you want are normal and natural?”
–Garrett J White“I was a cute eighteen-year-old. Everything on paper looked bad and said no, this guy is not for you!”
–Danielle K White
NON-NEGOTIABLES
- Get clear about what you want.
- What are you wiling to sacrifice?
- Inside of that sacrifice, who must you become to get what you want?
FIVE STAGES OF MARRIAGE
divorceyourwife.com
THE WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
FASHION, FAME, HAIR & CLOTHES
Follow Danielle on Instagram @daniellekwhite.
"Do you find yourself judging others about their workout routine, all the while downing gallons of diet coke? What about the picture-perfect couple who, in public, seem to have it all...yet behind the scenes are filing for divorce? This week's episode has some plain talk about health in our bodies and in our marriages, becoming better versions of ourselves, and a conversation about how aligning their lives with God has shifted the Whites' life in the past few months. Welcome to another episode of the Date Your Wife podcast with co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White."
“Even as hot and on fire as we are right now as individuals and as a couple, the version of us ten years from now will look at us right now and say, ‘You have no idea…'"
—Garrett J White
“Growing is not just about you. Yes, it’s so very fulfilling and rewarding for you; however, you impact and are an example to so many other people by becoming a better version of you.”
—Danielle K White
*To watch this episode, Click Here.
"In this episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, Garrett and Danielle share how a recent discovery of a tangled web of lies woven by their teenage daughter exposes them as parents. Their conversation leads to possible causes and solutions, as well as realizations about their parenting strategy or lack thereof. The reality is, your kids are always hiding something from you, and it's your job to find out what it is."
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“I’m finding out I may be like the good cop, meaning the silent, stoic guy who doesn’t yell; he just states the facts and convicts people.”
–Garrett J White“I realize I gave her too much freedom. That’s my fault. And now I’m trying to course-correct to get back on track.”
—Danielle K White
PARENTING CHALLENGE
What is your parenting strategy?
FIVE STAGES OF MARRIAGE
divorceyourwife.com
THE WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
FASHION, FAME, HAIR & CLOTHES
Follow Danielle on Instagram @daniellekwhite.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“I’m thinking we look like a badass Olympic surf team and the rest of the people are thinking, look at that cute gay couple going on their anniversary!”
--Garrett J White"If you have the power to stay consistent for a long period of time, you’re going to have success."
—Danielle K White
HIGHLIGHTS 1. How taking trips by yourself helps create your own persona outside of the relationship 2. Connect deeply with your spouse before one or the other leaves on trips or getaways. 3. It’s the moments that keep your marriage together. 4. People want short-term instant gratification vs long-term investment. There is no short-term fix. 5. You don’t understand the snowball effect of you playing small and settling. 6. Get clear about what vision you want as a couple. What would have to be true, and who would we have to become? What would have to be true about our life for the reality that we saw in the future to become possible?
To watch this episode click here: dateyourwifenow.com
COMMUNICATION CHALLENGE
You take one step forward to being just a little less shitty as a partner by going on Date Night this week.
FIVE STAGES OF MARRIAGE
divorceyourwife.com
THE WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
"This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast is about making financial decisions, particularly when it comes to the ‘big’ ones. This is typically a hot topic for most couples, and the Whites are no exception. Their back-and-forth duel ultimately comes down to learning how to submit to the other’s insanity and accepting it as part of the equation."
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Yes, we are fallible. Yes, we fuck a lot of things up. But the cool this is, we keep winning. Why? Because we keep submitting."
--Garrett J White
“If I expect a man to show up as a man and be masculine, then I have to show up as a woman… and let him be the man.”
—Danielle K White
COMMUNICATION CHALLENGE:
Choose a topic and then ask yourself the question,
"How can I pre-frame this in a way that will allow for us to have a rational conversation?
THE 5 STAGES OF MARRIAGE:
divorceyourwife.com
WAKE UP WARRIOR CHALLENGE:
This is a challenge for men and women looking for the weapons and tools to having it all across Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
wakeupwarriorchallenge.com
CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE EPISODE ON YOUTUBE
Always entertaining and willing to go where most won’t, Garrett and Danielle are keeping it real and raw in this week’s spicy episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, where they pull back the curtain on all things sex & relationships.
- What’s the difference between sex and intimate sex?
- What is vaginal masturbation?
- How much power do women have with the sex card?
- How does the Stack fit into all of this?
- What about Danielle’s fitness competition journey?
- How do you date your spouse?
- And...what was the last piece of the puzzle that ultimately set their marriage and sex life on fire?
Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast!
——————
CLICK HERE TO WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE
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DATE NIGHT CHALLENGE:
If you have something you want to do on Date Night, then schedule it.
——————
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
“You’ve become the sexual monster that I’ve wanted to be dominated by; the woman who tells me, ‘I conquered you!”’
—Garrett J White
“When you have sex without intimacy, I’m a personal vibrator.”
—Garrett J White
“If I’m not connecting with you, we’ll have sex to have sex. But I hold my emotions and vulnerability, and I don’t let myself even enjoy it or have fun.”
—Danielle K White
“I hated the idea of having somebody tell me, "You can spend money on this, but you can’t spend money on that." I wanted to keep my independence.”
—Danielle K White
——————
Divorceyourwife.com - Video series that walks you through the 5 Stages of Relationships.
Wake Up Warrior Challenge - The Art & Science of Having It All.
"After a semi-brief hiatus, Garrett J & Danielle K White, dynamic, charismatic, entertaining, and powerful mega-producers, are back! In this highly-anticipated 'welcome back' episode, the couple brings us up to speed about their family life and businesses. They also touch on the five stages of divorce, and what ultimately re-ignited what is now their ride-or-die relationship. Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast."
Quote of the Week:
“You have to jump the gap, divorce the marriage as you know it as, divorce yourself as the way you see yourself, divorce the game in your family the way it’s been…you have to let go. Divorce is mandatory.“
—Garrett J White
“You have to look at what you want the end result to be and then you have to reverse engineer and figure out what those steps are in between to get you what you want.“
—Danielle K WhiteClick Here to watch this episode on YouTube.
*Repeat from February 2019.
“In today’s episode, we learn about Danielle’s epic dream that may or may not include Matthew McConaughey; we discover how men and women process guilt (and where that guilt stems from), and how the life-altering seasons of ultramarathon running and Kokoro training profoundly influenced and affected Garrett…and ultimately their marriage.”*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication
Point #1: Guilt: The Enemy * Danielle hates feeling guilty. “I think guilt is the enemy, and that nothing can pull you into a downward spiral faster than guilt. When I feel guilt, I ask myself why I’m feeling this way. Can I fix it? What can I do NOT to feel this?” * Women feel all kinds of guilt, whether it be mommy guilt, business guilt, sex guilt, or even food guilt. When she’s making decisions, Danielle asks herself if this will set her up to have a shitty day the next day. If so, “I have self-control and self-discipline.
QUESTION
As a woman, how do you process guilt?
Point #2: Attack With the Stack * null * Guilt plagues guys in a massive way, and they, too, experience all kinds of guilt inside of marriage, family, and business. If they work long hours to provide for their family, they feel guilty for being away from them so much. And then, if they’re away and DON’T produce, they feel guilty about that, with an extra dose of shame and worthlessness thrown in. * Garrett deals with guilt by using a powerful tool called the Stack. “I ask myself a series of questions that help me flip my guilt. I do this through an app on my cell phone, Attack with the Stack, where I’m able to deal with and process my thoughts and stories.”
QUESTION
As a man, how do you process guilt?
Point #3: The Dream * Danielle’s recent dream was like a blockbuster adventure, mystery, and horror movie rolled into one. Garrett & Danielle explore it and the possible meanings it could hold, and he reminds her, “You have dreams, and your dreams mean something.” * Danielle: I think this dream came because I have been anxious about work. This year, I have taken on the role of CEO in addition to being a salon owner, an education director, launching my new ISLA hairline, and having a baby. I’ve snapped back strong from this baby, and mentally I feel strong, but I think I was scared that it was going to be too overwhelming. I think I was just scared of the unknown.
QUESTION
Do you or your spouse have dreams that carry timely messages?
Point #4: Running From Life * null * During an especially difficult three year period for the White’s, Garrett became an ultra-marathon runner, often running up to twenty miles a day. Danielle claims he was running from life. * Garrett: Being an ultra-marathon runner was deeply powerful for me. Do you know what it did for me? I learned how to physically hurt for days and days and days on end with no complaint at all. It just fucking hurt. It’s almost like you learn how to hurt and be ok with hurting.
QUESTION
What do you do to run away from your problems?
Point #5: Every Mom Has a Different Path * Garrett & Danielle have a conversation about the different choices women make today as either working-outside-the-home moms, stay-at-home moms, CEO moms, or a combination of these. Garrett feels that many women are miserable, depressed, and selling themselves short when they are stay-at-home moms, although he fully supports any choice women make. * Danielle: I love being a mom. I love everything about it. But I also know I love doing stuff for myself. I think a lot of women pursue things outside of being a mom, but they look at it as a hobby. And I did that in the beginning, but then I was faced with a situation where I didn’t know if I was going to stay married. This is what ultimately birthed NBR, DKW Salon, her education company, and the ISLA hairline.
QUESTION
How do you both feel about the choices you have made up to this point?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about this phrase, “I wish I could just be a stay-at-home mom.” Does this trigger you? What does it actually mean to you?
Date Night Topic:
Who are your superheroes? Why?
Quote of the Week:
“I’ll be hurting and suffering in business with so much shit to do, so I’ll take a deep breath and say, ‘There is no finish line, this will not end quickly, this is going to fucking hurt badly, and… it is what it is.”
—Garrett J White
“I’m super logical, and I flip things because I hate that feeling of guilt. I know if I take the feeling out of it and logically look at something – even if I’m in the wrong – I can understand it, let go, and try to do better.”
—Danielle K White
Garrett and Danielle are proponents of dating your spouse AT LEAST once a week. They understand that adding young children to the mix can sometimes present a challenge but know that your relationship MUST come first if you want it to last. In this week’s episode, the White’s share tips for what has worked for them, as well as what hasn’t worked for them, in their quest to find babysitters and nannies. Where they ultimately hit the jackpot might actually surprise you.
“Encore presentation from January 2019.”
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Routines & Consistency * Both Garrett and Danielle feel like this podcast has been so good for their marriage. It’s as if the listening audience has become their sounding board and allows them to be better communicators with each other without completely flipping their lids and going off on each other. * Danielle: In life, once you get out of your routine it’s so easy to lose your momentum. It’s in doing the small things consistently that keep us on track to build the large things; it’s the small and consistent things in marriage that keep a relationship stable and progressing.
QUESTION
What are you doing consistently inside of your relationship that is noticeably making a difference in the way you feel about and communciate with each other?
Point #2: Baby Talk * In the land of pregnancy and babies, when a woman is overdue it is a common understanding that having sex helps induce labor. Danielle’s experience with their two previous babies was that within an hour of having sex, the contractions began. Garrett attributes it to his “very aggressive sperm.” * Danielle’s well thought out plans for the gender reveal went sideways as the waves washed out the pink and blue smoke bombs she had carefully buried in the sand. Garrett accidentally reveals the gender of the baby during the podcast.
QUESTION
Did your gender reveal turn out as planned?
Point #3: Family Affair? * A lot of times, people think they can only trust their family to watch their kids. Danielle has discovered that having someone other than family members might actually be better for you and your kids. * From her personal experience, she would rather hire someone to follow her structure and routine instead of having free help from family who want to do their own thing.
QUESTION
What has been your experience with family members watching your children?
Point #4: On-Demand Babysitter Gone Awry * Garrett wanted to have an on-demand babysitter who was always available. He paid her a salary and got her an apartment close by their home so they would have someone ready to care for the kids whenever he and Danielle wanted to go out. It evolved into a sense of entitlement and a situation where Danielle was having to dance around the babysitter’s schedule. * Danielle: Finding a babysitter is like building a business. You assume that people you hire will know what to do, but you should never assume. Find someone that you like and then be clear about the outcome you expect while they’re there. Always keep them in check. People want to know how to win whether it’s a nanny or an employee and will start to retreat when they don’t know how to please you.
QUESTION
Have you set clear outcomes and expectations for your babysitters?
Point #5: “Care.com: Your Shit is Legit” * By far the best decision Garrett & Danielle have made when it comes to finding a babysitter or nanny for their children is going through care.com. Garrett advises, “Request your babysitters driven by a dollar value, and when they turn in their application, make sure they send you a video.” * “You’re investing in the guardianship of your children. If you’re paying a lot of money, set clear outcomes and expectations. If you look at the overall investment on a monthly basis, you’re investing in your marriage. 1-What’s your marriage worth? 2-How much are your children worth?”
QUESTION
Are you being a cheap bastard when it comes to hiring someone to watch your children?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about Date Night, and the challenges you are currently facing that are stopping you from going out consistently with your spouse. Get clear about what you want from your marriage, and what you can do to begin making Date Night a top priority in your marriage.
Date Night Topic:
Have a brainstorming session about the things you and your spouse want to do on your Date Nights for the next couple of months.
Quote of the Week:
“If you care about your marriage and want things to work out, go on Date Nights. If you care about your communication and sex life, go on Date Nights. To pull that off, you’re going to have to go through some trial and error before you find what works for you.”
—Garrett J White
“Whether it’s family or someone you pay, there are really no excuses when it comes to creating Date Night and space for yourselves as a couple. It becomes a matter of making it a priority.”
—Danielle K White
The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White hold nothing back in this week’s Date Your Wife podcast where they tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants and 40 pounds of excess fat around your midsection sends a clear message to your spouse that you don’t give a shit.
This is an encore presentation from April 3, 2018.
The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White hold nothing back in this week’s Date Your Wife podcast where they tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants and 40 pounds of excess fat around your midsection sends a clear message to your spouse that you don’t give a shit.
This is an encore presentation from April 3, 2018.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Deep Communication Is Vital * Communication is vital to your sanity and the health of your marriage. At the end of the day, it’s about getting to a place where you can have hard conversations. * Garrett & Danielle used alcohol to support them down that path. It opened up space where they could go deeper, beyond “surface” conversation. It also created the opportunity for them to experience sexuality with each other, even when they were arguing and fighting, which is a part of what kept them going.
QUESTION
What tools do you use that help you and your spouse have deeper conversations without setting off fireworks?
Point #2: When Alcohol Becomes a Problem * In time, alcohol was no longer working for them. Garrett had become less patient and was quick to lose his temper with Danielle and their eldest daughter, causing him to decide to walk away from alcohol (at the time of recording this episode.) * Danielle: On Date Nights, drinking was a treat and was fun for us. It allowed us to let go of the day and just relax. After work, I would come home and drink a glass of wine with dinner, but when that one glass turned into two or three, I realized I didn’t really want to be that person drinking a glass of wine every night.
QUESTION
What habits have you taken on in your marriage that are no longer serving you? What would it take for you to make the decision to walk away from them?
Point #3: Dress the Part * How you dress sends a non-verbal message of energy towards your spouse every single day. Date Night changed everything for Garrett. He was dressing in an old plaid shirt, but when he started dressing up, he knew that he looked good and sexy, which translated into energy and confidence. * Danielle: I’m a fan of dressing to feel on point. What energy am I putting off? Like I don’t give a shit? Instead of putting on my “mom” outfit, I’m going to throw on some jeans and some cute shoes just to make me feel like I have put myself together for the day. I feel better doing it, and I have a more productive day.
QUESTION
What changes are you willing to make to your wardrobe to reflect a sexier, more confident you?
Point #4: Straight Talk * Garrett: There are a lot of women who only dress up once a week on Date Night. I’m not telling you you have to dress up like a princess every single day, all day long. What I am telling you is this: how you dress impacts the energy of what your husband sees when he comes home. If he comes home to the “frumpy sweatpant lulu lady in constant ponytails,” there’s going to be a lack of attraction. * Garrett: A vast majority of the married men that I have met are in worse shape than their wives. Men, your body did not go to the shitshow bringing babies into this world. This is like pushing a pumpkin out of your penis. You’re carrying bullshit weight, and your wife’s not turned on about it either – not just because of your body, but because you don’t feel powerful about the way you look.
QUESTION
Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself: Would I be turned on by my appearance?
Point #5: Let Me Hear Your Body Talk * Garrett: Let’s pretend that your body is a witness of your commitment to your wife, that what you’ve done to your body and how it looks is currently communicating more to your wife about your commitment to your marriage than anything you’re trying to tell her. * It’s not about six-packs, bikini beach bodies, or being super shredded. At the end of the day, you’ve got to be on point about the way you feel about your body, and inside of that, you have to feel on point about how you package yourself. It’s all about energy and what makes you feel confident.
QUESTION
How do you feel about your body?
Communication Challenge:
What can you do in the way you are currently presenting yourself to your partner physically? Write down something in the way you dress that would start sending the message, “Hey, I actually care about myself!”
Date Night Topic:
Talk about what you can do inside of your marriage that would allow you to isolate and discuss one or two of your problems as a couple.
Quote of the Week:
“To all you men who let their bodies go and never have to carry the children, you haven’t had to get pregnant or carry the baby for nine months and then push a fucking baby out of your penis. You literally have no excuse. You want to get laid, you want to get connected, but what are you communicating to your wife when you come out of the shower in a towel with your extra 30-40 pounds? No matter what, your wife is not turned on by this. Your lights are getting turned down, and there’s no show going on because you’re not actually showing that you give a shit.”
—Garrett J White
“Ladies, if you’re in a good mood and your husband’s in a bad mood, don’t let him bring you down to that level. Understand it’s probably not even about you. Walk a little sexy, be flirty, go kiss his ear a little bit, smile, rub up against him, turn on your charm. Whatever they’re pissed about will go away – they just can’t help it!”
—Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny * There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again. * Garrett: Although we didn’t get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice.
QUESTION
What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce?
Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person? * The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit. * Garrett: There’s a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it’s actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, “Am I with the wrong person?”
QUESTION
Is what you’re posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy?
Point #3: It’s Just How It Is * Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don’t even know they’re surviving. The belief is, “This is just how it is.” * If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it’s not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you have the belief of “it’s just how it is?”
Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement * The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don’t go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce. * “What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?”
QUESTION
If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married?
Point #5: It’s a Choice * Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today. * No matter what state your marriage is in today, there’s another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there’s a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose.
QUESTION
What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage?
Communication Challenge:
How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship.
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship?
Quote of the Week:
“There’s a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it’s the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work.”
—Garrett J White
“People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.”
—Danielle K White
Previously Aired on April 30, 2019.
In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White are coming to you from the 38th-floor inside a corner suite of the Four Seasons in Las Vegas where they are celebrating Danielle’s 36th birthday. This week’s conversation is about how the unification of your standards with your spouse builds the ultimate standard, and how you can’t pull that off unless you have actually connected with your own standard.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…COMMUNICATION Point #1: Standards * One of the gifts of being married is that we each come into it with radically different standards for life. We have standards about sexuality, parenting, making money, how we spend our time, etc., based upon our past, how we were raised, and our mindsets. * Danielle: I do have a high standard based upon how I was raised, but what I also notice is that I’m an extremely experience-based, detailed person who makes me hold things to a different level or standard than most people.
QUESTION
What are some standards you hold yourself to?
Point #2: Tolerance * We tolerate what our standards are. Where this ends up in collision is inside of marriage due to the different standards of each spouse. * Garrett has a standard of emotional connection, which is leaving people better than when you first meet them, something that comes very naturally for him. Danielle, on the other hand, will tolerate almost no communication with other people.
QUESTION
What are some of the differing standards inside your marriage which have been a source for collision?
Point #3: It Takes Two to Tango * Garrett: Without my standards for communication, Danielle would have limited her communication. She would never have launched a podcast in the hair industry, nor would she have launched her own salon or training company. * Danielle: I hold the standard of where we live and what we wear. When I push to get nicer things in life, we push more in business. And when we push more in business, it not only affects our family, but it also creates multiple job opportunities for multiple families.
QUESTION
What have your differing standards created inside of your world?
Point #4: Own Your Standards * Garrett: We take a stand for each individual to own their identity, where neither one is a doormat or a steamroller, but where we both come to terms with who we are. My standards say we do one thing, and Danielle’s standards say we do another. * As you come to own your standards, it allows you actually to embrace the standards of other people. Together, you create this ultimate standard as a couple. You begin to be more committed to each other, and out of that is birthed something deeper than love, which is respect.
QUESTION
How has owning your individual standards created the ultimate standard inside your marriage?
Point #5: Co-creation * Garrett: The standards across both sides of co-creation have allowed for Danielle and I to build our brands, our businesses, and our family. The unique side about all of this is there are very few powerful couples taking a stand for marriage that works, which requires you to be clear in your standards. * Danielle: I realize that in managing our own empires and managing a marriage – and managing it well – it’s kind of unheard of. We each have huge visions for our brands, and we’re proving that it can be done; that we can have those individual standards but also come together to create more as a couple.
QUESTION
What have you been able to co-create as a couple that you most likely never would have on your own?
Communication Challenge:
Where can you push in your relationship to become more together, to grow together, and unite as a couple?
Date Night Topic:
What can you create as a couple by uniting your individual standards?
Quote of the Week:
“The mix of standards between a married couple blend together to create the ultimate cocktail of creation.”
—Garrett J White
“I think we push each other in all the right ways. I think that’s what a relationship is supposed to be: pushing one another to a healthy place.”
—Danielle K White
*Episode Replay from September of 2019.
The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.*
Click here to watch this episode on YouTube
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication
Point #1: The Hamster Wheel * When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel. * “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.”
QUESTION
Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?
Point #2: False Lift * When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how. * You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed.
QUESTION
What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you?
Point #3: Collision * The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel. * Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are.
QUESTION
Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?
Point #4: Shut Down * Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.” * Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.”
QUESTION
Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?
Point #5: The Stack * Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.” * During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.”
QUESTION
How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry?
Communication Challenge:
Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward.
Date Night Topic:
Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on.
Quote of the Week:
“If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.”
—Garrett J White
“I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!”
—Danielle K White
warriorgreens.com
dkwstyling.com
**This is a previously aired episode from April 2018.
Today’s conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship.*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Men Must Produce * When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, there’s a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you. * Danielle: Generally, women want men to take care of them. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to ‘be the man’ and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he’s the one producing.
QUESTION
How does this ring true for you as a couple?
Point #2: Money is a Tool * Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. We have friends who celebrate their success and use money as a tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they’re broke. * Danielle: There was a five year period where we were experiencing rapid growth, and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I’ve come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone – it’s just a matter of me being comfortable with me.
QUESTION
Are you living in a scarcity or abundant mindset while being surrounded by your wealth?
Point #3: You Must Leap * Garrett: In 2009, after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn’t have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance, and something in my soul said, “You must fucking leap!” * Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew that he was capable of doing and becoming so much more.
QUESTION
Where in your life have you settled?
Point #4: Don’t Settle * Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, it forces you to become a new man. * Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there are consequences; but if I stay in the safe zone, then I can ride this out forever. If you’re listening to this and you’re feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it.
QUESTION
Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith?
Point #5: Team Work * Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon, and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me. * Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way.
QUESTION
What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other’s growth?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation as a couple, and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off?
Date Night Topic:
Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date-Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life.
Quote of the Week:
“My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce, and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that, we use money production as a way to accelerate that.”
—Garrett J White
“Be you at every level.”
—Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Cell Phone Game Changer * Cell phones have changed the game for kids, forcing kids today to grow up much faster, and at the same time, they’re NOT growing up. They’ve gotten really good at being able to communicate via text, but they haven’t learned how to commutate face-to-face. * Danielle recalls waiting for boys to call her when she was in Junior High. She was nervous and sweating, hoping she wouldn’t sound like a dork or stutter. Today, it’s a matter of text, erase, edit, and send.
QUESTION
How has communication changed since you were a teen?
Point #2: Bed Time Shenanigans * The bed-time routine at the White household can sometimes look more like a shit show, with their seventh-grader going into psycho mode while Garrett takes away her cell phone. * Unbeknownst to Garrett, who is in the middle of a yelling match in one room, Danielle is in another room consoling their seven-year-old who has a pillow over her ears saying, “I hate this part!”
QUESTION
What does your bedtime routine look like?
Point #3: Old School Discipline * When their oldest daughter back-talks Danielle, Garrett wonders if her mother would have tolerated that behavior. As a seventh-grader, Danielle remembers being backhanded by her mother while they were driving. * As an eighth-grader, Garrett found himself wandering the streets of their new city for four hours after his mom kicked him out of the van for fighting with his siblings. That was before cell phones.
QUESTION
How do your disciplining methods differ from those of your parents?
Point #4: Jump Through the Windows * Danielle: When kids are little, they operate on your agenda; when they turn into teenagers, you operate on their agenda – that’s your window “in.” In order to gain that connection, I’m constantly looking for my windows. * Garrett: We have some traction in her world. The key is being present with what her issues are and what’s going on in her world. Perhaps we actually do know what we’re doing.
QUESTION
What can you do to be more aware of those little windows of opportunity to connect with your children?
Point #5: Navigating the Parental Waters of Divorce * It was only a couple years ago that Garrett’s nineteen-year-old son wouldn’t talk to him. Today, he is an integral part of the Warrior landscape as he and Garrett forge a new relationship that has recently included bringing Garrett’s ex-wife and her family into the picture. * A family intervention during the Warrior Woman event in the summer of 2018 proved not only healing but life-transforming. Garrett and his ex-wife were able to take radical responsibility, let go of stories, and come to a peaceful place, demonstrating that anything is possible.
QUESTION
How are you navigating the waters of parental divorce?
Communication Challenge:
Discuss the challenges cell phones have brought into your family.
Date Night Topic:
How can you better support each other in how you parent? Brainstorm different ideas and strategies and choose one or two to begin implementing.
Quote of the Week:
“The emotional fortitude of children isn’t what it used to be. Kids today are growing up intellectually very quickly, with great articulation and communication, but emotionally they’re going backward.”
—Garrett J White
“Because you are so mad and so bitter, and are not dealing with your own shit and your own stories, it is ultimately holding you back.”
—Danielle K White
* This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from May 2018.
Being married can be a complete shit show AND amazing… all at the same time! While most marriages end up in sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have committed to creating something a little bit better than that and a bit more fun. Join them in this week’s podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all-important topic of communication.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark * You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don’t fight, and things are generally good, but there’s no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together…and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel. * Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom-tailored design jackets.
QUESTION
When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel?
Point #2: Sugar & Spice * Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it’s the spice they’re trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I’m talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations – it’s everything! * Danielle: There’s a lot of spice in our marriage, and we collide a lot with our personalities – both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice, for me, is “I fucking hate you,” which turns into “I fucking love you.”
QUESTION
How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy?
Point #3: Love Notes * Making daily deposits into your family’s life is part of living the Warrior’s Way, which is part of something called the CORE 4. Men typically don’t know how to communicate their feelings and don’t send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands. * While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he’s having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language.
QUESTION
What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes?
Point #4: Give and Take * Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband. * Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first, I wasn’t allowing space for him to do that.
QUESTION
Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them?
Point #5: Dance With Me * Garrett: As you can tell, we’re still working on this, which is the ability actually to communicate with and understand the language of our partner. * Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: 1- appreciate the love language they receive in, and 2-learn to give the love language that the people we’re married to want to receive.
QUESTION
What does your daily dance of communication look like?
Communication Challenge:
Danielle: Garrett needs to be told, “I love you,” but my communication style is different. How about you? Is your communication style verbal or silent? What about your spouse’s? Do you think one is wrong and one is right?
Date Night Topic:
For women, what is your husband’s love language, and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife?
Quote of the Week:
“I’m essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning.”
—Garrett J White
“We’ll argue about a topic, and one of us has to reach over to the other side and reciprocate eventually. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home.”
—Danielle K White
Encore presentation from January 2018
Join co-hosts Danielle and Garrett J White with Week Two of the Date Your Wife Podcast, in which they share two VERY different views of how they were raised with money (or without) and how that has affected their relationship as a married couple.
In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Having Expensive Tastes In Which Money Matters * Money causes a ton of chaos within marriage, which will make or break the relationship, forcing you to deal with your spouse on a whole new level. * Danielle was raised by entrepreneurs that focused on having a home that was up to date and something to have pride in, while to Garrett having a lot of money was unattainable unless you were a doctor with a swimming pool in your backyard, like a kid he remembers from school.
QUESTION
What kind of background were you raised in that has effected the way in which you approach your outlook on money within marriage?
Point #2: The War of Spending Money * Danielle spent money because she wanted to experience life, but for Garrett, money was about spending money on business, which he still struggles with, as they throw each other under the bus in how they spend money. * According to Danielle is being a selective cheap bastard until her perspective of her role as a Stylist rather than a Hobbyist she was able to change.
QUESTION
If you could throw your spouse under the bus, what do you think they struggle with when it comes to spending money?
Point #3: ATMs and Porn Stars * Garrett felt like the only way he had value was if he made money, and therefore when he makes money Danielle should put out for sex any time he wants. * Women want to feel safe and secure, so it becomes hard to have sex with him when he’s no longer attractive as the Producer, and the man in the relationship doesn’t feel like he’s providing value to the relationship because of this role as well, in which his balls get cut off mentally.
QUESTION
What does being a Producer do to bring out the sexual dynamic within marriage?
Point #4: Learning from What Didn’t Work: The Cancun Contract * With the Cancun Contract, it was 3 for 3: 3 Gifts for 3 sex sessions which led to feeling more like they were purchasing prostitution in an attempt to give their marriage a shot at what would work for them based off of their own love languages for 3 weeks, learning that using money as a manipulator didn’t work but ended to bigger breakthroughs later on. * Garrett learned to invest because he wanted his wife to be happy, looking at money as a tool, not an asset by shifting his wife towards being the asset, showing that Danielle matters to him.
QUESTION
Where can you invest in your spouse with no strings attached, investing in experiences with your spouse and family? Where do you still need to give yourself permission to receive without guilt?
Point #5: I Want You To Want To * Hold yourself to a higher standard in order to push your spouse to become more, believing in them more than they believe in themselves. * At one point, Garrett made a huge realization that sometimes the man is the ATM, and you need to be OK with it because it shows that she is worth the investment. Danielle is a producer on her own, but she wanted him to want to be a man in seeing the value of investing in her. Now, they have both surrendered and invested in each other.
QUESTION
How can a woman powerfully support and invest emotionally in her husband to encourage him to become a bigger producer?
Date Night Topic:
What improvements can be made in regards to the topic of money?
Quote of the Week:
“I was raised to feel that you could get whatever you wanted in life if you are willing to work, but no one was going to save you. I didn’t know that I could want anything more than what I had. I learned that I needed to demonstrate in my marriage that my wife is worth spending money on and worth the investment.”
—Garrett J White
“If you want to be treated like a Queen, you’ve got to treat your man like a King. Women need to own their part and let go of the guilt when your husband invests in you. Stop getting stuck in the stories that your man isn’t fulfilling you, and realize that you may not be fulfilling his needs. If he’s putting in effort, take the gifts he’s giving you and see how it feels to then harmonize in fulfilling his needs.”
—Danielle White
Encore presentation from August 28, 2018.
Garrett and Dannielle discuss the importance of getting away as a couple in this week’s episode.
____________________________________________________________________
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Reconnection Brings Rejuvenation * Danielle:I think it’s crucial to have time together to reconnect so that when you go back home to the kids, you are rejuvenated. * When your relationship is on point, kids notice. They can pick up on the energy between you and your significant other.
QUESTION
How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary is important to you?
Point #2: Mommy Guilt * Danielle: Mommy guilt happens to all the moms I talk to. Even though you’re excited to get away, and you end up having a great time, there’s always this weird anxiety leading up to the vacation.
- I feel that anxiety never really goes away unless you just push forward. You have to go on these trips and realize that your kids are going to be just fine.
QUESTION
How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money?
Point #3: Hiring Help * Garrett: Can you see how your entire world has been held hostage by the fact that the only people you will trust to watch your children are your parents?
- The entire game from a guy’s perspective comes down to you as a man creating space for your wife. One of the big hurdles you’re going to have to overcome is getting your wife to be okay with hiring help that is not free, and that is not part of the family.
QUESTION
How do you and your wife feel about hiring help other than your family”
Point #4: Cashing In Chips * Danielle: Free help is never free. I feel like there is this debt with the Universe with family. “I watched your kids, so now you have to watch mine.” “I brought you dinner, so you have to bring me dinner, too.” There’s always this unspoken feeling of cashing in of favors with family and close friends.
- There’s no such thing as free help when you go into it with the mindset of, “I will do this for you if you do this for me.”
QUESTION
How often do you use your parents and friends instead of hiring someone?
Point #5: What’s Important to You? * Garrett: Some guys say, ” I don’t have enough money to get a babysitter!” I say bullshit. You have enough money to put gas in your car, and you’ll have enough money to get what you believe is important to you.
- Space away from the kids creates perspective and power; perspective on your children, perspective on you as a couple, and perspective on your life.
QUESTION
What are your priorities?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation around the topic of Free Help vs Hired Help.
Date Night Topic:
Talk about the places you would like to go on your quarterly trips together, set the dates, and begin making plans for them.
Quote of the Week:
“When you move away from working in the family and in the relationship, and start to work on the relationship and on the family by taking trips and date nights away, you gain perspective. And that perspective is your power.”
—Garrett J White
“All you ladies out there, stop trying to be superwoman. It’s not serving you. Surrender to the fact that date nights are important and vacations are important, regardless of the anxiety you have surrounding your children. Guess what? You’re not the only one that can parent your children.
—Danielle K White
*Encore episode from January 2019.
This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast comes to you from beautiful Palm Beach, Florida, where the White’s are attending Tony Robbin’s Business Mastery Event. As they huddle in their bed trying to warm up from the ice-box temperatures they’ve been experiencing all day, they share stories about how Tony’s events have impacted and shifted their personal and business lives in major ways.*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Hippies & Weird Shit * Personal development hasn’t always been at the top of Danielle’s list of priorities. Up until a few short years ago, she equated it to a bunch of hippies sitting around hugging trees. * “Garrett was actually into some weird shit at different times during our marriage. The few personal development events I DID attend with him left me feeling totally creeped out.”
QUESTION
What experiences have you had with personal development events?
Point #2: Date With Destiny * After viewing Tony Robbin’s “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix in December of 2016, Danielle began having a change of heart towards self-development. Tony’s approach actually made sense to her. “It seemed to be a more logical approach and less weird shit.” * As fate would have it, Tony’s son was attending Warrior Week at about the same time. As if right on cue, the Universe delivered up two tickets to Tony’s next event, Date With Destiny, a mere three weeks away.
QUESTION
Have you or your spouse ever attended Date With Destiny?
Point #3: How Big Can You Dream? * Danielle’s experience at Date With Destiny changed her thinking in a lot of ways. One of the biggest impacts for her was the exercise where they were told to dream big and write down EVERYTHING they wanted. * From this one exercise, Garrett and Danielle ended up making some major decisions in their marriage and businesses which resulted in some huge shifts for them that year.
