What Is Humans?: Recent Episodes
Shane Strunk and Dennis Kluba
Dennis Kluba and Shane Strunk experts on almost nothing discuss meaningful topics about everyday life that make up human existence.
Perseverance is the act of pushing through despite difficulty or challenge. How often are we faced with adversity? The anwer is quite a lot. On a regular basis we have challenges that come our way without warning or heads up. This isn't an excuse to give up and curl up into a ball, but rather an opportunity to push forward.
There is a school of thought which says that we should hide weakness and ignore pain or suffering. Remove it from your vocabulary and it's like it never happened. This path can be detrimental and ineffective in the long run. It doesn't serve us to live outside of reality. We have to address adversity.
By addressing struggle and being honest we can begin to put things into perspective. Make fair assessments of how difficult a task truly is and what it is going to take to persevere. Most of the time this fear is built up in our heads, so do yourself a favor get it out of your head and onto paper before you even thing about giving up.
When it comes to buy in, it is two fold. As an individual you have to be bought in to your career, hobbies, and life. The flip side of the coin is that you have to have buy in if you are going to lead a project yourself, whether that be a family, a company or a team. A team has to be bought in to be able to implement long lasting instrumental changes. This notion has been studied and analyzed time and time again. The question is how do we create it and better yet how do we maintain it.
How do you build something that people want to be a part of? That is the real question. Do you communicate the bigger vision, do you lead by example, do you identify purpose in the people around you? These are all valid questions and strategies that are worth being discussed. It is easy to buy in to something originally when things are fresh and easy, but as time goes on how do you keep the momentum up?
By identifying the why? You can begin to communicate and see a bigger vision and how each individual fits into that puzzle. Then you have to do the unsexy things to be able to lead by example. By doing the things nobody wants to you show others naturally the commitment you have to the cause. These easier said than done steps are just a couple ways buy in can be established, let us know what we missed because as always we are experts in almost nothing!
Almost Friday Media today is an established brand in the new age media world. Boasting more than a dozen channels, multiple podcasts, and sketches, Almost Friday Media has grown significantly since its early days as a proverbial meme page on instagram. A lot of that growth is in part thanks to our guest on the podcast today. Alex Edge is the VP of operations at Almost Friday Media. The individual that has helped create the systems and processes that have scaled this company from 6 employees to approximately 40 in about 2 years. Alex is quick though to pass the praise and admit the growth and success has been a team effort. During our time together he constantly reminded us of all the talented individuals that have helped him on his journey and how none of the success he has received would be possible without the others around him.
This humble mindset and attitude is a theme that while contrary is what he attributes to his success over the course of his career. Alex outlined the importance of chasing your wildest dreams, but advocated for doing it a little differently than maybe what is portrayed in the movies. He believes the key to his success has been his ability to get along with others and work hard. Seems simple right? Alex Edge is the epitome of first in the office and last out of the office, always there to keep the ship moving in the right direction. The thing that separates Alex is his ability to inspire and understand the people around him, and always allow them to feel heard. Recognizing what an individual or the room needs to hear at any given moment.
This soft skill which has set Alex apart over the years has been a staple over the course of his storied career, in television, film and digital media. He has worked on projects like Adam Ruins Everything, Chopped, and College Humor. He describes the ups and downs of chasing your dreams, from his first days in Los Angeles as a broke kid parking boats in the marina all the way to the future of digital media for Almost Friday. While this episode is chalked full of takeaways the one we are most left with is the Edge’s ability to lead with an undeniable combination of effort and compassion. Enjoy this episode from a friend and hero of ours, Alex Edge!
The correlation between how much you care and how much you succeed is palpable. You could be the most talented baker in the world, but if you don’t love to bake there is only so high that you will be able to go. Caring and passion push those that are good into greatness, and it’s not something that comes in time or develops more as you go, it seems it truly is there or it isn’t. Whether this is in our careers or in our relationships we have to care more than anything about them to be able to fight through adversity. There is a difference however between external and internal care.
External care can be deceptive. Maybe we care because we want validation, or we are seeking safety and security. That type of care can be detrimental, because it is dependent on things outside of ourselves. This care is misguided and has our self worth tied to the result or the reactions of others. In career and relationships we have to be married to the progress and the work, and ultimately this will be what allows us to achieve success apart from external circumstances.
When you are building a team, the first characteristic that comes to mind might not be caring. It might be an afterthought or something that you assume is a prerequisite. This turns out to not be true. Look for the person that may need a little more training or coaching to get there, but cares more than anything else. That person will have the capacity to go further because he or she will continue to work even past what they have been told they are capable of, and this includes ourselves as well.
No idea is original? Every single idea that you have had has been informed by a million different stimuli before you. Your childhood, the sandwich you ate yesterday, the way your shoelaces didn’t tie quite right every single thing is a culmination of experiences that have crossed your mind. This can be a sobering thought…one that shouldn’t be digested lightly. There is a piece of us that wants to hold on so tightly to ideas, sentiments and beliefs that we believe to be our own. We take pride in them, they are ours aren’t they?
The reality is this idea of hubris and originality can hold us back from creating the idea that unlocks the world for so many people. The minute we believe an idea is solely ours we covet it, and hold it close to our heart, scared that anyone might claim it as their own, and god forbid poke holes in it. That however is the genesis of how real innovation and originality is created. By sharing your ideas and experiences with others they can give you feedback that you haven’t been privy to.
They make your idea stronger because they have different experiences than you do. Those ideas are then boosted by collaboration because you have engaged new ideas and thoughts that were never before thought of…all because you shared it, and weren’t worried about the credit. No idea is owned by you, but great ideas are born out of what is already in existence and then iterated upon. Remember that the next time you are worried about sharing a new thought in fear that it might be stolen or your bubble might be burst because of someone else.
Rick Rubin said in the Creative Act, “Doubt your work, but don’t doubt yourself.” Or something to that effect. The idea was that doubt might not be the worst thing in the world. Doubt is vilified in society. “Doubting Thomas” is even a saying that we use to describe people who are nervous or anxious about a plan, idea or themselves. Doubt can be detrimental though when it is tied to all or nothing statements. Those statements might include, “I can’t” “I could never” “I hate”. These statements are finite or concrete. There is no room for growth. Doubting your work on the other hand is another story.
The language around your work could look like, “I can improve on that version”. You have made something, and you know there is room for growth. “I might not have given my all that time, I think I can try harder next time.” These phrases create room for growth, and they also indicate that work has already been done. When we doubt our work we scrutinize it and realize we can improve. When we doubt ourselves we never do any work to begin with.
Doubt your work and not yourself. You are capable of doing whatever you set your mind to, but there will always be room for improvement. The only way that we will be able to start and gauge how we are doing is by starting and continuing. The language that we wrap our central nervous center with will undeniably become our reality. Speak growth into existence. Doubt your work. Never doubt yourself.
Ok we realized that when we originally aired this episode it didn't necessarily get the credit that it was due. Our guest Tanner James is a long time friend and mentor to both of us, and we released this episode when Shane and I were both travelling and a little all over the place. We want to rerelease this episode because of how valuable the conversation was not only for ourselves, but also for others at home. I hope this time you are able to better enjoy the ups and downs of Tanner's creative journey.
"This episode was recorded at 7ish in the morning. Tanner sat down in the studio with us and settled in. We were lucky enough to steal a couple of minutes of his time as he was boarding a flight to Japan later in the day. It seems this detail is important to share because it mirrors so much of his way of life. From the outside looking in he moves quickly to and from the next adventurous and awesome pursuit, but always taking the time to engage and connect with friends in his home town of Venice Beach. The conversation we had today begins to peel back some of the layers that explain exactly how Tanner got to where he is now. Like many Tanner wasn't an overnight success. From his hometown in Minnesota to photographing stars like Dwayne Wade, to becoming a model and now content creator everthing kind of seems like a blur.
Tanner as we already knew is an open book. He explains how he fell in love with photography, despite family and friends choosing more traditional hobbies and career paths. His love of skating created some unique opportunities down the road, but not without some obstacles in the way. He teaches us valuble lessons in believing in yourself and taking the leap long before you think you're ready. His life today is a testament to this. Whether it was when he moved to California without a plan, or becoming a model in the middle of the pandemic with zero prior experience he is constantly going all in on his dreams. Tanner's most recent journey into content creation makes complete sense considering all his roles up to this point. Listen in on today's conversation to learn a little more about what it's like to photograph Oscars nominees, model for brands like Hoka and Converse all while eating some of the best food in the world!"
This is a finance term, we will not be trying to explain finance in this episode because as everyone knows we are not experts in this subject. Rather we are going to explore how the idea of economies of scale informs other facets of our lives inside and outside of business. Economies of scale primarily refers to the connection between the costs of production as a company grows. In layman’s terms this is the advantage that you or a company may have by increasing production. If we are planning for success which we always should be we have to be looking down the road a little bit to see what’s on the horizon.
If we are lucky enough to see that we are going to have to increase production efficiency in order to continue growing at the rate that we want to, then we have achieved economies of scale. As we grow, someone who has been there before is used to producing at a higher clip than you are. This could be as simple as balancing work and family, like a parent with ten years experience. This could be something like completing a homework assignment much quicker due to more resources than yourself. The worst thing that could happen is output goes up but average costs per unit does as well.
To avoid diseconomies of scale in our lives we have to work on communicating early and often. If others around us know that we are growing and thus need help, have less time etc. it makes them aware of your change in behavior. We must also trust in others around us to help carry the weight as production increases. Ultimately you are one person and your limits do exist. By trusting the people around us this drives average cost per unit down in our life as a whole. With another set of hands we are able to move quicker, faster and farther than we ever would have been able to by ourselves.
In this digital era, one of our most valuable resources is our attention. Every single moment of every day, we are inundated with new information and stimuli that may or may not add to our lives. We are more connected than ever for better or for worse. Our family can reach us all the way across the world, but so can our boss. We can hear about a deadly attack on another country, but we can also be subject to memes at 3 in the morning. This bombardment on our dwindling attention span is being too easily traded, like a commodity instead of the luxury that it is.
Our focus and attention is what allows us to be present and achieve depth, but if we are being pinged slack messages at every waking minute of the day, how are we supposed to work on the presentation that we are simultaneously being pinged about. Our attention is powerful and valuable and we need to begin to treat it as such. The minute that we allow others to steal our attention without ample gain we put ourselves at a deficit. Not everything we focus on needs to be life or death, but we need to be intentional about what we focus on. If we are sitting down to watch a movie let’s put everything else away and watch the movie. If we need to get some work done let’s sit at our desk and disable notifications.
This is easier said than done. We are being inundated with more and more media than ever before and thus our attention span is being stretched more than ever before. That being said, we have to become more diligent and aware of where our time is being spent. Silo your information and stimuli in order to optimize for depth. The more we can focus our attention on the task at hand the better off that we will be.
Our Central Nervous System sits behind our brain and dictates over all other things how we act and behave. We have three phases inside of this central nervous system; ventral aka free, sympathetic aka fight or flight and then dorsal aka depression. Those three phases supersede our feelings and our moods. Your CNS can be affected though by your daily habits and routines. When we are operating at a high capacity we are resting and working equally creating a flow state where we feel free and creative.
In society we are often told that more is more. The harder we work the more successful we will be, but there seems to be a limit. We have to focus on rest and recovery the exact same way that we focus on the work or else we will slip into the sympathetic phase. A fight or flight moment in which we are neither free or creative, but rather stressed and frantic. While this is ideal in times of severe distress this rarely is the phase that high level performers operate at.
By stepping back and keeping up with daily maintenance we are able to get into flow more often than when we run ourselves into the ground. The ability to step back and recognize when we are overwhelmed and run down, isn’t made better by working harder. Being held accountable for these behaviors takes pressure off of our Central Nervous System and puts it back onto our daily behaviors. When we change our mindset around work life balance we can have a better understanding of when we are at our best.
A mentor of ours named Logan Gelbrich recently introduced us to a new phenomenon, named breaking frames. The idea that in order to grow we have to ultimately break the frame in which our capacity is limited to in order to expand it and take in new information. We have a limited understanding of the way the world works, moves and acts based on previous experiences. Those could be from our family and friends, society or coaches mentors etc. If we don’t seek out new and disconfirming information we fall prey to only achieving growth when tragedy strikes.
We are forced to either grow or to sit in pain when tragedy strikes. This could be something like a death in the family, losing your job or a break up. We then find ourselves changing and growing out of necessity, but the argument we have in front of us is the idea that we could instead grow before tragedy strikes. We could potentially do this by seeking information that goes against what we may previously believed to be true.
Seeking out this disconfirming information is difficult, but we can break the frames that previously limited our understanding. New possibilities and explanations either reaffirm what we already believed to be true or it has forced us to grow and learn before tragedy strikes. This topic was very poignant for us at the What Is Humans? Podcast and we hope that it means something for you all at home as well!
Cal Newport is an expert on productivity, and he recently went on a podcast that we love called the Rich Roll Podcast. In this episode Rich actually spoke about a coach of his that talked about running a marathon. The coach says, “The fastest runner never wins the race, but rather the runner that slows down the least.” This quote is interesting on many levels. One because almost always we believe that the fastest runner will almost always win the race, and two because of the way this quote reaches outside of the realm of running altogether. The fastest runner would have peaks and valleys to their race. Sprints and walks Sprints and Walks. The runner that never slows down only on the other hand either maintains or gets faster.
When it comes to productivity in any facet of our life we can sometimes believe that life is more sprints and walks than a long term effort, in which we are only getting faster. The discipline it takes to restrain ourselves from sprinting away into the distance to get ahead of others, only to see them slowly passing us later as we are hunched over wheezing. Our relationship with time, and immediate gratification is who we have to thank for that. We believe that we always need to be at the next step right NOW…faster, better, stronger, but in reality the way Cal Newport sees things is that slower is better.
Planning your life in such a way that consistent effort will allow you to achieve your goals is a more sustainable and enjoyable approach than the latter. Getting all worked up and then burning out, in a moment’s notice is enticing, but usually more taxing than we think. This week work on focusing on fewer things, and going deeper rather than wider into the things we care about. Value deep work over quick wins. If it won’t matter in 5 years don’t spend more than 5 mins on it.
We are getting in our own way. Everyone does it. We think that we can do everything or we believe that if we ask for help or seem like we aren’t the best at everything we will in some way look dumb. The reality is that when we have the self awareness moment that we don’t need to take on absolutely everything we can set our minds at ease and invest more into the things that are important to us. The more time we spend on mundane tasks or ones that are outside of our core competency that we really aren’t that interested we are giving up time that could be spent somewhere else. We are constantly getting in our own way.
The reason we get in our own way could be lots of things, one of them in particular could be our egos. It can feel like at all times we need to control everything or do it ourselves if we want it done right, but oftentimes it’s the exact opposite. By letting other people in and being able to ask for help we can alleviate a lot of the stress that is already weighing on our shoulders. Other individuals have different and better skill sets than our own sometimes and in order to thrive we have to let them execute on those activities.
Think about the time in your day that is spent doing things that are mundane or don’t necessarily apply to you that are slowing you down. Optimize your schedule by allowing others to help where it applies and focusing on what you do best. If you find it hard to understand what you do best, then look at where you spend your time and where you enjoy it most. This is where you can spend more time doing something you are good at that also brings you joy, and then delegating tasks and activities that will slow you and the other people around you down.
This title is much more ominous than the conversation. Today we discussed a new take on an old theme at the What Is Humans? Podcast…Expectations. In a recent conversation that Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang gave to a group of Stanford Graduates he wished them pain and suffering. You might be thinking that sounds pretty malicious who would ever do such a thing, but Jensen thinks otherwise. High expectations are often born out of circumstances in which we are expecting certain things to happen. Outcomes that have almost always been there for us, given our effort, our upbringing or a myriad of other inputs. When things like this go exactly according to plan, it kills the resilience that we naturally build inside of ourselves, and that was what Jensen was aiming at.
Resilience comes from facing obstacles and getting up and trying again, continuously pushing forward with vigor. This resilience is what Jensen was looking for. Selfishly, this felt so good to hear coming from the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world currently. An individual that was wishing pain and suffering on Stanford grads, what could be better? While there is some satisfaction in hearing this, there is also an application factor that we have to acknowledge in our own lives. Have we at home been exercising our own pain and suffering. Putting ourselves in uncomfortable nearly impossible situations only to become stronger when we inevitably fail because of them.
We have talked many times about getting comfortable being uncomfortable, but this should just be more evidence that we need to double down on such things. Use your own pain and suffering to better yourself and constantly seek it out. Fan the flames of your relationship with failure and pain, and we will all surely become stronger because of it. The moment that we start expecting things to happen because of this or that we become soft and less likely to bounce back when things don’t go our way.
This episode was recorded at 7ish in the morning. Tanner sat down in the studio with us and settled in. We were lucky enough to steal a couple of minutes of his time as he was boarding a flight to Japan later in the day. It seems this detail is important to share because it mirrors so much of his way of life. From the outside looking in he moves quickly to and from the next adventurous and awesome pursuit, but always taking the time to engage and connect with friends in his home, Venice Beach. The conversation we had today begins to peel back some of the layers that explain exactly how Tanner got to where he is now. Like many Tanner wasn't an overnight success. From his hometown in Minnesota to photographing stars like Dwayne Wade, to becoming a model and now content creator everthing kind of seems like a blur.
Tanner as we already knew is an open book. He explains how he fell in love with photography, despite family and friends choosing more traditional hobbies and career paths. His love of skating created some unique opportunities down the road, but not without some obstacles in the way. He teaches us valuble lessons in believing in yourself and taking the leap long before you think you're ready. His life today is a testament to this. Whether it was when he moved to California without a plan, or becoming a model in the middle of the pandemic with zere prior experience he is constantly going all in on his dreams. Tanner's most recent journey into content creation makes complete sense considering all his roles up to this point. Listen in on today's conversation to learn a little more about what it's like to photograph Oscars nominees, model for brands like Hoka and Converse all while eating some of the best food in the world!
We are shaped and molded by our experiences. Our worldview and outlook changes over time as we grow up and begin to form opinions of our own. The lens that we begin to then see the world through shapes our interactions as well. We have a closed understanding of what is possible and what isn’t the way the world is and the opportunities and obstacles that exist. This perspective is solely based on our experiences. The minute that we widen that lens and open ourselves up to new ideas and ways of thinking we change the lens through which we look.
The lens that we look through is based on our experiences and this can be comforting to most. We have a way of understanding the world and the way it works and for us as humans that is undeniably necessary. We cling to the idea that we KNOW what’s going on. Nobody likes to feel like they have been left out of the loop. Here’s the truth though, just like a camera lens when we widen our lens we let in more information, and thus are exposed. Our reality comes under fire, but what if our reality is only a product of the lens that we are looking through.
