Change My Relationship: Recent Episodes
Karla Downing
Change My Relationship offers practical solutions based on biblical truths for all relationships from Karla Downing, Marriage & Family Therapist.
Dealing with angry people is difficult. You either respond with anger or with fear. Instead, you can learn how to detach from anger to change your relationships.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Xd-pqZC_i1k
The dysfunctional family dynamics were caused by my toxic marriage. My husband insisted nothing was wrong except my reaction, so he refused to look at his behavior. I tried everything to get him to change: praying, nagging, lecturing, therapy (for me), adjusting, pleasing, and more. Nothing worked and the harder I tried, the more out of control I became.
I was the one the neighbors heard yelling. I was the one in support groups and marriage counseling. I was the losing my temper. I was the one getting physically sick. I was the one who looked unhappy and miserable. I was the one who looked crazy, not him. And it isn't just toxic marriages, but all toxic relationships where this can happen.
If this sounds like you, you need to watch this video to find out how to stop looking like the crazy one. I figured it out and so can you. Stop changing the other person, change yourself instead.
dysfunctionalfamilies #toxicmarriage #dysfunctionalfamily #changeyourself #toxicrelationships #christianrelationshipadvice
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lwupycP8R8k
Difficult people cause crises that you think you have to fix. The healthier thing to do is to detach and let them deal with the consequences by themselves.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HNDIkSFAKSg
Avoidant people avoid for different reasons. Understanding the reason why a particular person avoids will increase your empathy and guide your decisions on what to do and what not to do.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4FjpSuL-DdY
Emotional abusers have many tactics. They include ridicule, name-calling, minimizing, discounting, manipulation, threats, ordering, and withholding. There is another one that isn't typically mentioned, and yet it is equally painful to experience. It is making you irrelevant.
Each of us needs to be understood and validated. We also need to belong to groups and to have relationships where we matter. When people make you irrelevant, they withhold these basic things when you have an expectation that you should be included. When this is used to punish and control, it can be devastating.
Recognizing this tactic can help you to decrease its power. Watch this video to learn how to respond to the emotionally abusive tactic of making you irrelevant. #emotional abuse #christianrelationshipadvice #irrelevant #invalidation
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LQgoABXDxEI
What does it mean to have a healthy fear of God? Find out in this video that takes a very practical approach to this topic that will dispel unhealthy beliefs you have.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ChD9aHs8gh4
Dealing with your narcissistic adult children isn't easy. Listen to this video to give you guidelines that help you navigate the landmines.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ff2TMjgei4Q
Improving your communication skills improves your relationships. You can take a soft communication approach in your toxic, dysfunctional, and healthy relationships, and it will make a huge difference.
In dysfunctional and toxic relationships, there is pent up emotional energy that comes out in all interactions and especially with conflict. Healthy people also react when something triggers defensiveness. It is easy to react intensely to people without intending to which can spiral into more drama.
You cannot control what other people do or how they react, but you can control how you interact. Learning how to take a soft communication approach in all your relationships is a skill you need to develop. Watch this video to learn how.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. #communication skills #toxic relationships #dysfunctional relationships #healthyrelationship #Christianrelationshipadvice
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gPGLaYlP3Nk
Karla Downing offers a vulnerable and honest evaluation of her parenting regrets, looking back from a place of change. With the hindsight that often comes after life moves on, she shares valuable insights that will help mothers and fathers raising minor children, as well as those whose children are grown. Her experience of being angry with her children offers lessons on the parenting mistakes you might have made or are currently making, even if they are not about anger.
Evaluating your parenting mistakes is one of the most painful things you can do. No parent starts out planning to hurt their children, but all of us do. Being able to face and admit those mistakes requires that a parent address the what and the why of them. And after that, to do the difficult task of forgiving themselves.
If you are having trouble forgiving your parents for their mistakes, it may even help you see their humanity and give you compassion toward them and help you to forgive them. #angrymothers #parentingjourney #parentingtips #Christianparentingadvice #parentingregrets #forgivingyourself #forgivingyourparents
Please listen to this interview Karla has done in the hopes that it will help you.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/O4pZFH0Bm8E
Most of us live with a significant amount of unfinished relationship business. We get busy. We procrastinate when something feels stressful. We have priorities that don't reflect our values. The problem is that we pay a price for not dealing with important issues that should be addressed. The worst possibility is that something happens to the person, and the opportunity to say or do something you wish you had done is no longer there. Whether it is sharing your appreciation, feelings, or love; resolving a conflict, or apologizing for things you regret; spending time with the person, or doing something that you want to do, watch this video to get a new perspective on unfinished relationship business. #unfinishedbusiness #christianrelationshipadvice #resolveconflicts
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/x07_-1bqwXc
If you have difficult people in your life, you want them to change. Watch this video to find out what you can do to maximize that possibility.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Dd8LKAwT3zo
People who have learned helplessness display specific characteristics. To overcome it, there are specific things you need to do.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/qjgbqC4AMKQ
Difficult relationships are complicated because the dynamics are confusing and frustrating. While there are various causes of the dysfunction, there are common things that you should do and not do. Watch this video on the dos and don'ts for people in difficult relationships so you won't make your life even harder.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ivCM9jcjPeo
Do you wonder when it is time to move closer to a relationship problem and when to avoid it? Many people avoid dealing with issues for numerous reasons. Others confront everything aggressively. Neither of those approaches is healthy or good.
When a problem is long-standing, and both people are avoiding bringing it up, should you? There is often anxiety over issues that are lingering, and it affects your relationship. That anxiety can spill over onto other things and further complicate them. That's one good reason to do it. Another is that resolving conflict brings people closer.
When and how to bring it up is important for you to know. If you do it the wrong way, it could backfire. If you want to grow in your ability to resolve conflict, watch this video on when to move closer to a relationship problem.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. #relationshipproblems #Christianrelationshipadvice #resolveconflicts
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zif3B7-3kDA
Do you have prickly people in your life? If you do, then you need some help in dealing with them so they don't ruin your life. Watch this video to get the help you need.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rlIlhkWeaP8
There are many myths and misunderstandings surrounding forgiveness. One of those involves scriptural truths and the consequences of sin. God's forgiveness wipes away our trespasses and the judgment we deserve. The conclusion might be that when we forgive people, we also have to let go of any consequences of their actions.
But would this be correct? It matters how you answer because it impacts the health of our relationships. When you understand what letting go of offenses entails, it will help you put questions about letting go of consequences into proper context.
Watch this Christian relationship advice video to answer the question: Does forgiveness mean letting go of consequences?
forgiveness #consequencesofsin #christianrelationshipadvice #scripturaltruths
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/823FvfJ2zp8
Zack Collie experienced a life-changing traumatic injury as a teen that presented him with the opportunity to either persevere or give up. Zack chose the first option, and as a result, he has a message that resonates with those who are facing difficult life challenges. Whether it is a traumatic injury, a debilitating illness, a painful and difficult relationship, the loss of a marriage, the loss of a job or career, or anything else, all of us have those times in our lives where we need to choose how we want to go forward.
Resilience is the secret to facing life's challenges with strength and courage. While some of us learn resilience as children, others have to learn it later in life; however, the good news is that it is never too late. In this interview, Zack uses his personal experiences as a quadriplegic to illustrate how to master the components of resilience, including perseverance, patience, gratitude, and acceptance. The interview is hopeful and helpful. You will be uplifted and inspired as you walk through Zack's injury, rehabilitation, and life's journey. You will find yourself cheering him and celebrating his journey.
Zack is a marriage and family therapist with Inspired Resolutions Counseling in Orange County, California. He loves working with teens and anyone with challenging life circumstances. He runs an online Zoom support group for those with spinal cord injuries. He is available to speak at your church, school, or organization.
Resources:
Inspired Resolutions Counseling: https://www.inspiredresolutionscounseling.com/
Daily Living as a Quadriplegic YouTube Channel: https://m.youtube.com/@zackcollie1994?ra=m
Psychology Today Therapist Information:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/zackery-collie-yorba-linda-ca/1102583Ins
Instagram: zackcollie7
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ft6D-cl-P34
Don't complain, blame or explain. These things keep you from moving forward and taking responsibility for yourself. Find out why.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iuqVpdjl900
When comparing toxic relationships vs. healthy relationships, there are many differences. Boundaries are handled differently. Reciprocity is one-way in one and two-way in the other. One has mutual understanding; the other doesn't. Only one has mutual goodwill and cooperation.
Another difference is how ruptures and repairs are handled. All relationships have conflict and disagreements. All relationships have ups and downs, but not all know how to fix those issues and heal the wounds. Knowing how to recognize the differences can help you identify dysfunctional, toxic relationships, adjust your expectations, and plan your response. All of these strategies will help you make decisions to protect yourself now and in the future.
Toxic and healthy relationships have ruptures, but only healthy ones have repairs. Watch this video to get insight into how to identify toxic people and healthy people in the way they handle this difference.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #conflict #healthyrelationship
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/whZtxafdOdY
Caregiver burnout is common for people who are caring for another person. Watch this video to learn how to recognize it and how to care for yourself along with the other person.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/PyK2SWlRSWs
Parenting struggling teens is one of the most difficult and challenging seasons of life, and it is no surprise that it is correlated with decreased marital satisfaction. Problems with teens become problems in the family, and according to Brandon Joffe, licensed clinical social worker and founder of Inspired Resolutions Counseling, solutions need to involve the family. In this interview, Brandon answers Karla's questions on homework, disrespect, anger, emotions, drugs, suicidal threats, discipline disagreements, and more. His practical solutions and experience-based insights give parents hope and help, whether they are at a crisis point or just typical teen struggles. Brandon Joffe is a licensed clinical social worker with nearly two decades of experience assisting teens, families, and marriages through challenging times. He offers effective, compassionate, and results-driven therapy, specializing in adolescent, parent, and couple issues like anxiety, depression, ADHD, addiction, anger management, and family conflict. He offers multiple support groups, including support for parents of struggling teens and anger management for families. He also offers online courses for ADHD, boundaries, parenting, court-ordered co-parenting, and anger management. Joffe began his journey as an addiction counselor at the Substance Abuse Foundation, gaining insight into substance abuse's impact on youth. This led him to work with middle and high school students in Compton at Shields for Families, providing therapy in schools and homes. Later, he served as a Drug Court therapist at the Central Justice Center, collaborating with legal professionals to aid recovery. In 2010, Joffe transitioned to private practice with CIFT, engaging with schools and churches in Brea, Anaheim Hills, and Placentia. He developed a holistic approach to therapy, integrating mental health, physical wellness, and nutrition for long-term success. As a clinical supervisor, he trains new therapists. He continues to partner with the With Hope Foundation to provide suicide prevention training in schools. Inspired Resolutions Counseling is located in Orange County, California. Resources and Links Inspired Resolutions Counseling: https://www.inspiredresolutionscounseling.com Faith Anchored Boundaries Before Breakdown:https://www.inspiredresolutionscourses.com/courses/faith-anchored-boundaries-before-breakdown-course Hope For Parents Community:https://www.inspiredresolutionscourses.com/hub/community/c/10830 Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/3U4lFbFL6tY
Have you struggled with setting boundaries with the marijuana smokers in your life? Do you wonder if it should be okay with you when it is not okay with you? The increase in the use of pot is related to its legalization in many states. With that comes its normalization. Many now believe that is less harmful than alcohol. It isn't easy to tells someone that you don't approve of its use when they can argue that it is accepted and no big deal.
Making decisions about marijuana are easier when you know the facts about it. This video will review a recent article about a meta-study on it's effects on the brain, especially if it is link to an increase in psychosis. It also presents other facts about marijuana that will help you decide.
Watch this video to help you decide whether you need boundaries with pot smokers.
boundariesinrelationships #addictionrecovery #christianrelationshipadvice #marijuanaabuse #christianboundaries
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Written copy of this "Boundaries with Marijuana Users"
https://www.changemyrelationship.com/christian-relationship-devotional-boundaries-with-marijuana-users/
"Detaching With Love From an Alcoholic or Drug Addict"
https://www.changemyrelationship.com/christian-relationship-devotional-detaching-with-love-from-an-alcoholic-or-drug-addict/
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/3BH1f85dvpg
Dealing with slobs is problematic. You can't make them neat and you can't live with the mess. Watch this video to learn what you can do.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/q8PY2wbyYes
One of the things we do in difficult relationship is use all or nothing thinking. This means when we see someone do things that are bad, we see the person as bad. When we see the person do things that are good, we see the person as good. This confuses us when we think that we have it figured out. It is better to think a different way.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/qsFiIYjDLHk
Don and Alexandra (Alex) Flecky were married in 1980 and quickly discovered that baggage from their families of origin showed up in their relationship. They, like many other couples, found that their love for each other was hijacked by their reactionary interpretation of each other's communication.
Their personal experience figuring out how to change their own communication patterns, along with their professional experience working with couples, led Don and Alex to co-author CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship. In this podcast, they explain why and how their workshop is different than other programs.
They currently head the Relationship Research Foundation, Inc., a nonprofit organization that applies proven relationship-strengthening techniques and develops innovative resources to help today’s couples improve their marriages. Previously, the Fleckys served as Shepherds of Marriage Ministries at their home church, Fullerton Free Church (California). Don is licensed as a pastor in the Evangelical Free Church of America and does pastoral counseling. Alex has B.A. and M.A. degrees in Communication Studies, with a focus on Argument and Persuasion, and has taught communication courses at California State University, Fullerton.
For over 35 years, they have taught and coached thousands of couples on six continents. They regularly speak at conferences, churches, ministerial groups, marriage retreats, and community events. They are sought out by various churches and non-profit organizations to teach couples classes, train class leaders, develop cutting-edge methods to help couples, and launch specialized couples programs.
The Fleckys love using stories from their own marital struggles to give hope to couples. They have three adult children, one granddaughter, and a Sheepadoodle. They enjoy jet skiing, traveling, and getting a rush out of helping couples.
Resources:
CoupleTalk: Coupletalk.com
Relationship Research Foundation, Inc.: USrelationships.org
The Third Option: thethirdoptionoc.com
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/kLjZJaof2aY
Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships? The majority of Christians and pastors would answer, "Absolutely." It is taught in sermons and Sunday School and is the message of songs sung over many years. It almost seems heretical to ask it.
Yet, it matters because misunderstandings about this issue can cause confusion and pain in people's lives, especially when they are searching for answers. Christian relationship advice often fails to apply the Bible in practical ways that help, especially when it is rigid.
Watch this video to find the answer to the question, "Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships." #bible #christianrelationshipadvice #scripturaltruth
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/C69zmOY66pk
What is the difference between a boundary and a wall? Watch this video to think about the differences and when you might want to consider one vs the other.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/J1B_7sEMADA
Emotional intelligence includes understanding that emotions can be primary or secondary. Recognizing this will help you to be less emotionally reactive in your relationships. Many in dysfunctional, toxic relationships struggle with identifying what causes their emotional reactivity, especially when past triggers contribute and intensify the responses.
