The Anti Average Project: Recent Episodes
The Anti Average Project, Erin Hall and Jesse Leimer
Hosts Jesse Leimer and Erin Hall, keep it real and honest with you as two recovering perfectionists tackle relationships, parenting, work, faith, and everything in-between. We've let go of the unrealistic standard of perfection but are constantly pursuing more - no matter what it takes. Welcome to the Anti Average Project.
Introducing Not Your Average, a new and vulnerable podcast where your host, Erin, pushes past the bullshit and opens up about starting something new from a place of simultaneous strength and fear. Most important takeaway: just show up anyway.
While this episode teases a newsletter that was well-intentioned, it was poorly executed. I cannot wait to pop into your inboxes soon and will be sure to update all relevant links when it's ready.
In the meantime, come hang out on Instagram @notyouraverageerin and let me know who and what you're excited to hear about next.
xo
-E
Talk Suicide CanadaIf you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call Talk Suicide Canada at 1-833-456-4566 (24/7) or text 45645 (4 PM - 12 AM ET). Or dial 988 if located in the USA.
Episode Summary
When everything is uncertain and the future is unknown, what do you do? We've been doing this podcast for a year and we've loved every bit of it, but we are on the brink of the unknown in many ways. We aren't sure what's next, but we wanted to end our second season by offering how you can face seasons of uncertainty.
What is Marriage Mentoring?
Did you know that couples are 31% less likely to get divorced if they get some sort of marriage training before they marry? Not only that, but couples who participate in marriage programs experience a 30% increase in marital success and fulfillment over those who do not participate.
Whether you're preparing for marriage, just got married, or looking to improve your satisfaction with your marriage, we believe that Marriage Mentorship is the most effective way to increase your marital satisfaction. For more information, go to our website at theantiaverageproject.com/mentorship.
Episodes Mentioned:
Establishing a Family Day - Season 2 Episode 13
Making Date Nights Great - Season 2 Episode 10
Find Us On Social Media:
Instagram: @theantiaverageproject | @mrs.erinnicole | @jesseleimer
https://www.facebook.com/theantiaverageproject
This week we sit down (virtually) with Barrie and Natasha Thiessen to talk about talking - or lack thereof. With their wealth of knowledge stemming from marriage mentoring and personal experience, these two certainly know how to fight right and how to communicate so it rarely gets to that point. Join us for a hilarious conversation that’s as real as they get !
In a world that is hyper-sexualized and increasingly desensitized to physical boundaries, how are we as Christians supposed to respond during singleness, dating, and newlywed? In this week’s episode, Jesse and Erin debate how the church has perpetuated sexual ignorance by not proactively starting this discussion and setting young people up for success instead of shame.
Find us online:
@theantiaverageproject
@mrs.erinnicole
@jesseleimer
Episode Summary
We are often asked the question, "What do I do if my partner doesn't believe the same things as me?" This is a question we all need to wrestle with because it can cause major conflicts down the road in any relationship. In this episode we talk about the importance of spiritual alignment before getting married and even when you are married.
What is Marriage Mentoring?
Did you know that couples are 31% less likely to get divorced if they get some sort of marriage training before they marry? Not only that, but couples who participate in marriage programs experience a 30% increase in marital success and fulfillment over those who do not participate.
Whether you're preparing for marriage, just got married, or looking to improve your satisfaction with your marriage, we believe that Marriage Mentorship is the most effective way to increase your marital satisfaction. For more information, go to our website at theantiaverageproject.com/mentorship.
Find Us On Social Media:
Instagram: @theantiaverageproject | @mrs.erinnicole | @jesseleimer
https://www.facebook.com/theantiaverageproject
Resources Mentioned:
Date Night Ideas and Resources - theantiaverageproject.com/datenight
Find Us On Social Media:
Instagram: @theantiaverageproject | @mrs.erinnicole | @jesseleimer
https://www.facebook.com/theantiaverageproject
Connect with Andrea online: andreatorraville@gmail.com
On Instagram: @andreatandrea | @andreatresume | @carlilance
Resources Mentioned:
Les Brown (quote) - "If life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up."