QUESTION
Where in your world have you experienced a huge shift after hearing or experiencing something?
Point #4: Give Yourself Permission * Garrett and Danielle had to leave their environment over and over again to get to a place where they could ultimately choose a life that was theirs as a couple and as a family. * Garrett: Buying this house, investing in our family, and moving into this home literally shattered an entire box or frame of ideology that surrounded my brain.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you need to give yourself permission do to something that you know would yield big results or big shifts?
Point #5: It’s in the Numbers * The biggest thing that Danielle is getting out of Business Mastery is confirming what she already suspected: she’s got to know her numbers better than she does. * Event speaker Keith Cunningham taught,” As a business owner, there is no value in a number; the value is knowing what to do about the numbers that you see.”
QUESTION
What does it mean to you to not only know your numbers but to also know what to do about them?
Communication Challenge:
Grab your journals and carve out some time to Dream Big. Talk about and write down EVERYTHING you’d like to do within certain time frames, think way outside the box, and hold nothing back.
Date Night Topic:
Search out events you can attend this year TOGETHER for your individual growth AND for your growth as a couple. Choose one event and put it on your calendar. Make the leap. Your future is worth the investment.
Quote of the Week:
“The trifecta of insanity: choose to be married, choose to have kids, choose to have a business. You do those three things, and you’re either a glutton for punishment, a psychopath, or you want to have the fast train to big fucking results based on the power and the pressure of having to rise.”
—Garrett J White
“It was an “against all odds” situation because of the story we had been telling ourselves. But when we actually put our foot forward and started entertaining the idea, EVERYTHING started to fall into place for us.”
—Danielle K White
Encore presentation from May 15, 2018
Welcome to this week’s steamy episode of the Date Your Wife podcast sponsored by DKW Styling and featuring dual producers inside the game of business, money, and life – Danielle K and Garrett J White – who are keeping it real and raw no matter what level of success they achieve. Although today’s topic is one of the tougher topics for many couples to get real about, the Whites break down all barriers and bares all in this week’s enlightening, revealing and transparent conversation about sex.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Ass Cheeks ‘n Thongs * Danielle: We were at Cabo, lots of sex, no kids, drinking gin, and this medium-looking girl walks by with her guy, she’s wearing a thong and has a tiny bum – even I noticed. It’s when your head followed and you kept following. Usually, you’re super respectful. But you kept prolonging that ass. * Garrett: You caught me on that one. You do have control over how long you entertain, but you have zero control over the fact that if nine sets of ass cheeks are walking by you, and you’re sitting there with your wife whose ass cheeks you love, as a guy in that environment it is a work of art to try to NOT do two things: #1- look, #2- try to not be weird about it when you’re with your wife.
QUESTION
How do you feel about prolongued looks at the opposite sex by your partner?
Point #2: Sexual Triggers * Danielle: Being turned on by a guy is all about how he carries himself; it’s all about his energy and not about the idea of having sex with him. You might get butterflies and think, ‘oh he’s cute,’ but usually you never entertain it until later when it comes up and you wonder why you’re so horny. * Garrett: As guys, we have a very different challenge because we are constantly being stimulated. You can be at church and a woman walks by wearing a shirt where her nipples are protruding and you can be a super committed loyal man to your wife, and nonetheless, you are sexually triggered.
QUESTION
What triggers you sexually?
Point #3: Finding Your Inner Stripper * For years, Garrett wanted Danielle to send him sexy photos of herself, but for a long time, she wasn’t about that. She eventually had a boudoir photoshoot that was not only for Garrett, but it also helped her find her inner stripper and channel more of her sexual being. * “When I’m learning and growing in life, I’ll do things to get out of my comfort zone because it pisses me off that I’m operating in a certain way. Doing the pictures made me nervous but I decided to just do it. It gives you permission to roleplay and it spices things up a little bit.”
QUESTION
What is something you can do this week to step out of your comfort zone in your relationship?
Point #4: Reflection in the Mirror * Garrett: It’s very difficult for a guy to have his thoughts in check if he’s not getting laid. As a guy, you are naturally sexually charged and if you and your wife are not having sex for whatever reason – if physical intimacy is not happening – his sexual energy goes even higher, which is what leads a man to go porn and masturbation, which ultimately leads to a bigger problem. * Ladies, if you shame and guilt your husband because he’s looking at porn, I’d invite you to look in the mirror at how you’re showing up. The majority of men are looking at porn because they are not getting their sexual and emotional needs met at home – the relationship sex game is horseshit and not working out.
QUESTION
Ladies, how are you showing up sexually for your husband?
Point #5: Road to Nowhere * With consistent porn consumption and masturbation, you will stop putting your sexual energy towards your wife. You deplete all of your sexual energy into the computer and into your cell phone, and through masturbation, you literally push your energy away into the nothing. There’s no exchange of energy.
- Garrett: “Looking at porn and masturbating is a hollow experience. When I would go through these times of looking at porn and masturbating because Danielle and I were not on the same page, I would feel bad, alone and isolated. Turning to porn made it worse because I would start feeling even more resentment towards Danielle.”
QUESTION
Gentlemen, where are you in the porn/masturbation cycle? How are your actions affecting your wife and your relationship?
Communication Challenge:
Ladies, how can you use sex as a tool and as a connecting piece to restore order in the relationship?
Date Night Topic:
Do a little role playing on your next Date Night to channel your inner stripper and add a little spice to the mix.
Quote of the Week:
“Guys, at the end of the day, keep all of that sexual energy in because it forces you to get committed to getting laid. This is what I have noticed for myself. If I keep all the sexual energy inside of me by not masturbating or looking at porn, then it forces me to focus all that energy on Danielle.”
—Garrett J White
“Take the time to connect. Even if you’re working a lot and don’t see each other often, your relationship can only be as good as you’re willing to work on it. If you’re willing to cross the line for each other and not let it get too far disconnected, you can always stay in a good space. It’s when you let it go too far that it takes that much longer to repair it and get back up. It’s always a work in progress.”
—Danielle K White
Encore presentation from May of 2019
The conversation about the game of money is this week’s topic of the Date Your Wife podcast, a topic which proves to be a spicy one for married co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Saving & Investing * As Danielle steps back and looks at their amazing businesses and lifestyle, she is curious if there is a way to start putting more money into other areas, like savings, in addition to life insurance. She wonders if she is ignoring signs from their past mistakes, knowing that their current lifestyle is more abundant than ever before. * Garrett: My wife has pushed for our life to rise over and over again. At this point, we save more money than we’ve ever saved in our whole lives. I’ve also gone from only investing in the business to investing in the family.
QUESTION
How are you doing in the area of savings? How long would you be able to sustain your lifestyle if the money stopped coming in tomorrow?
Point #2: Obsession * The challenge inside of marriage when it comes to the topic of money is this: making money, growing money, keeping money, and leveraging money. Seventeen years ago, after reading the book, ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad,’ Garrett realized for the first time that he could make money and became obsessed with it. * He went back and forth between the hustle mode of making money and the phase of growing money as he built teams and processes, which led him to the game of keeping money. Over the past several years, he has invested and put strategies into place, which have benefited them in massive ways inside of their bank accounts and savings vaults.
QUESTION
Where are you as a couple when it comes to making & keeping money?
Point #3: Building a Legacy * Danielle: We live an amazing lifestyle. I’m at the point where I want to be able to build a legacy, an empire. If we stopped working ten years from now, I want to know that we could still live our amazing lifestyle for years to come plus help our children if we needed to. * My parents live well, but they can’t stop working. My dad is 69 and is still building custom homes because they have to continue working to maintain their lifestyle. I look at our parents and don’t want to live like either of them.
QUESTION
What do you ultimately desire?
Point #4: A Team Effort * Danielle: Ladies, money is a tough conversation. Whether you’re a woman who can take care of herself, or you’re the Mom CEO of the family, it’s nice to have a guy that takes care of you. * I also want to be a part of this team effort and part of the decisions. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and be naive about what’s going on.
QUESTION
How do you handle money decisions in your relationship?
Point #5: Maintain or Increase? * Garrett to Danielle: Would you be willing to maintain our current lifestyle even though our businesses are increasing in revenue? We would maintain our current game, and everything else would go pure cash with no expense increase whatsoever in our personal lifestyle over the next five years. * We would not change homes or cars, and we would keep the same game. We would put all the money away that you want to put away without having to up the standard, meaning… two bags, not nine.
QUESTION
What are you willing to do in order to be able to put money away?
Communication Challenge: Have some conversations with your spouse about the game of money: making, growing, keeping, and leveraging money.
Date Night Topic: If the money were to suddenly stop coming in, how long would you be able to live your current lifestyle without changing anything?
Quote of the Week:
“This podcast isn’t about having all the answers for you but rather a conversation where we’re in a place of figuring shit out as we go.”
—Garrett J White
“When I’m seventy years old, I want us to be working because we’re passionate about it, and we are choosing to – we have a purpose behind it – not to just pay the fucking bills.”
—Danielle K White
Point #1: What is a Stack? * A Stack is a series of questions with five variations (Mega, Angry, Happy, Gratitude, Production) that Garrett originally created three years ago to deal with “my fucking rage.” These questions alter the way you are experiencing different relationships, events, and triggers in your life. * One of the challenges men have is the inability to express emotion and end up suppressing those emotions, which is the way society has taught, trained and educated men to do over the past 100 years. The whole point of the Stack is to allow you to release the energy that you’re feeling, whether you’re fucking raging, angry, triggered, or happy and get someone to their truth.
QUESTION
As a man, what has been your experience with sharing your emotions and feelings?
Point #2: Impact * There are five different Stacks which serve different purposes. You’ve got the Mega and Angry Stack which allow you to release your rage & emotions, followed by the Happy and Gratitude Stacks, and then finally the Production or War Stack.. * The Gratitude Stack requires you to deliberately pause and look back and serves as a powerful tool of connection with your spouse and children. As Garrett has shared these with his children as part of the Core 4 game, he has witnessed first-hand the immense impact it has had on them individually and upon their relationship.
QUESTION
How has expressing gratitude for your spouse and children affected your relationship with them?
Point #3: The Gift of Gratitude * Danielle shares how expressing gratitude gives you a different perspective.”There are going to be times in your life when you feel like you are in a dark place, and it’s hard to snap out of that. You start to see the world through a negative lens.” * “If you take a step back and begin appreciating the good moments, it gives you this sense of gratitude, and everything begins to change. It puts life in a different perspective.”
QUESTION
What do you notice when you step back and begin seeing life through the lens of gratitude?
Point #4: INSPIRED * From his Gratitude Stack about Danielle, Garrett received insights and revelations about their marriage, and how he feels about her: “Marital and mutual respect is something that takes a long time to uncover, and once it’s found, it’s priceless and profound.” * “I sit and look at my wife while five months pregnant and am just inspired. I’m inspired by what it is to be pregnant and have your body do what it does with a little person inside of you who is growing. But of all the things that hits home the most is that she can make the baby AND also smash the shit out of life.”
QUESTION
What about your spouse inspires you?
Point #5: From Then to Now * Garrett: What makes this pregnancy different from the others is that I am grateful for what we’ve become as a couple. In the past, I isolated myself and didn’t know how to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. * Danielle: When you look back to how it was eight years ago with our last pregnancy during scary and uncertain times, things are so different this time. We know we’re in a good place right now with life and with marriage, and we’re excited about the next chapter.
QUESTION
As you step back and look where you’ve been compared to where you are now, what has changed?
Communication Challenge:
Discuss the art of collision and the ability to hold space for your spouse during intense & direct conversations.
Date Night Topic:
Make Gratitude the topic of your next Date Night. Share examples and stories of gratitude with each other. If you have access to the Gratitude Stack, do a Stack on each other and then share it during your date.
Quote of the Week:
“Gratitude is the ability to look back: here’s where we are, here’s where we were, and let’s be grateful for what is.”
—Garrett J White
“When you’re in a space of gratitude, nothing can get you down. Use it as a protective shield for yourself and your family, and to ultimately feel more powerful in life. When I’m in that space, I feel unstoppable.”
—Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: People Pleaser or Conflict Avoider? * Danielle believes women typically aren’t people-pleasers, they’re conflict avoiders. Some women are so afraid of confrontation that they always try to make peace. * “But ultimately it’s not because we’re trying to please people,” offers Danielle, “it’s because we’re trying to avoid conflict, which later on actually causes us more harm.”
QUESTION
How does this play out in your marriage?
Point #2: On the Hunt * As Garrett reflects this topic of conflict, he realizes that “Danielle is a conflict avoider at the highest level. If you go through what has happened with us in the past seventeen years, she has NEVER been a conflict person.” * “The only way we could ever have a real conversation was if I brought the collision to her, and then inside of it, I would actually hunt her down and force her to have a serious conversation with me.”
QUESTION
Who is typically the “hunter” inside your marriage?
Point #3: Hot-Headed * When men become hot-headed inside of a conversation, many women refuse to continue on with that conversation, thus making it appear to the men that women are in this place of avoidance. * From Danielle’s perspective, “Women recognize when a conversation or argument isn’t in a logical place and is going nowhere. When Garrett flips his lid, and I feel like I can’t reason with him because the conversation is not in a healthy place, I will refuse to continue, knowing that in this state, nothing is going to get solved.
QUESTION
Who is typically the hot-headed one in your relationship? How does this affect your communication?
Point #4: Initiate or Avoid? * Garrett admits being more emotional than Danielle, and one who desires to get into a fight and collide. Speaking to Danielle, “You were never an initiator of any type of hard conversation. Your mode was to just swallow it, ignore it, reframe it in your mind, let it go and move on…and pretend like it never happened.” * Danielle: I was avoiding confrontation, and was thinking, “Oh, it will go away, it’ll quiet down. I also came to this place where I didn’t know how to have direct conversations with you.
QUESTION
Inside conflict within your marriage, who typically avoids, and who typically initiates?”
Point #5: Therapy * After six years of behaviors and patterns that were not serving the White’s, everything came to a head one afternoon during a huge argument in their kitchen where an ultimatum was issued by Garrett: either we’re going to therapy, or we’re done. * Danielle: Going to therapy, we both had a logical sounding board to hear one another’s feelings. It helped me open up and communicate better, and I feel like Garrett was able to go deeper into the story or conflict without hitting his tipping point.
QUESTION
What has been your experience inside the conversation of therapy?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation around the topic of “Avoider or Initiator.”
Date Night Topic:
During Date Night, have a conversation about the possibility of inserting Therapy into your lives.
Quote of the Week:
“Therapy gave us a better chance to pull off conflict and be in a conversation that would require both of us to own our shit.”
—Garrett J White
“In relationships, I think we argue to be right, not to get what we want. I think we both realized that there’s submission in getting what we want which makes us less willing to be right and more willing to get what we want.”
—Danielle K White
In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett explore their Dark side and share how embracing both the Dark and the Light has given them the freedom to find harmony inside of their relationship, within themselves, and with humanity.
Encore presentation from October 2018
Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast… Point #1: Jekyll and Hyde * Danielle: Everyone is raised to put themselves in a box. As you get comfortable with yourself, you own EVERY side of yourself, including the crazy, but you learn how to manifest the crazy in a productive way. * Garrett: Most people cannot accept that there are literally two sides to them. I spent most of my life putting who I was, away – my desires, the anger, the rage, the fire, the questions, and the sexual desire.
QUESTION
What part of you are you hiding in a box?
Point #2: Super Power * Danielle: I can’t operate as Susan all of the time, so it’s literally learning how to cohesively live together with your multiple personalities. It’s learning how to be cool with yourself and tapping into this dark, crazy side of you, looking at it as your Superpower. For example, I gotta handle some shit in business, so Dark Susan’s coming out. When it’s time to be a wife and a lover, Danielle comes out. * Garrett: Relationship is the ability for a person to be able to be ALL of themselves in that relationship. My mission for myself and for Danielle was to be able to figure out how to be ALL of ourselves. There’s Dark Susan sex, and there’s Danielle sex – totally different sex, both are amazing. As we become more adaptable to ourselves, I think our relationship blows up in a big, beautiful way.
QUESTION
How do you handle ALL of you? How do you use the different parts of you to your advantage?
Point #3: Critical Bitch * Garrett: Danielle has an aspect to her that I deeply love now but that I hated and loathed for most of our marriage, until the last four to five years. This side is what I considered to be Critical Bitch. Whatever was going on, there was always this chipping away, and for most of our relationship I thought, “Fucking crazy woman.”
- Anything to do with Danielle’s dark side was viewed as wrong, broken, over-thinking. What I had viewed as critical, all of a sudden became powerful. She had the ability to see things clearly amidst the chaos, and not be sucked in by emotion.
QUESTION
What have you previously viewed as wrong or broken in your spouse, but now view as powerful?
Point #4: Embrace the Dark AND the Light * Garrett: When you start accepting that this is true inside of you – the Diabolical AND the Divine – when you come to terms with and embrace and love both sides of you, you start to love and appreciate humanity and people around you at a level you never could before because you’re not fucking hiding anymore. * Inside Wake Up Warrior and Big Money Stylist, we lead individuals on this path that accepts the true power of who you are on both extremes: in the Dark AND in the Light, in the Night AND in the Light, so they can ultimately gain the purest sight of being able to see truth.
QUESTION
What part of you are you suppressing and not embracing?
Point #5: Submission vs Sedation * Danielle: How do I get to the end result I’m looking for in a particular situation? What are the steps required? It always requires submission at some level. Ultimately, I’m happier and get what I want. That overall feeling is better than retreating and closing down. Sedation can be a sneaky little bastard, and it can come in many forms. * Garrett: Most couples don’t want to submit, so they sedate. They go to whatever they need to in order to avoid having to collide: they eat, drink, pop pills, ignore, delve into fitness. People go to religion to justify the shitty relationship they’re in; that somehow it will be magical when they die.
QUESTION
Where inside of your relationship are you sedating to avoid collision?
Communication Challenge:
How has your upbringing affected your ability to embrace both the Darkness and the Light within you?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about your particular Crazy. What is the name of your Dark side?
Quote of the Week:
“Individually, if you do not come to terms with the fact that you have a brilliant side that is filled with light, and that you have a brilliant side that is filled with Night, that your Crazy offsets your Creator, and that your Creator cannot exist without your Crazy; until you can come to terms with yourself on this, you will never find harmony long-term in a relationship with any other person, specifically with your wife.”
–Garrett J White
“I think people sedate their blessing. They think their blessing is their curse, so they sedate the thing that can actually give them power. What if you looked at these things as a blessing and not a curse? What if you used these to learn how to navigate through life instead of sedating what God gave you as ‘different?’ What if you learned how to use it to your benefit?”
–Danielle K White
Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast, aka the White’s weekly therapy session, coming to you for the first time from their new home studio. In this week’s personal and up-close conversation from inside their bedroom, the highlights of this episode include details about Closet Sex, Garrett’s tendency to go to the extreme, the purpose behind this podcast, and business strategies when it comes to dealing with the haters.
*This is an Encore presentation from February 2019*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Closet Sex * Danielle’s certain she has nailed down the exact time and place of conception of their baby due in July. * Knowing her ‘window of pregnancy opportunity’ was wide open, and determined to take full advantage of it, she seduced Garrett one morning as he was on his way out the door.
QUESTION
Ladies, when and where was the last time you seduced your husband or partner?
Point #2: Rivals & Haters * Any successful business is always going to have rivals and haters. When you’re new in the game, you take it very seriously and it can be crippling. * Garrett: Inside of a relationship, you have to choose you. At the end of the day, if you’re in a relationship that’s not working out, as hard as it might be, you have to take responsibility for the way your marriage is because of you.
QUESTION
What has been your experience with the “haters” inside of your personal and business life?
Point #3: Compromise * Danielle: When there’s an end result that I’m looking to get, sometimes I don’t look at the steps I need to take in order to get to that end result. * A relationship is a sacrifice and compromise on both ends. There were many times Garrett and I told each other to fuck off. No one goes into a relationship wishing it was shitty.
QUESTION
What is the current state of your marriage?
Point #4: They’re Going to Talk Shit * Garrett: We started down this path of being responsible for our own change as individuals which allowed us to make some very important decisions when it came to business. * Part of that process comes from dealing with people who talk shit. In the beginning stage of business, we always believe we’re the exception and that there is something we can do that will have people NOT talk shit about us.
QUESTION
What is your strategy for dealing with people who talk shit about you or your business?
Point #5: The Certainty of Collision * Garrett: I think you need to fucking punch people because it helps YOU. When I launched my first podcast filled with explicit lyrics in the Christian category, I was like a knife salesman at a waterbed convention. * People began attacking Garrett and were out to take him down. Even though he knew he had brought this on himself, he wasn’t prepared for the incessant heat he was receiving. As he launched his counter-attack on the haters, it began to weaponize him.
QUESTION
Where in your world have you taken a stand for something, and because of that, have you have received enormous backlash and persecution?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation around this topic: It’s your partner that gives you insight and guidance that no one else will give you; it’s your partner that gives you a swift kick, and it’s hard to receive.
Date Night Topic:
On your next Date Night, have a steamy conversation about seduction.
Quote of the Week:
“You don’t have to go looking for haters. The moment you take a stand of any significance, a war of haters will come to your front fucking door who are there to train you on how to be able to effectively and powerfully collide with other human beings..”
—Garrett J White
“If you can’t take the heat, you’re not strong enough to keep going. People who have had enormous amounts of success have figured out how to move on, say fuck you, have tunnel vision, work harder and smarter, and become the best at what they’re doing.”
—Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny * There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again. * Garrett: Although we didn’t get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice.
QUESTION
What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce?
Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person? * The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit. * Garrett: There’s a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it’s actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, “Am I with the wrong person?”
QUESTION
Is what you’re posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy?
Point #3: It’s Just How It Is * Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don’t even know they’re surviving. The belief is, “This is just how it is.” * If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it’s not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you have the belief of “it’s just how it is?”
Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement * The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don’t go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce. * “What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?”
QUESTION
If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married?
Point #5: It’s a Choice * Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today. * No matter what state your marriage is in today, there’s another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there’s a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose.
QUESTION
What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage?
Communication Challenge:
How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship.
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship?
Quote of the Week:
“There’s a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it’s the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work.”
—Garrett J White
“People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.”
—Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication
Point #1: Guilt: The Enemy * Danielle hates feeling guilty. “I think guilt is the enemy, and that nothing can pull you into a downward spiral faster than guilt. When I feel guilt, I ask myself why I’m feeling this way. Can I fix it? What can I do NOT to feel this?” * Women feel all kinds of guilt, whether it be mommy guilt, business guilt, sex guilt, or even food guilt. When she’s making decisions, Danielle asks herself if this will set her up to have a shitty day the next day. If so, “I have self-control and self-discipline.”
QUESTION
As a woman, how do you process guilt?
Point #2: Attack With the Stack * Guilt plagues guys in a massive way and they, too, experience all kinds of guilt inside of marriage, family, and business. If they work long hours to provide for their family, they feel guilty for being away from them so much. And then, if they’re away and DON’T produce, they feel guilty about that, with an extra dose of shame and worthlessness thrown in. * Garrett deals with guilt by using a powerful tool called the Stack. “I ask myself a series of questions that help me flip my guilt. I do this through an app on my cell phone, Attack with the Stack, where I’m able to deal with and process my thoughts and stories.”
QUESTION
As a man, how do you process guilt?
Point #3: The Dream * Danielle’s recent dream was like a blockbuster adventure, mystery, and horror movie rolled into one. Garrett & Danielle explore it and the possible meanings it could hold, and he reminds her, “You have dreams, and your dreams mean something.”
Danielle: I think this dream came because I have been anxious about work. This year, I have taken on the role of CEO in addition to being a salon owner, an education director, launching my new ISLA hairline, and having a baby. I’ve snapped back strong from this baby, and mentally I feel strong, but I think I was scared that it was going to be too overwhelming. I think I was just scared of the unknown.
QUESTION
Do you or your spouse have dreams that carry timely messages?
Point #4: Running From Life * During an especially difficult three year period for the White’s, Garrett became an ultra-marathon runner, often running up to twenty miles a day. Danielle claims he was running from life. * Garrett: Being an ultra-marathon runner was deeply powerful for me. Do you know what it did for me? I learned how to physically hurt for days and days and days on end with no complaint at all. It just fucking hurt. It’s almost like you learn how to hurt and be ok with hurting.
QUESTION
What do you do to run away from your problems?
Point #5: Every Mom Has a Different Path * Garrett & Danielle have a conversation about the different choices women make today as either working-outside-the-home moms, stay-at-home moms, CEO moms, or a combination of these. Garrett feels that many women are miserable, depressed, and selling themselves short when they are stay-at-home moms, although he fully supports any choice women make. * Danielle: I love being a mom. I love everything about it. But I also know I love doing stuff for myself. I think a lot of women pursue things outside of being a mom, but they look at it as a hobby. And I did that in the beginning, but then I was faced with a situation where I didn’t know if I was going to stay married.” This is what ultimately birthed NBR, DKW Salon, her education company, and the ISLA hairline.
QUESTION
How do you both feel about the choices you have made up to this point?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about this phrase, “I wish I could just be a stay-at-home mom.” Does this trigger you? What does it actually mean to you?
Date Night Topic:
Who are your super heros? Why?
Quote of the Week:
“I’ll be hurting and suffering in business with so much shit to do, so I’ll take a deep breath and say, ‘There is no finish line, this will not end quickly, this is going to fucking hurt badly, and… it is what it is.”
—Garrett J White
“I’m super logical, and I flip things because I hate that feeling of guilt. I know if I take the feeling out of it and logically look at something – even if I’m in the wrong – I can understand it, let go, and try to do better.”
—Danielle K White
* New Episode
The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication
Point #1: The Hamster Wheel * When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel. * “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.”
QUESTION
Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?
Point #2: False Lift * When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how. * You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed.
QUESTION
What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you?
Point #3: Collision * The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel. * Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are.
QUESTION
Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?
Point #4: Shut Down * Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.” * Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.”
QUESTION
Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?
Point #5: The Stack * Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.” * During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.”
QUESTION
How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry?
Communication Challenge:
Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward.
Date Night Topic:
Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on.
Quote of the Week:
“If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.”
—Garrett J White
“I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!”
—Danielle K White
dateyourwife.com, warriorgreens.com
becomeaking.com, dkwstyling.com
*It’s no secret that the Date Your Wife Podcast doubles as a weekly therapy session for married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garret J White. This week during their candid conversation about the topic of parenting, fireworks are ignited as they each take a strong stance for their differing parenting tactics and strategies.
Episode Repeat from July 2018*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING Point #1: Monster Mom, Monster Child * Garrett spent this past week in Costa Rica on a surfing vacation, and Danielle and the girls flew to Utah to be with her parents for a few days. That first night deep in the jungle of Costa Rica, Garrett received a frantic and emotional text call from Baily, their eleven-year-old daughter, who was screaming and freaking out about her smashed cell phone. That night, he realized that at the end of the day, he had absolutely no control over what was happening over 3500 miles away in a different country.
- Danielle: At the same moment Garrett was having that realization, I was having the realization that there was nothing I could do, either. Bailey had flipped her lid and was totally irrational, to the point where anything I said escalated the situation on both sides. I started out calm, and then I got to the point where monster mom came out. I reminded her that she’s eleven and is not entitled to a phone, and eventually grabbed her phone and threw it. I suddenly realized that monster mom created monster child.
QUESTION
What is your parenting strategy when your kids are behaving irrationally?
Point #2: To Slap or Not to Slap * Garrett: Danielle texted me and asked me what she should have done. I said, slap her, but she said no. “Breaking cell phones is a very expensive habit because every cell phone you break, you inevitably end up getting a new cell phone, and we just end up spending more money. Slap her, it’s free, and a quick slap takes care of it all.”
- Danielle: I remember being backhanded by my mom a few times. One time she did it so hard that I flew into the window and got a bloody nose. You want me to slap her, but the repercussions of being a pre-teen and having your mom or dad backhand you across the face cause far more scarring than throwing a cell phone.
QUESTION
What are your thoughts about slapping? Yes or no?
Point #3: Cell Phone Family Plan * Danielle: When Baily doesn’t have her cell phone with her 24/7, she’s more present. She has a tendency to get into her head. She worries about the wrong shit and gets sucked into the vortex. I think there’s a lot of good that comes from Social Media, but there have to be boundaries, and there have to be limitations so there isn’t this sense of entitlement. Tonight when we get home, we’re going to create a cell phone contract with her.
- Garrett: I think the contract is a very good idea. I just think you need to be very clear about what you’re going to put on the contract. You better be ready to enforce it, and you better know what the enforcement of the plan is, otherwise it’s just going to be another one of those things that never happen.
QUESTION
Cell phones and kids – why or why not?
Point #4: Different Parents, Different Strategies * Garrett: As parents, we have radically different strategies for dealing with our children. I deal with life one way, Danielle deals with life another way. Part of what used to cause a lot of conflict was that we didn’t know how to submit to what the other person was passionate about. For example, Danielle said that Baily told her to her face that she’s a fucking bitch. I would slap her in the mouth.
- But Danielle’s opposed to that and thinks it’s super trashy. In my opinion, if our daughter calls Danielle a fucking bitch, she deserves to be slapped in the face. The end. Danielle’s strategy is to ignore and wait until things blow up, then she deals with the chaos from that point on. I like to intercept shit and punch it before it becomes a major issue. This has created a lot of chaos for us as we raise our children because we have totally different strategies.
QUESTION
What are your parenting strategies?
Point #5: Kings, Support Your Queens * Garrett: Gentlemen, yes it’s your job to lead in the house, but at the same time, your wife spends more time with your children. At the end of the day, although I may have opinions about how things should go on at home, she spends the most time with them and they’ve figured out their game. One of the worst things you can do is to fuck up their flow, even when it looks like complete insanity from the outside. Just support it.
- There’s a shitload of disrespect in our country with kids in this age group who just don’t give a shit. They talk shit to their parents, to adults, and to teachers. I don’t necessarily have the answers, but here’s what I do know: inside of it at some point – as a man – it’s more important to back your wife in what’s going on than it is for you to be right.
QUESTION
How is this conversation resonating with you and your spouse?
Communication Challenge:
Discuss your parenting strategies in the area of discipline. How can you two come together to create a unified team?
Date Night Topic:
To slap or not to slap: why or why not? How has your upbringing shaped your opinion about it?
Quote of the Week:
“Have the courage to have conversations even when you disagree.”
—Garrett J White
“Make sure that whatever the plan is that you back your significant other.”
—Danielle K White
NEW EPISODE The White’s are back in the studio with a brand new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, fresh and on point in the style you have come to love! We learn what has been transpiring in their lives since the arrival of baby Isla, what postpartum life is like, why Danielle feels they should show themselves some grace, why Garrett referred to Danielle as Tom Brady the morning after their Anniversary, and much, much more.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex
Point #1: The Miracle * Nearly all parents can agree that the first few days and weeks of having a new baby in the house is a huge adjustment for everyone. This one investment has made all the difference and is what Garrett refers to as a life preserver. * What is it? It’s a Snoo. Adds Danielle, “It’s a miracle. You zip the baby in so they can’t wriggle out of their blanket, and it plays white noise while gently rocking them.”
QUESTION
What gadgets have helped you with your newborn?
Point #2: The Meltdown * Garrett created the “Don’t Be a Dick While Your Wife is Pregnant” challenge which he managed to pull off up until he fumbled on the second-yard line. “She’s two weeks postpartum and something inside of me snaps. I am obsessed with sex and I get to this angry place.” * Danielle: You did the weird thing that makes a woman feel more guilty. Then I had a postpartum meltdown explosion. I was postpartum, mixed with newborn emotions, and my eyes and forehead were weeping in ways they never had. I bawled my eyes out for an hour with a lot of fuck you’s in between.
QUESTION
What did you experience as a couple during the early postpartum days & weeks?
Point #3: The Anniversary * After their huge blowout, Danielle knew it was time for them to get back on track doing the things that worked for them in their relationship: this podcast, Date Nights, and Sex. She was beginning to feel more like a woman rather than an “Umpa Loompa” as she put on her makeup, pulled up her Spanx, and went out on a date with Garrett. She also realized that they needed to give themselves some grace. * Garrett: We got back on track sexually, and then we had what I’m going to call the Quantum Night, Quantum standing for four – the Cuatro night. It’s in my favorite files. I can put out imagery and live video footage – an hour of it. That was so amazing. That was the best ever!
QUESTION
What was it that brought you back on track sexually after the births of your babies?
Point #4: The Green Light * Does the woman initiate? Do they wait for the guy to initiate? What can she do to signal that the doors are open? What should he NEVER do if he wants to initiate sex? * Men, if you’re trying to get your wife in the mood and immediately start rubbing or slapping her butt, or go in for the boobs, THAT IS A HUGE TURN OFF! DON’T DO THAT! Instead, come to her and say something like, “Let me rub your shoulders.” This works like a charm for most women.
QUESTION
What are the Red Lights and Green Lights inside of your sex life?
Point #5: Sneak Preview * Here’s a sneak preview into the world of the White’s and their respective businesses. Garrett: WARRIOR GREENS – Kitchen-style documentary on the history of Warrior Greens and how they support the conversation of CORE 4 for both men & women. BECOME A KING Series – The seven Pits and Power moves of married businessmen with children. * Danielle: Creator of Natural Beaded Rows (NBR), Host of the Big Money Stylist Podcast, Hair Education (NBR & BMS), Hairline (ISLA), Ower of DKW Styling Salon. Go to dkwstying.com to find out more.
QUESTION
What are you creating in your lives either as a couple or individually?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about what keeps you on track as a couple.
Date Night Topic:
Come up with some unique-to-you Green Lights.
Quote of the Week:
“The game was a little rough. My brake pads were completely exhausted, and I was tearing apart my rotors with no brake pads. I didn’t realize I had run out of runway. All of my will power and “white-knuckling it” was gone. Something shifted in my brain. The baby’s out, the vagina’s open for business, why am I still being rejected?”
–Garrett J White
“You gotta be the bigger person, ladies.”
–Danielle K White
betheman.com, dkwstyling.com
EPISODE REPEAT FROM OCTOBER 2018 On the heels of a fabulous weekend getaway to New York City, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about the importance of taking time away from their children and their day-to-day responsibilities, and reconnecting with each other as a couple on a deeper level.
______________________________________________________________________________
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: Weekend Getaways * At least four times a year, Garrett and Danielle take long weekend trips to reset their relationship. * Before Garrett began committing to these getaways, he was unable to see the ROI in them. For ten years, he had a difficult time reconciling spending money on any type of vacation.
QUESTION
When was the last time you and your spouse went on a weekend getaway?
Point #2: Refresh and Unplug * In the Strategic Coach program, Dan Sullivan created the Entrepreneur Time System. Inside of that, you have Focus Days, Buffer Days, and Free Days. * When you go on weekend getaways, there are a couple of things that have to happen: 1- you must be able to refresh, and 2- you must be able to unplug.