Today we are working on widening our lens, readjusting to what is possible and re upping on those expectations. Our experiences in the scope of the world are few…we have to continue to pull on new information and either affirm or recreate what we believe the world to be. By staying locked in our perspective we then can become inflexible or scared of new and radical ideologies which may only seem that way because we have never experienced them. Ask questions, be vulnerable and challenge what you believe to be true. You may see a whole new world, if your’re lucky.
Broken promises are the answer to your success. That might seem counterintuitive but we would like to argue the case. Broken promises exist at a place where you are stretching and reaching past what you think you might be capable of reaching. As long as those promises are calculated, studied, and aligned with what matters most to you then broken or not everything will ultimately work out. If you fail to hit your goals and keep your promises that become the breeding ground for learning moments that can ultimately propel you to even higher heights.
Internal promises and external promises exist and a lot of times we are stretching ourselves to keep promises that we really don’t care about.Those reasons could be acceptance or approval from others, or the idea that our worth is equivalent to the outcome of those promises. “If I don’t make it to their birthday they won’t be my friend anymore.” People understand when we need to put ourselves first, but we often build up the severity in our heads that it is worse than it truly is.
When it comes to setting promises that matter to you we have to look inward. Figure out what is most important to you and if the promises you are making are aligned with them. Then find out what your current threshold is. Do some research based on your own experiences and see what you’re capable of. Most people make the mistake of making promises that are way outside of their normal experiences or things that they have never done before and then are upset with themselves…of course they are. The work doesn’t end when you break a promise it only begins.
Communication is key, at least that’s what we are told. How much communication? How often? Are we speaking the same language? Are we on the same page? All of these sayings come back to one commonly misunderstood principle: communication. Whether this is in your professional career or in your personal life, typically nobody has benefitted from oversharing. We all fall victim when sharing too much information, but those consequences are far better than the latter. When we aren’t clear about what we want and what we need it can lead to resentment because we assume that the other part understands through context what we need but that is seldom the case.
Communicating early and often can be tough. We often get in our own heads wondering if the person across the way will respond the way we hope, if we’ll lose something in the process, potentially even a friend or client. All of that is what will happen if you withhold honesty. Your needs are pertinent and relevant to the people around you and in no way make you weaker. Others expect the behavior that we have always outwardly expressed. If we are in opposition to that internally we will naturally be misaligned.
Communication is difficult. It can take many individual times to really get through to someone. Don’t let that stop you from being honest and open about what you want and need. You won’t always be met with open and loving arms, but that external conflict will be much better than pretending everything is hunky dory when you are screaming on the inside. If we can proactively communicate what is going on we can better service those around us, and in turn they can better help us too!
In today’s episode we discuss the idea of hurriedness. This term manifests itself in different ways, physically, mentally and more often than not it becomes a state of being based on the first two. “I’m busy” is a socially acceptable term in the western world that signifies much more that what it says on the surface level…. This is a good thing, it means you are doing a lot and people like that…it means that you don’t have much time aka you’re in demand. These are things that we have been trained to seek as approval when it comes to our state of being. In this episode we will argue for the latter…an elimination of hurry. Cut back on the hurry and recognize the stress that you can omit from your life if you just stop rushing around.
As we stated before hurriedness manifests itself in different ways…one of them primarily being the individual that outwardly projects themselves as such. This can be the bull in a china shop analogy. They rush around from place to place, like a tasmanian devil constantly on the move. While this person may feel comfort in staying in motion they are most likely frantic and frazzled when entering a meeting or an interaction. This energy can be off putting and exude chaos as opposed to control. This type of chaos that exists around hurriedness is exactly the stress we want to try and avoid because the reality is that rushing doesn’t do much good if it is all that you are doing.
Having urgency and rushing are two very different things. Important people that have jam packed schedules have urgency and understand the value of their time. Rushed people jam a million things into one calendar day, week and month without rhyme or reason, unable to draw boundaries and put themselves first. When it comes to showing up for others in your life a rushed version of yourself is a lesser version of yourself. We make mistakes, we snap at those closest to us, it just isn’t a great look. We want to challenge ourselves to say no more often and prioritize the things that are most important to us. Understanding what you need means more to others around you than you will ever know.
Today we are joined by Hope Forman; Attorney at Law, Ultra Marathon Runner, and Ice Cream Entrepreneur. Hope is a long time friend of ours, but more importantly she is one of the hardest working and most disciplined people that we know. In our conversation we run through her early childhood, adventures to Africa, and how she got into long distance running in the first place. Her undeniable sense of self has allowed her to choose what she loves over the status quo time and time again, rarely bending to adhering to trends or society based on what others believe to be “cool” or “popular”.
It hasn’t always been roses though in Hope’s athletic or professional career. She outlines struggles with identity, guilt and an eating disorder. While we all struggle with similar things in our own lives, Hope has done a remarkable job to listen and sit with that pain in order to find new inspiration when things look most bleak. Her ice cream business, “Only The Good Stuff” was born out of a battle with an eating disorder and a need to consume more calories whilst embarking on long and grueling training sessions. Her love of long distance running actually began as an escape from other imbalances in her life.
Listen to the stories that Hope has to share today, and the takeaways that speak most to you. There are many to choose from, but her tenacity and discipline to achieve in everything that she puts her name to will always be a line through that anyone in any industry or personal battle can look to emulate. She remains a constant inspiration in our lives and we are excited to share that light with all of you! We hope you enjoy our conversation with Hope Forman!
Today we are discussing mentorship. Primarily this conversation will be through the eyes of seeking mentors in the space that you wish to improve. While we don’t touch much on how to become a better mentor the advice and questions should apply equally! It has been something that people have told us about ever since graduating high school it seems. Whether you are reading it in a book or a linkedin post every single well to do article talks about the importance of mentorship. Successful people have mentors…but what does that mean? How did they find them? Who are these “mentors”? These were the same questions we had, and to be completely honest ones that we really hadn’t seen the value in until recently. Mentors were always just captains, coaches, and managers to us. They were much more given rather than chosen. While you can’t choose your boss necessarily you can choose your mentor, and you should.
When it comes to finding a mentor, you should keep a couple of things in mind. You want to find someone that you believe is further along in their journey than you. That could be in a multitude of ways. They could be further along in their career, or in your industry. Choose what that mentor is going to be able to contribute best for you. Number two, never show up empty handed. These mentors likely won’t have a ton of time to give you. Whether that is buying coffee, or offering to drive out of the way to make it more convenient for them, make sure you are doing your best to pay it forward because their time is more expensive than yours right now.
Mentors can really make or break your journey. They can speed up processes, help your avoid pitfalls and connect you with the right people. Spend time and energy seeking out mentors to help smooth the learning curve of life. Asking for help can be hard, receiving none is much harder!
Today we are joined by Ema Rajic as our first guest on the What Is Humans? Podcast. While Ema is our friend she just so happens to also be a national record holder, and Olympian. She sat down with us to discuss what brought her to such high performance levels at such a young age, her dreams being muted due to a global pandemic, and life after sports.
Her candid conversation and stories surrounding new highs is grounded by her vulnerability in expressing the lows that came with that success. Her family laid the groundwork for her strong willpower and dedication to her craft. Listen to Ema reveal the pain of coming back to swimming after achieving her biggest dream.
Today, Ema works in the pharmaceutical industry researching ways to help be a part of the cure for cancer. Her swimming career taught herself and both of us many things about high performance, vulnerability and what it means to be human. Enjoy.
We create habits and routines in our lives because it is comfortable. We find things that work for us, and takes the fuss out of mornings, nights, work and play. We are all different but in some way shape or form we all have routines and habits that dictate a majority of our time on earth. What if routines can be a bad thing though? Surely we can become stiff and unable to adapt to change, but what if we don’t understand or know why we do the things that we do? Whether that is sitting in front of the television at the end of the night to wind down, or checking our email first thing in the morning when we wake up we must have a why behind this…right?
The minute that we do things without a thought behind them we are disengaged from what we are doing. We are simply going through the motions. You’ll know if you are going through the motions if you were to ask why I do that and your first response is…”I don’t know”. Analyzing our every move can seem daunting…but don’t think of it as an audit rather…having purpose behind our actions. If we have purpose and intention with our daily routines and habits we are able to trace back where we are at today…to where we are going in the future.
Nothing is routine, be willing to introduce new things into the mix, not only to adapt and find better ways to perform, but also to keep asking yourself why things are the way they are. Have a reason to your rhyme and a rhyme to your reason even if that reason is simply to be mindless. It’s ok to take time for yourself and be spontaneous but just be intentional with it!
There is a massive difference between, 0 and 1 and not that big of a difference between 1 and 10 or 1 and 1000, let us explain why. Whether you are getting off the couch and on your journey to running a marathon, or you are looking for a job, but you just need to write the first line of your new resume…the first step is the hardest. This step is also the one that catapults you into an exponential amount of work and success once achieved! Many of us are plagued by perfection. We think that because things aren’t perfect, we can’t post it or we can’t start the application for a new business, because everything isn’t in line yet.
The truth of the matter is you’re never going to be ready, so you have to do things before that point. Perfection is the enemy of good enough. In a data set of 1000 nobody is paying attention to one entry. They are looking at the average of the whole, the improvement overall. This is like one piece of the puzzle but arguably the most important piece of the puzzle. You can start anywhere but you have to start.
This week think about the ways that you can tangibly start putting a foot in the right direction. Don’t give yourself time to think about the outcomes, rather just focus on putting in the work and letting the rest go. Use your hindsight to recognize that if this is something I am passionate about there will be plenty more of where this came from and one singular piece won’t rock the boat one way or the other. Get from 0-1 today and the rest will be cake.
What comes first…do we start talking about things and then we become thought leaders, or do we do a lot and then talk about them later after we believe that we have accomplished enough to finally share it? We would like to argue for the latter. In order to become a subject matter expert on anything you must do before you are ready. You must immerse yourself in it, teach before you’ve done anything, while you’re doing it and afterwards as well because it is all valuable. If we convince ourselves that nobody will listen to us or care because we haven’t accomplished enough yet then I think there is a fair chance we never will reach that non existent level in real life.
By being a part of the community in which we seek to contribute to we are acting as just that contributors. All of the heroes that you can think of in your mind…they were once novices who probably were talking out of their ass most of the time until magically one day after talking and doing and tweaking and repeating over and over again, you believed that was enough time to start listening. Nobody is going to listen in the begin but you have to start speaking in order for people to listen in the end, or even to have something valuable to be heard.
There will never be a perfect time to get started, but by speaking it into existence and consistently being involved in the hobbies, industries and communities that we love naturally we will become ingrained in them. Don’t wait until you know enough, or you have experienced every single twist and turn in the book…speak about your little experiences, theories you have, things you would like to try and explore and those spoken curiosities will lead you places you never thought possible. Your expertise, however limited, is most likely more than at least one other person who wishes they were in your shoes…how can you help them today and not some imaginary time in the future?
As the year of 2023 comes to a close, we look back on some of the highs and some of the lows as well as takeaways. This episode as always will be a reflection of our year here at the What Is Humans? Podcast, in our personal lives and for what we have accomplished during the podcast as well. Hopefully this will be a good time for you at home to reflect as well while you ring in the new year with loved ones wherever you are.
As we just recently finished with the episode on feedback loops, make sure to continue to look back and reflect on what is working for you and what isn’t. What things are making you happiest and what things are bringing you grief. These will be a north star for you throughout the year of 2024 and ourselves as well.
While we have each other to assess from an outside perspective, it is important to talk to others when reflecting to see if they noticed a change in you or your behavior. This is necessary when looking at feedback, your past year and the things you want to improve upon and change! Make it a great year in 2024 and keep doing the work day in and day out to create the life that you want to live every day. Thanks so much for listening and we will see you in 2024!
It’s the end of the year and whether it is our yearly review with our bosses or Santa who is checking to see if we were naughty or nice it seems like we are always receiving feedback. Feedback in both of these cases is often given without our request and has some consequences associated with it. We have an emotional response built up around feedback cycles, maybe its a pat on the back that leads to a raise or maybe it’s the fear that we have done something wrong, and a weakness in our skillset will be brought to life. Regardless what the feedback is there is a high stakes connotation that surrounds feedback and the faults that we perceive within ourselves.
Exposing weaknesses and bringing them into the light feels like one of the most vulnerable things that we can do. Allowing others to judge our performance from superiors to peers to people that rely on us is terrifying…or is it? When we receive feedback infrequently we put undue pressure on ourselves because it feels like the stakes are higher than they are. If we only do promotions once a year then you’re damn right your yearly review is going to be an important one. On the other hand if we constantly ask for feedback we begin to flex that muscle, and become immune to some of the fear of vulnerability.
By asking for feedback consistently we aren’t hiding behind things we already know rather we are putting it out there in the light and asking for help. When we ask for help we not only improve our own performance but we improve the lives of others around us. That means our relationships and lives of our coworkers, customers, family and friends. By hiding behind our vulnerabilities we not only hurt ourselves but we create a less than great version of ourselves for those around us as well. During this year’s feedback session, think about ways that you can work on asking more frequently for feedback throughout the year in order to implement change all year long rather than a nail biting end of the year meeting!
When we have big lofty goals it can be easy to consistently take on more, believing that we are impervious to mortal capacities. It’s interesting and abundantly true that the most important things to becoming a high achiever are still the most basic ones. Getting enough sleep, eating right and carving out time for rest and relaxation become monumental in achieving what you have set out to. Personal insecurities can inhibit us from communicating what is most important to us to those around us…like people we work with, people we work for, and people that we live with.
We have an ability to hold things in to create the illusion that we are “ok” when in reality the only way to maintain peace as we take on more is to ask for help and create healthy boundaries around us. Growth seems like the only meaningful thing when we are forecasting the next day, but don’t discount time for sleep, rest and the small things that keep us functioning as healthy human beings. We can push ourselves to the edge without assuming that is what others around us need or want instead of admitting that we aren’t mindless robots…we have to have our basic needs met before we can reach for the stars.
Protect your inner peace and recognize that is what is most important to helping those around you. There will be times when our opportunity cost sways…but if we don’t communicate what we need we can become balls of anxiety with the weight of the world on our shoulders that grows and grows everyday. The minute we let others in and accept some time and responsibility for our own peace is the minute that weight gets a little lighter. Think about what you need this week, as we embark on the holiday season, one where often times the last person we are thinking about is ourselves.
Prosperity can be a poison. Typically when we are prospering this is seen as a good thing most of the time, and I would agree that most of the time this is a benefit to us. On the other hand though too much prosperity can cause us to lose sight of the bigger picture and pick and prod at smaller more insignificant issues just because we can. We can become bogged down in issues that take away from our life’s purpose when we aren’t forced to focus on being the best versions of ourselves that we can be. We can become thrown off track so easily when we allow small inconveniences the energy to take over our lives and deter from the main objective.
I think we have all been victim to small things throwing off our day whether that be traffic or stubbing our toe. The difference between a person at peace is understanding that those isolated instances are just that isolated instances. If we can control our thoughts and emotions we can quickly regain focus and recognize how insignificant those moments are instead of letting them ruin the rest of our day. In the same vein it can be easy for us to try and solve things that are out of our control or not central to our purpose…this in turn takes our energy away and gives it to something like means very little to us.
Complaining has become a habit of evolution. One that is central to the human experience, but often not necessary. The people who don’t complain often are just busy trying to figure out how to solve the problems that mean the most to them and the ones they don’t care about they don’t let bother them. Focus more our your energy on the problems that you seek to solve and the rest will become meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
Excuses are always present and so is doubt. It can be so easy for us to make excuses to try and protect ourselves from rejection or perceived failure. We let our egos come first and convince ourselves that things have to be perfect before we ever start. This inferiority complex acts as a crutch to make sure that if we ever try and fail we can lean on that crutch to hold our egos up. The reality is that we are scared to even start because what happens if we aren’t good at the start or people don’t like what we have to offer the world. The irony lies in the fact that anytime someone starts something they are almost always going to be bad at it.
The things and the people that we aspire to be are just like us except at some point they actually decided to just start. The minute that we understand that we have to first step into the arena and put our internal doubts aside is the first step towards any semblance of success. At the beginning we won’t be any good but by showing up day in and day out we begin to get better slowly becoming less afraid of what others might think. Having the courage to be bad and sometimes even disliked is the only way we can overcome the inferiority complex.
By being vulnerable and opening ourselves up to feedback and criticism and putting our thoughts and ideas out into the world we are taking the first step towards success. Our inferiority complex can feel personal and emotional like we are being attacked, but most of the time it’s all in our heads. You have all the tools available to you to be successful, but most often times we are the ones that are holding ourselves back.
As we attempt to learn something new there is a learning curve that exists. I’m not sure where the term originated, but over time it has become an established saying that refers to the amount of time that it takes to become knowledgeable or apt with a topic or new skill. As we go through life this learning curve can become more daunting and scary to us. When we are kids learning is everywhere and often times we meet it head on, but as we get older we let society and external forces dictate our idea of the learning curve and what it will take to achieve success.
Today, we discuss our own lives and some of the frustrations that have come with taking on new tasks and challenges. There lies a want and need to be able to figure things out much quicker than we normally think they should take. We underestimate what it will take to achieve something in the short term and we overestimate what we can achieve over a long period of time. These ideas aren’t new or novel, but if we can begin to analyze and notice the struggles and the why behind the learning curve it can make it a little more tolerable while we are in it, until we embark on the next learning curve.
As we assess where we are at in our learning journey it can become easier to cope with our position if we remember why we started in the first place. The why behind our starting point is often forgotten in the day to day operations of a big goal or dream. Try to zoom out and look at the big picture when things are looking insurmountable. The learning curve is only daunting until you come out on the other side and become a master. Then it starts all over again. Happy Holidays!
There are different states of work, most normally in society we think of hard work as one that leaves us exhausted and dreading the next day. Hard work can be rewarding don’t get us wrong, that satisfying feeling of kicking up your feet after a long day’s work is one of the greatest feelings in the world. What if there was a way however to get the same satisfaction out of the work itself. Rather than being relieved the work is done, we are excited for the next day and almost lose track of ourselves and time throughout. This type of work is one that Steven Pressfield and Ryan Holiday spoke about on the Daily Stoic podcast and it was one that we felt was worth speaking on ourselves.
How do we get into the groove, find our flow state, especially when we have pretty much been told our entire lives that work in and of itself shouldn’t be fun. Now not every day is going to be fun, but finding that necessity that drive towards work feels like something worth craving in life. Always dreading something that we do for a long portion of our lives feels like a sad way to live. Even if you choose something you deem as the thing you were meant to do, the beginning will definitely be a challenge as you find your footing and fail constantly before you can become good! Can you stick with that thing consistently to find a place of contentment and restful work?