The more you understand about your emotions, the easier it will be to make sense of them. It is crucial that you can trace the links between other people's actions and your emotions. This includes identifying why you are upset and what feelings come first and second. This will also increase your awareness of what is going on in the other person's feelings and reactions.
Watch this video to increase your emotional intelligence.
emotionalintelligence #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #emotionalreactivity
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Z2NJCg3otYc
Rachel shares the crazy cycle of hope and despair she experienced in her painful seventeen-year marriage to a narcissistic, abusive husband. With raw emotions and heartfelt concern for other women and men in abusive relationships, she explains why it took her this long to do what finally convinced him to change.
While there is no guarantee that your spouse can and will change, there is hope if you do this one thing in a way you have yet to. And if that doesn't produce change, you will have discovered something valuable that you need to know once and for all.
Resources:
"CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship" offers a set of powerful communication tools which teach you healthy ways to communicate as a couple about any topic – no matter how sensitive – and help you to improve your everyday communication. CoupleTalk combines insightful video-based instruction, interactive in-class exercises, and a workbook filled with practical advice and helps. It can be used by a couple alone at home, in a small group at home or church, or in a large group of couples as a weekend retreat or couples conference. Many counselors and pastors also use CoupleTalk as an “at home” supplement to their work with couples. https://coupletalk.com/
Hosting Your Own Class: CoupleTalk Hosts are regular couples and individuals who agree to host the video series at their church or community center, or even in their home. No special training is needed to host the video series, and CoupleTalk offers a variety of helpful supports. https://coupletalk.com/
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6VEs7Ht_lHo
What can you do when your family won't talk about what needs to be talked about? Dysfunctional families don't want to address issues. Here are your options.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/F2Vrq3JWMyg
There are four types of controllers who attempt to control you. You need to know who they are and what they do so you can refuse to allow their controlling to work. Watch this video to see what they are.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/mM9bpzSDF54
Do you find yourself stuck in a rut, unable to move forward after a difficult life change or loss? It could be retirement, death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of a relationship, a family split, an unexpected life turn or even an empty nest.
It takes time to navigates a grief journey, seasons of life changes, and loss, but sometimes it takes longer to adjust than you want. If this describes you or someone you know, you would benefit from these practical steps to get you out of a rut to help you with getting over it.
Watch this video to find out what those practical steps are. #christianrelationshipadvice #seasonsoflife #gettingoverit #loss #griefjourney
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/53MySmdrdPY
Christians believe that God wants them to put their spouses first before their children. This is especially true when women believe that they need to submit to their husbands. Watch this video to find out when the children need to put first.
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dfubuhOI2GI
If you have trouble asking for help when you need it, watch this video. You need to learn that it is good for you to admit you can't do everything by yourself.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/RO66snUOCzQ
Do you find yourself frequently feeling resentful about what other people did or make you do? Resentment isn't a fun feeling and it can interfere with your enjoyment of life. Watch this video on how not to be resentful.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g9eaW7kAXSY
Have you been receiving Christian marriage and relationship advice from counselors, pastors, family, and friends that you are fifty percent responsible for your part in the relationship problems? Have you been told just to give 100% of everything you can and let God deal with the other person? Or maybe that it takes two to fight? Or even if your spouse doesn’t do their part that you have to do yours? Hearing those responses is frustrating, dismissive, and even infuriating when you are stuck in a relationship with someone in your dysfunctional family who is doing things that hurt you and your children. They make you feel hopeless when you know you have already tried everything you can, and it isn’t working.
Watch this video to find out why those responses are incorrect. It will be empowering
relationshipproblems #dysfunctionalfamilies #christianrelationshipadvice #christianmarriageadvice
Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MYAayQsMkBw
It's not easy to admit wrongdoing when it is pointed out to you. The natural reaction is to rationalize your actions. It matters how you react because it affects your relationships with everyone, including God. It may seem like an unimportant issue, but it isn't. You know how frustrated and exasperated you feel when someone refuses to take responsibility and instead uses blame-shifting. Watch this video to find out how you can admit your wrongdoing and stop rationalizing your actions. Accountability matters, and apologizing is important, even in your dysfunctional relationships. #dysfunctionalrelationship #rationalization #takingresponsibility #apologize #blameshifting #christianrelationshipadvice #accountability
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/31s2KPmKTb4
If you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you are probably focused on the other person's life and not on your own. You may be trying to rescue and fix, because if you don't, nothing for you will change. This may have been going on for so long that you don't even remember what it was like to feel carefree enough to focus on yourself. The problem is that if you don't pay attention to yourself, you could lose too much time because there is no guarantee that there will ever be any change. And even if and when there is, you may have lost so much of yourself that you may not be able to get it back. It isn't easy to let go of the obsession to change someone else, but it can be done. Watch this video to find out how you can focus on living your life in spite of your dysfunctional relationships. #dysfunctionalrelationship #christiancodependency #liveyourlife
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/x5B6R2ilo88
Manipulative setups by manipulators are purposeful acts that force you into a dilemma that is then exploited to get what the manipulator wants.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5RgUFicVFYo
There is an epidemic of parental estrangement, but what are the causes? Your adult child refuses to have anything to do with you and doesn't let you see your grandchild. This is in spite of all the things you have done for your child and all the sacrifices you have made. You don't know the reason is and you can't get an answer. You are devastated. But you are also confused. How could this be happening? What could cause so many adult children to walk away from a relationship with their parents? Why aren't they aware of the hurt they are causing, and why don't they appear to care? Is it the parents' fault or is it the adult children's fault? There are many causes of this epidemic of parental estrangement. If you are one of the estranged parents, the adult children walking away, or anyone else who is dealing with this issue, you need to know what they are.
Listen to this podcast to find out. #parentalestrangement #familydysfunction #grandparentsrights #narcissists #christianrelationshipadvice
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/69r21422xFE
There are many reasons that it is difficult to divorce an abuser, but one of the most important is concern over how the children will be impacted. The fear can be enough to prevent abuse victims from taking the steps to move forward. It is for this reason that Tawni Carney and Karla Downing share personal and professional experience from their ministry with domestic abuse survivors on how to protect and support children when divorcing an abuser. They identify common problems that arise with children and offer practical, heartfelt advice on how to deal with them. They cover questions such as how to respond to kids' anger and grief, how to handle visitation struggles, how to talk about the abuser, and more. They also offer suggestions for bringing God into children's lives as a source of strength. Tawni and Karla's personal experiences in abusive marriages drive their passion to help people navigate and heal from abusive relationships. Their conversation is filled with helpful tips for anyone who has experienced abuse and/or interacts in any way with victims.
Tawni Carney is a single mother of three whose path blends creativity, ministry, and healing. After beginning her career designing swimwear for national retailers and launching her own children’s wear line, she went on to serve as a Children’s Pastor in Costa Mesa. For over 20 years, she has ministered to families throughout Orange County, California, offering support and hope. She founded Gang of Arrows, a life-skills program that grew to multiple studios, creating safe spaces where kids learn, create, and believe their “hands are made for good.” Today, as the Executive Director of Eagles Wings Global. Tawni carries a message of deep faith in God's power to restore you and your children. The mission of Eagles Wings is to bring hope and healing to survivors of domestic violence. They advocate, educate, and empower women and men to discover their true value and worth to break the cycle of abuse in their families. They provide physical, emotional, and spiritual support to those seeking freedom and restoration. Eagles Wings also desires to train churches and their staff to identify abuse victims and respond to them in a way that offers support rather than harm. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.
Christianmarriageadvice #Christianrelationshipadvice #Christiandivorcesupport #domesticviolencesurvivors #abusiverelationships #abusivemarriage #emotionalabuse #childabuse #EaglesWingsGlobal #karladowning Resources Eagles Wings Global is an organization that supports abused women and men. The website lists resources, which include in-person and Zoom "Love Does No Harm" groups. They also have a phone line to receive personal support. Tawni Carney can be reached through the website. https://eagleswingsglobal.org Love Does No Harm Workbook on Amazon https://amzn.to/4ryz4Y6 California Victims Compensation Fund https://victims.ca.gov/ Feelings Wheel for Adults and Teens https://www.socialworkerstoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/Free-Feelings-Wheel-Printable-PDF-Emotion-Wheel-Chart-for-Teens-Young-People-Adults.pdf Feelings Wheel for Children https://www.catbears.com/images/social-stories/feelings-wheel/the-catbears-feelings-wheel.pdf Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/AYWN4WQ3g9Q
Dysfunctional and toxic relationships have many relationship problems that go unresolved indefinitely. When evaluating how to resolve conflict, you need to consider whether there is a possibility of relationship healing, given the ability of both parties to discuss the issues. Many times, one person wants to resolve them, and the other does not. One person can listen to and understand the other, and the other cannot. One can take responsibility and be accountable for their choices, and the other can't.
If you can resolve the past, it makes moving forward easier. But if you cannot resolve the past, is it better to let it go to move forward, or is it better to try to force conversations about the past that are likely not to get anywhere? You are the only one who can decide. It might be better to let it go, or it might be better to try to force a resolution.
Watch this video to find out if you have to resolve the past to move forward in a dysfunctional relationship. #dysfunctionalrelationship #christianrelationshipadvice #relationshipproblems #toxicrelationships #relationshiphealing #conflictresolution
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/kYzniL-ouGU
Emotional manipulators make promises and give you gifts to get you to do what they want. You need to recognize when these promises and gifts are being used to get you to give in to the manipulators demands.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IqIII8W5lZg
It is difficult to have a family member with mental illness. There are some basic principles you can follow that will help you increase the chance of improved mental health. There are also things you can do that will make it worse. You need to know what to do and not do. You care about your family member with mental illness, but you also have to care about yourself and the rest of the family. Everyone matters. There needs to be a balance between the needs of the person struggling with mental health and everyone else. Learn how to do that. Watch this video to find out what you can do to help your family member with mental illness. #mentalhealth #familyproblems
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aMn2WQrUlts
Tawni shares her story of survival in an abusive marriage and her healing journey after her decision to divorce. She and Karla discuss how the Church gets it wrong by responding to abuse victims in a way that often causes more pain. They identify common phrases that, sometimes unknowingly, twist Bible verses and lead to misunderstandings the right way to respond. The hidden message is often one that produces guilt and over-responsibility for the victim.
They also offer suggestions on how to support children in abusive marriages and through divorce. Tawni and Karla's personal experiences in abusive marriages drive their passion to help people navigate and heal from abusive relationships. Their conversation is filled with helpful tips for anyone who has experienced abuse and/or interacts in any way with victims.
Tawni Carney is a single mother of three whose path blends creativity, ministry, and healing. After beginning her career designing swimwear for national retailers and launching her own children’s wear line, she went on to serve as a Children’s Pastor in Costa Mesa. For over 20 years, she has ministered to women throughout Orange County, California, offering support and hope. She founded Gang of Arrows, a life-skills program that grew to multiple studios, creating safe spaces where kids learn, create, and believe their “hands are made for good.”
Today, as the Acting Executive Director of Eagles Wings Global in Orange County, California, Tawni carries a message of deep faith in God's power to restore. The mission of Eagles Wings is to bring hope and healing to survivors of domestic violence. They advocate, educate, and empower women and men to discover their true value and worth to break the cycle of abuse in their families. They provide physical, emotional, and spiritual support to those seeking freedom and restoration. Eagles Wings also desires to train churches and their staff to identify abuse victims and respond to them in a way that offers support rather than harm.
Resources
Eagles Wings Global is an organization that supports abused women and men in Southern California. The website lists resources, which include in-person and Zoom "Love Does No Harm" groups. They also have a phone line to receive personal support. Tawni Carney can be reached through the website.
https://eagleswingsglobal.org
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yN1su0zUxYU
In dysfunctional families, people do a lot of things that are unhealthy and destructive. Watching them causes anxiety because of the harm they can do to themselves, you, others, and the relationship. The obsession with changing them can be all-consuming if left unchecked. It can even make you physically and emotionally sick.
The solution is to manage anxiety over others' choices. There are things you can do that will make it easier. Your life doesn't have to be ruled by things outside your control, even when that is your dysfunctional family.
Learning how to manage anxiety over others' choices will change your life by changing yourself. Watch the video to find out how to do it.
dysfunctionalfamilies #manageanxiety #changeyourself
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/W9_zGj786hA
Getting mentally ill people to medicate is a frustrating experience. Yet, they have to in order to get better and be more independent. Watch this video to look at the real-life options you have.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LnH3ylmyJBc
Unfortunately, the stigma of mental illness in the church still exists in various ways. People hold misconceptions about the cause and treatment, which makes it harder for those struggling with mental health. Some of these misconceptions can cause actual harm because they prevent people from speaking up and from getting the treatment they need.
It is important to understand scriptural truth about what causes mental illness and what is required to treat it. Whether you struggle with mental illness yourself or you encounter people struggling with it, knowing how to correct the misconceptions and biases rather than perpetuating them will bring hope and healing. Watch this video on the stigma of mental illness in the church. #mentalhealth #scripturaltruth
Resources:
Grace Alliance offers mental health resources and groups in the church: https://mentalhealthgracealliance.org/
National Alliance of Mental Illness offers information and support groups: Nami.org
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0aYt25ojZPM
Have you ever felt lost in conversations where resolution seems out of reach? Have you wondered why every attempt you make to explain is met with roadblocks that leave you even more frustrated? If so, you might be encountering what Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project calls "The Maze of Confusion."
The Maze of Confusion is a strategy used by emotional abusers to derail genuine communication. By weaving a complex web of distractions and dead ends, they prevent meaningful dialogue, leaving their partners overwhelmed and disoriented. Instead of engaging in healthy conversations, these tactics create barriers to understanding and resolution, leading to increased confusion and emotional pain.
In this conversation, Annette and Karla talk about the tactics used to block communication in emotionally abusive relationships from their own experience and from their work with thousands of abuse victims and survivors. Their conversation contrasts unhealthy tactics that prevent resolution with the characteristics of healthy communication that foster understanding and resolution.
This podcast is packed with helpful information that empowers abuse victims and abuse survivors. They need labels for the tactics that are used to control them. They need to understand the motives that drive the abuser's behavior. They need validation to counter the gaslighting and invalidation.
Understanding and navigating this maze can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Annette is the founder of The Mend Project, an organization that seeks to educate, equip, and restore all who are impacted by emotional abuse and train those who interface with them personally or professionally. Please take a moment to review their resources.
confusion #emotionalabuse #emotionalabusesurvivor #domesticviolencesurvivors
Resources and Links:
The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/
Find Clarity and Healing Course - https://themendproject.com/find-clarity-and-healing-course/
"My Journey Through Double Abuse" - interview of Annette Oltmans' story. https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-a4tmz-1004118
"I Was a Covert Emotional Abuser" - Interview of Bucky Oltmans' story https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-ebkpt-107fd04
Maze of Confusion, Terms and Definitions and Other Free Resources from The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/resources/
Karla Downing's Classes - https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ewZv3bY0tcg
If you are a Christian in a dysfunctional, toxic marriage, you are desperate for Christian marriage advice. When you see marriage books or conferences by Christian authors and speakers, you are willing to buy the books and attend the conferences. You try to apply their ideas, even if your spouse isn't.