QUESTION
What do you and your spouse do in order to come away refreshed from these getaways?
Point #3: Can’t vs Can * You’ll always find something that can get in the way of taking time away from the kids in order to be with each other: you don’t have time, the conditions aren’t right, it’s either all or nothing. * A lot of times, we focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can do. If your marriage is in a rough place, it’s even easier to justify why you can’t do something.
QUESTION
What excuses can you clear away in order to make room for weekend vacations with your spouse?
Point #4: Sexual Distance * When Danielle feels like they’re in a weird place, she thinks back to the time when they were dating. “What were the behaviors I was doing that I don’t do anymore?” * Garrett: If you have some distance sexually, it’s very easy to get stuck in a routine where you start going through these phases: anticipation, desperation, fuck you, and apathy.
QUESTION
What are some things you did when you were dating that you’re no longer doing?
Point #5: Primal Connection * If you don’t get space away from your current environment, you can’t return to the primal nature that actually connected you in the beginning. * If you’re not connecting regularly, you end up inside of a stale relationship where you’re simply partners in the game, sans the lust and the primal connection.
QUESTION
What are you doing to retain and ignite the primal connection you felt when you first met and dated your spouse?
Communication Challenge:
Take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about the things you loved doing together when you first met and while you were dating.
Date Night Topic:
Get your calendars out and plan your weekend getaways for the next 12 months.
Quote of the Week:
“I’m constantly creating opportunities inside of our relationship to have space away with Danielle.”
–Garrett J White
“Let’s hit the reset button before it gets too far into the ‘fuck you’ mode.”
–Danielle K White
betheman.com, dkwstyling.com
*REPEAT EPISODE FROM NOVEMBER 2018 As highly successful producers, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their business growth, their goals for the upcoming year, and how they are going to simplify the game moving forward.*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Cleaning House * Danielle spent a portion of the year stepping outside of her business, watching it explode in growth, but at the same time, realizing she may have stepped out a little too far. * The goal of 2019 inside of Wake Up Warrior is to unify the men, tighten up the game, and simplify it.
QUESTION
What areas of your life can you tighten up as we head into 2019?
Point #2: The Money Game * During the early years of their marriage, Danielle and Garrett were both working. Garrett was paying the bills and Danielle was stockpiling money. * While Danielle’s father paid the bills, her mother paid for their lifestyle. Garrett’s parents had the agreement that his mom would stay home with the kids, which she wanted, and his father would pay the bills.
QUESTION
What role did your parents play in the money game when you were growing up? What role do you play?
Point #3: Mommy Guilt * Many women wonder how they can work because it will take time away from their kids. It’s Danielle’s belief that working makes women less crazy. * Danielle: If you feel like you want to pursue those passions and talents of yours, do it. It’s my belief that it makes you a different and a better person.
QUESTION
As a wife and mother, what would be possible for your life if you began pursuing some of your passions and talents outside of the home?
Point #4: Different AND Equal * Back in the day, the economic engine of life was the home where both the man and the woman were producers. Upon the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, a rift took place within the fabric of the home.
- The trend that Garrett sees happening inside of this conversation of money is that women are seeing themselves as a vital piece of the production game, and at the same time, they don’t want to do it alone.
QUESTION
How do you view your roles as producers?
Point #5: Power and Stress * A lot of men begin to feel inadequate if their wives are working, and it’s actually very frightening for them. They are weak men who get threatened by their wives having any kind of power. * Garrett’s goal and target is to always make 10x more than Danielle. Danielle: Garrett deserves to make ten times the amount I do because I’m not willing to take on that stress.
QUESTION
As a man, how are your feelings of inadequacy affecting your relationship with your wife?
Communication Challenge:
Have a discussion about your current roles inside of your marriage. What would you like to change as you move into 2019?
Date Night Topic:
What are your passions and desires as a couple? What would you like to do together in 2019? Get out your calendars and start making plans.
Quote of the Week:
“If a woman controls sex AND money, it leaves a guy in a very interesting place. He has to be very confident and certain as a man.”
—Garrett J White
“Maybe I could have been the best damn version of me had I not worked, but In my experience, me working has made our relationship better.”
—Danielle K White
The topic of money is this week’s conversation inside of the Date Your Wife podcast. The unique dynamics inside of a marriage relationship create a very difficult game for many couples when it comes to the sticky topic of money. *EPISODE REPLAY FROM SEP 2018*
________________________________________________________
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Catch-22 * Back in the day, Danielle hated Garrett because he was working so much. But she didn’t hate the business because that’s what was paying the bills. “I got to this place where I felt Garrett loved the business more than he loved me.” * Garrett: Men can control what happens in business more than they can control what happens at home. It’s easier to be the King in business than it is to be the King at home.
QUESTION
Gentlemen, have you lost your crown? What are you going to do to get it back?
Point #2: Split in Two * Many women who out-produce their husbands are in this space of: How do I deal with my husband who is not being the man? I’m dominating him in business and trying to decide if I should get a divorce. * Garrett: When a man allows his wife to split the bills, it splits his power and creates a bit of submission in a weird way. Men, at the primal level, must be okay with the stewardship and responsibility of “I must pay the bills independent of my wife.”
QUESTION
How do you as a couple feel about this?
Point #3: Wake-Up Call * At one point in their marriage, Danielle hid how much money she was making. She split up her bank accounts to create a safety net for herself because she wasn’t sure if their marriage was going to work out. * When she got triggered about something, she revealed to Garrett that she had made $30k the previous month which served as a wake-up call in the form of a big two by four straight into his balls.
QUESTION
Ladies, why do you hide your money from your husband?
Point #4: Show Me the Money, Honey * There’s an artist inside Danielle’s Big Money Stylist network who is outproducing her husband in a massive way. “I love my husband and I want to be more sexual, but I’m just not attracted to him.” * Garrett: This is a sticky situation, and there’s not a simple one-cut solution. When Danielle was making more money, her tolerance of behavior by me went down, and her desire to connect with me sexually also went down.
QUESTION
How is this dynamic affecting your marriage?
Point #5: Friday Night Fights * A recent fight between Danielle and Garrett would have been the end of their marriage a few years ago. But this time it compelled them and opened them up. * Danielle: When your foundation is rocky and an explosion happens, it’s hard to build that back up. Now, we can have a fight and come back and talk about it because our foundation is more solid.
QUESTION
What condition is the foundation of your marriage in?
Communication Challenge:
Gentlemen, I want you to have a conversation with your wife about the dynamics of money. What is the connection to the attraction for you and the money you’re making or the lack of money you’re making?
If you’re a man and not paying the bills, have that conversation with your wife and just see where it takes you. If you can get her to be honest with you, it may be the prompting that you need to ultimately rise.
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about what you can do to create a stronger foundation inside of your relationship. What does that look like for both of you?
Quote of the Week:
“There are very few men on this planet who are actually ok with their wives out-fucking producing them. The girl owns the money card AND the vagina card. She owns the victory, the gina, and the money.”
–Garrett J White
“When you weren’t my money, you weren’t my honey. When I hold all the control, there’s no chemistry.”
–Danielle K White
dkwstyling.com
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Married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White, share their experiences as they do their best to navigate their way through this life. This week, the topic of conversation is Communication.
EPISODE REPLAY FROM OCTOBER 2018
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Some Like it Hot * Danielle attributes her direct communication to the fact that she’s a Taurus. “They’re actually sweet people, but if you set them off, you better get out of the fucking way.” * In marriage, she believes you have to use tact when you communicate with your partner. She usually runs questionable things through the ‘dating filter’ before she sends them to Garrett: “If we were dating, would I say this?”
QUESTION
How often do you find yourself running your communication through filters?
Point #2: Don’t Poke the Bear * Garret: Once Danielle is face down in the pillow, and the dog is curled up at her feet, I am now encroaching into the evil lair of insanity. I go about my evening routine knowing that Danielle is in comatose mode. * Danielle: Do you want to make love to your whiteboards, or do you want to make love to me? Just give me a little squeeze. If I respond, you’re in luck; if I say nothing, you’re shit out of luck.
QUESTION
What non-verbal signals and signs do you give to each other?
Point #3: Feeling Wanted * Garrett: There was a time I was unable to acknowledge to myself nor have a conversation with Danielle about the fact that sex was important to me. I was always indirect and hoping things would work out instead of directionally speaking to them. It was the same with my businesses. * Danielle: I started to understand that in order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted. Girls like and want sex, but I think it’s more of being wanted, and having that attention and validation that my man is into me.
QUESTION
How do you make sure your partner feels wanted by you?
Point #4: Direct Communication * Garrett: Part of the conversation in our home is that we talk directly with each other, as well as in front of our children. Our kids have very strong opinions about things, and they use very powerful language. * I used to steer clear of direct communication in our marriage, particularly on the topic of sex, because I just did not know how to get over my story of feeling rejected and my pain of feeling so.
QUESTION
In what areas of your life do you have a challenge with direct communication?
Point #5: Running Man * Garrett: I had given myself permission for a very long time to allow our relationship to be on eggshells, mostly because I literally couldn’t commit to much and I was always in a place where I was ready to bail. * About two years ago, a shift took place inside of Garrett causing the back door to completely disappear. Danielle noticed huge results after Garrett finally gave himself permission to commit and go all in.
QUESTION
What level of commitment do you have inside your marriage?
Communication Challenge:
Inside of your relationship, where are you avoiding direct conversations? How is this impacting your marriage?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about this topic: In order to get what I want, we both have to feel wanted.
Quote of the Week:
“Commitment itself is the bridge or gateway to actual direct communication. If you’re not committed to your marriage, or to the person you’re married to, direct communication cannot happen.”
–Garrett J White
“As we set our relationship up for success, it impacts so many other areas of our life, including the example we set for our children.”
–Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Parenting Point #1: Morning Chaos * Garrett describes their eleven-year-old daughter as a morning psychopath. She sets her alarm to go off up to nine times every morning just so she can wake up and get out of bed. * Their seven-year-old daughter is very much into routines. It’s almost as if she goes into auto-pilot in the morning and is good to go as long as everything is set up perfectly for her in advance.
QUESTION
How are your children similar? How are they different?
Point #2: Unsolicited Advice * Garrett is very committed as a parent to teaching the ‘right’ thing to his children. He’s had people reach out to him offering unsolicited advice about their parenting styles. * Danielle: Everybody is super judgy about parenting styles, and at some level, every parent feels like they have fucked up their kids.
QUESTION
How do you handle unsolicited advice when it comes your way?
Point #3: I Love You No Matter What * If Danielle had to choose only one thing to teach their children, it would be accountability coupled with love. “If you could embed accountability and love into a kid, I think that would solve the world’s problems.” * Years ago, Garrett began telling his daughters, “I love you, no matter what.” No matter what they do or say, he told them he will always love them.
QUESTION
If, as a parent, you could only teach your children one thing, what would that be?
Point #4: Boxes and Checklists * Just like in education, there’s a box that people try to put their kids into of ‘this is what it looks like to be successful.” And anything that doesn’t fit inside that box, they consider inaccurate or not right. * For most parents, they’re always trying to get it “right” with their children, so they always feel guilty. And because they never get it ‘right’ based on a checklist that never ends, they don’t focus on the actual belief systems they want to instill in their children.
QUESTION
How are you keeping your children inside a box?
Point #5: Core Beliefs * Garrett: You can teach your kids all kinds of tactics, but what are the important mindsets and skillsets that you ‘should’ teach your children? There are plenty of people who know how to do the dishes, yet are unable to produce in life. * I’m convinced that what people actually learn as children and what they take into their adult life is driven by the values and beliefs their parents instill in them, both by what they say and by what they watch their parents do.
QUESTION
What are the core beliefs that you are brainwashing your kids to believe that are empowering them as people?
Communication Challenge:
What are the actual belief systems that matter to you, and that you are instilling in your children? What are the beliefs about themselves and the world that you are consciously depositing into them?
Date Night Topic:
On your next Date Night, have a conversation about how you want your children to remember your interaction and love connection as a couple.
Quote of the Week:
“I was blown away when I got married at how horrifically unprepared I was to be a married man.”
–Garrett J White
“She’s not mine to manipulate and control. I’m there to guide and lead her; to show up and do the best I can as a parent.”
–Danielle K White
Grab some popcorn, folks, and get ready for another off the charts episode of the always spicy and highly entertaining Date Your Wife podcast, featuring the refreshing “tell it like it is” co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White. They’re at it once again as they delve into Garrett’s self-proclaimed favorite topic of Sex. Danielle calls Garrett out on his creepy strip shows in his weird thong and invites him to become more comfortable with his sexuality, and Garrett says he doesn’t want empty sex – aka vaginal masturbation. Fan favorites Quickie Quickie Porn Star and TTF are back in the mix, and there’s a new arrival on the scene: Slip ‘n Slide.
*EPISODE REPLAY FROM MARCH OF 2018.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Sexy Seduction 101 * Being sexy is as simple as walking around in a new bra and underwear while casually asking, “Have you seen my toothbrush?” Garrett suggests saving money by skipping the bra and just buying the panties. Sometimes it’s a ‘top-stays-on-bottom-comes-off’ kind of night. Other times, it’s an everything comes off, keep the lights on and do a little dancing around kind of night. * Most women need a little wining and dining before the main course. Take her there just a little bit and then worry about yourself.
QUESTION
How have QQPS (Quickie Quickie Porn Star) and TTF (Touch Me-Tell Me-Fuck Me) become game-changers in your marital sex life?
Point #2: Sex Therapy Is Not About Sex * Throughout their marriage, Danielle had never felt there was a safe space to talk about sex with Garrett, making it awkward for her to even bring up. She found herself starting to believe his story about her that she didn’t want to have sex. * Sex therapy for the White’s yields the single greatest breakthrough for Garrett after Danielle divulges a piece of information that instantly shreds a story he created during his first marriage and brought with him into theirs. Garrett creates a new story which shifts and rocks their world.
QUESTION
Men: What is your sexual story?
Point #3: The Perfect Storm * As a 15-year-old Mormon teen who has been raised that sex before marriage is taboo, Garrett divulged to his parents his plan to have sex with his 18-year-old girlfriend after the upcoming Prom. He immediately gets shipped away to live with his grandparents in Utah for a couple of months, and as a result, never has a conversation about it or closure with his girlfriend whom he has been dating for a year and is madly in love with. * Garrett dates his first wife under the umbrella that says sexual relations are taboo before marriage. Yet, they fool around and have sexual relations, lie about it to their religious leaders, adding to the guilt and shame created when he was 15. Sex in his marriage with Danielle becomes problematic, as Garrett carries into it this brewing cesspool of guilt, shame, and pain, while Danielle, because of her Mormon upbringing, feels like she has to stifle the sexual feelings that come naturally to her.
QUESTION
How has your upbringing shaped and influenced your attitude, beliefs, and stories about sex?
Point #4: Written in the Stars * In her astrological studies, Danielle is validated by her discoveries that, as a Taurus woman, she is very sensual, loves cuddling, and is very happily satisfied with her traditional approach to sex because a good thing never gets old. She’s been changing it up with QQPS, which Garrett loves. * Communication for Gemini’s is huge, and they love to be emotionally stimulated more than anything else. Garrett realized that he had gotten so disrespectful as a husband and exposes the lie that all he wanted was someone to have sex with every day. What has exploded their sex life is their connection to truth.
QUESTION
What is written in the stars about you individually that resonates with you, that can serve you and your spouse in your marriage?
Point #5: Your Story is Your Biggest Problem * Garrett: I didn’t know what our relationship would be if we weren’t always arguing about having sex. Danielle: I was fearful and wondering if we have a new story, does that mean we have a new story with somebody else? * There was a lot of action and collision that had to happen, which were really a pursuit of truth underneath the surface of all the lies that we were telling, which came in two forms: the blatant lies we were telling and the stories that we started to believe. Your stories are powerful enough to convert your husband or wife to believe.
QUESTION
What are the lies that the collision in your marriage is trying to uncover?
Communication Challenge: What is your sexual story? Do the investigation on your own about your own story, and then in a conversation with your spouse, share your results with them.
Date Night Topic: On your date night, be open to having a conversation about how the stories you tell are your biggest problems.
Quote of the Week: “We had come to the point where our stories had become so intense that it was almost easier for us to burn the story and burn the relationship…and just try again with somebody else. But the crazy part was, guess what we would have taken with us? The same fuckin story.”
—Garrett J White
“I bet a lot of men feel like that towards their wives [I need a vagina. We’re married. Your vagina is mine.] It devalues the actual qualities that they want and need to create fulfillment, and it devalues those qualities in themselves. They start looking at and treating their wives as objects. I felt that way and was thinking ‘you better give me more credit than just being a good piece of ass.”
—Danielle K White
PODCAST REPLAY Today we’re going to share with you an intense, potent and powerful interview with Danielle at the Warrior Empire event in December 2016. It was the first time Danielle took to the stage where she talked about what it’s like to be a woman married to a man living the Warrior’s Way.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: When a Wife Fights the Change Her Husband Wants to Make * In the beginning, Danielle was completely against how Garrett was showing up. He was going to self-help seminars and making her feel guilty for not going with him. He continued challenging her, which caused her to reevaluate who she was and who she wanted to become. * Danielle: Put yourself in your wife’s shoes. If she started implementing change, how would you react? People, in general, don’t like change because it’s scary. From a wife’s perspective, you can’t overwhelm her, but rather lead by example in the same way you would lead children.
QUESTION
Gentlemen, what is the way you initiate growth and change in your partner?
Point #2: Choosing In * There came a time when Danielle had to choose to be all in for herself AND their marriage. Garrett was moving in the direction he was going, and he was committed over time to a specific path. At the same time, they were trying to recover from chaos as a couple. * Danielle: I felt that both of us were fighting and neither of us was ready to give up. We were both not necessarily choosing in, but we weren’t out and were still very much connected. All it takes is that little piece of connection to rekindle and to rebuild.
QUESTION
How can you “choose in” to your marriage everyday to keep the flame burning or to rekindle a fading flame?
Point #3: Sex and Marriage * It’s all about give and take. You have to play the role a little bit and let go of your ego. In order to build that sexual chemistry that seems to leave after you get married, think about the feeling you had when you were dating and do what you did back then: you got your car washed, you got a new pair of shoes, you planned the date, you were flirty. * How did sex therapy help us? I felt like I could say what I was thinking without worrying about upsetting Garrett. Having a therapist is like having a sounding board where it’s immediately less triggering for both sides. That being said, Garrett got triggered at one point during a session and jumped up and did pushups because he was so pissed.
QUESTION
What do you do to keep the sexual chemistry strong in your relationship?
Point #4: Collision * Danielle: Whether the wife works or not, when couples grow, the wife goes into this “I can do everything” mode where it seems kind of masculine. It’s actually more cold and calculated where we don’t come across as very feminine, but instead, we’re in focus mode trying to get shit done. * Garrett: Gentlemen, the more you encourage your wife to change, the more she will rise in power, and the more collisions are going to take place. As Danielle has risen in power as a creator and a producer, her masculinity has also risen, so there’s this collision that exists inside of her. Sometimes the collision we experience is not as lovers or as a couple, but instead as two masculine energies colliding.
QUESTION
What happens when you collide with your spouse?
Point #5: Living the Warrior’s Way * Danielle: I’m addicted to the high of growing where it makes me feel like comfortable is no longer an option. Progressing as a person is now a high for me. How can I stay where I am when the sky’s the limit? Where things were once scary and chaotic in our life and relationship, we’re now in a much healthier space. * I look at where we are now and the only thing I feel is gratitude, humility, and excitement. If this has happened in the last five years, what’s going to happen in the next five years? I get glimpses of the future sometimes and I’m like, “Oh shit, that’s so cool!”
QUESTION
How have you and your spouse changed as a direct result of living the Warrior’s Way?
Communication Challenge:
Take some time to have a conversation around this idea of collision. How can you use this tool to better serve your relationship?
Date Night Topic:
On your next Date Night, take a trip down memory lane and talk about what you both used to do in the early days of your dating and start implementing those things to rekindle and ignite the flame of sexual chemistry between you.
Quote of the Week:
“Once men experience Warrior, they become more invested in their children, which produces a new kind of chaos while they figure out how to balance this with their role as a husband, and as a hunter and provider.”
—Garrett J White
“No matter who you’re with, you’re going to have problems. With Garrett and I, it made more sense to rebuild our relationship than to burn it to the ground.”
—Danielle K White
Being married can be a complete shit show AND amazing... all at the same time! While most marriages end up in sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have committed to creating something a little bit better than that and a bit more fun. Join them in this week's podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all-important topic of communication.
* This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from May 2018.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark * You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don’t fight, and things are generally good, but there’s no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together…and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel. * Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom-tailored design jackets.
QUESTION
When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel?
Point #2: Sugar ‘n Spice * Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it’s the spice they’re trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I’m talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations – it’s everything! * Danielle: There’s a lot of spice in our marriage, and we collide a lot with our personalities – both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice, for me, is “I fucking hate you,” which turns into “I fucking love you.”
QUESTION
How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy?
Point #3: Love Notes * Making daily deposits into your family’s life is part of living the Warrior’s Way, which is part of something called the CORE 4. Men typically don’t know how to communicate their feelings and don’t send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands. * While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he’s having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language.
QUESTION
What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes?
Point #4: Give and Take * Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband. * Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first, I wasn’t allowing space for him to do that.
QUESTION
Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them?
Point #5: Dance With Me * Garrett: As you can tell, we’re still working on this, which is the ability actually to communicate with and understand the language of our partner. * Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: 1- appreciate the love language they receive in, and 2-learn to give the love language that the people we’re married to want to receive.
QUESTION
What does your daily dance of communication look like?
Communication Challenge:
Danielle: Garrett needs to be told, “I love you,” but my communication style is different. How about you? Is your communication style verbal or silent? What about your spouse’s? Do you think one is wrong and one is right?
Date Night Topic:
For women, what is your husband’s love language, and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife?
Quote of the Week:
“I’m essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning.”
—Garrett J White
“We’ll argue about a topic, and one of us has to reach over to the other side and reciprocate eventually. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home.”
—Danielle K White
Welcome to a brand new episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast! The White’s are back after the recent birth of baby Isla, and in classic White style, share stories and details of their birth experience. As a bonus, we get a recommendation from Garrett for his new favorite breakfast burrito and a surprise prediction.
Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Change of Plans * In the final weeks leading up to baby Isla’s birth, Danielle began experiencing some health issues, which ultimately led to an early inducement and delivery. “I always had this intuitive feeling that she would come a little early.” * Danielle had considered doing a natural birth due to the not so great experiences with epidurals during her previous two births. But with the Pitocin speeding up and magnifying the contractions, she opted for an epidural at the eleventh hour. However, it only reached mid-thigh, which made it possible for Danielle to feel the intense pain and ebb & flow of each contraction.
QUESTION
What types of births have you and your spouse experienced?
Point #2: ISLA Hand-tied Hairline * With 48 hours to come up with a name for her new hand-tied hairline, Danielle decided to name it after their daughter, Isla. “Most people think we named the baby after the hairline, but it was the other way around.” * “It was so ironic that Isla came out with this super amazing hair that’s super thick, platinum blonde. It’s so cute! She’s so teeny and has the full head of hair!”
QUESTION
Were your babies born with or without hair?
Point #3: Skin-to-Skin * Garrett is celebrating the fact that he did not pass out as he did with their second baby. “I stood there like a champion holding Danielle’s left leg throughout labor. She didn’t even know I was in the room, yet there I was holding the left leg amidst the most intense, fierce pushing I have seen from my wife.” * “Watching my wife naturally go through contractions was a new experience for me, not to mention the experience immediately following the birth. Instead of the nurses whisking Isla away, the doctor held Isla in front of me and said, “Congratulations, dad. kiss her. He then placed Isla on Danielle's bare chest."
QUESTION
What has changed with the births of each of your babies?
Point #4: Grand Production * Danielle is recovering really well and has to remind herself to take it easy. “I love the newborn, snuggly phase, but I also love staying busy and active. I’m trying to soak it all in because I know how fast it goes.” * It’s been eight years since their last birth and one of the things Danielle had forgotten about which is causing some frustration is how long it takes to get out of the house with a newborn, and how big of a production it is.
QUESTION
What is your favorite “baby stage?”
Point #5: Another Baby in the Forecast? * When asked by Garrett if there was another baby in their future, Danielle replied, “I don’t want to commit. Don’t get snipped on me or anything, but I can’t commit to closing the door AND I can’t commit to having another baby either.” * Garrett: Before Baby Isla came out, Danielle said, “I’m done.” But mark my words. By the time Isla is about six years old, Danielle’s going to want a secondary friend for Isla. My prediction is, Danielle has another baby at age 40.”
QUESTION
When did you know it was time to have another baby or when it was time to stop?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about the different types of birth options available.
Date Night Topic:
“To have more or not to have more, that is the question.” In a twist from a classic Shakespearian line, what are your thoughts about adding family members? How do you come to an agreement?
Quote of the Week:
“To sit and look at my daughter on my wife’s chest was amazing! And getting to kiss her right away was amazing! It was so much more intimate, so much more spiritual, so much more connected than any of the other three children’s births.”
–Garrett J White
“I don’t commit to a lot because once I do, I’m 120% in; this WILL go down. When I commit, I know I’m going to follow through 100%.”
—Danielle K White
Communication is the topic in this week’s Date Your Wife episode where Danielle and Garrett discuss growth, conflict & collision, and how we all take on different characters and play different roles in our relationships.
Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Activate the Gremlin * Danielle is the owner of DKW Styling Salon and has created a hair extension system called Natural Beaded Rows. She and her team are basking in the afterglow of their most recent three-day convention, where they hosted 350 students eager to learn Danielle’s system. * Garrett: A comment came in from an associate of ours who was at the convention. “You know, Danielle is like a gremlin – cuddly, nice, sweet, and fun. And when you pour a little water on it and out comes the beast. I watched Danielle speak and train as I have never before seen her. Her Gremlin was activated.”
QUESTION
What causes the Gremlin in you to activate?
Point #2: Characters & Roles * Garrett: As human beings, we take on many different roles and characters. Inside of marriage, we are required to create and master a diverse number of them. * Danielle: In business, a true professional knows when to use each character in the different roles they are required to take on. As women, we have to know when to wear the work hat, when to wear the mom hat, and when to wear the wife and lover hat.
QUESTION
What are the different characters and roles you take on in your marriage?
Point #3: Growing At Different Speeds * Danielle: When we lost everything, and Garrett was trying to discover himself, I was always telling him, “just figure it out.” He would want to share and connect with me, and when I didn’t want to, he felt I wasn’t growing. I decided I wasn’t going to worry about what Garrett was doing, but instead, work on myself and stay in my own lane. * Garrett: We grow at different speeds and at different times. This changes our roles and makes communication difficult. The challenge becomes staying in your own lane. When you’re trying to communicate, and you’re both in two totally different places, it can be challenging.
QUESTION
How do you handle growing at different speeds within your marriage?
Point #4: Choice vs Force * Garrett: I got to the point where my power and my path were going to be about choosing me and choosing the path that I wanted -and inviting Danielle to come along with me. “This is where I’m going. I would like you to come with me, but if you don’t want to come, that’s okay, I’m still going to go.” The more I took that stand, the better our communication became inside of our relationship. * Danielle: I felt so much better when it became more about me getting to choose rather than feeling like you were forcing or dragging me. If you go to an event that’s all about self-help or self-awareness, you don’t want to come home to your spouse and say, “By the way, you’re broken, and you should probably come with me and get fixed.”
QUESTION
Are you more likely to force or to encourage choice in your relationships?
Point #5: The Control Factor * Garrett: I’ll have you consider that the worst thing that could ever exist inside of a relationship is where there is no collision in communication. Collision must happen, and inside of that, control must, at times, be surrendered. * Danielle: To ultimately get what you want, you have to choose your battles. Sometimes when we’re fighting, and realize we’re on the same team, we let it go, calm it down, and then revisit that conversation at a later time.
QUESTION
How do you handle collision in your relationship?
Communication Challenge:
How do you handle and resolve conflict in your marriage?
Date Night Topic:
What are you committed to as a couple in the area of growth?
Quote of the Week:
“When you’re growing, and your partner may not be growing at the same speed, you have to stay committed to what you want, move forward, and invite them into the picture.”
—Garrett J White
“Learn how to communicate with your partner in that safe zone.”
—Danielle K White
In this new and refreshing episode of the “Podcast by the Pool” aka the Date Your Wife podcast, today’s topic comes as a result of a recent comment posted in response to a marketing piece on Garrett’s social media and sparks an important conversation about taking ownership of where you are in life…no matter where that is. We also get a little pregnancy update as the White’s enter the final stretch. To see what Garrett and Danielle are up to professionally, be sure to check out dkwstyling.com or betheman.com.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Own It * A recent comment on Garrett’s social media prompted today’s topic of serving and playing at your level, no matter what it is, and not be ashamed of where you’re at, regardless of where that is. You see people with money trying to hide and play humble, and then you have others who don’t have things on lockdown but pretend that they do. It’s the inability to own where you are at any given time. * Garrett: Look at the crazy dynamic of this. In your relationship, you’re not where you want to be, so you lie to everyone about where you are, pretending you’re something you ‘re not. Then, you get somewhere that’s legit, and you feel weird about being there, so you lie about where you are and try to downplay it.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you pretend to be something or someone you’re not?
Point #2: Lambo Be Gone * Garrett has had conversations with about five businessmen who have bought a Lamborghini because it’s always been something they’ve wanted. But once they had it, they felt so uncomfortable about what people were saying to them and the attention they were drawing that they ended up selling their car. * Garrett: So you get to a place where you’ve created the success and produced something inside of your world, but then you start apologizing for it. You’re at the bottom and trying to up-play; you’re at the top and trying to downplay. When the fuck are you going to accept who you are?
QUESTION
As you look inside your world, where do you tend to make decisions based on other people’s opinions about you rather than having confidence in your own choices?
Point #3: Just the Facts * The White’s have experienced both ends of the spectrum, both in their finances and in their marriage. Inside of being at the bottom end of the spectrum, it’s difficult to own where you are and to be honest about it. * Garrett: Your greatest access to power inside of yourself and inside of marriage is to actually be honest about where you are. But the vast majority of society right now is filled with this idea that you can’t be ok with where you are, and that you have to constantly pose yourself to be something that you’re not.
QUESTION
When is the last time you were truly honest about the facts of your life?
Point #4: Sexual Desert * Garrett: At 43, I’m at a different level. I’m more mature and I’ve learned to deal with myself in a totally different way than the previous pregnancies. But…I’m getting a little nervous. We’ve created a new routine that is obviously warranted because of the baby, but I get nervous as a guy. What if it (our sexual life) never comes back? * Danielle: Pregnancy and sex are awkward for both the guys and the girls. When you’re pregnant, you literally have another human growing inside of you and you’re kind of operating at 65% capacity. You’re trying to be sexy, but everything is more awkward. I’m not really concerned about the next chapter once I’ve recovered and healed…and I’m excited to be back to myself again!
QUESTION
How have you and your spouse handled the ‘sexual desert’ during pregnancies?
Point #5: Taking Risks * Garrett: There’s a piece inside all of us that has to make a decision, and it’s a decision that has to be made every day – several times a day. It’s a decision to rise and to build. But most individuals and couples aren’t willing to take the risks necessary. You’ve got to be willing to take a risk. And the first risk you’ve got to take is being honest with yourself. * Danielle: You have to get a little uncomfortable. You have to be willing to change or do something different. And some of those things might not be for you but for your man – and he’s going to have to cross the table and do the same thing for you. It might not be something you normally would do but ultimately, it will serve you both and strengthen your relationship.
QUESTION
When was the last time you took a risk as both an individual and as a couple?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about taking risks and what that looks like for you inside your marriage.
Date Night Topic:
How to navigate the Sexual Desert during pregnancy is this week’s Date Night topic. Bounce ideas off each other and truly get honest with how you each feel.
Quote of the Week:
“If a couple doesn’t get divorced legally, there’s a separation and divorce that has to happen spiritually with people as they start to shift and change. Your marriage – the way it is – has to die in order for it to become the marriage you want it to be.”
—Garrett J White
“Who’s the poser? Is it the person down-playing or the person up-playing? Is it the person pretending to have what they don’t have, or the person with a shit ton of money pretending that they don’t?”
—Danielle K White
Today’s conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship. *This is a previously aired episode from April 2018.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Men Must Produce * When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, there’s a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you. * Generally, women want to be taken care of. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to ‘be the man’ and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he’s the one producing.
QUESTION
Does this ring true for you as a couple?
Point #2: Money is a Tool * Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. It allows you to do so much shit as a couple or it constrains you to do so much shit as a couple. We have friends who celebrate their success and use it as a tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they’re broke. * Danielle: There was a period of about five years where we were experiencing rapid growth and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I’ve come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone – it’s just a matter of me being comfortable with me.
QUESTION
Are you living in a scarcity mindset while being surrounded by your wealth?
Point #3: You Must Leap * In 2009 after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn’t have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance and something in my soul said, “You must fucking leap!” * Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew what he was capable of doing and becoming so much more.
QUESTION
Where in your life have you settled?
Point #4: Don’t Settle * Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. My wife helped me see that being driven by the money is not about being driven by the money. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, inside of that place it forces you to become a new man. * Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there are consequences; but if I just stay in the safe zone, then I can just ride this out forever. If you’re listening to this and you’re feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it.
QUESTION
Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith?
Point #5: Team Work * Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me. * Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way.
QUESTION
What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other’s growth?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation as a couple and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off?
Date Night Topic:
Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life.
Quote of the Week:
“My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that we use money production as a way to accelerate that.”
—Garrett J White
“Be you at every level.”
—Danielle K White
The White’s have a conversation about the last stages of pregnancy and feedback inside of marriage.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Am I Really Waddling That Much? * With four weeks to go until the arrival of baby Isla (at the time of this recording), the White’s have entered the home stretch…and Danielle’s really feeling it. “These last three to four weeks seem like a lifetime and I am literally counting the days.” * On their recent dinner & movie Date Night, an older man took one look at Danielle and remarked, “Wow! Are you due any day? Don’t have the baby in the theater!” She has a few choice words for people who make comments to pregnant ladies when they are obviously close to delivery: fuck off!
QUESTION
Ladies, what are some of the things people asked you when you were in the pregnancy home stretch?
Point #2: Guys Are Clueless * When it comes to pregnancy, guys are pretty much clueless and clearly, they don’t know what to say when they see a pregnant lady. “I think guys are just trying to say something nice or funny when they make a remark like “don’t have the baby in the theatre.” * Danielle: The only thing you can say to a pregnant girl is, “How are you feeling? Looks great, you’re almost there. That’s appropriate.” Garrett tries to be supportive but he looks at Danielle with concerned eyes, a furrowed brow, and a face that says “Oh, that looks so awful…are you ok?”
QUESTION
Men, how do you support your wife when she’s pregnant?