If we can feed our curiosity and we allow ourselves consistency, it feels like there is an opportunity for us to find this magical restful work. This isn’t an easy place to get to, or certainly everyone would be craving work almost as nourishment as opposed to escaping every night. By riding out the waves in the beginning and finding what feeds our soul we can begin to do deep work that no longer feeds our ego.
“Memento Mori” or remember you must die in Latin is a pretty terrifying saying, but an important one. Stoicism, a ideology that stems from Ancient Greek and Roman philosophers often used the idea of death as a reminder of their mortality. This while seemingly depressing can often be a motivator to recognize that time in and of itself is not abundant but rather limited. What feels like something that we will always have more of is truly the only thing we want to get back at the end of the day.
Whether we have big audacious goals or what to just live a more abundant life it can be a good practice to think about death more often than not. This can help us decide on a micro and a macro level what is most important to us. In the grand scheme of things is it worth it to be angry in traffic, or cry over spilled milk surely not, but go after your dreams…of course it is. It can be equally detrimental however to let the pressure of time weigh us down.
It can be easy to lose track of time. Days and weeks go by in the blink of an eye while months turn into years. Don’t be worried though because as long as that time was well spent then it was worth it. Here is the key. Think about death a little more each day to help remind you what is truly important in life. Memento Mori.
This seems like a pretty definitive statement, but a contradictory one. If you are confident, how can you be humble at the same time? Most often we hear these words thrown around when someone achieves something great and they acknowledge all the hard work of their teammates, coworkers and others to make that greatness become possible. That level of humility can be difficult to attain though as you achieve greatness and the praise starts rolling in. Truly confident people know though that it took months and years of failures to put them in the very position that they are in right now.
That vicious cycle is what it means to be confident and humble simultaneously. Recognizing that you can get through anything comes from consistently being humbled. Trying new things and learning from others that have much more experience than you is a difficult habit but a necessary one. Our insecurities often hold us back from being vulnerable and putting ourselves out there, so in many ways we like to put up a facade of confidence that protects us from ever being humbled. In many ways it’s like never even getting in the ring at all, purely watching and judging from the outside looking in.
We all have moments where we feel confident, and it comes from experience. At one point in our lives we couldn’t speak, or walk but now we consider ourselves in many ways experts. Whether we knew it or not it took many moments of humbling falls and stutters to create the confident individuals that we are today. Don’t forget that you have to be humbled in order to be confident.
Risk is relative to the person who is taking the risk, regardless what the task at hand is. The same task to one person may be severely riskier to one person than the other. We would be terrified to drop into a skatepark if you asked us to do it today, but for a seasoned skater that would be nothing to them. We often think of our heroes as these gods that laugh in the face of challenge or risk, but in reality they are humans just like us. We let the fear of risk stop us from doing something that someone else took a shot at just a little bit earlier. Our heroes have just done it a lot longer than we have. So at this point the same task that we are terrified of even attempting has become old hat to them, solely because they did it!
The idea that came into mind for us was really this idea that as children we have this reckless abandon that allows us to approach things without a care in the world. We aren’t scared of what our peers think let alone others. It isn’t until the age of 7 that we become self aware and for the most part our parents or other role models almost force us into extracurriculars to allow us to push ourselves everyday and take risks, like making friends or learning a new skill. As we do that more and more we become better at it and then we want to do it for ourselves.
As adults now we no longer have our parents there to tell us what to do or how to continue to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones. If we can take the emotion out of the actions that we have to take, the risk and fear of failure slowly dissipates. At one time your heroes and the people that we look up to were just like you, the only difference is that they put fear aside and took the risk over and over and over again! Risk is Relative!
Everyone has their own perception of the world, but very few share others perspectives. Oftentimes we go about our lives only living in our own perceptions and through struggle attempt to bring others into our perception of it. As we have spoken about often on this podcast it is extremely difficult, arguably impossible, to force anyone to think a certain way without allowing them to draw their own conclusions. A more productive method is seeking to gain others perspective.
Perspectives can be found within ourselves in what we believe and also in others. Both ways need to be found through reflecting and being curious as to why something is. By reflecting on our thoughts, actions, and behaviors, we can begin to understand our own perspective. Additionally and more important than our own, we can reflect and ask questions to begin to understand another's. By seeking this understanding of another we can create more productive relationships in all facets of life
Getting out of our perception is a difficult task in our fast paced highly addictive lives. It is only through disconnecting, pausing, and reflecting we can begin to ask those deeper questions. Deeper questions seeking to understand others point of view and also for our own purpose. As you listen this week, remember to find ways to bring more presence in your own life. From this stillness you truly are available to gain more perspective.
Problems exist everywhere. They appear on a micro scale in our own personal lives and they exist at a macro scale affecting millions globally and then there’s all the problems that exist in between. Problems are obstacles or hurdles that appear outside of the preconceived plan that we had within our heads for the way we think things should go. You forgot to pack your lunch today, an email got lost in the shuffle and now you are behind on a project, or the economy isn’t doing too hot, all of these problems weren’t in the plans. As unique as your problems may seem to you, we can remain isolated if we continue to believe that these problems are unsolvable only by us. Civilization has existed for centuries, and now more than ever we have the resources to recognize that these problems come and go and most likely someone has felt the same exact way that I am feeling right now.
By accepting that the problem exists in your life and you are not alone we can then begin to dissect the problem and recognize that the problem might be more of an opportunity after all. By seeking out problems in our daily lives, and working to assess and tackle them we then prepare ourselves and others that undoubtedly will come across the same exact problems. We can be a help to others by offering up solutions to their problems and understanding in the process we are challenging ourselves and growing along the way as well.
Our immediate reaction as humans is to run away from our problems because they are uncomfortable. We bury them or put them off as long as possible until they inevitably show up at our front door. What if we sought out problems…what if we actively assessed our own lives and did our best to see where we could help others and ourselves. Don’t be nosy, but the ability to problem solve and recognize where you can be of best service to those around us is what ultimately gives us worth and confidence. Reframe problems within our minds as these nightmares to run away from and start observing and taking little steps to solving them…because everyone will be better off.
“Sharing is caring,” at least that’s what we have heard our whole lives. This is one of the first things we hear as young children…whether we are playing at school or with our siblings, sharing is one of the first lessons we learn in childhood. Typically this starts with sharing toys, but as we grow older that thing we share changes. We can share our opinion, we can share our time, or we can just share our stories. Whether we are receiving or the shared item or we are the one that is doing the sharing there seems to be an equal exchange. You feel better because you shared your experience with someone else and they feel better because they have grown closer to you through listening and understanding.
Throughout history sharing of stories, lessons and experiences is at the center of our interactions as human beings. It is what has lasted thousands of years, and what will continue to last thousands of years into the future. The only deterrent from sharing is the opposite, not sharing. In a time where we have more access than ever to sharing our messages, feelings and experiences, some of us still go through life without letting the world in on our stories. We all have something to say regardless of success or how interesting we are because the point is you are unique and only you know your own story.
By sharing we can help others in the future, maybe avoid some of the mistakes we made, or we can help others understand us a little better right now in the present. The moment that we shut down and stop this exchange halts any progress that can possibly be made. On the other side we must listen and learn from those around us, because whether we like it or not they are the ones that are here with us now, and will make us better. Continue to share your stories, experiences and feelings because you always have something to share whether you believe it or not.
The smartest person in the room is rarely the most fulfilled. That’s because our perception of how intelligent we are is based upon the belief that we know more than the others around us. On the contrary the most successful person in the room always believes there is more to learn especially from the people that they surround themselves with. Today we discuss the importance curiosity plays in personal fulfillment. That hunger and desire to dive deeper is a key factor in determining what our passions are, but also the longevity of those passions. The best performers in the world are constantly learning, tweaking and reworking what they believe they already know in pursuit of something greater.
Asking questions and putting yourself out there can feel like a vulnerable state to exist in, but that is where learning occurs. Oftentimes just like in school we all have the same question, but we are too afraid to ask for fear of looking less than others. In fact as we grow older it seems respect is gained by seeking out more and more information to come to the right conclusions almost stating outright that you are not as advanced as others. This level of humility is what allows the most successful individuals to recognize their dreams and then go after them! If we assumed we knew it all from the start there would be no point to pursuing something we already know, or maybe we believe we are so far behind others we think it couldn’t even be worth trying.
We would argue that your curiosity is what keeps your soul and passions thriving. The endless possibilities of the world are the reason to keep going day in and day out. If our motivation was solely based on money and societal norms there would be no internal desire to get better and grow organically. Just the promise of a bigger paycheck or respect from your colleagues will always leave us with a gaping hole in our pursuit for happiness. Choose a life of curiosity because it will always yield new discoveries.
A month ago we talked about what it takes to do good work. Paul Graham released a series of essays which talked about the three things necessary to do good work, well as it turned out he also talked about what it takes to become a genius as well. This was called the bus collection theory of geniuses. He mentions that determination and ability are necessary to become a genius but one third step is obsession. The reason he talks about bus ticket collectors among other things is their obsession with collecting tickets for nothing other than pure joy.
They didn’t collect the tickets because there was a monetary value associated, or status but rather a genuine interest in the tickets which then built the ability and cultivated determination. You don’t need determination or ability as much when you have obsession, because obsession drives you to do something regardless of the other two. He references people like JRR Tolkien, the author of the Lord of the Rings books, as well as Darwin and his study of evolution on the Galapagos Islands. Each of these individuals were able to become geniuses in their fields and reap the rewards of their obsession with obscure things. They also remained irresponsible throughout their pursuit. They were willing to look like fools whilst nobody understood their elvish language or fascination with the lizards of foreign places.
Your curiosity has no guarantee of success, but it does have a guarantee of fulfillment. If you are constantly having to hype yourself with activities, relationships or work then the thought of sustainability seems impossible. Obsession on the other hand drives us regardless of how motivated or determined we are and especially outworking those with potentially more ability than us. Think about the obsessions that you have within your own life and how you can make them more of a guiding light for your own genius.
Admiration and aspiration are two very different things, but it can be easy to get them confused. Admiring someone means that you appreciate the success that they have had in a personal or professional setting. Aspiration on the other hand means what exactly you are trying to become. As children and as adults we often admire individuals, and believe that we want to be just like them. These people could be pro athletes, celebrities or musicians. We see the success and attention that they receive and we immediately believe that we want to be just like them. In reality though are we willing to put in the years of training and development of their craft in order to become them? Our guess would be no.
Aspiration on the other hand refers to what you aspire to become. Surely you can admire someone, however their journey is not your journey. You have to find what you are passionate about and willing to do regardless of the secondary consequences like money, status, or fame. Only at this point will we be able to identify our calling. If we start with the “why” behind our actions we can clearly see what we do because of a need, and what we do because we truly believe in it and have fun. When you come home, after a long day of work, is there a passion or hobby you partake in just because you love it? Or if you do exactly what you love, do you read books after work about your industry because of your love for it?
Admiration isn’t a bad thing in the slightest. It’s normal to admire someone for the courage and consistency it takes to achieve something. Before we idolize the person or role we admire, look towards the daily actions of that person and what it took to get to where they are now. Most of those people would say if they lost everything they would do it all over again, because they simply loved it that much. Aspire to love what you do day in and day out regardless of the consequences, as opposed to aspiring to become someone because of external rewards, like money or fame which can leave us hollow and broken later.
We can go through life recklessly moving about day to day inefficiently bulldozing our way through obstacles in our way ultimately making it to our final destination battered and bruised or we can make things work for us. Our conversation today centers around structure being essential to our everyday lives. We create systems and tools to make our lives more efficient, but even that can be exhausting to even think about getting into place. It’s easy to sit back and kick our feet up after a hard day’s work without any desire to look back on or improve on our systems that we currently have in place. Nobody would blame you, you’re tired, you worked hard, we get it, but it could make your life a whole lot easier if you took the time today to save yourself one more headache tomorrow.
We know that small things compound over time. Wasted hours here, wasted energy there, a few dollars down the drain every month. What's the harm? Well over time there’s a substantial amount of harm. Life is hard enough as it is. That's why in technology and biology we adapt to the world around us to become more efficient in our everyday functions. For example, our blood cells have a hole in the middle of them to help oxygen flow through them more quickly. In user interface and design engineers study for years on the best and most practical and efficient models to be as aerodynamic and user friendly as possible. We don’t need to spend years working and refining our systems, but rather let’s just begin.
Whether we know it or not, we all have some structure that gets us through the day regardless of how loose that structure is. The point is we could be functioning at a much higher level if we implement structure and systems that allow us even on our worst days to perform at an optimal level. From putting your shoes out in the morning, to meal prepping there are a ton of systems and structures to help each and every one of us get better. It will take trial and error to find our what works for you, but the point is there is some system that you are already using, you might as well find the one that works to your advantage.
Sometimes when things are going wrong it feels like everything is going wrong. Murphy’s law takes over and it can feel like our world is crashing down around us before our eyes. Routines, relationships, or activities that occupied much of our time and mental, physical and emotional capacity can disappear in a moment’s notice leaving us to pick up the pieces. It’s easy in moments like these to dwell in hardship, unable to see the silver lining that our friends and families try to tell us will be on the other side of tough times. The ability to see the silver lining or the learning moment in the face of adversity, can often be the moment that we recognize that all the “bad” things that were happening around us ultimately were setting us up for the next steps in our lives.
Think back to your teen years, things like making the varsity team, the prom and other can’t miss moments feel like the end all be all of your existence. Now as an adult they probably don’t pass your mind all that often. Sure they are memories that will live with you forever, but relative to your experience now you recognize how insignificant some of those moments are now in the grand plan of it all. Our understanding of the world is fragile, it’s hard to understand and take in how small our problems are in regards to our existence at the moment. We overreact, get frustrated, and lash out when things don’t go our way. The thing that we constantly forget is that we are strong individuals, capable of adapting and overcoming adversity with the best of them. Think back to times when things didn’t go your way, sure you were sad in the moment, but ultimately you recovered and forged a new route that probably led you in a different and more fulfilling direction in anyways.
It’s hard in real time to see the bigger picture, but throughout this episode we are looking for ways to understand that when things feel like they are falling apart in reality they are often falling into place for us. Tough battles and tests challenge us and make us resourceful. Recognize hardship as an opportunity and not as a condemnation from the gods. In most cases the reason that whatever happened happened because it wasn’t meant for you and that is ok, but the one thing that isn’t ok is staying there. Take a deep breath assess where you’re at and what your next move is going to be, we’ll bet it’s going to be even better than where you were at.
“The mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.” This quote perfectly encapsulates the necessity of mystery in our lives. Naturally we are trying to figure out the next step or the right path forward, one that is secure and safe and yields the most known result. This obviously isn’t incorrect, if anything this appears to be the most logical approach to life. Why would anyone do anything that they are unsure of what they are getting into in the first place? Mystery creates life, certainty creates death. Death of spontaneity, death of creativity, and ultimately death of a childlike wonder that lives inside of us. In order to create life we must push ourselves into the unknown so that we can live more fully.
The story of our lives is an exciting one, filled with mystery and adventure. Maybe you feel at home like my life isn’t that remarkable, surely you can’t be talking about me…The truth is we all have been given the gift of life and thus the gift of mystery and wonder as well. We have made decisions up to this point and already weaved a beautiful story. The most important part of this topic is to understand that whatever mystery you are telling, we have the ability to affect it.
If you feel like life is mundane and boring at times, you can do something out of the ordinary and rewrite the script. If the last few chapters have seemed like you have been knocked down time and time again, that’s just the beginning of what will be an epic comeback! No matter what we do there is uncertainty, rather than look at that uncertainty as something terrifying, rather seize the opportunity to make it what you want.
So often in the news we read something shocking from a corporate juggernaut and just like a Hollywood film we all hold our breaths to see what the corporation will say in response. Sometimes a CEO acts out brashly and responds right away with no consultation, sometimes we hear no response leaving us all wondering whether they even care in the first place, and then sometimes a corporation responds just right. This is called a Public Relations Crisis, something that has its own name and industry in fact, because it is that important to most big name corporations. Experts have studied and acted on years of research to determine what exactly is the perfect strategy, and yet we rarely if ever take their advice in a personal crisis.
Throughout our days inevitably we will have things come up that don’t go exactly according to plan, that’s what makes life interesting right…Well most of the time when we are knocked off track we can become emotional, angry, frustrated or just pissed. Naturally as human beings we look for ways to get the problem out of our control, blame traffic, our alarm clock not going off, or maybe a boss that isn’t giving us the opportunities to excel. This is all perfectly natural to feel after something goes awry, but remember that internal dialogue spinning in your head amidst crisis is training and creating patterns. Those patterns sense trouble and recognize our negative and passive response. Next time something bad happens our brains naturally will create that connection again, rewiring us to believe that this is the correct response to crisis no matter how big or small.
Just like a Big Fortune 500 corporation it is equally important to consult with your team before responding emotionally. Take the time to address the situation and see where you are at, respond quickly and think about next steps and how you can be a part of the solution or what you are doing to rectify the situation. The same way those corporations think about crises, so should you. By training our minds to take emotion out of the equation and rather lead with logic, we can more quickly become problem solvers. As we begin to practice responding to adversity with the precision and excellence of a whole industry behind us, small inconveniences no longer feel like the world is crashing down on us but rather like a drop of rain. Practice controlling the narrative within your mind and you will begin to see how big problems soon become small opportunities instead.
We are always trying to create within our lives whether we know it or not. Creating opportunities for ourselves or our loved ones through work, creating memories with friends and family, and of course creating the lives that we have always dreamed of. Now when we put it in those terms it can seem unbelievably daunting to try and undertake. Creating something from nothing is unbelievably difficult, just ask a magician or a successful entrepreneur. Discovery on the other hand feels like a path we have all been down before. Learning about new things in school or at work, learning about the world and how it operates, and of course always learning more and more about ourselves. While these two ideas seem miles apart from each other, the sweet spot is actually a place where the two meet. If we can find a place where we no longer remember whether we created something or rather discovered it we are probably on the right path.
Creating your dream life is difficult, to say the least, but creating circumstances that allow you to discover your dream life seems possible even on a micro level. By creating circumstances that force us out of our comfort zones we can then begin to discover more things about ourselves and the world around us and what we want from it. By creating an environment for learning we are able to discover what makes ourselves tick and truly get up and go in the morning. Discovery only comes when we are searching for meaning and fulfillment in our endeavors.