There is only one problem: not everyone who offers you advice understands what you are going through. Some of their ideas can make your situation worse. You even have to be careful when you seek out Christian counseling.
So if you have more than a few minor marriage problems, you are struggling with addiction, abuse, affairs, narcissism, manipulation, mental illness, emotional abandonment, or other complex, dysfunctional, and toxic dynamics, be careful. Don't go to Christian marriage conferences or read Christian marriage books. Watch this video to fully understand why that is a bad idea and what you need to do instead.
#christianmarriageadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationships #christiancounseling #Christianmarriageconferences
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/O3IWdojI-wc
Self-evaluation is healthy and necessary. The problem is that codependents, including Christian codependents, tend to take too much responsibility and end up invalidating themselves. This video will show you how to evaluate, not invalidate yourself.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wYvGZaLQf6I
People in the church have adopted the idea of soul ties. They are believed to explain the strong connections between people that are difficult to break. It is important to analyze whether this is true or whether there are other explanations for them that make as much or more sense.
They are also presented as biblical, but are they? Is there evidence of them in Scripture? Knowing scriptural truth about them is essential. Just because they are presented that way doesn't mean they are.
Understanding what soul ties are and whether they are biblical is good to know because at some point, someone may tell you that your relationship struggle is caused by a soul tie. If it is, you need to know how to break it, but if it isn't, you don't want to be led astray. #soulties #scripturaltruth
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0u8pWicMRoQ
Do you believe you should deal with the situations that make you angry before you go to sleep at night? Ephesians 4:26 tells us to be angry and not sin. That may mean you should go to sleep without confronting.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/FcWI8PUSvak
Does God want us to suffer? Christians say many things, giving the impression that He does. We hear that God brings suffering to make us rely on Him. We hear that God wants us to grow and mature through trials. We also hear that God is glorified through our suffering. There are Bible verses that teach all those things.
If God wants us to suffer and it brings out so much good, should we seek out ways to suffer? Is it okay to do what we can to end our own suffering? Is every type of suffering the same?
These and other questions need to be answered, because how you view and how you respond to suffering matters, especially in our dysfunctional, toxic relationships.
Watch this video to hear the answer to the question, "Does God want you to suffer?"
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bOTVgXfagwo
Is it okay to want a good life as a Christian? Is it okay to strive for material possessions to give our children a good life? I answered this question for one of my subscribers. Find out what I said.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/sPqjGc-hZZc
Are generational curses causing the problems in your toxic relationship? Some Christians think they are. The scriptural truth matters because what you believe is causing the problems will guide your approach to dealing with them. There are many combinations of problems you may have to deal with, and many options for how to address them. You want nothing more than to help your loved one and fix your relationship. To do that, you need to understand not only what is happening but what is causing it. Dysfunction does run in families. No one can deny that. But are generational curses causing the problems in your toxic relationship? Watch this video to find out. You need to know. #generationalcurses #toxicrelationships #scripturaltruth #dysfunctionalrelationship #dysfunctionalfamilies Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1-Vi2pa2Tzw
How can you get unstuck in your life and toxic relationships? If you're in the middle of a maze of problems and unable to resolve them, you are frustrated and overwhelmed. If you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you are confused. You can find suggestions everywhere on what you should do, but what will work? What is the next step? Too much information can make it worse.
What you need is simple, practical, and easy to apply immediately Christian relationship and marriage advice from someone who understands. This video gives you what you need from someone who understands. Karla Downing has been in many dysfunctional, toxic relationships and knows what works and doesn't work.
If you want answers now, watch "How to Get Unstuck in Your Life and Toxic Relationships." You will get them.
#toxicrelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship #Christianmarriageadvice #christianrelationshipadvice
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/sGij1UKK1zo
How can you identify a difficult person? The answer to that question is critically important because you need to know who you are dealing with whether it is someone you are married to, related to, or have just met. Listen to this video to find out how to identify a difficult person.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/_oKIO048qfY
You are told to listen to what people say with an open mind and to try to understand their perceptions, but what do you do if the person has distorted perceptions? Listen to find out.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Manipulative undermining occurs when a person deliberately and deceitfully does whatever it takes to take away your power. Learn more about this manipulative tactic by listening to this podcast.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Are you living congruently in your relationships? You are not if you are not setting boundaries and living in a way that aligns with your values and convictions. Dysfunctional and difficult relationships often weaken our resolve to stand up for what we believe is right. Watch this video to find out how to live congruently in your relationships.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/sAyVEsndmW8
Many things are said in Christian circles that lead us to draw conclusions about scriptural truths that aren't completely accurate. One of those is that God breaks those who love him. Have you gotten the impression that even though God is good, He wants us to be broken so He can teach us? I know I have. I hear things said all the time that lead to that conclusion, but in this video, I challenge the belief that God breaks those who love him. #scripturaltruth #godisgood
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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You know the saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result." This applies to dysfunctional families, dysfunctional relationships, and toxic relationships. They can literally make us do crazy things. And the dynamics are so complicated and confusing that it is difficult to figure out how to change our reactions.
Remembering simple relationship tips is helpful. One of those is "Do something different to change the outcome." Try it and see what happens. Can it be any worse than continuing to do the same thing and getting the same result?
#dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationships #dysfunctionalfamilies #relationshiptips
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Dysfunctional families have lots of friction and disagreement that isn't easy to navigate. There are a myriad of problems. One of those is when you don't like your child's partner. There are many reasons that it might be that way. Yet, how you react to this situation is similar regardless of the reasons. There are things you can do that will damage your relationship and cause more relationship problems. There are things you can do that will improve your relationship now and in the future. Even though your concerns are valid, you want to respond in the right way. You need this parenting advice now, even if you have already made some mistakes. Watch this video when you don't like your child's partner. You will be glad you did.
dysfunctionalfamilies #parentingadvice #relationshipproblems
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Dysfunctional families have lots of relationship problems. One of the big ones is when your wife doesn't like your family. Whether it is one or both of your parents, your siblings, or anyone else, it causes a huge amount of stress and subsequent landmines you have to navigate as a husband.
Not only is your wife unhappy, you know your family isn't happy. You are in the middle and need help to navigate in a healthy way that doesn't unnecessarily damage your marriage and cause more problems for you and your kids. But you also want to consider your family's needs, especially when it involves your parents. There's one more consideration and that is you. You matter too and yet, it is easy to lose sight of that.
While this video can't answer all your questions and can't address every scenario, it focuses on the similarities and offers principles you can keep in mind, including biblical ones. It also helps you to view the problem in a larger context because it is easy to get lost in the details of the latest disagreement.
You need this Christian marriage advice now, even if you have already made some mistakes. Watch this video when your wife doesn't like your family. You will be glad you did.
dysfunctional #dysfunctionalrelationship #wifeandhusbandrelationship #relationshipproblems #christianmarriageadvice
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In your abusive relationships, is power over you an illusion? I know it doesn't seem like it is. The abuser exerts control, and it feels impossible to challenge it. You feel stuck, victimized, confused, and powerless. It takes a lot of work to be able to stand up against verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and any other abuse controllers use. One of those things you can begin to do to feel more empowered is to question the abuser's tactics. It helps to consider the basis of the abuser's power and control. If it is only perceived power, you have choices about what to do and how to respond that you didn't know you had. Watch this video to navigate your abusive relationships and find out the answer to this question: Is power over you an illusion? Abuse survivors know the answer, and you need to know it too. #abusiverelationships #power #emotionalabuse #abusesurvivors #controller
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Holidays are painful for people who are going through grief, loss, dysfunctional relationships, and painful memories among many other things. Listen to this video to get ideas on how to deal with holiday triggers.
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Self care for the holidays is essential for everyone but critical for anyone dealing with dysfunctional family dynamics. Watch this video for some practical ideas.
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Healing from sexual betrayal is a complex process that involves navigating the six stages of grief. Betrayal trauma recovery is necessary when trust has been violated by someone who should have been faithful and trustworthy. It is necessary to heal from all types of infidelity: emotional and sexual affairs, sexual addiction, prostitution, and any other sexual acting out. The betrayal involves many losses, which must be grieved to heal. Understanding the process helps make sense of this deeply painful and devastating experience. Knowing there is healing at the end gives hope when otherwise it would seem hopeless. Healing from sexual betrayal involves navigating the six stages of the grief journey. Watch this video to learn what each stage involves so you have an idea of what you need to go through. #betrayaltraumarecovery #healingfrominfidelity #griefjourney
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Toxic relationships are full of complex dynamics, unresolved problems, and painful feelings. We react to all those things by trying to fix, control, and change people. Even when it doesn't make sense to hang on, we do. We don't realize that the only choice we have is to let go or be dragged.
Whether it is love, guilt, trauma bonding, codependency, or fear, we keep trying to make things right even when it hurts us. We need reminders, assurance and a guide in toxic relationships to make a decision on whether to let go or be dragged. #toxicrelationships #letgo
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Bobbie Tea describes an unbelievable lifetime of abuse starting at two years of age. Her story is living proof that abuse victims continue to pick abusers until they get strong enough to say, "No more!" In Bobbie's case, her abuse history included a pervasive family history of sexual molestation that strongly suggests there is a spiritual generational component. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, statistics show that family members perpetrate 34% of child sexual abuse cases. According to Darkness to Light, a non-profit organization committed to preventing child sexual abuse, "The younger the victim, the more likely it is that the abuser is a family member. Of those molesting a child under six, 50% were family members. Family members also accounted for 23% of those abusing children ages 12 to 17." Ninety-one percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child or their family knows. Physical, verbal, and emotional abuse typically accompany sexual abuse. Bobbie's story illustrates the resilience of abuse survivors and the power of God's love to heal. It is a story of pain and hope, at the same time. Bobbie Tea's memoir, There Once Was a Girl: A Memoir With a Message, is available on Amazon. https://amzn.to/3XkOfaA Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Shame-based people react to anything you say that criticizes them or threatens to expose their weaknesses. They also do other dysfunctional things that range anywhere from codependency to addiction to abuse and more. Watch this video to get more understanding about why shame-based people do what they do and also learn how to respond to them.
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Christian codependency can affect whether you are a healthy or a codependent caregiver. When you need to care for someone in your life, it is never easy. Whether it is caring for an elder parent, a mentally ill or disabled child, or a chronically sick spouse, you will need to be intentional about the boundaries you set. It is hard to figure out how to take care of yourself when the demands are overwhelming. Watch this video for caregiver support in finding out how you can be a healthy, instead of a codependent caregiver. It will change your life. #codependent #christiancodependency #settingboundaries #caregiversupport
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Holidays are difficult for people who have dysfunctional families. They are also painful for people with loss and bad memories. While you cannot change the circumstances, one of the things you can do is to change your expectations. Watch this video to see how this simple change can make a big difference. #changeexpectations #holidayemotions #dysfunctionalfamilies
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Sex in your dysfunctional, painful, toxic marriage is impacted by the problems. Sexual dissatisfaction is high when you have anger, hurt, and rejection and many unresolved problems. You don't feel like being intimate with a person who causes you pain and doesn't care. Christian marriage advice often tells you to have more sex because your body belongs to your husband. Yet, doing that only makes you feel worse. Setting boundaries with sex is discouraged, but you need to know the scriptural truth about what you can do to deal with sex in your dysfunctional, painful, toxic marriage. Watch this video to find out. #toxicmarriage #dysfunctionalrelationship #sexualdissatisfaction #christianmarriageadvice #scripturaltruth #settingboundaries
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In Christian codependency, we believe we are doing the right thing to stay in toxic relationships, whether with our spouse, partner, friend, or family. We believe we are supposed to sacrifice, give, tolerate, overlook, and forgive. Two become one in marriage. The church is our family. We honor our parents. We respect our elders. These along with the dynamics in toxic relationships, often result in us losing ourselves. If you have trouble setting boundaries and separating yourself from toxic people, it may be because you are enmeshed. Watch this video to find out if you are enmeshed. The answer is important.
Watch this video to find out. #christiancodependency #enmeshment #toxicrelationships
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Trying to convince people of your truth can lead you to talk too much, push too hard, over-react, and waste your time and energy. You might be surprised to know that it isn't your job to convince them.
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The last straw in the relationship is the thing that appears to cause it to end. It leaves people questioning themselves and rehearsing things over and over to figure out how it could have gone differently. The truth is that it isn't really the cause. It is usually something else. Find out what it is. #finalstraw #dysfunctionalrelationship
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Should you tell your church about your relationship problems? This is an important decision because many church pastors, elders, leaders, and members don't understand toxic relationships, complicated, dysfunctional relationship problems, and emotional abuse.
They may not believe that Christians should have boundaries, and you may end up suffering double abuse, where you are discounted and invalidated by them. Even biblical counseling sometimes offers bad advice because the counselors may not have the proper training to recognize what you are dealing with and have limited therapeutic interventions.
Watch this video to find out what you need to know when deciding to tell your church about your relationship problems. #christianboundaries #relationshipproblems #emotionalabuse #doubleabuse #toxicrelationships #biblicalcounseling
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People manipulate you by creating fear in you. Knowing what you are afraid of shows them ways to get you to do what they want. Watch this video to learn how you can refuse to be manipulated by fear.
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Raising children in dysfunctional families is difficult because you know they are being impacted by the chaos. You can't make everything okay for them, but you can help them. One of the things you can do is to teach your children to detach from the dysfunction. Detaching with love is a coping skill to help them avoid taking things personally. If you use it, you know how powerful it is. Watch this video to learn how to teach your children to detach in dysfunctional families. #detachwithlove #dysfunctionalfamilies #parentingadvice
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In toxic relationships, when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. But, we often don't. We give them the benefit of the doubt again and again. We believe their lies by gaslighting ourselves. And, we doubt that they could really be that bad.
This gets us in all kinds of stressful dysfunctional relationship dynamics because they haven't changed, are who they are, and don't care how we are affected. We do this because of the invalidation we are accustomed to in toxic relationships. It is for these reasons that we have to trust ourselves.
Watch this video to find out how you can get to the place that when people show you who they are, you believe them. When you do, they will prove you are right, instead of wrong. #toxicrelationship #invalidation #gaslight #dysfunctionalrelationship
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Heather was married to a sexually addicted gay man for twenty-four years before she divorced him. Listen to her story to discover how denial, gaslighting, rationalizing, and magical thinking can lead us to believe a lie when we could see the truth.
Sexual addiction destroys intimacy and trust. It is even more challenging to come to terms with the fact that your husband is attracted to men, and yet the signs are often obvious.
Heather Bennett Nuṅoz is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Heather shares her personal and professional insight and experience for women married to sexually addicted and/or gay men. She talks candidly about what the primary indicator of success with rehabilitation is and what women should prioritize after discovering a sexual addiction.
