The Easy School of Hard Knocks: Recent Episodes
James Newcomb
Hello, my name is James. I sell suffering. It's probably the last thing that anyone would want to buy, but its value is priceless.
Of course, you don't buy suffering at Wal-Mart (although visiting Wal-Mart is its own brand of suffering.)
Suffering just happens. Sometimes it's your fault, sometimes it's not your fault. Irregardless, your response to said suffering defines who you are as a person, an entrepreneur, a performer, what have you.
When I say I'm selling suffering, what I mean is that I'm encouraging you to have the right response, a response that will move you forward toward your mission.
This is easier said than done. You ask a room of 100 people if they respond positively to suffering, probably 97 hands will go up. The thing is it's the 3 who didn't raise their hand who have hope of dealing with suffering in a healthy way, for the simple reason that they're honest about it.
The 97? It could go either way. Perhaps one or two of them really have learned to respond to it in a healthy way, but I'd say the vast majority are delusional, telling themselves and others what they think is the "appropriate" response.
Suffering DefinedSuffering. It sounds so...negative. When I hear the word, I have images of tears, hardship, being wronged, being hurt physically or emotionally.
The word suffering can be used in more than one way. One of those ways is to "allow," or "tolerate." In the King James Version of the Bible, Jesus said, "Suffer the little children to come to me." This was not negative at all. He was saying, "Allow them to come and sit next to me."
Being allowed to sit next to Jesus Christ. Depends on who you ask, but that doesn't sound negative at all :)
Let's use the word suffer in some familiar contexts, and replace it with the word "allow."
"Suffered the loss of a loved one."
"Allowed the loss of a loved one."
"Suffered an injury."
"Allowed an injury."
"I've suffered greatly since losing my job, primary client, etc."
"I've allowed greatly since losing my job, primary client, etc."
I'm not trying to suggest that suffering should somehow mean something it doesn't. It always has and always will have a negative connotation. Using it in the context of "allowing" or "tolerating," however, gives it an optimistic sense, for the reason that it's not permanent. Well, death is permanent. You're probably not getting that job back. And you can't unbreak a bone.
Tolerating, allowing these permanent things means you've accepted them. You've taken whatever blame you might bear and have made whatever restitution you can. You don't blame others, pointing fingers at how others failed you, etc.
At the end of the day, allowing these things that appear negative is empowering. You're in control, not of the circumstances, but of your reaction to the circumstances.
What do we really fear most of all? We don't fear losing our job, our mom, our ability to walk.
We fear the loss of control that comes as a result of these things.
When you allow negative experiences in your life, you're in control. Maybe not of the situation, but of your reaction to the situation. You're not the hapless victim of circumstances; you accept your circumstances. Whether you're at fault for them or not is irrelevant.
This too shall pass.Whether good or bad, everything changes. The mark of maturity in my opinion is the person who doesn't get stuck in the present, for the present soon enough becomes the past.
As I said in my podcast about crystalizing beliefs, your reaction to your circumstances, be it positive or negative, immediately slides toward good or bad thought patterns, and eventually hardness of heart.
Something bad happened? This too shall pass.
Something good happened? This too shall pass.
A baseball player knows all too well that being the hero one night and the goat the next is just part of the game. And so it is in life when you allow yourself to dwell on what happened yesterday, or last month.
You get the big head because you had some victory, and you get arrogant and say something stupid. Next thing you know you're in hot water with your boss. Or your wife. Or maybe those are synonymous.
When I say that I sell suffering, I mean at least two things. First, I've suffered myself. I could go on for 30 minutes about the struggles I've dealt with in my life, things that would leave the average listener/reader at a loss for words because they're just so unusual. But that's my life, and I've accepted it.
I don't share personal struggles with anyone unless I think it has the ability to somehow help them. I'm certainly not looking for anyone's sympathy or an "atta boy." I say things to be relatable, to help people understand they're not the only one who is suffering in this world, that they can allow what's happening to them and use it to pursue their mission in life.
What Is Your Mission?If you don't have a clearly defined mission for your life, your suffering will get the best of you eventually. Your mission for your life doesn't need to be anything profound. It could be as simple as making sure your mom is taken care of in her old age. That's simple, noble, and helps keep things in perspective when plans go awry.
It's funny the way suffering seems to come in full force once you have a clearly defined mission. Just in the last few weeks as I've begun to publish and promote The Easy School of Hard Knocks in full force, I've suffered. No one has attacked me personally, no one has tried to interfere with this business in any way. Quite the opposite. In fact, if someone were to attack me personally or try to interfere with my business, I would feel strangely at peace because I know at least someone cares.
Indifference is the worst possible suffering. Your pour your heart and soul into a project, be it a business, a performing group, a blog, what have you. And no one seems to give a damn.
This is worse than the nagging wife or mother-in-law who just doesn't "get it" on why you need to be doing this. That at least gets you emotionally charged, and galvanizes your resolve to succeed at it, if nothing more than to get her off your back.
But when no one responds to your calls to action - buys your product, attends your concerts, listens to your podcast - it sucks. There's no nice way to put it. This is a type of suffering that is often overlooked. It's not as sexy as "suffering" the loss of a loved one, or "suffering" through an injury. These are public sufferings, they evoke sympathy from others.
This type of suffering evokes pity from others. They think to themselves, "Why is she still doing this thing? Why won't he wake up and actually provide for his family's future?"
Let's take the alternate meaning of the word "suffer" we discussed earlier and apply it to these crickets and tumbleweed we see and hear in the first days, months, even years of our passion-project-we-hope-becomes-our-livelihood. We're not "suffering" in the sense of something negative is happening to us. We're allowing for this to happen. We know that every business, performing artist, blogger, podcaster, etc. goes through this.
There are no exceptions.
Sure, some A-list celebrity starts a podcast and they get a million downloads in their first week. That's what we call an overnight success, 20 years in the making. If you're a dock worker with 2 close friends who meet at the pub every Tuesday who's decided to start a podcast, you'll have different results.
Accept it. Allow for it. Allow it to make you better at what you do. After all, we all need room to suck before we're ready for the big stage.
In a recent episode of The Trumpet Jungle podcast, my guest Timothy Conkling talked about how we should "always perform, never practice." What he means is that even when you're "practicing" i.e. analyzing errors, honing your skills, playing slow, etc. pretend people are listening - because more often than not, people are listening. In the hallway at the conservatory, neighbors in the apartment, etc.
Think of those first days, months, years the same way. Sure your two dock worker friends listen to your podcast, but you're getting better, you're putting out the best possible product, you're preparing for the day you have 1000 people listening. And then 10,000.
What good is suffering, if no good comes of it?The worst kind of suffering is that which produces no value. Viktor Frankl, the eminent psychologist who wrote the all-time bestseller Man's Search for Meaning, suffered far more than most people in today's world can ever conceive while he was interred in a Nazi concentration camp in the 1940's.