Create circumstances in your life that you can look back on and forget whether you created them or you discovered them. Learning more about ourselves is what makes us better for people around us. Never stop trying to create chances and moments to discover what you were meant to do in this world, because the moment you stop trying to create those moments you lose sight of discovering who you truly are.
In this week’s episode we talk about a new thought that comes off the back of themes that we have discussed many times over like finding fulfillment and following your curiosity. The initial idea for this conversation came from an essay titled, “How To Do Great Work” by Paul Graham. It should be noted that Paul Graham is an amazing computer scientist, most famous for his work on Lisp, Viaweb which later became Yahoo Store, and then startup accelerator and seed capital firm Y combinator. First off, the title of the essay itself, “How To Do Great Work,” caught our eye. Something that is so simple such as doing great work seemingly has an enormous amount of depth and layers to achieve.
In order to do great work, you have to first and foremost find something you have a natural aptitude for, something that you are interested in, and finally a field that has room for expansion. The first two are hard enough to check the box on, but in order to know if a field has room for expansion, you have to go to the edge of that field of knowledge. As you dive deeper into the field that you are interested in you will then discover what once looked like the edge of what we know, has new and undiscovered opportunities for you to uncover. These are the gaps that lie all around us that are just waiting to be exposed.
Most people rarely ever find out a way to figure out how to find what fulfills them and in turn how they could possibly churn out good work over a lifetime. You can clearly be good at something, but not love it and the same goes for the opposite, you can have an interest in something, but ultimately just not be that great at it. This episode is all about finding that sweet spot and noticing the gaps that you uniquely fit in. Don’t settle for anything other than greatness!
We consistently go through changes, specifically in our identities. We change jobs, relationships and roles. We mean different things to different people all the while trying to figure out who we are to ourselves. When these changes happen and new habits and ideas are formed it can take up to two years before our psychological self realizes this. Even though other aspects of our life have changed there is no denying that it takes time for other parts of our mind and emotions to catch up. We continue to grapple as do others with the new journeys that we embark on which can lead to some very tricky circumstances.
Have you ever found that your interests, or what you found important was changing and you became conflicted? Well it turns out that is natural, we are all on different progressions throughout our lives, but it's uncomfortable when or how they come about. As we start to do these new things we pine for past activities and relationships that gave us stability and meaning. It may not set in until years later that you have truly changed despite having to mentally or emotionally convince yourself. Your setting and your circumstances have changed, but “you” haven’t.
We have to allow ourselves grace throughout this journey as we recognize the new ways that we find joy and fulfillment. Coming to grips with this can be traumatic for those around us and ourselves, therefore the worst thing we can do is try and blame our changing identities on anyone. It isn’t our friend's faults or our faults. Residual effects from our change in identity is hard to understand and hard to calculate when it will come about, but just try and understand that what grounded you and gave you emotional support for so long is changing now, and that takes time to understand.
“Pressure is a privilege,” was a quote that was said by Billie Jean King. She was one of the greatest female tennis players of the 20th century. Today we discuss this idea that she built much of her career on. The idea that pressure is a gift that only those who earn it can receive is contradictory to much of the human experience. We spend most of our time trying to avoid pressure, stress and deadlines. A popular phrase is the feeling of being, “stressed out.” Stressing out to the point of worry or exhaustion feels like an altogether different feeling than what Billie was referring to.
Pressure in this instance refers to channeling stress in a healthy way to sharpen our own skills and life. Without pressure we can become lackluster and soft, with no motives or incentives placed in front of us why would we do anything at all. Today we will discuss the ways that we can take the opportunity to apply more pressure in our daily lives in order to earn that privilege.
The game winning shot isn’t just given to anyone…it is earned. Whether the shot goes in or out you have to earn the position to take the shot. Going after a big dream or goal is daunting, but you have to earn your seat at the table. Pressure is inevitable especially as we rise up the ranks in our careers, hobbies and daily lives. We can either embrace the challenge and welcome the opportunity to take the game winning shot, or we can shy away from it, allowing others to hold our fate in their hands while we look on. Challenge yourself to welcome the pressure into your life, you are more than capable of handling it.
Pain and suffering are always present, we have talked about that many times before, the difference is how we approach it. We have to make thousands of decisions a day and each of them have some form of “i don’t want to do that”. As a conscious individual it is imperative that we recognize when these feelings come to fruition and what we do about them. We have the option to ignore the fear, and pain that comes with making hard decisions or we can embrace them. Attacking the hardest parts of the day is the key to moving past the fear of pain and hardship.
The minute we can wrap our minds around the fact that things are going to be difficult day in and day out, we can accept what the course of action looks like. The more that we ignore that course of action the more it hangs over our heads. It’s like waiting until the last minute to do your hardest assignment. All day you would be thinking about how awful that is going to be and dreading it the entire day. The opposite reaction is doing the most difficult thing first with the right mindset and the rest of the day is a cakewalk.
When we can approach our day with the mindset of embrace vs ignore we begin to understand how our mind can dictate the way we feel about objective tasks. We are emotional beings, imperfect by nature, but if we can understand that and attack the hard tasks before they are allowed to fester in our minds, big dreams that seemed insurmountable become much more digestible. From the moment we wake up we have a decision to make…attack attack or retreat…embrace or ignore.
We all have to take a risk at one point or another in our lives. It could be a risk as small as trying a new food, or something as big as going after your dreams. The conversation around risk often goes the same way. It starts and ends with…”what’s your backup plan?” Meaning if you fail, how are you going to hedge your bets in order to be ok. The idea that you would have a backup plan and not go all in on your dreams contradicts everything the very confidence you have in achieving the goals you have. The argument that we are making today around the idea of risk, is that with a world changing so rapidly the greatest risk that you can actually take is to not take any risk at all.
To play it safe, stay the course, and do what has always been done in the past feels like it is the safest route, but it also lacks the most control. Betting on yourself is the one risk that you should be most confident in. When it comes to yourself, there should be no escape or backup plans. The minute that we begin to doubt ourselves is the minute that we have already begun to sabotage ourselves. The act of taking risks and believing in ourselves is one that we can practice daily. Start with something small and work your way up, by the time you go to take that big leap you will be so used to taking risks that it will just seem like another day.
Finally, it’s important to change our mindset around risk in general. Risk inherently in society feels like a taboo word or topic, doing something out of the norm always will be. If betting on yourself and trying new things is normal for you however, that will begin to feel normal. We are more capable that we could ever imagine, now it’s time to believe in it. Take the risk and make a splash, going half in on anything means that is exactly how much you will get out of it…half.
All day swimming around noodling up inside of our noggins are these grandiose ideas. Some of them are big and some of them are small, ideas come in all shapes and sizes, constantly going in and then coming out typically at the worst times. Maybe you do all your best thinking in the shower, or maybe you have the best ideas right as your head hits the pillow. Whenever the lightning strikes, it happens to all of us. There is a surplus of ideas in the world. All over the world every day there are brilliant ideas that are never acted upon, including the ones that live inside your head right now.
Ideas are a necessary part of dreaming big, but if we aren’t careful they can become just that, ideas always wondering what could have been. In today’s episode we discuss some of the hurdles involved in turning ideas into reality. The mind body connection that exists when we jot ideas down is powerful. Taking pen to paper or just typing out your ideas not only can save you from forgetting them, but brings them immediately into the physical world. We can always come back to the ideas once they are written down and decide whether or not we want to do anything with them, but that has to happen before they are forgotten.
Once a line in the sand is drawn, that begins the journey towards action. By speaking about the action you are willing to take, it can take away the fear of what if? Not only what if I actually do something about this, but what if all my friends and peers think I’m crazy? The face of the matter is, all things in life worth doing are a little bit scary, most of the time that’s why they make you sign for it…Next time you have a big idea, put it in writing and get to it. That idea isn’t serving anyone by staying locked up for the rest of eternity.
There is always a trade off. A sacrifice that we make as individuals in order to get one thing for another thing. This is as simple as trading money for goods or services, and as we become adults it turns into trading our time and energy. As kids our parents typically are making decisions for us about where we spend our time, enrolling us in school, and extra-curriculars in hopes that we will be healthy and happy children. We invest time and energy as children and adults in order to secure some sort of long term payoff. Investments like school, sports, music or the arts. It can become easy to forget that when we make these decisions with our time we are always always giving something up in return.
Subconsciously it can be easy to let our time and energy slip away, unaware of where it is going and what we are giving up in return. The more that we can become aware of the tradeoffs in our life the easier it can be to determine what is important and what is not. Some things absolutely are necessary, but we often wait far too long in order to make a stand on what is important to us often before it is too late.
Think about what is the dream or the absolute north star towards which you are pointed. That could be a career you absolutely adore, could be building an amazing family unit with a partner you love, or that could be traveling around the world, but in any event you have to decide what that is to you, and obviously this can change with time. Now that you have decided what is the most important thing to sacrifice for, put that dream directly up against the things that are stealing your time and energy. Hopefully that gives perspective in regards to the pain that you choose to put yourself through.
Stagnation is inevitable. We are creatures of habit. Our routines and habits make us who we are for better or for worse. The same route to work, the same streaming shows after dinner, it is just a fact of life that routine brings us comfort. Sometimes that comfort or that routine can be the enemy though that keeps us from moving forward. It lulls us into thinking we are safe and we are secure, regardless of how true that is. Sometimes what it takes to reinvigorate and shake things up is a little bit of rewiring.
Our brains have the capacity to rewire and adapt to the inputs that we give them. Those pathways are recognizing what is happening in real time. The same way it is imperative to change the way we work out to confuse our muscles, the same thing is happening in our brains. We have to work hard to input new and novel experiences to rewire the way we think in order to grow and create new neurological pathways.
Think about the places in your daily life that you feel complacency or stagnation and how you can break up that pattern of life. This doesn’t mean turning everything on its head and abandoning every thing that gives you comfort but it does mean doing something a little bit different. This shock to the system can break us out of our normal habits and wake us up to new possibilities. The challenges that we choose to embark on today are the same ones that we will ultimately abandon later after conquering them.
“Referees don’t fall in love,” that’s a song that sparked the idea for today’s conversation. This song title got our brains stirring, trying to make sense of what seemed like a seemingly nonsensical sentiment. The title refers to the idea that referees are just that within the game…referees. The ref doesn’t win the game or lose the game, but rather sits by and judges and makes sure that the rules are being abided by. A necessary part of any game, but certainly not what most children dream of becoming. To step onto the court of life it means that you are taking a risk. Taking a risk that you may lose, injure yourself, or embarrass yourself…swing and miss in front of all the onlookers. The upside of getting in the game rather than sitting and judging it is that you also have the opportunity to win.
Getting in the game isn’t a new concept, even for this podcast, but it is one that should be frequently revisited. There is safety in never putting yourself out there. Sure you may not win, but you also will never get hurt. Whether the game for you is relationships, a new and adventurous career move or just trying out a new hobby that you have always wanted to do, there is always a reason worthy of checking out of your own head and into the game.
A life is seldom lived if it is always observed and never acted upon. Within our own lives we can be the referee, upholding the rules, and keeping the peace, or we can get in the game and try and score a few baskets of our own. There will be adversity, you’ll lose some games here and there and it will be awfully hard to suit back up, but the rewards for just playing will be an endless exhibit of what is possible. We all know the importance of putting ourselves out there, and the countless lessons to be learned win or lose, just don’t forget that playing is a lifelong pursuit.
“The fruits of labor”, feels like the saying has been around forever, an easy reminder of what your reward will be for continued hard work. It’s one thing to think about the accolades, the spoils, or the fruits, it is another entirely different story to put in the labor necessary to receive that fruit, and then sometimes even still it doesn’t always work out how you planned it. The important part of work, especially as we are young and impatient, can always seem like the finish line, the glory at the end, but the joy lies in the labor that fills the majority of the time spent working towards the fruit.
It is easy to become jaded about our daily work, it can seem repetitive, even monotonous at times. We often lose sight of the end goal or the reason why our work today matters to the end goal we are trying to achieve. We live in a world of why’s. Why am I doing this? Why does this matter? Why am I here? Work will consume on average about half of your life, the next time you feel work losing it’s meaning make sure you rethink why today’s work is important to achieving something bigger than oneself.
In the grand scheme of thing there will always be a bigger picture no matter how important the minor details may be. A bad day, here and there as well as the general adversity that comes with a life full of worth is a small piece inside an otherwise beautiful picture. It can be hard to see it now, just like a puzzle when you first start. It just looks like little pieces, some easier to see where they fit than others. Without a general idea of the end result on the box it can be nearly impossible where to start. Imagine what that general big picture idea is and get to fitting those puzzle pieces together…you never know it might just be a picture of a bowl of fruit.
Time is one resource that is constantly fleeting. We can’t get more of it, and oftentimes when we finally realize how precious it is, we can feel like it’s already too late. In the present without clear and concise direction it can be hard to know if your time is well spent. Especially when we have little to no direction in our life is it very typical to feel like we are wasting our time and it feels like many others feel the same way. Today we discuss what time well spent is and how we can begin to be more cognisant of the time we have and measure how effective it is.
Rigidity within our schedules can seem like a straightforward and simple answer to keeping us on task in regards to our time, however this isn’t always the case. There is value in taking time off, goofing around, and truly figuring out what you enjoy as well. While there are many metrics that society uses to measure how efficiently we are using our time it is hard to know what we truly learned until after the fact. Some of the biggest failures in our lives can become the greatest learning lessons. The biggest wastes of time to others can turn out to be the turning points in our own stories.
The only way that time is truly wasted is when we aren’t growing in one way or another. Approach your experiences with grace and on your own terms, because your experiences are exactly that YOUR experiences and you have unique takeaways from them. Consistently measure if the suffering that you are putting yourself through is teaching you something or if it is just driving you further to burnout. Time is always well spent when you are learning…about something, someone or more importantly about yourself.
“Go with the flow” typically a compliment to describe people that are able to roll with the punches. In this specific episode we observe the external and internal factors that contribute to our ability to be easily swayed in one direction or the other. Our friends and family often can be big influences on our lives, that convince us in one way or another what is the right path. The media we consume like social apps, books and podcasts can also convince us of what is the right or wrong thing to do. Then there is the internal battle that exists inside of our mental and emotional states. Am I doing the right thing? Am I studying the right thing? Am I living my life the right way? A lot of times we can feel like we are floating and swaying with the tide, rarely ever staunchly planted in one place or the other.
This swaying can be exhausting mentally and emotionally. With no north star that is able to guide our own personal agency we can feel aimless and even lost. Friends and family aren’t bad or wrong, but they certainly aren’t you! There’s only one life and it is yours first and nobody else’s. Your time, energy and mental space are resources that can’t afford to be swayed every time your friends, family or society tells you otherwise. Most people including ourselves are subject to countless influences in our lives, however it is our responsibility to decide what we value and to take action based on those values.
The safety and camaraderie that comes with doing what everyone else is doing can be incredibly comforting. We are constantly seeking out that comfort first and foremost, but once that is satisfied it is our responsibility and duty to live a life that we are more than proud of. Taking risks outside of the norm, is what makes our lives unique and exciting, truly our own. By knowing what our values and goals are and the correct actions to take in order to achieve said goals can make it easier to not be swayed and pulled in different directions. Plant your values firmly in the ground and that stability will allow you to guide your actions and follow them more closely.
It can be so easy to put our heads down and follow the path that we and society has laid out for ourselves. Go to school, get good grades and find a stable job to stay comfortable. While that is certainly what we have done, today we discuss the possibility of trying out new and maybe more adventurous experiences in lieu of climbing the corporate ladder. We recount another conversation that Wired magazine founder Kevin Kelly spoke about on the Rich Roll podcast earlier this week. One in which his own experience bouncing back and forth between China in his 20’s gave him a unique and one of a kind outlook on life that became the backbone for his career success later on. Rather than work to be the best in a group of many, Kelly argues it may be more valuable to be the only!
The “only” implies your unique experience, based off of the path that you have forged. This doesn’t always mean going to China back and forth for ten years, it’s totally based on what excites you and makes you curious, but it does mean actually having those unique experiences. Taking the trip, doing the hike, committing to learning a new and emerging technology. By forging a path into somewhere or something that you and most others may not be familiar with you become more of an asset later on. There will be resistance, when you go against the grain, but this is truly a selfish endeavor, one in which you would like to learn more about yourself and other cultures, activities, or technologies.
A lot of times we can fall into the trap of believing that these activities need some perfect timing, or perfect budget, but the truth most of the time is that part is pretty easy. What can truly hold you back is the mindset that others may judge you for doing something different or you are going out of the order of what the majority of others have chosen to do. It’s hard to say whether Kevin’s experiences are the sole reason for his success, but nonetheless his optimistic outlook from adventuring into the unknown brought him an invaluable perspective. The optimists that embrace a new and ever evolving world will be the ones that have the courage to take chances and seize the moments of new frontiers in the future.
Give yourself some credit. Whether we are going into a year end review, getting ready for a first date, or comparing ourselves against our peers everyone knows the feeling of self doubt. You’re nervous, every insecurity you can think of is making its way to the top of your brain. Am I smart enough? Will this person like me? The list goes on and on and is different for every person, but also very much the same. When we take on a new and exciting but scary endeavor where we feel like we are maybe a little out of our depth we tend to feel like we aren’t enough. Selling ourselves short and discounting all the hard work that we do on a daily basis to get where we are today.
Our insecurities can sometimes come at a cost, and force us so inside of our own heads that we aren’t able to be our true selves. It’s like avoiding a weakness and hoping that your boss doesn’t bring it up instead of just asking for help or working extra to get better at it. That avoidance maneuver is such a common feeling, but so rarely viewed as an opportunity and more as a crutch. As long as we are doing the things within our control like working hard, making good decisions and having the best intentions we have all the right in the world to give ourselves some credit!
Now, those vulnerabilities that we mention that shout in the back of our minds that “we aren’t good enough.” The best thing to do is set out an action plan. The reason you give yourself credit is because you have put in time and effort and that is worthy of a pat on the back. All you have to do is put some extra time and effort into those things you are nervous about. Maybe it’s public speaking, or working with a certain software at work, or even taking better care of ourselves. Just put a little plan in place to work at it and given the time and effort that weakness you dreaded coming to light will now become a source of inspiration allowing you to be more confident than before.
“When you don’t know what port you’re sailing to, no wind is favorable.” In life things move so fast it can get easy to make life decisions without thinking about them. Maybe not thinking is a little harsh but using determining factors that are outside of your core values. Maybe a certain career path offers money or stability, maybe everyone does this so it seems like what’s right. If you don’t stop and take the time to determine and chart out the direction you want to go in it can be extremely easy to fall into a trap that you didn’t even know you were falling into.