If you or someone you know is in a relationship with a sex addict, please watch, listen, and share. You are not alone, and knowledge gives you power.
sexaddictiondiscovery #sexaddictionrecovery #denial #gaslighting
Recommended Resources: "Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women With Gay Husbands," Bonnie Kaye. https://amzn.to/4naUKqU Straight Wives, Shattered Lives Volume 3: True Stories of Women Married to Gay and Bisexual Men," Bonnie Kaye. https://amzn.to/42MefPl APSATS-trained therapists who work with sexual addicts and their spouses: https://apsats.org/ Be Broken Ministry who work with sexually addicted men and provide a support group for recovery:https://www.bebroken.org/ Be Broken Ministry groups and resources for the wives of sex addicts: https://www.bebroken.org/wives Karla's Resources: Women Thriving in Difficult Marriages Zoom Class https://www.changemyrelationship.com/women-thriving-in-difficult-marriages-zoom-study/ Truth in the Mirror https://www.changemyrelationship.com/truth-in-the-mirror-class/ 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages, by Karla Downing https://amzn.to/3JjEw0I Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Reciprocal relationships are healthy relationships that are balanced. Unhealthy relationships are not reciprocal and not balanced. All of our relationships should be reciprocal regardless of which one it is. Some people have all unhealthy relationships and some have only one or two unhealthy relationships. Learn what you need to do to make all your relationships reciprocal.
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Not all friends last forever. Some are for a reason and a season. When a friendship is no longer working, it may require setting boundaries. When is it time to end a friendship? Watch this video to find out how to recognize the signs and how to do it.
friends #friendship #settingboundaries #christianboundaries
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Are you willing to lose your relationship to win it back the way it should be? When you know you cannot continue the way things are, you have to decide if you are willing to lose that relationship. When you let the old one go, you may get a new one in its place. #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #selfcare
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Setting boundaries involves deciding what and where you give your time, energy, emotions, and resources to. There are conflicting priorities, pressures, and people to consider. We often forget to include our own needs, especially when we are dealing with dysfunctional relationship dynamics. One of the helpful things to remember when setting boundaries is that when you say yes to anything or anyone, you say no to yourself. This powerful reminder can help you remember to take care of yourself, especially when you struggle with Christian boundaries, thinking you have to put yourself last. #dysfunctionalrelationship #boundaries #selfcare
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You pick up the pieces. You cover up the lies. You pay the bills. You bail them out. You make excuses. It feels like you are doing what you have to do, but what you are doing is giving them the ability to continue making bad choices. Instead, stop enabling: Let them fail. It isn't easy. It's a big change and a new behavior, but it is necessary. You have to let them fail if you want them to learn. Otherwise, you will have to keep picking up the pieces forever. You can watch this video to learn how to stop enabling. #enabling #consequencesofsin #consequencesofactions #christianboundaries #failure
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This is a much needed follow up to my video on father wounds offering you the steps you need to take to heal them. The original video gave you the effects of father wounds in a girl's life but this one explains how both men and women can heal their father wounds. #fatherwounds #healingtrauma
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As a Christian in a dysfunctional relationship, you are dealing with problems that need God's help. You have faith that things will get better but oftentimes that faith is nothing more than magical thinking that leads you to make poor decisions. Watch this video to find out the difference of faith vs. magical thinking. #FaithBasedThinking #MagicalThinking #BetterDecisionMaking #Faith
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Barbara Grant joins Karla to share her personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage. They discuss typical struggles couples have that lead to disconnection and stress. Barbara shares practical skills she teaches couples and individuals that help improve their interactions. Barbara Grant is a dedicated neurodiverse couples coach with personal and professional expertise in navigating the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She holds a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a Certified Autism Specialist and Neurodiverse Couples Coach. Barbara’s coaching is grounded in her innovative Roadmap to Hope & Healing© -- a research-based, results-driven approach inspired by her own experiences within neurodiverse marriage and family life. Passionate about helping individuals and couples heal, grow, and determine the sustainability of their relationships, Barbara brings empathy and insight to her work. She has been featured on popular podcasts such as Neurodiverse Love, Your Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, and The Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. Additionally, she is the editor and a contributing author of "Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism, and Faith." Barbara currently cohosts The Neurodiverse Couples “Coaches’ Corner” Podcast. Barbara Grant's Website and contact: https://bg-hc.com/ Purchase Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism, and Faith by Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Rev. Dan Holmes, et al. on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3IAWzPFIs there Cross-Over of Porn Use/Sex Addiction in Autistic Men with Dr. Janice Caudillhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/is-there-cross-over-of-porn-use-sex-addiction-in/id1579715646?i=1000720576734Porn & Sex Addiction, Sexuality & Autism with Candice Christiansenhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/porn-sex-addiction-sexuality-autism-with-candice/id1579715646?i=1000721491068What Even is Healthy Christian Masculinity & Sexuality? with Dr. Andrew Baumanhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-even-is-healthy-christian-masculinity-sexuality/id1579715646?i=1000722489643Want TOTAL Intimacy in Your NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage?https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/want-total-intimacy-in-your-neurodiverse-christian/id1579715646?i=1000723423035 Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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In Step One of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholics admit that they are powerless over alcohol. Some people misunderstand this to mean that they have no accountability for their drinking or anything else destructive and don't have to take any responsibility.
This isn't what is meant by powerlessness. Watch this video to learn about what powerlessness is and is not. It could help you with your own recovery or help you to have reasonable expectations for the alcoholic or addict in your life. #ChristianRecovery #TwelveSteps #StepOne #AlcoholicsAnonymous #Powerlessness
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Spiritualizing hurts hurting people by not responding to the real needs of the person by minimizing their pain and the situation. Watch this video to understand what spiritualizing is and why it hurts. #spiritualizing #hurtingpeople #respondingtoneeds
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Abusive relationships contain many types of harmful treatment. Some overt and some covert. Some obvious and some hidden. Some are easy to identify, and some are not so easy to identify.
We know emotional abuse is harmful, but is emotional neglect abuse? This matters when you are listening to an abuse victim, when you are in a toxic relationship, when you are assessing your behavior, and when you are evaluating the impact of dysfunction on your children.
Watch this video to find out when emotional neglect is abuse.
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Virginia shares the hearts of those who love their wounded children and the prayers that arise from their painful struggles in this podcast. She answers the hard questions: What about the person who has prayed and prayed and hasn't gotten an answer? What are you praying for when you ask God to heal? Is it instant healing or something else? Can you contend with God? Can you share your emotions with Him? Parents with wounded children have struggled with these questions and more, and they will find comfort with this honest and practical discussion. Virginia Wells is the author of "Praying for a Wounded Child: Encouragement and Prayers for You and the Child You Love." She combined her faith as a hospital chaplain, her education and experience as a mental health counselor working with traumatized children, and her personal heart cries as an adoptive mother to wounded children from war-torn countries or minority backgrounds. Her devotional is both practical and deeply spiritual. It serves as both a soul cry and a battle plan, written for the parent whose heart breaks daily--who feels unseen, unprepared, or out of strength, yet still refuses to give up. Wells speaks directly to those walking a difficult parenting path, offering the encouragement and tools they need to keep going when hope feels distant. She equips parents with spiritual and emotional tools to help them stand in the gap for their children, while also tending to their own healing and hope. You can find her book on Amazon: Praying for a Wounded Child: Encouragement and Prayers for You and the Child You Love https://amzn.to/3HMKqa9 Website:virginiawellsauthor.comFacebook: Virginia Wells, AuthorEmail: wellsvirginia1972@gmail.com Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Toxic relationships have complicated dynamics that are hard to figure out. It isn't unusual to be confused about the specific problems you are dealing with. Emotions are intense. Conflict isn't resolved. People don't listen and seek to understand when you voice your concerns and needs.
Reactivity is high in toxic relationships. It is easy to do things you regret. One of the best things you can do is to practice stopping yourself before you react.
One of the easiest ways to do that in toxic relationships is to play the movie forward. Watch this video to find out how and why to do this. You'll be glad you did.
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Abusive relationships shouldn't be hard to leave, but they are. If you've been in one, you know that it is because you are emotionally and relationally entangled. You struggle with knowing what is true and question yourself because you believe the abuser's accusations that blame you for the problems.
Understanding what a trauma bond is and why it keeps you stuck will help you identify why you are struggling. It will also pinpoint what you need to do to get healthier and stronger to break the attachment that some have referred to as an addiction.
Watch this video to answer the question: What is a trauma bond in your abusive relationship?
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When setting boundaries, how do you go from chaos to clarity? If you've been in a relationship with dysfunctional dynamics, you know what it is to be confused, frustrated, overwhelmed, and uncertain. You know how you question yourself and wonder if your thoughts, feelings, actions, and perceptions are accurate.
Is it possible to go from there to a place where you are clear on what is happening and what you need to do? Is it possible to know your boundaries and have the courage to follow through?
The answer is "Yes." Watch this video on "Setting Boundaries: From Chaos to Clarity" to learn how.
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Detaching from accusations means knowing how to not take false accusations to heart and instead letting them go. Detaching allows you to keep your reactions under control and instead choosing how to respond. Learn how to do that by watching this video. #Detachment #KeepingControl #EmotionalControl #Acusations
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Do you know what not to say to depressed or anxious people? You should if you have any contact with them in your life. There are many things people say, including Christian pat answers, that cause hurt. Find out what they are. #healthyrelationship #support #positiverelationships
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You have probably heard a lot about anxious and avoidant attachment styles and how they make your relationships unhealthy. But what does it mean to be securely attached? It is what you are supposed to be when you get healthy. It is what helps your relationships to succeed, but how can you know you are getting closer to the goal if you don't know what it is?
What does it mean to be securely attached? You need to know. Watch this video to find out.
secureattachment #healthyrelationship #anxiousattachmentstyle #attachmenttheory
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Christians misunderstand what the Bible says about submitting to authority. Whether it is in marriage, the church, the family or society, learn what the Bible says about this important principle that affects all relationships. #healthyrelationship #abusiverelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship
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When you set a boundary, do you need to explain your boundary? Do you have to tell the person why you are setting that limit and justify why you came to that decision? Do you have to convince the person that you have a right to it, and do you need their permission and approval?
These are important questions for you to consider before you state your limit. Think about what you need to say, if anything at all. Watch this video to know the answer to the question: "Should you explain your boundary?" Hint: The answer is yes and no. It depends.
setboundaries #christianboundaries
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This video provides various considerations for low contact vs no contact boundaries with toxic people such as narcissists and abusers. #limitcontact #setboundaries #dysfunctionalrelationship #healthyboundaries
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Dysfunctional people are often defensive when you try to talk to them about their problems. An alternative is to approach them by owning the problem. Watch this video to learn how to communicate with defensive people in a way that decreases their defensiveness. #DysfunctionalRelationship #ToxicRelationships #DefensiveResponses #OwningTheProblem
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Unhealthy families have similar dynamics regardless of what their specific problems are. They are complicated and hard to untangle. There are common unspoken rules that everyone knows they have to abide by, even though doing so ensures that the dysfunctional drama continues.
Yet there is a way to change dysfunctional family rules to healthy rules and decrease the family drama. You may not be able to do it with everyone, but you can start with one dysfunctional relationship and make healthy relationship changes by how you act and react.
If you want to change dysfunctional family rules to healthy rules, watch this video to find out how.
dysfunctionalfamily #healthyrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship #familydrama
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You cannot keep someone from gaslighting you, but you can choose how to respond to gaslighting. Learn effective responses by watching this video. #gaslighting #dysfunctionalrelationship #gaslighter #respondingtogaslighting
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In your dysfunctional relationships, it is important to ask yourself: "Why am I talking?" before you open your mouth. This is because most of the reasons will cause more problems for you. These complex relationships aren't easy to navigate. The dynamics are confusing. Emotions are up and down and hard to control. One of the most helpful things you can learn to do is to WAIT before you speak and ask yourself, "Why am I talking?" Watch this video to learn more about this helpful tool with the acronym "WAIT."
dysfunctionalrelationship #christiancodependency #dysfunctionaldynamics
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When you disagree with how your grandchild is parented, what do you do? Do you offer parenting tips? Do you speak up? Do you confront child abuse? Do you point out the dysfunctional relationship dynamics? If you do, what do you think will happen? If you need answers to these questions, watch this video. You will receive helpful suggestions that will help you avoid making mistakes. #grandparenting #dysfunctionalrelationship #childabuse #parentingtips
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People in dysfunctional relationships make change-back moves when you set boundaries, which are designed to get you to back down. They do this because they don't want to change their behavior. They don't want to be accountable and take responsibility for their actions. They don't want to respect your limits and needs. They consider their own needs and desires more important than yours.
Because of all these things, they manipulatively do whatever it takes to make you back down when you set boundaries. This scripture-supported video will help you set Christian boundaries. Watch this video to learn how to recognize these change-back moves. #setboundaries #dysfunctionalfamilies #christianboundaries
Boundaries - Setting Healthy Relationship Limits Zoom Study: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/boundaries-setting-healthy-relationships-limits-zoom-study/
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Codependents have slips just like addicts do. Codependent slips aren't good for you or your relationships. You need to learn how to recognize when you are slipping back into unhealthy behavior so you can stop before you do things you regret. #codependency #toxicrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship
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Toxic relationships are dysfunctional relationships. Narcissistic and manipulative people don't want to hear your concerns. They won't take responsibility for their part in the problems. They use strategies to keep from being accountable, and one of those is the subject of this video.
What is DARVO? Something people do to prevent you from being heard. Find out what it is so you can recognize when it is being used against you. You need to know so it doesn't work. Watch the video to learn about DARVO.
toxicrelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship #darvo #manipulation #narcissist
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Navigating old age estranged from your children is a scary thought for some. One of my subscribers asked me to make a video on this topic. Watch it for some ideas on how to prepare for old age estranged from your children or if you don't have children. #healthyrelationship #planing #oldage
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Relationship safety involves both people being trustworthy, honest, dependable, and emotionally healthy. A safe person doesn't cause harm, but an unsafe person causes harm by their words and actions.