If you could sum up his book in one sentence, it would be this: Suffering for no reason is the worst possible suffering. Not that we should applaud or take pleasure in the circumstances, or the people responsible for our suffering (including ourselves). Finding the meaning in suffering is the greatest discovery you can ever make.
In Frankl's case, he was gifted in the analysis of human behavior, and also gifted as a writer. His discovery of the meaning in his suffering has helped tens of thousands of people work their way through their own brand of suffering since he published his book in the 1940's.
There are countless examples of how people have used their suffering for good. Oftentimes, it's a mere change in perspective that makes all the difference. Here are a few that come immediately to my mind:
- The paraplegic who hates it when people say he's "confined" to a wheelchair. He says his wheelchair liberates him, it allows him to go places he wouldn't ordinarily be able to go by himself.
- The athlete who gets injured and can no longer do what she has done for all her life; during the solitude of recovery, she hears and answers a calling far more noble than shooting a ball through a hoop.
- The symphony musician who loses an audition for what he thinks is a "dream gig"; only to win a gig somewhere else and meet his spouse or the teacher that puts him on a different but far more rewarding career path.
I could go on and on. You could too, I'm sure.
The moment you see the good in your sufferingProbably the one person on this earth who has suffered more than anyone in history is Jesus Christ. We've all heard the story of how he suffered and died for humanity. What torturous, agonizing suffering it was, and in public no less. It wasn't in the confines of a prison with just a few witnesses to watch. Anyone and everyone can watch if they so choose.
Another group of people that suffered greatly was his disciples. Imagine giving up everything that is near and dear to you and living off the land with an unknown yet strangely charismatic itinerant. This person is constantly at odds with the leaders of his own religion, which means you can never stay in one place for long. Moreover, you often don't even know where your next meal is coming from. This perhaps seems a bit extreme, but you've personally witnessed this person you're following heal people of incurable diseases, and speak with authority into the depths of man's heart where only legitimate Truth can make its way.
Now imagine this person you've followed for the best years of your life is convicted in a court of law of high treason, is given the death penalty, and his sentence is executed in the most horrific, public, humiliating way possible.
If that was me, I'd be discouraged. I'd be having some serious self-doubt, not to mention constantly on edge, just waiting for the knock on the door when the authorities came for me, one of his closest friends and confidantes.
Now imagine you hear a knock on the door a few days later. While you hide somewhere in the house, you have someone go to the door with the intent to lie and say they don't know where you are. But it's not one of Caesar's Jackboots coming to arrest you. It's the man who's just been killed in full view of the entire town. This man comes into the house, and tells you that he knew exactly what he was doing all along. He willingly submitted to the power of the state so that the will of God could be accomplished.
That's exactly what happened to Jesus' disciples immediately after he was killed, dead, buried, and then brought back to life by the power of God's Spirit. And what power it gave these men! So much so they were empowered to start what we know today as the Church.
Would they have felt this confidence if Jesus hadn't been falsely accused and executed after committing no crime? I would think not. It was their suffering, and then realizing their suffering served a purpose that gave them the confidence to share what they knew to be true with others.
"You're not being that person because you have the resources; you're being that person because you're open to receiving those resources."That is one of the nuggets of wisdom you'll find in this episode of The Easy School of Hard Knocks Podcast.
Jarrod Haning is a performance mindset coach, a fellow musician (Sana insisted we include the viola among the ranks of legit instruments, so blame her) and all around great guy.
Jarrod is also the author of The Thinking Patterns of Success, currently on pre-release. I put my name on the list to be notified when the book is available and will soon devour the awesome bonuses he provided.
I've been following Jarrod's work on social media for some time and really appreciated his take on the COVID-19 issue that has literally shut the entire world down. So I wanted to have him on the podcast to pick his brain on how to have a healthy response to this. Whether you believe the response by governments around the globe is warranted is irrelevant; the fact is the world is different.
How you respond to your circumstances will define your future moving forward.
Here are a few highlights from my chat with Jarrod, and a few comments from Sana too.
-Why the mass quarantine and global shutdown is actually a safety net for many...-Everyone needs to reinvent themselves; entrepreneurs don't need jobs, they create jobs-The two questions you need to be asking yourself right now:1. Who do I want to be right now? (Not what do I need to do, i.e. bills, mortgage, etc.) 2. What would I need to believe in order to be that type of person?
-No one knows what the future will hold-Call friends, ask what they need, start conversations-Money is a byproduct of the conversations you're having-Become a provider to your competitors, past clients, current clients, etc.-And much more
How appropriate that my first guest on The Easy School of Hard Knocks podcast is my own wife. Her name is Shafieh Dorry, but everyone calls her Sana.
I don't know how many times Sana and I have been in conversation about any number of things...life, politics, perspective, suffering, what have you... and I just wished we would be recording our conversation because she has so much value to share with others.
Sana is a person who has suffered and been victorious at varying points in her life, but she doesn't wear her feelings on her sleeve, and she doesn't use her experiences as a ploy to gain pity or sympathy. She has lived and survived and has much wisdom to share with others as a result.
Sana and I are deciding what role she may play in the future of this podcast. Although that remains to be seen, I'm glad we were able to sit down and record a quick chat.
In it, you'll hear:
- The meaning of the name "Shafieh" and why everyone calls her Sana
- Why she is a member of Iran's "forgotten generation"
- Contrasts between Iranian culture and Western culture
- Why she identifies w/ the Iranian culture 26 years after moving away from Iran
And much more...
If you'd like to help us defray the considerable costs of obtaining a visa for Sana to live with me in the United States, I invite you to check out our page where we've created some fun stuff for you to partake and help out with a donation. jamesandsana.com
I recently featured my friend and pastor Tim Conkling on my sister podcast, The Trumpet Jungle.He spoke, rather eloquently I must say, about the root cause of performance anxiety.
With all due respect to the Rev. Dr. Timothy G. Conkling, I must take issue with several of his key points and I want to set the record straight.
Performance is something I take very seriously. Flawless performance I dare say is the only acceptable performance in my view.
I've heard countless lectures on dealing with performance anxiety. A few years ago, I hosted a podcast and even produced an entire course on performance anxiety.
All the "experts" say pretty much what Tim said in the trumpet podcast. "Check your ego at the door. Forget your mistakes. Live in the present."
That all sounds good and it's not like I was going to rudely disagree with my guest on the podcast, but can we check in to reality for just 15 minutes before we return to the altruistic fantasy that what we do is some sort of service to humanity?
We've more or less settled on the magic number of 10,000 hours it takes to master a craft (thank you, Malcolm Gladwell.) An instrument, copywriting, painting, podcasting, what have you.
That's 10,000 hours of back-breaking work. Tears, sweat, probably a little bit of blood thrown in there too. And that's just to achieve mastery level. God knows how many more tens of thousands of hours will be invested in our craft when it's all said and done.
