Adoption Wise: Recent Episodes
Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum
We often get questions about whether teachers or other folks who interact with our kids can have blocked care. Or what about siblings? Also, can you have blocked care towards a spouse? Since we weren’t the first ones to name blocked care, we went to the source. We are thrilled to bring you this conversation with Dr. Jonathan Baylin, author of Brain-Based Parenting and other works, and Jessica Sinarski of BraveBrains. Besides digging deeper in the science of caregiving, we also talk about the differences between primary and secondary blocked care and blocked compassion.
Dr. Baylin received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Peabody College of Vanderbilt University in 1981. While continuing his clinical practice, he has immersed himself in the study of neurobiology and in teaching mental health practitioners about the brain. Dr. Baylin has delivered keynote sessions at international conferences and has also given numerous workshops both internationally and regionally within the USA.
Jessica Sinarski is a licensed mental health counselor, educator, and award-winning author. She is also the founder of the resource and training platform BraveBrains. Jessica makes tough topics easier, empowering the healers and the cycle breakers among us. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and three busy boys.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksBrain-Based Parenting: The Neuroscience of Caregiving for Healthy Attachment* by Baylin and Hughes
Connect with Jessica on Instagram
Climbing Out of Chronic Stress (with printable cheat sheet)
FREE Blocked Care Assessment
*this is an affiliate link
Marriage is already hard, but add in parenting children with significant needs and blocked care, and staying married may seem impossible. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa answer two listener questions about marriage and blocked care with personal stories and practical tips. If you’re not married, you’ll still find insights you can apply to your close relationships with folks who love your family.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksFREE Blocked Care Assessment
Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy)
Books by Dr. Sue Johnson*
- this is an affiliate link
We believe that overcoming blocked care is best in community. In this episode, we explore the power of community and compassion in the journey of foster care and adoption. Kayla North generously shares her experiences of blocked care and how support, self-care, and practical strategies can lead to resilience and healing. They also talk about how mom’s found hope through attending Reclaim Compassion book clubs last summer.
Ryan and Kayla North are a dynamic husband-and wife duo who have dedicated their careers to helping adults create environments where children feel safe, welcome, and loved. Through their work, they have become trusted voices for parents, professionals, churches, and educators. They are Co-Founders of One Big Happy Home and the Empowered Parent Podcast.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksConnect with Kayla on Instagram
Free Reclaim Compassion Group Guide
Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son’s mental illness affected her health, and how she’s overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well for all those in her care. She and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for seven years and have three children through adoption.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksConnect with Amber on Instagram
Join Reclaim Compassion
Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn:
- highlights for Family Systems theory
- a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more objectively
- tools to heal and offer hope for those with whom you live and serve
Dr. Andy Stoker (he/him) is married to Megan, and they are parents to two sons, Alex (20) and Wesley (15). Andy is an ordained United Methodist minister, holds a secular PhD in Family Science, and is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher in the Western Buddhist tradition. He currently serves as the Senior Pastor of Central United Methodist Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For over two decades, Andy advocated for justice, fairness, equity, and inclusiveness in the Dallas area in the areas of public education, fair employment, healthcare access, and housing justice. In his free time, he co-hosts a parenting podcast with a psychologist and pediatrician called “Parenting for the Present.”
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksConnect with Andy on Instagram
Parenting for the Present podcast
Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue* by Edwin H. Friedman
Bowen Theory’s Secrets* by Michael Kerr
The Bowen Center on Youtube
A Family Genogram Workbook* by by Israel Galindo, Elaine Boomer, and Don Reagan
*this is an affiliate link
Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions such as sadness, anger, or resentment without judgment is emphasized. Lastly, they mention adapting these practices for children experiencing similar grief and loss.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksReclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Qualls and Corkum
33: Grieving the unexpected losses in adoption
121: An Introduction to Trauma & Tension Release Exercise (TRE) with Christa Bevan
FREE Facebook Group
- this is an affiliate link
Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah’s Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how she sought support and healing.
Rebekah is a stay at home mom and former elementary school teacher who is passionate about loving and serving vulnerable moms in her community. She and her husband, Josh, are parents to 7 kids through birth, adoption and foster care. They are also loving their newest roles as grandparents to two little ones!
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksJonah’s Journey
One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their “relationship bucket” in order to maintain compassionate parenting.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksJoin Reclaim Compassion
Join our free Facebook group
House of Eve*** by Sadeqa Johnson
- this is an affiliate link
This week we answer listener questions such as:
- What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?
- Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder?
- What if things don’t get better?
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksPDA Masterclass
Melissa’s Ted Talk on Redefining Success
The Gap and the Gain Podcast
Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren’t sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD.
Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate New York where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksJustice for Orphans
Sandra’s Blog
Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach
*this is an affiliate link
Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD, or they have a diagnosis but aren’t sure what to do next. In Part 1 of this workshop, you will explore the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. In Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD.
Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate NY where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksJustice for Orphans
Sandra’s Blog
Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach
*this is an affiliate link
Last year’s reflection episode was a listener favorite, so we’re back with another one! With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2023 we thought it would be fun to answer the following questions:
- Describe a moment of clarity in 2023
- Name something that became newly important to you in 2023
- What is one new thing you want to explore in 2024
- What do I have right now that, five years ago, I only dreamed about having?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksCentering Prayer MP3
Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5.
Kinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process.
Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are raising six kids including three who joined their family through kinship care. She is a military veteran and a licensed master social worker in Missouri. She and Brandon are also Cultivate Connection Facilitators.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksBlocked Care 101
Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith*by Qualls and Corkum
Join Reclaim Compassion
Free Blocked Care Assessment
*this is an affiliate link
In this episode Angela Coston, the executive director of For the Sake of One, shares her journey as an adoptive and foster mom. She candidly discusses her experiences and challenges in parenting children with complex needs while being a community leader. Angela explains how being able to name blocked care helped her shed the shame that she was abnormal or a bad parent. She shares practical strategies that helped her overcome blocked care and highlights the importance of setting boundaries and taking time for nervous system care to maintain resilience. Through her personal experiences and growth, Angela offers hope to listeners, emphasizing that while it might get worse before it gets better, it's entirely possible to navigate the challenges of parenting children with complex needs while taking care of yourself and learning to understand blocked care.Click here to download a transcript for this episode.Relevant LinksFor the Sake of One WebsiteFREE Blocked Care AssessmentReclaim Compassion by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkumthis is an affiliate link
Many children with early adversity have an overactive stress response that can create challenging behaviors. In this engaging workshop you will see compelling case studies, visuals, and research about the role of innate neurodevelopmental movements in healthy physical, mental, and social-emotional functioning. You will gain a new perspective about the importance of neurodevelopmental movements and how they can help with anxiety disorders; sensory issues; overwhelm; and fight, flight and freeze states.Sonia Story developed the Brain and Sensory Foundations curriculum to provide comprehensive training in the use of neurodevelopmental movements for addressing sensory, learning, physical, behavioral, emotional, social, and speech challenges. Since 2006, she has been working with children, parents, and professionals in hands-on sessions and training courses. Sonia’s courses are approved for professional continuing education for occupational and physical therapists, mental health counselors, myofunctional therapists, and massage therapists. Her work has been featured in the books, Almost Autism: Recovering Children from Sensory Processing Disorder; Special Ed Mom Survival Guide; Family Health Revolution; and Same Journey, Different Paths, Stories of Auditory Processing Disorder.Click here to download a transcript for this episode.Relevant LinksSonia's websiteConnect with Sonia on InstagramSlides from Sonia's presentationFREE Resources page for Mental Health Professionals and ParentsClick here to join Reclaim Compassion for future workshops
Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion.You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship.In this episode, we identify the ten signs of blocked care and how to overcome them. It is never too late to reclaim compassion for yourself and your kids!Click here to download a transcript for this episode.Relevant LinksOur new Adoption Wise websiteFree Blocked Care assessmentReclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa CorkumJoin our Reclaim Compassion coaching group this is an affiliate linkMusic for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5.
Every adoptee walks through life dealing with the loss of at least their first family, and each one will experience that loss with a different lens. This week, Suzanne Stabile joins Lisa and Melissa for a rich conversation about adoption, the Enneagram, mystery, and curiosity. Suzanne shares vulnerably about how she's dealing with the "adoption-shaped hole" in her life.As an internationally recognized Enneagram Master, Suzanne has conducted over 500 Enneagram workshops over the past 30 years. She's the author of The Road Back to You, The Path Between Us, and The Journey Toward Wholeness. When she is not on the road teaching and lecturing, Suzanne is at home in Dallas, Texas with her husband, Rev. Joseph Stabile, a United Methodist pastor with whom she co-founded Life in the Trinity Ministry and the Micah Center. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of nine.Click here to download a transcript for this episode.Relevant LinksLife in the Trinity MinistryThe Enneagram Journey PodcastAmbiguous Loss by Pauline BossHealing Through the Dark Emotions by Miriam GreenspanThe Girls Who Went Away by Anne Fesslerthis is an affiliate link
Do you have a child who doesn't seem to be fully present? Perhaps it seems they're often daydreaming or in la-la land. This can be especially frustrating if they have trouble focusing at school or completing a task. In this workshop you'll learn:the neurobiology of shutdownhow la-la land is protectivehow to offer safety and connectionRobyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grown-ups in the world who love and care for kids impacted by trauma- helpers, healers, educators, and parents. Her favorite thing ever (besides glittery coffee mugs) is teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience so they can cultivate deep, resonant connections. What would change in the world if we could all do that? To see, be with, feel, and deeply know each other…and ourselves. Robyn thinks everything could change. You can get your hands on all sorts of free resources at www.RobynGobbel.com, including her podcast The Baffling Behavior Show. Robyn’s first book, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work, will hit bookshelves everywhere September 21, 2023.Click here to download a transcript for this episode.Relevant LinksRobyn's websiteConnect with Robyn on InstagramConnect with Robyn on FacebookHow to Change People Pleasing BehaviorFree Webinar from RobynThe Connected Therapist by Marti SmithClick here to download the handout for this workshopThis is an affiliate link
This week we answer listener questions such as:
- How do I prepare for every possible scenario and keep balance in our lives?
- Why does our young adult reject us but show loyalty to practical strangers?
- How do I help my spouse with blocked care?
- How do I provide choices to a child who doesn’t learn from poor ones?
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links# 41: Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 11 most important things you need to know
42: Practically Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 6 most important things you need to do
Join Lisa as she talks with Amy J. Brown about the journey of parenting children with special needs. We talk about the moment she realized her children's challenges were going to change her life and family forever. We talk honestly about guilt and shame as adoptive moms, blocked care, and a practical exercise for moving from guilt to acceptance. Amy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast, Take Heart. She is the author of the book The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the Messy, Emotional, and Joy-Filled Life of a Special Needs Mom. Amy has a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Leadership. She shares honestly about adoption and parenting children with mental health issues and trauma. She is the mother of six children. She lives with her husband in Michigan. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links The Other Side of Special by Amy J. Brown, Sara Clime, Carrie M. Holt Connect on Instagram Join our Reclaim Compassion Coaching Group this is an affiliate link
It's easy to get bogged down in big behaviors and forget to have positive interactions with your kids. TBRI® Nurture Groups provide a positive, attachment-rich environment that is imperative to helping your child increase their sense of felt safety while connecting and learning new skills for life. In this workshop, you will learn:
importance of Nurture Groups six aspects of a Nurture Group how to implement the components into your family
Tristen McGhee is a certified Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) Practitioner, adoptive mom, foster/adoptive parent trainer, as well as a trauma-wise parent coach. She has extensive experience working with vulnerable families to find a path of hope and healing. Her passion for helping families and advocating for children with early childhood trauma backgrounds has led to her current enrollment in a graduate program to receive her Master of Education in Trauma and Neuroscience. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Safe Precious Heard Website Connect with Tristen on Instagram Download workshop handout The Connected Parent by Purvis and Qualls Click here to join Reclaim Compassion for future workshops This is an affiliate link
We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. We couldn’t be happier to share this conversation with Melissa Corkum & Lisa Qualls of The Adoption Connection. We have long respected the work these two remarkable women are doing in the world. They are some of our favorite voices, offering hope and encouragement, to adoptive parents and caregivers. They’ve written numerous books, have a fantastic podcast, offer coaching and speaking, and host a beautiful Facebook community of support. They are doing such good and meaningful work in this space bringing decades of personal and professional experience to the equation. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links This episode first appeared on the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast. Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Join our Reclaim Compassion Coaching Group Join our free Facebook group this is an affiliate link
We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. The authors of Reclaim Compassion and hosts of The Adoption Connection podcast, Melissa Corkum (Enneagram 7) and Lisa C. Qualls (Enneagram 3) join Suzanne Stabile and Joel on the Journey.