When you are in an abusive, toxic, and/or dysfunctional relationship, you aren't safe. You can set boundaries to try to get changes you need to feel safe, but you cannot depend on the other person. Relationship safety ultimately comes down to you.
toxicrelationships #PersonalSafety #AbusiveRelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship
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Jan Tamble is a leader of the Orange County, California, chapter of Umbrella Ministries, whose purpose is reaching out to the hurts and hearts of mothers who have experienced the loss of a child. Jan shares her story of losing her daughter, Megan, twelve years ago. Along with sharing her grief journey, she discusses the things that people do that hurt and help. When they don't understand how to respond to a person's grief, they do things that cause pain, even though their intentions are to help. This emotional and touching podcast will impact listeners who have lost a loved one by validating their pain, and those who know them by providing insight into how to help. Umbrella Ministries: https://www.umbrellaministries.com/ Umbrella Ministries Facebook: Umbrella Ministries Grief Support Orange County Chapter: https://umbrellaministriesocla.blogspot.com/ GriefShare: GriefShare.org Don't Letter: Click HERE to download a copy of the letter with suggestions of what to do and not do. https://karladowningresources.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/dont-letter.pdf Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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This video shows you how to stop manipulating people. It is possible to change when you are motivated to do it. Watch this video to learn how to stop manipulating people. #manipulation #StopManipulation #ManipulationMotives #HealthyRelationship
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Why do you manipulate people? You need to know if you want to stop doing it. Wanting to change is the first step to being able to stop manipulating people but you also need to know why so you understand what drives the behavior. This video will show you why you manipulate people. #manipulation #ManipulationMotives #HealthyRelationship
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What is the goal of conflict resolution? Most people would answer, "To resolve conflict." That is one of the goals, but it isn't the most important one. There is one that is more important, and if people keep it at the forefront of their minds, it will change the way they interact. Dysfunctional relationships don't do this, but healthy relationships do. Watch this video to find out what it is so you can improve your skills. #conflictresolution #dysfunctionalrelationship #healthyrelationship
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Rose Larson has been through things none of us want to go through: betrayal, divorce, a son's suicide, and another son's addiction and incarceration. She describes what she encountered and how God enabled her to rise above the pain and forgive the unforgivable. Forgiveness, especially for the big life-changing things, isn't easy to do, and yet, it is possible. Hearing others' stories gives us a new perspective of our own. We learn from others experience, strength, and hope. One of the places Rose found support was through Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. You will also hear how those programs helped her and the tools they offer. Listen to Rose's unbelievable journey where she forgave the unforgivable. Helpful Links: Alcoholics Anonymous:https://www.aa.org/Al-Anon Family Groups:https://al-anon.org/Celebrate Recovery: https://celebraterecovery.com/ Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Zero tolerance for boundary violations is the only way to ensure that you won't continue to encounter the same problems in the future. When you don't enforce consequences when your line is crossed, you go through a predictable process that requires you to start all over again. Watch this video to understand what you have to do to get strong enough to have a zero tolerance for boundary violations. #christianboundaries #zerotolerance #setboundaries
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Is it okay to want a good life as a Christian? Is it okay to want to provide a good life for your family? Or, is a Christian supposed to be poor and only care about spiritual matters? Watch this video to hear the answer I gave to a subscriber when she sent me this question. #GoodLife #Christianity #ComfortableLife #ComfortsInChristianity
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Dealing with difficult and dysfunctional people isn't easy. Doing the things you would do with healthy people doesn't work. This video offers an easy-to-remember acronym in "Don't JADE." This reminds you not to justify, argue, defend or explain because it only makes things worse. #dysfunctionalrelationship #difficultpeople #detaching #detachment #JADE
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In this sequel podcast to "How You Lose Your Self in Neurodiverse Marriages, Elizabeth and Kathleen share how to restore your sense of self. Both aremarried to men with Asperger's Syndrome and are the founders of "My Aspie and Me," a private Facebook group for Christian women. They hear women in their group say that they no longer recognize themselves and don't know who they are. Both also experienced a loss of themselves in their marriages. In this group, they provide classes and posts to guide the women on how to respond differently to their marriage challenges by prioritizing their own mental, relational, spiritual, emotional, and physical health.
This is a timely topic given the awareness of more women that the problems they have been dealing with in their painful and difficult marriages are Asperger's. Once they realize this, they need to be given the tools and ideas to respond differently to their husbands and to intentionally restore their sense of self to create a better life for themselves.
My Aspie and Me private Facebook group is specifically designed for Christian women. It provides relational, marital, personal, and spiritual help for women married to neurodiverse men with Asperger's Syndrome. To join, please send a message to the group admin expressing your interest via Facebook Messenger. You will receive a message via Facebook Messenger.
#AspergersMarriage #NeurodiverseMarriage #ChristianMarriageHelp #ChangeMyRelationship #ChristianSelfHelp #ChristianRelationshipHelp
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There is a predictable pattern that victims go through when trying to figure out what is going on in abusive relationships. Anyone experiencing emotional abuse, verbal abuse or any other type of abuse knows how it feels to be on the hamster wheel of invalidation, second guessing, confusion, and gaslighting. Then something else happens. The victim gets clarity and starts to get strong. Then the abuser pulls out a new card which intensifies the abuse cycle. Watch this video to find out what this crazy cycle is so you can recognize it and end it once and for all. #abusiverelationships #gaslighting #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #invalidation
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Therapists doing therapy with an abuser and the victim together are making a huge mistake that further harms the victim and decreases the chance that the abuser will change. Watch this video to learn why therapists should not do couples therapy with an abuser and the victim together. #couplestherapy #therapyforvictims
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Christian codependency means you are a Christian who is codependent at least partially because you hold scriptural misconceptions about what God wants you to do. For everyone who suffers from this, there will be a time if it continues, when you will ask this question: When it's you or me, and I have to choose one or the other, who should I choose? You need to know the answer if you are at that place or if you are heading there. Watch this video to find out what it is. You will be glad you did. #christiancodependency #selfcare
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Kathleen and Elizabeth discuss how women can lose their sense of self in neurodiverse marriages, both having married men with Asperger's Syndrome. They are the founders of "My Aspie and Me," a private Facebook group for Christian women. They hear women in their group say that they no longer recognize themselves and don't know who they are. Both also experienced a loss of themselves in their marriages.
This is a timely topic given the awareness of more women that the problems they have been dealing with in their painful and difficult marriages are Asperger's. Understanding how and why they experience this loss of self is necessary because they will need to intentionally restore it to create a better life for themselves.
My Aspie and Me private Facebook group is specifically designed for Christian women. It provides relational, marital, personal, and spiritual help for women married to neurodiverse men with Asperger's Syndrome. To join, please send a message to the group admin expressing your interest via Facebook Messenger. You will receive a message via Facebook Messenger.
#AspergersMarriage #NeurodiverseMarriage #ChristianMarriageHelp #ChangeMyRelationship #ChristianSelfHelp #ChristianRelationshipHelp
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This video provides therapists and counselors with a list of goals that the abuser needs if there is any hope of change. Most of the therapy provided for abusers misses some key elements that prevent lasting change. If you are in an abusive relationship, please watch to learn what your abuser has to do. #therapygoals #personalgrowth #toxicrelationship
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Did you know that you can change your thoughts to change your life? You can, and it will have an immediate effect on your feelings and actions. It isn't difficult. If you are struggling with behaviors you cannot change, emotions that are sabotaging your life, or relationships that are stuck in a rut, watch this video to find out how to change your thoughts to change your life. #thoughts #thoughtsfeelings #changeyourlife
Here is the link to download the chart to change your thinking: https://karladowningresources.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/rational_thinking_chart.pdf
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Setting boundaries is difficult when you are confused about what each person is responsible for, but if you know the difference between a burden and a load in Galatians 6:2-5, it gives you a helpful guideline. Because limits are different for each person and all individual factors have to be taken into consideration, it helps to have an objective test. If you struggle with setting Christian boundaries, watch this video to know the difference between a burden and a load. #christianboundaries #settingboundaries #boundaries
Here is the link to the Boundaries Zoom Study or to buy the study to do on your own: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/boundaries-setting-healthy-relationships-limits-zoom-study/
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In 2017, Christine’s husband John died suddenly following what should have been a routine operation. They had been married 24 years, and their daughter was 18 at the time. Less than three years after her husband’s
death, both of Christine’s parents died, adding more layers to her grief. In this interview, she describes her intentional grieving process and the things that helped her to survive and thrive, or "surthrive" as she called it.
Christine is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping clients navigate the grief journey, enabling her to share helpful insights from her professional and personal experience.
The psychological-emotional-spiritual journey of recovery from the loss of significant family members led Christine to relocate from California to Tennessee three years ago. Christine’s relationship with Jesus Christ has been a cornerstone to her ability to thrive in what might be considered devastating circumstances. She writes in detail about her process of grief in her new book called Falling Is Part of the Journey: How I Found Life While Grieving Losses.
Christine Lister is licensed to do marriage and family therapy in Tennessee and California. Her practice is physically located in the central time zone in East Tennessee where she offers both in person and video sessions. Her specialties include recovery from grief and loss, especially loss of a spouse, and anxiety management from a Christ-focused approach.
Christine Lister's website: ListerCounseling.com.
Christine's Book - Falling Is Part of the Journey: How I Found Life While Grieving Losses
Griefshare.org is a faith-based program available online and in person at various churches.
TheraTapper™ was mentioned as a method of processing trauma associated with EMDR. Here is the link for more information on it: https://theratapperinc.com/.
Here is more information on EMDR: https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/.
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If you have addicts and alcoholics in your life, you need to learn how to detach. If you don't, you may find yourself trying to force them to get sober and losing yourself in the process. Without the ability to separate yourself from their addiction and alcoholism, you can become obsessed with fixing them. You may find yourself feeling afraid and angry and wondering why you are not capable of convincing the person you care about to make better choices. If this sounds like you, watch this video to learn how to detach from the addicts and alcoholics in your life. #detachment
detaching #dysfunctionalrelationship #addictionstruggles
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If you fear abandonment, you probably don't know how to detach. Detaching is about separating yourself from other people's opinions, emotions, reactions, choices, blame, threats, and more. That's hard to do when you need to be attached to people to feel okay. The problem is that you will be even more dependent on what they do, feel, and think, so you desperately need to be able to separate yourself. Watch this video to learn how you can detach even though you struggle with the fear of abandonment. #fearofabandonment #detaching #detachment #dysfunctionalrelationship
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Detaching from enablers is necessary when they are providing the means for people you care about to continue in their addiction and irresponsible behavior. It is hard enough to set your own boundaries with your loved one doing things you cannot support but when other people enable, you need to figure out how to respond to them too. Watch this video to help you to respond the right way. #addiction #detaching #irresponsible #enablers
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Do you find yourself unable to detach and unable to function well in your own life when someone close to you is not okay? You don't have to live that way. This video will show you how to detach with love so you can say, "I'm okay when you're not okay." #detachment #difficultrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship #beingok #healthyrelationships
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Setting boundaries isn't easy because a relationship has so many variables. Because of that, it is helpful to have specific components to focus on. One of those is to determine who is responsible for what. Once you know those things, it is easier to figure out what your limits should be. Watch this video on setting boundaries to learn how to determine who is responsible. #responsibilty #settingboundaries #Christianboundaries
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Letitia Iona's first marriage was dysfunctional. When it was obvious that her children were negatively impacted, she knew she had to divorce. After moving to Tennessee to relocate as a single mom, she met her second husband and was excited about their new life together. Shortly after the honeymoon, he was angry, verbally abusive, and avoidant. Letitia shares her journey through divorce, single motherhood, a verbally abusive marriage, and family relocation. Through each trial, she uncovered God's deeper purpose prompting her to write the book, "There Is Purpose In Your Pain." Letitia and Karla discuss what she discovered about the purpose of pain in her life and the interviews she did for the book. Join us and you will be thinking deeply about the purpose of your pain and thrilled to discover that it isn't hard to figure out. Letitia Iona is a multifaceted professional singer, worship leader, elementary music school teacher, life coach, voice and piano instructor, and the author of “There is Purpose in Your Pain: Embracing Adversity and Finding God’s Purpose in the Midst of Life’s Challenges.” Her work aims to inspire and guide others toward Christ, offering hope and triumph amidst life’s challenges.
Letitia Iona is passionate about coaching, teaching, and supporting single mamas & women in difficult marriages. In 2021, she self-published an eBook “A Guidebook to Living a Wonder Woman Lifestyle: Written by a Single Mama for Single Mamas.” Following the sudden passing of a close friend, Letitia Iona was reminded that “life is short” and pursued her dream of relocating her family from California to Tennessee. She now resides in Clarksville with her daughter.
Letitia's book: There is Purpose in Your Pain: Embracing Adversity and Finding God’s Purpose in the Midst of Life’s Challenges https://www.amazon.com/There-Purpose-Your-Pain-Challenges/dp/B0DT9GW8RK
Letitia's Website: https://letitiaionastudios.com/
Letitia's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letitia.ugwueke
purposeinpain #toxicrelationships #findingpurpose #personalgrowth
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When you are dealing with chronic liars, it is infuriating and hard to believe that despite the many promises to never lie again, they do. You probably ask why and how it could happen. But more importantly for you to figure out is "Why do you believe their lies?" #chronicliars #dysfunctionalrelationship #healthyrelationshipsteps #toxicrelationships #boundaries #dysfunctionaldynamics
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What is the difference between forcing a solution where you are trying to control someone's behavior and setting a boundary where you are drawing a limit for yourself? Watch this video to get the answer to that question. #difficultrelationship #boundaries #controlling
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Abigail did not submit to her husband Nabal when he refused to help David and his men. This biblical story provides submission principles women can use to confidently say no to things that violate their consciences. #difficultrelationships #toxicrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship #scripturalmisunderstandings
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It isn't easy to listen to someone saying things you disagree with. It is hard to hear someone is upset with you, and even harder to not receive it as an attack and defend yourself. It takes self-restraint to focus on what is being said when your emotions are out of control. Defensiveness and reactivity are primary reasons that conflict escalates and isn't resolved. There is an approach that can make it easier for you to listen, and that is to be curious about the other person. Watch this video to find out how to do that and why it works. #reactivity #becurious #listen
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People are often out of touch with what is going on with themselves. This leads to problems in their lives and relationships. Whether it is feeling an emotion, problem-solving a situation, making a decision, or resolving a conflict, it helps to be self-aware. Not knowing what and why you are acting and reacting the way you are means you lack valuable insight.