And we're supposed to believe we do it for others? I'm not buying it.
play WW quote
In the series finale of Breaking Bad, Walter White finally concedes his true motivation for getting involved in the drug trade. For well over a year, he's told his wife Skylar that he did it all for his family. He's personally done or organized mass murder, he's lied to his own wife countless times, he's literally set fire to everything he touches. And it's all justified by his desire to provide for his family in wake of the death sentence he received with his cancer diagnosis.
And now, his own death being but a few hours away, he shares this moment of clarity with his wife (who's life is forever ruined) where he acknowledges that he indeed did it all for himself.
Would that we all had this clarity in our motivations, particularly when it comes to public performance: speaking, playing, acting, singing, what have you.
So, having a better understanding of why we perform, along with a sterling example of that motivation, let's take a deeper dive into some of Pastor Tim's points from The Trumpet Jungle podcast.
What's at the root of performance anxiety?It all comes down to you giving a shit what other people think of you.
Why would you care what anyone thinks about your abilities as a performer? They didn't put in 10,000 hours into your craft, YOU DID. If they criticize you for making a mistake, screw them. What do they know? Nothing about performing at a high level, that's for sure. If they did understand, they would know better than to say anything, right?
In the event that some slob criticizes your performance, and believe me they will, especially if you make a mistake, it's important that there is no confusion on what you're dealing with so you could perform for them.
The air conditioning was too high; it was turned off. You didn't get to properly prepare because your kid had a meltdown before you left the house. Someone in the back of the room was making a distracting noise.
Like any of this is your fault. Reminding people of these circumstances which are completely out of your control will perhaps make them appreciate what you're doing for them, but I wouldn't count on it, at least in my own experience.
Tell them anyway. One can only hope they'll think twice before criticizing another performer without thinking about how difficult it is to do what you do. You just might be saving a fellow virtuoso performer the headache of dealing with their gripes in the future.
How to deal with mistakesWe're all imperfect. At least that's what we've all been told since we were kids. I've come to realize that people who utter such nonsense do so to justify their own mediocrity, their failure to attempt anything of any meaning or value in this life.
What the vast majority of people on this earth fail to realize, due to this apathy toward excellence, is that perfection is not only possible, it is to be expected by any serious performer.
If you make a mistake, it's because you didn't care enough to properly prepare yourself, plain and simple. If this sounds harsh to you, perhaps you should evaluate how committed you are to performing at a high level.
People will tell you not to worry about it, that they didn't even notice the mistake until you pointed it out to them. Screw them and their fetish for subpar living. Just smile as politely as possible, then let them have their milkshake with their shitty friends after the concert; you've got work to do.
You are the virtuoso, not them.
You're the one who has devoted your life to the pursuit of excellence. By what merit do they say it doesn't matter?
The harsh reality is that people are going to remember that mistake. I'm sorry, but it's true.
"Some virtuoso," they'll say after they politely smile in your face. "He just couldn't deliver when it mattered. What a waste of talent."
It's up to you to ensure that a mistake does not repeat itself under any circumstances. Allow your psyche to wallow in the shame you rightfully feel. Feel the pain, the inadequacy. Resolve in your mind that is the last time you'll ever make that mistake; never again will you allow the circumstances that contributed to it.
How to overcome performance anxietyThis is where the fantasy needs to end. You'll never "overcome" performance anxiety, stage fright, the jitters, whatever you want to call it. You chose this path, you need to accept the harsh realities of the gig. Got dry mouth? Sweaty palms? Tough. That's part of the hardships of your craft. If you can't handle that, there's not need to fear. Uber is always hiring. Maybe you'll be privileged to drive a true professional to one of their gigs. Maybe some of their motivation and work-ethic will rub off on you.
Well, that was difficult to write. I got nervous just thinking of the right words to write. I hope you've figured out that my commentary to this point is an over the top, blatantly exaggerated example of how the ego left unchecked drives our thoughts, and consequently our actions. (Using Walter White from Breaking Bad as my model should have tipped you off.)
However, I must admit that I've had those exact thoughts in my own life and performing career in one way or another. The ego truly is the enemy, as author Ryan Holiday says. It must constantly be held in check.
I actually agree with 95% of what my pastor and mentor says regarding performance anxiety. (If you haven't listened to my interview with him on The Trumpet Jungle podcast, you should do so. Here's the link.)
The only point of his with which I might deviate is that we shouldn't be afraid to admit that what we do is for ourselves. Not to the point that we engage in situational ethics (the end justifies the means) but simply being honest about our real motivations. I've heard more altruistic musicians virtue-signal about how they're doing what they do for the betterment of humanity, and I'm just not buying it. These people are often poor and highly critical of other musicians who have overcome that barrier to achieving real success in their craft, i.e. impacting as many people as possible. It's no crime to admit that you do what you do to improve your own life and the lives of your loved ones.
You work hard to become the absolute best you can be at something. There's nothing wrong with admitting you do it for yourself. But don't be an ungracious jackass about it. It is possible to do something for yourself and be selfless in sharing it with others, whether it be patrons, guests, audience members, what have you.
Have a good day!It seems so easy, doesn't it? But how many times do we try to pump ourselves up to do something great, only to find ourselves farting around on Fakebook at 10 am, wondering when the motivation to really work will finally arrive, telling ourselves we're grateful to even have a job?
And the cycle repeats itself day after day...
If that sounds like you, this pamphlet may be helpful to you. You see, motivation is great, but without a system in place to channel that motivation, it's not long before it becomes discouragement -- even despair if this cycle repeats itself too many times.
What you need is a set routine for your morning. Something you anticipate, something you look forward to happening, and eventually your mind and body literally aches for if you don't do it.
This episode will give some guidance and suggestions on setting your own personal morning routine. I use many examples of my own routine, but they're just examples. Over time, you'll eventually find what works best for you.
Just remember to keep it simple, remember the 3 M's, and you'll do just fine!
It All Begins the Night BeforeIf you're going to have a good morning, it's important to properly prepare your body and mind for a good night of sleep.
These simple steps will help point you in the right direction.
- One hour before bed, turn off all electronics.
- Wear a set of blue light blocking glasses.
- Avoid screen time, especially right before going to sleep. The activity and blue light in the screen will trigger the release of cortisol, which is also know as the "stress hormone". It will take longer to produce melatonin, the "sleep hormone."
- If you're having a hard time going to sleep, looking at your iPhone is the last thing you should be doing.
- Don't go to bed angry. If you and a friend or spouse have a dispute, try to resolve it. Or at least resolve that you've done what you can for that day and you'll discuss it again in the morning. Anger triggers a cortisol release and you'll have a hard time getting to sleep. If and when you finally do, it will be fitful and sporadic.