Whether you’re getting out of school, comparing yourself to peers who are getting promotions or getting married it can be hard to stay true to the life plan that you have in mind for yourself. The real question is though, how can you compare yourself to someone that is on a completely different journey than you. Just because you went to the same highschool or grew up somewhere together doesn’t mean you’re destined for the same outcomes.
You have agency in your life, more than anyone else. The ship that is your life if there for you to captain. Now that may take time and effort to understand where it is you want to go, but don’t you at least owe it to yourself to try before you look to the safest option that seemingly everyone else determined was the smart decision as well.
Off the back of our last week’s episode on decision making we are working on pumping the brakes a little and loosening the grip on life. As we get older, responsibilities become greater and decisions in return can feel much heavier. Am I doing the right thing? Am I with the right person? Am I in the right career? All of these questions are valid and nonetheless big questions that can dictate a large part of our lives, but if these decisions on a daily basis become so heavy we can’t decide at all they can create paralysis in our daily lives.
The most successful athletes are loose in pressure situations, unafraid if the shot goes in or if they strike out. There’s a million shots a player will take in their career and thousands of at bats, unless you are too in your head and too tense when you come to the plate. This can weigh on your mind like a heavy weight and cause you to act completely differently than you normally would if there was no pressure at all. The ability to remain loose and quickly make decisions on the fly, allows us to be our most authentic self. That most authentic self is typically the person that is unafraid of the consequences of our decisions, but understands that regardless they are going to be ok.
This week, practice loosening up and worrying less. Not every decision is life altering and it shouldn’t be. If there is something that is looming, try and consider what would happen if that job was lost or if you had to start all over. Could you do it? Would you be ok? I’m sure you would. Don’t be plagued by worrying, you are flexible and adaptable to the world around you, so don’t get stuck in the one that we create in our own minds.
As we get older we begin to mature and things around us start to change. It’s hard to explain, but decisions have more consequences and things become heavier than they ever were as a child. It can often feel like the freedom we gain as an adult can be both a blessing and a curse. Some things are easier to decide, while others are more difficult and harder. As you grow older in life, there feels a caving pressure that your decisions have an impact that could last a lifetime.
While this can be true, it feels like a lot of that pressure that we feel as we grow older can come down to our ability to make decisions. The way that we make small and big decisions can help put our mind at rest as situations become more and more complex and heavy. It’s easy to compare to people around us as we get older, but when we become more self assured in our own decisions, character and purpose a lot of that pressure goes away.
Think about your ability to make decisions, and how that could help lessen some of the weight that comes with growing up. If we can put a purpose and a why behind the decisions we make and then follow through on it in some capacity, that can alleviate the feeling that every decision is a massive one.
Do you mean it? As a kid and even as an adult that was always something we would ask someone when they apologized. If they meant they were sorry, then there felt like there could be some forgiveness and life could move on. As adults what tends to happen is we catch ourselves apologizing more and more, this time not because we hit someone on the playground, but because we feel insecure or inadequate. At one point or another in our lives we have all went into a conversation with I’m sorry on the tip of our tongues. This isn’t abnormal, but it could become a problem especially if we are apologizing for the way we feel, or for a valid request. We begin to signal to ourselves that we are less than or not equal to the party we are speaking with and in order to please them, we should immediately apologize regardless of the request.
Taking the time to analyze the importance of where the insecurity and fear is coming from can be an important step to actualizing our feelings and questions. Take the time to recognize if we are apologizing, because we internally truly feel guilty for an action or behavior or if the apology is prompted because we believe that it will somehow put us in the good graces of an external force. If you notice that before you have even opened your mouth you are already filling in conversation with “I’m sorry,” slow down for a second and catch your breath. You are correct in your feelings, questions, and concerns. The only reason you should apologize is if you truly mean it.
Your words have meaning, and the minute that we begin throwing I’m sorry around willy nilly it can dilute the value of asking for forgiveness. As the receiver or apologies it’s important to look at yourself as well and the environment in which others feel they need to apologize around you. Let them know, early and often that they are an important individual with unique feelings and needs, and they shouldn’t immediately look to apologize when they have done nothing wrong. By creating meaning in our words and our environments, we can feel safe, that our needs and concerns are valid and nothing to apologize for.
Fear can be the biggest inhibitor to starting. Insecurities within ourselves often act as the biggest obstacle and reminder to why we can’t do something. Going for the promotion, striking out on your own, all of these goals and aspirations can be silenced by a little voice inside our head telling us that we aren’t good enough. In reality, only you are thinking that about yourself, and every other single person is thinking the exact same thing about themselves. There are people out there with way less ability and experience that have just practiced being delusionally confident and we haven’t yet. Being delusionally confident doesn’t mean being cocky or acting like you know more than someone else, but rather silencing the doubt inside of yourself that tries to bring you down to some place less than reality.
The person that you idolize or look up to was once just like you. Just as young, or inexperienced and scared that they shouldn’t reach out, shouldn’t take the job etc. The difference between you and them right now is the delusional confidence that no matter what is thrown at you, you’ll be able to figure it out! Keeping your dreams and aspirations to yourself doesn’t do any good for yourself or the world. By dreaming big, we allow ourselves to live life more fully and achieve things that we may have never thought possible.
Reframe your thinking about what you can and can’t do, or what you do and don’t deserve and what it might take to get there. Proclaim it loud to yourself and to others too, so it becomes a part of existence in reality. Those dreams can grow when they see the light of day and are able to be acted upon. Practice being delusionally confident this week and speaking into existence your dreams and goals, and reminding yourself that you just as much as anyone is capable of reaching those dreams!
The topic for this week’s episode is all about asking for help. Asking for help seemed so easy when we were kids and everything about the world was interesting and exciting. I’m sure if you asked any adult at that time, we were straight up annoying them with the amount of questions we asked. Somewhere along the road we become self aware and feel like we are the only one who might not know the answer. We stop asking questions in class, stop asking for help at work when a task is overwhelming and we can even stop asking for help when it comes to our mental and emotional health. This fear of asking for help can become paralyzing and frustrating at the same time. Maybe there's a skill you want to learn so badly and you’ve tried a million times, but just can’t get it right, or maybe you have no idea what’s wrong but it seems weird to reach out, because what if the person i tell judges me.
Asking for help is hard, but the reality is that the fear and judgment that might exist is mostly built up inside of your head. Remember when your 6th grade teacher would say, “If you have that question there’s probably at least 5 other people in the room that have the same question as you.” We are all human, and we don’t know everything and nobody expects us to know everything, so we don’t need to pretend that we do. Everyone around you is so concerned with their own questions and problems, that they would probably just be happy you reached out to begin with!
Asking for help is a skill, and comes with a lot of emotional baggage in the form of vulnerability and courage. The minute you ask for help and seek answers to questions that have held you back, you can begin to become a better version of yourself and build strong relationships built on an intrinsic human experience…sharing of knowledge and experience.
Working on yourself is hard work. That’s just the truth. It requires focus, hard work and lots of discipline, but the reward is definitely worth it. The only thing is that when it comes to a regimen and a schedule that is set out to make us better, it can become extremely stale. We know that as human beings we crave new and exciting adventures and stimuli. I mean think about scrolling on social media every day, just going on and on to the next video or post to see something new and exciting. Whether your personal goals are physical, social or mental there is benefits to mixing things up and allowing for intentional spontaneity.
There is a big difference between doing something because of a lack of discipline and setting aside time to do something new, fun and exciting, but still in the parameters of your goals. The easy example that could come to mind is something like a cheat day, when it comes to working out or eating right. If that happens to be scheduled within your plan and that works for you great, but maybe pick a food or a new restaurant that you’ve never been to before. Mix it up, and keep it fresh so that the fatigue of chasing your goals can be a fun adventure rather than a trudge up a never ending hill. We have struggled with this our entire lives. The key that has helped us on this path to getting better is being intentional with when and how we implement spontaneity.
Whether it's drinks with friends or a mix up in the typical workout, we try and plan things out ahead of time so we have a new and exciting adventure to look forward to. When your working on bettering yourself every day seems like a new challenge, but these can be taxing and hard on our minds and bodies, use these moments to intentionally do something that is within the parameters of your goals but is low stress! Like anything planning and intentionality makes your life a lot easier, and that is especially true here. Plan date nights, new activities and fun ahead of time to relieve and reward yourself for all of the hard work you have been doing the other 95% of the time!
Goals are just dreams without a plan. The ability to dream and think big is key to living the most amazing life that you set out for yourself, however there’s a catch. You have to have some semblance of reality in order to reach said goals. There are details, planning and an aspect of reality that you have to be in touch with in order to achieve said dreams. Both are necessary, but one without the other can leave you in a pretty precarious spot. If you’re too realistic on one hand, you may never dare to dream, always seeing big tasks and challenges as insurmountable. If you are constantly dreaming and living at 10,000 feet it can be nearly impossible to put rubber to the road and really get the things done when the time comes.
Today, we discuss the ability to close the gap between dreams and reality, something that we have struggled with for a long time. Dreaming is often easy for many, but being realistic about those dreams and setting in place the plans to achieve them that’s a whole nother story. Oftentimes it can be easy to never check yourself, or hold yourself accountable with how you are currently operating. In any goal or plan this is a perfect recipe for failure or never even starting at all. As we begin to assess where we lie on the spectrum between dreams and reality we have to start by being vulnerable and honest with where we are at and what it may take to close the gap.
As you look to close the gap in your own life, take some time to gracefully assess where you are currently at. Rome wasn’t built in a day and the gap between dreams and reality most of the time feels even greater than Rome so cut yourself som slack. Keep your dreams in mind as you begin to sketch out the plans necessary to make them a reality. The why behind those dreams will keep you going even when plans seems most off course or reality seems too daunting to overcome. By expressing your dreams and your realities on a daily basis you will become closer to both of them, so close in fact that they will ultimately meld into one.
There’s a big difference between being overwhelmed and being fulfilled. The feeling that we have can either breathe life into us or it can crush us under constant pressure. We hide behind this facade of being busy as a way of telling ourselves that objects in motion tend to stay in motion, which is totally true if we were all just objects. We have goals, aspirations and most importantly feelings that can dictate if the things that we are doing in our day to day are lifting us up or tearing us down.
The opposite exists as well, sometimes we can have a lot of free time and equally convince ourselves that we are content with just existing. It feels like it is such a fine line that we have to balance between working too little and working too much and if any of it all really matters. As you begin to look forward and see the schedule for your week, think about how many of those meetings, appointments, and nights out are filling you up and which ones are just exhausting you more.
We struggle constantly, knowing if we are doing the right thing, if we should be working harder or if we need to chill out and enjoy ourselves a little. The truth is that it is an extremely hard thing to balance, but a lot of it can come down to the way you feel at the end of the night when your head hits the pillow, and the next morning when your eyes first flash open. Are you satisfied with the work you’ve done today, and the direction and purpose of that work, or does it feel like you’re running in place and the gap from you to first is just getting further and further away. Take some time to think about your daily and weekly schedule and what things are breathing life into you and what others might be taking life out of you.
You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. Shame can feel like one of those inevitables in life that happens to everyone. It seems kind of odd though when it rears its ugly head. We had been experiencing shame that was built up in our own heads, a figment of how we thought our friends and family might react to certain goals that we were working on pursuing. Massive changes were on the horizon, and we were worried that could leave us alienated and feeling ashamed of the decisions that we had made in following a dream.
The other side of the coin came from how we had been feeling internally. Feeling ashamed at the way we acted or felt, or that we should be further along than we currently were. Sometimes it feels like there’s no middle ground with shame. You’re either internally frustrated with yourself or you’re scared that others are going to be frustrated with you. What we learned about both of these versions of shame, is that they are treatable and ownable.
Whether you are frustrated internally or worried that others might feel differently towards you when delving into a new pursuit, it’s important to take ownership of that feeling and not give shame an opportunity to creep in. Most of the time we are building up expectations in our heads, the minute that we open up and own our journey wherever we are at others will most likely begin to rally around you and support you. It can be hard to pursue things without expectations of how yourself or others will react, but I guess if you never try you’ll never know. The same goes for others around you…if you don’t give them a chance to be supportive and caring there’s no way they can be.
Planning can be difficult, it’s something that takes effort and intentionality, and most importantly foresight. When we think about our lives and the things that will help us grow personally, it is extremely hard to choose the things that will be the best for us when every fiber in our being is telling us to take the easy way out. That’s not just you and me either, that is everyone. Buying fast food sounds a lot better than cooking food, buying those new jeans sounds a lot more fun than budgeting and saving for a new home. Short term gratification rules most of our lives, and our ability to curb that craving for it, could be the difference between big improvements long term.
Small day to day decisions help impact us in a big way. We find that when we work hard to put ourselves in the right environments to make the right decisions we make better ones. It’s not that we don’t cave sometimes and watch 2 hours of tik tok, or miss a workout every now and then, but it’s the realization that we could have prevented that decision if we would have planned ahead.
One of the biggest fears that we can have in life is the feeling of regret. Most people ourselves included, often use quick snap decisions to try and ignore that looming feeling of regret. Whether it’s in your work, hobbies or relationships, recognize your behaviors, and what you can do to set yourself up for success. It’s not easy, and most of the time it’s really hard actually, but maybe if we plan ahead we might have a better chance of getting the outcome that we deserve!
So often in life we can feel trapped in the mundane tasks of life. As life moves fast it may seem extremely difficult to find meaning in it. This week we seek to find answers of where in life we are affected by this dilemma and how would be best to create that meaning in where it may be lacking.
As you listen to this try to take some time out of your day in the morning and evening to ask yourself why. Why is this important? Why do I care? Ect. As we often speak about in the podcast is the importance of asking why in reference to Simon Sinek’s, organizational psychologist, book ‘Start with Why’.
By doing this practice of asking macro ‘Why’ questions we then are able to create meaning in the micro trivial tasks of our lives. This will provide you with a clear vision and remind you of the importance in the little things of life.
Pain, Uncertainty and Constant Work, are the three things that Dr. Phillip Stutz claims are the only things we can count on in this life. As this podcast has now been out for almost two years, we both realized we’ve never really talked about the saying “experts in almost nothing”. As podcast fanatics who care about personal growth on all levels we avidly listen to other podcasts and read books that speak on the same topics we talk about ourselves, but there’s one difference we like to really hit home. We don’t have any clue what the right answers are. Every podcast we listen to brings on an expert or an amazing individual to tell their unique story and the things that we as other human beings can take away from it, but they are just that also human beings.
If uncertainty is guaranteed in life then that means, your parents, teachers, coaches, and yes even the smartest guest on a podcast you listened to one time don’t know for sure what’s going to happen. We pride ourselves on admitting openly and earnestly that we are also seeking answers in this journey, but we remind ourselves daily that even with the infinite knowledge in the world there are things we don’t know and surely can’t prepare for.
Uncertainty is scary no doubt, something that all of us avoid and even snarl at in anger if someone has a different experience than our own. The difference, however, is that if we knew everything there would be absolutely no progress. No new diseases to cure, no new species to uncover, and no new records to break. Uncertainty means opportunity. The chance to learn something new everyday, have new and exciting adventures. Being uncertain and not knowing is quite the opposite of scary and shameful, rather it is an expression of joy the same way a child might marvel at new facts they have never heard. Stare uncertainty in the face this week and be vulnerable, offer yourself to it and say I am here to learn from you.
There are certain standards in life that we set for ourselves. They live in all different worlds that we belong to; relationships, career, and the list goes on and on. When we begin to let these standards slip it can take a toll on what we not only allow and expect of ourselves, but also of what we think we deserve. The inability to live up to the standards we set for ourselves can leave us feeling frustrated and bitter. In response to this, it is always important to practice grace, but recognize that we must be honest with ourselves and demand more when the opportunity presents itself.
Once we recognize what the things are that we hold dear, we can begin to put in place boundaries and standards to produce the type of quality that we know we are capable of. Once we set standards in place it is important to be vulnerable and willing to accept the honesty that those standards will ask of us. It can be challenging at first to put ourselves out there, and demand more, but what waits on the other side of the challenge is the opportunity to attract others around us.
Once we have established the quality that we want for ourselves, that is when we are able to attract the relationships around us that can make us even better than what we are currently at. It starts internally as opposed to looking to others, because there is only so much others can hold us to when we won’t hold ourselves to the same qualities when we are alone. Think about the standards you want to hold for yourself, and some of the ways you can be more honest this week.
Today we discuss a topic that is intimidating to most, but has the power to unlock your greatest potential for fulfillment. Expressing ourselves can be hard in everyday life, because we often have very few outlets, but it can be even harder when we are worrying about outside audiences as opposed to what we think as individuals. Rick Rubin, a famous Music Producer who has worked with the likes of Jay-Z, Adele and Ed Sheeran to name a few, spoke exclusively on this idea. Rubin talked about his process and how every time he enters a session he is much more focused on telling the story of where he is at that moment as opposed to what the audience might want or deems as successful.
“The audience comes last,” says Rubin in recent interviews. This idea can be complex and feel like it is very counterintuitive for a hit producing creative, but in reality it comes as a slight relief. Rather than going into work or relationships with the goal of recreating past success day in and day out, it becomes much more important to express ourselves exactly where we are whether that is in your career, relationships or passions. In this way we worry less about what other people might want, and more about just telling the stories we want to day in and day out.
This fear of what other people want from us is normally what stops us from expressing ourselves freely. Rather than being honest about serving ourselves first so we can be the best we can be for others, we succumb to pressures from outside audiences. This can be challenging and counterintuitive, especially when we think about ourselves as selfless and willing to help. Try and think about when you are at your best this week, and if at that moment you have met your own unique needs before attempting to help others first.
According to Seth Godin, there are two stories in our lives, the one we want the world to tell about us and the one we tell ourselves. The first is an autobiography, one that WE write ourselves with highlights for the world to see long once we are gone. The second is our inner self talk, the dialogue that plays in our head everyday along the way. The latter can be a catalyst for the first if we use it correctly, because in the autobiography nobody is going to see half the work that went into writing that story. Our self talk contains dreams, fears and everything in between, but when used correctly can be an incredibly powerful tool in achieving what we set out to.
Our autobiography is outward facing, it is what we want the world to see. Accomplishments of all kinds live here. In order for those dreams to come true you have to write them down now, think about what that book looks like and what you’ve written for yourself. These giant hopes and dreams have to start somewhere and oftentimes they begin with the end in mind as opposed to the start.
