The Business of Connection: Recent Episodes
Quentin Hafner
Life is all about relationships. It’s improved connections that makes all of our lives more meaningful and more rewarding. Whether we’re trying to connect better with our teams at work, or we’re trying to connect better with our loved ones at home. This show brings you understanding, insight, practical tools, and even the economic case for improving our relationships to ourselves and others. I’m your host, Quentin Hafner. I’m a licensed therapist, author, leadership consultant, and guide for helping people grow their relational and emotional health. We are all in The Business of Connection.
In this episode of Success Defined, I have an awesome conversation with my friend Andrea where we share each others perspective of what it means to be a high-value man.
In this episode, we outline the top-10 attributes necessary to be considered a high-value man amongst other high-value men and women.
We discuss how being high-value shows up in love relationships and in our professional worlds.
If you want to take your life to the next-level, you have to understand how these attributes are the cornerstone building blocks of massive success for men.
If you were interested in learning what Go Next-Level the book is all about, I have uploaded the first chapter of the book, which sets the framework for the rest of the Go Next-Level 9-part Blueprint.
Chapter One of Go Next-Level is titled, Architecting Your Ideal Life which helps the reader / listener understand the imperative of creating a powerful and compelling vision for their life and business that sets the stage for all of life success.
I hope you enjoy it!
Making big life decisions usually go two ways: we either move impulsively and end up regretting the decision, or we get paralyzed with indecision and end up making no decision at all.
In this podcast episode, I provide you with a 5 part framework you need to use to make any and all big life decisions, with a special emphasis on the last part of the framework.
Here are the 5 parts to making a big life decision:
- Filter the decision through your core values
- Filter the decision through your vision for your future self
- Solicit feedback from objective partners
- Reconceptualize what "failure" means
- Understand your level of commitment to the decision.
Have a listen and let me know your thoughts!
Are there lots of complaints in your relationship?
In this solo podcast, I talk about how we should look at complaints, and what is the healthy masculine response. Complaining is a bid for one person to communicate a deeper sense of pain within themselves to another person. When we understand how to receive complaints, and the proper lens to look at them through, dealing with complaints gets so much easier. People complain as a means to connect and if we understand the need for connection, complaints are easy to roll with.
If you want to protect your relationship, you have to develop a new paradigm of criticism and complaints.
In this episode, we have a story of an incredible transformation. My client Scott, who's life came crashing down when his wife left him and he lost his business all in the same year. Through a windy road of personal and spiritual renewal, Scott rebuilt his life, his business, and his family and shares with us how he did it all; on this episode.
Scott is a successful entrepreneur in Orange County, CA who owns a digital marketing agency helping small businesses grown their business through AI and social media. Scott can be reached at:
Scott@empmediagroup.com
UNSTOPPABLE WHEN WE FIND OUR PURPOSE
**In order to become Unstoppable and achieve everything we want in life, we have to discover our big Why. Discovering our Why is getting clear on the uniqueness for the purpose you have on this earth. You are unique, with unique attributes, desires, history, and experiences. And no one is like you. And you have a unique purpose to fulfill on earth. When we look at the most successful people in life, they are clear about their unique purpose in life, and so we want to follow in their footsteps and also discover what that is for our own lives.
What is going to cause us to wake up early, work hard, sacrifice and pursue that Ideal Life? The answer lies in discovering your Why. When we get clarity in our Why, and we pursue with intention and tenacity our Ideal Life becomes an outcome and positive unintended consequence of pursuing the Why.
Simon Sinek, in his NY Times Best Selling book, Start with Why says it this way:*“Working hard for something we don't care about is called stress: Working hard for something we love is called passion.” - Simon Sinek.*
Too many people are working hard on the wrong things.
In this solo episode, I talk about all of this and more. If you're feeling like you could do more in life, or do more of things that excite you, shoot me an email and we can talk about discovering your own Why.
