Raising Marriage Podcast: Recent Episodes
Kirsten Hatcher
Is parenting killing your marriage? Successful marriages take work and so does raising children. Doing both can seem impossible. In the Raising Marriage Podcast, Kirsten Hatcher, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and her husband, John (not a therapist) show you how to parent with your partner while actually growing your marriage.
Enjoy the holiday season with your partner and family This episode provides tips on how to manage the busyness of the holiday season while working together as a couple.
Learn how to handle family expectations, create new traditions, plan your schedule, and budget for expenses.
By having important conversations and getting organized, you can reduce stress and conflict to truly enjoy this special time of year with your loved ones.
This episode of Raising Marriage focuses on how to start difficult conversations in marriage using a "softened startup" approach.
Kirsten and John discuss the difference between harsh and soft startups, explaining how a softer approach can lead to more productive conversations and conflict resolution.
Listeners will learn practical tips for implementing softened startups, including identifying feelings, expressing needs clearly, and using "I" statements.
The episode highlights how this communication technique can improve relationship dynamics and create a more positive environment for addressing challenging topics.
Resources- The Gottman Institute - Research on harsh vs. soft startups in relationships
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Episode 45 of Raising Marriage podcast - Discussion on weekly marriage check-ins
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ChatGPT or other AI tools - Can help rephrase harsh statements into softer language
This episode of the Raising Marriage podcast focuses on building a strong family unit and creating a home environment that children will want to return to as adults. The hosts discuss the importance of balancing marriage and parenting, and offer tips for cultivating family connections. They emphasize that it's okay if your family is your main "tribe" rather than feeling pressured to have a large social network. Key ideas include establishing rituals like weekly pizza and movie nights, having regular family dinners, maintaining open communication, and finding shared activities like camping that bring the family together. The hosts also address how these connections may need to evolve as children grow into teenagers and young adults.
Resources
Below is a list of resources mentioned during the episode:
• Instagtram: @raisingmarriage
• Conversation starter cards for family dinners
This episode of Raising Marriage gets real. Kirsten and John share how one theme kept them going in their family crisis - advocating for their child.
They navigated a challenging medical diagnosis for their son, offering encouragement and practical advice for other families facing similar struggles.
Key takeaways:
- The importance of trusting parental intuition
- Persisting in seeking answers even when faced with roadblocks
- Balancing traditional and alternative approaches to healthcare
The goal of this candid discussion is to help parents feel less alone and more empowered to fight for their child's wellbeing.
Thanks for listening and...
Keep Growing!
This episode of the Raising Marriage podcast focuses on the importance of manners in marriage.
Kirsten and John discuss how good manners can build respect, show appreciation, and create connection between partners.
They explain that manners go beyond just saying "please" and "thank you" to include acknowledging each other, showing gratitude for big and small contributions, and finding moments to connect throughout busy days.
The episode provides practical tips for improving manners in marriage, such as greeting each other when entering/leaving, expressing genuine thanks, having regular check-ins, and making an effort to notice positive things about your partner.
Kirsten and John emphasize that cultivating good manners can help prevent taking each other for granted and foster a more positive perspective on the relationship.
ResourcesEpisode 45 of Raising Marriage podcast - Discusses the weekly marriage check-in practice
This episode explores strategies for breaking through stalemates and unproductive arguments in marriage. Learn how to move past surface-level debates and dig deeper to understand each other's perspectives. The hosts share personal examples and practical tips for compromising effectively without feeling like you're always giving in. By reframing compromise and focusing on shared goals, couples can find creative solutions that work for the whole family.
Resources
Book recommendation: QBQ (Question Behind the Question) by John G. Miller
In this episode of Raising Marriage, Kirsten and John delve into the common issue of alcohol-fueled arguments in relationships and provide actionable strategies to address and overcome them. They share their personal experiences and practical tips to foster better communication and healthier connections.
Kirsten and John encourage listeners to foster open communication, stay sober during conflicts, and use structured forums and journaling to enhance their relationships. By implementing these practices, couples can prevent arguments from becoming bigger issues and build stronger, healthier marriages.
Key Takeaways From Todays Episode:
- The Role of Alcohol in Arguments:
- Alcohol is often a catalyst for arguments due to its relaxing effect, which can lead to the release of pent-up frustrations.
- Minor issues can become significant problems when amplified by alcohol.
- Importance of Open Communication:
- Lack of communication when sober can escalate conflicts when drinking.
- Effective conflict management skills and understanding are hindered by alcohol consumption.
- Structured Forums and Business Meetings:
- Regularly scheduled business meetings for discussing feelings can help manage conflicts before they escalate.
- Weekly relationship check-ins are crucial for addressing concerns and frustrations in a structured manner.
- Journaling as a Tool:
- Journaling helps process intense emotions and brings clarity to underlying issues.
- It differentiates between petty issues and significant discussion topics, aiding in more coherent and kinder communication.
- Creating Healthy Activities:
- Engage in activities not centered around drinking to build healthier, more meaningful connections.
- Staying sober during arguments is advised to avoid emotional hangovers and messy, incoherent conversations.