- Before going to bed, take a few minutes to engage in some self-care. If you're a spiritual person, thank your maker for a good day, as well as the restful night of sleep you're about to have. Read a spiritual or uplifting text for a few minutes and reflect on what you've just read. Share one thing, either with your spouse/partner or with yourself, for which you're grateful.
- Touching, kissing, making love with your spouse/partner releases a hormone called serotonin, which is called the "feel good hormone." If you sleep alone, try to make any type of physical contact with another person. Even a handshake or pat on the back can be very beneficial.
- Take a few deep breaths while sitting up on the bed, or on a chair. 4 counts in, 8 counts out, at ~60 beats per minute.
- Breathe through your nose as much as possible. Try using a mouth tape to keep your mouth closed while sleeping.
- Track your sleep with the Sleep Cycle app. It will give you a "sleep score" allowing you to track your sleep. An Oura Ring is a more expensive option if you fancy yourself a legit biohacker.
When You Wake UpHopefully you've had a good night of sleep, and you've woken up refreshed, rested and ready to face the day. These tips will help you get the day started right.
- Avoid screen time for at least an hour.
- Don't check your emails or do anything that will stress you out.
- Try to wake up as the sun rises. This will set your circadian rhythm in a positive way.
- Limit your intake of caffeine. One or two cups of coffee at most. If you're dependent on coffee to get yourself going, you're not sleeping well.
- Don't eat right away. Do this morning routine before eating, and when you do eat, have a couple pieces of fruit. You'll find you're much more focused and alert when you're hungry. Thus able to tackle those important, pressing needs first off. Think that will put you in a good mood?
"The 3 M's": Meditation, Mindfulness, MobilityMeditationIt's not as difficult as you might think. Although there are many forms of meditation, some of which take months if not years to master, at its core it's simply focusing on one thing and not allowing other thoughts in.
Here's a very simple meditation I do every single morning:
- Sit in an upright but relaxed position with your eyes closed
- Listen to the seconds tick on the clock, or on a timer on a device (you need the ticks, don't just set a timer) and count to 300
- When any thought other than the ticking tries to enter your mind (and it will try) push it aside. Literally say in your mind, "I'm busy, I'll get to you later."
- Try simple breathing exercises: 4 ticks inhale; 8 ticks exhale. If a breathing exercise causes you to lose focus on the ticks, stop
- Always focus on the ticking; don't allow any external noises to cause you to lose focus on it
That's a 5-minute meditation.
It's a far cry from an Ayahuasca retreat in the Andean Mountains, but it gets the job done. I guarantee the count to 300 will feel like it's nothing, and you'll probably want to go for more.
MindfulnessThis can be broken down into 4 tasks:
- Expressing gratitude
- Affirmations
- Reading a spiritual or inspirational text
- Journaling
Expressing gratitude is as simple as saying out loud, "I'm grateful for ___________". It doesn't need to be anything profound. It can be something as simple as, "I'm grateful for the sunrise," or "I'm grateful for my wife's sense of humor."
An affirmation is saying aloud something you know to be true. It is not something you wishwas true. It does you no good to "affirm" you're a millionaire if you're not a millionaire. However, you can affirm that you're doing the things you need to do to eventually be a millionaire, if that's your goal. If so, your affirmations might sound something like this:
- I'm wise with the money I earn
- I make sensible business decisions, keeping the big picture in mind
- I deal honestly and fairly with vendors and clients, even if it means a short-term loss
- Fill in the blanks appropriately depending on your goals in life
Every morning, I read the Bible. One chapter from the Book of Proverbs, usually the chapter corresponding with the date of the month, as well as another passage from the New Testament.
(BTW, I recorded the Book of Proverbs for people to listen in their car or at the gym. You can download it here.)
I'm not reading a business book, fiction, nor anything that will help me achieve any earthly goals or give earthly pleasure. It's purely for my spiritual health.
Other inspirational books I recommend:
- Man's Search for Meaningby Viktor Frankl
- 12 Rules for Lifeby Jordan Peterson
- Stillness is the Keyby Ryan Holiday
- Ego is the Enemyby Ryan Holiday
- Meditationsby Marcus Aurelius
- As a Man Thinkethby James Allen
MobilityMobility
Each morning, I do a series of 10 exercises that I learned while a member of the U.S. Army. Here's a video demonstration of the exercises.
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Bend and Reach (4-count, slow pace)
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Rear Lunge (4-count, slow pace)
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High Jumper (4-count, MODERATE pace)
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Rower (4-count, slow pace)
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Squat Bender (4-count, slow pace)
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Windmill (4-count, slow pace)
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Forward Lunge (4-count, slow pace)
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Prone Row (4-count, slow pace)
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Bent-Leg Body Twist (4-count, slow pace)
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Push-Up (4-count, MODERATE pace)
Another exercise routine I like to do is called the 7-Minute Workout. It actually takes over 7:50 to complete, but that's what it's called.
It consists of 12 exercises wherein you exert all-out effort for 30 seconds, and rest for 10 seconds between rep. All you need is a bit of floor space, a chair and a wall, so it's great for when you're traveling.
Here's a diagram of each of the exercises as well as a video with some amazing music and Yours Truly giving cues on when to start and stop.
Here's the video on YouTube
Light exercise in the morning will help you feel good about yourself, your day, life in general. It allows you to burn off tension you may be feeling from the stressors of life we all face. It will also help you cope with those stressors in a positive way. What seems insurmountable without exercise becomes a mere obstacle to overcome with exercise.
If you didn't get all that, get this...My morning routine is the most important part of my day. When I don't do it, I simply do not operate at anywhere near peak performance. When I do it, I feel like a million bucks -- beforetaxes.
If you take the information in this short pamphlet and apply it to your own life, I'm sure you'll see an improvement in your life, your relationships, your work, and your vision for the future.
Here's a brief recap of what we've discussed:
Your morning begins the night beforeAvoid screen time at night, and first thing in the morningWake up when the sun comes out to optimize your circadian rhythmAvoid a heavy meal in the morningRemember the 3 M's: Meditation, Mindfulness, Mobility
I hope this little pamphlet gives some helpful advice and tips on how to start your morning the best possible way. If you have any feedback, or any info you think would be useful for a future edition of the pamphlet, send me an email!
Sign up for the free webinar on how to craft your own Personal Identity Manifesto. Visit jamesnewcomb.io for the details!
Who are you? and what do you do?Basic questions you ask someone else almost automatically to strike up conversation.
Generally you give your name and your occupation. A plumber, a musician, a librarian, a student.
"I'm James, and I'm a musician."
"Oh, really? That sounds fascinating. Where do you play?"
The person asking the question isn't interested in how much I love music, nor the joy it brings me and others when I play my trumpet or cornet. They're asking, "Where do you work? How are you making yourself useful to the local economy?"