The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu
When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner
Find Us On Social Media:
Instagram: @theantiaverageproject | @mrs.erinnicole | @jesseleimer
https://www.facebook.com/theantiaverageproject
We are both recovering perfectionists and we know the endless struggle to be perfect all too well. Jesse is a textbook perfectionist and is a One on the Enneagram. It goes without saying that Erin knows a thing or two about living with a perfectionist. We get into topics of self-worth, communicating expectations, and how perfectionism is a self-preservation tactic that can be damaging long-term if it goes unchecked.
Learn more about Marriage Mentorship
Follow us on Instagram
@mrs.erinnicole
@jesseleimer
We've just launched our website along with resources for our listeners. Go check it out at theantiaverageproject.com
Enneagram Test - https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test
Follow us online!
Erin - @mrs.erinnicole
Jesse - @jesseleimer
1K GIVEAWAY
Follow us on Instagram for our 1K Giveaway to win a free SYMBIS Assessment and three marriage mentorship sessions, along with a $100 Gift Card for your next date night.
@jesserleimer
@mrs.erinnicole
OUR WEBSITE IS NOW LIVE
https://theantiaverageproject.com/
__________________________
“You know, the matrix says, ‘Pick an identity and stick with it. Because I want to sell you some beer and shampoo and I need you to stick with what you are so I’ll know how to market it to you.’ Drag is the opposite. Drag says, ‘Identity is a joke.’” — RuPaul
Follow us on Instagram for our 1K Giveaway to win a free SYMBIS Assessment and three marriage mentorship sessions, along with some gifts for your next date night.
@jesserleimer
@mrs.erinnicole
DaveRamsey.com
mrmoneymustache.com
Well Heeled: The Smart Girl's Guide to Getting Rich
MINT by Intuit
TD MySpend App
We have reached the end of 2020! But we didn't get here by accident. It was intentional. At the end of every year we have a "Family Summit" where we review how we've done over the past year in key areas and set the course with goals and directions for the next year. New Years Resolutions are good, but we want those goals to be as successful as possible. In this episode we get into how you can evaluate how you're doing, craft some powerful resolutions, and create an anti-average life that beats the statistical odds of New Years Resolutions.
If you haven't heard yet... WE'RE PREGNANT! It gets better though. We also planned it! I know. We're crazy. We often had to ask ourselves: Are we ready for a second baby? This episode we talk about how to know if you're ready for another baby, how Jesse feels about being the dad of an (spoiler alert) all-girl club, and why we think having two under two could be the best thing ever.
We truly count it a privilege and a blessing to raise up little world-changers. It is wild to think that what we do now in terms of parenting will shape who our daughter becomes, and we think that's pretty awesome!
This episode we talk about Alinea and the wonderful little human she is, some of our hopes and dreams for her, and how she's been influencing us for the better (and worse at times - it's not all sunshine and rainbows here!). We're dedicating this to Alinea and you can consider this to be some bonus content for the Anti Average Project!
We are launching season two of the Anti Average Project, and we got a lot to catch up on. We talk about transitioning from maternity leave back into work, our first year as parents (sleep deprivation is no joke y'all), and some things we are looking forward to. We got lots coming down the pipeline this season so be sure to be checking in weekly on Thursdays for the latest Anti Average content.
We think it's safe to say we've all struggled with body image issues. Whether you've bought into the hyper masculine view of being a muscle-bound male or you're a woman just not comfortable in her own skin, we all need to hit to reset button and view our bodies with health in mind. We talk about how you view your body affects your relationship. As relationships evolve and grow, so does physical attraction, but what do you do when your partner starts gaining a few pounds? We get into all that and more in this week's episode of the Anti Average Project.
If there was one question that would guarantee connection with your partner would you want to know their answer? Could you listen without getting defensive or interrupting? This week we talk honestly and answer a key question that we keep going back to increase intimacy in our relationship (even if it’s hard at first).
Reach out and let us know your thoughts or any other topics you want us to cover on Instagram or Facebook @theantiaverageproject
Just another friendly reminder that we are not doctors, therapists, or experts in this field. This is simply a conversation about our genuine experiences. If you or someone you know is struggling, we really encourage you to talk to someone who can help - a health professional, a family member, or a hotline (If you are in immediate danger, please call 911 or go to your local emergency department or Crisis Services Canada - call 1-833-456-4566 anytime or text 45645 from 4pm to midnight).