Join us next time on Raising Marriage for more insights and tips on nurturing and growing your relationship!
Marriage doesn't have to be hard- we're here to show ou how to keep it fun and fulfilling!
Join us as we uncover the secrets to maintaining a strong marriage through meaningful and playful conversation. Yes, you need to have the tough conversations about big issues like sex, money, and childnre. But you should also balance those moments with fun and lighthearted conversation.
Humor is the glue that can hold a marriage together, and this episode is packed with tips for including more laighter and quirky chats into your relationship. We share practical tools like "Would You Rather: questions and the Gottman Carddecks app to spark some sun.
Balance is key when it comes to your conversations.
Join us on this journey to keep growing together while having a blast along the way!
Did you begin your weekly business meeting we discussed in Episode 42? Now lets add some more substance and a way for you and your partner to check in with one another on a deeper level.
In this episode, Kirsten shares questions you can use in a weekly meeting to emotionally check in with your partner. John shares what he loves about the questions and how he sees it have a positive imapact on the relationship week in and week out.
For eas reference of the questions:
- What went well in our relationship this week?
- What went poorly this week?
- What is something I did this week that made you feel loved?
- How could I help you more on a regular basis?
- What is something I can do regularly to make you feel loved and appreciated?
Join us, Kirsten and John as we open up about our family’s tough two-year journey. We faced challenge after challenge when our family hit this crisis, but we faced it together.
Our latest podcast episode is about how the years we spent building a strong marriage got us through this difficult time. We worked together to parent through a season of emotional, behavioral and ultimately medical challenges.
In our chat, we share the story behind it all and how reflecting on this helped further shape Kirsten’s perspective on marriage counseling. Parental unity is crucial for a child's well-being.
We invite you to join our open conversation in hopes that it’s helpful to you in your family’s journey.
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Is it really the dishes you're arguing about?
Most likely it's something deeper. Even though it's more uncomfortable to go deeper, you should!
Listen in as we explore the subtle art of conflict resolution within relationships. Sometimes the best strategy is beyond practical solutions. John and Kirsten get into the importance of understanding each other before jumping into problem solving mode.
Is your family's schedule a jigsaw puzzle, but no one knows where all the pieces are?
That's where we were too, until we started having weekly family business meetings. In this episode, we share how this simple strategy has helped us run the week. Plus, there's a bigger benefit that these little meetings set the stage for (more on that in a future episode). In this episode we share the benefits of having a weekly business meeting as well as tips to help you start your own.
Welcome back to Raising Marriage! After a hiatus, hosts Kirsten and John are excited to return with new episodes to help couples connect in their marriage.
In this episode, Kirsten shares updates on what's been happening since the last recording. The Hatchers faced some big family challenges during the break, but everyone is healthy and doing well.
Moving forward, Raising Marriage will return to regular episodes, sharing strategies and tips for building and maintaining a strong marriage while raising a family.
Connect with Kirsten on Instagram @RaisingMarriage.
Stay tuned and keep growing!
Date 3 brings on the top of Sec & Intimacy. John and Kirsten go over the importance of talking about sex in your marriage while following along with the Gottman Relationship book 8 Dates
Join Kirsten & John on Date 2 from the Gottman Relationship Book 8 Dates. They talk about how important it is to develop a game plan for when you are having conflict!
Join John and Kirsten as they work through Date 1 from the Gottman Relationship book, 8 dates.
Date 1 is all about trust and commitment, and just what that means in a relationship.
Kirsten & John share about the Gottman Book, 8 dates and encourage you to take the journey alongside with them while they complete the 8 dates on air with you listening!
This book encourages and even gives the guidelines and questions you can ask to grow your relationship and learn new things about your partner and your relationship!
Join Kirsten & John as the recall all that has been shared in the first season of Raising Marriage. Highlighting how children do shake up a marriage and how together partners and grow and learn more about one another and work on strengthening their marriage!
In this episode Kirsten and John discuss conflict and how it can actually be a good thing in your relationship. Conflict is inevitable and if looked at in a slightly different way can help you and your relationship grow!
In this episode Kirsten and John talk about feeling detached/ disconnected from your partner. They give tips on how to work through the disconnect and get your relationship back on track!
The Holidays can result in a lot of planning, activities and overall chaos. In this episode Kirsten & John share 4 tips on how to get the most joy out of this Holiday Season!
Have you ever forgotten an important date in your marriage! Tune in to this episode while Kirsten and John do a little story time of how they recently did just that!
In this episode Kirsten shares a revelation she has had about her own parenting.
John and Kirsten discuss what it can look like if we are parenting out of fear, versus coaching and guiding. Listen here and see if it is something that resonates with you as well!
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In this episode Kirsten and John share with you how they have managed settling in to Virtual School (hint things did not start out so great). They share tools and strategies they used to work through all the kinks that came their way!
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In this episode Kirsten and John discuss how it is very important to recognize how you bring something up to your partner will decide if the conversation will turn into a fight or not! Tune in to this episode to learn some tips on how to bring up an issue and be heard.