Parenting is HARD Working together as a 3 and a 7 and how they related differently to feelings Blocked care What is hand lettering?
Relevant Links Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links This episode first appeared on The Enneagram Journey Podcast. Reclaim Compassion by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Free blocked care assessment this is an affiliate link
We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. Blocked Care is language identified by Jon Baylin & Dan Hughes which describes the experience whereby: Overwhelming stress in a parent’s nervous system can create this subconscious, not on purpose, self-protective mechanism that makes it so that some of the parts of our brain and nervous system that bring us the joy and the compassion into parenting shut down. This can look like parents who are doing a lot of the actions of parenting (i.e., making therapy appointments, packing lunches, driving kids, etc.), but all the reward of parenting– that reciprocal relationship, the enjoyment, the satisfaction– has left, and it leaves parents feeling a sense of apathy towards parenting, which then cycles into guilt and shame. The stress in a parent’s nervous system that causes blocked care is not always, but can often be related to big, baffling behaviors. Melissa and Lisa help parents begin healing their nervous systems by looking at three different aspects of their lives:
We look at their internal world. So what’s happening in their nervous system, what’s happening in their mindset; We look at what’s happening in their external world, their sensory environments; We look at their relational world to safe people, spiritual relationships, etc.
Note: Robyn's podcast is now titled The Baffling Behaviors Show Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links This episode first appeared at https://robyngobbel.com/blockedcare/. Reclaim Compassion* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Free blocked care assessment
Our "What We Learned in 2022" episode got such great feedback that we decided to drop in with a mid-year reflections conversation. We spontaneously answered the questions:
What did you discover in the first half of the year? Share something that's on your mind right now. What is one thing you would like to learn this summer?
These make great journal prompts or conversation starters with a friend. How would you answer them? Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Wanderlog Anchored by Deb Dana * This is an affiliate link
Abandoned at a young age, Stephanie wandered the war-torn countryside of Korea. Due to her bi-racial ethnicity, she was abused and violated in every way. She was adopted around the age of nine by David & Judy Merwin. Her parents surrounded her with “lavish love” and encouragement instead of consequences when she acted out during her childhood. They seemed to understand her behaviors came from a well of deep hurt and shame. A profound personal encounter with Jesus Christ enabled her to exchange her pain with Him at the cross and see her identity and purpose in the light of God’s love.
This message, Stephanie has had the privilege to share with anyone who will listen. God has honored her with very diverse audiences. Over the past 30 years, her story and teaching have been on TV, radio, in magazines and other people’s books. She recently wrote her first book; She Is Mine. She has been an Advocate for Orphans and Adoptees her whole Christian life, believing there is an orphan in each person without Jesus.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksStephanie’s Website
Destiny Ministries
Vacations are fun until they’re not. The anticipation anxiety, change in routine, and potential overstimulation can make enjoyable vacations feel impossible.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- things to consider when planning
- how to set realistic expectations
- tried and true tips for keeping the fun in vacation
Rachel Bell is an adoptive mom and founder Bell Travel Co. (@belltravelco), that specializes in travel for families and also individuals with food allergies and special needs.
Kristen Perso is an adoptive mom and founder of Cherry Blossom Vacations (@cherry_blossom_vacations) which renews families through the gift of vacation
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksJoin Reclaim Compassion for access to the Q&A portion and future workshops
Connect with Rachel and Bell Travel Co. on Instagram
Bell Travel Co Website
Connect with Kristen and Cherry Blossom Vacations on Instagram
Cherry Blossom Vacations Website
This week we answer listener questions such as:
- How do I give “yesses” to an adult child to strengthen connection?
- Is younger child adoption easier than older child adoption?
- Can you explain why my child begs for hugs and then rejects them?
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksThe Connected Parent*** by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa C. Qualls
Join Reclaim Compassion
*This is an affiliate link
Parenting kids who have experienced trauma, loss and separation can be challenging. Finding strategies that heal and actually work provides hope to parents who are struggling, but these strategies can seem strange to others. Our parents, neighbors, friends, and family (maybe even that lady we see at church each week) have opinions, suggestions and perhaps even judgment about our new parenting strategies. This workshop will give us some tools to help our loved ones understand why we parent the way we do.
Beth Smith Feger has over 20 years of experience in training and education. Since completing a Ph.D. in early childhood education in 2009, she has worked training teachers, parents and young people. She is a passionate life long learner and has co-written a text book for early childhood educators. She is currently the Director of Programs at Fostering Hope, an organization the equips and supports families and churches to care for children who have experienced trauma. She is also the mom to three kids, two adopted from foster care. She lives in Austin with her family and enjoys reading, swimming and Marvel movies.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksI Am Fostering Hope
Join Reclaim Compassion
When Kristen Thomas acted out as a child at school, it was a cry for help, but she was instead labeled as a “difficult child.” Eventually placed in foster care, Kristen struggled with shame and being misunderstood by the people who were supposed to protect her. In this episode, she openly shares her story of how she’s breaking the cycle of generational abuse in her family. She also shares the importance and role of community and what she needed from her caregivers.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant LinksConnect with Kristen on Instagram
Free blocked care assessment
This week we answer listener questions such as:
- How do you talk about love from birth parents when there's been extensive abuse?