Point #3: Erection in the Desert * This pregnancy adventure has opened up the way for the White’s to have a conversation about bringing two books to the marketplace with working titles Etiquette For a Pregnant Lady, and What to Expect When You’re Expecting – Penis Edition. * Garrett: “The more I talk about this topic, the more I believe that this is the window. If I was ever going to do it, it’s gotta happen now because I believe this will be our last baby.” According to Danielle, Garrett’s would be a four-page book. But Garrett begs to differ.
QUESTION
Ladies, what are some of the things your husband has had to sacrifice during your pregnancies
Point #4: Snoogle, Belly Edition * During sex, Garrett says he’s been sucking in his abs to make room for the baby, something Danielle has been noticing and thinks is really weird. Garrett sees it as “I’m offering support like a Snoogle, belly edition, while you’re having sex with me.” * During the last several weeks of pregnancy, a lot of men think that having sex falls into this weird, awkward, extraterrestrial territory. They’re trying not to hurt the baby (even though that is absolutely not possible), and they also want to create a comfortable space for their wives. But it usually backfires.
QUESTION
How do you and your spouse handle sex during the final few weeks of pregnancy?
Point #5: Balls of Steel * According to Garrett, a wife is one of the few people in a man’s life who can speak to a man in a way that no one else can. “They have all the data and so they can jab straight into a guy’s balls. What’s gotta happen over time is that your balls have to become steel. She’s refining you and getting you to a place of power.” * Danielle: “My intent is never to go after the jugular or land a straight shot to the balls; it’s more out of wanting to help Garrett. Yet a lot of times, I’ll be missing all the facts and details and will state my opinion which can come across as a naggy know-it-all or as an attack on Garrett, which isn’t my intent.”
QUESTION
What is the state of communication with your spouse?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about feedback inside of your marriage.
Date Night Topic:
What have been the conditions and results from light bulb moments or major shifts inside of your marriage?
Quote of the Week:
“Part of the role that your wife plays in your life is the ability to be the “critical bitch.” Her job is to criticize and your job is to reframe criticism into a place of hey listen, my wife is simply jabbing at the king to wake the fuck up.”
—Garrett J White
“I think you have to come to this place inside of your marriage where you can take something that is meant to nag or antagonize you, and flip it so it becomes beneficial rather than something that will destroy.”
—Danielle K White
It’s never a dull moment with the White’s in this week’s edgy and spicy Date Your Wife podcast on the topic of Communication, as they delve into the world of Astrology and Natal Charts, revealing startlingly accurate and sometimes surprising traits about each other. At times their entertaining and flirtatious banter delivers jabs akin to a highly competitive sparring match. *This is a previously aired episode from March 2018.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Understanding Trumps Assumption * During their recent vacation, Danielle found herself completely submerged in the world of Astrology, studying personality and compatibility traits of both she and Garrett. What has taken Garrett fifteen years to discover about himself, Danielle has been able to figure out in ten minutes while lying on the gorgeous beaches of Maui sipping a Margareta. * Danielle: I’m just trying to figure out how we operate, why we do the things we do, and what makes us tick. With communication specifically, that’s what triggers people. You can say something that will trigger a person if you don’t have an understanding of who they are, where they’re coming from, or what their intentions are.
QUESTION
How does having an understanding of your spouse’s modus operandi influence the way you communicate with them?
Point #2: Is Your Relationship Account Overdrawn? * Garrett has been working late every night and Danielle wants to spend more time with him, which she recently communicated to him. He has been wanting her to communicate her feelings more often to him, but once she did, Garrett flipped it into an argument. A text and audio battle ensued. * Garrett: Part of the problem is you don’t make any deposits in my account and tell me I’m doing a great job, which is very important for me. I feel like you are starving me. Danielle: I’ve come to realize that communication is very important to you and that you always need tons of validation, tons of communication, and tons of praise.
QUESTION
When was the last time you made a deposit in your relationship account?
Point #3: Can You Outsource Your Love Language? * When our gas tanks are low, we have zero desire to fill up each other’s gas tanks. We start to drift and become strangers in the night, and the next thing you know we’re talking divorce. This was always our pattern. I was giving her what I wanted to receive instead of what she wanted and needed to receive, and vice versa. * Garrett realized when he sends a love note to Danielle, it’s because he wants to receive love notes. Danielle: Can I have someone else write love notes to you? Garrett: You want to outsource your love? Ok, you go outsource it and send me a daily gdamn love letter. And I’ll outsource a guy to show up and sit on the couch and just sit there while you put your legs on him.
QUESTION
How has understanding each other’s Love Languages improved the way you communicate?
Point #4: Respect is Like Peanut Butter * Danielle: I think we have a lot of respect for each other and recognize how hard we have worked to get where we are. Even though we might not think the same, we have the same intentions and goals. I’ve realized I am never going to get you to see the world the way I see it. And I need to just accept that. * Garrett: I think we have the same energy and drive. But we definitely don’t agree on everything and that’s okay. Part of being able to course correct comes down to respect. It’s the ability to not have to agree on everything, and the respect is what takes you through, not love.
QUESTION
Do you feel like you must agree on everything in order to have a healthy, thriving marriage? Why or why not?
Point #5: Collision is Inevitable * Danielle: My advice for women when you want to share something with your man is to approach him in a way where you can actually have a safe conversation and express your feelings without things going south. Frame the conversation so that it is coming from the heart and not the head, and frame it in a way that you can actually get past your shit. * Garrett: Here’s my suggestion for the guys: The better you know yourself, the better you can communicate with your wife what you want and what you don’t want.
QUESTION
How do you handle collision?
Communication Challenge:
Be open to the possibility of doing some research about yourselves in some new places, and then have some fun talking about what you discover. Here are some suggestions for you: astrowow.com, kolbe.com, colorcode.com
Date Night Topic:
On your Date Night this week, have a conversation about what it is you actually want.
Quote of the Week:
“I’ve been studying something called the Natal Chart which is a tool I use within my Soul Purpose Blueprint. What I know about Gemini’s is that we run the Universe and we are are the sexual gods of the Universe.”
—Garrett J White
“Now that we have come to understand and respect one another, even though we’re a lot different – and yes, we’re still going to get into arguments and disagree on things – I think we are at that place of respect where we can come together. His strengths help me, and my strengths help him. I think our businesses getting to the level they are at is the result of us working together and playing off each other’s strengths and weaknesses.”
—Danielle K White
A picture-perfect sunset by the sea is the backdrop for this week’s Date Your Wife podcast with married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White. We discover why Danielle has stepped away from her salon earlier than anticipated and what that has to do with Garrett overcoming his aversion to needles. The topics of sex during pregnancy, surrogacy, and favoritism are also part of today’s conversation. This episode is all about life transitions and how the entire White clan is doing their part to make this transition as smooth and as seamless as possible.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Change of Plans * At the time of recording this episode, Danielle is 33 weeks pregnant with seven weeks to go until the arrival of their daughter, Isla. A visit to the ER reveals some news that requires Danielle to alter her plans for the next seven weeks. * “I stopped working a little bit earlier than anticipated, and I’m just trying to take it easy. But mentally, it’s a little bit torturous. Yesterday, I went to CVS, and I’m literally standing in line chatting with a bunch of eighty-year-olds while I wait for my prescription and look for compression socks.”
QUESTION
Where in your world have new circumstances required you to alter your original plans?
Point #2: Letting Go * While at the ER, Danielle was on the phone conducting business with her team members finalizing details of a huge event coming up. When her lead trainer caught wind of where Danielle was and what she was doing, her message to Danielle was, “Let go!” * Danielle: “There comes a point where your health is involved that puts things into perspective. I need to slow down, I need to let go, and I need to trust that my teams have this. Sometimes in life, we have to understand that people may not always do things as you would, but we have to give them the opportunity to rise.”
QUESTION
Inside your world, where has the ‘letting go’ opened up your world and given people inside of your life the opportunity to rise?
Point #3: Favorites * Bailee, the White’s twelve-year-old daughter, makes a guest appearance on the show and adds her two-cents when it comes to baby Isla possibly being the “favored” child. * “I’m really good with babies, but I already know the main focus is going to be on the baby… and Ruby’s gonna have a tantrum about that. You can already tell Isla is the favorite. She has a hair brand named after her and she has her own cool room with everything new.”
QUESTION
What are your experiences with the “favored child syndrome?”
Point #4: The Sex Game * Garrett brought up the fact that there’s not a manual for the guys when it comes to having a pregnant wife. Men have a lot of questions and go through transitions of their own during this time. “The moment this is brought up,” Garrett remarks, “you’re thrown into the blender of you’re a pussy.” * “What do the guys do when their sex drive is extremely high? What about sex during the third trimester? What does it mean when you’re not getting laid? What do you do when the sex game completely disappears? If we do have sex, will I hurt the baby?” According to Danielle, “There’s not a guy on the planet who is long enough to poke his baby in the head!”
QUESTION
How are you and your partner handling this transition from the male’s perspective?
Point #5: Seasons of Life * Garrett: You’ve got these transitionary moments of up and down and up and down; seasons of one thing, and seasons of another. Things are constantly evolving and changing as a couple, and you’ve got to be ok with the fact that they’re changing. * Right now, we’re in a big-ass transition. I look at the fruit of what this time gives us, and it’s giving us an opportunity to slow down. It’s giving us an opportunity to look at things from a different angle, and it’s giving us, as a couple, an opportunity to connect in ways we maybe wouldn’t normally connect. And, it’s giving our family a chance to have a different focus.
QUESTION
What lessons have your life transitions taught you? What opportunities have they brought into your life?
Communication Challenge:
Do you have a focus on a vision beyond the transition?
Date Night Topic:
Consider what transition you’re in and have a conversation about it over a bowl of ice cream.
Quote of the Week:
“As a couple, if you don’t stay open in the transition, you’re never going to see the window to the next play. It’s very easy to close it down and to want to go back to the way things were.”
—Garrett J White
“I’m going to be smarter this time. I’m going to enjoy my kids AND keep my sanity. I’m going to be with them, and I’m also going to allow help to come in to help me transition through this period of my life. As moms, we’re human… and we also need our space.”
—Danielle K White
Get ready for a spicy conversation in this week’s brand new episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast with married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White, who are preparing to enter a new chapter of their life with the arrival of baby Isla in eight weeks. Join them as they candidly discuss the challenges that come with pregnancy and the seasons & chapters the births of each of their children have opened up for them.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Pregnancy Desert * The White’s are in full-on pregnancy mode as they enter the eight-week countdown for the arrival of baby Isla who is due to arrive mid-July 2019. Danielle has reached the mega uncomfortable stage where some mornings she struggles to roll out of bed, while Garrett admits they’re in the pregnancy desert when it comes to sex. * “The last eight weeks, I literally transform into some kind of cartoon character. My body starts to retain water and it just gets super ugly. It’s rough.
QUESTION
Describe what life has been like in the home stretch phase of your pregnancies.
Point #2: His & Her Sacrifices * When a woman is pregnant, the physical sacrifices she makes to carry and birth that baby are both substantial and obvious. The sacrifice men make, not so obvious. But Garrett says the sacrifices are nonetheless all too real and mostly go unnoticed and are not taken seriously. * “As a guy, being in the homestretch is a very interesting game. How do I not be a dick and show up in a selfish way, and at the same time, how do I maintain and manage what I’m up to and what I’m about? When our wives are pregnant, we have no leg to stand on. And inside of that, there’s some serious stuff that goes on for us.”
QUESTION
What is the “unspoken” shit you go through as a man when your wife is pregnant?
Point #3: Roll Me Over * Danielle has good days and bad days. Sometimes she barely notices she’s pregnant until she goes to get out of bed and feels like a potato bug stuck on its back. * “It takes a lot of energy to be pregnant, and I feel like every ounce of energy I give has to be more focused. Even though I’m operating at fifty percent, that fifty percent is pretty damn good because I make sure whatever energy I put out is worth my time.”
QUESTION
Ladies, how is your energy when you’re pregnant? How does it affect your everyday routine?
Point #4: Suck It Up Phase * As a man watching his wife go through pregnancy, Garrett feels super-protective and super supportive, yet he almost feels like they are in a holding pattern …even though they’re not. “I feel like, at some point, you and I lose connection through the pregnancy phase… but not in a bad way.” * “It’s almost like we’re in a season of war where there are war rules and peace rules. During war, there’s a different set of principles. As a husband, I’m trying to stay active in the game and at the same time, support Danielle in whatever ways she needs. We’re in the homestretch of the ’suck it up’ phase.”
QUESTION
What does your ‘suck it up” phase look like?
Point #5: Why Do You Stay? * Each child’s arrival into the White home has brought new life and a new chapter into their lives, and they feel baby Isla will do the same. “Every child has come at a different season in our life – Parker with my first wife, then Bailee right before things were about to fall apart, and then Ruby. Without the birth of Ruby, I don’t think we make it.” * Danielle: I feel like a lot of times, women stay in relationships because of the children, or they use that as their excuse. Really, they just crave security, and that’s why they stay. And that’s kind of how it was with Ruby. She kept us together. Women want safety and security, no matter what form that comes in.
QUESTION
When things got tough in your marriage, what part did the children play in keeping you together and weathering the storms?
Communication Challenge:
Do you think men make sacrifices when their wives are pregnant? Why or why not?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about the different seasons and chapters you entered after the births of each of your children.
Quote of the Week:
“Marriage itself is a game of seasons, and each season demands a different set of skillsets. But the one thing that has to always be there are two people who are showing up and offering as much as they can.”
—Garrett J White
“When you’re making a decision, don’t come up with excuses. Literally, look where you’re at and decide to make a decision that’s going to best support you. In supporting yourself, you support others. Not supporting yourself is actually selfish.”
—Danielle K White
In today’s episode, Garrett and Danielle tackle the topic of parenting after just returning from an epic family vacation in Maui. As much as they love spending time together as a family, there’s still guilt that comes as they juggle creating & building their business empires with raising and spending quality time with their children.
*This is a previously aired episode from February 27, 2018.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Mommy and Daddy Guilt * Garrett: I was stuck inside the story that everything I was doing was fucking up my kids and messing with their future. As a businessman this is a real killer because we are so busy with our businesses, how do we deal with the guilt and shame of not showing up as a father in a way that is actually connected or makes you feel good? * Danielle felt guilty as a mom, especially when she was a younger mom micromanaging everything and always feeling like she always had to be there for her kids. Many women have a really hard time spending money or time on themselves, which can make going out on dates with their husbands extremely stressful, especially when you have really young kids.
QUESTION
How has playing the guilt card suffocated your relationship? What are some ways you can begin letting go and freeing yourself of guilt and shame?
Point #2: Out of the Mouths of Babes * During the podcast, their 11-year-old daughter makes a surprise appearance via telephone, candidly answering questions posed by her parents. When asked about vacations as a family: “I think it’s important because you get time off from work and get to spend time with us for a whole week instead of just seeing us after school, after your Date Nights, or in the morning.” * Danielle has fought hard for the vacations. She sees them as a time to reconnect as a family, create memorable experiences for everyone, and as a way to establish family traditions.
QUESTION
What are some of your favorite memories of family trips or vacations you have taken?
Point #3: Fulfillment Comes From Purpose * Garrett and Danielle both have a Purpose beyond each other and a Purpose beyond their parenting. That Purpose fulfills both of them individually, then that individual connection with themselves connects with each other as a couple, and that ‘couple love’ spreads down into their children. * As they are more often on the same page, and more ok with the idea of who they are as individuals, this has opened up the possibility for their children to see a new path for living. At the end of the day, parenting is about role modeling how to live. The one skillset that you should give your children? How to powerfully live the truth of who they are.
QUESTION
What Purpose have you found for yourselves individually beyond your relationship or children? How can you support each other in living that more fully?
Point #4: Make Time For Each Other * We have this faulty belief system that says my marriage must come secondary to the raising of my children. We think that somehow the raising of our children will happen with more power from a couple that’s disconnected, doesn’t love each other, aren’t having sex, and are not communicating. * While in Maui, about 90% of the couples staying at the Four Seasons were in their late 50s and 60s, completely bored with and disconnected from each other, and questioning if they even wanted to stay together. They had lost themselves inside of the focus on their children.
QUESTION
What can you begin doing in your marriage to prevent yourselves from becoming a statistic when the kids are grown?
Point #5: Date Night is Non-negotiable * Danielle wasn’t always a passionate advocate of Date Night. Garrett had to fight for what has now become normal inside of their relationship: weekly Date Nights. He cautions men that it’s not going to be easy at first – you’re going to have a wife that is dealing with all of the guilt and emotions surrounding the stress of leaving the kids with a babysitter, not to mention reconciling the cost of the entire evening. * Gentlemen, take charge and make this shit happen! Don’t make Date Nights negotiable. Put your crown on, pick up your shield & your sword, and fight for the shit required to put your relationship back on track. A couple of resources to help you with that: care.com and warriorbook.com
QUESTION
When was your last Date Night?
Communication Challenge:
Discuss the actions you feel inspired to take after listening to today’s podcast.
Date Night Topic:
1 – Go on a Date Night to schedule Date Nights.
2 – Have a conversation about the guilt that you may be experiencing individually and as a couple.
Quote of the Week:
“I would have you consider that the greatest parenting you could offer your children is to demonstrate a great relationship with your partner. You want to be a better father? Then date their mother. You want to be a better father? Then make love to their mother. You want to be a better father? Then show them the example of what it is to be a man fighting for a relationship and for a marriage.”
—Garrett J White
“You chose to get married. You chose to have a family. There’s connection with your spouse and there’s connection with each of your children. You will always be their mom, but you’re not always going to be their parent. As you find some Purpose and Passion in your life, it’s not going to take away from anything that you will give your kids. In fact, it will give more to your kids. Allow yourself permission to let go of that guilt and find something for yourself.”
—Danielle K White
Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about the three components necessary in order to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from 2018.*
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: The Mirror in the Closet * Danielle has a mirror and bench inside her closet which comes in handy for the “get it done” sex. “It’s a good view for us both: He’s got his mirror and I’ve got my shoes,” says Danielle. * Garrett: It’s awesome. Not only is it great sex, but it’s also visual content and stimulus for my mind for days.
QUESTION
How can you spice up your “get it done” sex?
Point #2: Date Your Wife Podcast * Garrett came to Danielle last year at this time and told her they were going to be doing a weekly podcast called Date Your Wife. At the time of this recording, they are ready to hit their 50th episode which represents at least 25 hours of communication. * Garrett: The podcast was a favorable condition that we created with time, energy, and money, and has proven to be the best therapy of all time for us.
QUESTION
What favorable conditions have you created in order to have better communication with your spouse?
Point #3: Lacking Sex? * If you’re a guy and sex is not happening, it’s a guarantee that what is also not happening is communication – direct, intimate communication which is the ability to communicate and connect. * If you have not invested time, energy, or money to create those conditions, then you also cannot be entitled to the results that come through sex and connection.
QUESTION
Where in your relationship are you investing money and energy, but not time?
Point #4: Date Night * You must create favorable conditions for communication on your dates. If you are always going out with friends and family for your Date Nights, that is not an environment where the two of you are able to have deep, intimate conversation. * Garrett enjoys getting together with other couples about once a month, but anything more than is too much, even if they’re good friends because it turns into Team Girls and Team Guys instead of the one-on-one time together that they are desiring on their dates.
QUESTION
What has been your Date Night pattern?
Point #5: Time, Energy, and Money * If you’re going to create communication, you must be willing to create favorable conditions for communication. You’re going to have to invest time, energy, and money at some level, whatever it is. * Many men will not invest the time and energy, but will invest the money, or will invest the time and energy, but not invest any money. All three components of the Trifecta must be present.
QUESTION
What portion of the Trifecta are you missing?
Communication Challenge:
Figure out how you’re going to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage.
Date Night Topic:
What can you add to your sex life to spice up those times when you have the “let’s get it done” sex?
Quote of the Week:
“You must be willing to invest to create favorable conditions for communication to exist.”
—Garrett J White
“Women look to men for safety and security. In reaching for that safety and security you have to look inward and realize that you are part of creating your own safety and security inside of that relationship.”
—Danielle K White
In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Saving & Investing * As Danielle steps back and looks at their amazing businesses and lifestyle, she is curious if there is a way to start putting more money into other areas, like savings, in addition to life insurance. She wonders if she is ignoring signs from their past mistakes, knowing that their current lifestyle is more abundant than ever before. * Garrett: My wife has pushed for our life to rise over and over again. At this point, we save more money than we’ve ever saved in our whole lives. I’ve also gone from the only place where I would invest is in the business, and have moved into the place of investing in the family.
Ask Yourself: How are you doing in the area of savings?
Point #2: Obsession * The challenge inside of marriage when it comes to the topic of money is this: making money, growing money, keeping money, and leveraging money. Seventeen years ago, after reading the book ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad,’ Garrett realized for the first time that he could make money and became obsessed with it. * He went back and forth between the hustle mode of making money and the phase of growing money as he built teams and processes which led him to the game of keeping money. Over the past several years he has invested and put strategies into place which have benefited them in massive ways inside their bank accounts and savings vaults.
Ask Yourself: Where are you as a couple when it comes to making & keeping money?
Point #3: Building a Legacy * Danielle: We live an amazing lifestyle. I’m at the point where I want to be able to build a legacy; an empire. If we stopped working ten years from now, I want to know that we could still live our amazing lifestyle for years to come plus help our children if we needed to. * My parents live well but they can’t stop working. My dad is 69 and is still building custom homes because they have to continue working to maintain their lifestyle. I look at both of our parents and don’t want to live like either of them.
Ask Yourself: What do you ultimately desire?
Point #4: A Team Effort * Danielle: Ladies, money is a tough conversation. Whether you’re a woman who can take care of herself, or you’re the Mom CEO of the family, it’s nice to have a guy that takes care of you. * I also want to be a part of this team effort and part of the decisions. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and be naive about what’s going on.
Ask Yourself: How do you handle money decisions in your relationship?
Point #5: Maintain Or Increase? * Garrett to Danielle: Would you be willing to maintain our current lifestyle even though our businesses are increasing in revenue? We would maintain our current game, and everything else would go pure cash with no expense increase whatsoever in our personal lifestyle over the next five years. * We would not change homes or cars and we would just keep the same game. We would put all the money away that you want to put away without having to up the standard, meaning… two bags, not nine.
Ask Yourself: What are you willing to do in order to be able to put money away?
Communication Challenge:
Have some conversations with your spouse about the game of money: making, growing, keeping, and leveraging money.
Date Night Topic:
If the money were to suddenly stop coming in, how long would you be able to live your current lifestyle without changing anything?
Quote of the Week:
“This podcast isn’t about having all the answers for you but rather a conversation where we’re in a place of figuring shit out as we go.”
-Garrett J. White
“When I’m seventy years old, I want us to be working because we’re passionate about it and we are choosing to – we have a purpose behind it – not to just pay the fucking bills.”
-Danielle K. White
In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White are coming to you from the 38th-floor inside a corner suite of the Four Seasons in Las Vegas where they are celebrating Danielle’s 36th birthday. This week’s conversation is about how the unification of your standards with your spouse builds the ultimate standard, and how you can’t pull that off unless you have actually connected with your own standard.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…COMMUNICATION Point #1: Standards * One of the gifts of being married is that we each come into it with radically different standards for life. We have standards about sexuality, parenting, making money, how we spend our time, etc., based upon our past, how we were raised, and our mindsets. * Danielle: I do have a high standard based upon how I was raised but what I also notice is that I’m an extremely experience-based, detailed person which makes me hold things to a different level or standard than most people.
QUESTION
What are some standards you hold yourself to?
Point #2: Tolerance * We tolerate what our standards are. Where this ends up in collision is inside of marriage due to the different standards of each spouse. * Garrett has a standard of emotional connection, which is leaving people better than when you first meet them, something that comes very natural for him. Danielle, on the other hand, will tolerate almost no communication with other people.
QUESTION
What are some of the differing standards inside your marriage which have been a source for collision?
Point #3: It Takes Two to Tango * Garrett: Without my standards for communication, Danielle would have limited her communication. She never would have launched a podcast in the hair industry, nor would have launched her own salon or training company. * Danielle: I hold the standard of where we live and what we wear. When I push to get nicer things in life, we push more in business. And when we push more in business, it not only affects our family but it also creates multiple job opportunities for multiple families.
QUESTION
What have your differing standards created inside of your world?
Point #4: Own Your Standards * Garrett: We take a stand for each individual to own their identity, where neither one is a doormat or a steamroller but where we both come to terms with who we are. My standards
say we do one thing and Danielle’s standards say we do another.
* As you come to own your standards, it allows you to actually embrace the standards of other people. Together, you create this ultimate standard as a couple. You begin to be more committed to each other, and out of that is birthed something deeper than love, which is respect.
QUESTION
How has owning your individual standards created the ultimate standard inside your marriage?
Point #5: Co-creation * Garrett: The standards across both sides of co-creation have allowed for Danielle and I to build our brands, our businesses, and our family. The unique side about all of this is there are very few powerful couples taking a stand for marriage that works, which requires you to be clear in your standards. * Danielle: I’m realizing that in managing our own empires and managing a marriage – and managing it well – it’s kind of unheard of. We each have huge visions for our brands and we’re proving that it can be done; that we can have those individual standards but also come together to create more as a couple.
QUESTION
What have you been able to co-create as a couple that you most likely never would have on your own?
Communication Challenge:
Where can you push in your relationship to become more together, to grow together, and unite as a couple?
Date Night Topic:
What can you create as a couple by uniting your individual standards?
Quote of the Week:
“The mix of standards between a married couple blend together to create the ultimate cocktail of creation.”
—Garrett J White
“I think we push each other in all the right ways. I think that’s what a relationship is supposed to be: pushing one another to a healthy place.”
—Danielle K White
In this week’s topic of Money, Garrett and Danielle explore the idea that the best return on investment you can make is that of time and experiences with your spouse and children. They share stories and tips on how to pull this off successfully, no matter what circumstances you may currently find yourself in. *This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Feeling Like An ATM or Piece of Ass? * Inside the game of Relationship, money itself is a controlling tool for most men. Men use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. At the end of the day, this seduction loop leaves many men feeling that the only validation they get is when they make the money, leaving them feeling like an ATM machine. * The wife can be feeling like she’s ‘just a piece of ass’ and an unpaid slave. Taking care of the home and the children is a full-time job in and of itself, worth a lot more money than many men are giving their wives permission to spend.
QUESTION
What actions tend to follow when you feel like an ATM or a piece of Ass inside your marriage?
Point #2: Unplug and Let Go * Women understand that men have worked all day yet want them to unplug from work and just be present with the family when they are home. Men feel like their day never ends. They come home from a long day of work and then are expected to be fully present with their wife and children. * Garrett: I want to spend time with you, not the stressed-out version of you that’s worrying about cleaning the fucking house right now. I don’t want a fucking checklist of things to clean. I want to be with you.
QUESTION
What do you do that helps you transition from work to home in becoming present with your spouse and children?
Point #3: What’s Your Story? * Garrett: There are going to be guys with stay-at-home wives up in arms about this, saying, "What?! Let me get this shit straight. I’m going to go pay somebody to come into my home to clean and do the laundry? That’s the woman’s job. She has to do that. That’s why she’s home!" * What if you questioned the story that ‘my wife’s the one that’s supposed to clean and make dinner, and it’s the guy’s job to mow the lawn.’ Who made up these rules anyway?
QUESTION
What stories are you hanging onto about the different roles of men and women that are hindering your ability to grow together?
Point #4: Spend Money to Buy Time * Garrett: One of the ways you can use money as a man inside your home and inside of being together as a couple is to use your money in a way that buys the thing for the family that gives them what actually matters: time. There’s this transition that comes with being willing to spend money to buy time. * Danielle: People get emotionally bogged down over the stupidest shit. No matter what role you play in your family (working mom, stay at home mom, community mom) there are all of these little things that could lift the weight off our shoulders, relieving tension and guilt, and freeing up more time to spend with the family…which is so worth it to me.
QUESTION
Where in your life could you make some little adjustments that would free up more time to spend together as a couple or as a family?
Point #5: Your Family Is An Investment * Garrett: Gentlemen, I’m going to have you consider that the greatest rate of return is to make sure that you stay together as a family. One of the ways to pull this off is to create conditions for your wife to actually have more opportunities. * Garrett started looking at their marriage like a business where Danielle became an asset inside of this business. He was willing to hire people to come into their home to free up time so that the family could do more things together.
QUESTION
How are you investing in our family in terms of dollars, time and experiences?
Communication Challenge:
At the end of the day, if your money doesn’t serve you and your marriage and family, then what is the point in having it?
Date Night Topic:
What are some of the investments you can make regardless of the amount of money you have? How are you going to take some dollars this week to buy some more time for you and your family so that you can have the time and experiences that matter?
Quote of the Week:
“You tell me where you’re going to get a higher rate of return: money in your 401k plan, or money in a babysitter to watch your children while you take your wife out on a date?”
—Garrett J White
“Guilt is the #1 destructive thing. It’s the enemy; it does not serve you. If you find yourself feeling guilty, ask yourself: How can I let go of this guilt? How can I change this story? Find your balance, find out how to let go of the guilt, and more importantly, learn how to create a story that serves you best.”
—Danielle K White
Amidst the recent announcement from the White’s twelve-year-old daughter that she is through with school and no longer wants to attend – with viable and compelling evidence to back up her stance & position – Garrett & Danielle jump into a conversation that explores the idea of schooling vs education as they compare today’s world of accessible technology to the period in which they grew up. Also, be sure to listen to find out how you can become part of next week’s show.
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Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…PARENTING Point #1: PROCRASTINATION * As a procrastinator in High School, Danielle was someone who never turned in her homework and was on the verge of not graduating until she was able to pull off some eleventh-hour shenanigans. “I didn’t care about doing homework. I didn’t see the point of doing it.” * Now, as an adult, Danielle regrets that “I didn’t learn how to learn and instead always found a way around doing the work.” She sees herself as very intuitive but sees Garrett as 100% more book-smart than she is. “He likes to read, he can quote all sorts of things, and he is really smart. I’ve kind of envied that about him.”
QUESTION
What habits and patterns did you have when you were going to school? Did they help or hinder you?
Point #2: AT THEIR FINGERTIPS * The landscape of today’s learning has shifted completely from when Danielle and Garrett attended school. With technology at their fingertips, kids today can learn just about anything, anytime. * Garrett: “At their age, our kids are way fucking smarter than we were. They have more data in their brains; more points of reference. And they have access to shit that we didn’t. From the time Ruby was four or five years old, she has been asking Siri questions about everything!"
QUESTION
What do you see as the pros and cons of how you learned in the past compared to how your kids are learning today?
Point #3: GENIUS DROP-OUTS * Many successful entrepreneurs and creators either dropped out of school or didn’t finish school in the traditional sense. These include the creators of IKEA, APPLE, and Facebook. “Pretty much every major tool you use right now was built by a school dropout.” * Garrett: As I look at what kids study in school, my thought is they might be better off studying Facebook ads, direct-response marketing, and persuasion & influence. When you look inside our families alone, the people with the least amount of education have made the most amount of money.
QUESTION
What has been your experience with this?
Point #4: AN ABUNDANCE OF POSSIBILITIES * Garrett: Imagine if, in the next six years, we spent three hours a day focused on turning our daughter into a weaponized speaker, marketer, and salesperson. And on top of that, she had the traditional reading, writing, and math, with the rest of the day filled with singing, art, playing the piano, and participating in team sports. * Danielle says she doesn’t have any real answers right now but that she does have a lot of questions. “This is a frustrating topic that came up for us on Date Night. I feel like Garrett and I are on both sides of the spectrum. We value learning and we value work, but do we value the traditional ways of school?”
QUESTION
What are your feelings regarding the abundance of possibilities in education available to your child in today’s world?
Point #5: OPENING DOORS * Danielle: As a parent, we wonder if we’re leading our children in the right direction. Does the Universe manifest a path that they should take? Or, are we supposed to assist and open doors for them along the way? * Garrett: Part of our job is to open the doors and let them explore different rooms. While there are plenty of doors they’re going to open themselves, as a parent, you open the door and watch what your child does.
QUESTION
What doors are you opening up for your children? What doors were opened up for you? What have been the results?
Communication Challenge:
Next week’s topic is, “Babies: When do you know it’s time to have a baby? When do you know it’s time to stop having babies?”
If you would like to be part of that conversation or have a question/ comment on this, please send an audio clip to garrett@wakeupwarrior.com. We’ll throw you in the mix and play your audios on the air. Men, we want to hear from you!
Date Night Topic:
On your date this week, have a conversation around the different ways you learn. Are you more of an incessant reader and highlighter, or are prone to listening to podcasts and watching videos? Are you a little bit of each?
Quote of the Week:
“Parker does a great job, not because he’s my son but because of who he is. Did I open the door? Sure!”
–Garrett J White
“Is it personality or path? Is it circumstance or timing? Are we put on this earth and literally ordained to have a certain path? Does everyone have an equal opportunity? I think at some level, everyone is given the opportunity to find it within themselves and that that’s the point of life.”
–Danielle K White
Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about momentum in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. It has taken many years for the White’s to get to a place where they are experiencing momentum in all areas of their life and share with their listening audience through stories and experiences what has brought them to the place where, only a few short years ago, they wondered if they would even make it. *This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode.
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Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Tipping Point * Danielle feels like her business has hit a tipping point, leading her to the conclusion that it’s the small things in life that push people forward. * She questions why so many people are not consistent with those small things that create momentum, knowing they would ultimately lead them to the outcomes they desire.
QUESTION
Where in your world have you experienced the momentum of the tipping point?
Point #2: Marriage Is a Lifestyle * Anything great takes a fucking long time to build. When people see the White’s and their success, they begin wanting that in their marriage and become frustrated when it doesn’t happen on their timetable. * Garrett: The number of years that you were a dumb-ass and caused a lack of momentum or momentum in the wrong or weak direction, is not going to be turned around in two days. The fundamental disciplined habits must be changed and maintained over time.
QUESTION
How can you demonstrate more patience in your marriage?
Point #3: Merry-Go-Round * Marriage is like a Merry-Go-Round: It takes great effort to get it moving at first as you grab on with both hands and push hard. Pretty soon you can give it a little push and it keeps going because momentum has kicked in. * Inside of marriage, many people kill the momentum by quitting before they hit the tipping point. Others experience momentum but take their eyes off the prize, losing the edge and the momentum they have gained.
QUESTION
Where is your relationship within this conversation of the Merry-Go-Round?
Point #4: Gaining Momentum * The fastest way to gain momentum is to start going on dates every single week. Start taking your wife on Date Nights and each day send her notes of love, honor, and appreciation. She’s got to know that these are not going to stop. * Momentum is built inside of your marriage and business when you build up momentum inside of yourself. Garrett and Danielle are at a point where, when they collide, there is so much momentum, certainty, and power within each of them that neither one of them can stop the other.
QUESTION
What can you do to start gaining or increasing momentum in your relationship?