The story we tell ourselves can be make or break. This narrative plays over and over in our minds daily, constantly writing and rewriting itself. This self talk can be filled with excuses and fear of what could go wrong or the reasons that you didn’t start, or it can be filled with dreams of shining a bright light on the world. The only thing that matters in pursuit of writing this story is that it be honest. The minute that we can accept what we are truly feeling and feeding ourselves, then we can truly begin to write that story ourselves instead of the other way around. Become the author of your own self-talk this week, and think about how that could affect the story you are writing about yourself years down the road.
The world is full of uncertainty. Uncertainty in our days, weeks and months, our careers, passions and relationships and a whole lot of other aspects of life. It can be daunting to try and remain hopeful with all of that uncertainty around. What lies around the corner can cause fear, anxiety or depression. As humans we hate not knowing what is going to happen or how it is going to happen. How do we begin to find hope in these trying times as opposed to the latter.
Our first instinct may be to plan everything out, minute by minute or day by day, but that becomes nearly impossible. Even the best laid plans are subject to change and adaptation. When futures are uncertain it helps to visualize in our own lives what are the things we most want to change, and how we see the future unfolding. This tool of visualizing in detail allows us as individuals to create elaborate correlations in our brain over time and allows us to more accurately attack the plans that are needed to make the changes we wish to see.
Begin to plan out some of those changes gradually, think about what might be necessary to achieve the things that will bring you fulfillment even in an uncertain world. This small bit of visualization and planning combined with hard work will be key to making a life of uncertainty a little bit more hopeful.
Today in the final episode of What is Humans? In the year 2022 we look back at the biggest lessons and takeaways from the year. A journey of personal and professional experiences that have lead to an outrageous amount of growth and self discovery and many times rediscovery.
Things like taking risks, building a community, and efficiency are all a part of this conversation, but those lessons could look completely different for your 2022. It can be easy to look at the wins and losses of 2022, but what’s more important is to understand why you felt they were wins or losses this year.
Take a minute to sit with yourself and reflect on your 2022. It will be uncomfortable at points and some points joyous to recognize everything the year has had to offer ourselves. Look at 2023 with a fresh mindset and with new experiences gained and think about how your newfound lessons can help make 2023 even better! Happy New Years!
Shane and Dennis
As the new year approaches and we look back and reflect on the past year, it can be easy to make a lot of assumptions and affirmations about the changes you want to see in the future. We often tell ourselves we want to be fitter, read more, or have better relationships with the ones we care about most. While these are all noble goals for the new year, it’s important to think about why we want these goals and what the values are behind them that we feel will be sustainable. We often hope that dropping a few pounds or implementing more date nights will be the ultimate cure-all to being happier and more fulfilled. In this episode we want to challenge ourselves, to look more deeply into our values and create lasting habits that will create happiness and fulfillment as a byproduct of those actions.
Finite goals can often be amazing tools to create deadlines and give us clear objectives to shoot for on our path, but the habits and routines that most align with our unique values are the moments when we are most in flow. Working hard, failing, succeeding and ultimately feeling satisfied in all facets of our life is a direct correlation of how closely aligned our actions are with our core values. Before we move forward into 2023 look back and think about the times in our life that we have felt most in flow. These moments will be indicators of habits and moments in our life when we were most fulfilled.
Instilling those similar habits in the new year in different aspects of our life, like health, work, and relationships can be the difference between a cyclical nature of trying and ultimately quitting. There are no set vessels for happiness or fulfillment, but the nature of the actions must align with our values to create lasting fulfillment and happiness in the new year. Look backwards, make a plan and adjust as you feel you are getting off course from what truly matters to you regardless of the activity or the “goal”.
As individuals we have to be able to gauge in a healthy way how much we are demanding of ourselves. In many ways as children, demands are put on or for us by parents, teachers or coaches. In a lot of ways this shapes what we demand of ourselves as we grow up and become adults. Newfound freedoms of adulthood though can leave us floating day by day, however when we forget to evaluate what we ask of ourselves.
The demands that exist in adulthood can leave us haggard and feeling burnt out especially when it isn’t tied to a purpose or something we see the practicality in. Other times a lack of demands can leave us unfulfilled constantly seeking out more in places or activities that only offer short term happiness.
It can become easy to be too easy or too hard on ourselves. The trick is finding a sweet spot in the middle. Some place where you feel challenged, and rewarded by both failure and accomplishment. Without a demanding life we can leave earth with regret that we potentially didn’t do more with the time we had.
There are a certain amount of mundane tasks that are a necessary part of human existence. Washing the dishes, making your bed, checking your email and the list goes on and on. These tasks can seem so mind numbing and repetitive that we look for escape into new and novel experiences. This is a normal and necessary piece of life, we all want to experience new and exciting things. Without planning though we can turn to vices in our lives to alleviate the pain and discomfort of boredom, true fulfillment lies in finding the balance of worthwhile tasks that yield novel experiences, feelings and relationships.
Examples of this can be professional athletes. They practice the same moves over and over in the gym, but it is all leading up to playing in big games that mean something to them week in and week out. Now we aren’t all professional athletes, so what then becomes the thing that we enjoy toiling towards that brings us novelty. We have to take chances and plan things in our life that challenge us in new and exciting ways to break up the normality of our days. When we create obstacles and challenges in our lives and build towards goals and challenges we can recreate that same balance of boredom and novelty.
Consistent effort is what brings us the most joy because it comes off the back of sustained hard work. So create plans, schedules and routines that are challenging and new. Get better at them and then move onto new challenges day in and day out, always moving towards the next thing. Not only with this create balance in boredom and novelty, but will also ensure constant growth.
It can be hard to keep track of things when it moves so fast, but if we don’t keep track things can get lost and blown out of proportion. Whether it’s your metaphorical bank account or your goals the only way to keep track of things is to stay on top of them. Being your own accountant allows you to take agency over the goals you set and keep track of the progress along the way.
When we set out to achieve big goals it’s easy to get lost in the weeds, that’s why we have to create smaller more achievable goals along the way. By taking the emotion out of decisions and goals we can focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Accountants are logical and when it comes to numbers it is very black and white.
Keep your account open and visible this week and look at the way you're spending energy and time to ultimately achieve your goals. Celebrate the wins and visualize future successes. We can’t achieve what we can’t see.
We are constantly taking actions in our lives, doing things every single moment of every day. Sometimes these actions are selfless and for others and sometimes they are for ourselves. What happens when some actions are for others and for ourselves? Maybe you bring a bottle of wine over to a housewarming party to show you care, what if you send a late email to surprise your boss that you’re working extra late to get a new promotion? Some actions are never just as they seem, some can have ulterior motives.
Ulterior motives are extrinsic or alternative reasons for doing something, especially when concealed or differing from the stated reason. They can come up as feelings inside, maybe I want someone to like me, maybe I secretly want something from someone like a raise. There is a fine line that we walk with ulterior motives, the internal battle with ourselves and then the line externally that can stretch as far as manipulation of others. Ulterior Motives are usually concealed and come from the idea that others may not accept an agenda of our own.
Rather than concealing our true feelings and motives, there is an innate freedom that comes with being honest about them. Tell your boss you want the promotion and ask how to get it, ask genuinely of others that you want to make a good impression. Is there anything I should bring? This honesty with others can be freeing and relieving for others but most often relieving for ourselves. When we share our goals and motives with the world, often times the world rewards us, by answering us with honesty in return.
Winter, it's cold, lifeless and full of food. These are some of the normal things we associate with this season of the year. It’s a time to celebrate, be with family and friends and more than anything curl up in a ball and drench yourself in comfort. While this is our natural instinct to the cold and windy nights of the season, it doesn’t seem like it's necessarily the most advantageous reaction to the cold.
We have a couple of different options, we can give into the cold and let it dictate our next 18 weeks, or we can fight against the cold and accept it for what it is, an opportunity. A moment in which we can forge a routine and a path ahead that ultimately puts us in the driver’s seat coming forward into the new year. We usually curl up and wait for the new year before we put a plan together and really think about what the future could look like, but this season we want to do it a little differently.
Limit your decisions and your distractions this holiday season and think about who you want to be on the other side of this winter season. If we can put in place a plan and goals for the new year, this will breed decisions that will be made with or without the presence of the cold weather. Our environment is often something we try and control, but in other times our response to our environment is what’s much more important.
In a world where it seems we have more time than ever, the one thing that seems lost is a sense of urgency. A skill that seems like a must to achieve insurmountable goals we set for ourselves, can be very hard to come by and leave us wondering if it is our fault or the goal’s fault. The real question then lies in the way that we curate this urgency, if it comes naturally, like in moments of peril or when a superior needs something of us, or if we can create that urgency ourselves.
Our environment as always can play a large role in the way that we approach a sense of urgency. Never out of control, but also not leaving anything on the table either. A cool calm and brisk pace that allows us to succeed or fail fast and often ultimately allowing us to win the day. There are always going to be varying degrees of urgency, not every day is the same, but long term success starts with short term habits and one of those lies in the way we approach every task every day.
Begin to think about the obstacles that potentially stand in our way, the things that make it difficult for us to better utilize these moments of profound urgency. If everything in our lives is a difficult task we have to be prepared to do the easy things swiftly so that we can better apply our mental and emotional focus towards the big tasks that require the most from us. If we can continue every day to live with urgency, the mundane and not so mundane tasks that make up large and sometimes daunting goals can seem that much more achievable.
Being recognized for the things we have done can often seem like all we ever want, but is it always the most important thing? Taking credit can often cause us to become resentful or selfish especially in our relationships whether that be at work, friendships or relationships. Many times when we fiend for the recognition or the credit that we desperately craved it can fall flat when we are standing up there alone. The biggest reason that we feel the need to remind others or ourselves of the hard work we’ve done or think we deserve can come from a lack of connection.
Sharing the way that we feel whether that be overwhelmed or underappreciated in the roles that we hold with other parties can allow others to understand the ways that we are feeling and how they can help. When we isolate ourselves and exclude others from the proceedings both good and bad it can lead to miscommunication on both ends. As a true leader look to give credit rather than be the first one to take credit when the job is done.
While we often feel that we haven’t been compensated or recognized for the hard work that we have done, it is important to remember that we are all connected as human beings. We are feeling a lot more alike than we are different. Think about the ways that you can take more responsibility off the plate of another in times of strife and you can look to give gratitude in times of triumph.
In life we can feel stuck in one of two places, go go go or no motivation whatsoever. We know that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, but what’s the downfall of just doing the same thing over and over again. Do we become fatigued and burn out? Do we become masters at whatever we are doing?
Today, we discuss a new training technique called dynamic loading and its effects on aspects other than just the physical. In a world previously prided on more is more, many are now seeing the benefits of rest days physically, mentally and spiritually.
Is rest really rest though if we aren’t intentionally recharging out batteries. Think about your rest times; late at night, early mornings, over the weekends or during the week. Are you decompressing or just numbing out? Maybe fidgeting around and thinking ahead about what’s next. Rest is a skill the same way that play is. Make sure you’re putting the time, effort and intention towards it this week.
In life we can feel stuck in one of two places, go go go or no motivation whatsoever. We know that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, but what’s the downfall of just doing the same thing over and over again. Do we become fatigued and burn out? Do we become masters at whatever we are doing?
Today, we discuss a new training technique called dynamic loading and its effects on aspects other than just the physical. In a world previously prided on more is more, many are now seeing the benefits of rest days physically, mentally and spiritually.
Is rest really rest though if we aren’t intentionally recharging out batteries. Think about your rest times; late at night, early mornings, over the weekends or during the week. Are you decompressing or just numbing out? Maybe fidgeting around and thinking ahead about what’s next. Rest is a skill the same way that play is. Make sure you’re putting the time, effort and intention towards it this week.
Mandalas, an ancient work of art that has been used throughout religion, history, and even the most ancient of civilizations, but how can it apply even further in our everyday lives. Mandalas start with a point in the center, have two circles around them typically and then patterns that stretch and interweave to reach the outer circle. The tiny dot at the center is you and the other rings represent close friends and family. These building blocks for ourselves are necessary, and ultimately what keep us afloat just like in the self actualization pyramid of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The question is how do these two symbols differ and why is it important?
The importance of this circular pattern lies in the idea that we at the center of our own mandala touch everything in some way from the outer ring to our closest rings. The patterns that come within our circle represent us sharing ourselves with the community and the beauty that can be realized. Now, this can be scary and often times make us feel vulnerable to go out in the world and share more of ourselves than is required, but this is where the magic happens.
Look in your own life first at the way you view your unique self, the things you have to give to this beautiful world and recognize they are worth sharing. Then put that into action. Build a network that will take your unique stamp on this world to others, not only for them but also for yourself so you can have unexpected interactions that you may have never thought possible.Then as you do and spread your unique self always look to see how you can teach and mentor others in the same way that you found your own unique self.
Mandalas, an ancient work of art that has been used throughout religion, history, and even the most ancient of civilizations, but how can it apply even further in our everyday lives. Mandalas start with a point in the center, have two circles around them typically and then patterns that stretch and interweave to reach the outer circle. The tiny dot at the center is you and the other rings represent close friends and family. These building blocks for ourselves are necessary, and ultimately what keep us afloat just like in the self actualization pyramid of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The question is how do these two symbols differ and why is it important?
The importance of this circular pattern lies in the idea that we at the center of our own mandala touch everything in some way from the outer ring to our closest rings. The patterns that come within our circle represent us sharing ourselves with the community and the beauty that can be realized. Now, this can be scary and often times make us feel vulnerable to go out in the world and share more of ourselves than is required, but this is where the magic happens.
Look in your own life first at the way you view your unique self, the things you have to give to this beautiful world and recognize they are worth sharing. Then put that into action. Build a network that will take your unique stamp on this world to others, not only for them but also for yourself so you can have unexpected interactions that you may have never thought possible.Then as you do and spread your unique self always look to see how you can teach and mentor others in the same way that you found your own unique self.
Friedrich Nietzche once talked about the largest barrier to higher level thinking as our natural instinct as humans to simplify things. The early understanding as the first humans to take experiences and categorize them as opposites. For example, light and dark, good and evil, master and slave.
This categorization makes it easy to understand and initially Jussie people, things and experiences without much thought. This major simplification ingrained in our DNA is false, argued Nietzche. Things are not opposites in our world but rather differences of degree. There is no good and bad just varying degrees between the two, and this small change in mindset can lead to an enlightened view of society as a whole.
Think about the ways in your own life in which you previously have been categorizing your beliefs as opposites of one another as opposed to differences of degree. Never judging or predisposing yourself to the idea that someone of something is completely opposite but rather a unique difference in degree compared to you and me.
Friedrich Nietzche once talked about the largest barrier to higher level thinking as our natural instinct as humans to simplify things. The early understanding as the first humans to take experiences and categorize them as opposites. For example, light and dark, good and evil, master and slave.
This categorization makes it easy to understand and initially Jussie people, things and experiences without much thought. This major simplification ingrained in our DNA is false, argued Nietzche. Things are not opposites in our world but rather differences of degree. There is no good and bad just varying degrees between the two, and this small change in mindset can lead to an enlightened view of society as a whole.
Think about the ways in your own life in which you previously have been categorizing your beliefs as opposites of one another as opposed to differences of degree. Never judging or predisposing yourself to the idea that someone of something is completely opposite but rather a unique difference in degree compared to you and me.
The journey or the destination? An age old debate that is always a constant lesson in appreciating the moments we are in instead of longing for the result or outcome we are starving for. In today’s episode of What Is Humans? We reflect on the idea of outcome obstruction through an inspiring Japanese pottery company. The company requires apprentices to work for 20 years before becoming full time at the company. After making every pot for the first twenty years the masters will break their pots to keep apprentices from becoming too attached to any one creation.
In many ways this ancient practice that still exists today is something that is very hard for most of us to learn in our own lives. The idea that we may be limiting ourselves by accepting the first attempts and unafraid to fail we just stop where we are. It is always better to work smarter and not harder, but the ability to commit to a higher standard and accept the mistakes and the journey along the way is the true goal for many of us.
Striving to achieve something larger than ourselves will never be easy, but the ability to have fun and embrace the opportunity of mistake and failure is a far greater outcome than any other. In every facet of our life it is massively important to embrace the opportunity of failure and risk, because that is what most of our lives turn out to be. Never perfect, always learning.
As we have stated many times, change is the only constant. Something that is hard to come to terms with especially as humans we fear it so much. Our environments change, and our relationships change, but the one thing more than ever to remember is that we as individuals change. Today, we discuss a Stoic saying from a famous philosopher Heraclitus. He said, “No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.”
This saying begins to get at a natural phenomenon about time, space and the way we view the flow of the two. While we often long for normalcy and static fearing change in any way we must begin to understand that it is in reality the most natural thing. We are not who we were yesterday and neither is the world around us. Rather than tearing down our sense of identity, this phenomenon of change and flux gives us an insight into the way that change truly inspires our identity.
Our constant change reveals that we are in our most natural state when we are in constant motion, like the cells in our body, or the sun rising and setting differently, and finally like the river flowing constantly. Begin to think about the way that we can more aptly accept change, and begin to take advantage of the peace that it can bring.
In order to pursue great things we must first believe that we are great or at least that’s what we would like to propose. Self-belief can oftentimes be the thing that holds us back most when we think about starting off on an unknown path outside of our comfort zones. We convince ourselves that we aren’t capable or worthy of the rewards that may come from the hard work along the way.
The ebbs and flows of life can have an effect on the way we perceive ourselves and what we are capable of. We begin to doubt ourselves when we are treading into unknown waters. A theme that can only be overcome through self belief. We must strive to receive validation internally rather than relying or seeking it out based on the people around us or the roles that we hold.
Think about the ways in which you think about yourself and put limits on yourself. Possibilities are limitless when we are able to internally recognize that we are all capable and deserving of great things. This system of self belief will serve as fuel to propel ourselves into new heights as we look to tackle new goals.
Rarely in life are we creating something truly original. Whether we are looking to innovate, reach our goals, or simply be creative subconsciously we are inspired by creations we have seen already in our life. Oftentimes this can seem daunting or discouraging. The idea that we may have to create something truly unique and from scratch can seem unimaginably difficult, and on the other side it can seem discouraging that your ideas aren’t truly unique, but rather a new interpretation of a previous idea.
In order to reach the goals we set out for ourselves we must experiment, research and develop techniques that will help us be at our very best. Only once we have the courage to take from others, use their techniques and then tweak those recipes can we truly recognize what we can possibly achieve.
Finally, none of this makes any sense if we don’t document our endeavors. From daily observances about life to training techniques to our own thoughts we can begin to keep track of the breakthroughs. Most of the time brilliance is only born out of many many attempts. Continue to experiment and document what is working and what isn’t and remix and tweak until you have created a new and beautiful breakthrough that in turn will almost always inspire more to come.