- How do you address psychosomatic symptoms in your child?
- Is the new book helpful for other caregivers who interact with my child?
Relevant LinksBody work episodes
160: Essential Oils and Mental Health with Dr. Danielle Daniel
Reclaim Compassion
Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion.
You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship. But the good news is you are not a bad parent. You can heal from blocked care, and compassion can be rekindled in your heart.
Written by @onethankfulmom and @melissacorkum_ who have themselves overcome blocked care, the book, Reclaim Compassion, answers the questions, “How did this happen, and will it ever get better?” You’ll recognize yourself in the honest stories from the authors and other parents and come to realize that you’re not at all alone.
Rooted in faith and backed by neuroscience, this practical and powerful guide offers a simple step-by-step process for reclaiming compassion for your child and yourself.
This week, enjoy an audio preview of Chapter 1.
Relevant LinksReclaim Compassion Website
Your attachment style impact ALL relationships in your life - including your relationship with God. Learn how your attachment style impacts your spiritual life, and how to take steps toward increased attachment security with God.
Krispin Mayfield, LPC has a background in full-time ministry and is now practices an attachment base therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy with individuals and couples. He lives in Oregon with his wife D.L. and their two children.
Relevant LinksAttached to God* by Krispin Mayfield
Connect with Krispin on Instagram
Join Reclaim Compassion for access to Q&A
Hannah Strege is the first adopted frozen embryo in the world, adopted through the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption program at Nightlight Christian adoptions. She shares about the importance of adoptees knowing their origin story, how she navigates her open adoption, and how adoption impacts her identity. Hannah is a graduate student at Baylor University working on a Masters of Social Work degree. She hopes to some day open a private practice to counsel adoptees, placing families, and adopting families/couples throughout the lifelong adoption process.
Relevant LinksConnect with Hannah on Instagram
Nightlight Christian Adoptions
A Snowflake Named Hannah* by John Strege
*affiliate link
This week we answer listener questions such as:
- When do you give consequences in your home?
- What do we do when the simple act of setting a boundary is a guarantee of conflict and disrespect?
- How can start facilitating a healthier attachment and decrease separation anxiety?
- What do we do if our son is sneaking out to spend time with his birth family?
Relevant LinksJoin Reclaim Compassion
As Dr. Karyn Purvis famously said, "You cannot lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself." Making sense of our histories is essential to helping our children heal. In today's episode, Lisa reads portions of Chapter 2 of The Connected Parent, the book she co-authored with Dr. Karyn Purvis.
Relevant LinksThe Connected Parent*** by Purvis and Qualls
Join Reclaim Compassion
Food challenges are common for children with early adversity. We often get questions regarding undereating, overeating, picky eating, hoarding, and sneaking.
In this workshop you will:
- Learn relationship-building strategies to address common issues such as picky eating, power struggles, and weight worries.
- Understand the health benefits of felt safety and how it helps children do their best with eating.
Katja Rowell MD is a family doctor, author and childhood feeding specialist who helps parents and caregivers help children to heal their relationship with food and their bodies, and do their best with eating.
Relevant LinksConnect with Dr. Rowell on Instagram
Love Me, Feed Me*by Katja Rowell M.D.
Felt Safety Handout
Get more help at Reclaim Compassion
A lot of children shut down when you try to directly correct behaviors or address fears and past experiences. Story, imagination, and play are great ways to tackle tough issues without starting a control battle with your kids. Join Imagination Specialists and veteran parents, Darren and Margie Fink to learn the four steps of bibliotherapy.
Relevant LinksTransfiguring Adoption
Buy Magical Creatures resources
Join Reclaim Compassion
How can we help our kids navigate their identity, and sit with them in the unknowns of their story or the grief and loss that comes up?
Jenn and Josh Hook offer don't shy away from the hard topics in this fantastic interview. They offer practical ideas for connecting across cultures and supporting your child's unique identity. We also talk about following your child's lead and honoring their grief process as they try to understand their story.
Jenn Ranter Hook, MA, is the Founder and Executive Director of Replanted – a ministry that provides post-placement support to foster & adoptive families through support groups and the Replanted Conference. She previously worked as a trauma therapist for children and adolescents in foster care. She speaks frequently on topics related to adoption and foster care support, mental health, and trauma.
Joshua Hook, PhD, is a Professor of Psychology at the University of North Texas, where he teaches Multicultural Counseling and Positive Psychology. He is also a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in the state of Texas. He blogs about psychology and faith at JoshuaNHook.com.
Josh and Jenn co-authored Replanted: Faith-based support for foster and adoptive families, and Thriving Families: A trauma-informed guidebook for the foster and adoptive journey. They live in Dallas, TX with their daughter.
Relevant LinksThriving Families: A Trauma-Informed Guidebook for the Foster and Adoptive Journey*
Connect with Replanted on Instagram
Connect with Replanted on Facebook
This week we answer listener questions such as:
- What do you do when not everyone in the family wants to foster/adopt anymore?
- What if one of our kids isn't accepting a newly adopted sibling?
- What do you do when a child always wants to pick an option not on the list when given two choices?
- Is anything we're doing making a difference?
With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2022 we thought it would be fun to recap the year. What we learned. When we experienced God's kindness. What we're excited about in 2023.
Relevant LinksThe Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post: A Novel* by Allison Pataki
Start with Hello* by Shannon Martin
Books by Ruth Haley Barton*
Kids are growing up in a world of worry today. Anxiety, in fact, is a childhood epidemic, effecting 1 out of every 4 children. Kids of all ages feel pressure...from the expectations around them, inside of them, and even, unknowingly, from us. What can we do to slow the epidemic for kids, in general? And, even more importantly, what can you do to calm the worry-related meltdowns and help your child find the confidence to fight his or her own brand of Worry Monster?
