ReaLove: Recent Episodes
Michaela
Hey ladies! It’s time to love yourself and free yourself from abuse. Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. I share my story of how I learned to love and respect myself and gained freedom from abuse in the hope that you can do the same. “Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.” - Unknown
Life is hard, and sometimes all we’re doing is surviving it. How do we find get through hard things and then find contentment? That’s the journey we’re on in this series.
In recovering from abuse, choosing the right thing can be hard and sometimes cast you as the villain. Here’s why I this Thanksgiving was hard for me. But things are going get better because you are stronger than you think, and you’re not alone.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Grounding yourself in connection to yourself means offering unconditional acceptance to yourself as a whole human being, not just the parts you “like.” This is vital for survivors of abuse/trauma
Growing into the person you are becoming is a vital part of rebuilding your life. Find your special:)
You are not the problem. But people shamed you into believing you were, and now it’s time to break free!
It’s time to leave behind survival behaviors we developed in toxic environments that won’t help us in the new, healthy relationships we’re building.
It’s ok to not be ok because we’re moving forward in a healthy way and making progress even when it’s hard.
It’s time to let people go who don’t celebrate your growth or honor you boundaries: it’s time to fly.
It feels weird at first to build a life and set boundaries and advocate for yourself. But I believe in you!!!
Slow progress is the best kind, and you’ll be taking practical steps forward to build a life and work on your dream.
The road to recovery from abuse and dysfunctional, toxic family systems is so hard and sometimes lonely, but also 100% worth it.
Sometimes recovery is hard, especially when you’re faced with a history of people who coulda shoulda woulda been there with you and for you. But you’re not alone. And I hope you get up and keep moving forward.
It’s important to communicate what pleases you to your partner. A loving and caring partner will want to learn your pleasure and please you when you’re intimate; but they won’t know what that is unless you tell them.
You are responsibly for learning your own pleasure. To learn what you like and don’t like. To know what will bring you orgasms and what won’t. Today we’re learning how to figure that out.
An orgasm is a explosion of stimulation on nerve endings. We can learn the basics of orgasms and learn our bodies to know how to achieve them. And if you’ve been a victim of sexual assault and orgasmed, it’s not your fault. It was just a natural and response to nerve stimulation. It doesn’t mean you enjoyed it. Sex should always be consensual. Sexual assault is NEVER your fault.
Part of gaining our sexual freedom is taking responsibility for our sexual reproductive health so we can engage in fun and healthy sexual pleasure.
So....that happened. And when we get caught in the pain we’re in this awkward middle place until we learn to heal and move forward.
Come meet me the middle where everything still hurts, it’s a little bit bitter, but we’re still moving forward.
Moving goalposts are meant to break down your self-esteem and establish your dependence on a toxic person...so fluff the house.
Sometimes we need to admit what we want to get to the underlying drives. Like when I’m craving sex in a bubblebath with chocolate and red wine...yeah that’d be nice. But really I can break that down and see that I want acceptance and comfort, the underlying drives.
It’s time to empower yourself, raising your sense of self-esteem, and then to encourage people you encounter.
It’s time to let go of the voices of your past and lay those ghosts to rest. Then, you can finally move forward.
I quit my job today because I stood my ground. And I don’t regret it. You won’t regret finding ways to safely stand your ground in an abusive relationship either.
Have you ever frozen during confrontation like a deer in the Headlights? Well, this encouragement is for you!
When we get stuck, we focus on getting out....but sometimes we can’t yet. This survival skill will help you to thrive in uncomfortable processes.
We build resiliency by not giving up but also finding flexibility in the outlets we need to succeed.
You can be a little petty and use that as tinder to light your dreams and overcome adversity.
My cousin signed me up for a dating app, and I decided after the first five minutes of “swiping” that you have to be a Jellyfish among sharks, and for goodness sakes, get laughs out of it.
Whether you’re falling out of the shower and taking the whole rod down late at night or your dealing with the most ridiculous situations with your abuser and/or their supporters, there is strength in laughing with yourself.
Seasons of grief drag on and on, while joy feels like just a glance. But this season is not forever, and one day you will smile and look back knowing this moment is no longer anything but a memory.
You can feel torn between believing good things should happen when you do the right thing and what you experience. What do you do when hard begets hard instead of better?
In abuse, someone is hell-bent on making you miserable and breaking down your sense of self. We’re going to take it back, love ourselves, and choose happy.
Choose what makes you happy. In abuse, you experience sadness and frustration and fear. It’s time to choose your happy.
Frustration turned in on yourself is so damaging. Abuse is not your fault. It’s time to stop blaming yourself.
Your welcome emotions are like a chain link. In abuse, you suppressed them. But now it’s time to reconnect.
Metamorphosis is messy and it sucks hard. But when you’re recovering from abuse: this is normal. You’re not alone, and we’re walking this journey together.
It’s time to unpack your emotional suitcase. Enduring an abusive relationship is like a trying to take a vacation and instead ending up in your own personal hell. There’s gonna be baggage, but that’s ok. We’re gonna unpack it together. You’re not alone.
It’s time to check in with ourselves and be honest in facing our emotions. In acknowledging the instinct and feelings we’ve buried, we can start to heal.
It’s time to stand up. To stand up for yourself against the abuse and reclaim your life again.
Show yourself kindness. Enjoy this journey and find a balance between building health and enjoying your life.
It’s time to find rest and balance I’m loving yourself. And only you know what that looks like. Do you wanna take a break with me?
Stress and its effects on the body can be monumental. We are learning to love ourselves and alleviate the stress we place on ourselves.