The alternative is to be curious about yourself. Watch this video to find out how you can do that to improve your life and relationships...
selfawareness #becurious
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Dysfunctional people do all kinds of hurtful things and rarely ask for forgiveness. It is common to struggle with forgiveness because there are so many hurtful things done. The Bible tells us that God doesn't forgive us when we don't forgive our offenders, but does this really mean you aren't forgiven? #forgiveness #boundaries #toxicrelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship #emotionalhealing
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Greg and Edie describe their son's eight-year journey through heroin addiction which impacts the family in profound ways. They describe how it disrupted their lives and how they grappled with the difficult and scary decisions of how much to help. They share the tools they learned that gave them wisdom, health, and peace. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, 40.3 million people in the United States had a substance abuse disorder in 2020. This means that at least two family members were impacted for a minimum of 80.6 million people whose lives were disrupted. It is more likely a minimum of four people making it a total of 161.2 million people who have been affected by a family member's drug use. Of those 40.3 million people with substance use disorder, only 6.5 percent received treatment. Their son got clean after many rehabs and 127 changes in where he lived over eight years after finally hitting his bottom. If you have a loved one who is imprisoned by addiction, listen to this story. It will give you experience, strength, and hope for your journey. #addictionrecovery #boundaries #truthinlove #toxicrelationships Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Abuse victims often experience a lack of support and mistreatment when they describe what is happening to them. This lack of support is labeled as "Double Abuse" by Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project. Find out what Double Abuse is and why it is harmful to the victim. #dysfunctionalrelationship #abusevictims #doubleabuse #toxicrelationshiprecovery
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It isn't always easy to identify dysfunctional dynamics in a relationship. You can't diagnose people and figure out all the complex behavior that doesn't make sense. You can't always be unbiased in how you view them. There is something you can focus on: how you feel with a toxic vs a healthy person. Unhealthy people negatively impact our bodies, emotions, and spirit. We often ignore these signs but if we want insight, it is important to pay attention. Ask yourself: how do you feel with a toxic vs a healthy person. You will be surprised at what you find out. #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #healthyrelationships #christianrelationships
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Even though they looked perfect from the outside to everyone who knew them and held a prominent position in the community, life within their home was anything but perfect. Wendy describes her journey in an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage where her husband weaponized scripture. Truth was mixed with untruth increasing the confusion and self-doubt. Anyone who has been gaslit, manipulated, abused. or controlled will identify with Wendy's experience of doubting herself and feeling confused enough to accept the blame and question her sanity. It took thirty-five years for Wendy to get the necessary clarity to see the dynamics for what they were and the strength to initiate a separation. #weaponizedscripture #spiritualabuse #toxicrelationship #gaslighting
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As Christians, we want to know God's will for our lives. When we make decisions, we seek guidance that we can trust. We get it from numerous sources: the Bible, pastors, things we hear, things we read, social media posts, friends, counselors, and more.
The problem is that we often become double-minded because we consider everything we hear and see as equal. God's wisdom is available for all who seek it, as James 1:5-6 says, but you will become confused if you don't hear it in the right frame of mind.
Watch this video to get clarity on your decision-making as a Christian...
christiandecisionmaking #decisionmaking #confusedpicture #rightframeofmind
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Detaching in relationships is necessary to observe to learn the dysfunctional family dynamics you are dealing with. It is easy to be so entangled with your family that you cannot see what is going on. To be able to interact differently, you have to identify what you typically do and what the other people do. Detaching in the relationships by observing to learn is what you need to do. #detachment #detachinlove #familydysfunction
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This boundary check-up applies Romans 13:10 to your relationship by having you answer four questions. The principle of love does no harm allows you to test the purpose and effect of your boundary for all impacted parties. It is often difficult to figure out your limits but to have the confidence to set them and stick to them, you need to know they are what they need to be. This check-up will help you do that. #christianboundaries #lovedoesnoharm #dysfunctionalrelationship #boundaries
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Susan Justice is a retired nurse, author, and speaker, sharing the devastation of abortion and her healing through Jesus Christ. Susan uses her testimony to promote life-affirming solutions to persons facing unintended pregnancies and to share healing avenues with those impacted by abortion, honor her child, share the emotional/spiritual/relational “fall-out” that occurred, and educate on “Post Abortion Syndrome.” She desires to proclaim that healing is available through Jesus Christ for moms and dads.
Tragically, 18% (or nearly 1 out of every 5 pregnancies) in the U.S. end in abortion. One in four women (25%) have had an abortion by the age of 45. Fifty percent of those are repeat abortions. Sixty percent of those having abortions felt coerced. Forty- four percent of men report they did not have a voice in the abortion decision. Twenty-two million people are currently hurting after their abortion experiences. Eighty-two percent of people impacted by abortion do not know where to go for help. Medication abortion accounted for 53% of all facility-based abortions in the United States in 2020. That trend appears to be continuing.
Susan served in the past as the Coordinator of an Abortion Recovery Ministry at a Pro-Life Pregnancy Care Center. She has published articleswith Live Action, Pregnancy Help News, and other Pro-life media outlets. She has been the featured speaker on radio, at churches, banquets, and other venues. Susan is married to her best friend. They have two sons. Susan's booklet Out of Grief and Into Wholeness: Finding Healing Through Christ After Abortion (https://a.co/d/inPTAJS) is available on Amazon. (All proceeds are donated to Pro-life Pregnancy Resource Centers.)
Abortion PTSD Symptoms — Abortion is often a traumatic experience for everyone involved. (mothers, fathers, and others influencing an abortion decision) For more information on abortion PTSD symptoms:
https://ramahinternational.org/abortion-ptsd-symptoms/
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/post-abortive-symptoms/
Resources for Post-Abortion Healing:
https://optionline.org/
http://www.internationalhelpline.org/helpline
https://h3helpline.org/help-after-abortion/abortion-helpline/
https://saveone.org/
https://supportafterabortion.com/ site offers options-based healing for those desiring religious or secular, peer-led or clinical, and in-person or virtual healing.
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/post-abortive-recovery-resources/
https://abortionchangesyou.com/
https://cantstaysilent.com/
https://surrenderingthesecret.com/
Bible Study Books:
Forgiven and Set Free by Linda Cochrane https://amzn.to/3YFLFxv
Healing a Father’s Heart by Linda Cochrane https://amzn.to/48fVh5d
A place to honor the dignity of your child through a Memorial Plaque:
National Memorial for the Unborn - https://www.memorialfortheunborn.org
griefprocess #abortionrecovery #christianhealing
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Do you have Christian boundaries with chronically negative people or do they get on your nerves until you finally lose your patience? If you have these people in your life, you know they aren't easy to deal with. They are incredibly annoying and nothing you do can change them into positive people. That means the only thing you can do is to change yourself. Watch this video to learn how to set Christian boundaries with chronically negative people. #christianboundaries #negativepeople #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship
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How should Christians deal with financial adversity? You may consider this to be an unnecessary question to ask or answer. It might surprise you that many people have an unbalanced view of that subject and it can cause them problems. Watch this video to get an answer to that important question. #FinancialAdversity #ChristianFinance #relationshipdynamics #askingforhelp
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Do you want to know how to be a good mother-in-law to your daughter-in-law? There are specific things you can do and cannot do. Some of them will be easier for you than others. Some of them will be more difficult based on your needs and personality. Some will depend on the personality of your daughter-in-law. Watch this video to do your part to build a good relationship with your daughter-in-law. #christianrelationshipadvice #relationshipissues #healthyrelationships #christianboundaries
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If you have family members or friends with different opinions than you on political or religious views, you have probably had difficult discussions. These can cause relationship strain or even estrangement. There are specific things you can do to navigate strong differences of opinion in your relationships. #differenceofopinion #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #healthyrelationships
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We tend to over-explain ourselves to difficult people. It's almost as if we want their approval so we know they aren't upset with us. So what should you do? Should you explain or not explain your boundary? Should you explain or not explain the reason for the decision you made? The answer is: It depends. You need to figure out what is best for you in the specific situation with that person. There are times you should explain yourself and times you should not. To deal with dysfunctional people, you need to know principles to apply to choose the right option. Watch this video to find out which principles help you decide should you explain or not explain? #difficultrelationships #overexplaining #boundaries #christianboundaries
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After going through her fourth divorce, Marquette experienced profound shame and hopelessness. She overcame the shame by learning the lessons she needed to learn from each one. Marquette shares these lessons to help other women going through separation and divorce.
Marquette Walker is an internationally known and respected minister, speaker, and the of author "Divorced, But Not Defeated." She has fearlessly spearheaded the Winning Women Movement, where she empowers women to shamelessly overcome the stigma of multiple marriages, and restore their hope for healed and healthy marriages.
Marquette is happily married to her husband Gabe Walker, and they share a wonderful home and family in Morrison, North Carolina. #christianrelationshipadvice #difficultmarriage #dysfunctionalrelationship #christianhealing #christiandivorce #marquettewalker #divorcehealing
Marquette's book "Divorced but Not Defeated: Woman, You Will Win This" https://amzn.to/3XYCW9h
Follow Marquette:
Website: marquettelwalkerministries.com
Email: mlwalkerministries[at]gmail.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarquetteLWalkerMinistries
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/destined4grtnss8
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/100090424574071
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marquette-l-walker-0a325045/
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Spiritual bypassing harms the recipient by minimizing and shaming their pain rather than empathizing and supporting them. Many of these spiritual bypassing examples are also common Bible pat answers heard from church people when you share life problems. You have probably been the recipient of this harmful practice more than you realize, as it happens frequently. Learn to identify what this is so you will not do it and to recognize when it is being done to you. #dysfunctionalrelationship #spiritualbypassing #toxicrelationship
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Stonewalling is one of many dysfunctional dynamics people deal with in their problem relationships. If you are wondering what it is, think of a stone wall. You can't push it or move it and it keeps you from moving forward. Stonewalling shuts down the possibility of resolving problems in your relationship. Watch this video to learn how you can deal with the dysfunctional dynamic of stonewalling. #stonewalling #boundaries #dysfunctionalrelationship #dysfunctionalcommunication
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There are many types of dysfunctional relationship dilemmas. One of them is how to handle people when actions don't match promises. What do you do? Should you continue to be friends with them? Should you give them the benefit of the doubt and take their promises as the truth? Or, should you make decisions based on the relationship history? It is important when dealing with dysfunction to have a toolbox of tips and truths to apply. There is a principle that applies in this situation. Watch this video to find out what that is... #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #relationshipproblems
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Watch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/wNfJamJjjsY
You should consider human nature psychology when setting boundaries. Doing so will enable you to predict how people will respond to your weak or strong boundaries by what people typically do in similar situations. It isn't hard to predict because we are all basically the same when we are acting according to our human nature. Find out what aspects of human nature predict responses to boundaries. #humannaturepsychology #Christianboundaries #Christianboundarysetting
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If you struggle with Christian codependency, you are likely a highly loyal person to everyone in your life, but have you ever thought about keeping promises to yourself? Self-care is neglected by codependents. You must get to where you know you are equally and often more important than others because you are the one who must make sure you are functioning well. Making and keeping promises to yourself is a part of codependent recovery. #dysfunctionalrelationship #christiancodependency #selfcare #selfimprovement
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipTake one of Karla's classes: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/
Watch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/Uacp3WcNHBM
People who refuse to take responsibility for their own choices blame them on others. Detaching from blamers is the only thing that will enable you to not be drawn into their game. If you don't detach, you will become defensive and argue with the person to deny responsibility. You may also struggle with deep guilt and question yourself as you battle with the possibility that you are to blame. Watch this video to put an end to this by detaching from blamers. #detachment #blamers #dysfunctionalrelationship
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Do you recognize when someone is using forgiveness manipulatively in your relationship? Do you know the difference between genuine repentance and false repentance? Can you recognize when the Bible is being used to spiritually bypass and spiritually abuse you? You need to identify this type of manipulation to respond appropriately. This is especially important when the offender is not taking responsibility and is not repentant. Watch this video to learn how to recognize when someone is using forgiveness manipulatively. #manipulativeforgiveness #forgiveness #manipulation #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship
Christianboundaries #Christianboundarysetting
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Laura was over 60 years old and had been married for almost 40 years when she came to my class for women in difficult marriages. Depressed, lonely, frustrated, unhappy, and without hope that her husband would and could change, she embraced the 10 Principles to better her own life in any way possible. To her surprise, not only did she change, but so did her husband. If you are in an unhappy marriage, without hope, frustrated, and depressed, listen to Laura's story to find out what she did to get change. #changeyourself #difficultmarriage #christianrelationships
Change My Relationship Classes: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Silent treatments are destructive and painful. Living with someone who refuses to engage or respond to you for an extended period isn't easy. It feels like you have no choice but to endure, but is that true? It might surprise you to know that there you have options. You can choose how to respond to a silent treatment. There are ways to respond to a silent treatment that can it better for you and ways that can make it worse for you. Watch this video to find out what those are.#boundaries #christianrelationshipadvice #silenttreatment #toxicrelationships
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Why do addicts and dysfunctional lie? There are multiple reasons that you need to understand if you want to deal with them appropriately. The lies harm your relationship and put you in the difficult position of having to decide whether you believe them or not. This puts you in the position of being the one at fault for not believing them. Watch this video to understand why addicts and dysfunctional people lie to empower you in the relationship. #dysfunctionalrelationship #lies #understandingrelationships #christianrelationships
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Should you stay or should you go? When to leave a relationship is always a difficult decision that only you can make. This video provides guidelines for you to consider. While no one can tell you that you have to leave or have to stay in a toxic family relationship, toxic job, or toxic marriage, it is helpful to have factors to weigh as you process that decision. #christianboundaries#christianrelationshipadvice#toxicrelationships
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Grandparents are navigating a different relationship with their children and in-laws than they had as parents. These guidelines for grandparents with their grandchildren will give you the knowledge you need to avoid mistakes that can cause relationship problems. Watch this video to learn what those boundaries are so you don't violate them. #boundaries #grandparenting #understandingrelationships
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Parenting is a difficult job. We do it because we love our children. None of us plan to hurt them. It never occurs to us that our children will end up criticizing our efforts and harboring resentments. But when they do, we must handle it the right way. Do you know how to listen to your adult child's hurt from you? If you don't, you will likely make things worse by reacting the wrong way. It is never easy to hear your adult child's perceptions of the things you've done to cause pain and hurt--even when you want to listen. It is easy to feel fearful and attacked and get defensive, but this guarantees there won't be any healing. Watch this video to prepare yourself to listen to your adult child's hurt from you. #healing #dysfunctionalrelationship #healthyrelationships
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According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women's Health, autoimmune diseases affect more than 23.5 million people in the U.S. and are more common in women than in men. Wendy shares her story of what it is like to live with her chronic illnesses, rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. She openly shares the impact on her life, marriage, and mental health along with the lessons she has learned to cope that give her hope. Whether you have a chronic illness, are a caregiver for someone who does, or simply want to learn more about how chronic illness impacts so many of those around you, you will benefit from listening to Wendy's courageous story. Sign up for Karla's upcoming classes: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/ Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Dealing with boundary busters isn't easy unless you have strong boundaries and are aware of their tactics. They can't make your boundaries ineffective if you understand how to set boundaries that cannot be busted. Watch this video to learn how to do that. #boundaries #dysfunctionalrelationship #christianboundaries #boundarybuster
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Dealing with people who always have to be right isn't easy. There isn't any way to convince them that you have a valid different opinion and it can make you livid to let them get away with thinking you agree with them. So what do you do with them? Watch this video to find out. #dysfunctionalrelationship #understandingrelationships #greyrock #boundaries #christianboundaries
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Fear of repercussions when speaking your truth and setting boundaries is a natural feeling when you are in a dysfunctional relationship. It makes sense to be worried about a backlash when you know you are likely to get one that is uncomfortable or even abusive. Difficult, toxic, and dysfunctional people do not like it when you stand up to them. They will do whatever they have to so you will back down from your boundary and abandon your truth. Watch this video to learn how to deal with the fear of repercussions when speaking your truth and setting boundaries so you can stand strong.#speakingtruth #settingboundaries #christianboundaries #dysfunctionalrelationship
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In this presentation, Karla Downing provides the steps that are necessary to intelligently handle emotions. She challenges the beliefs we have about feelings, especially in the Church, and helps the listener to view emotions simply and practically. She also addresses how to teach your children to be emotionally intelligent. This is an invaluable talk that can make profound changes in your life, your family, and your marriage. Listen to it and talk about it to challenge your beliefs about emotions. Handout: https://karladowningresources.files.wordpress.com/2024/04/how-to-be-emotionally-intelligent-and-teach-your-children-to-be-emotionally-intelligent.pdf Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Do you struggle with Christian codependency? Are you a people pleaser? Do you feel guilty when you say no? If you said yes because you believe God wants you to say yes, you need to know how to make a healthy decision as to whether you should help or not when someone asks. Watch this video to learn how to stop being a Christian codependent. #codependency #helpingothers #christianboundaries
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Do you have trouble making decisions? Do you doubt all your decisions after you make them? Do you need guidance to help you know what to do when you are indecisive? There is a simple solution. Watch this video to find out what it is. #decisionmaking #christianrelationships
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Narcissistic parents are extremely difficult to deal with and cause lots of toxicity in your relationship. Once you have that figured out, you realize that they are now narcissistic grandparents of your children and it becomes even more complicated to manage. Watch this video to get some tips on how to deal with your narcissistic parents now that they are your children's narcissistic grandparents. #DysfunctionalRelationship #NarcissisticParents #ChristianBoundaries
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Liz Woolley grew up in an alcoholic broken home. Although she struggled with her own alcoholism and two dysfunctional relationships with addicts, she recognized after two failed marriages and multiple serious relationships that her core addiction was codependency. She shares her story hoping that others will recognize the roots of their relationship failures and why they lose themselves in their relationships. Liz shares the hope that is available through Twelve Step programs for codependency recovery and addiction recovery.