"Well, I don't play professionally. I do it for fun and am able to get a gig here and there when I'm needed."
"Oh. So...what do you do?"
And so it goes.
It's interesting how people identify themselves with their occupation. As though a decision they made under duress in the high school guidance counselor's office should be their identity for the rest of their life. Speaking of musicians, I know several who more or less had the decision made for them to be a musician when they were 8 years old. Sure, they had the opportunity to "make their own decision" as an adult, but when that's all you've done, when parents and teachers foist that identity upon you before you're old enough to know better, is that really a choice? It's not like you're going to go into insurance sales.
And we wonder why musicians are always depressed.
But I digress. I want to take a moment and discuss this:
Who is James Newcomb, and what does he do?These are questions I've been asking myself in one way or another for as long as I can remember.
In 1994, I ran away from home and joined the circus. Well, it was the Army but it was the same principle. I didn't want to go to college, and in spite of my recruiter's general incompetence, I managed to audition and win a position with the Army band. Not the Army Band in Washington, D.C.; I ended up at Ft. Stewart, GA, aka "The Armpit of the Army."
Shortly after running off with the circus, I became involved with a local church. Involved isn't the right word. I became obsessed with it. I even left the military and attended a small Bible college in rural Washington State with aspirations of becoming a minister. Sadly, I didn't become a minister. I kind of wish I had; it might have been fun.
In 2005, I worked for the John Birch Society, which has been known to hold some rather radical positions in its time. I never quite understood the concept of the Illuminati and its influence on U.S. foreign policy, but like the Bible college, this gave me a solid grounding in believing in principles and holding to them especially when they're unpopular.
In 2008, I rejoined the Army, this time in hopes of landing a gig with a professional orchestra somewhere. I ended up serving in the military for an additional 8 years before I was shown the door due to my, um, non-conformist ways.
I'm not the type of person who just does as he's told to do, who conforms to social norms and fads. I absolutely cannot stand doing something just to be doing something; just like I can't stand people who talk just for the sake of talking. I know almost nothing about popular culture. I'm an ignoramus when it comes to what songs are popular with the teenyboppers - this was true even when I was a teenybopper myself.
What has been the results of this mindset and lifestyle?
Well, it hasn't been boring, that's for sure.
Who I am today is the direct result of my decisions yesterday, for better or for worse. The last year or so, I've been asking myself, "James, who are you, and what do you do?" It has challenged me. It has caused me to take my fledgling online business in an entirely different direction than I would have imagined even 2 years ago. I've honed in on 7 "pillars" for lack of a better term that define who I am, and the actions that I do as a result of being those things.
Here they are, in no order of importance after the first 2...
ChristianI'm bought by the blood of Jesus. Saved by the grace of God.
I read the Bible every morning. My wife and I express gratitude before every meal. We read books that strengthen our marriage and our inner selves that are based upon biblical principles.
I don't do these things so that I can be a Christian. I do these things because I am a Christian. I'm a follower of Christ and live my life, make major decisions, upon the principles laid out in the Bible.
I'm not a perfect Christian. If you're looking to find fault with me, I promise you won't have to look far. But I am a Christian. I know the standards, and when I've failed to meet them.
That's known as sin - if you want to get really radical...
Here are some free resources I send to my newsletter subscribers.
Book of Proverbs in audio format. Click here.
Book: Success and Failure Redefined. A biblical view of success and failure. A classic by Robert Norton that I've republished. Click here to read it.
CapitalistIf I didn't lose you at "hello", I've surely lost you at, "It's nice to meet you."
I started my business because I believe in the power of the free market. Voluntary exchange between individuals toward peaceful ends.
I'm not an advocate for what's known as "crony capitalism", where major corporations jockey for favor with the government for the coveted "too big to fail" status. That's closer to fascism, but don't tell that to those Wall Street protesters denouncing capitalism with their iPhones communicating via signals emitted from satellites in space. (Something Pol Pot never would have thought of btw.)
It's not easy to stick your neck out like that. Starting a business I mean. The easy thing is to just work for "the man," have his accountants worry about your taxes, then use your "refund" to buy a swing set for your kids.
I could very well do that, but I choose not to because I'm a capitalist. An entrepreneur.
Still with me? The next few aren't nearly as divisive.
Resources I use regularly
Tom Woods, New York Times bestselling author and host of The Tom Woods Show.
MusicianI believe music is all around us. Not just in notes we play on an instrument or sung with our voices, but in the way we talk, the noise around us. Even birds sing beautiful songs while they express their dominance over the hot chick to the other birds.
Philosophical meanderings aside, I am a legit musician. I've played the trumpet and cornet for 35 years. I played professionally for many years, for the U.S. Army as well as orchestras and freelance work as a civilian.
These days I'm more devoted to podcasting (see below) but I still play regularly. It's difficult to find the motivation to play when I don't have any gigs to prepare for; and I believe I went through a period of burnout where I just didn't want to play at all. But I still make time to play my horn every day, if even for 5 minutes.
Because I'm a musician, and that's what a musician does. And it definitely brings joy to my heart when people comment on my playing, even if it's just playing basic exercises or simple tunes.
Here's a small sample of my playing. https://youtu.be/ojpNO2LRvFw
PodcasterI started my first podcast in 2015. It was called Outside the Music Box. If you google it, I think there are still some websites that have it in their archives.
I've run podcasts for trumpet players, as well as one focused on applying entrepreneurial principles to musical careers.
Due to circumstances entirely within my control, and a few that were completely out of my control, those podcasts did not get the results I was expecting.
I've found a bit of success operating podcasts for very well-established brands, most notably Ben Greenfield Fitness. That show gets downloaded over 1 million times per month and has an entire team dedicated to it. I've learned far more about business and operating a successful podcast than I would have with my own little show operating out of my living room.
I also have some up and coming clients who most likely will never have an audience anywhere near that size. Big or small, I love helping people get their voice out there via podcasting.
Story TellerLast year at a church retreat, we did an activity where groups of two people interviewed each other, then shared what we had learned about the other person in front of all the retreat attendees. I honestly surprised myself at how well I was able to ask pointed questions to the other person, digest what they had told me and share their life story in 5 minutes or less with around an hour of preparation. It wasn't merely stating a bunch of facts about the person; it was funny, heart-wrenching, and I had everyone spell-bound as I spoke. I got a round of applause for my efforts. That's when I realized I had a gift for story telling and should consider pursuing it in some professional capacity.
Speaking of podcasting, I currently have a little podcast that tells stories with an impactful meaning to them. Stories are absolutely the most effective way to teach anything, be it a moral principle, how to tie a knot, or learn the joy of playing music for other people. It's a passion project for now, although it may become more than that in the future.
Recently I was honored to narrate Boundless by New York Times bestselling author and host of Ben Greenfield Fitness, none other than Ben Greenfield.