Point #5: Character and Contrast * During sticky phases, you’re doing the work yet are becoming more bitter and angry towards one another. These are the times you must shift your energy. Once you have that momentum, do the little things to maintain that momentum. * Garrett loves the different characters and looks of Danielle from her formal look in Louis Vuitton’s to her ponytail and Lulu pants. Danielle loves Garrett in a suit but finds him especially sexy when he wears a t-shirt and jeans.
QUESTION
What are the different looks of your partner that take your breath away?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about the Flywheel Effect.
Date Night Topic:
What are some things you can do for each other to gain or maintain momentum within your relationship?
Quote of the Week:
“Business and marriage fall apart for the same reason: people let go of momentum OR they don’t have the courage to keep pushing to even get to the point where momentum can begin.”
–Garrett J White
“Sometimes we want to look at our business and marriage separately, but taking some of those business tactics and applying them to marriage isn’t that far off.”
–Danielle K White
What starts out with fireworks and plenty of sparks between co-hosts and elite dual producers, Garrett J and Danielle K White, segues beautifully into the topic of Gratitude which has the power to change everything.
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…COMMUNICATION Point #1: WHAT IS A STACK? * A Stack is a series of questions with five variations (Mega, Angry, Happy, Gratitude, Production) that Garrett originally created three years ago to deal with “my fucking rage.” These questions alter the way you are experiencing different relationships, events, and triggers in your life. * One of the challenges men have is the inability to express emotion and end up suppressing them, which is the way society has taught, trained and educated men to do over the past 100 years. The whole point of the Stack is to allow you to release the energy that you’re feeling, whether you’re fucking raging, angry, triggered, or happy and get someone to their truth.
QUESTION
As a man, what has been your experience with sharing your emotions and feelings?
Point #2: IMPACT * There are five different Stacks which serve different purposes. You’ve got the Mega and Angry Stack which allow you to release your rage & emotions, followed by the Happy and Gratitude Stacks, and then finally the Production Stack. * The Gratitude Stack requires you to deliberately pause and look back and serves as a powerful tool of connection with your spouse and children. As Garrett has shared these with his children as part of the Core 4 game, he has witnessed first-hand the immense impact it has had on them individually and upon their relationship.
QUESTION
How has expressing gratitude for your spouse and children affected your relationship with them?
Point #3: THE GIFT OF GRATITUDE * Danielle shares how expressing gratitude gives you a different perspective: “There are going to be times in your life when you feel like you are in a dark place and it’s hard to snap out of that. You start to see the world through a negative lens.” * “If you take a step back and begin appreciating the good moments, it gives you this sense of gratitude and everything begins to change. It puts life in a different perspective.”
QUESTION
What do you notice when you step back and begin seeing life through the lens of gratitude?
Point #4: INSPIRED * From his Gratitude Stack about Danielle, Garrett received these insights and revelations about their marriage and how he feels about her: “Marital and mutual respect is something that takes a long time to uncover, and once it’s found, it’s priceless and profound.” * “I sit and look at my wife while five months pregnant and am just inspired. I’m inspired by what it is to be pregnant and have your body do what it does with a little person inside of you who is growing. But of all the things that hits home the most is that she can make the baby AND also smash the shit out of life.”
QUESTION
What about your spouse inspires you?
Point #5: FROM THEN TO NOW * Garrett: What makes this pregnancy different from the others is I am grateful for what we’ve become as a couple. In the past, I isolated myself and didn’t know how to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. * Danielle: When you look back to how it was eight years ago with our last pregnancy during scary and uncertain times, things are so different this time. We know we’re in a good place right now with life and with marriage, and we’re excited about the next chapter.
QUESTION
As you step back and look where you’ve been compared to where you are now, what has changed?
Communication Challenge:
Discuss the art of collision and the ability to hold space for your spouse during intense & direct conversations.
Date Night Topic:
Make Gratitude the topic of your next Date Night. Share examples and stories of gratitude with each other. If you have access to the Gratitude Stack, do a Stack on each other and then share it during your date.
*Keep an eye out for the summer release of the Attack With the Stack Series.
Quote of the Week:
“Gratitude is the ability to look back: here’s where we are, here’s where we were, and let’s be grateful for what is.”
—Garrett J White
“When you’re in a space of gratitude, nothing can get you down. Use it as a protective shield for yourself and your family, and to ultimately feel more powerful in life. When I’m in that space, I feel unstoppable.”
—Danielle K White
Welcome to the Date Your Wife podcast. This episode is dedicated to all the men who feel like they don’t have a voice when their wife is pregnant and who don’t know what to do with all of their sexual energy.
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…SEX Point #1: Stay In Your Corner * Garrett: There’s a phase inside of this where you’re super pumped because you’re having a lot of sex but you know the intention is to make a baby. Guys are then thrown into this corner and are put into this little shoebox during pregnancy and during the recovery after pregnancy. * “For basically a year, the woman goes to a place of sacrifice,” Garrett explains, “but a guy goes to a place of sacrifice, too.” (Cue Danielle’s emerging laughing in the background) “This is exactly why guys don’t get a voice on this because the level of mockery is so intense.”
QUESTION
As a guy, how do you deal with this?
Point #2: What to Expect When You’re Expecting…Penis Edition * There are a lot of guys who cheat during pregnancy because they don’t know what to do with all of their sexual energy. There’s no shortage of books and information for women, but practically nothing in place to prepare men for what they’ve just signed up for. * Guys want to have sex but generally don’t approach this topic with their wives. And there’s no blog post, book or podcast addressing this – there’s nothing in place to guide a man through the emotional hurricane of pregnancy.
QUESTION
Guys, what is your experience with this?
Point #3: The Dichotomy * Garrett: When your wife gets pregnant, all of a sudden there’s a rising emotion that comes from the Gods. It’s protecting and nurturing. It’s a feeling of “I will fuck anyone up who comes close to this. Everyone is now a second-class citizen to the spouse with the baby in the belly.” * It completely suppresses the sexual drive between the man and the wife that he is curating and protecting. The challenge is, the sexual energy wants away from that environment and is immediately triggered by just about any female that walks the planet that is not pregnant.
QUESTION
How has this shown up in your marriage during pregnancy?
Point #4: The Penis Power Is a Decision * Many men stop instigating sex during pregnancy because they’re not sure how to deal with the rise of the protecting guardian, the decline of the sexual drive toward their wife, and the triggers outside of their relationship. And some men simply think it’s weird to have sex after their wife is six months pregnant. * Garrett: I’ve chosen to channel my sexual energy, although triggered all over the place, towards my beautiful, gorgeous pregnant wife. It’s a decision, even though you’re under suppression.
QUESTION
As a man, what are your thoughts about this?
Point #5: Society’s Advice * Garrett understands how bitchy and whiny men can come across on this topic, especially when “we’re not the ones who are going to have to push a pumpkin out of our penis after nine months!” * Society tells men, “Listen, asshole, you have no leg to stand on. You’re not the one whose body’s getting jacked and is going to spend twelve to eighteen months in recovery. Shut up pussy and just deal with it.”
QUESTION
What do you think about this?
Communication Challenge:
Have an open conversation around the challenges and the joys that both women and men face during pregnancy. What can you create together to bring more support and understanding to each other?
Date Night Topic:
During Date Night, engage in flirtatious banter you know will lead to a window of opportunity of sexual connection when you arrive home.
Quote of the Week:
“As I look at the ultrasound, I sit back in complete fascination in all of this. It’s so crazy that in a mass effort of about three minutes of participation, this thing happens.”
—Garrett J White
“I want the pregnancy perks but I still want to be treated like me. If you know there’s a window, make a move on me. Pretend like I’m notpregnant.”
—Danielle K White
This week’s Date Your Wife podcast comes to you via the White’s actual Date Night where Garrett and Danielle explore the topics of conflict and avoidance inside their relationship. They reveal patterns and behaviors that did not serve them for years, which could have led to the demise of their marriage were it not for an ultimatum and decision during a huge argument – which ultimately created an opening that changed the trajectory of their marriage. .
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: People Pleaser or Conflict Avoider? * Danielle believes women typically aren’t people pleasers; they’re conflict avoiders. Women are so afraid of confrontation that they always try to make peace. * “But ultimately it’s not because we’re trying to please people,” offers Danielle, “it’s because we’re trying to avoid conflict, which later on actually causes us more harm.”
QUESTION
How does this play out in your marriage?
Point #2: On the Hunt * As Garrett reflects this topic of conflict, he realizes that “Danielle is a conflict avoider at the highest level. If you go through what has happened with us in the past seventeen years, she has NEVER been a conflict person.” * “The only way we could ever have a real conversation was if I brought the collision to her, and then inside of it, I would actually hunt her down and force her to have a serious conversation with me.”
QUESTION
Who is typically the “hunter” inside your marriage?
Point #3: Hot-Headed * When men become hot-headed inside of a conversation, many women refuse to continue on with that conversation, thus making it appear to the men that women are in this place of avoidance. * From Danielle’s perspective, “Women recognize when a conversation/argument isn’t in a logical place and is going nowhere. When Garrett flips his lid, and I feel like I can’t reason with him because the conversation is not in a healthy place, I will refuse to continue, knowing that in this state, nothing is going to get solved.
QUESTION
Who is typically the hot-headed one in your relationship? How does this affect your communication?
Point #4: Initiate or Avoid? * Garrett admits being more emotional than Danielle, and one who is desires to get into a fight and collide. Speaking to Danielle, “You were never an initiator of any type of hard conversation. Your mode was to just swallow it, ignore it, reframe it in your mind, let it go and move on…and pretend like it never happened. * Danielle: I was avoiding confrontation, and was thinking, “Oh, it will go away, it’ll quiet down. I also came to this place where I didn’t know how to have direct conversations with you.
QUESTION
Inside conflict within your marriage, who typically avoids, and who typically initiates?”
Point #5: Therapy * After six years of behaviors and patterns that were not serving the White’s, everything came to a head one afternoon during a huge argument in their kitchen where an ultimatum was issued by Garrett: Either we’re going to therapy, or we’re done. * Danielle: Going to therapy, we both had a logical sounding board to hear one another’s feelings. It helped me open up and communicate better, and I feel like Garrett was able to go deeper into the story or conflict without hitting his tipping point.
QUESTION
What has been your experience inside the conversation of therapy?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation around the topic of “Avoider or Initiator.”
Date Night Topic:
During Date Night, have a conversation about the possibility of inserting Therapy into your lives.
Quote of the Week:
“Therapy gave us a better chance to pull off conflict and be in a conversation that would require both of us to own our shit.”
—Garrett J White
“In relationships, I think we argue to be right, not to get what we want. I think we both realized that there’s submission in getting what we want which makes us less willing to be right and more willing to get what we want.”
—Danielle K White
With shots of tequila in their system and amidst the flirtatious back-and-forth bantering that easily doubles as foreplay, the White’s jump into another episode of the Date Your Wife podcast with a conversation around Garrett’s favorite topic, Sex. For the new listeners, Danielle explains QQP (Quickie, Quickie Pornstar) and they have an honest and revealing discussion about keeping married sex spicy. This is an encore presentation of a previously recorded episode.*
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: If You Don’t Mop the Floors, Somebody Else Will * Danielle: Many women approach sex with a “let’s just get ‘er done” attitude. If guys go long enough with only a simple clean up job, they’re not going to be satisfied. * Garrett: Danielle’s sex game in the last six months has gone through the roof. As a woman, she has literally blown my mind.
QUESTION
Where has mopping the floors in your marriage gotten you?
Point #2: Avoiding the Shithole of Married Sex * Danielle: Sometimes you have to act the part and play the role during sex. Entertain that idea and have fun with it. * Just because you’re laying there with your legs spread open doesn’t mean that’s attractive. When you’re married, if you expect to have that chemistry and spark, play the fucking game.
QUESTION
What is the condition of your sex life? What are the facts?
Point #3: Girls Just Want to Have Fun * Danielle: I’m happy that my man is fulfilled. When you have fun with sex, your man is feeling fulfilled. It’s fun for him and it’s fun for you – it goes both ways. * Pretend you’re dating and ask yourself: How would I act? What would I do? Even after years of marriage, it becomes fun to entertain that thought and go with it.
QUESTION
Ladies, how do you feel about yourself when you just let yourself go and have fun?
Point #4: The Sex Game * Garrett: Many men have this faulty understanding of sex. They want to have a sexual connection with their wife and they think that making money and investing in the children will get them that. * At the end of the day, she wants sexual connection but she also wants something else – she wants attention. If you give that to her, she will support you in the sex game and it will bring your marriage together.
QUESTION
What are you expecting from your wife yet at the same time are neglecting to give her?
Point #5: Patterns * Garrett has this pattern of putting the girls to sleep and engaging in their nighttime routine, while Danielle professes that she’s not a very routined mom: “Brush your own teeth, say your own prayers, tuck yourself in.” * Garrett: There’s a lot of dad-guilt that comes when you work a lot. I do spend time with the girls in the mornings but I find I sometimes use them as an excuse to not have to be intimate with Danielle at night.
QUESTION
What patterns are in need of changing in order for you to make more time with your spouse?
Communication Challenge:
Gentlemen, if you want your floors more than mopped, what are you doing to create the environment for your wife to want to shine your floors?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about patterns that you see in your marriage and what you can begin doing today to change a pattern in one area of your life that will benefit your marriage.
Quote of the Week:
“The moon was out, the doors on our deck were open, and it was “Go Time.”
–Garrett J White
“In a relationship, if you say, “I don’t want to [have sex],” it’s honestly like starting a new workout. Put in the work now and eventually it gets easier. Before you know it, it’s actually kind of fun.”
–Danielle K White
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As a couple-on-the-go, co-hosts Danielle K and Garrett J White, delve into a topic that, at first glance, might appear to be in the oxymoron realm. However, in classic White style, Danielle and Garrett deliver insights and experiences that uncover what might be one of the most important things you will ever do as a married couple: go through your Divine Divorce in order to find your Divine Destiny.
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny * There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again. * Garrett: Although we didn’t get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice.
QUESTION
What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce?
Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person? * The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit. * Garrett: There’s a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it’s actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, “Am I with the wrong person?”
QUESTION
Is what you’re posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy?
Point #3: It’s Just How It Is * Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don’t even know they’re surviving. The belief is, “This is just how it is.” * If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it’s not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you have the belief of “it’s just how it is?”
Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement * The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don’t go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce. * “What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?”
QUESTION
If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married?
Point #5: It's a Choice * Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today. * No matter what state your marriage is in today, there’s another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there’s a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose.
QUESTION
What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage?
Communication Challenge:
How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship.
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other inthe beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship?
Quote of the Week:
“There’s a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it’s the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work.”
—Garrett J White
“People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.”
—Danielle K White
Today’s conversation inside the Date Your Wife podcast centers around the importance of adding people to your team and features two surprise guests who shed some additional light on this subject. It’s never a dull moment with the White’s as they navigate the ever-changing waters of marriage, family, and business, aka The Trifecta of Insanity.
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Money Point #1: Babysitter, Nanny, or Home Manager? * The first addition to team Garrett & Danielle? The important position of a Nanny/Home Manager, whose role is very different from that of a Babysitter. It’s vital to get really clear about the roles, compensation, and expectations of each of these BEFORE you add them to your team. * In a cameo appearance, Bailey, the White’s twelve-year-old, clearly defines the distinction between these roles. “A Nanny/Home Manager is full-time and committed, works a lot, and actually likes the kids. They manage the household, the workers, and run errands for the parents. A Babysitter is like, “I need you to go to bed while I’m watching the Bachelor.”
QUESTION
How would bringing one of these on board change your family’s life?
Point #2: Does Overcompensation Lead to Entitlement? * Whether it’s your place of business or home-related, overcompensating can lead to behaviors and feelings of entitlement, something Danielle and Garrett have first-hand experience with. * Adds Danielle, “If you overcompensate people, it builds a lot of entitlement. They start creating stories in their mind where they can’t see anything else; they start painting you as the bad guy, and collect evidence to back those stories.”
QUESTION
Where have you experienced this as either the one feeling entitled or the one witnessing it?
Point #3: House Cleaner * When adding a House Cleaner to your team, a couple of key things to consider are 1-trust and 2-being comfortable with leaving a mess and not feeling like you have to clean up BEFORE they arrive. * Getting really clear on the role they are going to play is of utmost importance. What do you want them to do? What don’t you want them to do? What do you want your Home Manager to delegate to your House Cleaner? It’s up to you to communicate clear directions in order for everything to run smoothly.
QUESTION
How has having a House Cleaner on board improved your life and/or your relationships?
Point #4: This is a Man’s Job * Danielle grew up with a father who was always hands-on when it came to building, repairing, and handling big and small jobs around the house, something she expected Garrett to automatically take on as the “man of the house” after they were married. However, it didn’t exactly pan out the way she expected. * Garrett decided he would take on the responsibility of caring for their pool to prove to Danielle that he was a “man,” but when his plan went sideways within the week and the pool was filled with moss, it was clear that some things are best left to the professionals.
QUESTION
What do you automatically expect your husband to do because it falls under the category of “that’s just what men do?”
Point #5: Let Go in Order to Grow * Garrett: “As I sit here and look at the unit that has become the idea of family, just like an entrepreneur looks at their business and realizes he cannot do it by himself, that he must let go in order to grow, I’m going to have you consider that inside of your family life it’s no different.” * “As you and your partner become more and more successful inside of the game of business and life, it’s actually selfish for you to continue to play the game so small. In order to play bigger, you’re going to have to involve more team members.”
QUESTION
If you were to look in your world right now, where is the one place in your life where you could bring someone on the team who could free you up so you could actually do the things that matters?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation around this topic: It’s ok to bring people on the team to accelerate your marriage and your family. How do you both feel about this?
Date Night Topic:
Entertain the idea of creating space inside your team for a Babysitter, Nanny, or Home Manager and get really clear about the details, expectations, and compensation. What would that look like for your family? How would that clear up space for more family time, couple time, or alone time?
Quote of the Week:
“You cannot build a family without a team. It’s difficult, if not impossible to build your marriage and family to ultimately become what you want it to be if you’re trying to do it alone.”
—Garrett J White
“To women, let go. Test it out for a couple of months and just what happens. See if it makes an improvement, see what opens up in your relationship with your kids and your spouse. Could you find something else fulfilling to put your time towards?”
—Danielle K White
During their flight back to Orange County after an amazing Valentine’s Day get-away weekend in Cabo San Lucas, the Whites suddenly find themselves headed back to Cabo for an emergency landing. While other passengers are scrambling, angry, and upset, Garrett and Danielle get to work creating new possibilities in the midst of the chaos of their current situation.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Arguing With Reality * Garrett and Danielle watched as men and women became panicked and angry about the flight. Armed with their demands and frustrations, fellow passengers stormed up the escalator to the Alaskan check-in desk scrambling to be the first in line to yell at the girl behind the counter. * Garrett: I spent most of my entire life freaking out about shit that I couldn’t control, trying to force things to be different than they actually were. Although I still do this, it’s significantly less than I’ve ever done it before.
QUESTION
How do you handle the unexpected?
Point #2: The Ocean Always Wins * As you look at reality, it is what it is. During Garrett’s first week of surfing as he was trying to fight the waves, his coach turned to him and said, “The ocean always wins.” * “You cannot control the ocean, you cannot control the water, and you can’t out hustle the waves. The only thing you can do is deal with whatever the ocean is giving you”.
QUESTION
How can you relate this to situations in your life?
Point #3: Change Your State * It’s Danielle’s belief that women tend to cause a lot of unneeded stress in their lives, which not only affects them but ends up spilling over into the lives of their spouse and children. * Danielle: The more you learn how to change your state, the faster you can do it. Ask yourself: What is the lesson? What is the direction I am supposed to be going? When you look at things with that perspective, so many things start to open up for you.
QUESTION
What can you begin doing to change your state of being before things get out of hand?
Point #4: The Crazy Game of Marriage * Garrett: Marriage is crazy. You have two individuals who are evolving human beings; two people who are challenging the way they think, challenging the way they believe, challenging the way they conceive marriage. All of these are constantly moving. * We want things to constantly evolve and change because we demand variety in our lives yet on the flip side, we get completely pissed off about the fact that things are constantly evolving and changing.
QUESTION
What is your experience with this as a couple?
Point #5: Let Go & Be Open * Garrett: I operated most of my life trying to force things. This situation at the Cabo airport would have been something a number of years ago I would have lost my mind over. Now, it’s almost as if the Universe has orchestrated this just for me. * Danielle: Whether it happens on purpose or not, you can’t fight what is so you might as well enjoy where you’re at and see what opens up while being in that space.
QUESTION
Where in your world have you seen a shift as you have begun letting go?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about the things that drive you crazy about each other yet have turned out to be the other’s greatest strengths and assets.
Date Night Topic:
On your Date Night this week, talk about the Crossroads and Turning Points in your relationship.
Quote of the Week:
“What I’ve come to realize is, everything I’ve wanted Danielle to change has become her greatest asset. Her greatest strengths have become the things that drive me fucking nuts.”
—Garrett J White
“There’s a lot of power in letting go. As you let go, it allows you to live life to the fullest. There’s a difference between disconnecting and letting go. In letting go, you’re still there but you’re letting go of the forcing of whatever you’re trying to do.”
—Danielle K White
Welcome to this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast where married business owners, Garrett and Danielle White, have an entertaining and revealing conversation about the “how to’s” of navigating the ever-changing waters of parenthood.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Parenting Point #1: The Trifecta of Insanity * Garrett: You can’t be a married businessman with children if you don’t have children. Dogs, guinea pigs, and fish don’t count. We live in a place where people push their dogs around in fucking strollers. * To be a married businessman with children means that you have a partner that you are committed to AND you have children. This trifecta of insanity is literally a suicide mission with only two possible outcomes: 1- you win and 2- you lose.
QUESTION
How are you and your spouse handling the Trifecta of Insanity?
Point #2: Once a Mom, Always a Mom * Danielle: I don’t think you really have perspective until you actually start having kids. Before having kids, we both worked hard during the week and were pretty much homebodies on the weekends. Looking back, I’m thinking we should have done more. * Danielle’s mother told her that even with all of her children grown, she still worries about them making good decisions. Once you’re a mom, you’re always a mom. “Oh shit! But then, you never want anything different once you are a mom, and you can’t imagine your life without your children.”
QUESTION
How has having children changed your perspective about life?
Point #3: The Love of Learning * Although a college graduate, Garrett’s passion for learning wasn’t ignited until he read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” in 2001 as a PE teacher, opening up an entirely different world to him. “I’m addicted to and obsessed with learning and cannot consume enough!” * It wasn’t until later in life that Danielle would learn the importance of learning. “You have to have a love for learning, and you have to LEARN to learn. Seeing the person I have become through learning, I wish I would have understood that concept when I was younger.”
QUESTION
When were you bit by the learning bug? What was the turning point for you?
Point #4: Consequences & Boundaries * In parenting, where do you draw the line? When do you let your children come to their own conclusions in life after suffering the consequences of their own choices, and when do you hold them accountable to certain standards of behavior? * As Garrett and Danielle met with their daughter, teachers, and principal, it was clear that implementing a system of accountability going forward would greatly assist their daughter in achieving her musical aspirations.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you know it’s time to set up a system of accountability?
Point #5: Just the Facts, Please * Garrett: Your kids are not always right. Most of the time as a parent when you try to defend your kids from the consequences of life, what you’re doing is defending your own ego and your own self-doubt as a parent. * What are the facts? Possibly the greatest gift that you could give your children is to get clear about the facts in front of the other people that matter and involve them in the process of accountability.
QUESTION
Where in your world is it time to separate the facts from your feelings in order to progress and move forward?
Communication Challenge:
What is your take on boundaries, consequences, and accountability when it comes to your children? How does it align with your spouse’s take? How does it differ?
Date Night Topic:
While you’re out on your date this week, have a conversation about how as parents you can instill the love of learning into your children.
Quote of the Week:
“It’s one thing to build a business and have nothing else to worry about except building that business. It’s another thing to build a business and then get married. And then, it’s a whole other conundrum to build a business, get married, have multiple babies, raise those babies, and inside of that, make a decision to have another baby.”
—Garrett J White
“Teach your children the importance of learning. If as an adult you want to get ahead in the game or become an overall better human being, life is about learning. If you can teach your children to love to learn, they’ll have more success in their life.”
—Danielle K White
Welcome to the Date Your Wife podcast, aka the White’s weekly therapy session, coming to you for the first time from their new home studio. In this week’s personal and up close conversation from inside their bedroom, the highlights of this episode include details about Closet Sex, Garrett’s tendency to go to the extreme, the purpose behind this podcast, and business strategies when it comes to dealing with the haters.
This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast comes to you from beautiful Palm Beach, Florida, where the White’s are attending Tony Robbin’s Business Mastery Event. As they huddle in their bed trying to warm up from the ice-box temperatures they’ve been experiencing all day, they share stories about how Tony’s events have impacted and shifted their personal and business lives in major ways.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Hippies & Weird Shit * Personal development hasn’t always been at the top of Danielle’s list of priorities. Up until a few short years ago, she equated it to a bunch of hippies sitting around hugging trees. * “Garrett was actually into some weird shit at different times during our marriage. The few personal development events I DID attend with him left me feeling totally creeped out.”
QUESTION
What experiences have you had with personal development events?
Point #2: Date With Destiny * After viewing Tony Robbin’s “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix in December of 2016, Danielle began having a change of heart towards self-development. Tony’s approach actually made sense to her. “It seemed to be a more logical approach and less weird shit.” * As fate would have it, Tony’s son was attending Warrior Week at about the same time. As if right on cue, the Universe delivered up two tickets to Tony’s next event, Date With Destiny, a mere three weeks away.
QUESTION
Have you or your spouse ever attended Date With Destiny?
Point #3: How Big Can You Dream? * Danielle’s experience at Date With Destiny changed her thinking in a lot of ways. One of the biggest impacts for her was the exercise where they were told to dream big and write down EVERYTHING they wanted. * From this one exercise, Garrett and Danielle ended up making some major decisions in their marriage and businesses which resulted in some huge shifts for them that year.
QUESTION
Where in your world have you experienced a huge shift after hearing or experiencing something?
Point #4: Give Yourself Permission * Garrett and Danielle had to leave their environment over and over again to get to a place where they could ultimately choose a life that was theirs as a couple and as a family. * Garrett: Buying this house, investing in our family, and moving into this home literally shattered an entire box or frame of ideology that surrounded my brain.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you need to give yourself permission do to something that you know would yield big results or big shifts?
Point #5: It’s in the Numbers * The biggest thing that Danielle is getting out of Business Mastery is confirming what she already suspected: she’s got to know her numbers better than she does. * Event speaker Keith Cunningham taught, ”As a business owner, there is no value in a number; the value is knowing what to do about the numbers that you see.”
QUESTION
What does it mean to you to not only know your numbers but to also know what to do about them?
Communication Challenge:
Grab your journals and carve out some time to Dream Big. Talk about and write down EVERYTHING you’d like to do within certain time frames, think way outside the box, and hold nothing back.
Date Night Topic:
Search out events you can attend this year TOGETHER for your individual growth AND for your growth as a couple. Choose one event and put it on your calendar. Make the leap. Your future is worth the investment.
Quote of the Week:
“The trifecta of insanity: choose to be married, choose to have kids, choose to have a business. You do those three things, and you’re either a glutton for punishment, a psychopath, or you want to have the fast train to big fucking results based on the power and the pressure of having to rise.”
—Garrett J White
“It was an “against all odds” situation because of the story we had been telling ourselves. But when we actually put our foot forward and started entertaining the idea, EVERYTHING started to fall into place for us.”
—Danielle K White
Garrett and Danielle are proponents of dating your spouse at least once a week. They understand that adding young children to the mix can sometimes present a challenge but know that your relationship MUST come first if you want it to last. In this week’s episode, the White’s share tips for what has worked for them (as well as what hasn’t worked for them) in their quest to find babysitters and nannies. Where they ultimately hit the jackpot might actually surprise you.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Routines & Consistency * Both Garrett and Danielle feel like this podcast has been so good for their marriage. It’s as if the listening audience has become their sounding board and allows them to be better communicators with each other without completely flipping their lids and going off on each other. * Danielle: In life, once you get out of your routine it’s so easy to lose your momentum. It’s in doing the small things consistently that keep us on track to build the large things; it’s the small and consistent things in marriage that keep a relationship stable and progressing.
QUESTION
What are you doing consistently inside of your relationship that is noticeably making a difference in the way you feel about and communciate with each other?
Point #2: Baby Talk * In the land of pregnancy and babies, when a woman is overdue it is a common understanding that having sex helps induce labor. Danielle’s experience with their two previous babies was that within an hour of having sex, the contractions began. Garrett attributes it to his “very aggressive sperm.” * Danielle’s well thought out plans for the gender reveal went sideways as the waves washed out the pink and blue smoke bombs she had carefully buried in the sand. Garrett accidentally reveals the gender of the baby during the podcast.
QUESTION
Did your gender reveal turn out as planned?
Point #3: Family Affair? * A lot of times, people think they can only trust their family to watch their kids. Danielle has discovered that having someone other than family might actually be better for you and your kids. * From her personal experience, she would rather hire someone to follow her structure and routine instead of having free help from family who want to do their own thing.
QUESTION
What has been your experience with family watching your children?
Point #4: On-Demand Babysitter Gone Awry * Garrett wanted to have an on-demand babysitter who was always available. He paid her a salary and got her an apartment close by their home so they would have someone ready to care for the kids whenever he and Danielle wanted to go out. It evolved into a sense of entitlement and a situation where Danielle was having to dance around the babysitter’s schedule. * Danielle: Finding a babysitter is like building a business. You assume that people you hire will know what to do, but you should never assume. Find someone that you like and then be clear about the outcome you expect while they’re there. Always keep them in check. People want to know how to win whether it’s a nanny or an employee and will start to retreat when they don’t know how to please you.
QUESTION
Have you set clear outcomes and expectations for your babysitters?
Point #5: Care.com: Your Shit is Legit * By far the best decision Garrett & Danielle have made when it comes to finding a babysitter or nanny for their children is going through care.com. Garrett advises, “Request your babysitters driven by a dollar value, and when they turn in their application, make sure they send you a video.” * “You’re investing in the guardianship of your children. If you’re paying a lot of money, set clear outcomes and expectations. If you look at the overall investment on a monthly basis, you’re investing in your marriage. 1-What’s your marriage worth? 2-How much are your children worth?”
QUESTION
Are you being a cheap bastard when it comes to hiring someone to watch your children?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about Date Night, and the challenges you are currently facing that are stopping you from going out consistently with your spouse. Get clear about what you want from your marriage, and what you can do to begin making Date Night a top priority in your marriage.
Date Night Topic:
Have a brainstorming session about the things you and your spouse want to do on your Date Nights for the next couple of months.
Quote of the Week:
“If you care about your marriage and want things to work out, you go on Date Nights. If you care about your communication and sex life, go on Date Nights. To pull that off, you’re going to have to go through some trial and error before you find what works for you.”
—Garrett J White
“Whether it’s family or someone you pay, there are really no excuses when it comes to creating Date Night and space for yourselves as a couple. It becomes a matter of making it a priority.”
—Danielle White
(This is an encore presentation of a previously published episode of the Date Your Wife podcast.) In this week’s episode, Garrett and Danielle discuss the importance of communicating with your spouse. They have not always been on the same page as a couple, and for many years they each wondered if their marriage would survive the incessant fights and battles that had become the status quo and mode of communication in their relationship. Inside of that chaos, they discovered the formula that works for them.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Communication in Marriage is the Glue Between Sex, Money, and Kids * Garrett and Danielle have not always been on the same page as a couple. For many years they each wondered if their marriage would survive the incessant fights and battles that had become the status quo and mode of communication in their relationship. * Danielle learned how to confront and listen to her feelings, communicate, stand up for herself and voice what she was feeling to match Garrett’s strong personality. Garrett struggled with telling the truth and sharing what he was feeling because he felt unsafe in doing so with Danielle.
QUESTION
How do you and your spouse communicate with each other? Does it create a safe zone or a war zone?
Point #2: The Game of Collision * Danielle grew up in a non-communicating and non-hugging family, although she instinctively knew her parents loved her. Garrett’s family was very touchy-feely and were encouraged to speak openly and freely about what they were feeling and thinking. Hugs and ‘I love you’ were the norm. Garrett recalls, “It was a downright hug fest.” * Garrett wanted to share his 42 gallons of feelings with Danielle, but her tiny thimble couldn’t hold that space for him. She wasn’t taught how to communicate and was feeling overwhelmed, which caused her to unknowingly push him away to create breathing space for herself.
QUESTION
What types of communication styles did you and your spouse experience in your families? How has this affected the way you communicate in your marriage?
Point #3: Show Up and Pay Attention * While dating, Danielle and Garrett could talk for hours and hours. After marriage, the filters came off, the grind of daily life set in, and they eventually found themselves drifting into roommate status. There was no connection and no viable communication. His unspoken message that business came first rang out loud and clear to Danielle. * Garrett didn’t spend a lot of time seducing Danielle, nor did he pay attention to the needs of his young bride of 20. He was in the work and grind mode which benefited them, yet in the process, he ignored her. He wanted to feel connected to Danielle through sex, touching, and talking – yet that was a complete turn off to her because of their lack of connection and how he wasn’t showing up for her.
QUESTION
How do you show up for your spouse?
Point #4: What You Focus On, Expands * The loss of their spark, trust, and financial stability, coupled with the demise of their communication, created a very difficult environment for them as a couple. They graduated from not communicating at all to all-out fighting mode in every conversation; they wanted to spend time with other people, rather than with each other. Garrett was receiving emotional fulfillment by having conversations with his female clients and coworkers. * During this time in 2010, while pregnant with their second child, Danielle stopped looking to Garrett as the source of her happiness and breadwinner, and instead began looking within herself with newfound courage to speak freely and to take on life – without him, if necessary – which resulted in the birth of her business. That was also the beginning of the turning point in their marriage.
QUESTION
Where do you put your energy and focus? How is it enhancing or detracting from your relationship?
Point #5: A Threesome Will Help You Keep Your Game On Point * Upon discovering their different Love Languages, Garrett learns he has been giving Danielle what he wants to receive, rather than what she wants and needs. Couples and individual therapy enabled them to get past the triggers and blowing up stage while keeping them inside the fight and conversation. * Garrett shares that therapy and third-party conversations are what saved their marriage. Danielle advises: Be real about your feelings during therapy – even if it means arguing in front of the therapist or spontaneously jumping up and doing burpees and push-ups.
QUESTION
Are you giving your spouse what you want to receive, or are you giving them what theywant and need?
Communication Challenge:
Begin discovering your love languages and take action on giving to your spouse what they want and need.
Date Night Topic:
Engage in the conversation with your spouse about starting therapy together.