In the latest episode of The Business of Connection Podcast, I have a fun and informative conversation with Jenna and Kristen from Mainspring Family Wellness in Newport Beach, CA - a full-service parenting resource center for busy families looking for solutions to family challenges.
Kristen and Jenna and the go-to experts on all things parenting, especially for parents navigating a chronically busy, and status-driven culture such as Orange County, CA. Parenting in Orange County requires a unique set of skills and tools to equip parents the best, and we talk about all of this and more throughout the show.
Jenna and Kristen left us with 8 great parenting tips for busy Dads, but here are the Cliff Notes:
- Be present, technology down.
- Listen more before you fix.
- Identify your strengths as a parent and go with that.
- Understand your limitations.
- Be teachable.
- Manage anger in healthy ways so you model that to your kids.
- Recognize the special role you play in your child's life.
- Parent as Unified front. Do not undermine each other in front of the kids.
I love getting advice and perspective from people like Jenna and Kristen because it's always so applicable for my own parenting journey of two little boys. I hope you enjoy the show, and here is how you can reach Jenna and Kristen:
IG: Instagram Page
W: Online Parenting Resources
Phone: (949)478-1733
Email: info@mainspringfamilywellness.com
In today's episode of The Business of Connection, I talk with Nathan "Carnage" Corbett about the strength of being open and vulnerable in male friendships.
We talk about aggression, masculinity, fighting, being vulnerable and all sorts of fun topics.
Many guys struggle with the idea of being vulnerable as a weakness, so I wanted to interview literally one of the toughest guys around and hear his take on why it's not only OK, but important for men to open with each other.
Nathan is an 11 time Muay Thai Boxing World Champion with over 65 professional fights, with 59 wins (44 wins by KO).
Currently, Nathan teaches Muay Thai and his famous Carnage Elbow system at Rising Sons Muay Thai in Newport Beach, CA. Nathan is the Muay Thai coach to many of the top UFC fighters.
Nathan can be found at IG: https://www.instagram.com/carnagecorbett/
For people that identify as being high-achievers, there is a constant tension between knowing when we’re working too much, and when we’re not working enough to achieve our goals. A word that gets tossed around sometimes, is the work “workaholic”, which is this idea that our work becomes a sort of addiction.
In today's episode, I'm with my friend and super smart dude Uriah Guilford, where we talk about workaholism and go through these questions and more:
- What is workaholism? (commonly held definitions)
- What’s the difference between workaholism and being just a hard worker?
- What are the signs of workaholism?
- Why does workaholism happen?
- What might be the upsides of workaholism?
- Why is workaholism bad for your relationship, family, physical health, etc. And what happens if it’s not addressed?
- Any action steps for someone that feels they might be struggling with this? Or for a family member of someone who might be a workaholic?
Questions like these, and many more are the focus of today’s conversation on The Business of Connection. Today, I interview my friend Uriah Guilford…..Uriah is a multi-business owner, and Business Made Simple certified executive coach. In our conversation today, we discuss the pros of working too much, the cons, and how to assess where you’re at in your own life around this topic. I’m really excited to share this episode with you and I hope you get something from it!
For more information about Uriah Guildford and his business consulting services, he can be reached at: uguilford@gmail.com
What an ambitious podcast right!?
My friend Dr. Andy Garrett and I talk about how our unique identities forge the way for our unique purpose in life, love, and business, and Andy brilliantly lays out a process for anyone to discover how they are uniquely different and the unique purpose that is the outflowing from this place.
We cover some questions like:
- How we discover our unique purpose.
- What tends to be the greatest barriers to people living with purpose
- How getting to know yourself - and turning this self-knowledge into a simple - but practical blueprint for how to make decisions that reflect what is most important and meaningful to you.
- The role that autonomy plays in creating a life of purpose?
- How understanding your core values is critical to knowing your purpose - and living Authentically.
- How true purpose should be intrinsically motivated?
- What role does our identity play in establishing our purpose?
- How understanding what true virtuousness is - can help you discover your purpose?