HusbandI've been married two times. My first marriage sadly ended in 2018. No details are necessary, it just plain sucked. I mean, if it were pleasant there probably wouldn't be a need for a divorce in the first place, right?
I didn't want my only experience with marriage to be a negative experience. I wanted to do it right. And I wanted to set a positive example for my son on what a marriage should look like (more on that in a moment.)
I had to go to Vietnam, but I found a terrific gal who agreed to be my wife. I'm in Vietnam as I type this in March, 2020. We plan to have her move to the U.S. as soon as we get her visa approved. Getting to know and falling in love with Sana has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I'm truly grateful for her and the impact she has had on me, as well as the kindness she has shown my son.
FatherI'm the father of a 6 year old boy who currently lives in Virginia Beach, VA with his mom. Although the divorce has resulted in far less time with my boy than we spent together previously, the experience has caused me to take more of a birds-eye view of being a father.
I'm not just raising him, I'm raising his children too. What he sees in me, he'll teach his children. Setting a positive example that he'll mimic when he's an adult and pass on to his kids is simply more important than going to the park. Of course that's important, but that negative experience caused me to realize the true essence of being a father. A good example with less time spent together is far more impactful than a negative example while spending all the time in the world with him. It's not a choice that I made, but it's a realization I've made as a result of it.
Well, that's me in a nutshell. I could go on and on, but I've learned the value of minimalism. As James Clear says in his new book, Atomic Habits, you form habits for better or for worse based on how you identify yourself. If your only identity is your job, that's sad quite frankly. But if you take some time to identify who you really are, I can speak from personal experience how powerfully it will impact your life.
If you'd like to unpack yourself and find out who you really are, and what you do - and build your lifestyle around that - I host a free webinar every Friday on how to build your own Personal Identity Manifesto. To be included on dates and times, simply join my email newsletter and you'll be kept in the loop! I'll of course send you all of the above bonuses as thanks for subscribing: Proverbs in audio format, and Success and Failure Redefined.
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Today's episode is an excerpt from a recent episode of The Trumpet Jungle podcast, where I featured a stellar young trumpeter named Patrick Oliverio. Patrick was awarded First Place in the graduate division of the National Trumpet Competition in 2017. I asked him what he does to prepare for an important performance such as that one. This is what he said.
You can hear my entire conversation w/ Patrick at https://jamesnewcomb.io/patricko
P.S. I used two "pop" filters for today's episode title.
George Carlin's wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic George Carlin - the crude, oft-controversial comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent and so very appropriate.
An observation by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.
An excerpt from Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, the eminent psychologist who was interred in the Auschwitz concentration camp during WWII.
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Recently, the wife of the superintendent of the district where my son attends school was in hot water because of a rather foolish post she made on social media that insulted President Trump.
I discuss the incident, and why Trump, although he has said far more outrageous and inappropriate things, is superior to this poor lady.
It's all about control, i.e. of your emotions and your words. Trump is calculating with his words, which often appear to be ridiculous, knowing he'll get a strong reaction, be it positive or negative.
This woman, a no-name wife of a small school district superintendent was the reaction.
Alice hails a taxi.
Bob pulls over.
Alice gets in.
Bob asks, “Where to?”
Alice hands Bob a piece of paper.
Bob glances at it. It’s a list of directions:
“Turn left at the corner, turn right at the second light, stay left at the fork...” and so on.
It doesn’t say the destination.
Just step-by-step instructions.
It’s a long list.
Bob isn’t sure where they lead.
Three Scenarios:
-
Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. Bob doesn’t bother to ask where she is headed. He just takes the directions and follows them. They get to the end of the instructions, but Alice is not where she expected to be. She gets panicky and starts ordering Bob to do things like, “drive around the block” or “try the next street over”. Bob complies silently. Meanwhile, the meter is tick tick ticking away. Alice is getting more and more agitated. She’s now running late and her fare is ballooning. Bob has done exactly as instructed, but Alice is increasingly dissatisfied. They eventually find her destination. Alice begrudgingly pays $120 for the ride. Alice gets out of the cab and Bob drives away.
-
Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. When she hands them to Bob, he asks, “Where are these supposed to take us?” Alice says “123 Main Street.” Bob says, “These directions are out of date. There’s construction on this route and terrible traffic this time of day. I know a shortcut that will get us there in half the time.” Alice fears Bob is trying to scam her and she tells him so. Bob asks, “How much were you expecting the ride to be?” Alice says, “About $100.” Bob says, “I’ll get you there my way for $75. Deal?” Alice agrees. Bob gets her to the destination quickly and without incident. Alice pays the $75 fare and gets out of the cab. Bob drives away.
-
Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. When she hands them to Bob, he asks “Where are these supposed to take us?” Alice says “123 Main Street.” Bob asks, “Why do you want to go there?” Alice says, “It’s a flower shop. I need to pick up a dozen roses.” Bob says, “That shop is closed today.” Alice asks, “How do you know for sure?” Bob says, “Because it’s my shop. I drive a cab on my day off.” Bob continues, “As luck would have it, I’ve got a dozen roses in the trunk. I’ll sell them you for $60. Deal?” They both get out of the cab, having driven nowhere. Alice gladly pays Bob $60 for the roses. Bob gets back in the cab and drives away.
Three Outcomes:
-
Alice spent 60 minutes in a cab and is now standing in front of a closed flower shop. She has spent $120, is late for her next appointment, and still needs to figure out where she’s going to get a dozen roses. Alice is angry. Bob has driven his car down half the blind alleys in the area, endured an insulting amount of micromanagement, and been brow-beaten by a disgruntled customer for a full hour. For this, he grossed $120 from which he must deduct his time, gas, and wear and tear on both the vehicle and his emotional well being. Bob is dejected.
-
Alice spent 45 minutes in a cab and is now standing in front of a closed flower shop. She has spent $75 and but still needs to figure out where she’s going to get a dozen roses. Alice is satisfied by the cab ride specifically, but is distressed overall. Bob minimized his costs (e.g., time, gas, mileage, stress) and is enjoying the small rush of pride that comes from a job well done. Bob grossed $75, which is significantly less revenue than the $120 in scenario 1, but arguably more profitable because his costs were dramatically lower. Bob is energized.
-
Alice hasn’t had to travel anywhere. She has spent $60, is early for her next appointment, and is holding a dozen roses. Alice is delighted. Bob has eliminated his costs completely, sold a dozen roses for triple what he paid for them, and has delighted a...
Bill Galvin of the Center on Conscience and War joined me on a Skype call to discuss the modern conscientious objector, how the Center on Conscience and War helps those who identify as conscientious objectors lawfully be released from their enlistments or commissions, and several stories of people who have "hit a point of no return" and simply could not reconcile their views with their military service.
Learn more about the Center on Conscience and War.
It wasn't because he couldn't play football, that's for sure.