Your abuser is using spiritual abuse to focus your thoughts and adoration on him. We’re gonna take that back.
Your identity belongs to you. We’re covering a few tactics to keep your abuser from undermining your identity and attacking your spiritual connection.
It’s time to untangle those threads and take away the power your abuser had to spiritually abuse you. Your choosing your own path, and you can do that with confidence.
Whatever your spirituality, it is based on connection. Abuse aims to disconnect you. I am going to show you how to keep that connection in the face of spiritual abuse.
Based on who you are and who you desire to be, you can become reacquainted with yourself just in time to dream new dreams.
It’s time to be true to yourself, to love and trust yourself. Relearn to trust your instincts and judgement. You are strong, you are capable; now it’s time to believe it.
If you’ve been in a rut and have a compulsion to people please and “make things right” even if you haven’t done anything wrong, this one’s for you.
We are going to mentally detach from a focus on our abuser and their words and restructuring to focus on what we need and what we want.
It’s time to build yourself up, but that process is going to take some restructuring that honors your strengths and reflects the newfound love and respect you have toward yourself.
We’ve been through the pain, the mourning, the sadness....now it’s time to find beauty in our ashes.
People may have hurt you or failed you or been supportive. But I want to show you what to do with those ashes.
Growing Pains: no one likes the way they feel, but almost everyone likes the results. I share about how I grew through the adversity of abuse and learned to stand up for myself in a balanced way.
You are enough. Refuse to allow the criticism of others to define you. Recognize you are a masterpiece and take time to nurture and love your soul.
Have you ever felt as if others are trying to mold you into their perfect image or shove your passion in a jar. I hope this poem encourages you.
Today, I challenge you to think of what future you would say right now or in those hard times you really want to give up. You can do this!
Some of you have spent your whole lives not feeling good enough and desperate to prove that you are. I’m here to tell you that if you really enjoy it and are passionate, go for it! But if you’re not, STOP. Don’t exhaust yourself to prove anything to anyone. You are good enough just the way you are.
Coming from the treadmill this time, I discuss practical ways to heal and recover from abuse. And ...also I got cut off at the end, so I’m going to continue this one next time :)
You need to grieve the death of things. The death of what you hoped for your relationship. The death of your own personal dreams your abuser crushed. The death of friendships lost to abuse or the leaving process. I’m here to tell you, it’s ok to grieve:
I’m daring you to dream...just a little because I know it can be scary. But I believe in you and believe you can work towards and achieve your dream. Out of abuse we sometimes have to start completely over, and that’s the best time to DREAM.
It’s important to identify what you value, what’s important to you, and start learning to stand your ground. I believe in you. You can do this.
Venting helps, when it’s done well. There are ways to vent that preserve your relationships while also helping you confront and heal.
Sometimes the road is way too long and way too far, but all I’m asking you to do is Get Back Up. I believe in you. You can believe in you, and each time you fall, you CAN get back up!
When things are the worst and everything and everyone is going wrong, that’s when you need to believe in Yourself the most. A choice you need to make every day.
When you feel everything is shaken....you’re second guessing your decisions...and feel everything has fallen apart. You’re still worthy of love and respect and should not live with regret.
Some things people say hurt more than others, especially when you need support the most. Here’s how I worked through my hurt...
You are more capable than you thought possible. But most of us don’t realize it because we’re too scared to dream. We heard and believed too many negative things about ourselves from our abuser. But now, I’m daring you to dream and see what you’re capable of.
You are worthy of love and respect. I was soooo trapped in my abusive relationship but didn’t really know it. Not until I really believed I was worthy of love and respect.
I had a month of desperation when I was went through my live-in separation. It was horrible and challenging, but I found beauty in the pain that I’m sharing with you today.
I know how it feels to realize that something is wrong, but not know where to go from there. To feel powerless and hopeless and yet wish for an answer to all of it. I want you to know you’re not alone.
My nitty-gritty painful road and recovery from abuse. How to rise above the ashes. How to draw beauty from pain.
We’re looking at women who were scandalous in all the best ways and how they can inspire us in our recovery from abuse and journey in learning our own self-worth.
It’s not your fault. Your abuser spends a great deal of time and effort to convince you that their abuse is somehow your fault. That’s not true, and I talk about why.
Part 1 about the faulty belief abusers try to force in their victims, that the abuse is somehow the victim’s fault.
Some of us are feeling terribly discouraged. I’m sharing some tips I have used to battle discouragement, especially as a survivor of domestic abuse.
During this time of quarantine and increased domestic violence, it is more important than ever to build yourself up and find out what you can actually do as you recover from abuse or are currently struggling in an abusive relationship.
This one is for me. This is everything I wish someone else would tell me right now. I hope that it finds you at a time when you need to hear it too.
Some of us make this crazy connection, that if we are alone and feeling lonely, it must mean we aren’t lovable, that there is something wrong with us. That couldn’t be more wrong, and I’ll tell you why...
Self-Regard is accepting, loving, and respecting yourself while being aware of your strengths AND weaknesses. Good self-regard will carry you through life’s challenges.
Because of outside pressures or the expectations of others, we never really get to know ourselves. Well, it’s time to start!
So many of us are afraid to try something new and hate it or make a mistake. But sometimes it’s the best way to find out about yourself.
Most days, you’re making everyone and everything a priority BUT you. Today that changes! You are a priority!
There are so many amazing attributes of your personality for you to discover! And learn to love!
You look in the mirror and see your flaws. But the truth is: all I see is beauty. Learn to treat your reflection with kindness the same way you do your BFF.
Learning to love and respect yourself by building the belief you are worthy of love and respect is the first step to recovery from emotional abuse.