Quote of the Week:
“The thing that saves our marriage more than anything, is Date Night. It’s the simplest part of the form of the game in restoring communication, connection, passion, fashion, love, and everything else inside of marriage.”
—Garrett J White
“A lot of time with the love languages, it’s not your love language, but you get to cross that boundary to get your own fucking love language met. I used to say, ‘I don’t want to do this. It’s not me. It’s not how I was raised.’ I learned quickly that if I want my needs met, I have to serve him – and vice-versa.”
—Danielle White
Garrett and Danielle ring in the New Year with news of baby White who is due to join the family in late July. In this first episode of 2019, the White’s have a conversation that is all about babies and children, and how much they change the game in all areas of a couple’s life.
Point #1: New Beginnings * Early last year after announcing their pregnancy to a room of three thousand people, Garrett discovered that Danielle had miscarried their baby, a sad and rough experience for them all. * After a fun-filled summer of adventure, Danielle realized that if she wanted to have another baby it was “now or never.” Even at the young age of 35, she falls into the ill-named category, “Advanced Maternal Age.”
QUESTION
What new beginnings are you currently experiencing?
Point #2: Change Is In the Air * Both Garrett and Danielle agree that no one can really prepare for and comprehend how much a baby and children change your life. * Danielle: Having kids pushes you to do things you didn’t think were possible. It fast-tracks you. It brings out this maturity and responsibility and gives you this sense of purpose.
QUESTION
What changes are you anticipating or experiencing in 2019?
Point #3: The Shift * Garrett: I don’t think a human being can fully grasp the intensity of what it is to be a human being without birthing or raising a human being. It creates a shift. * There are a lot of people who are anti-children. What makes that so ironic is, if someone would have had the same thought process as they’re having, they wouldn’t fucking exist.
QUESTION
What is the shift you have experienced as a result of having children?
Point #4: Legacy * When Garrett turned 40, he started thinking about his children and his legacy in a way that he had never before considered. “Not being married and not having children, there’s no fucking way I’d work this hard.” * Both Garrett and Danielle believe that women are a motivating factor when it comes to men working hard and producing and remember Garrett’s fierce drive for work when they were dating.
QUESTION
How does having a wife and children affect your drive to produce?
Point #5: Mixed Signals * Garrett: When you’re pregnant, there’s some kind of endorphin that releases from you that fucks with the sexual mojo for a man. There’s a shield that blocks my balls. I want to be all over you but I just can’t. * From a woman’s perspective, Danielle understands and appreciates the sensitivity, yet there are times when she doesn’t want to be treated like she is pregnant; she wants instead to experience that sexual energy between them.
QUESTION
How do you handle sexual intimacy during pregnancy?
Communication Challenge:
Begin the conversation of Legacy and what that looks like inside of your relationship.
Date Night Topic:
Date Nights and Get-a-ways: Grab your calendar and begin brainstorming & planning what you want to do together in 2019. Go outside the box and get adventurous!
Quote of the Week:
“It’s almost like your body is sending some sort of signal to me that’s saying, “Thank you, you’re not welcome here.”
—Garrett J White
“Having kids pushes you to do things you didn’t think were possible. It fast-tracks you. It brings out this maturity and responsibility and gives you this sense of purpose.”
—Danielle K White
This week's episode is a special encore presentation of a previously published episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. This week Garrett and Danielle tackle the topic of money as dual producers. Their marriage was on the verge of divorce when Danielle found motivation to take care of herself as a possible single parent, ultimately leading to the success we see today with her salon, DKW Styling, and in her technique known as Natural Beaded Rows.
Point #1: Inside the Pit of Chaos
- During the time they were knocking on the door of divorce, Garrett was reeling from the market crash and had stopped producing. There’s an interesting game that plays out inside of money when the man isn’t producing, and together they were trying to figure it all out. During that transition, it really depolarized them as a couple energetically.
- Danielle realized she could help out financially and began turning her business into something more than a hobby. She wanted to be taken care of and also wanted to have freedom from the guilt of buying nice things for herself, remembering how her mother worked so their family could have nice things beyond their basic needs.
QUESTION
How have you seen your roles altered inside your marriage when financial challenges have arisen?
Point #2: The Fight For the Throne
- There was this huge shift of power that came about because of money. Garrett went from the king of the castle to the servant of the queen who had her feet on both thrones while simultaneously wearing both the King’s crown and the Queen’s crown. This is the reality of production: it’s not just about the topic of money, it’s about the power play of production.
- Many times when a man loses the ability to produce and provide, and loses trust inside of that relationship, the woman is forced to go into masculine mode in order to produce, which creates this whole different dynamic and challenge. Garrett was under assault and fighting for the throne that Danielle was sitting on. Gentlemen, you’re not getting the throne until you prove that you’re actually the man.
QUESTION
Where are you as a couple in this Game of Thrones?
Point #3: From Gucci’s to Steel Toed Dude Shoes
- Danielle felt like she was the man in the relationship. If Garrett was trying to control her she’d tell him “you don’t have a fucking leg to stand on right now.” She was constantly annoyed by him and always trying to pull the rug out from under him which led to a lot of wars.
- When Garrett started becoming more consistent, Danielle felt that the safety net was back and she could start letting up a little on her intensity of the hustle and grind. As she let up on the gas, Garrett began getting in her face to prove he was more powerful. They started to go to war in a different direction which killed their ability to communicate.
QUESTION
How have you experienced this dynamic as a couple?
Point #4: Selective Cheap Bastard Mode
- Danielle: Garrett’s not big on any holiday. Most people look forward to holidays but he doesn’t. My love language is all about the gifts, but his isn’t. He’ll give a bum $40 and yet forget my birthday or won’t do anything for it. I’ve now figured out a little trick that gets me what I want from Garrett.
- Garrett: There will be times when Danielle wants to do something financially and I am thinking “this is ridiculous, there’s no fucking way, I don’t get it.” On the flip side, when it comes to rebuilding a salon, I’ll turn the switch on and Danielle goes into cheap bastard mode saying, “No!” My justification with money is: if it’s an investment, I put the money in.
QUESTION
What are your ‘Cheap Bastard Modes?’ What dynamic does that create in your relationship?
Point #5: The Collision Inside the Money Game
- After eight months of not going to battle, they found themselves in the middle of a war zone recently around the topic of business. This reminded Garrett of a ‘shit show’ they created years back while dining in a quaint little restaurant in Beverly Hills, where they were both losing their minds and Garrett was ready to throw the table across the room.
- Garrett: It comes down to this: People want to feel validated in their desires with money. I want to feel validated inside my world when it comes to what I want financially, and you want to feel validated that your opinion matters when it comes to what you want financially.
QUESTION
Do you battle often as a couple? How much of that is ‘healthy collision’ and how much of it is a down right war zone?
Communication Challenge:
Begin the conversation of validation and what it looks like for each of you inside of your relationship.
Date Night Topic:
What is going to be the next stretch for you two as a couple financially that will pull you two forward? For us, it was our new home. What will it be for you?
Quote of the Week:
The moment I began to see that my family was an investment, I began to see the value in myself even more.”
—Garrett J White
“If you are trying to go to the next level in any area of your life, just take a look at what is possible. A lot of people focus on their current reality and think, “I can’t possibly go there” instead of asking, “What if?” or “I wonder?” We are both entrepreneurs, and I know that moving forward is always an option, regardless of where we currently are.”
—Danielle K White
This is a special encore presentation of a previously published episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. The White’s juggle children, sandwiches and grocery lists in the opening of today’s podcast, demonstrating yet again that they are keeping things real and raw. Between the flirting, bantering, sexual innuendos, and Danielle revealing what she really thinks about penises, it’s no wonder their’s is the only explicitly rated podcast in the category of Parenting and Family, as they are willing to take topics where others are not. Sit back and enjoy today’s conversation on the topic of Sex.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Lazy Sex * Danielle: It’s not like I don’t want to put in the effort, but I don’t always want to put in the effort. On my laziest days I don’t just lay there and do nothing, but there are ways to service your man without getting really into it. * Garrett: Does this mean that women are sexually lazy? Servicing your man is important, regardless of what the servicing looks like. A lot of women don’t get this.
QUESTION
When you have sex, even quickie sex, do you experience connection or is it more like vaginal masturbation?
Point #2: Tips For Traveling * Garrett: When men are traveling, it doesn’t matter for 2 days or 2 weeks, they experience an increased sexual drive. It happens even if it’s just overnight. There is an increased sexual spike of being gone from their wife in which sexual desire increases. When guys are gone for a bunch of days it is very easy for them to end up in the trap of porn. This is a very big issue for guys. * Danielle: If your guy is traveling, I think it’s a good idea to have sex the night before they go. Ladies, just get it done. Little things like that will make your relationship better and when he goes out of town he’s going to be more focused. I learned the hard way. It’s not that big a deal and it’s actually a win-win where we both are getting what we want.
QUESTION
What happens when you follow this formula? What happens when you don’t?
Point #3: Pouty Mode * Garrett went into pouty mode for 10 years because he felt so out of control inside of their relationship when it came to sex. He felt that Danielle held all of the cards and that she didn’t give a shit. * Danielle: I found that pouty mode super unattractive. As Garrett shifted his energy, it gave me room to breathe. He just stopped asking and didn’t bring so much pouty energy to the table. That’s when I started changing my story about Quickies and QQP was born.
QUESTION
What energy is present when pouty mode enters the picture in your relationship?
Point #4: Women Are Like Crockpots * Garrett: You tell me to warm you up first and then worry about myself. What does that look like? You have guys who don’t worry about their wife at all and worry about their own orgasm, then you have guys who are worried about their wife’s orgasm – there’s even a book called, “She Comes First.” * Danielle: I don’t agree with that and I’m going to tell you why from a girl’s perspective. Warm her up first and then worry about yourself. I like to be warmed up, but if I go first, I’m less into you. It’s a song and dance, really. We’re both at the finish line: if I go first and you come right after me, it’s like we cross the finish line together.
QUESTION
What does your dance look like?
Point #5: Hobbies Bring Fulfillment * Garrett got to the point where he began relying on his masturbation toy and started drinking more. He went into a place of suppression, where he literally didn’t give a shit. At Danielle’s suggestion, he took up surfing, which has been an exceptionally good fit for him. * Danielle: I suggested he take up surfing because I felt it would be something that he would enjoy. He comes back happy and full of this great energy, plus it gives me more space. He has a mistress called surfing and I’m fine with that mistress.
QUESTION
What hobbies do you both enjoy that add positive energy and breathing space inside of your relationship?
Communication Challenge:
Talk about the ways you like being serviced by your spouse – and then go experiment.
Date Night Topic:
Begin the conversation around this idea of “Warm her up, worry about you.” What does that look like inside of your marriage?
Quote of the Week:
“When you are both on point together and he goes on a trip, apply the simple strategy of having Date Night and sex the night before you go – whether you’re fighting or angry or not – if you do this, life is going to be better. Your man’s going to go hunt more powerfully, which means that when he’s gone he’s going to be more productive in business; he’s not going to go to porn because he’s going to feel connected to you while he’s gone.”
—Garrett J White
“If it has been awhile since you have seen him and he comes back into town, just get it out of the way. I used to be standoffish and we would end up getting into fights. My advice is just get it off the table and out of the way. It doesn’t have to be a big show, just do it. He will become like putty in your hands.”
—Danielle K White
In this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett get down to the nitty-gritty details of the behaviors, patterns, and stories both men and women exhibit and live in when it comes to the topic of money. The White's speak boldly and honestly about their experiences as a married couple inside the Game of Money - where men are typically driven by sex, and women by security - and share what they did that led them out of the throes of divorce and into a thriving and expanding relationship.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast.... MONEY Point #1: Safety, Security, and Sex * Garrett: We’re discussing the fact that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. But there’s this cross-over game specifically on the topic of money where a woman wants a man to produce, and yet inside of that, one of the challenges that happens is that the woman continues to cut the balls off the man as a Producer. * Danielle: Money creates safety and security for a woman, even if you’re a powerful woman. I’m a very independent person and have always been one to want to take care of myself. Inside of that, I also want to be taken care of. So it’s like this double-edged sword. In the end, we want to be taken care of but we can’t expect to be taken care of we keep fighting for the throne. It’s a balancing game and surrender on both ends.
[mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" Ctxt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote]
How does this ring true in your relationship?
Point #2: No Money, No Trust * Danielle: At one point, Garrett wasn’t producing, so I decided to put on the man hat and figure it out on my own. When everything got stripped from us, I wasn't feeling connected to Garrett. I didn't know if I really wanted to be married, especially since we didn't have any money. It wasn’t like I was trying to cut Garrett's balls off; from a female perspective, I was just trying to survive. "You were the provider, you stripped that, so fuck you, you’ve lost my trust." * Garrett: We’re sitting in this situation where I've built something and then I've lost it. I've also lost the trust of my wife. As I’m climbing out of the Pit to create financial results again, what I didn’t expect to happen was to be tested by the queen over and over and over. I would speak to the possibility of what I was going to go do and then not do it. She didn't respond with something like "Oh hon, you’re amazing." There was no cheerleading, "Hey you got this." Danielle was scorned and had no trust in me.
[mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote]
When trust has been lost in your marriage, how do you both regain it?
Point #3: Preparing for War * Garrett: I struggled with this. I interpreted everything she was saying and doing as "She doesn’t want me, she doesn’t care about me, she doesn’t support me." Add to that, our sex life goes to hell in a hen basket. Not only do I have some blue balls going on, now I have bloody blue balls, and I’m having to protect my balls from being cut off every single day. I didn’t know how to deal with this. * What I didn’t know and understand was that she was actually preparing me to go back to war, to go back outside the wall of the destroyed kingdom to rebuild and repair our lives, to pay the bills, to build us out of scarcity and into abundance, and to create.
[mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote]
Gentlemen, describe how your wife has been preparing you to go back to war.
Point #4: Balls of Steel * Garrett: When I finally mastered the game of being able to go into collision with my wife, particularly in the conversation of money, there was a shift that took place. I got to this point where my balls became as steel. "Woman, go ahead and hack at those balls because all you’ll do is break your knife." At that point, life started to shift and Danielle started to trust. * Danielle: I felt like Garrett was taking back the throne. Part of me was resistant, and a part of me was thinking "it’s about fucking time." When I started to see that happen, I began backing down and decided I was going to stay in my own lane. There were two years where we just stayed in our own lanes; we weren't at war anymore, and the trust was building on both sides.
[mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote]
What does collision look like in your marriage?
Point #5: Daggers and Triggers * Garrett: Gentlemen, stop interpreting your wife’s “criticism” as an attack. Stop the process of making your wife out to be the villain and the monster who is attacking you. You have to find a new decision and a new path that says, “Listen, my wife is not attacking me, my wife is triggering me to grow. * Danielle: A lot of times, I felt like I was throwing daggers at Garrett. I wasn’t trying to trigger him, I wanted him to be the man I knew he could be. But I couldn’t say that, so it became a song and a dance for us to figure out how to communicate with each other.
[mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote]
What does your song and dance look like?
Communication Challenge:
Have a candid conversation around the premise that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. How has this affected your individual behavior as well as your overall relationship?
Date Night Topic:
Gratitude: As you go on your date this week, share three things about your spouse or partner that you are grateful for.
Quote of the Week:
"This has nothing to do with your wife not being a producer. My wife is an ultra producer and out-produces most men I know. Inside of that place, we each have clear roles and responsibilities as a couple which allow us to both experience the growth and the possibility of being a couple. My responsibility is the King, and hers is not that role."
--Garrett J White
"When women ask me how we did this, it’s like they’re wanting a checklist. I tell them to "put a mirror in front of your face and take a good look." It’s the hard shit that women don’t want to face, and it's usually the stuff not on the checklist that’s tucked under the mattress, or under the rug; it’s consistently doing the "little things" in the relationship that make a big difference."
--Danielle K White
In this week’s podcast, Garrett and Danielle are back at it again as they have a conversation about the seduction game and the importance of knowing what your partner needs; otherwise, the sexual victim card gets played.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Seduction and Sex * In the conversation of seduction, Danielle shares how seducing Garrett can be as simple as her walking through the room wearing some cute, lace panties or slowly undressing, whereas seeing Garrett confident and in his element is far more seductive and sexy to her than watching him prance around in a thong. * Doing your business in private vs doing it with the door wide open proves to be a spicy topic. When playing the game, “Things That Guarantee You Will Not Get Laid,” the friend zone, tampons, hairy ass cheeks, and the naggy bitch mode top the list.
QUESTION
What tops your couple’s list of Things That Guarantee You Will Not Get Laid?
Point #2: Tracking and Lacking * Back when their marriage was a shit show, Danielle thought the only reason Garrett was helping out was to get laid, which was actually true. He felt he had earned sex because of all of the things he was doing for her. She noticed the difference in his energy and attitude when they had sex vs when she withheld sex from him. * Garrett found himself in an isolation and desperation game while tracking how much sex they weren’t having. As a man who had been successful in breaking the codes in his businesses, Garrett was trying to figure out how to break his wife’s code, hoping his gifts to her would result in a blow job for him. Danielle was pissed because he was tracking, Garrett was pissed because his sex life was lacking.
QUESTION
In what ways is your relationship similar to their “shit show” years?
Point #3: The Leverage Game * A man tends to leverage money and power to get sex, whereas a woman will leverage sex to get the power she wants. Garrett felt hurt and angry for being rejected sexually, while Danielle continually had her guard up and felt like she was always walking on eggshells. * Garrett’s constant challenge became: When is my wife going to want me? He began strategizing, which backfired and began killing the attraction between them. Danielle was watching from the sidelines and figured he was a ticking time bomb.
QUESTION
How are you playing the Leverage Game in your marriage?
Point #4: Men: Take the Sexual Victim Card Off the Table * Although Danielle and Garrett existed in a space better than war, it wasn’t victory – it was a place where he needed to get laid, and she wanted peace in the house. Sex became awkward. When men become more powerful in business, they also become more sexually charged. * Being completely consumed with the frustration, anger, fear and doubt around this topic of sex, and constantly being rejected, Garrett became a sexual victim. As a married man 100% committed to his wife, until he could stop the war between he and Danielle, he began neutralizing the playing field by handling his needs himself via a sex tool.
QUESTION
What space are you existing in as a couple?
Point #5: Submit and Surrender * While Danielle agreed she was being a bitch about withholding sex, Garrett admits he was being a dick and complete asshole by withholding time and energy from her. He would deliberately set up situations for Danielle to fail so he could feel like he had control. * Garrett remembers the day he submitted to the reality that Danielle needed him to show up and give a shit as a husband and as a lover, even if he wasn’t getting laid. He was going to direct all of his energy towards her and not hold her hostage anymore. He felt that by giving her space, he would show her that he wanted her as a person, beyond her body, and that he was ALL IN.
QUESTION
What are the ways you hold your spouse hostage? What behaviors could you let go of that would be a game changer in your relationship?
Communication Challenge: Talk about and demonstrate the ways you love seducing and being seduced.
Date Night Topic:
Do you use Garrett’s formula of TTF? Or a different formula? Talk about the formulas that work for you in your marriage.
Quote of the Week:
“People would look at us as this attractive couple and I was like fuck that! I’ve got a gddamn frozen ice block barbie in a box goin’ on. I don’t get to touch it – nothing! It’s like a doll that I get to look at. I’m like a dog on a leash that’s held just past where the hamburger is sitting, and I’m not ever getting it. And if I do take a bite, I get beat with a fuckin’ stick.”*
—Garrett J White
“You promote me, you talk about me, you say I’m your Queen, so show me! Come over to my side and show me that what you’re preaching is true. If you believe in me, if you believe in my business, if you believe in my vision, then jump on board with me!”
—Danielle White
Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about the three components necessary in order to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: The Mirror in the Closet * Danielle has a mirror and bench inside her closet which comes in handy for the “get it done” sex. “It’s a good view for us both: He’s got his mirror and I’ve got my shoes,” says Danielle.
Garrett: It’s awesome. Not only is it great sex, but it’s also visual content and stimulus for my mind for days.
QUESTION
How can you spice up your “get it done” sex?
Point #2: Date Your Wife Podcast * Garrett came to Danielle last year at this time and told her they were going to be doing a weekly podcast called Date Your Wife. They are ready to hit their 50th episode which represents at least 25 hours of communication. * Garrett: The podcast was a favorable condition that we created with time, energy, and money, and has proven to be the best therapy of all time for us.
QUESTION
What favorable conditions have you created in order to have better communication with your spouse?
Point #3: Lacking Sex? * If you’re a guy and sex is not happening, it’s a guarantee that what is also not happening is communication – direct, intimate communication which is the ability to communicate and connect. * If you have not invested time, energy, or money to create those conditions, then you also cannot be entitled to the results that come through sex and connection.
QUESTION
Where in your relationship are you investing money and energy, but not time?
Point #4: Date Night * You must create favorable conditions for communication on your dates. If you are always going out with friends and family for your Date Nights, that is not an environment where the two of you are able to have deep, intimate conversation. * Garrett enjoys getting together with other couples about once a month, but anything more than is too much, even if they’re good friends because it turns into Team Girls and Team Guys instead of the one-on-one time together that they are desiring on their dates.
QUESTION
What has been your Date Night pattern?
Point #5: Time, Energy, and Money * If you’re going to create communication, you must be willing to create favorable conditions for communication. You’re going to have to invest time, energy, and money at some level, whatever it is. * Many men will not invest the time and energy, but will invest the money, or will invest the time and energy, but not invest any money. All three components of the Trifecta must be present.
QUESTION
What portion of the Trifecta are you missing?
Communication Challenge:
Figure out how you’re going to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage.
Date Night Topic:
What can you add to your sex life to spice up those times when you have the “let’s get it done” sex?
Quote of the Week:
“You must be willing to invest to create favorable conditions for communication to exist.”
—Garrett J White
“Women look to men for safety and security. In reaching for that safety and security you have to look inward and realize that you are part of creating your own safety and security inside of that relationship.”
—Danielle K White
Garrett channels his inner DJ for this week’s Date Your Wife podcast where he and Danielle talk about some problems they’re facing in the parenting department with their once snuggly-cuddly seventh grader, and also share some of the victories they’re experiencing with Garrett’s nineteen-year-old son.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Cell Phone Game Changer * Cell phones have changed the game for kids, forcing them to grow up much faster and at the same time, they’re NOT growing up. They’ve gotten really good at being able to communicate via text, but they haven’t learned how to commutate face-to-face. * Danielle recalls waiting for boys to call her when she was in Junior High. She was nervous and sweating, hoping she wouldn’t sound like a dork or stutter. Today, it’s a matter of text, erase, edit, and send.
QUESTION
How has communication changed since you were a teen?
Point #2: Bed Time Shenanigans * The bed-time routine at the White household can sometimes look more like a shit show, with their seventh grader going into psycho mode while Garrett takes away her cell phone. * Unbeknownst to Garrett who is in the middle of a yelling match in one room, Danielle is in another other room consoling their seven-year-old who has a pillow over her ears saying, “I hate this part!”
QUESTION
What does your bed time routine look like?
Point #3: Old School Discipline * When their oldest daughter back-talks Danielle, Garrett wonders if her mother would have tolerated that behavior. As a seventh grader, Danielle remembers being backhanded by her mother while they were driving. * As an eighth-grader, Garrett found himself wandering the streets of their new city for four hours after his mom kicked him out of the van for fighting with his siblings. That was before cell phones.
QUESTION
How do your discipline techniques differ from those of your parents?
Point #4: Jump Through the Windows * Danielle: When kids are little, they operate on your agenda; when they turn into teenagers, you operate on their agenda – that’s your window in. In order to gain that connection, I’m constantly looking for my windows. * Garrett: We have some traction in her world. The key is being present with what her issues are and what’s going on in her world. Perhaps we actually do know what we’re doing.
QUESTION
What can you do to be more aware of those little windows of opportunity to connect with your children?
Point #5: Navigating the Parental Waters of Divorce * It was only a couple years ago that Garrett’s nineteen-year-old son wouldn’t talk to him. Today, he is an integral part of the Warrior landscape as he and Garrett forge a new relationship that has recently included bringing Garrett’s ex-wife and her family into the picture. * A family intervention during the Warrior Woman event in the summer of 2018 proved not only healing but life transforming as Garrett and his ex-wife were able to take radical responsibility, let go of stories, and come to a peaceful place, demonstrating that anything is possible.
QUESTION
How are navigating the waters of parental divorce?
Communication Challenge:
Have a discussion about the challenges cell phones have brought into your family.
Date Night Topic:
How can you better support each other in how you parent? Brainstorm different ideas and strategies and choose one or two to begin implementing.
Quote of the Week:
“The emotional fortitude of children isn’t what it used to be. Kids today are growing up intellectually very quickly, with great articulation and communication, but emotionally they’re going backward.”
—Garrett J White
“Because you are so mad and so bitter, and are not dealing with your own shit and your own stories, it is ultimately holding you back.”
—Danielle K White
As highly successful producers, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their business growth, their goals for the upcoming year, and how they are going to simplify the game moving forward.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Cleaning House * Danielle spent a portion of the year stepping outside of her business, watching it explode in growth, but at the same time, she realizes she may have stepped out a little too far. * The goal of 2019 inside of Wake Up Warrior is to unify the men, tighten up the game, and simplify it.
QUESTION
What areas of your life can you tighten up as we head into 2019?
Point #2: The Money Game * During the early years of their marriage, Danielle and Garrett were both working; Garrett was paying the bills and Danielle was stockpiling money. * While Danielle’s father paid the bills, her mother paid for their lifestyle. Garrett’s parents had the agreement that his mom would stay home with the kids, which she wanted to do, and his father would pay the bills.
QUESTION
What role did your parents play in the money game when you were growing up? What role do you play?
Point #3: Mommy Guilt * Many women wonder how they can work because it will take time away from their kids. It’s Danielle’s belief that working makes women less crazy. * Danielle: If you feel like you want to pursue those passions and talents of yours, do it. It’s my belief that it makes you a different and better person.
QUESTION
As a wife and mother, what would be possible for your life if you began pursuing some of your passions and talents outside of the home?
Point #4: Different AND Equal * Back in the day, the economic engine of life was the home where both the man andthe woman were producers. Upon the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, a rift took place within the fabric of the home. * The trend that Garrett sees happening inside of this conversation of money is that women are seeing themselves as a vital piece of the production game, and at the same time, they don’t want to do it alone.
QUESTION
How do you view your roles as producers?
Point #5: Power and Stress * A lot of men begin to feel inadequate if their wives are working; it’s very frightening for them. They are weak men who get threatened by their wives having any kind of power. * Garrett’s goal and target is to always make 10x more than Danielle. Danielle: Garrett deserves to make ten times the amount I do because I’m not willing to take on that stress.
QUESTION
As a man, how are your feelings of inadequacy affecting your relationship with your wife?
Communication Challenge:
Have a discussion about your current roles inside of your marriage. What would you like to change as you move into 2019?
Date Night Topic:
What are your passions and desires as a couple? What would you like to do together in 2019? Get out your calendars and start making plans.
Quote of the Week:
“If a woman controls sex AND money, it leaves a guy in a very interesting place. He has to be very confident and certain as a man.”
—Garrett J White
“Maybe I could have been the best damn version of me had I not worked, but In my experience, me working has made our relationship better.”
—Danielle K White
The White’s have a conversation about their nine-day sex drought.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Drought * After experiencing a miscarriage earlier this year, Danielle wondered if she and Garrett had lost the fun in their sex life, even though they were both enjoying the ‘let’s-try-for-another-baby’ sex * The time change, an increased workload, massive changes within their businesses, and Garrett turning Danielle down for the first time in their 17 year marriage, have all led to their current drought.
QUESTION
What is contributing to the droughts you’re experiencing?
Point #2: One For The Team * When it’s been a while, Garrett tends to go into this retreat mode where he doesn’t even try to initiate sex with Danielle. * Garrett: When we experienced a drought in the past, I would begin thinking I was in the wrong relationship. Now, I just torch the shit out of people in business.
QUESTION
Where do you place your energy when you’re in a drought?
Point #3: The Slip and Drift * Garrett: If we’re three days into having sex twice a day on vacation, I’m that guy who could use a couple of days of rest. * When they’re experiencing a drought, Danielle begins to lose that attraction factor, and both she and Garrett begin to feel that loss of attraction.
QUESTION
What actions do you take to get back that attraction factor?
Point #4: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix * Garrett played a video during the show called The Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix. You have your crazy axis and your hot axis. Hot is measured from 0 to 10, and Crazy is measured from 4 to 10. * You’ve got your No-Go Zone, your Fun Zone, your Date Zone, your Wife Zone, and your Unicorn Zone. Garrett: Danielle’s a Unicorn: 4 Crazy and 14 Hot.
QUESTION
Where is your spouse inside this matrix?
Point #5: Just F***ing Do It! * At about seven days into a drought, most men begin to unplug from their wife. The best thing a couple could do at this point is to just have sex; just fucking do it. * During the podcast, Garrett and Danielle venture into a little sex talk foreplay with both committing to ending the drought after the show.
QUESTION
Where is your favorite place to end the drought?
Communication Challenge:
What would be possible for your relationship if you were to have a plan in place the next time a drought crops up out of seemingly nowhere?
Date Night Topic:
Have some fun with this: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix
Quote of the Week:
“When I turned you down for the first time in seventeen years and said I’m too tired, I think that hurt you, yet I’ve heard the same thing from you four thousand times!”
—Garrett J White
“When I feel a drift, that’s usually when I bring out the morning sex weapon. Recognize the drift and correct it, otherwise, no relationship will work out.”
—Danielle K White
In this week’s Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their conflicting parenting strategies – as well as possible solutions – as they reveal real-life challenges.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Permission to Pursue Your Passion * Danielle: I was raised as a Mormon where I felt like I had to be this perfect mom. If I work, I better figure out how to balance it all. As a result, there has been a lot of mommy guilt as I’ve tried to create a balance between all of the hats I’m wearing. One day the Voice said to me, “You will impact way more people if you pursue this passion [hair].” I’ve discovered that by pursuing my passion, I ultimately affect my children. * Garrett: There tends to be a war within women – women who produce and work outside the home, and women who work only inside the home. Both of these sides tend to throw stones at each other. At the end of the day, it’s not about whether you produce outside or inside of the home. At some level as a woman, you have to give yourself permission to pursue a passion or purpose beyond your children.
QUESTION
As a couple, how do you feel about your wife pursuing her passions in addition to raising a family?
Point #2: If-Then Scenario * When asked by Garrett if she believes that producing outside the home makes her a better mom, Daniellereplied: I don’t know. I know I’m a better me, but sometimes I feel like a shitty mom. There are moments as a kid that mold us. As much as I feel like I’m fucking up, hopefully, I have enough of those moments of me leading and guiding other women or of just being me where they’re going to say “I want to be like my mom.” * Garrett: She would only be giving a quarter of who she is to her children if she wasn’t working. They would never see a woman taking a stand for her life. I know she’s a better mother because she’s a better producer. But this doesn’t mean that every single woman listening to this must launch a business to be a better mom. At the end of the day, the key phrase is, as you are becoming better as a woman, then the relationship you have as a parent ultimately expands by default.
QUESTION
Do you believe you’re a better mom because you do or because you do not work outside of the home?
Point #3: Conflicting Parenting Strategies * Garrett: You and I are very different people. As a result, we have very different parenting strategies. When there’s a problem with our kids, I collide and conflict with them, while you pretend it’s not there. Your parenting strategy is to literally ignore and hold out and wait for the storm to pass. Your game is: The tsunami is coming, get to high ground. * Danielle: When you get mad and yell at our girls, my thought is, “Garrett, they’re girls. Don’t yell at them like that!” When the girls are crazy emotional, I ignore them. When I’m pissed, my thoughts are: Just get out of my way, just let me be pissed. As girls, we tend to have more of an emotional side. So when I see that the girls have flipped their lid – and I can’t get reel them back in no matter what I say – I know I need to give them space.
QUESTION
What are your parenting stratetgies?
Point #4: Assasin Attack vs Retreat to Higher Ground * Garrett: I have a different strategy: I don’t ignore it. When the tsunami comes, I run down like Spartan 300 to hell’s gate against a million people and I wage war on the ensuing enemy. I can see the same crazy spot where the storm cannot be negotiated with, but the difference is, I come in like an assassin in the night and grab the situation by the horns. * Danielle is uncomfortable with conflict, while Garrett is uncomfortable with sitting and allowing the storm to brew. “Danielle’s picture of parenting is us running to high ground. I see that and I pee on it. My parenting plan is my wife’s got war paint on her face, she’s wielding a sword and a shield, and I’m yelling, “Woman, we’re going to the front line!” I start running and when I look back, she’s squatting and peeing on my parenting plan.”
QUESTION
How are you relating to Danielle’s and Garrett’s differences in parenting strategies?
Point #5: Walk and Talk * Garrett: If the challenge is my daughter is a lot like me, here’s the reality: If I had to get out of bed and then 15 minutes later had to be at school or work or anywhere, I’d be fucking crazy too. Last night, I asked my daughter to go for a walk. We held hands, we talked about how dad is crazy in the morning, and how I noticed she’s also experiencing a lot of crazy in the morning. * We’ve implemented The Walk and Talk with our daughter, and I’ve also brought it to the Warrior brotherhood: You go for a 30-minute walk with your child, you hold hands, and just let them talk. The whole focus is to let them get their feelings out, to validate those feelings, and to throw yourself under the bus, thus giving your child the chance to be ok with being human.
QUESTION
Do you have a child where investing in a daily Walk and Talk would make a world of difference for them?
Communication Challenge:
What are your parenting strategies? If they are causing collision and confusion in your relationship and in your family, how you can unite them?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation centered around your wife pursuing her passions beyond that of a being a wife and a mother.
Quote of the Week:
“For the guys out there, if I am a leader in my home, then this means I must also take the lead as a man on the parenting side, which means I’ve also got to take a stand for their greatness and in their weakness.”
—Garrett J White
“I’m kind of an introvert, yet I believe if you find something you’re passionate about, you can outgrow the person you think you are. For me, getting outside of my comfort zone is a new high that fuels me.”
Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about momentum in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. It has taken many years for the White’s to get to a place where they are experiencing momentum in all areas of their life and share with their listening audience through stories and experiences what has brought them to the place where, only a few short years ago, they wondered if they would even make it.
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Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Tipping Point * Danielle feels like her business has hit a tipping point, leading her to the conclusion that it’s the small things in life that push people forward. * She questions why so many people are not consistent with those small things that create momentum, knowing they would ultimately lead them to the outcomes they desire.
QUESTION
Where in your world have you experienced the momentum of the tipping point?
Point #2: Marriage Is a Lifestyle * Anything great takes a fucking long time to build. When people see the White’s and their success, they begin wanting that in their marriage and become frustrated when it doesn’t happen on their timetable. * Garrett: The number of years that you were a dumb-ass and caused a lack of momentum or momentum in the wrong or weak direction, is not going to be turned around in two days. The fundamental disciplined habits must be changed and maintained over time.