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Imagine this…You’re playing for the minor league affiliate of the New York Yankees. You’re a professional ball player, but you’re young, wet behind the ears – and inexperienced enough to believe you can do anything.
Then one day, you get a phone call. You’ve been called up to the major league club and you’re the starting pitcher in the playoffs…and you’re pitching tomorrow.
Chris Coletti can relate to this. In 2009, he was a young trumpet stud at the Juilliard School. He had just won an audition with a small town orchestra and was brimming with confidence in his budding career as a professional musician.
Then he got The Call. The Canadian Brass, one of the most esteemed and recognizable ensembles in the world of classical music, needed a trumpet player. And they wanted him.
Of course he answered the call. And there he was. Thrust into the spotlight. Headlining performances at tiny, little known venues such as Carnegie Hall. The Kennedy Center. Lincoln Center, to name just a few.
Some of the best and most accomplished trumpeters of our time preceded Chris. What big shoes to fill. Suddenly he had the pressure of performing at a very high level on the biggest stage possible in his world.
Perhaps you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t know if I could do that at that age. I think the pressure would be great for me.”
I suppose one could be forgiven for thinking such things. On the other hand, you probably don’t weed out potential life partners by singing operatic soprano arias and whistling violin partitas written by Johann Sebastian Bach. These are just a couple of Chris’ many talents outside of playing the trumpet…and is one of the reasons he’ll never pay for another drink in his life.
So 24 year old Chris Coletti answered the call. And boy did he deliver. In addition to adding operatic soprano singing to the Canadian Brass’ bag of crowd pleasing tricks during his 10 year tenure, he composed and arranged pieces, and delivered one dynamic performance after another.
Now ten years older – and wiser – Chris has decided it’s time to step away from the Canadian Brass. Why? Because in 10 years, his situation, his perspective, his priorities, have changed. He’s now a husband and a father. The glories of his role with the Canadian Brass were increasingly a stark contrast with the realities of parenting. It was simply time to step aside and make room for another person who is better equipped to carry the group into the future.
What you’re about to hear is the story of an individual who has given his heart and his soul to his craft. Chris can tell you what will emotionally move an audience of musical “civilians” and what will move an audience of musical aficionados who are nit-picking your every move. And you might be surprised to hear that it’s really the same thing when you get right down to it.
And now that he has moved into a new chapter of his life, you’ll hear about the decision to step away from a role that was glorious and deeply fulfilling on many levels, and into another role that is dirty, exhausting, inglorious at times – and right where his soul has him to be at this moment.
Here’s a sample from Chris’ blog (http://trumpetchrisblog.com) :
“Music is an art, a social art, one that is extremely rewarding from the first moment we experience it. As an educator, I find the most fascinating thing to be uncovering what makes each student tick–what drives them, what musical and career goals will make them feel fulfilled. Motivation comes in a variety of ways, and we teachers have in a uniquely influential job: to identify a student’s strengths and passions and turn them into a powerful and positive driving force in their life…”
A few of the more salient points from my chat with Chris Coletti:-Chris’ career aspirations as a young conservatory student-What is life like as a student at Juilliard?-To specialize, or not to specialize…-The foolproof method of winning a...
What has worked for me when it comes to New Year's resolutions.
To sum up: begin working the moment you make the resolution. If you wait until January 1, you've already lost.
Guess which one I value more?
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From the website, All That's Interesting...
https://allthatsinteresting.com/christmas-truce-of-1914
"Silent Night" from A Christmas Tribute to Mannheim Steamroller (c) 2012 The Westwind Ensemble
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How do you define success? What about failure?
Check out my brand new ebook, Success and Failure. I didn't write it. A British guy wrote it in the late 1800's. So the language is a bit dated, but the wisdom and principles in it are timeless.
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What are your thoughts on what I shared in today's episode? Drop me a line: james@jamesnewcomb.io
Dan Gable in 1966 decided that he wanted to win the 1972 Olympic Games. So, he started training. He trained at least once a day, and usually twice a day, and he had very injured knees. One doctor said, “Dan, if you keep wrestling, you might be crippled for the rest of your life.” Dan Gable kept wrestling. He found that wrestling on one leg made him a better wrestler than wrestling on two legs.
Las Wednesday, he talked about the year before the Olympics, he entered the biggest wrestling tournament in the world. Tbilisi is the capital in Georgia, and back at that time, it was still part of the Soviet Union.
So, they had this wrestling tournament, and Dan Gable won his weight class, and was given the Outstanding Wrestler Award. Now, wresting line Russia is huge, and at the end of their tournaments which are several day affairs, they had this banquet with 10,000 people where they honored all the champions, and they especially honored Dan Gable.
So, Dan Gable after he got all his awards, he went back to his table, and the head of the Russian Wrestling Federation is talking in Russian, and every once in a while he heard, “Goble, Goble, Goble.” He said to his buddy next to him who spoke Russian, “Is he talking about me?” He said, “Yes, he is.” He said, “What’s he saying?” He said, “I’ll tell you when he’s done.”
So, when the Head of the Russian Wrestling Federation was done, Gable’s friend said, “He said that between now and the 1972 Olympics, they’re going to every state in the Soviet Union, they are going to every school, they are going to every wrestling club, and they are going to find a person to beat the American Dan Gable in the 1972 Olympics.”
Last week, Dan Gable said something awesome. He said, “When he told me that sentence, all of a sudden, I got this excitement in my body. I said, ‘I’m taking it to the next level.’”
Now, when I told this story to my class a couple of days ago, this kid put his hand up, he said, “Hey, Doctor Gilbert, there have been other Americans who have won gold medals in wrestling. Why you making such a big deal about Dan Gable?” I said, “You’re right. There are others wrestlers who have won more than one gold medal in Olympics, but Dan Gable did something that nobody in the history of the world ever did.”
When Dan Gable won his Olympic gold medal in 1972, nobody even scored one point on him. He shut out each and every one of his opponents. That would be the equivalent to a pitcher pitching three no-hitters in the World Series. So, Dan Gable shut out each and every one of them.
Now, in the ramp up to the 1972 Olympics, he trained for six years, and somebody said, “What motivated you?” He said, “I knew I had to beat a Russian
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One day this expert was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration I’m sure those students will never forget. After I share it with you, you’ll never forget it either.
As this man stood in front of the group of high-powered over-achievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on a table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class said, "Yes." Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks.
Then he smiled and asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was onto him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. And he reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good!" Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked up at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things into it!"
"No," the speaker replied, "that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all."
What are the big rocks in your life? A project that you want to accomplish? Time with your loved ones? Your faith, your education, your finances? A cause? Teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these Big Rocks in first or you’ll never get them in at all.
Once upon a time there was a seed buried in the mud.
It was in dark blackness. It was cold and wet. It shivered. It was just plain no fun.
It was icky. It was dirty. It was muddy. It was mucky. It was stuck in the mud.