In this workshop, you’ll gain:
- understanding the what’s and why’s in terms of the differences between anxiety and worry, and where your child is on the continuum
- help practically with tools to overcome the worry that he or she will inevitably face
- hope as your child discovers a sense of resilience that is stronger than any worry this age of
- anxiety can bring
Children need understanding, help, and hope. You can make a profound difference in their their journey to finding all three. You will come out of this seminar feeling not only more confident in your parenting but in your ability to help them discover all of the courage that is already inside of them.
Relevant LinksRaising Boys & Girls WebsiteBooks by David ThomasRaising Boys & Girls PodcastFollow David on Instagram
Listen in as Lisa talks with two single moms about their experiences of becoming adoptive parents. Susan chose international adoption. Britani became an adoptive mom through a kinship care foster placement. They speak candidly about the blessings and challenges of being a single adoptive mom and where they find the support they need.
No one likes to fail. But kids with learning differences feel like they’re failing a lot. They always feel like they’re running to catch up with their same-aged peers. Over time, they’re self-esteem sinks lower and lower. Kids with learning differences are painfully aware of the gap between them and their peers. They may struggle socially as a well as academically.
As parents, it’s hard to watch our kids struggle with shame and low self-esteem. We want them to walk with their heads held high and know they can contribute to the world. Keep these tips in mind when parenting your child with learning differences.
This week we answer listener questions about surviving the holidays: How do I balance the kids' need for downtime with the anxiety that comes with unscheduled time? How do you avoid dysregulation over gifts? Do you have ideas for festive foods that aren't full of sugar? Any tips on being present, feeling joy, and not resenting what's coming?
Do you feel isolated or alone in your parenting journey? Do you have trouble connecting with other parents because they don't seem to understand your life? We're celebrating our 200th episode with some friends from The Village, our monthly membership community. They share why they joined and why they stay. They share diversity in how they came to adoption (including kinship) and in their experiences (a dad, a single mom, etc.), but they all agree that there's power in community. They also share some sweet words of encouragement as we close, so make sure to listen to the end!
Dealing with frequent and intense meltdowns in preschool and school-aged children can be exhausting! Sometimes they are due to sensory processing challenges. The human brain processes 11 million bits of information every second, which comes in through our eight (not five) senses. Neurodivergence and trauma can bias the brain toward quick, defensive reactions to all that sensory input. This often leads to frustrating behaviors and learning disruptions. This workshop will provide some eye-opening sensory basics in a child-friendly format along with practical takeaways that can be integrated into your busy day.
When your adoption journey is different than what you expected, there are a lot of ambiguous losses to grieve. Every parent will process and experience grief individually and on their own timeline. This week, Lisa shares five ways to hold onto your marriage, even if grief seems to be tearing you apart.
Every adoptee experiences their story through a unique lens. This week, we welcome adoptee, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston, who hosts the podcast series Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland.
This week we answer listener questions such as: How can I be compassionate towards my child's behaviors without letting them fall into victimhood? Is my bar too low? Will my transracially adopted child feel more isolated if he's the only person of color in our family? What are the pros and cons of Job Corps for older teens?
Patrick and Melissa have two kids by birth, four through adoption, and a live-in granddaughter. They’ve weathered adopting out of birth order, child on parent violence, out-of-home placement, PTSD, and becoming grandparents in their thirties. In this episode, they’ll talk candidly about the secret to maintaining a strong marriage when parenting (and life) is hard.
No parent enjoys a tantrum. Kids don’t either. It never feels good to have such big feelings that they come out in crying, yelling, kicking, stomping, throwing, or whatever else makes up a meltdown for your child. Over the years, we’ve gathered a bag of tricks. It’s important to have many options up your sleeve because there’s a good chance something will only work once in a while and never twice in a row.
Saying "yes" to fostering kids often stretches us in ways we never imagined. Jillana Goble is an author, advocate, non-profit founder, and—with her husband, Luke—parent of five children ranging in to age from pre-teen to adult. With honesty, faith and a dose of humor, her debut memoir, A Love-Stretched Life, chronicles what she’s continually learning on the suspension bridge. This week, Jillana joins Lisa to talk about grief, unexpected twists, and blessings during her journey.
This week we answer listener questions such as: What do you do on days you don’t want to be around your children because you're not in a good place yourself? How do I handle my child withholding hugs from me when they hug everybody else? *When do you call the police when your teen runs away?
We hate it when our kids lie to us; it’s annoying, frustrating and scary. In this workshop replay, you will discover insights from the scriptures and brain science to help you respond well to this challenging behavior. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Email Karen at karen@aceadvocacy.net
Parenting After Trauma Podcast with Robyn Gobbel Let's Talk about Lying (ETC Podcast Episode) Cindy Lee YouTube video on lying Anchored: A Bible Study on Self-Worth by Cindy Lee Parenting from the Inside Out by Dan Siegel Join The Village for future workshops (use code: podcast) *This is an affiliate link
We hate it when our kids lie to us; it’s annoying, frustrating and scary. In this workshop replay, you will discover insights from the scriptures and brain science to help you respond well to this challenging behavior. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Email Karen at karen@aceadvocacy.net
Parenting After Trauma Podcast with Robyn Gobbel Let's Talk about Lying (ETC Podcast Episode) Cindy Lee YouTube video on lying Anchored: A Bible Study on Self-Worth by Cindy Lee Parenting from the Inside Out by Dan Siegel Join The Village for future workshops (use code: podcast) *This is an affiliate link
Is your experience of parenting children with early trauma turning out the way you expected? Or is it vastly different from what you imagined? If you are experiencing a gap between what you imagined and your reality and feeling discouraged, you are not alone. In this episode, Lisa shares seven things to help you keep your hope alive. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Join the Village (use code podcast)
Is your experience of parenting children with early trauma turning out the way you expected? Or is it vastly different from what you imagined? If you are experiencing a gap between what you imagined and your reality and feeling discouraged, you are not alone. In this episode, Lisa shares seven things to help you keep your hope alive. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Join the Village (use code podcast)
Most of know about adoption through foster care or private, infant adoption. But what do you know about embryo adoption? Rachel and her husband, Evan, have four children who all joined their family through adoption. Their youngest son joined their family through embryo adoption. Rachel has worked in adoption support, directing family camps, retreats for foster and adoptive moms, and other support and training events for the last 10 years but she has recently opened a travel agency, Bell Travel Co., that specializes in travel for families and also individuals with food allergies and special needs. Rachel and her family live in Conway, Arkansas. During this episode, we talk about the embryo adoption process as well as what it's like to have an open adoption with their son's genetic family. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Bell Travel Co.