In this episode Kirsten and John talk about how in most marriages there is someone who does a lot of the house hold management. There are times that this can cause some tension in a relationship. John and Kirsten discuss how to avoid the tension from someone feeling like they are doing it all!
In this episode Kirsten & John share how they work with helping their children to identify and label their feelings and emotions. You know the emotions that can often lead to tantrums and tears.
Emotion Chart
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Do you spend one on one time with your children? In todays episode Kirsten and John talk about how it is just as important to spend alone time with your children as it is to have a simple date with your partner! Listen for tips and why one on one time for children is so important.
In this episode John and Kirsten celebrate 10 years of marriage, but sharing 10 things they have learned while being married!
Kirsten shares 3 tips on how you and your partner can work on talking through the unsolvable conflicts in your relationships. You know the one! The one that you avoid or that causes you a lot of anxiety and anger to even think about, listen to this episode for tips and strategies on how manage these conversations.
In this episode Kirsten & John share 6 tips on how to have conversations about difficult topics with your children.
The tips shared today can be used in other situations in your life, but seem important to share during what is occurring in our country right now when this is being recorded.
In this episode Kirsten and John do things a little different and share one of their parenting bloopers! They talk about how they fumble together during their first attempt at trying out a time out!
Relationships do not need to be marked by grand gestures and huge moments. In this episode of Raising Marriage, Kirsten and John discuss how the simple moments in your family can create some connections and memories!
This is a question parents ask themselves from time to time. Parents often want to make sure their children are OK. In this episode Kirsten shares how she answers this question to potential clients and friends!
Today Kirsten and John talk about the buzz topic of love languages. They discuss how it is just as important to speak your partners love language as it is to understand your own!
Kirsten and John often talk about the importance of Simple Dates. Simple Dates is where you find time for JUST mom and dad, so you can focus on being husband and wife! Join Kirsten and John as they play one hundred questions. Which is a Simple Date that comes from the Raising Marriage Simple Date Guide. Link to the guide so you can receive your copy today:
https://raisingmarriage.com/simple
In today's episode Kirsten and John talk about the importance of a parental hierarchy, and what it even means to have one. They provide tips on parenting together and about how important it is to remain aligned as husband and wife when we enter into the parenting world!
Do you and your partner talk about your dreams and goals? In this episode Kirsten and John talk about how you can use a bucket list to encourage a conversation that helps you both to share your dreams and goals!
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At times we can find the little things our partner does to me frustrating, and then we begin to nit pick these behaviors and see out partner in a negative way.
Today Kirsten & John talk about how to stop harping on the small frustrating behaviors and look for the positive things your partner is bringing to the relationship.
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In this episode Kirsten & John talk about how the two separate worlds of work and home have collided collided for most of us. Listen for tips on how to manage this new home/ work/ family environment.
It is now week three of home quarantine in the Hatcher House. In this episode John and Kirsten talk about how it is ok to not feel okay!
This is a new experience for all of us, and sometimes we need to recognize that that it is ok to admit we do not know what we are doing and that some days are not as great as others!
When there is conflict in your marriage you need to stop ignoring your partner, and HAVE.THE.CONVERSATIONS! Kirsten and John keep telling you to have "these conversations," and today they talk to you about what can make them successful! Good Luck!
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or email Kirsten if you have any questions!
As we work on social distancing what does this mean for our families? In today's episode Kirsten and John talk all about the Coronavirus and being quarantined at home.They discuss how to navigate all that is happening from feeling anxious to managing work schedules!
Opposites attracting is a very romanticized when in the dating world. Then you get married, start a family and begin raising a partner with someone who is opposite of you.... and things can get a little frustrating! In this episode Kirsten and John encourage you to look at how you can look at your opposites as a strength rather than seeing it as a fault in your partner!
Stop expecting your partner to read you mind! In today's episode Kirsten and John discuss what it means to have expectations in your relationship. They also talk about how it is so important to verbally share your needs with your partner so you do not begin resenting one another.
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In this episode Kirsten and John talk about one of their tougher seasons of parenting. They reflect and share what they learned during this time!
Parenting styles, oh there are so many! In this episode Kirsten shares a continuum for assessing parenting styles with your partner and she and John talk about what the conversations can look like when you are trying to determine the best ways to parent your children!
Kirsten and John share some ground rules they try to implement in their marriage when arguments arise. They encourage you to be ready for arguments in your marriage, and to see them as a chance to grow together in your marriage.
In this episode Kirsten and John talk about how important it is to have financial conversations with your partner. They share with you the evolution of financial discussions in their marriage, and how they believe that working on the same financial goals can bring you closer together!
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In this episode Kirsten and John talk about the necessity of connecting with your partner each week and share an easy way to get started!
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Do you speak about your husband and wife in a way that lifts your relationship up? In this episode Kirsten and John discuss the importance of always speaking positively about your partner!
Children are a wonderful addition to your family, but the dynamics can get thrown off a bit. In today's episode Kirsten and John will share with you when they realized their marriage had been shaken up, and offer some suggestions on how you can get things back on track in your family!
In this episode Kirsten and John share about who they are, their relationship and what they hope to help you with when raising your marriage.