Without understanding our unique identities, our unique core values, and our unique purpose, it makes life and relationships a real challenge. In order for any of us to be truly successful, we have to know who we really are, and how this translates to showing up in the world. I hope you enjoy our 60 minute conversation!
Dr. Andy can be reached here:
https://ag-thrive.com/about/
If you've ever felt frustrated with the back and forth blame cycle of relationships, then this episode is for you. I talk in this solo podcast about a concept called "Extreme Ownership" and how this applies to relationships both personally and professionally. Have a listen and shoot me an email if you have any questions about any of it. e: info@QuentinHafner.com
When we take a look around, particularly on social media, we see so much division.
The world, and sometimes even our families, can get divided into camps of “good guys” and “bad guys”. Of course, the world is never this simple, and when we don’t know how to have conversations that unite, things become divided.
Unfortunately, this division is taking place inside some families and business teams, which is just too sad and tragic.
Creating more unity with the people we care about is simply about engaging best practices with our ability to communicate with each other.
In this short solo podcast, I talk about an essential 3-step process to creating more unity with the people we care about.
If your family or business team feels divided, take the lead by watching this video and practicing these 3 steps; my promise is that it will bring a greater sense of unity with those you care most about and put a halt to the unnecessary and challenging tension.
Cheers to building unity,
Quentin
In today's episode, we’re having a conversation with a special friend of mine, John Davidson. John is a psychotherapist and happiness coach in the UK, and the owner of Happiness Hacks, an international training program to help people increase their level of happiness.
John knows a lot about happiness and we cover some really important ideas in this show!
We talk about: What are some unique challenges or obstacles to happiness and fulfillment to those that are busy professionals?
Is there a difference between happiness and fulfillment?
There’s so much in the world that promises to make us happy. More money, new jobs, new relationships, material possessions, etc. Why don’t these things ever really make us any happier?
What are the secrets that happy people know about happiness, that others don’t?
How can someone listening cultivate more happiness in their lives?
You can find John Davidson here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/happinesshackspodcast/
Website: https://www.happinesshacks.net/login-here
Podcast: https://happinesshacks.podbean.com
Everyone's drinking more since COVID-19. 🙋🏼♂️
That's not necessarily a horrible thing, unless it's becoming something you're struggling with that's negatively effecting your life. I did this podcast with a friend where we talked about:
The 4 Secrets Top-Performing CEO's Know to Keep a Healthy Relationship with Alcohol.
Although we did this podcast for a group of CEO's, It doesn't matter is you're a CEO or not, it can be useful and valuable information for anyone that wants to fine tune their relationship with alcohol.
It's long (51 minutes), but it might be valuable if you or someone you love could use some encouraging thoughts on this topic now.
In this latest episode, I interview Marriage and Family Therapist, Vanessa Cain, LMFT, about what parents can do right now to parent well during this time of being full-time parents while working from home.
In this episode, Vanessa talks about 5 helpful parenting must-do's for busy parents:
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Make Meaning
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Self Care.
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Follow a flexible schedule.
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Teach mindful breathing to your children.
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Make “fun” family time a priority.
Vanessa give some great insights into parenting during this time, and we hope you find it useful in your own parenting journey right now.
In this episode, I have the pleasure of interviewing Philipe DellaMonica, the head instructor at Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu U.S. Headquarters in Irvine, CA.
Philipe manages and oversees Brazilian jiujitsu instruction for over 700 customers; one of the largest BJJ schools in the world. He is also:
· BJJ coach and cornerman for UFC champions TJ Dilliashaw and Rafael Dos Anjos
· BJJ National champion
· BJJ European Champion
· BJJ World championship medalist
· BJJ Pan ams medalist
· BJJ Multiple times IBJJF international open champion.
And seriously...one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. I had the honor of discussing with Philipe his natural leadership style of being open, caring, friendly, and extremely personable and how this contributes to his success in life and in business.
Philipe can be reached on IG at philipefurao and at https://graciebarra.com/irvine-ca/
This is a quick 13-minute episode where I discuss 5 things we can all do to help those around us feels more psychologically and emotionally safe.