Over time, inventions and progression of society have made our lives exponentially easier. As humans we naturally seek out pleasure, as a defense mechanism. This isn’t comfort vs discomfort, but rather the idea that with so many pain killers and open opportunities for joy in our lives we might not know true happiness nearly as much as generations before us.
True happiness is a vague term that is different for everyone but in this case could be described as the unwavering joy that secedes some sort of pain. The ability to overcome obstacles or hardship in order to realize something about ourselves and others.
With modern day pleasures like social media, streaming and even drugs and alcohol more readily at our disposal it can cloud our ability to feel earned joy as opposed to that which is given so easily.
Balance is noticeable, but never more so than in design. A discipline that has been trained over years and years to recognize when two elements are too close or too far. These elements are related these paragraphs are completely different. We have trained our minds to quickly recognize and decipher information in this way.
However, some things that are so glaringly obvious on paper can be terribly hard to recognize in our own lives. With us almost always at the center of our own self portraits of the world we can forget what lies behind. A beautiful picture, must have balance, just as much of the focus as of the negative space. Never crowding, but never too far away either, the perfect amount of space.
Today, we discuss the design principle of negative space and how it can apply to our own design of life. Think about the elements you are next to on your page these could be relationships, hobbies, or characteristics. Training yourself and others to see you and categorize you in a certain way. Imagine the negative space around you to help keep yourself and others in a beautiful design.
Proximity, as in nearness or closeness to a person or place can be an extremely powerful tool. We have talked many times about environments before;creating them for ourselves, the ones we grew up with and the ones that are created around us. In this instance, we will discuss not only the benefits of surrounding ourselves with people that are looking to challenge us but also closeness to ideas, beliefs and values that are challenging us as well.
In contrast to other episodes where we have discussed balance, today we will look at immersing ourselves in a lifestyle of proximity. Surrounding ourselves with the people, hobbies and values of others that we admire will change the way we live.
Finally we will focus on discovering more about ourselves to find out who the people and passions that we wish to immerse ourselves in. A period of discovery is necessary for us to taste many different things, so ultimately we can find out exactly what it is that we want knowing full well there will be failure along the way.
Proximity, as in nearness or closeness to a person or place can be an extremely powerful tool. We have talked many times about environments before;creating them for ourselves, the ones we grew up with and the ones that are created around us. In this instance, we will discuss not only the benefits of surrounding ourselves with people that are looking to challenge us but also closeness to ideas, beliefs and values that are challenging us as well.
In contrast to other episodes where we have discussed balance, today we will look at immersing ourselves in a lifestyle of proximity. Surrounding ourselves with the people, hobbies and values of others that we admire will change the way we live.
Finally we will focus on discovering more about ourselves to find out who the people and passions that we wish to immerse ourselves in. A period of discovery is necessary for us to taste many different things, so ultimately we can find out exactly what it is that we want knowing full well there will be failure along the way.
In what ways can thinking of the end bring us peace of mind in the present? How can we gather strength from past generations before us? Today we begin to look at the people that we want to become and how that can direct us in the right direction in the present. In everyday life mundane decisions like where to eat, what television show to watch, or which shirt to wear can seem insignificant especially without thinking about your future self.
Humans naturally are working to escape pain, doing whatever in the moment to seek out immediate gratification. If we can begin to shift our mindset into what will make us happiest right now in the moment to what will make our future selves proud down the line we can begin to see a shift in behavior in our present.
In many ways this can seem daunting, today’s decisions could influence 30 years in the future or even further after you have left this life, but the key is starting small and with direction. Identities and titles will change, but characteristics, like courage, kindness and generosity can influence your daily life knowing in 40 years that’s how you’ll want to leave your legacy behind!
Life is constantly fluctuating and changing, good things and bad things all of the time. With so many of our lives we live a good life one we rarely ever have to recollect or think about until something bad happens.
In that moment as a negative comes into our lives we have many decisions; happy or sad, angry or accepting. The ultimate realization is that most of the time these negatives are out of our control. A moment in time that leaves us aloof as to the next step.
That moment acts as a piece in time to decide to embrace or discourage your own fate. Accept the moment for what it is and make the most of the opportunity or wallow in it.
In life doors close, life becomes stagnant and in many ways it can feel that the universe is working against us. Options seem fleeting and possibilities seem limited. The way out can seem elusive to the naked eye unsure which way to go or where to turn. In those moments it is important to recognize and respond by stepping out and exploring what the world has to offer.
Our routines and lives can become habits almost to our detriment, limiting us to what we are truly capable of experiencing. In this episode we will look at the ways exploring can reveal possibilities that we never may have thought possible. Whether that be overcoming fear of new things, or just having the faith to take a step after falling down.
Think about the ways in your own life that routine has become a prison to what you may be capable of. Just in the ways that we work to confuse our muscles with different workouts, we also should work to challenge our minds and emotions. A new door opens when another one closes, but only if we are willing to walk down the hallway first.
Balance is a constant challenge for every person, it is rarely perfect with any one person and often can become a major burden whether we take on too many things or just one. This week Shane and Dennis discuss new hit show on Apple TV Severance and the very real conversation it explores about work life balance. While the extreme version of work life balance can be not nearly as severe it still begs the question, is balance even correct to begin with?
Everything in moderation, a common phrase, can come out to mean something like never indulging, but also never abstaining. Shane argues that to live this life means that one can never truly live. Without diving all in to passions, work or relationships it is hard to ever see the true benefits of that decision. Time and time again we think of successful people as going all in on nutrition, work or other aspects of life in order to achieve something leaving other aspects of life in the dust.
As much as we want to be able to turn on focus mode at work, in relationships, or in our hobbies, the truth is we live a holistic life in which each feeds off of the other. Think about both approaches, the standard work life balance approach popularized today, or the all in mentality that has bred many successful individuals.
Competition has been used time and time again to find and produce top talent in every facet of life. The term healthy competition comes to mind when we think of the times in which we are pitted against one another. While there are benefits to competition Malcolm Gladwell has suggested there are times when it can be detrimental.
Oftentimes life is more of a team sport than an individual one, if we can help others around us, our family, friends and partners, it can be beneficial for everyone. Today, we discuss the benefits of encouraging and uplifting those that don’t quite have it down yet instead of forcing competition. We will always need competition, but in the future how can we pick and choose the times in our life to use it.
Think in your life of a time when you felt like you just weren’t quite there yet either in your craft, school or your sport. Did it make sense to go against the best and then be told only they would be going on? Listen in today and think about the alternative approach to too much competition.
In life there are many times in which the people around us as rivals or as teammates achieve major successes when we don’t. Our immediate reaction can be pride, joy or even envy. How do we begin to deal with the success of those around us and deal with not only the internal implications but also the external ones.
It can be easy to make those achievements the prize. Most likely one that you were also gunning for, it could be the job promotion, winning the race or something as simple as seeing them happy. In a wide scope we are all searching for many of the same things in life, purpose, love and support and most of the time it can feel like there is a finite amount of those. In reality our egos as well as society has told us that if you’re not first your last rather than the truth which is that we are all running individual races even if it is in the same competition.
Today, we discuss the nuances of pure joy without expecting something in return. Graciously accepting the successes of our opponents and learning from those moments. In your own life think about the times that friend and foe you’ve felt like you are second best in life. Then think about those moments if you faked a smile or if you were genuinely happy.
Every time we step into the arena it can become our immediate goal to do our very best, better than we have ever done before. An emotional response in physical performance, work, and life. The want to push ourselves harder than ever before. However in the end we feel disappointed when we haven’t pushed past and gained our personal best only judging ourselves on one single metric.
The reality is that we only have to be as good as our average. If we can over time recognize the summation of the sum of our parts we can see the average going higher over time. We are very quick to judge ourselves on our personal best as opposed to the average over a large data set.
Next time you think about going into a workout, a meeting or a meditation think about how far you have come over time since you have started. The way that you can make tomorrow slightly better than your average. Don’t focus on the ceiling focus on the floor, take the pressure off and bring your gains up.
Today Shane and Dennis take a minute to reflect after a big move across the country to a new home. The fears and futures that surround the move are discussed at length.
It can be difficult in life to recognize big decisions and then to be able to aptly deal with them. Shane and Dennis breakdown their own thought processes surrounding this big decision and others in each of their lives.
It can be easy to become overwhelmed with big decisions or super excited, but it is key to remain balanced as you make these decisions and leave space for variable change.
Momentum is a tricky idea especially when you haven’t started yet. When you are trying to get started it can be very hard to change and move and operate easily. On the opposite side once you are in motion it is easier to fluidly change and maneuver, at least that’s what famous pilot Amelia Earhart said.
Her famous line painted on the side of her plane read, “Lead with your stick” meaning the stick of the plane. She found it easier to change direction once in the air rather than on the ground. In the same regard to anything in our own lives we must recognize the advantages of getting moving even if we aren’t absolutely sure.
Changing routes and directions can seem scary alone but especially if we haven’t been moving forward already. The ability to take steps in the right direction allows us to more easily find out what we need, what we want and what we don’t want. Think about building momentum, and the benefits that a moving plane has over a stopped one.
In life we are constantly faced with change, and self doubt can be a normal part of that change. The ability to recognize self doubt allows us to be human. It’s normal to be scared or doubt ourselves when going into the unknown.
Our identity can often be tied into external groups relationships and jobs that are challenged when they change. Whether we are making the change or someone is making that decision for us, all the comfort we have known is now gone. Leaving us to wallow and doubt what is next and what we could have done better.
Like all things fear and self doubt have their place and will always come around, but in order to overcome self doubt we must act. Regardless of fear or a lack of confidence in our own abilities, the self doubt will never be alleviated without trying.
In a continued conversation from last week’s episode we are exploring the final three archetypes of our inner child. The yes person, the life of the party, and the hero worshiper are at front and center today. Each of these three archetypes build on the love that we have and have not received and accepted as children.
This week, continue to focus on which archetype or types best remind you of yourself. Each with their own positive and negative connotations. With the end goal of building agency in mind, think about how your own self awareness can play a gigantic role in the future you would like to build for yourself.
Exploring the past can be difficult, but also beneficial. Knowing our own strengths and weaknesses can be the difference between months and even years spent wanting. Addressing the past now can create invaluable links to our behavior today.
How well do you know yourself? A question that we rarely hear. That’s because oftentimes it can be scary and troubling to become self aware. Afraid of the things we might find that we dislike about ourselves, but also afraid to admit the things that we love about ourselves as well.
In order to understand who we are now, it helps to revisit the past. The Seven Archetypes of the Inner Child explains seven different identities that we each can fall under. We tend to see the behaviors of these identities present themselves in our day to day behaviors as adults. This can inform us of the way we give and receive love, how we act at work or with our family and friends.
Not only will being able to understand yourself better be an asset to you going forward but it may also heal some of the behaviors that have plagued you in the past. Listen to this two part episode and dig deeper in learning about yourself in order to better understand how you can be the best version of you that you can be.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff” a saying that we have all heard before. “The Devil is in the Details” another saying that we have all heard before. Both of these quotes are widely recognized, however they completely disregard the other. Are the details important or aren’t they? Are we supposed to hold every person in the world accountable to our standard and our schedule every single day?
In an overlapping world of small details it is important to see how each of them fits into the big picture. The ones that matter and move us closer to our bigger goals in our work, hobbies and relationships. Being able to distinguish which details matter begins with distinguishing what our why is.
When we are able to see the bigger purpose and the ways that the big picture is dependent upon certain small things we become excited about them. It is a repetitive action to remind ourselves of the big picture, our motivation or our loves. These are the vehicles that allows us to dive deeper or decide to let go of the little things.
The Placebo Effect is most commonly referred to when talking about medical drug studies. A phenomenon that occurs when a group of test patients see signs of improvement because they believe they have been given treatment when they have not. This powerful connection between the brain and body can be a powerful tool in personal improvement.
Before any activity or task we have a preconceived notion about the idea and or task, is it going to be hard, fun, enjoyable or miserable either from personal experience or that of others. It’s natural to use past experience as an indicator of future, however these connections can become more important when they affect our mood inside and outside of one singular task.
Think about your own life and one thing that for better or worse can affect your entire day. Now imagine if that one thing that improved your day you could do every day. You may physically or mentally improve based on this one task, but more importantly you may improve in multiple facets throughout the day, like your job relationships or hobbies.
Throughout our lives there will inevitably be goals that we would like to achieve, either in work, in hobbies, in school or in relationships. The list goes on and on. What if someone told you that no matter how many of your goals you achieve, that will never bring you true happiness. That idea is exactly what we are talking about today, and it's called the arrival fallacy.
Psychologists all over the world have done study after study measuring the happiness that was or wasn’t achieved from goals and successes and all of them seem to say the same thing. The happiness that came from achieving said goals was fleeting and only lasted a short amount of time relative to the amount that it took to get there.
You might be expecting someone to say that the real happiness is in the journey and not the destination, however you would be incorrect. Others might suggest we do nothing if the success of achieving said goal doesn’t bring any happiness either. Regardless of what you think will achieve or bring happiness it's typically more complicated that if just than.
In a unique episode today we discuss Shane's recent marathon in Eugene, Oregon. A marathon that was 2 years in the making, involved serious injuries and numerous obstacles.
This culminating moment in Shane’s athletic journey comes off of the back of many conversations that have been had directly on this podcast. Goals are met and made through discipline whether by oneself or with the help of others.
Make sure to think of your next goals and the ways you can incorporate some of the things that Shane did in order to achieve them.
Quitting is synonymous with failure, giving up, and cowardice. On the other hand what if that is just what we have been told? Annie Duke famous World Series of Poker player discusses life in betting terms, and you have to know when to hold them and when to fold them. Our decision making is often rooted in ego and emotion. We believe as human beings that, saying we were wrong, things have changed or want to try something different is a knock on us as individuals.
The art of knowing when to quit can be tricky. Nobody likes change. Most decisions in life aren’t life or death, but it might help if we started acting like they were.
As adolescents we go through a key stage of learning how to formulate ideas of our own. These ideas for the most part come from experience or other’s experiences and knowledge of particular subject matter. As we get older this skill comes more in question as we experience more and more for ourselves.
We can often become set in our ways. In life we deem that one thing is a certain way because that’s how we have always known it to be. The excitement of debate and discovery can be overshadowed by ego and fear that things change and we may be wrong.
Today, think in your own life about preconceived notions that you believe to be true, the way you came to believe said things, and if you have tested them recently. The smallest things can be taken for granted and often times asking others or just doing them for ourselves can lead to the greatest discoveries.
Deadlines, we all have them, but often they are set for us and not by us. Maybe they are set by a client, or a boss, or by our bodies. They become a burden to many, causing anxiety and often doubt over our own abilities to complete the task at hand. Instead of looking at deadlines as a cause for concern, maybe it’s time we start recognizing the good that come from them. Certainly from a productivity standpoint, we would be nowhere without hard deadlines and an idea of how our day to day relates to a bigger picture. From a creative standpoint we can take aim at the benefits of a deadline. Creatively we rarely give a second thought to most tasks. We know how to complete the task, so we do it right then or we procrastinate and do it later. We categorize the amount of effort required and tell ourselves exactly when it is necessary to be completed. Today, be mindful of thinking about the role that creativity and productivity play in the management of a deadline.
Life is full of mundane tasks. Over and over we repeat tasks that are just part of the human experience. Cleaning, washing, preparing after a while they seem to be second nature and often can feel like a waste of time filled with dread.
According to Buddhist teachings these normal and seemingly unimportant moments in life are the exact moments that can lead to enlightenment. Not some outrageous experience or an unrepeatable situation, but rather the everyday tasks that nobody wants to do like chopping wood and carrying water.
If you’re like us you might ask yourself how could this be? The tasks that I was forced to do as a child and ultimately still dread to this day are the answer to life’s mysteries. Listen today as we explore the ideas behind this ancient parable and the applications it has in today’s society. Reflect on what those mundane tasks are in your own life and they may lead to breakthroughs in your own enlightenment!
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is synonymous with human psychology. A pillar that many use in their own life and path to a state of self actualization. The pyramid that shows the typical depiction of Maslow’s findings, however, has some holes.
Today we discuss Scott Kaufmann’s new and improved understanding of the hierarchy of needs that shows a sailboat as the appropriate look. Instead of each level acting as a level we complete, connection, self esteem, and safety are the boat we must keep afloat.
Listen in today as we discuss the journey to self actualization in the version of a sailboat. There will be choppy waters, and unexpected winds, but ultimately this is the only way forward in life.
How much of our life is in our control? Our ability as humans to take a step back and view the bigger picture of our life and ourselves in it is unique. Often the difficulty is, recognizing the balance between what we can control and letting go.
It’s good to care and have a stake in the outcome of our lives, but at what point does taking control become a detriment to ourselves and those around us. Reflect on the amount that you are holding on too tight in your life.
When we try too hard to control the outcome of something, oftentimes we can become so fixated on that one goal that we lose sight of the moment. Think about moments today, when you can take more of a step back and trust that the right outcome is right around the corner.
Every day we as conscious beings are facing millions of inputs. From the minute we wake up in the morning to the minute we go to bed our minds are racing. This constant run that we put our minds through can overtime cause fatigue and ultimately allows us to slip up in times of need.
As creatures of habit we are aware that routines can help bolster our growth and create positive change over time. We also know that when our life is in auto pilot at all times however it can lead to a going through the motions type lifeless approach.
Listen today and think about the systems in your life and how you can optimize some of the minute decisions that take away from your creativity and energy on things that you really love. By eliminating, delegating and automating decisions we can become more present for the moments that matter most.
Walk a mile in my shoes is a common saying. It means that you need to have experienced what I do every day to understand where I’m coming from. This point in and of itself is very hard to achieve, because we all have unique experiences and stories.
As curious human beings it is our responsibility to take on new adventures not only for our own benefit, but also the benefit of understanding others. New endeavors act as a middle ground of true connection between us and others.
By pushing ourselves to meet new people and try new things we become more empathetic towards those around us. Understanding in and of itself can be the biggest bridge between solving some of our most challenging problems.
“Actions express priorities”-Gandhi Actions speak louder than words, a saying that almost everyone is familiar with, however is harder to live by than almost anything else in the world. Life is never as black and white as we make it out to be and certainly fueling our soul through our actions is no exception.
With a finite amount of time on this earth, our priorities are constantly at odds with one another. Hobbies and responsibilities are constantly tugging away at our soul. Our actions tell us who the winner is.
The only person responsible for how we spend our time on this Earth is our own. As human beings, passions will come and go, but our souls rarely take to harsh treatment. Think about your priorities next time before you promise more of yourself than you are willing to part ways with.
As human beings we are inherently social creatures, however in a world where media is at our fingertips it can feel like we are making fewer deep connections than ever.