Christiancodependency #dysfunctionalrelationship #codependencyrecovery #understandingrelationships #alcoholism
Codependency Anonymous: https://coda.org/
Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.aa.org/
Al-Anon Family Groups: https://al-anon.org/
Online Gamers Anonymous, Olg-Anon and Liz's website: https://www.olganon.org/home
"Surviving the Puzzle of My Life": https://a.co/d/5dr0enb
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/TQnKOKou66Q
When is it okay to withhold emotionally, financially, relationally, mentally, sexually, or anything else you would normally give in a relationship? Withholding can be abusive and unhealthy but there are times when it is necessary. Watch this video to learn when to withhold and when not to withhold. #dysfunctionalrelationship #relationshipdynamics #christianboundaries
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/Tddtar6CKN0
Should you label dysfunctional people? Some people would tell you yes and some would tell you no. Watch this video to hear my perspective on this important topic.
dysfunctionalrelationship #dysfunctionalpeople #labelingdysfunction
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/bliLKR9ljBI
When people refuse to listen to what you say, do you feel rejected, hurt, frustrated, or angry? Do you resolve to keep trying until they take you seriously? Do you give in to keep the peace? You don't have to do any of these. Jesus gave his disciples a visual of detaching when this happened to them by telling them to shake the dust off their feet. Watch this video to learn how to apply this detachment principle to your difficult relationships. #detachment #christiandetachment #dysfunctionalrelationship
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/2hyKKhihe2w
In 2001, Liz Woolley did not know that video gaming could take her son's life, but that is exactly what happened. Since then, she has dedicated her life to raising awareness and offering support to individuals and families impacted by the toxic dangers of online media. In this podcast, Karla and Liz discuss the toxic danger of online media and what parents can do to protect their children. Liz Woolley has appeared on the Dr. Phil Show, 48 Hours, CBC Market Place, Fox Nation's Deep Dive, and NPR Radio and interviewed by numerous major print publications. Liz's career was in Information Technology for 30 years. She has four children and nine grandchildren. Her book with Shawn's story, "Your Son Did Not Die In Vain," is available on Amazon.com. The book "The Toxic Dangers of On-Line Media" will be available shortly on Amazon.
Community raising their children with no TV, Internet, etc. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhY0UBioTvA
The online-gamers 12 Step Support groups: www.olganon.org
Find a Professional to help with gaming and social media addiction in your area: https://www.olganon.org/professionals
101 + things to do beside the internet and games (Under 18): https://www.olganon.org/101-things-do-instead-playing-video-games-under-age-18
101 + things to do beside the internet and games (adults) https://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-gamers-open-forum/101-things-do-instead-gaming
Many of us feel stuck in our difficult relationships because we can’t force other people to change. When we finally accept that we are powerless over people, places, and things, we can go too far by believing we are powerless over everything else. We are not. “Power” means the ability to make something happen or to produce an effect. You can own your power to do many things. Watch this video to find out what they are. #ownyourpower #innerstrength #detachment
Handout: https://karladowningresources.files.wordpress.com/2024/04/owning-your-power.pdf
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/56UT6eTXK8Q
This video makes a case for biblical boundaries using Matthew 5:37 and explains how "no" can be a sentence. If that seems too simple, ask yourself how many times you are able to say "no" to someone without any explanation or excuse. I would bet that it isn't often. Watch this video to find out why you should feel right about answering with this one-word answer when you don't agree with doing what the person is asking you to do. #ChristianBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #christianrelationships
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/ePP4cbaLLP4
The four c's are the three c's plus one: "You don't cause it, can't cure it, and can't control it" and the fourth "c" is "You can choose." This saying is a reminder that we cannot change the difficult people in our lives and we aren't responsible for their choices but we can make choices for ourselves.
DysfunctionalRelationship #FourCs #DifficultPeople
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/YdFqyd4T30c
In 2001, Liz Woolley did not know that video gaming could take her son's life, but that is exactly what happened. After this horrifying tragedy, Liz, who was a member of numerous 12-Step organizations, started a 12-step fellowship for video game addicts (OLGA) followed by OLG-Anon, a group for family members, loved ones, and friends. Outreach, a community for those who inform and reach out to others, was formed later.i During this interview, Liz shares some of the information she wrote in her book, "The Toxic Dangers of Video Games." Every parent and grandparent should listen to this interview which includes ideas on how to protect your children from these dangers. Liz has been on the Dr. Phil Show, 48 Hours, CBC Market Place, Fox Nation's Deep Dive, and NPR Radio and has been interviewed by numerous major print publications. Liz's career was in Information Technology for 30 years. She has four children and nine grandchildren. The book, "The Toxic Dangers of Video Games," can be found on Amazon.com. The website for information on the 12-12 Step Support groups: www.olganon.org
"Your Son Did Not Die In Vain": https://a.co/d/7hCpCBd
"The Toxic Dangers of Video Games.: Things you need to know about video games and the internet. (The Toxic Nature of Technologies)": https://a.co/d/cBkrK5C
20/20 episode on video gaming addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ytte2C1rdiU. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/kvjI5B2sP0o
Using reason in your life and relationships will give you stability, understanding, the ability to resolve conflict, and the ability to make wise decisions. The opposite of reason is using emotional reactivity which is at the root of dysfunction and misunderstanding. Listen to this video based on Isaiah 1:18 which explains how if God reasons with us, we need to recognize the importance of doing it in our lives and relationships. #listening #conflictresolution #healthyrelationship #emotionalreactivity #dysfunctionalrelationship
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/LTfzWQpHZdI
It can be confusing and frustrating to deal with difficult people. In this presentation, Karla Downing provides 16 tips for dealing with them. Each has an accompanying Bible verse and practical points to help you apply them to your life and relationships. These are a sample of the practical tools based on biblical truth Karla teaches in her classes and books. These tools enable you to respond in a healthy and empowering way.
Handout: https://karladowningresources.files.wordpress.com/2024/04/16-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-people.pdf
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Should you stop guarding your heart in your relationship? It depends on why you are doing it and what the other person is doing. We guard our hearts to protect ourselves understandably, but it may no longer be necessary. You must know how to make that determination. If you don't, you can risk more hurt and damage to your heart. Watch this video to answer the question, "Should you stop guarding your heart in your relationship?"
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/Fh8fBTehcqE
Christian recovery tools include the topic of acceptance. Alcoholics Anonymous describes it as "accepting life on life's terms." This video looks at the specific hindrances to accepting life on life's terms enabling you to overcome them to reach acceptance. #ChristianRecovery #Acceptance #AcceptingLifeOnLifesTerms
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/mP2AImi0Rq8
You must know how to detach from manipulative people because if you don't, they will succeed in disrupting your life by controlling you. It is impossible to change a manipulative person, so your only choice is to figure out how not to give in to them by learning how to detach.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Watch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/4HQGaPYbthM
In 2001, Liz Woolley did not know that video gaming could take her son's life, but that is exactly what happened. Hear her heart-wrenching story of how Shawn went from a normal happy boy to an isolated, depressed, and distraught young man without hope. After this horrifying tragedy, Liz, who was a member of numerous 12-Step organizations, started a 12-step fellowship for video game addicts (OLGA) followed by OLG-Anon, a group for family members, loved ones, and friends. Outreach, a community for those who inform and reach out to others was formed later. She has been on the Dr. Phil Show, 48 Hours, CBC Market Place, Fox Nation's Deep Dive, and NPR Radio and interviewed by numerous major print publications. Liz's career was in Information Technology for 30 years. She has four children and nine grandchildren. Her book with Shawn's story, "Your Son Did Not Die In Vain," is available on Amazon.com. The website for information on the 12-Step Program help for gamers and their families can be found at www.Olganon.org. #gamingaddiction #toxicvideogames #addictionrecover #addictiontreatment #addiction
12 Step Support groups: www.olganon.org
"Your Son Did Not Die In Vain": https://a.co/d/7hCpCBd
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/x5KXwvXUhgU
If you've got difficult, dysfunctional, and toxic people in your life, you need to know what detachment is and is not. Detaching in love will set you free so you are not affected by everything they do and don't do. Learn what it is and isn't by watching this life-changing video. #detachment #detachinlove #toxicrelationships #christianboundaries
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/cjqRUTxICDI
People get defensive when you confront them because they perceive it as an attack. It is helpful to communicate in ways that increase the chance they hear what you say. Owning the problem can minimize defensiveness. Watch this video to learn how to do that and why it works.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube:https://youtu.be/taDajkYyDSI
Life can be overwhelming at times and it is even more overwhelming when you are dealing with dysfunctional family members. It is helpful to have a plan for when it is. One of the most helpful things to do is to handle one thing at a time by doing the next indicated thing. Watch this video to find out how to do that the next time you are dealing with more than you handle emotionally, relationally, physically, mentally, and financially. #selfcare #movingforward #copingskills
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7B_qI9-zr68
If you are in a relationship with a person who is a narcissist, you have probably been accused by that person of being a narcissist yourself. This is likely confusing to you because you aren't anything like the narcissist and don't understand how that person can be that deep in denial that they blame and project their own traits onto you. Watch this video to answer the question: Why does the narcissist call you a narcissist? #narcissism #narcissiticabuse
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7B_qI9-zr68
Do you know how to detach and stay engaged in the relationship? Most people don't. Detachment means disinterest, indifference, abandonment, numbness, or denial to them, but that isn't the only way. It is possible to stay involved while living your own life. Watch this video to learn how.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1eOXYqm4Z2s
This video identifies and corrects four misbeliefs that fuel false guilt in codependency. Codependents have many characteristics: one is that they feel overly responsible for other people, accept blame for others' choices, and have trouble saying no. Watch this video to identify the four misbeliefs driving false guilt. #christianboundaries #boundaries #boundariesinrelationships #falseguilt #christianrelationships
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fZaOd0kWGuo
Can a suicide threat be manipulative? Suicide threats are serious and need to be taken seriously. However, when you are dealing with a difficult person who uses the threat of suicide to manipulate you, you must recognize it. Watch this video to learn how to differentiate between a real threat and a manipulative one. #christianrelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/XVHVihNMMos?si=8Rl3znjWgXzLyAzz
Have you found yourself searching for magic words to change people because they are doing things that hurt you, themselves, or others? If you struggle with codependency, you likely feel a compulsive need to try to figure out the right words to get them to understand your concerns. If you've ever searched in desperation to figure out the right words, watch this video.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationshipWatch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/83K9UiTC1RE
Claire describes her two sons' childhoods and their introduction to drugs and how this along with mental illness in the youngest led to having to ask them to leave her home. She describes the guilt, shame, fear, anger, and physical health problems that she experienced over their demands, abuse, and homelessness. She shares the tools she learned in Karla Downing's classes and from the National Alliance of Mental Illness. National Alliance of Mental Illness NAMI.org Transforming Difficult Relationships Class https://www.changemyrelationship.com/transforming-difficult-relationships-class/"When Love Hurts: 10 Principles to Transform Difficult Relationships" https://www.changemyrelationship.com/when-love-hurts-10-principles-to-transform-difficult-relationships/
"Change My Relationship: 365 Daily Devotions for Christians in Difficult Relationships" https://www.changemyrelationship.com/change-my-relationship-365-daily-devotions-for-christians-in-difficult-relationships/
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Face your fears before you set a boundary. Because setting limits is a risk, it isn't easy, especially in difficult relationships where you will get pushback. When you do, you have to stand firm; if you haven't faced your fears first, you will have trouble doing that. You can have strong boundaries once you have faced your fears.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Navigating a marital separation carefully is critical in maximizing the chances that there will be the necessary changes that will allow you to reunite. If it isn't done correctly, marital separation can actually be a step toward divorce and make it harder to get back together. Listen to this podcast before you navigate a marital separation.
Separation Guidelines: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/christians-and-divorce-navigating-a-separation/
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Do you know the dance of intimacy? Healthy relationships have mutual interactions where both people make moves that bring them closer together. Unhealthy relationships lack these skills and as a result, they often move further apart.
You can assess how well you do each of these things in your relationships. You can also assess how well the other person does them to recognize the potential for growth in your relationship.
Dysfunctional relationships are confusing. Learning how to identify unhealthy patterns will help you make sense of them.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. So why do we keep on doing the same thing if we know better? The answer is that we don't know what else to do. What we are doing makes sense because it is familiar and makes us feel less anxious. Figuring out what else to do is often overwhelming and complicated. But what if the answer was simple--just do something different. Anything except what you are doing and quite possibly the opposite.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Divorce is painful and extremely difficult to go through. You will experience profound grief even if you know that there is no other option than to get out of a dysfunctional marriage. The grief process has the same stages no matter what the loss is. The intensity increases when the severity of the loss increases. The more you understand the grief process, the easier it will be for you to work through it. This podcast describes the grief process that you will go through during your divorce. Please listen to it to increase your awareness and understanding.
Stages of Grief for Divorce: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/the-grief-process-in-divorce/
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
What are the signs indicating that your partner's affair is truly over? It isn't unusual for affairs to stop and start again when the betrayed partner finds out about the affair. Because you will be making important decisions, you need to know how to recognize the signs of a true ending compared to a false ending where your partner will return to the affair. Listen to this podcast to learn 7 signs indicating an affair is truly over.