Most of know about adoption through foster care or private, infant adoption. But what do you know about embryo adoption? Rachel and her husband, Evan, have four children who all joined their family through adoption. Their youngest son joined their family through embryo adoption. Rachel has worked in adoption support, directing family camps, retreats for foster and adoptive moms, and other support and training events for the last 10 years but she has recently opened a travel agency, Bell Travel Co., that specializes in travel for families and also individuals with food allergies and special needs. Rachel and her family live in Conway, Arkansas. During this episode, we talk about the embryo adoption process as well as what it's like to have an open adoption with their son's genetic family. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Bell Travel Co.
This week we answer listener questions such as:
How do you help kids handle sudden changes to routine? How do we hold our son responsible for destruction of property? How can we help our kids process grief when a loved one dies?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Tear Soup book The Invisible String book Join The Village (use code podcast) *This is an affiliate link
Students impacted by trauma, early adversity, and chronic stress often struggle in classroom and education environments. Many adopted children qualify for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 Plan, but it can be tricky to find the accommodations that will help your child be successful. In this episode, you will learn:
How to know when your child needs an IEP or 504. Which accommodations are best. How to advocate for your child and navigate meetings effectively.
Adoptive mom and SEAT-trained education advocate, Karen Yingling brings a wealth of experience to her role as a parent advocate. Her background includes facilitating the partnering process of multi million dollar public construction projects to bring together teams members towards a cohesive and shared objective of successful project delivery. She spent three years on the administration management team of a K-12 school working with parents and staff and training staff on trauma informed school practices. She has specialty training in parenting children with a trauma history. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Email Karen at karen@aceadvocacy.net
182: [workshop] Speech & Language Development After Trauma with Cara Mohundro
101: Creating Adoption-Sensitive Classrooms with Joelle Broberg
Trauma Sensitive Schools Join The Village for future workshops (use code: podcast)
We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. Have you ever wondered why you think the way you think about life or parenting, or react the way you react to certain situations (say, your child's behavior, for example)? Often times, we can feel shame over our reactions, or emotions as caregivers. But what if we could find clear answers to our functionality? Enter the Enneagram! You may know that the Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. But did you know that the Enneagram can greatly benefit us as caregivers because it gives us unique insight into our personality types and how we interact with the world around us. Click here to download a transcript of this episode.
Relevant Links This episode first appeared at https://honestlyadoption.com/how-the-enneagram-can-help-us-become-better-parents/ Join the Village (use code podcast)
We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. Last summer, Lisa sat down with Chris, Kayla, and Ryan of the Empowered Parent Podcast to talk about her book, The Connected Parent. They talk about the writing process with Dr. Karyn Purvis and how this book complements The Connected Child. Click here to download a transcript of this episode.
Relevant Links This episode first appeared at https://empoweredparent.net/podcast/. Empowered Parent Podcast The Connected Parent book Join the Village (use code podcast) (includes The Hope Circle) This is an affiliate link
We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. This week, we're replaying a conversation Melissa had with Nick and Whitney Runyon of The Archibald Project. They talk about how every adoptee experiences their story differently and what happens when your child needs a higher level of care than you can provide. Click here to download a transcript of this episode.
Relevant Links This episode first appeared at https://thearchibaldproject.com/podcast/redefining-success-in-adoptive-parenting-with-melissa-corkum/. Join the Village (use the code: podcast)
We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. This week, we're replaying a conversation Lisa had with Jamie Finn (@realmompodcast and @fosterthefamilyblog) about fostering a teen, jumping from 7 to 11 children, when adoption gets hard, residential treatment centers, and what it looks like to engage with God through it all. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links This episode first appeared at http://www.fosterthefamilyblog.com/episodes/s2-episode1-lisaqualls. Join the Village (use code podcast)
Because trauma, early adversity, and chronic stress impact a child's ability to learn vicariously, many children struggle with issues related to speech and language development. If a child can't understand language or express their needs, they may have trouble making friends, following directions, or getting needs met without using behaviors. In this episode, Cara Mohundro, MA, CCC-SLP, teaches us practical ways we can encourage language development while still staying connected to our kids. Cara is a mom to four children by birth and adoption and lives and works in Memphis, TN. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Memphis Family Connection Center Speech and Language Milestones by Age
We value lived experience, so when we heard about Kitty's story, we knew we needed to invite her voice to the podcast. She represents all three sides of the adoption triad. Kitty was adopted as an infant, made an adoption plan for her son, and has one child by adoption. Her story tells of the complexities of reunification, the tricky feelings in adoption, and God's redemption through it all. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Kitty on Facebook
The worst feeling in the world is feeling powerless against our kids’ challenging behaviors. In an effort to regain control, we often threaten, yell, and assign ineffective consequences. This week, Melissa talks about the top five mistakes parents make when using consequences. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Join The Village (use code: podcast)
This week we answer listener questions such as:
Do the behaviors only happening at home stem from an attachment issue? When will our teen daughter show signs of accepting us as parents? Why does our child lash out at us? How do you pray for your children? What are key scriptures you stand on?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links The Compassion Challenge Join The Village