Between the social media machine and a necessity for validation from our peers it can become easy to spend hours searching for something that you simply won’t find in the current model online.
Instead of blaming ourselves first, as individuals it is important to understand the structure and world we are entering in order to understand how to be successful. Listen in today to find more meaningful connections in an everchanging online landscape.
Self care is a term that has become popularized over the past years, and thrown around more than we care to count. The question remains though how much care do we actually need to acknowledge.
In our lives there are things that we agree are necessary among all human beings but rarely ever congratulated. Taking responsibility for ourselves and showing up in the best way possible is one of those things.
Think about the ways in which you take care of yourself before others and if that needs its own category or should just exist naturally in our own lives. Putting ourselves first for the good of those around us shouldn’t be an oddity in today’s society.
How can I be as efficient as possible? Constantly reconsidering and pressuring ourselves to be the best that we can possibly be with the short time that we have.
Time is the only resource that we can’t get more of. We are told by some not to waste time and by others to take as much time as we need, but what is the right approach.
At times we feel overwhelmed and overworked and all we want to do is turn our brains off at other times we compare and shame ourselves for not doing more.
Think today about which state you find yourself in relative to your own time. Sometimes A to B can be a lot more complicated that we would like it.
Outside of our friends and family, there is an abundance of opportunity. Opportunity manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes in people, ideas, or experiences. Change is scary. We have talked about that many times. Staying the same is equally as scary and exhausting. The mental, emotional, and physical energy expended to keep things the same is enormous.
Rather than building a taller fence in order to keep others out, think about building a longer table. That same amount of work, will garner a multitude of opportunities you never before may have heard of or thought of.
By being selfless and curious we can ultimately create a position of growth for not only ourselves but other parties as well.
We are creatures of habit, and often deny change. While habits can be good, oftentimes they can become monotonous and lead to a “going through the motions” passive lifestyle.
Think about how you are showing up today. Are you feeling, aware, and living for the moment? Or are you mindlessly drudging through tasks that simply have to get done.
We all have routines, most often ones that work well and have been for months even years, but sometimes that can allow us to get stuck just think about getting through things rather than embracing them.
Rituals on the other hand, have meaning and a message behind them every time we perform them. Think about all the rituals you or your family have and why they are important. Then think about the routines in your life and why they have lost their importance.
Whenever we are taking new steps and pushing ourselves to grow we will get knocked down. The most important part is that you have people around you to help pick you back up.
Rather than embarking on a journey alone, when we fail with support around us it gives us the strength to not put too much pressure on ourselves.
Now more than ever our brains our flooded with input all day every day, on top of what we are already thinking. Focus on blocking out the noise to approach one thing at a time.
The power lies in doing. Plagued by fear we can feel anxiety in that we are afraid of what could go wrong so we never start or that we are never doing enough as others.
Harness the power of your mind to let go of doubt and recognize it as a deeper response, that is only passing in the moment disconnected from who you are.
This episode starts with Shane and Dennis discussing resolutions, some of the common pitfalls and the ways in their own life they have seen goals achieved and goals failed.
Think about how your goals this year align with your values and the longevity your habits could have.
Finally, take time to visualize before starting this year’s journey and the place you could see yourself in, and if that place comes from internal or external validation.
This episode leads off with Shane and I discussing the beginning of What Is Humans? Almost 10 months ago, with now 45 episodes we are closing in on nearly a whole year of What Is Humans?
We discussed why we started, the wins throughout the journey thus far and we talked about the struggles or opportunities for the future. This windy road continues on as we reveal some of our plans for 2022.
Think in your life as we all make resolutions for the new year of what can be for you and your team in 2022. As always we are ever grateful for all of the memories thus far and all the others still to come!
With Christmas right around the corner as well as a start to a new calendar year, think about the future and its unknown journey.
Just like religion, people for hundreds of years have used faith as a way to cope and achieve the impossible. What role does self belief play in achieving your goals?
Take time to think about your spiritual development and the ways that belief combined with action can push you towards things that you could have never dreamed of.
Black ice is invisible, you can’t see it, but it’s treacherous. It comes up without warning and when we least expect it no matter how cautious we are.
In life there are obstacles of all shapes and sizes that do the exact same thing to us as black ice, but that possibility of falling must not prevent us from starting.
Once we begin we can accept that we will get knocked down, and embrace the failures so that we can learn from black ice.
Every year we run to the stores to get the newest gift, or something we think someone else will like. This can be stressful on everyone.
In a material world, truly the only thing worth investing in is one another. Invest in your relationships and the future of those relationships.
Clothes, technology, and gift cards get used and thrown out, memories and relationships last a lifetime. Think about how you are investing this holiday season.
Physically it’s easy to see things changing around us this time of year, weather, decorations, and the amount of sunny hours in the day.
Think of the ways that we are reflecting during this time and what stops us from pushing forward during this holiday season.
As seasonal depression can creep in during this time of drastic change listen to the ways we can take a step back, reflect and ultimately instill hope into every day.
All over the world, the holiday season exists in every culture. Gifts are exchanged, food is eaten, and bread is broken.
It’s easy to get caught up during this time of year or look at our lives through rose colored glasses. As this season approaches, don’t forget about the small things all year long.
Small battles, journeys and missions have been attempted and fought all year long every day. Take the time to recognize your daily work, not just now at the end of the year, but the small wins throughout.
Jealousy in today’s modern digital world is more common than ever. We constantly are flashed highlight reels of peers flaunting their happiest of moments.
While we have been told by society and even on this podcast to ignore comparison, and be thankful for our own journeys we can’t ignore the feelings inside ourselves.
Think of the ways jealousy can point us in the direction towards things or goals that we may want. Purpose is often hard to come across, but the way we find it looks different for everyone.
Mirrors are an underutilized tool that create stronger recognition, acceptance, love of oneself if used correctly.
By exploring experiences with reflection and questions around identity, habits can be created with and without the mirror for self love.
Listen today as Dennis and Shane explore how they use their reflection to see themselves and create a stronger relationship with themselves.
Sleep, it takes up a third of our lives, however we barely think about it. A seemingly effortless task that seems hard to truly master.
A critical action to living longer and becoming your best self lies in deep sleep. Think about how you can make this forgotten habit a powerhouse to fuel your days.
Listen in today as Shane and Dennis explore ways on how to improve their sleep and why it is foundational to improving their life.
As social beings we are constantly seeking acceptance and approval as we navigate the win/loss competitive nature of everyday life. Learning from successful team leaders can help.
To be the best leader or choosing who to follow is not about extroversion, public speaking, and specialized, but truly more about service abilities of effort, communication, and team focus.
Listen, today as Shane and Dennis discuss what makes up a successful team in the various forms of teams in everyday life.
Every person has a limit physically, mentally and spiritually. The way you go about pushing that limit is entirely up to the individual.
To be your best, you must know yourself and your body. Think about the ways you build your health, both mental and physical to be the best that you can be.
Listen, today as Shane and Dennis dissect two world class human beings and the way they navigate the mental and physical hurdles of high pressure situations.
There are 24 hours in a day, ideally 8 of them are for sleeping and 8 are how you make a living, but what about the other 8 hours.
Think about your time and how you protect it. Are you always scrambling constantly looking for a life jacket? Do you give yourself time to be free to express yourself and pursue your passions?
Dream big, and live a full life. Don’t let disorganization stop you from becoming your best self outside and inside of work.
Our ability to listen, feel and respond dwindles as we cut ourselves off from differing opinions and ideas.
Opinions are judgement without fact. Confirmation bias can leave us entrenched in what we think we already know. Push yourself to seek to understand the opinions and ideas of others to strengthen your own.
In today's society we find ourselves more divided, overloaded with information, and struggling with Identity. Dennis & Shane reflect on their lives and identify some tools to help with this.
What does it mean to be humble? What does it mean to be ambitious? Is one more important? These are some of the questions that are explored and this episode of what is humans.
In today's society we must pursue the acceptance of failure with the confidence that we will succeed at some point.
Listen today and reflect where you lack in drive and compensate with modesty. The absence of one will lead to the death of the other.
Is life fair? With so much hardship, pain, and loss the common answer to this question is no it is not. Can that perspective be limiting?
We will not make the case that there aren't negatives in this world because we know certainly there are. Today we are asking ourselves how we can make use of the positives and accept our realities.
Listen today if you want to create more agency in your life. Given we are coming from different places we must accept and seek gratitude in order to make change for ourselves.
A streak is an act or habit that we continuously do without missing a slot or opportunity. These can be positive or negative and ultimately consume our lives if we let them.
Create a positive environment for the streaks you want to continue, so that you can control the flow state of your own life.
A streak is not your identity, they will come and go, but the lifestyle that you create lasts much longer. Make sure that lifestyle is one you want to live with.
Think about what that higher purpose or calling is for you as an individual or if you currently have one at all. How does that thing keep you pushing and moving forward?
If you feel lost or at odds in what your higher purpose or calling maybe look to the things you are already a part of in life, groups, teams, leagues, churches etc.
As you narrow down your different groups take inventory of the things you take responsibility for within those groups and how you can move the needle forward in your life.
Today Dennis and Shane discuss the differences between specialists and generalists and reflect on where those behaviors show up in their life.
Is it better to be a generalist or specialist? How do you know which one you are and or identify areas? Why is it important to reflect on areas or comfort/discomfort?
By looking at areas of comfort we need to seek for obstacles to further specialize and grow. If we don’t have passion in a subject, that might be a sign for us to try new things and generalize.
We give out our word constantly, but how important is it to keep it. Today work on reflecting on all the places that you give it out.
How much it means to you and to others. The way that others count or rely on ourselves is a huge indicator of the stress that we put on ourselves.
As you take inventory begin to focus on how to regain some control of our word and limit the amount of things we say yes to throughout the week
What are rules? How are rules related to values? How do we know when we should break the rules?
Shane and Dennis go into examples and ideas around rules to get a better understanding of what they are. If rules are the how in behavior values must be the why.
By listening today we hope you are able to better identify values and create and or remove rules around those values. This may lead towards a better understanding of oneself.
We are human beings who itemize and compare our whole lives in order to more quickly make decisions and recognize things.
Naturally we compare and contrast apples from oranges and circles and squares to see where we stack up.
Listen to the ways today that we discuss the psychology of comparison, and the limiting factors that keep us from discovering our own destiny.
As kids we constantly are asked what we want to be when we grow up however as we grow up fear, pressure, and anxiety make those dreams seem impossible.
Re-explore the child-like wonder of your youth and the ways to live it out. Time and responsibilities often make it seem impossible of who we are truly supposed to become.
Time is finite, and it is often taken for granted. Rather than thinking of time as the minutes, hours, days and weeks of our lives, begin to periodize time and emphasize the experiences during that time.
Take the time to reflect on time spent during a typical week in your own life and find where you may be inefficient in rest or in motion. Then take action on the goals and dreams in your life in order to create deadlines for the experiences that make up our time.
Be strategic in thinking about the time we spend and the fulfillment that it brings to our lives. If we feel unfulfilled we will naturally begin to feel regret as we look back on time spent and the lives we might have had.
What is a difficult conversation? How do you recognize them? Are difficult conversations always in a negative setting or can they be in positive settings too?
Dennis and Shane go into scenarios of where these conversations are had in relationships, work, and within themselves. By first highlighting where they come up next allows us to plan to face them.
Difficult conversations and choices essentially make up our reality. If we want to be someone or live up to our values, we must have the ability to have these conversations to steer our ship of life.
What is a rivalry? How do you define it? Imagine having an adversary that pushes you to be your best often times in ways that feel patronizing or down right agonizing.
How can we recognize and respect those that are trying to directly compete with us as individuals, teams and companies?
Competition, and more specifically rivalries at their best reveal our strengths our weaknesses and our character. Listen in today and think about the people around you that make you become your best.
In today’s show Shane and Dennis explore gratefulness, their environment, and self love as antidotes in dealing with external validation.
If we are always trying to live like we are “supposed to” we’re never going to truly live the way we are meant to.
Whether we are unsatisfied, or stressed out, life constantly pushes and pulls us in different uncomfortable ways. Today we discuss the ways to find fulfillment in the supposed.
By looking at examples Shane & Dennis both have seen & experienced, they question areas for growth and stagnation.
Staying close to the sun is crucial to take a pulse on your surroundings and support yourself on the journey of life.
To care is to believe in something so passionately that you will find a way in whatever capacity. Although what happens when you care about something that conflicts with others ‘why’?
Caring can be an incredible strength, but also a big deterrence on teams and relationships. One if it limits you from listening and being open to others ideas can limit you in your team's path toward growth.
By listening today we hope that the ideas shared can help you make sense of relationships, teams, and various situations that you face to help you grow in vulnerability and life.
Authenticity is the acceptance of the individual on its own unique path.
By owning the narrative of one’s own life we are able to become comfortable with accepting ourselves fully.
By living an authentic life that is to say you are living a free life, thus allowing yourself to be the best you can be.
Join us today to understand what authenticity is, how to express it, and why it is so crucial to share your own unique experience.
By taking ownership of the happenings in our own lives we are able to gain more control of the outcomes both good and bad.
The tricky part is being vulnerable and admitting when those results are bad, and the hand that you played in them.
Vulnerability leads to ownership, and extreme ownership comes from including everyone in on the plan wherever you are in that plan.
The “path” less traveled is a concept of how we should navigate life through highs and lows and everything in between.
In today's show Shane and Dennis discuss what is the path less traveled and how do we find it? Is there really a path for you or is your outlook on life?
After listening today we hope you have a few tools to reflect on your “path” and use these tools of failure, fear, gratitude, and many more ideas discussed to help you take the path less traveled.
The present is the only thing that truly exists, however so many of us are constantly wrapped up in plans for the week or month as well as highs or lows of our past.
By being present in both the highs and the lows of our own lives we as humans are able to accept and process emotions as they happen as opposed to letting past events control us for years to come.
In this episode learn how to logically be more present in your own life. It will allow for the possibilities of your future to become much much more clear.
All the time things happen in our life that are simply out of our control. Whether they are good or bad the only thing we can do is react.
Our reaction and mindset in life, on the other hand is controllable. Changing one’s mindset to recognize the opportunities that lie in every interaction, not just the good ones.
In today’s episode, think about your approach to life, and how far you have come already. You wouldn’t be the person you are today without the good and the bad of your past. Once you can accept that you begin to take control.
Energy vampires are any person or thing in your life that zaps the energy not only out of the room but out of your life.
As we navigate different facets of life from work to acquaintances there are often unavoidable obstacles, the important definer is noticing what gives and what takes away from our energy.
Take time to reflect on your own life and think about the ways you can identify and approach energy vampires, often as most things the solution is internal rather than external.
Cancel Culture has been in existence since the beginning of man. The invention of social media has once again offered a new way for humans to criticize one another with little room for discussion.
Rather than exile those with complicated pasts or views it is important now more than ever to seek answers instead of hiding behind insecurities that we maybe harbor ourselves.
Listen in today and think about forgiveness, reconciliation and forward progress...potentially the only way any of us move forward from any traumatic event.
Escapism is the idea of removing yourself from your reality to get away from certain things. Dennis and Shane debate whether or not escapism is important.
Topic ranges from addiction, habits, avoidance and asking ourselves why we escape.
By listening today we hope our listeners can look at what habits of escapism they have and ask themselves is this of value to me?
How are habits formed? Where do they come from? How do you remove bad habits and replace them with good habits? These are a few of the questions that we dig into.
Today Shane and Dennis look honestly at some of the good, bad, and ugly habits they have in their own lives and why they are there. Both see challenge and path towards making change.
After listening today we hope you find it an opportune moment to evaluate some of your habits and take some of our methods to apply into your own life
What does doing your best look like? What gets in our way? How do you know you did you best? These are some of the questions we should begin to ask ourselves.
Today Dennis and Shane discuss the challenges they face with trying new things and explore how they are looking to break these barriers.
After listening today we hope you find the courage to start wherever you might be. By removing judgment, fear, and expectation nothing can hold you back from doing you.
Assume-”suppose to be the case, without proof.” That is the definition of assumption in the dictionary, specifically without proof.
Today we look at the breakdown in communication that comes from assuming something about others or something about ourselves. We become so used to daily occurrences and actions that people take in our lives that we often don’t ask why they do them.
Often we assume others will take action or help us without asking if they can/will first, maybe because it's quicker, but oftentimes it stems from a fear that they won’t.
What is the Id, Ego and Superego and where does it show up in your life? Can you have a healthy ego or is it the enemy?
Today Dennis and Shane talk about their battles with ego and where it has shown up in their own lives. Through swapping stories they realize how much of lives and decisions have been dictated by allowing the ego to take the driver's seat.
We hope by listening today you can relate to some of our stories we shared and maybe it gives you the opportunity to think about your own ego.
Have you ever wondered how basic inventions were created? Those of sonar technology that powers telephones or radio waves, the utensils we use to eat and drink everyday, and other overlooked items.
Today Shane and Dennis take a look at nature as the origin for most if not all of human beings' inventions. These range on all different levels and will certainly have you looking around in the backyard to see what next great invention is lying in the trees or at your feet.
Be mindful while listening to the ways that we can observe the natural world around us and learn and mimic it’s behaviors from plants to animals as well.
Shane and Dennis discuss the idea of food as a natural medicine for our bodies from similar and differing viewpoints.
Shane believes in a plant based diet and has practiced that for over three years now, and firmly believes in the healing power of not only food for weight loss but other killers like heart disease, stroke, etc.
Dennis tries to offer a differing viewpoint as he has practiced plant based eating with Shane as well, but does not currently practice like Shane.
Listen as Shane and Dennis discuss the benefits of a plant based diet, the way to start and the challenges that are associated with trying something different that is such a necessity.
Looking at their own use of social media and how it has personally affected their lives. Dennis and Shane question if these tools are tools.
By taking a look at the nature of social media, how they profit, the very language used and much more, Dennis and Shane look to see if these are valuable to them and ask if there are better ways to engage with them.
We hope that listening today doesn’t give you the answers, but helps you to start asking better questions.
Today Shane and Dennis look more deeply at where Identity comes from and how they have seen different identities playout throughout their lives.
In today’s episode the hosts share laughs and question who they are and what makes them, them.
By asking these questions we hope our audience can take this to look at themselves to find truly who they are. Instead of allowing the external labels define you.
Today starts with Shane and Dennis discussing where they came from and the length and origin of their friendship.
Their own personal paths and the ways that they have managed to reconnect and start a podcast about the conversations that they have been having for 6 years now.
The first episode features “identity” the role that it plays in human life, but also that specifically of our co-hosts Shane and Dennis.