QUESTION
How can you demonstrate more patience in your marriage?
Point #3: Merry-Go-Round * Marriage is like a Merry-Go-Round: It takes great effort to get it moving at first as you grab on with both hands and push hard. Pretty soon you can give it a little push and it keeps going because momentum has kicked in. * Inside of marriage, many people kill the momentum by quitting before they hit the tipping point. Others experience momentum but take their eyes off the prize, losing the edge and the momentum they have gained.
QUESTION
Where is your relationship within this conversation of the Merry-Go-Round?
Point #4: Gaining Momentum * The fastest way to gain momentum is to start going on dates every single week. Start taking your wife on Date Nights and each day send her notes of love, honor, and appreciation. She’s got to know that these are not going to stop. * Momentum is built inside of your marriage and business when you build up momentum inside of yourself. Garrett and Danielle are at a point where, when they collide, there is so much momentum, certainty, and power within each of them that neither one of them can stop the other.
QUESTION
What can you do to start gaining or increasing momentum in your relationship?
Point #5: Character and Contrast * During sticky phases, you’re doing the work yet are becoming more bitter and angry towards one another. These are the times you must shift your energy. Once you have that momentum, do the little things to maintain that momentum. * Garrett loves the different characters and looks of Danielle from her formal look in Louis Vuitton’s to her ponytail and Lulu pants. Danielle loves Garrett in a suit but finds him especially sexy when he wears a t-shirt and jeans.
QUESTION
What are the different looks of your partner that take your breath away?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about the Flywheel Effect.
Date Night Topic:
What are some things you can do for each other to gain or maintain momentum within your relationship?
Quote of the Week:
“Business and marriage fall apart for the same reason: people let go of momentum OR they don’t have the courage to keep pushing to even get to the point where momentum can begin.”
–Garrett J White
“Sometimes we want to look at our business and marriage separately, but taking some of those business tactics and applying them to marriage isn’t that far off.”
–Danielle K White
Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man.
To begin your journey in living the Warrior’s Way, click on these sites: warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett explore their Dark side, and share how embracing both the Dark and the Light has given them the freedom to find harmony inside of their relationship, within themselves, and with humanity.
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Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast… Point #1: Jekyll and Hyde * Danielle: Everyone is raised to put themselves in a box. As you get comfortable with yourself, you own EVERY side of yourself, including the crazy, but you learn how to manifest the crazy in a productive way. * Garrett: Most people cannot accept that there are literally two sides to them. I spent most of my life putting who I was, away: my desires, the anger, the rage, the fire, the questions, the sexual desire.
QUESTION
What is it about you that you are you hiding in a box?
Point #2: Super Power * Danielle: I can’t operate as Susan all of the time, so it’s literally learning how to cohesively live together with your multiple personalities. It’s learning how to be cool with yourself and tapping into this dark, crazy side of you, looking at it as your Superpower. Ex: I gotta handle some shit in business, so Dark Susan’s coming out. I gotta be a wife and a lover, so Danielle’s coming out. * Garrett: Relationship is the ability for a person to be able to be ALL of themselves in a relationship. My mission for myself and for Danielle was to be able to figure out how to be ALL of ourselves. There’s Dark Susan sex, and there’s Danielle sex – totally different sex, both are amazing. As we become more adaptable to ourselves, I think our relationship blows up in a big, beautiful way.
QUESTION
How do you handle ALL of you? How do you use the different parts of you to your advantage?
Point #3: Critical Bitch * Garrett: Danielle has an aspect to her that I deeply love now but that I hated and loathed for most of our marriage, until the last four to five years. This side is what I considered to be Critical Bitch. Whatever was going on, there was always this chipping away, and for most of our relationship I thought, “Fucking crazy woman.” * Anything to do with Danielle’s dark side was viewed as wrong, broken, over-thinking. What I had viewed as critical, all of a sudden become powerful. She had the ability to see things clearly amidst the chaos, and not be sucked in by emotion.
QUESTION
What have you previously viewed as wrong or broken in your spouse, but now view as powerful?
Point #4: Embrace the Dark AND the Light * Garrett: When you start accepting that this is true inside of you – the Diabolical AND the Divine – when you accept that this is true about you, when you come to terms with and embrace and love both sides of you, you start to love and appreciate humanity and people around you at a level you never could before because you’re not fucking hiding anymore. * Inside Wake Up Warrior, Warrior Woman, and Big Money Stylist, we lead individuals on this path that accepts the true power of who you are on both extremes: in the Dark AND in the Light, in the Night AND in the Light, so they can ultimately gain the purest sight of being able to see truth.
QUESTION
What part of you are you suppressing and not embracing?
Point #5: Submission vs Sedation * Danielle: How do I get to the end result I’m looking for in a particular situation? What are the steps required? It always requires submission at some level. Ultimately, I’m happier and get what I want. That overall feeling is better than retreating and closing down. Sedation can be a sneaky little bastard, and it can come in many forms. * Garrett: Most couples don’t want to submit, so they sedate. They go to whatever they need to in order to avoid having to collide: they eat, drink, pop pills, ignore, delve into fitness. People go to religion to justify the shitty relationship they’re in; that somehow it will be magical when they die.
QUESTION
Where inside of your relationship are you sedating to avoid collision?
Communication Challenge:
How has your upbringing affected your ability to embrace both the Darkness and the Light within you?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about your particular Crazy. What is the name of your Dark side?
Quote of the Week:
“Individually, if you do not come to terms with the fact that you have a brilliant side that is filled with light, AND you have a brilliant side that is filled with Night, that your Crazy offsets your Creator, and that your Creator cannot exist without your Crazy; until you can come to terms with yourself on this, you will never find harmony long-term in a relationship with any other person, specifically with your wife.”
–Garrett J White
“I think people sedate their blessing. They think their blessing is their curse, so they sedate the thing that can actually give them power. What if you looked at these things as a blessing and not a curse? What if you used these to learn how to navigate through life instead of sedating what God gave you as ‘different?’ What if you learned how to use it to your benefit?”
–Danielle K White
Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man.
To begin your journey in living the Warrior’s Way, click on these sites: warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
This week’s episode is from the recent Warrior Wealth for Women event in Dana Point, California, where Garrett and Danielle trained over 300 women in the art of making, keeping, and growing money.
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Greedy Bitch? * Many people sacrifice everything for their business and end up broken and run down. A lot of people think that money doesn’t matter, or the if they do say it matters, they’re looked upon as a greedy bitch. * You can only sacrifice so much before there’s nothing left. Heart and sacrifice don’t pay the bills, and no one is coming to save you.
QUESTION
Where in your world are you sacrificing and have nothing left?
Point #2: Doormat Dora * When you surround yourself with people and clients who don’t value you, who don’t value your service, and who don’t value your time, you end up feeling like a doormat. * When you begin finding value in yourself, things begin to shift, and you start making new choices that align with the new level of value you see in yourself.
QUESTION
As you take a look inside your life, who are you surrounding yourself with?
Point #3: Magic in the Moments * There is a voice inside of you that will guide you through the war with yourself. God happens to be the closest spectator to spar with, to make you strong enough to go to war with you. * Look into the moments that occur, the moments that shift things forever, where the voice says, “Consider this.” Listen for the moments where truth is laid out for you exactly how you need to hear it.
QUESTION
What magic moments are you hearing right now?
Point #4: Value the Shit Out of Yourself * When your calling, vision, and purpose are clear, you can become rest-less as you have this relentless yearning to run towards your goals. * As we prune and purge our lives, and begin valuing the shit out of ourselves, the clients and friendships we lose are the shit we are cleaning out of our systems and lives.
QUESTION
Where in your world do you need to do some house cleaning in order to create some space?
Point #5: Who Must I Become? * If you’re raising the bar for yourself, can you honestly say you’re giving the best possible experience that you know how to give? * Every day, you must kill yourself and become the next new version you, one step at a time. A new purpose must burn inside your heart; you hunt the money to find the next version of yourself.
QUESTION
What is the vision you have for yourself?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation around this idea of Magic in the Moments.
Date Night Topic:
What vision do you have for you as a couple inside this topic of Money?
Quote of the Week:
“Consider the purpose of your life is expansion; that money, marriage, and children are the trifecta of expansion.”
–Garrett J White
“You have to be able to produce in order to find the next version of yourself.”
–Danielle K White
Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man.
warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
On the heels of a fabulous weekend getaway to New York City, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about the importance of taking time away from their children and their day-to-day responsibilities, and reconnecting with each other as a couple on a deeper level.
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: Weekend Getaways * At least four times a year, Garrett and Danielle take long weekend trips to reset their relationship. * Before Garrett began committing to these getaways, he was unable to see the ROI in them. For ten years, he had a difficult time reconciling spending money on any types of vacations.
QUESTION
When was the last time you and your spouse went on a weekend getaway?
Point #2: Refresh and Unplug * In the Strategic Coach program, Dan Sullivan created the Entrepreneur Time System. Inside of that, you have Focus Days, Buffer Days, and Free Days. * When you go on weekend getaways, there are a couple of things that have to happen: 1- you must be able to refresh, and 2- you must be able to unplug.
QUESTION
What do you and your spouse do in order to come away refreshed from these getaways?
Point #3: Can’t vs Can * You’ll always find something that can get in the way of taking time away from the kids in order to be with each other; you don’t have time, the conditions aren’t right, it’s either all or nothing. * A lot of times, we focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can do. If your marriage is in a rough place, it’s even easier to justify why you can’t do something.
QUESTION
What excuses can you clear away in order to make room for weekend vacations with your spouse?
Point #4: Sexual Distance * When Danielle feels like they’re in a weird place, she thinks back to the time when they were dating. “What were the behaviors I was doing that I don’t do anymore?” * Garrett: If you have some distance sexually, it’s very easy to get stuck in a routine where you start going through these phases: anticipation, desperation, fuck you, and apathy.
QUESTION
What are some things you did when you were dating that you’re no longer doing?
Point #5: Primal Connection * If you don’t get space away from your current environment, you can’t return to the primal nature that actually connected you in the beginning. If * you’re not connecting regularly, you end up inside of a stale relationship where you’re simply partners in the game, sans the lust and the primal connection.
QUESTION
What are you doing to retain and ignite the primal connection you felt when you first met and dated your spouse?
Communication Challenge:
Take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about the things you loved doing together when you first met and while you were dating.
Date Night Topic:
Get your calendars out and plan your weekend getaways for the next 12 months.
Quote of the Week:
“I’m constantly creating opportunities inside of our relationship to have space away with Danielle.”
–Garrett J White
“Let’s hit the reset button before it gets too far into the fuck you mode.”
–Danielle K White
Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man.
warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
Married co-hosts of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle K and Garrett J White, share their experiences with you each week as they do their best to navigate their way through this life. This week, the topic of conversation is Communication.
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Some Like it Hot * Danielle attributes her direct communication to the fact that she’s a Taurus. “They’re actually sweet people, but if you set them off, you better get out of the fucking way.” * In marriage, she believes you have to use tact when you communicate with your partner. She usually runs questionable things through the ‘dating filter’ before she sends them to Garrett: “If we were dating, would I say this?”
QUESTION
How often do you find yourself running your communication through filters?
Point #2: Don’t Poke the Bear * Garret: Once Danielle is face down in the pillow, and the dog is curled up at her feet, I am now encroaching into the evil lair of insanity. I go about my evening routine knowing that Danielle is in comatose mode. * Danielle: Do you want to make love to your whiteboards, or do you want to make love to me? Just give me a little squeeze. If I respond, you’re in luck; if I say nothing, you’re shit out of luck.
QUESTION
What non-verbal signals and signs do you give to each other?
Point #3: Feeling Wanted * Garrett: There was a time I was unable to acknowledge to myself nor have a conversation with Danielle about the fact that sex was important to me. I was always indirect and hoping things would work out instead of directionally speaking to them. It was the same with my businesses. * Danielle: I started to understand that in order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted. Girls like and want sex, but I think it’s more of being wanted, and having that attention and validation that my man is into me.
QUESTION
How do you make sure your partner feels wanted by you?
Point #4: Direct Communication * Garrett: Part of the conversation in our home is that we talk directly with each other, as well as in front of our children. Our kids have very strong opinions about things, and they use very powerful language. * I used to steer clear of direct communication in our marriage, particularly on the topic of sex, because I just did not know how to get over my story of feeling rejected and my pain of feeling so.
QUESTION
In what areas of your life do you have a challenge with direct communication?
Point #5: Running Man * Garrett: I had given myself permission for a very long time to allow our relationship to be on eggshells, mostly because I literally couldn’t commit to much and I was always in a place where I was ready to bail. * About two years ago, a shift took place inside of Garrett causing the back door to completely disappear. Danielle noticed huge results after Garrett finally gave himself permission to commit and go all in.
QUESTION
What level of commitment do you have inside your marriage?
Communication Challenge:
Inside your relationship, where are you avoiding direct conversations? How is this impacting .your marriage?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about this topic: “In order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted.”
Quote of the Week:
“Commitment itself is the bridge or gateway to actual direct communication. If you’re not committed to your marriage, or to the person you’re married to, direct communication cannot happen.”
–Garrett J White
“As we set our relationship up for success, it impacts so many other areas of our life, including the example we set for our children.”
–Danielle K White
Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man.
warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
The conversation of Parenting is the theme of this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, where the Whites discuss accountability, checklists, belief systems, unsolicited advice, and loving your kids no matter what.
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Parenting Point #1: Morning Chaos * Garrett describes their eleven-year-old daughter as a morning psychopath. She sets her alarm to go off up to nine times every morning just so she can wake up and get out of bed. * Their seven-year-old daughter is very much into routines. It’s almost as if she goes into auto-pilot in the morning and is good to go as long as everything is set up perfectly for her in advance.
QUESTION
How are your children similar? How are they different?
Point #2: Unsolicited Advice * Garrett is very committed as a parent to teaching the ‘right’ thing to his children. He’s had people reach out to him offering unsolicited advice about their parenting styles. * Danielle: Everybody is super judgy about parenting styles, and at some level, every parent feels like they have fucked up their kids.
QUESTION
How do you handle unsolicited advice when it comes your way?
Point #3: I Love You No Matter What * If Danielle had to choose only one thing to teach their children, it would be accountability coupled with love. “If you could embed accountability and love into a kid, I think that would solve the world’s problems.” * Years ago, Garrett began telling his daughters, “I love you, no matter what.” No matter what they do or say, he told them he will always love them.
QUESTION
If, as a parent, you could only teach your children one thing, what would that be?
Point #4: Boxes and Checklists * Just like in education, there’s a box that people try to put their kids into of ‘this is what it looks like to be successful.” And anything that doesn’t fit inside that box, they consider inaccurate or not right. * For most parents, they’re always trying to get it “right” with their children, so they always feel guilty. And because they never get it ‘right’ based on a checklist that never ends, they don’t focus on the actual belief systems they want to instill in their children.
QUESTION
How are you keeping your children inside a box?
Point #5: Core Beliefs * Garrett: You can teach your kids all kinds of tactics, but what are the important mindsets and skillsets that you ‘should’ teach your children? There are plenty of people who know how to do the dishes, yet are unable to produce in life. * I’m convinced that what people actually learn as children and what they take into their adult life is driven by the values and beliefs their parents instill in them, both by what they say and by what they watch their parents do.
QUESTION
What are the core beliefs that you are brainwashing your kids to believe that are empowering them as people?
Communication Challenge:
What are the actual belief systems that matter to you, and that you are instilling in your children? What are the beliefs about themselves and the world that you are consciously depositing into them?
Date Night Topic:
On your next Date Night, have a conversation about how you want your children to remember your interaction and love connection as a couple.
Quote of the Week:
“I was blown away when I got married at how horrifically unprepared I was to be a married man.”
–Garrett J White
“She’s not mine to manipulate and control; I’m there to guide her, lead her, show up, and do the best I can as a parent.”
–Danielle K White
Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man.
warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
The topic of money is this week’s conversation inside of the Date Your Wife podcast. The unique dynamics inside of a married relationship create a very difficult game for many couples when it comes to the sticky topic of money.
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Catch-22 * Back in the day, Danielle hated Garrett because he was working so much. But she didn’t hate the business because that’s what was paying the bills. “I got to this place where I felt Garrett loved the business more than he loved me.” * Garrett: Men can control what happens in business more than they can control what happens at home. It’s easier to be the King in business than it is to be the King at home.
QUESTION
Gentlemen, have you lost your crown? What are you going to do to get it back?
Point #2: Split in Two * Many women who out-produce their husbands are in this space of: How do I deal with my husband who is not being the man? I’m dominating him in business and trying to decide if I should get a divorce. * Garrett: When a man allows his wife to split the bills, it splits his power and creates a bit of submission in a weird way. Men, at the primal level, must be okay with the stewardship and responsibility of “I must pay the bills independent of my wife.”
QUESTION
How do you as a couple feel about this?
Point #3: Wake-Up Call * At one point in their marriage, Danielle hid how much money she was making. She split up her bank accounts to create a safety net for herself because she wasn’t sure if their marriage was going to work out. * When she got triggered about something, she revealed to Garrett that she had made $30k the previous month which served as a wake-up call in the form of a big two by four straight into his balls.
QUESTION
Ladies, why do you hide your money from your husband?
Point #4: Show Me the Money, Honey * There’s an artist inside Danielle’s Big Money Stylist network who is outproducing her husband in a massive way. “I love my husband and I want to be more sexual, but I’m just not attracted to him.” * Garrett: This is a sticky situation, and there’s not a simple one-cut solution. When Danielle was making more money, her tolerance of behavior by me went down, and her desire to connect with me sexually also went down.
QUESTION
How is this dynamic affecting your marriage?
Point #5: Friday Night Fights * A recent fight between Danielle and Garrett would have been the end of their marriage a few years ago. But this time it compelled them and opened them up. * Danielle: When your foundation is rocky and an explosion happens, it’s hard to build that back up. Now, we can have a fight and come back and talk about it because our foundation is more solid.
QUESTION
What condition is the foundation of your marriage in?
Communication Challenge:
Gentlemen, I want you to have a conversation with your wife about the dynamics of money. What is the connection to the attraction for you and the money you’re making or the lack of money you’re making?
If you’re a man and not paying the bills, have that conversation with your wife and just see where it takes you. If you can get her to be honest with you, it may be the prompting that you need to ultimately rise.
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about what you can do to create a stronger foundation inside of your relationship. What does that look like for both of you?
Quote of the Week:
“There are very few men on this planet who are actually ok with their wives out-fucking producing them. The girl owns the money card AND the vagina card. She owns the victory, the gina, and the money.”
–Garrett J White
“When you weren’t my money, you weren’t my honey. When I hold all the control, there’s no chemistry.”
–Danielle K White
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Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man.
warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
T
With shots of tequila in their system and amidst the flirtatious back-and-forth bantering that easily doubles as foreplay, the White’s jump into another episode of the Date Your Wife podcast with a conversation around Garrett’s favorite topic, Sex. For the new listeners, Danielle explains QQP (Quickie, Quickie Pornstar) and they have an honest and revealing discussion about keeping married sex spicy.
________________________________________________________Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: If You Don’t Mop the Floors, Somebody Else Will * Danielle: Many women approach sex with a “let’s just get ‘er done” attitude. If guys go long enough with only a simple clean up job, they’re not going to be satisfied. * Garrett: Danielle’s sex game in the last six months has gone through the roof. As a woman, she has literally blown my mind.
QUESTION
Where has mopping the floors in your marriage gotten you?
Point #2: Avoiding the Shithole of Married Sex * Danielle: Sometimes you have to act the part and play the role during sex. Entertain that idea and have fun with it. * Just because you’re laying there with your legs spread open doesn’t mean that’s attractive. When you’re married, if you expect to have that chemistry and spark, play the fucking game.
QUESTION
What is the condition of your sex life? What are the facts?
Point #3: Girls Just Want to Have Fun * Danielle: I’m happy that my man is fulfilled When you have fun with sex, you man is feeling fulfilled. It’s fun for him and it’s fun for you – it goes both ways. * Pretend you’re dating and ask yourself, How would I act? What would I do? Even after years of marriage, it becomes fun to entertain that thought and go with it.
QUESTION
Ladies, how do you feel about yourself when you just let yourself go and have fun?
Point #4: The Sex Game * Garrett: Many men have this faulty understanding about sex. They want to have sexual connection with their wife and they think that making money and investing in the children will get them that. * At the end of the day, she wants sexual connection but she also wants something else – she wants attention. If you give that to her, she will support you in the sex game and it will bring your marriage together.
QUESTION
What are you expecting from your wife yet at the same time neglecting to give her?
Point #5: Patterns * Garrett has this pattern of putting the girls to sleep and engaging in their nighttime routine, while Danielle professes that she’s not a very routined mom: “Brush your own teeth, say your own prayers, tuck yourself in.” * Garrett: There’s a lot of dad-guilt that comes when you work a lot. I do spend time with the girls in the mornings but I find I sometimes use them as an excuse to not have to be intimate with Danielle at night.
QUESTION
What patterns are in need of changing in order for you to make more time with your spouse?
Communication Challenge:
Gentlemen, if you want your floors more than mopped, what are you doing to create the environment for your wife to want to shine your floors?
Date Night Topic:
Have a converation about patterns that you see in your marriage and what you can begin doing today to change a pattern in one area of your life that will benefit your marriage.
Quote of the Week:
“The moon was out, the doors on our deck were open, and it was “Go Time.”
–Garrett J White
“In a relationship, if you say, “I don’t want to [have sex],” it’s honestly like starting a new workout. Put in the work now and eventually it gets easier. Before you know it, it’s actually kind of fun.”
–Danielle K White
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Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man.
warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
Danielle and Garrett are back inside the studio this week after leading 300 women through the powerful inaugural event, WarriorWomen. Knowing they have been called to serve, they are on a momentum high inside the Warrior Time Warp where change happens quickly when one is willing to be vulnerable and submit to the processes and evolutions, which Garrett and his family demonstrated themselves during a two-hour gut-wrenching and liberating experience.
warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Vulnerability * Danielle: Emotion is getting feelings out, vulnerability is digging deep and exposing who you really are. * Garrett: I defined vulnerability as a weakness for a long time. What I’ve come to know is that there’s strength in vulnerability
QUESTION
How has your definition of being vulnerable shifted over the years?
Point #2: Emotional Closure * Garrett: Married at a very young age to my first wife, we experienced a lot of chaos and life was very difficult. After 18 months, she said she was done, I ran, and we ultimately divorced. * For 16 years, I didn’t know how to be in their world; I didn’t know how to show up for my son. I unplugged and ignored. We never had any emotional closure to what happened.
QUESTION
Where in your world have you not experienced emotional closure and it’s time for that to happen?
Point #3: Submission Brings Freedom * Garrett: We submitted to a process of breaking down the hard shell. * Diving into this, I had no fucking idea what would happen, but what I did know was that our experience would ultimately help millions of people.
QUESTION
What do you know you want to be released from that has held you in a prison?
Point #4: Letting Go * Danielle: The recurring theme that Kristi brought up was, “I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you. And now our son is with you – and again, I’m not good enough.” * I felt the entire room was lighter, that everyone had released something.
QUESTION
What do you experience when you let things go?
Point #5: The End. Garrett * Garrett: Danielle was key to the reuniting of Parker and me. * “Stop pretending like he’s your son and that you’re his father. You’re not. Right now, you’re just trying to decide if you can be friends.”
QUESTION
Where in your world do you need to change how you view yourself?
Communication Challenge:
What does it mean and look like in your marriage to be vulnerable?
Date Night Topic:
Date Night is one of the places you can get to that real, raw, and vulnerable place within your marriage. You have the space to talk without kids or others around.
Have a conversation this week during Date Night and inside of that, get real, raw, and vulnerable – even if it means having an argument or collision.
Quote of the Week:
“One of the most intense two hours of my life was during WarriorWomen where I was on stage with my ex-wife, our son, my mother, and Danielle.”
—Garrett J White
“You didn’t lose Parker, this is just the next chapter where all of us get to be a part of his life.”
—Danielle K White
The White’s discuss the importance of getting away as a couple in this week’s episode.
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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Reconnection Brings Rejuvenation * Danielle: I think it’s crucial to have time together to reconnect, then when you go back home to the kids, you are rejuvenated. * When our relationship is on point, kids notice. They can pick up on the energy between you and your significant other.
QUESTION
How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary important to you?
Point #2: Mommy Guilt * Danielle: It happens to all the moms I talk to. Even though you’re excited and have a good time, there’s always this weird anxiety leading up to the vacation. * I feel that anxiety never really goes away unless you just push forward. You have to go on these trips and realize your kids are going to be just fine.
QUESTION
How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money?
Point #3: Hiring Help * Garrett: Can you see how your entire world has been held hostage by the fact that the only people you will trust to watch your children are your parents? * The entire game from a guy’s perspective comes down to you as a man creating space for your wife. One of the big hurdles you’re going to have to overcome is getting your wife to be okay with hiring help that is not free and I not part of the family.
QUESTION
How do you and your wife feel about this?
Point #4: Cashing In Chips * Danielle: Free help is never free. I feel like there is this debt with the Universe with family. I watched your kids so you have to watch mine; I brought you dinner so you have to bring me dinner too. There’s always this unspoken feeling of cashing in of favors with family and close friends. * There’s no such thing as free help when you go into it with the mindset of I will do this for you if you do this for me – then you owe me.
QUESTION
How often do you use your parents friends instead of hiring someone?
Point #5: What’s Important to You? * Garrett: Some guys are saying I don’t have enough money to get a babysitter. I say bullshit. You have enough money to put gas in your car; you’ll have enough money to get what you believe is important to you. * Space away from the kids creates perspective and power -perspective on your children, on you as a couple and perspective on your life.
QUESTION
What are your priorities?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation around the topic of Free Help vs Hired Help.
Date Night Topic:
Talk about places you would like to go on your quarterly trips together, set the dates, and begin making plans for it.
Quote of the Week:
“When you move away from working in the family and inthe relationship, and start to work on the relationship and on the family by taking trips and date nights away, you gain perspective. And that perspective is your power.”
—Garrett J White
“All you ladies out there, stop trying to be superwoman. It’s not serving you. Surrender to the fact that date nights are important and vacations are important, regardless of the anxiety you have surrounding your children. Guess what. You’re not the only one that can parent for your children.”
—Danielle K White
The White’s celebrate their 15 year anniversary in this powerful and entertaining episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast where they have a conversation around the all-important and ofttimes tricky topic of Money inside a marriage relationship.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Money Point #1: Save the Date * Danielle: For years, we celebrated our anniversary on the 22nd of August until six years ago when I found our old wedding book and was so shocked to see the date of August 21st. * Garrett: We’re grown ass adults and every year we text our mothers to see what date we got fucking married, though we do remember the first place we had sex after we got married.
QUESTION
How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary important to you?
Point #2: When Visions Collide * A crucial turning point for Garrett was in having a collision with Danielle about investing in blinds for his Warrior HQ – a vision inside his business that he could see but that she could not. * For a long time, Garrett didn’t see the point in the purses that Danielle loves buying, but now he does. Danielle: It’s creative expression which transfers over to confidence in life, business, and in everything else.
QUESTION
How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money?
Point #3: Leading a Double Life * Danielle: After everything was ripped from us, it took about four years to rebuild that trust. And in that four years, everything felt unsafe and inconsistent to me so I finally said, screw you. I’ll do my thing, you do yours. * As women, we look to our husbands for safety and security. When that goes away, there’s this lack of trust. I questioned every little move Garrett was making because I was building back up the trust from years of his patterns of inconsistency with money.
QUESTION
Gentlemen, are you providing security and safety for your Queen?
Point #4: The Awakening * Garrett: After giving Danielle the responsibility of handling the bills because I got so stressed out about my inability to pay them, she began taking on that stress. I realized I was using my wife as a shield from me having to deal with shit. * My wife started channeling heavy levels of masculine energy which had us fighting at home a ton. I’m like fuck, I’m coming home to a dude. I realized I was the one who had created this dude the moment I decided to turn the queen into a shield. I had an awakening.
QUESTION
What needs to shift in your relationship when it comes to being the man and leading the battle so you can take your wife out of that role?
Point #5: Reality Check * Garrett: Gentlemen, if you’re going to go make the money, then you manage the money. All of you fucking men out there who are expecting your wife to split the fucking bills with you, fuck you. * Women want a purpose to produce but they don’t want to feel the pressure of having to be the provider. There are far too many men who are okay with the idea that they can sit back and lean on the production power of the Queen and only build themselves far enough to meet halfway.
QUESTION
Ladies, how do you feel about this?
Communication Challenge:
Gentlemen, ask yourself this question: Who would I have to become such that my wife could choose to work and choose to produce if she wanted to?
Date Night Topic:
On your date this week, take a trip down memory lane and recall the events leading up to the day the two of you met. What impressed you about each other? What have you grown to love about each other through the years?
Quote of the Week:
“At the end of the day, I’ve yet to meet a powerful producing woman who doesn’t want her man to raise the sword and go to war so she can rest at times.”
—Garrett J White
“I got to this place where I wanted to be in the relationship with Garrett because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to.”
—Danielle K White
You’re in for a blushing hot time with the White’s in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Danielle and Garrett hold nothing back as they explore the reality of faking, fantasy, and payloads, and share intimate secrets and tips in this completely transparent and entertaining conversation about Garrett’s favorite topic, sex.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. SEX Point #1: The Faking Game * Danielle: Every girl fakes it. If she says she never fakes it, she’s like the guy who says he never masturbates. We get to this point where we don’t care if we have an orgasm – we’re just putting on a good show. * Garrett: Here’s the deal: I have faked it. I don’t care if Danielle fakes it. I actually like it and enjoy it more when she does because I feel like we’ve both scored.
QUESTION
How often do you fake it?
Point #2: Go For the Goal * Garrett: Do you think porn has completely twisted the thought of orgasms? We know this woman who never had an orgasm during her 13-year marriage. And she didn’t even know she wasn’t having an orgasm. * Danielle: You have to be a little selfish in bed and go after what you want. If she didn’t have an orgasm, it’s her fault. Even with the dullest sexual encounters, if I want it, I’m going to get it. You gotta be focused; you gotta go for the goal. You treat it like a sport, ladies. You get on it and accomplish your goal.
QUESTION
Ladies, how do you communicate what you want to your guy?
Point #3: The Warm Up * Danielle: If there’s a warm-up, girls are focusing on “holy shit, I’m not going.” If there’s not a warm-up, we’re focusing on “I’m going to go after the goal and get it.” If we get warmed up, it’s going to happen. But sometimes when we’re tired, we won’t submit to the warm-up, and then we’re all about a quick one. * Guys like the warm-up because the girl just submits. But here’s the thing. You can’t go in aggressively for the warm-up because then it gets creepy; then we’re thinking this is just gross, let’s just have a quick one. So, guys, you really have to seduce us.
QUESTION
Guys, what type of warm-up does your spouse respond to the most?
Point #4: Payloads * Garrett: If a guy hasn’t gone for a while, say it’s been five days, and there’s been no masturbation, he has a bigger shot. The bigger the shot, the more intense the orgasm. * Danielle. I think I purposely don’t go sometimes because I want the build up. I think it’s more of a control thing for myself. I can have a bunch of shitty pairs of shoes, or I can have a couple of really good ones.
QUESTION
What is your preference?
Point #5: Screenshots Matter * Garrett: Women, you have to give your man a screenshot. Danielle sends me photos of her looking super sexy in her swimsuits. She doesn’t send me naked photos or breast shots, she sends me super intense and very sexy photos that I put on my cell phone. * If we’re at the beach and another woman walks by wearing a thong, I’ll get triggered, but my mind immediately goes to the preloaded content from my wife in her sexy swimsuits or of her in the bedroom ironing her clothes wearing nothing but panties.
QUESTION
Ladies, how has the idea of creating screenshot moments for your guy enhanced your confidence?
Communication Challenge:
Begin having conversations about the following topics and discover how these two strategies can enhance your realtionship:
1) The Faking Game
2) Delivering Sexy Screenshot Content
Date Night Topic:
Use one of your next Date Nights to create some Sexy Screenshot content for each other.
Quote of the Week:
“I’m okay with the idea that Mystery Man is the guy who gets you revved up because, at the end of the day, I’m the one who’s scoring goals around here. You can be a fan in the stands all day long, but I’m the one holding the trophy.”
—Garrett J White
“Garrett has learned the art of holding back a little, and now I feel safe about giving him screenshots. I believe it creates content and spice in a marriage. If you don’t create content for your guy, he’s going to find content somewhere else.”
—Danielle K White
Dark Garrett and Susan are introduced for the first time in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, where married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White have a conversation around the topic of communication. They share how alcohol and therapy assisted in opening up the lines of communication between them, and how reserving Date Nights exclusively for each other continues to serve as a vital tool of connection in their marriage.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. COMMUNICATION Point #1: Sexual Communication * Garrett and Danielle express different personalities in their marriage at different times. While Dark Garrett and Susan cannot exist in the same space, the dynamics of these personalities brings spice to their relationship. * Danielle: Garrett’s a Gemini, so I feel like he’s always being genuine to the Gemini two-faced. Is it “Happy, fun Garrett?” Or is it, “I’ll rip your face off Garrett?” Garrett: Susan is a little more free-spirited and is also very aggressive. She throws champaign glasses in 5-star restaurants and smashes them on the ground. We end up on the beach where she loses her high heels and she’s making sand cookies. I love Susan. She’s rough, but I love her.
QUESTION
What are the different personalities that surface in your relationship?
Point #2: Alcohol and Communication * Garrett: Traditionally, people struggle with communication. At some point, there’s a line that can be crossed and also a line that must be crossed for individuals to get into a place of communication. Alcohol is one piece that some couples use. * In order for two people to be able to take their relationship further in their communication, both couples have to open up more. Alcohol has played into allowing Danielle and I to have deeper levels of communication.
QUESTION
What is your experience with alcohol use as a couple to enhance and deepen your communication?
Point #3: Alcohol and Sex * Danielle: Did you know that some couples have a hard time having sex without drinking? For me, good sex is when I’m totally sober. I know Garrett loves it when Susan shows up and does more of the porn star sex. But for me, with sober sex, I have better orgasms even though the sex may seem very plain Jane and traditional. * I’ve talked with many women who agree: If we’re super hammered, we can’t get off. If I come to a point where I’m super drunk, I will have fun playing the role of Susan for Garrett. I don’t really care if it’s beneficial for me that night because, at that point, it’s more fun just to have fun.
QUESTION
What role does alcohol play in your sexual intimacy?
Point #4: The Strategy of Therapy * Danielle: Garrett had suggested for the longest time that we do therapy. I said fuck you, I’m not broken, I’m not doing therapy. I was really stubborn about it. I was like, you work on yourself, I’m good. With divorce on my mind, and feeling like I hadn’t done everything I could, I surrendered and agreed to do therapy. * Therapy was really interesting for me. I was afraid that by sharing my problems, I would be exposed. I then realized that a lot of people have the same fucking problems in different variations. In going to a therapist, I felt like I finally had a sounding board where it was safe to share things.