Goodness, I really hope we're not alone on this one, but how the heck do you make friends as an adult?! In a world that feels maybe more disconnected than ever, yet we have almost everything and everyone at our fingertips, At this point, it feels like we've tried it all and some things have really worked and others have full-on flopped (ahem...Bumble). We talk about what's worked for us, whether or not men have a "validation" code, proximity friendships, and how to cultivate deep meaningful relationships that last. What do you think? How have you found or built quality friendships? Let us know by reaching out @TheAntiAverageProject on Facebook or Instagram or find us individually @mrs.erinnicole and @jesseleimer and tell us what you want us to talk about next!
After taking last week off to listen, learn, and amplify Black voices, we are returning with part 2 of our discussion about achieving work-life integration! In this episode, we dive into personal drive, how to empower and motivate your spouse (especially when you’re chasing different personal goals), and whether or not we think you really can have it all. Let us know your experience and tell us what your thoughts are @theantiaverageproject on Instagram and Facebook!
As two pastors, our marriage and ministry go hand in hand, but we haven’t always worked at the same place or at a church. This is arguably one of the biggest areas of our lives that we wrestle with and are constantly having to revisit. In this episode, we tackle why boundaries isn’t a bad word and share what we’ve done to attempt to create a healthy integration between work and the rest of our lives.
Honorable mentions:
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook 6th Ed. by Edmund J Bourne PhD
PRE-BABE
While trying to get pregnant, intimacy became a means to an end for us, which was calculated down to the most minute detail. This meant Jesse had to become twice as intentional to elevate the experience and set the mood. If you’re trying to get pregnant and it isn’t going well - first of all, we see you and we’re giving you a huge virtual hug - our best advice is to have fun, let lose and try to keep it spontaneous (as much as possible when you’re taking daily fertility tests).
DURING PREGNANCY
Time to buckle up and give all the compliments, foot rubs, clean the house, and set the mood! If you’re going on a babymoon - keep it realistic (i.e. Disneyland wasn’t our brightest moment). But more important than anything else, give yourself and your partner GRACE GRACE GRACE. So much GRACE.
KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE WITH A BABY
Now with a babe, we’re only 8 months in, but so far we’ve found the following things are so crucial to stoking the flame and not just co-parenting:
- recognize that intimacy is so much more than just sex
- maintain a date night as regularly as possible
- consider couple’s counselling
- key moment expectation check-ins
- weekly business meeting
- if nursing, share the burden (if possible)
- the simplest sexiest phrase husband’s could ever ask (33:20)
- carve out time for yourself
- lean on people further ahead than you and open up
- stop comparing
- MORE GRACE
Honorable mentions:
Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
The Real Life Podcast by The Bethkes
This week we expose the real reason we got married as young as we did and discuss whether or not you should too. Marriage definitely isn’t something to take lightly, but we didn’t treat dating like it was either. As we approach our fifth wedding anniversary, take a trip down memory lane with us and be prepared to ask some tough questions about whether or not you’re ready to take a trip down the aisle.
In this episode, we hash out a conversation that we have daily. WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?! What am I supposed to do next? Am I living out my life's purpose and what I am called to do?! We believe that time is your most valuable resource and while it’s likely on your side, there is no better moment than now to start leveraging it for your benefit by tapping into your innate passions and talents.
Like many of you, we've been social distancing and staying at home amidst the coronavirus pandemic. In this episode we get into what we've learned about each other (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and how we are spending our time and maintaining some level of sanity. Join the conversation as we dive into all things quarantine.
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of your SO, parent, child, roommate, or coworker? In this episode we walk you through how to handle conflict with courage and courtesy. Our top tips will help you not only avoid murdering those close to you in quarantine but will also help your relationships thrive in the real world.
Our story is not conventional or average by any means. We're going to share with you how we walked through our long distance relationship, cancer diagnoses, sudden unemployment, and a whole lot more.