Providing an emotionally safe environment has never been more important than right now. Whether you're managing a team at work and want to create enough safety so employees remain loyal and committed, or you're trying to help your kids feel more safe as a parent during these changing times, these are the 5 guidelines for all of us to follow.
In this show, I interview my friend and personal business mentor, Jeff Zakaryan.
Jeff worked as a senior marketing executive for a Fortune 500 company before leaving the corporate world to become an executive coach. While working as an executive coach to some of the most prominent CEO's in Southern California, Jeff and I met each other and developed a friendship that later turned into a mentor/mentee relationship.
In this episode, here are some of the things we talk about:
**Why has it been important for Jeff to dedicate his time and energy to mentoring?
**How should we see the role as a mentor? What do mentors actually do?
**What is the the greatest value mentors provide?
**Why do you think having a mentor is essential? And what might happen if we didn’t have one?
**In all your experience coaching high-level executives and mentoring entrepreneurs, what is the ONE THING you’ve seen that limits the potential of individual’s or organizations?
**How has mentoring others helped you grow as an individual?
**What would you say to anyone listening to this episode that doesn’t have a mentor, or doesn’t mentor others?
In today's episode, we’re having a conversation with a special friend of mine, Chris Williams, LMFT. Chris is a leadership consultant, a relationship therapist, and the owner of a group counseling practice in Orange County, CA.
Chris specializes in relational and emotional health working with leaders all across the country.
Here are a few of the ideas we chat about in this show:
**Now more than ever, this is when being a leader is tough. You have a group of people depending on you to “have it all together” in some ways, but you might not feel like you have it all together at all. You might be really overwhelmed too. What are you seeing with the leaders you work with right now in how they’re generally handling all of this emotionally?
**As the cliché goes, it can be lonely at the top. Many leaders don’t have an outlet to be honest with their own emotional experience. How should leaders process their emotions during this time, yet balance the need to be seen by the people they lead as not falling apart?
**If leaders adopt the mentality of “staying strong” by denying & suppressing their emotions right now, why could that be a bad thing and what is the potential hazards of not being honest with yourself. (And conversely, what is the upside of being able to process your emotional experience right now?)
**Where are the safe places for leaders to really experience their emotions right now?
**What is the ONE piece of advice you would give to any leader right now that is feeling overwhelmed by the prospects of the future, but also needs to demonstrate leadership capabilities to their team?
Chris can be reached at: https://www.renovaricounseling.com/chris-williams
In this quick 13-minute episode, I share a story about a friend of mine who's daughter is out of state in college quarantined in her dorm room and why she prefers to stay there as opposed to coming home to the safety of her family.
This story is applicable for any of us who are parents, or if we oversee people in a leadership role in our jobs. I explain why hardship is a necessary ingredient to develop our character, our resilience, and our self-worth as people and how we can all benefit to look at the COVID-19 crisis through a lens of personal development.
I hope you enjoy this short episode!
If you’re married, then might have experienced a challenging time over the last few months with the advancement of COVID-19. For many people, the COVID-19 experience has become a traumatic event triggering heightened emotional stress responses, i.e., flight & flight. Whenever couples are experiencing fight & flight stress responses in a relationship, it can feel emotionally unsafe and wildly conflictual.
A fellow therapist friend, Kerry McCoy, LMFT, and I did a 45-minute podcast on how the worldwide collective traumatic experience of COVID-19 is impacting marriages and what we can do to stay connected to our spouse during this challenging time. We talked about the different responses people have to trauma and how this might show up in marriage.
Kerry and I both practice a type of therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy with couples and its main focus is to increase the security and sense of safety in relationships; something that is needed more than ever now.
At the end of the podcast, we leave you with 5 Connecting Questions During COVID-19 you can use to engage your spouse in a conversation around how this collective trauma may be impacting them, and how you can get re-connected and find your emotional footing.
Intro music by:
"Beauty Flow" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/