Seven Signs: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/7-signs-your-spouses-affair-is-truly-over/
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
If you have difficulty owning your power to take care of yourself with people and live your life according to your own convictions, you may need to learn how to stop victimizing yourself. There a number of things you may be doing that are unnecessarily making you a victim. You may have learned them in your family of origin or be doing them to survive a difficult relationship. The truth is that you don't have to keep doing them. Watch this video to identify what you are doing to victimize yourself and how you can stop doing it.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Understanding how cognitive dissonance affects you will empower you to make decisions that honor who you are. This is especially important in dysfunctional relationships where you are pressured to give up so much of who you are to stay in the relationship and pacify people who ask you to violate your own standards.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Try grey rocking when you don't want to engage with narcissists, manipulators, and other dysfunctional people. It is an effective way to keep you from getting drawn into the drama by attempting to explain or defend your truth. Watch this video to find out what grey rocking is and how to use it.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Does "Love Covers a Multitude of Sins" equal tolerance? Does it mean you close your eyes and ignore the harmful things people do to you? Do you have to continue to forgive and move on? Or does it mean something else entirely? You need to know the answers to these questions if that Bible verse directs any of your responses to unhealthy people. Watch this video to find out what it really means.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Forgiveness is a topic that gets brought up over and over again in the space of healing from betrayal.
Jonathan Daugherty of Be Broken Ministries interviews Karla Downing on Pure Sex Radio to discuss the 8 Steps of Forgiveness. In the episode, Karla gives a robust definition of forgiveness and then walks us through eight practical steps that are essential to the process of forgiveness.
More Resources:
- The 8-Step Forgiveness Process (PDF)
- 30 Days of Blessing (PDF)
- Healing the Wounds of Your Past
Related Podcasts:
- Betrayal Healing Phases
- The 7 Steps of Forgiveness
- The Journey of Healing from Betrayal Trauma
Should you have blind trust in your relationships? Dysfunctional people including people who have lied to you, betrayed you, and manipulated you often demand it without proving to you that they are trustworthy. Do you know how to respond to them without doubting yourself? And is there a process of rebuilding trust that you can expect before offering it again? Blind trust isn't wise or healthy. Christians can have boundaries around trust.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
If you have been in dysfunctional relationships, you may have trouble recognizing when a relationship is unhealthy. It is important to know how to recognize dysfunction and unhealthy characteristics but it is also important to know what to look for in a healthy relationship because if those things are not there, then you know it isn't good and you can let it go even if you are confused about the bad.
Worksheet: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/christian-relationship-devotional-green-flags/
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Do you know how to recognize stinking thinking in a moody person or yourself? There are distinct signs that a person is slipping into a dark mood where things like resentment and self-pity are present. There is even a prediction of an addict's relapse.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
How do you recognize and deal with toxic friendships? Is there a way to analyze your friendship and know that it isn't good for you? And if you recognize it isn't healthy, can you end it? And if you want to end it, how do you do it? Are there any biblical considerations? This video will answer all these questions.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Do you find yourself or someone close to you taking offense easily to where it is a problem in the relationship? When someone is offended, is the person responsible for their own offense, or is the offender responsible? The question is important because offenses not dealt with appropriately can harm the relationship.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Practicing radical acceptance is a way of detaching and letting go of what you don't like all at once. It doesn't come naturally to most of us. What does come naturally is to get worked up and control what we don't like. Instead, radical acceptance has you do the opposite. Find out how to put it into practice.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Counting the cost of confronting is wise when you are dealing with dysfunctional family dynamics. There is a time to confront and a time not to confront. You get to decide which it is depending on the person, the situation, and what is in your best interest. Watch this video to find out how you can make a wise decision.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Emotionally immature people cause problems in relationships. You need to know how to recognize whether someone is mature or immature so you can make wise choices in response. Watch this video to learn how to identify whether a person is emotionally immature or emotionally mature.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Can a dysfunctional person be a born-again Christian? Many people who claim to be Christians are dysfunctional and toxic causing great harm to those they are in a relationship with. Those people are often confused about whether the dysfunctional person is saved and the answer matters.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
One of the reasons people say that they cannot set boundaries is that the other person won't respect them. They ignore them, challenge them, or violate them. They use manipulative tactics to get you to back down. Action boundaries don't depend on the other person's response. It is entirely up to you to decide what you will and won't do. They don't require anyone's permission or approval. You are the only one who matters. Watch this video to learn how to use action boundaries.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Dysfunctional families pick a scapegoat to blame for everything that goes wrong. This woman's story is an example of how a family fails to take care of their own responsibilities, expects the scapegoat to take them all on, and then blames the scapegoat for everything that doesn't work. Scapegoating is an incredibly abusive, manipulative, and crazymaking role in a dysfunctional family that typically lasts for life. If you aren't sure whether you are a scapegoat or you know you are but can't make sense of the confusing messages, listen to this podcast.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Typically, boundaries in relationships are you deciding what you will do and not do and not telling others what to do. This is because you cannot control what others do. However, there are times when you must use imperative boundaries. This podcast explains when to use imperative boundaries.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (NIV). What is required to live at peace with everyone? How much should you give up and give in? Some people believe the answer is, "Everything." Listen to this podcast to find out how that answer isn't correct.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Have you ever sat in the sanctuary listening to a sermon and felt sad and confused? Have you ever applied the advice you heard and felt that things got worse? Anytime I listen to a pastor, I ask myself if it needs to be a different sermon for people in difficult relationships. Some things are said in church that contain solid biblical advice but when applied can actually do damage. Among others, Christian boundaries are often not mentioned. Watch this video to hear a different sermon with biblical advice for Christian relationships and Christian marriages that you can apply amid dysfunction.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Victim shaming hurts victims on top of the hurt they have already endured. It shouldn't happen, but it often does even in the church and among Christians. Watch this video to find out the many ways victim shaming happens to ensure you aren't doing it. If you have been victim-shamed, you will find this video validating.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Do you have weak, healthy, or rigid boundaries? Did you think that all boundaries were healthy? They can also be weak or rigid. The more you know about boundaries the healthier yours can be. Watch this video to learn about setting healthy boundaries in your relationships.
Boundaries #HealthyBoundaries #ChristianBoundaries
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
"Christian toxic positivity" is religious positivity that harms instead of helps. It has certain aspects that make it easy to identify. It also has some unique characteristics in the church since it uses spiritual beliefs and Bible verses to prove its validity. Watch this video to learn how to identify and correct Christian toxic positivity, because it isn't positive.
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Is being sinful an excuse for bad behavior? Dysfunctional relationships have tons of unacceptable behavior that isn't acknowledged. It's not unusual to have people manipulate you by blaming you for their behavior. Sometimes, they apologize by confessing their sinful behavior to God, but is that enough? Can you expect a good apology, too? Watch this video to understand how narcissists, abusers, and other dysfunctional people use this Scriptural misunderstanding to manipulate you.
dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Detaching is one of my 10 Relationship-Changing Principles. I promise people that if they learn to detach, it will set them free from being emotionally, mentally, and relationally tied to the things people do. Detaching can seem difficult to grasp. That is why I like this way of describing detaching in a simplified but powerful way--Just let them. Instead of controlling what people do; offering your unwanted opinions; and getting upset when they don't do what you want, you just let them. Watch this video to find out how to "just let them" and experience freedom.
Detaching #ToxicRelationships
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
Jealousy or grief? The sin of covetousness or pain? When you feel a pang of jealousy over seeing someone who has something that you are grieving over, is it the sin of covetousness or pain? Is it normal to feel jealousy when you are grieving a loss? People often feel guilty when they experience envy when it isn't envy at all. Watch the video to find out what this scriptural misunderstanding is all about.
grief #scripturalwisdom
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
A reason is not an excuse for bad behavior. When a person acts out or mistreats you, it is typical to ask why the person did it. You often search for a cause and then the confusion comes in and makes you wonder if it is okay to expect better behavior or set boundaries with consequences. This video explains why having a reason for bad behavior isn't an excuse for bad behavior.
Boundaries #ChristianBoundaries #ToxicRelationship
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Boundaries for me but not for thee. This Christian relationship advice video exposes the hypocrisy of people who tell you that you cannot have boundaries when they have them for themselves. Becoming clear about this double standard will strengthen your resolve to stand up for yourself and set healthy boundaries in your dysfunctional relationships. Don't let toxic people tell you that you cannot set boundaries when they do. Christians can and should have boundaries in their relationships.
Boundaries #HealthyBoundaries #ChristianBoundaries
Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship
Matthew Riley, Development Director of Be Broken Ministries, offers a personal and engaging account of his recovery from sexual addiction as a result of his wife's detaching in love, as well as setting boundaries. Matthew is a former pastor and international worker. He has been married for 18 years to his wife Katherine and has four children ages 10 - 15 years old. Be Broken helps individuals and families move from sexual brokenness to wholeness in Christ. Through workshops, small groups, online courses, and partner resources, they help men overcome pornography addiction and stop other unwanted sexual behaviors. They also help wives recover from betrayal trauma, as well as families walk in God's design for sexuality. #SexualAddictionRecovery #BoundariesInMarriage #HelpForWivesofSexAddicts #ChristianMarriageHelp #DetachingInLove #ChangeMyRelationship #RelationshipAdvice #SelfHelp #SelfCare #ChristianRelationships
Why are boundaries necessary for marriage restoration after sexual betrayal? And how does a couple navigate establishing and enforcing such boundaries in a redemptive way?
Jonathan Daugherty of Be Broken Ministries interviews Karla Downing on Pure Sex Radio to answer these important questions. In this conversation, Karla defines what boundaries are, why they are necessary to rebuild a broken marriage, how they are enforced, various pitfalls to boundary-setting and boundary-keeping, and why the real “goal” is restoration. #BoundariesInMarriage #ChristianMarriageHelp #DetachingInLove #ChangeMyRelationship #RelationshipAdvice #SelfHelp #SelfCare #ChristianRelationships
This podcast is an interview by Jonathan Daugherty of Karla Downing on the important topic of how wives can detach with love in marriages to sex addicts or any other problem. Detachment sets wives free by helping them to focus on their own feelings, needs, thoughts, opinions, and perceptions while allowing their husbands to focus on theirs. This principle of detaching in love is absolutely necessary to overcome codependent enmeshment. Click for more information on Pure Sex Radio podcast and Be Broken Ministries for help for both men with sexual addictions and their wives. #ChristianMarriageHelp #DetachingInLove #ChangeMyRelationship #RelationshipAdvice #SelfHelp #SelfCare #ChristianRelationships
Dr. Stephanie Holmes and Rev. Dan Holmes interviewed your host, Karla Downing, on their NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast on the topic of "Help for Women in Complex Marriages." Much of the conversation centered around the raising of children in complex marriages. While the focus is on neurodiverse couples, the principles and tools are applicable to any dysfunctional marriage where the children are affected. Here is the link to Dan and Stephanie Holmes' NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/show/neurodiverse-christian-couples
Cooper describes how being a husband with Aspergers impacts his marriage and how he and his wife make adjustments for their marriage to work. Cooper is the husband of Kathleen previously interviewed in "Married to Aspergers." Cooper is a part of the private Facebook group "Aspie Men for God." Kathleen is a co-host of the private Facebook group "My Aspie and Me" for the spouses of Asperger mates.
Bucky was a covert emotional abuser toward his wife Annette, until he was forced to face the truth by a counselor who confronted him with what he was doing. Bucky describes the next three years as "hard work" when during a three-year separation from Annette he had to work on changing his abusive patterns. Annette founded The Mend Project to educate, equip, and restore those who are in abusive relationships and to train first-responders (https://themendproject.com).
Annette Oltmans describes her marriage to a covert emotionally abusive man and the subsequent abuse by her friends in a couples' group when they refused to believe her and instead ostracized her and embraced her husband. Annette was able to set boundaries in her marriage and her husband got support and is no longer abusive. She has never received an apology or acknowledgement from her support group.
Annette is the founder of The Mend Project which seeks to educate, equip, and restore all those impacted by Original and Double Abuse®. They train first responders, churches, and organizations to recognize abuse. The website is https://themendproject.com/.
Keith Ramachandran has severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. Listen to him tell his story of how he has learned to thrive in his life and marriage. Keith and Erin Ramachandran's website is https://mentalhealthstrong.com. Erin's book about her journey to a healthy relationship with Keith is "Mental Health Strong: A Christian's Guide to Walking Resiliently alongside Your Spouse with a Mental Health Condition."
Heather tells her story of being married to a sex addict and minimizing and denying the signs until discovering proof that she could no longer ignore. Listen to how she tried to be satisfied in a marriage without intimacy by adjusting her expectations and focusing on other things.
Anne Nelson of Fully Thriving interviews Karla Downing, M.A., MFT, founder of Change My Relationship on "Scriptural Truths for Women in Difficult Marriages." Karla's passion is to set Christians free by giving them a correct understanding of what the Bible teaches for difficult relationships, as well as practical truths to make their lives and relationships better.
Dawn was kidnapped by her mother at four years old from her father who was raising her. Hear the story of how she grew up being told by her mother that her father abandoned her and how she and her father reunited over forty years later. This is just one of many stories of parental alienation that rips families apart.
Michelle Jordan, an expert on Parental Alienation, describes what it is, how to recognize it, and how to respond. She also explains how the courts divide families and contribute to this common problem during divorce and how erased family members suffer life-long pain.
Dysfunctional families also experience this when one parent attempts to turn the kids against the other manipulatively or punitively.
To see the video and resources that she refers to go to ErasingFamily.org. The emotional support text line for families suffering from parental/family alienation is 865-4FAMILY.
To contact Michelle, email her at MichelleY101@icloud.com
When Erin's husband developed crippling Obsessive Compulsive Disorder symptoms shortly after they married, she found herself struggling to survive. After more than ten years, she has turned the things she learned into a book and a support group. Listen to learn the valuable lessons Erin shares on how to deal with a loved one with mental illness in a way that takes care of your mutual needs.
Maria was introduced to oral sex by her father at age five. Hear Maria's story of how she recovered from incest that lasted until she was 21 years old and how she healed enough to be at her father's deathbed.
Kathleen and Elizabeth talk about their marriages to men with Aspergers Syndrome and how to identify whether this is the cause of your difficult marital dynamics. They are the founders of "My Aspie and Me" private Facebook group.
Linda describes her struggles in a marriage filled with gaslighting and deception. Follow her journey from believing she was crazy to knowing her husband wasn't who he said she was.
Laura describes being married to a narcissistic youth pastor who had an affair with the pastor's minor daughter and the spiritual manipulation and gaslighting she endured from the pastor, church leaders, and her husband in her quest to be heard.
Diane Langan shares her journey from being abandoned by her father as a child to making peace with him as an adult. In Diane's case, he didn't just walk out on her, he told her she wasn't his child even as he lavished her siblings with gifts and attention.