Early trauma and childhood adversity cause changes in the brain. Kids with neurodivergent brains often display challenging behaviors which look a lot like ADHD. So how can we tell the difference? Kay Heikes, LSCSW, specializes in infant and early childhood mental health. She is a Trust-based Relational Intervention Practitioner® and commits her time to help support families learn how to help everyone feel safe, seen, heard and valued. During this workshop Kay enumerates the similarities and differences between ADHD and trauma, gives treatment options for ADHD, and addresses how to help your child with lagging executive functioning and social skills. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Kay's Website Join The Village (use code podcast) Private Coaching with Greg TBRI Animate: Toxic Stress and the Brain on YouTube
87: The Impact of Prenatal Trauma on Children with Stacey Gagnon
Join The Village for future workshops (use code: podcast)
Even if you have a large family or a very busy life, finding time to connect with our kids and build strong attachment is imperative. Lisa shares simple tips for building attachment and connection that you can fit into your already full life. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Join the Village (use code podcast)
This week we answer listener questions such as:
Should we adopt again if one of our kids is opposed? How do I know if my teen needs residential treatment? How should I respond to unreasonable fears? How can I help my toddler who struggles on car rides?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Sibling Webinar Safety Plan Webinar The Envoy Group Join The Village
Jennifer has a unique perspective because of the opportunity she’s had to walk through the adoption journey as a birthmother and also as an adoptive mother. Faced with an unplanned pregnancy in college, Jennifer chose to place her son for adoption. After marrying her husband, Rusty in 2005, God led them through infertility to reveal His plan for them to grow their family through adoption. Through the very same agency that Jennifer placed her son, they were given the chance to become parents to two more sons. "As parents of adopted children, we have the sometimes difficult job of teaching them to embrace their stories. No matter what hard places they come from, those roots and their birth family are a piece of their identity that we must love and honor. By doing that, we give our children the confidence to love themselves because of the honor and love that we show.” As an adoptive mom, Jennifer has been given the opportunity to use the rejection and loss that she feels as a birthmother, to help her sons celebrate the life that they have been given and understand the love of their birthmothers. As you hear Jennifer’s story and begin to see through the eyes and heart of a birthmother, may it help you more clearly identify ways to love your child by honoring the one who chose life for them. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Jennifer on Instagram Connect with Jennifer on IG Email Jennifer at jhiltebeitel@outlook.com
The emotional response to Mother's Day can be complicated, even more so for adoptive and foster moms. This week, we want you to feel seen and encouraged. We have some special messages from moms in our community to boost your spirits. Bring your tissue box. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Many Christian parents worry that trust-based parenting is too lenient or permissive. After all, the book of Proverbs tells us “Spare the Rod, spoil the child.” Is it possible that trust-based principles can be found in the scriptures and that the strategies were used by Jesus? During this workshop, Greg Lombard Rea teaches us:
That trust-based parenting is about transformation, not about behavior management. How Jesus showed compassion and nurtured attachment. Jesus' correcting strategies.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Private Coaching with Greg TBRI Animate: Toxic Stress and the Brain on YouTube
87: The Impact of Prenatal Trauma on Children with Stacey Gagnon
Join The Village for future workshops (use code: podcast)
A lot of parents ask us, “How do I stay calm?” We want to share the brain-science behind the problem with staying calm when your child is losing their mind. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel
26: What To Do When Your Child is Out of Control with Robyn Gobbel
Join The Village and use code 'podcast
As an adoptee, Jennifer Hiltebeitel, was excited to adopt and be the mom she wished she would have had growing up. It turns out that her experience as an adoptee did not provide her with all the tools she needed to be an adoptive parent. Jennifer also candidly shares about her childhood and the impact reunifying with her birth family had on her identity. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Jennifer on IG Email Jennifer at jhiltebeitel@outlook.com The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile This is an affiliate link
This week we answer listener questions such as:
What if birth family visits confuse or trigger my kids? How do I help my kids process their feelings about not having photos from early childhood? What do I do when my child is aggressive towards my wife? It makes me angry!
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Cindy Lee on Transitions Join The Village Ask a question in our Facebook group
Have you ever felt like your adoption journey shipwrecked your life? How do you find hope when you can hold your head above water? This week, Lisa shares how God carried her family safely to shore. He gave them a new lens through which to view their kids and a whole new way of parenting. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Lisa's blog The Connected Parent by Lisa Qualls and Dr. Karyn Purvis This is an affiliate link
Children with a history of early adversity have a higher probability of becoming dependent on substances. In this episode, we hear from adoptee and substance abuse specialist, Jamie Engel, on ways to reduce your child's risk, how to respond to your child if they struggle with addiction, and how to find appropriate treatment. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Circle City Sober Living Relinquishment and Addiction by David Bohl and Jamie Marich Advocacy for Connected Education (Educational Consultant) This is an affiliate link
Behind all the challenging behaviors, each child just wants to belong. This week, former foster youth and NFL player, Gaelin Elmore, shares what he was looking from adults in his life, how to create belonging for our kids, and how folks in the community can make a lasting impact. Gaelin is a professional speaker and facilitator and lives in Minnesota with his wife and daughter. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Gaelin's Webiste Connect with Gaelin on Facebook Connect with Gaelin on Instagram Connect with Gaelin on LinkedIn
This week we answer listener questions such as:
Any suggestions for using TBRI with a non-verbal child? How do you handle it when kids avoid responsibility or chores? Why can’t my child learn that if he hides his destruction from us we will be more upset than if he admits to it?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
161: [workshop] A New Twist on Chores with Greg Rea
Join The Village Ask a question in our Facebook group
Puberty in children who have undergone trauma looks different, but it doesn't have to be alarming. This week, Dr. Melody Aguayo, adoptive mom and founder of Real Child Consulting, helps us understand:
What happens in the body and brain of kids going through puberty. Identify "normal sexual acting " out versus "deviant behaviors." Practical tools to navigate this difficult season.