QUESTION
What role has therapy played in strengthening your marriage?
Point #5: In the Beginning * Danielle: I felt like we had good communication when we were dating. That’s one of the things that I liked about Garrett. We would sit and talk for hours and hours, which was the first time I had experienced anything that. I felt so comfortable with him. We lost that when things got a little spicy in our marriage. * Garrett: The first business I launched after we got married, I was so focused on work that I remember Danielle, but at the same time, I hardly remember her. We spent the first ten years of our marriage just growing up. We were both re-growing as individuals and having to re-choose each other as a couple over and over and over again.
QUESTION
How has your communication changed and evolved from when you first began dating?
Communication Challenge:
What about therapy? What about alcohol? What about something else? Have an open conversation about the possibility of bringing these or other strategies into your marriage to enhance and deepen the levels of your communication.
Date Night Topic:
Take on different personalities during your next Date Night to add some spice to the mix.
Quote of the Week:
“If one of us is not in Dark Garrett or Susan, is there an attraction that exists between simply Garrett and Danielle? Or is it the dynamic of Susan and Dark Garrett that actually brings about the spice?”
—Garrett J White
“As long as we have our Date Nights and our family days, I feel like we’re able to have bits of time where we’re able to stay connected.”
—Danielle K White
On the heels of their return from their first eight-day family vacation in Europe, Garrett and Danielle delve into the spectacular topic that tends to come from sex: Parenting. In today’s episode, the White’s take us behind the scenes and give us a peek into what it looks like to manage their household, they give us tips for finding the perfect-for-your-family babysitter or nanny, and share stories of the magical and not so magical moments in Europe.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING Point #1: It Takes a Village * Garrett: Let’s talk about communicating instructions to people who take care of the kids. This is one of the big things about parenting. Most women have a big-time struggle with leaving their kids with anyone. In fact, we have tons of friends who will only go on a Date Night if a family member can watch their children. Danielle is at the top of the list when it comes to anxiety surrounding this issue. * Danielle: When we go on vacation, I still get nervous. Like every mom, I start thinking thoughts like, “Oh my God, what if the plane goes down!? ” Ultimately, you can’t live your life like that. You can’t not go anywhere or not do anything, or even not go on a date. I came to the place where I refused to let that hold me hostage. And I felt like I was being held hostage by my own anxiety and choice. Like anything, the more you do it and the more you surrender to it, the more it becomes less scary.
QUESTION
Ladies, how do you feel about babysitters watching your children?
Point #2: Finding That Magical Connection * Garrett: Outside of our family watching the kids, we would never go out because we didn’t have a babysitter. I was more concerned about having a babysitter so that we could connect. I knew if we didn’t connect and spend time together, which is Danielle’s love language, there was no chance for sex and connection to take place, which is what I wanted. So, I found a resource to help us find someone: care.com. * Danielle: After going through a few people that weren’t a good fit, I remembered that when I hire someone at my salon, instead of sending me their resume, I ask them to send me a video of why they think they’re a good fit for our salon. So that’s what I decided to do with care.com. Before we did that, we received over 100 emails in response to our ad. Once we asked for a video, we only received one response, which was from the girl we hired.
QUESTION
What are you looking for in someone who watches your children? What’s important to you?
Point #3: Topnotch Pay for a Topnotch Experience * Danielle: You can’t expect to have someone delivering you a topnotch experience if you’re only willing to pay them an hourly rate. With Tori, our nanny, I told her we’re going to be paying her well, and what I really want her focus to be on is our kids. You think you’re hiring somebody to be a mom, but really you’re just hiring somebody to take care of your kids and to make sure they’re feeling loved. * Garrett: I’m willing to pay someone a salary just to guarantee we have two date nights every week. I talked Danielle off the ledge many times about going into the game of salary. This person needs a guarantee. They need to feel like they matter and that they count in the equation. I watch a lot of couples expect the world out of someone but give them no guarantees in return.
QUESTION
How do you feel about the idea of a salary vs hourly rate for your nanny or babysitter?
Point #4: Happy Wife, Happy Life * Danielle: Like most women, when I work I just want to come home to a clean house. So the days I work behind the chair are the days I have my cleaner come in. It alleviates a lot of stress for me. Some people might think it’s ridiculous to pay a housecleaner to come twice a week, but if you look at the overall picture, and if it makes you a happier person, it’s totally worth it. * Garrett: I needed for Danielle not to be stressful. She used to be stressed out all the time about the cleaning. It would affect our intimacy and our communication, and we’d fight over all sorts of shit. I got to the point where I thought this is not worth it. Having a cleaner come in twice a week? Totally worth it.
QUESTION
Gentlemen, how are your expectations creating more stress for your wife?
Point #5: Creating Memories * Danielle: I had an amazing experience with my kids. Time is a big thing for me. Vacations are important. There are little moments and experiences that you have on vacation that you can’t have at home. To me, it’s really important and it’s the one thing I fought for in our marriage. Vacations create a lot of quality time and memories with family where sometimes it feels like you’re in a dream or a fairytale. * And then there are moments when you’re traveling with kids and you say you’re never fucking bringing them anywhere, ever again! These stupid assholes don’t appreciate it! It’s a weird balance of oh my God, life’s amazing, we’re in a movie and, we’re never bringing the kids again on another vacation! Still, the good memories outweigh the bad.
QUESTION
What are your thoughts about taking family vacations?
Communication Challenge:
What are your love languages? If you haven’t read the book, grab a copy and begin reading it together. If you have read it, what are you doing to meet each other’s love language?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about where the two of you are going for your next Sexcation.
Quote of the Week:
“We pulled off the herculean effort of all time. We not only went to Europe for the first time on vacation, we also did something a little out of the ordinary for us: we took our children.”
—Garrett J White
“Ladies, sometimes you just have to put your foot down for what you want when it comes to making family memories for life. And just remind yourself when you’re on that vacation – and sometimes forcing fun with your kids – that you’re building memories.”
—Danielle K White
In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett get down to the nitty-gritty details of the behaviors, patterns, and stories both men and women exhibit and live in when it comes to the topic of money. The White’s speak boldly and honestly about their experiences as a married couple inside the Game of Money – where men are typically driven by sex, and women by security – and share what they did that led them out of the throes of divorce and into a thriving and expanding relationship.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. MONEY Point #1: Safety, Security, and Sex * Garrett: We’re discussing the fact that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. But there’s this cross-over game specifically on the topic of money where a woman wants a man to produce, and yet inside of that, one of the challenges that happens is that the woman continues to cut the balls off the man as a Producer. * Danielle: Money creates safety and security for a woman, even if you’re a powerful woman. I’m a very independent person and have always been one to want to take care of myself. Inside of that, I also want to be taken care of. So it’s like this double-edged sword. In the end, we want to be taken care of but we can’t expect to be taken care of we keep fighting for the throne. It’s a balancing game and surrender on both ends.
QUESTION
How does this ring true in your relationship?
Point #2: No Money, No Trust * Danielle: At one point, Garrett wasn’t producing, so I decided to put on the man hat and figure it out on my own. When everything got stripped from us, I wasn’t feeling connected to Garrett. I didn’t know if I really wanted to be married, especially since we didn’t have any money. It wasn’t like I was trying to cut Garrett’s balls off; from a female perspective, I was just trying to survive. “You were the provider, you stripped that, so fuck you, you’ve lost my trust.” * Garrett: We’re sitting in this situation where I’ve built something and then I’ve lost it. I’ve also lost the trust of my wife. As I’m climbing out of the Pit to create financial results again, what I didn’t expect to happen was to be tested by the queen over and over and over. I would speak to the possibility of what I was going to go do and then not do it. She didn’t respond with something like “Oh hon, you’re amazing.” There was no cheerleading, “Hey you got this.” Danielle was scorned and had no trust in me.
QUESTION
When trust has been lost in your marriage, how do you both regain it?
Point #3: Preparing for War * Garrett: I struggled with this. I interpreted everything she was saying and doing as “She doesn’t want me, she doesn’t care about me, she doesn’t support me.” Add to that, our sex life goes to hell in a hen basket. Not only do I have some blue balls going on, now I have bloody blue balls, and I’m having to protect my balls from being cut off every single day. I didn’t know how to deal with this. * What I didn’t know and understand was that she was actually preparing me to go back to war, to go back outside the wall of the destroyed kingdom to rebuild and repair our lives, to pay the bills, to build us out of scarcity and into abundance, and to create.
QUESTION
Gentlemen, describe how your wife has been preparing you to go back to war.
Point #4: Balls of Steel * Garrett: When I finally mastered the game of being able to go into collision with my wife, particularly in the conversation of money, there was a shift that took place. I got to this point where my balls became as steel. “Woman, go ahead and hack at those balls because all you’ll do is break your knife.” At that point, life started to shift and Danielle started to trust. * Danielle: I felt like Garrett was taking back the throne. Part of me was resistant, and a part of me was thinking “it’s about fucking time.” When I started to see that happen, I began backing down and decided I was going to stay in my own lane. There were two years where we just stayed in our own lanes; we weren’t at war anymore, and the trust was building on both sides.
QUESTION
What does collision look like in your marriage?
Point #5: Daggers and Triggers * Garrett: Gentlemen, stop interpreting your wife’s “criticism” as an attack. Stop the process of making your wife out to be the villain and the monster who is attacking you. You have to find a new decision and a new path that says, “Listen, my wife is not attacking me, my wife is triggering me to grow. * Danielle: A lot of times, I felt like I was throwing daggers at Garrett. I wasn’t trying to trigger him, I wanted him to the be the man I knew he could be. But I couldn’t say that, so it became a song and a dance for us to figure out how to communicate with each other.
QUESTION
What does your song and dance look like?
Communication Challenge:
Have a candid conversation around the premise that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. How has this affected your individual behavior as well as your overall relationship?
Date Night Topic:
Gratitude: As you go on your date this week, share three things about your spouse or partner that you are grateful for.
Quote of the Week:
“This has nothing to do with your wife not being a producer. My wife is an ultra producer and out-produces most men I know. Inside of that place, we each have clear roles and responsibilities as a couple which allow us to both experience the growth and the possibility of being a couple. My responsibility is the King, and hers is not that role.”
—Garrett J White
“When women ask me how we did this, it’s like they’re wanting a checklist. I tell them to “put a mirror in front of your face and take a good look.” It’s the hard shit that women don’t want to face, and it’s usually the stuff noton the checklist that’s tucked under the mattress, or under the rug; it’s consistently doing the “little things” in the relationship that make a big difference.”
—Danielle K White
This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast is coming to you from the beautiful beaches of Cancun, Mexico, where your co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White are on a romantic weekend get-a-way. In this week’s conversation, the powerful duo opens up about the journey and evolution of their sexual rebirth.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast.... SEX Point #1: The Cancun Connection * Garrett: Part of the game of being married is taking trips, but for a decade, we didn’t go on vacations very often. And when we did, it was a shitshow. I was upset, I'd be working, and we’d get in fights all the time about sex. The first time we came to Cancun, though, there was a sexual revolution that took place for us during that trip. Now, going on vacation is this exciting thing for me. * Danielle: We come back here for long weekend get-a-ways, where it's all about having fun, reconnecting, unplugging, and hanging out; it's like having Date Night every night. I think that’s why we like coming here because it was one of the first trips we took together after we finally committed to taking the time to create the space and the money to make it happen.
QUESTION: What is the place you go back to that reminds you of your reconnection?
Point #2: Doorway to Apathy * Danielle: We’ll talk with couples who are having a great vacation, yet they're not having sex and they don't care. I feel it’s an interesting space to be in. They can say, "I have respect for my wife, we don't have sex, it’s not a big deal," but where and how does that trickle down into the relationship? * Garrett: When this happens, one of the things a guy will do is to completely shut down sexually and become this sedated, constricted, pitiful man. He will completely cut off his sex drive and lock it away. What women don’t understand is that this lack of sexual energy affects everything about a man's life - inside of his family and his business. Men become sedated dogs who just survive...and they’re okay with it.
QUESTION: How long have you been in the "I don't care" phase?
Point #3: Rejection * Garrett: There are guys who are sexually frustrated as fuck, and they’re trying to find a way out. They go beat the shit out of each other at the gym and then come home to this gorgeous Barbie doll princess-wife on ice blocks. I was begging for hand jobs back then and I was sliding down this path that was very confusing and frustrating. I didn’t know how to get out of it; I didn’t know how to snap out of that game. * If you’re a dude who’s thinking: I'm not getting fucking laid, I've been married to this woman for five-ten years, we’ve had two babies, we’re not having sex, it’s awkward as shit, I don’t get blow jobs, we don’t connect, my wife doesn’t even want me to touch her...I get it. I was there with Danielle. If I tried to approach her at all, or even tried to touch her or kiss her in any way, shape or form, she would reject me. Even when I was trying to reconnect, she was still rejecting the shit out of me.
QUESTION: Gentlemen, how does Garrett's experience resonate with you?
Point #4: Feeling Invisible * Danielle: I felt like my needs weren't being met. What I was attracted to at a very young age was this guy who had a lot of drive; I knew he was going to be successful at whatever he did in life. When he got to this place where he was working, working, working - which was what I was initially attracted to - my needs weren't being met with TIME. Garrett was working his ass off, and then he would come home wanting to get laid. * Slowly, the courting, the dating, and the fun began to go away. I became resentful of his work, I didn’t want to go to his events, I didn’t give a shit if he was speaking, and I didn’t care anymore. We were in this place where I felt like he wanted more, but I had been in this space for three to four years where my needs weren't being met. "Screw you, you’ve tarnished my trust, why would I cross the line?" I was in a painful place where I began questioning why I was even in this relationship.
QUESTION: Ladies, how does Danielle's experience relate to yours?
Point #5: Sexual Rebirth * Garrett: There has to be this moment where you make a decision: I am willing to do whatever is required to get to this place of my desire. What did I want? I wanted a relationship with my wife where we could communicate, talk, have open conversations, we could battle, we could dialogue, we could have sex or not have sex, we could be playful and flirt, we could hang out and connect - and inside of that, there would be no weirdness. It took years, not months or weeks, but years of working this out to get to where we are today. * Danielle: I went through a couple of years where I was thinking I don’t know if I want to quit - probably because I was scared - but I don’t know if I want to continue to stay married. That’s when I decided to just focus on me and my business; I started to focus on growth as a person. In that space, I think that Garrett started to work on himself, too, and we were both getting our mojo back. We've gotten into this powerful space together because we’re choosing it; we're choosing to do the work together.
QUESTION: What one thing are you committed to doing inside of your relationship to experience a sexual rebirth?
Communication Challenge:
I invite you as a couple to have a conversation around the possibility of participating in a 30 day KingsKit Challenge for the men: warriorbook.com, and for the ladies, participating in Wake Up Warrior for women: wakeupwarriorwoman.com.
Date Night Topic:
1 - Share the places you would like to go as a couple for your weekend get-a-ways.
2 - Set a date and begin planning your next one.
Quote of the Week:
"As a man, the first step to launching a sexual revolution within my marriage was to be able to be in a place of launching intensity and connection within myself, and of dealing with my own bullshit, lies, and stories. And inside of that, setting myself up on a trajectory of ultimately being able to create the conditions that would set my marriage sexually free."
--Garrett J White
"Have fun!"
--Danielle K White
Married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White, discuss the art of Crucial Conversations in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Their first encounter and first kiss are revealed as they take a trip down memory lane, and Garrett introduces the Triangle, which doubles as a favorite sex move of one of the Warriors as well as a communication strategy – a strategy which has proven to be a total game changer for Garrett and their marriage.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. COMMUNICATION Point #1: First Kiss * Garrett: Seventeen times we went out for ice cream until you decided you couldn’t handle it anymore. I played the “I don’t give a fuck” game, you came after me, our lips brushed, then you landed one on me. I had a pattern of burning relationships with girls very quickly, like within two weeks. But with you, I really wanted to kiss you, I really wanted to have sex with you, and I still want to have sex with you all the time. * Danielle: We were laying in your bed. After a two-hour shoulder massage, I knew I had to be classy and not just go in for the kill. You lined your face up with mine, your lips were nuzzling mine, and I remember thinking, “I don’t know what this is but I better go in.”
QUESTION
What is the memory of your first kiss with your spouse or partner?
Point #2: The Triangle * Garrett: The triangle is one of the natural things Danielle does when it comes to putting herself in another person’s shoes. When tensions are high, when there’s a lot on the line, and when shit is spicy, Danielle has the ability to diffuse the situation. She did this for a decade or longer before I was able to. * Danielle: When I find myself getting emotionally riled up, I don’t like being in that space, so I place myself in the other person’s shoes. I try to envision it from their perspective, which helps me calm down. I may not agree with them, but it helps me understand why they’re acting the way they are, and why I’m being triggered by them.
QUESTION
What happens in your conversations when you put yourself in another’s shoes?
Point #3: Crucial Conversations * Garrett: The first step in having crucial conversations is to get clear about what Iwant from the conversation. The next step is, what do I want for my wife in this situation? And then the third, what do I want for us as a couple in this situation? * As I answered these questions, it gave me clear distinctions and actions that would force me to not be right, and force me to let go of things. For ten years, I fought to be right, over getting what I wanted
QUESTION
Where in your world are you not clear about what you want? How is this affecting the actions you’re taking inside of your relationship?
Point #4: What Does My Partner Want? * Garrett: I used to think, “What the fuck is wrong with you, Danielle? Why aren’t we having sex?” I wasn’t holding a safe space for Danielle. The safe space is a place you hold for another person for safe dialogue, where you just let them talk. I couldn’t hold open that space at all, especially with Danielle, particularly when I was feeling triggered sexually. I would become this crazy person. I would get clear about what I wanted but I had no concern for what she wanted * Danielle: I think that guys have this belief that because they’re providing, their wives should naturally want to have sex. As women, yes, it’s great that you’re providing for us, but we want you to want to spend time with us. Guys want action and sex, women want guys to want to hang out with them without the pressure of having sex.
QUESTION
What are you doing to provide and hold space for your spouse?
Point #5: Groping vs Seducing * Garrett: I got to this place where I wanted Danielle to feel wanted, and part of that included seducing her, not just touching her all the time. It became more and more natural for me to help her get what she wanted, knowing that in helping her get what she wanted, would get me what I wanted as well. * Danielle: In that space, it was interesting. You’d want to come spend time with me, but the only way I can describe it is that you were groping me. You had your hand planted on my ass and were literally all over me. I would get triggered and annoyed, which would lead to you shutting down. I just needed a safe space where I could enjoy the time with you while getting warmed up.
QUESTION
How does this resonate with you?
Communication Challenge:
Your final challenge inside of this week’s show is this: Sit down and have a conversation and ask yourselves these three questions: What do I want for myself in this situation? What do I want for my partner or my spouse in this situation? What do I want for us as a couple?
Note: Keep in mind that it might be a little emotionally triggering for both of you. This is a good time to practice the art of holding space for each other.
Date Night Topic:
Take a trip down memory lane: How and where did you meet?
Quote of the Week:
“I think what you’re going to find once you get clear is that there’s a lot of shit you’re doing that will not get you what you want. It makes it easy to shift gears and to say I’m not going to do these things anymore, and instead I’m going to do these things because these are the things that will get me what I want.”
—Garrett J White
“Garrett’s always a good surprise. If you’re bored or safe, that’s not necessarily a good place to be in a marriage. I feel if you’re in maintenance mode, you’re stagnant and digressing.”
—Danielle K White
It’s no secret that the Date Your Wife Podcast doubles as a weekly therapy session for married co-hosts, Danielle and Garret J White. This week during their candid conversation about the topic of parenting, fireworks are ignited as they each take a strong stance for their differing parenting tactics and strategies.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING Point #1: Monster Mom, Monster Child * Garrett spent this past week in Costa Rica on a surfing vacation, and Danielle and the girls flew to Utah to be with her parents for a few days. That first night deep in the jungle of Costa Rica, Garrett received a frantic and emotional text call from Baily, their eleven-year-old daughter, who was screaming and freaking out about her smashed cell phone. That night, he realized that at the end of the day, he had absolutely no control over what was happening over 3500 miles away in a different country. * Danielle: At the same moment Garrett was having that realization, I was having the realization that there was nothing I could do, either. Bailey had flipped her lid and was totally irrational, to the point where anything I said escalated the situation on both sides. I started out calm, and then I got to the point where monster mom came out. I reminded her that she’s eleven and is not entitled to a phone, and eventually grabbed her phone and threw it. I suddenly realized that monster mom created monster child.
QUESTION
What is your parenting strategy when your kids are behaving irrationally?
Point #2: To Slap or Not to Slap * Garrett: Danielle texted me and asked me what she should have done. I said, slap her, but she said no. “Breaking cell phones is a very expensive habit because every cell phone you break, you inevitably end up getting a new cell phone, and we just end up spending more money. Slap her, it’s free, and a quick slap takes care of it all.” * Danielle: I remember being backhanded by my mom a few times. One time she did it so hard that I flew into the window and got a bloody nose. You want me to slap her, but the repercussions of being a pre-teen and having your mom or dad backhand you across the face cause far more scarring than throwing a cell phone.
QUESTION
What are your thoughts about slapping? Yes or no?
Point #3: Cell Phone Family Plan * Danielle: When Baily doesn’t have her cell phone with her 24/7, she’s more present. She has a tendency to get into her head. She worries about the wrong shit and gets sucked into the vortex. I think there’s a lot of good that comes from Social Media, but there have to be boundaries, and there have to be limitations so there isn’t this sense of entitlement. Tonight when we get home, we’re going to create a cell phone contract with her. * Garrett: I think the contract is a very good idea. I just think you need to be very clear about what you’re going to put on the contract. You better be ready to enforce it, and you better know what the enforcement of the plan is, otherwise it’s just going to be another one of those things that never happen.
QUESTION
Cell phones and kids – why or why not?
Point #4: Different Parents, Different Strategies * Garrett: As parents, we have radically different strategies for dealing with our children. I deal with life one way, Danielle deals with life another way. Part of what used to cause a lot of conflict was that we didn’t know how to submit to what the other person was passionate about. For example, Danielle said that Baily told her to her face that she’s a fucking bitch. I would slap her in the mouth. * But Danielle’s opposed to that and thinks it’s super trashy. In my opinion, if our daughter calls Danielle a fucking bitch, she deserves to be slapped in the face. The end. Danielle’s strategy is to ignore and wait until things blow up, then she deals with the chaos from that point on. I like to intercept shit and punch it before it becomes a major issue. This has created a lot of chaos for us as we raise our children because we have totally different strategies.
QUESTION
What are your parenting strategies?
Point #5: Kings, Support Your Queens * Garrett: Gentlemen, yes it’s your job to lead in the house, but at the same time, your wife spends more time with your children. At the end of the day, although I may have opinions about how things should go on at home, she spends the most time with them and they’ve figured out their game. One of the worst things you can do is to fuck up their flow, even when it looks like complete insanity from the outside. Just support it. * There’s a shitload of disrespect in our country with kids in this age group who just don’t give a shit. They talk shit to their parents, to adults, and to teachers. I don’t necessarily have the answers, but here’s what I do know: inside of it at some point – as a man – it’s more important to back your wife in what’s going on than it is for you to be right.
QUESTION
How is this conversation resonating with you and your spouse?
Communication Challenge:
Discuss your parenting strategies in the area of discipline. How can you two come together to create a unified front?
Date Night Topic:
To slap or not to slap: Why or why not? How has your upbringing shaped your opinion about it?
Quote of the Week:
“Have the courage to have conversations even when you disagree.”
—Garrett J White
“Make sure that whatever the plan is that you back your significant other.”
—Danielle K White
From the perspective of powerful producers, parents, and business owners, Danielle and Garrett’s insightful conversation sheds light on the important role money plays in marriage relationships.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Details Matter * Danielle: In a lot of relationships, men do the jobs and women take care of the details. I’m not factually oriented at all, and if you give me too much information, I shut down and I can’t do it. One of the biggest things that helped our marriage was when Garrett decided to take over the bills. I found Garrett more attractive once he did that. * Garrett: Part of this means taking on the bullshit – the stuff that is required when it comes to money. My wife didn’t want to deal with paying the bills and my story was I just wanted to be able to focus on production so didn’t want to take care of them.
QUESTION: How do you and your spouse handle the details in your marriage? Point #2: Attraction Factor * Garrett: As a man, if you’re not getting it done financially inside of your relationship, you cannot demand attraction. Why? A woman wants to feel safe and secure, and she wants to be taken care of. Even if she’s a Producer at the core, this is what she desires. * Danielle: A lot of times in relationships, guys expect their wives to be the woman, yet they demand their wives to do the jobs that are typically dude jobs. If I expect Garrett to show up and be the man, I have to submit in certain areas; if he expects me to be the woman, then he has to take away those manly responsibilities and treat me like the woman.
QUESTION: Gentlemen, what comes up for you when you hear that most women want to be taken care of? Point #3: Money Roles in Marriage * Garrett: The truth is, I would yell at my wife about not getting on the phone with the insurance company. I began asking myself, “Do I want my wife getting on the phone and having her end up getting exhausted, fatigued and stressed out by dealing with the insurance company, and burning up all of her sexual energy in creative frustration in the process?” The answer was no. * For the first ten years of our relationship, I expected my wife to be the man when it came to managing the money. What I saw in my house growing up was my mother managing the money while my dad was making the money. He would give it to my mom and she would make it all work. That was all I knew. So when I got married, guess what I expected?
QUESTION: What expectations do you have in your marriage based on your upbringing? Point #4: Hats and Roles * Danielle: I have different hats, different roles, and different boxes. When we’re on Date Night, work can’t carry over into the Date Night box. In past years when we weren’t in a good place, we would talk about work and it would always snowball into something crazy. * As a wife, mom and business owner, I’ve had to learn to compartmentalize when it comes to a wearing a mom hat and a business hat. I think the best way to go about doing things in a relationship is to own every side of you but know how and when to put on each hat as needed.
QUESTION: Ladies, how are you doing with the different hats you wear? Point #5: Energy and Connection * Garrett: Any time that a man and a woman connect inside of marriage, it’s spiritual. It’s an unseen attraction that exists. It’s not something physical or tangible that we can touch, it’s something inside of us that we feel. * Energy inside of a relationship when you’re married is connection. And anytime there’s connection, there’s spirituality. Money creates the opportunity for you to experience deeper levels of connection – in the making of it, the maintaining of it, and the creating of a life with it. Money matters.
QUESTION: How do you and your wife create deep connection in your relationship?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about the role money played in your upbringing and how you want it to play out in your life going forward.
Date Night Topic:
What does “Being the Man” and “Being the Woman” look like in your relationship?
Quote of the Week:
“We want you to submit and be a woman but at the same time, we kind of like it when you punch us in the face. It’s a dual turn on. I want to be mentally challenged by you to the point that I’m fucking pissed, but at the same time, I want you to submit as a woman.”
—Garrett J White
“Everyone who says money doesn’t matter is full of shit. In our experience, not having money or even losing it, definitely put a stress on the relationship. I believe money is a very important tool.”
—Danielle K White
The White's take it over the cliff in this week's episode as they dive deep and get personal in their candid conversation around the always spicy topic of sex. Be prepared to receive massive value as they revisit the ever-popular QQP, explore rejection and how it shapes patterns and behaviors in the bedroom, how Garrett's before marriage "sex talk" reveals common challenges in Orthodox-based religions when it comes to beliefs and conversations about sex, and how their relationship has undergone a massive facelift in the past two years.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week's Podcast....SEX Point #1: The Shift * Garrett: It’s been a long time since we’ve fought about the sex topic. I don’t know what's been going on the past two months, but you’ve been on it. It’s been fun as fuck. I don’t know what's happened inside of you, but I need that shift to continue. You’ve been playing out QQP like a champion. It’s like your daily Core4. * Danielle: I gave myself permission to have fun. As women, we sometimes take on the story that we're not going to be used, that it's beneath us. The Shift is when you realize you can get your heart's desires and dreams by understanding that men are actually pretty simple. Everybody's happier when we own that the V is very powerful.
QUESTION: Where in your world would making a shift be a game changer?
Point #2: Rejection * Garrett: When you’ve been married for a number of years, there are patterns that tend to get created that are fucked up. I felt rejected for ten years, which led me to feel very weak in the bedroom. I didn’t feel wanted, and I lacked confidence and certainty. This led me to interesting patterns of masturbation, porn, and drinking. I was trying to figure out how to survive. * No matter how rejected you’ve felt, you have the power to change that story. I was not able to change that story on my own. My wife and I going to marriage and sex therapy allowed us to pull that off. Another very powerful tool we use, known as the Stack, can be found at warriorbook.com inside one of our 30 Day Challenges known as the KingsKit.
QUESTION: What patterns and behaviors have you fallen into because of feelings of rejection?
Point #3: Wifey Guilt * Danielle: Sex is the only topic in the wifey guilt. "Oh no. It’s been a few days. I didn’t do my wifey duties." Women naturally know when things are not aligned, and where we're not putting the time and effort into certain areas of our life. When the kids are screaming - but I know we gotta do this - these are the quickest nights. I enjoy these because the next day it brings more peace into our relationship. * There was a time I felt, why should I be guilty? I’m not being fulfilled. For so many years you played the victim - poor me, you owe me this. Because we’re married, I have to put out every night? Fuck you, I don’t owe you anything. Then I got to this point: have a quickie, connect, it’s not that big of a deal, and then we carry on in this happy place in our marriage. For me, that's fulfilling.
QUESTION: Ladies, how can you relate to this?
Point #4: Birthday Surprise * Garrett: These last couple of years, it's been this really powerful game where I've recognized that what I actually wanted from my wife was not the penis and vagina experience - don’t get me wrong, that's what I want. But what I've wanted is to feel wanted. What was amazing about my birthday is that I felt wanted. * Danielle: Garrett was in the middle of an event in Huntington Beach during his birthday. He was on stage and nobody really knew it was his birthday until his lead trainer, Sam, announced it. As 350 guys sang Happy Birthday, I walked onto the stage and surprised him. For Garrett, it was this moment of, "Oh my God. She wants to be here."
QUESTION: What would be possible for your relationship if each of you actually felt wanted by your spouse?
Point #5: It's Kind of Messy * Garrett: For the guys who get exactly what I’m talking about, if you were raised in a pretty orthodox religion and you were not married to a woman who was practiced before marriage, nor were you practiced before marriage - on the one side, there’s a huge advantage to having sex before you get married. I know that’s going to completely burn the ears of those who may be listening, "Oh my God! I’m completely against that!" * Danielle: Yes, there's good that comes out of us being raised this way. But where's the line? Is it a blessing or a curse? Garrett: People don’t measure the consequence of not being sexually aware at all. They’re not being trained. When we were raised, we were not trained or taught. I didn’t even know what a clitoris was. My dad’s sex talk to me before I got married was, "Be sure you have a cloth handy. It’s kind of messy.”
QUESTION: What do you think: Wait until marriage, or have some experience before getting married?
Communication Challenge:
Have a conversation about how you were raised, and how that has shaped your beliefs, patterns, and behaviors about sex.
Date Night Topic:
How can you both bring new vitality into your relationship?
Quote of the Week:
"I would love to invite you as a man to join us in the KingsKit challenge that you can find at warriorbook.com and be part of that experience. And if you’re a lady listening to this show, I would encourage you to send your man over to that."
--Garrett J White
"Ladies, if you’re in that place where your guy’s not really being the man, you have to reevaluate and ask yourself, “How can I show up and be the woman?" Sometimes, the strongest women need to surrender to what’s going to benefit you, your family, and your relationship. A lot of times you discover, "Wow, that served me more than I thought!" Commitment is the first step.
--Danielle K White
Communication is the topic in this week's Date Your Wife episode where Danielle and Garrett discuss growth, conflict & collision, and how we all take on different characters and play different roles in our relationships.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication
In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION Point #1: Activate the Gremlin * Danielle is the owner of DKW Styling Salon and has created a hair extension system called Natural Beaded Rows. She and her team are basking in the afterglow of their most recent three-day convention, where they hosted 350 students eager to learn Danielle's system. * Garrett: A comment came in from an associate of ours who was at the convention: "You know, Danielle is like a gremlin - cuddly, nice, sweet, and fun. And then you pour a little water on it and out comes the beast. I watched Danielle speak and train like I have never before seen her. Her gremlin was activated!"
QUESTION: What causes the Gremlin in you to activate?
Point #2: Characters and Roles * Garrett: I've realized that we as human beings have lots of characters and we play different roles. If you look at this from an acting perspective, you take on different roles and play different characters. Inside of a marriage relationship, there are a lot of roles that we are required to create and master. * Danielle: In business, a true professional knows when to use each character in the different roles they are required to take on. As a woman, I have to know when to wear the work hat, when to wear the mom hat, and when to wear the wife and lover hat.
QUESTION: What are the different characters and roles you take on in your marriage?
Point #3: Growing at Different Speeds * Danielle: When we lost everything and Garrett was trying to discover himself, I was always telling him to just figure it out. He would want to share and connect with me, and when I didn't want to, he felt I wasn't growing. I decided I wasn’t going to worry about what Garrett was doing, but rather work on me and stay in my own lane. * Garrett: We grow at different speeds and at different times. This changes our roles and makes communication difficult. The challenge becomes staying in your own lane. When you’re trying to communicate and you’re both in two totally diffident places, it can be very difficult.
QUESTION: How do you handle growing at different speeds in your marriage?
Point #4: Choice vs Force * Garrett: I got to the point where my power and my path were going to be about choosing me, choosing the path that I wanted, and inviting Danielle to come along with me. I told her this is where I'm going, I would like you to come with me, but if you don't want to come that’s okay - I’m still going to go. The more I took that stand, the better our relationship became inside of our communication. * Danielle: It's because it became about me getting to choose and not feeling like you were forcing me or dragging me. For me, that actually feels better. If you go to an event that’s all about self-help or self-awareness, you don’t want to come home to your spouse and say "by the way, you’re broken and you should probably come with me and get fixed." That's kind of like how it comes across.
QUESTION: Are you more likely to force or to encourage choice in your relationships?
Point #5: The Control Factor * Garrett: I'll have you consider that the worst thing that could ever exist inside of a relationship is one where there is no collision in communication. Collision must happen, and inside of that, control must be submitted at times. * Danielle: In order to ultimately get what you want, you have to choose your battles. Sometimes when we’re fighting we realize we’re both on the same team, we let it go, calm it down, and then revisit that conversation.
QUESTION: How do you handle collision in your relationship?
Communication Challenge:
How do you handle and resolve conflict in your marriage?
Date Night Topic:
What are you committed to as a couple in the area of growth?
Quote of the Week:
"When you’re growing, and your partner may not be growing at the same speed, you have to stay committed to what you want, move forward, and invite them into the picture."
--Garrett J White
"Learn how to communicate with your partner in that safe zone."
--Danielle K White