How it got there is a little 3 sentence story.
One nice breezy Fall day, it had fallen on the ground. Then it rained a little. And a deer came along and stepped on it and pushed it deep in the mud.
Life just wasn't fair. It was all alone. If only it had fallen like the other seeds in the grass, or on the log over there, or at least not been stepped on.
But what the little seed did not see was
the mouse that ate the seeds in the grass
and the bird that ate the seeds on the log
and the chipmunk that gathered the seeds on the ground to store and eat all winter long.
It couldn't see this because it was stuck in the mud. It didn't know how lucky it was.
Now besides being squished tight in the mud, it was also locked in it's shell. It tried to get out of it's terrible predicament, but the Fall days got shorter and shorter. It got colder and colder too. It had no strength to get out of its shell. The mud was frozen solid, the deep snow covered it. It went through a terribly cold and dark winter.
Finally, after what seemed forever, slowly the days grew a little longer, a little warmer. The seed had work to do. It began to grow.
The water in the mud had softened its shell. Still, how hard it was to get out of its shell ! It had to exert energy like never before. It struggled and struggled. Finally it broke free.
Then it used more energy to go not up, but down, struggling to send a tiny little root through that compacted mud -- that terribly icky place. It needed something to tightly hold on to, because........
...now it had to struggle yet again with great effort to send a tiny little shoot to the light above -- through all that icky mud. Finally it was free. It reached the warm sunlight.
You would think its troubles were over. Not so fast. In a whole year it grew only a few inches, while the other plants grew by leaps and bounds, as if to mock the little seed. Every fall it lost its leaves. In winter it barely survived, covered with snow. And as it got a little taller, it had to go through windstorms and blizzards.
But one thing was peculiar. Even while it slowly grew up to the sunny blue sky, it never forgot its roots. It had the wisdom to keep growing its roots deeper and deeper in the mud.
In fact, it used every wind storm, every blizzard, every shaking, every vibration to wiggle its roots deeper and deeper into the black icky mud.
It knew the importance of a solid foundation, because it always remembered where it came from, how it had been protected and helped by the mud.
The years rolled on, and the seasons too. Each summer it so slowly but surely grew. Each winter it became a little tougher and stronger. It had little joys and little sorrows throughout its life like all of us do.
Then came the fiercest of all storms. The wind blew so violently this way and that. Trees all around were dashed to the ground, broken, uprooted, a jangled mess.
After the devastation, the sun shone once again. To be sure, it didn't look so pretty, some leaves were missing, in fact, quite a few, but that would soon be remedied.
Because it hadn't forgotten its roots as a seed in the mud, it stood there in all its glory. It had become the mighty oak tree.
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The most successful college football coach of all time was Knute Rockne of Notre Dame and he had tremendous seasons but one year in the late 20s he had an average team and they had a big game towards the end of the season against the undefeated cadets from West Point at Yankee Stadium.
So Rockne got the team in the locker room before the game, he said “You all know who George Gipp was?
George Gipp is the greatest player ever in the history of Notre Dame.
You might have known the story that his senior year he died right on campus on our infirmary and I was with him the night he died tragically and I said “George is there anything I can do for you?”
He said “This is it.
There’s nothing you can do for me” He said “George, there must be something I can do for you” and he looked up at me and he was very short of breath and he said “Coach, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to want to win a game more than anything else in the world.
When that times comes, tell the boys to win one for the Gipper.” Rockne told the story, he looked around the room, he said “Boys, this is that game.”
Final score Notre Dame 12 West Point 3.
The winter Olympics were held in Innsbruck, Austria, from January 29 to February 9, 1964.
In the two-man bobsled, the greatest driver in the world was Eugenio Monti from Italy.
Eugenia just ended his last run in with an incredible time.
There was only one team left.
Nobody was going to beat the Italians.
The last team was from Great Britain with Tony Nash as the driver.
Tony was good but nobody was going to beat the great Eugenio Monti’s time.
At the end of the course Eugenio Monti's team was celebrating.
Part of Tony Nash's sled was broken.
And he can’t take his last run.
And Eugenio Monti said “Which part?”
And the guy told him.
Tony Nash had the exact same sled, so Eugenio Monti detached the part from his sled, sent it up to the top of the course and Tony Nash attached it to his sled.
Nash took his last run, and won.
Eugenio Monti didn’t want to win because somebody had an defected sled.
He wanted his best to be against Tony Nash’s best, and he lost.
Four years later Monti won
We’re still telling this story because that was one of the great stories of sportsmanship of all time.
And because of that Monti won the Pierre de Coubertin Sportsmanship Award, which is very rarely given out.
It's only been given out a few times in the history of the Olympic Games.
What about you?
Are you in it to win it at all cost?
Let me tell you a story about somebody who had big hopes for his future, but procrastination got in his way. This is the story about Johnny. Johnny was from New Jersey, and Johnny was going to school part-time, and then he dropped out and became a salesperson. He was a pretty good salesman.
Every day at lunch, no matter where he was, he came back and went to the exact same diner. He sat in the exact same place and he ordered the exact same meal.
You think, “Well, he must have really liked the diner.” No, no, no. He really liked the waitress. Every day he gave her a really good tip, but he was so tongue-tied, so taken by her, he could hardly talk to her.
One day he left the diner. He was disgusted with himself, because he thought, “I’m going to ask her out today,” but other than ordering, he couldn’t say anything to her. He said, “Okay. I figured this out. The reason I can’t talk to her is I don’t feel like I’m good enough for her. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to go back to school. I’m going to get my degree. I’m going to go to the gym. I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to get in better shape. I’m going to make more money at work. Then a year from today, I’m going to come back and ask her out for a date. I’m not going to show up for a whole year, but every single day, I’m going to write her an old-fashioned snail-mail letter, and the mailman will deliver it.”
He kept resolute. The next day he joined a gym. He went down to the school, signed up for courses. He started doing better at work. As the months went by, things started working out, and every single day the mailman delivered his letter. Now a year had passed. Of course, he wrote her. She never, ever wrote him back. He said, “Well, I’m going to come in next Friday. I’m going to ask you out.” He says, “Now I look different. I have a better car, and I dress better, and I got my degree. Everything’s going great, and I want to go on a date with you.”
He came into the diner, and when she saw him, she ran over and threw her arms around him, and he said, “Wow, that’s a good sign.” Then he sat down in his old seat, and he ordered the same old meal. He said, “Well, you know why I’m here. Will you go on a date this weekend?” She said, “I’d love to, but I can’t.” He said, “Well, why can’t you?” She says, “Well, I just got engaged.” He said, “Who did you get engaged to?,” and she said, “The mailman.”
The moral of the story? While Johnny was getting ready, the mailman was taking care of business. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t put things off. You just got to do it, because you lose your dreams. Procrastination is your worst enemy.