She is both TBRI trained and Circle of Security trained and has a passion for helping hurting families and children turn their pain into purpose. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Real Child Consulting Sheri Rego - Working with Children Who Display Sexual Behavioral Problems The Healthy Bodies Toolkit for Boys The Healthy Bodies Toolkit for Girls Join The Village (use code: podcast)
Adoptive and foster families often find themselves barely functioning and just trying to survive when caring for children with hard behaviors. For a lot of families, trauma has left a trail of devastation not unlike Nehemiah found when he returned to Jerusalem. But just like the temple was rebuilt, we can rebuild our hearts and our families. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents This is an affiliate link
This week we answer listener questions such as:
How does time in work when I need to separate two children? Are martial arts lessons a good idea or will they make my child more aggressive? How do you respond to people who make judgements towards you or your parenting?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Join The Village Ask a question in our Facebook group
There are great rewards that come along with being a foster parent, yet there are also great challenges that can leave you feeling depleted, alone, and discouraged. With the compassion and insight of a fellow foster parent, Jamie Finn helps you see your struggles through the lens of the gospel, bringing biblical truths to bear on your unique everyday realities. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Foster the Family by Jamie Finn Connect with Jamie on Instagram Faith, Hope, & Connection Devotional *This is an affiliate link
Chores? Yuck! Most of us view chores as unpleasant but necessary tasks. But what if CHORES could be a great way to deepen our connection with our children and teens? What if CHORES could build trust and increase our children’s sense of belonging to the family? Join Greg Lombard Rea as he expands our view of chores to CHORES - CHildren Offered Relational ExperienceS. Greg is an adoptive and bio Dad, TBRI Practitioner and Post-Adoption Support Specialist. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Michaeleen Doucleff How To Get Your Kids To Do Chores (Without Resenting It) The Village (use code: podcast)
One of the things we love most about you, our community, is that you're so dedicated to and persistant when it comes to finding things that will help our kids and their nervous systems. One tool we have in our family's tool belt is essential oils. We know there are a lot of mixes messages and opinions about essential oils, so we wanted to bring you an expert that could use brain science, my favorite to help us out. Dr. Danielle Daniel is a Doctor of Psychology and Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a holistic approach to the brain. She trains hospitals, clinics and therapists around the world on the field of Psychoaromcology and the application of Psychoaromatherapy. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Dr. Danielle on Instagram Buy the essential oils Dr. Daniel recommends Join The Village (use code: podcast) The Regulation Rescue
Many families feel isolated while parenting children through adoption. Either they don't feel understood by friends and family or they just don't have time for community like they used to. Shannan Martin, is an adoptive mom and the author who found her voice in the country and her story in the city. This week she speaks about how she found community in unexpected places and now practices radical hospitality. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Shannan on Instagram The Ministry of Ordinary Places by Shannan Martin Falling Free: Rescued from the Life I Always Wanted by Shannan Martin Join the Village (use code: podcast) *This is an affiliate link
This week we answer listener questions such as:
How do I address my child's affection with strangers? Is it attachment related? How do I create healthy boundaries with birth grandparents? How would you handle technology with a teen foster placement? What if my adopted kids think we treat them differently?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links TBRI Practitioner List DDP Practitioner List The Village Regulation Rescue Ask a question in our Facebook group
Greg recently facilitated a conversation in our dads-only group about how to support our kids through the holidays. They talked about favorite traditions, navigating visitation with birth family, and more and gave us permission to share their conversation with you. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links The Village
13: Survive the Holidays While Keeping the Joy
65: Heartwarming Holiday Stories for Adoptive Families
What is kinship care? How is it the same and different from foster care? In today's episode, Michelle Thompson, founder of Bithiah's Family Services, talks about the unique experience of kinship care, what families need, and how we can best support them. Michelle is a credentialed teacher, author, and Co-Founder of Bithiah's Family Services. Specializing in supporting teachers to create empathetic, graced-based classrooms , Michelle trains educators across districts to educate students through a trauma informed lens. Michelle and her husband started Bithiah's as a residential treatment facility providing services to children in the foster care system and continue to expand the services and support it provides to vulnerable children and those that provide care to them. She is a Southern California native and mom to 5 through birth and adoption. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Bithiah's Family Services on Instagram Bithiah's Family Services on Facebook Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents The Village
Sandeep faced horrible tragedy and trauma as a young child in India. However, in the providence of God he was adopted by a loving couple in the U.S at age six which dramatically changed the course of his life. He co-founded Unfolding Adoptees which provides Christian adult adoptees with an honest community in which they tell their stories to share encouragement and insight that is grounded in Biblical truth and Christlike love. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Unfolding Adoptees Website Unfolding Adoptees on Facebook Unfolding Adoptees on Instagram
Last month in The Village, we hosted "Ask Lisa Anything About Being an Birth Mom." Listen in as we chatted about how to navigate birth parent relationships with our kids. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Last month in The Village, we hosted "Ask Melissa Anything About Being an Adoptee." Listen in to the conversation as she answers questions about privacy, raging as a child, and more. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Squid Game on Netflix
109: Adoptee Reflections with Shelby and Veronica
Do All Adoptees Think the Same? YouTube Video What Happened to You? by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey This is an affiliate link
When Zoe's parents found out she was pregnant, she was hidden away in a home for unwed mother's. In this week's episode, Dr. Zoe Shaw vulnerably shares her experience as a pregnant teen. She gracefully shares shocking truths about how she was deceived and manipulated. Unfortunately, her story is not unusual. You'll want to grab a tissue for this conversation. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Dr. Zoe's website Connect with Dr. Zoe on Instagram A Year of Self-Care by Dr. Zoe Shaw The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler *This is an affiliate link
As adoptive parents ourselves, we're always looking for tools and therapies that may help our children heal. This week Lisa sat down with therapist and author, Brooke Randolph, to talk about Brainspotting. This gentle, therapeutic technique can help children process and heal from trauma even if they are unable to speak about it. It can also help parents process the stress of parenting children with high needs. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Brooke's website Connect with Brooke on Facebook Connect with Brooke on Instagram Connect with Brooke on Twitter Brainspotting with Children and Adolescents by Monika Baumann Video: Self-spotting with Brain Spotting Vide: “Vergence” Brainspotting technique This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: What do I do if I don't like my child? I never thought I would feel this way. Can you help? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880 Relevant Links Take the free Compassion Challenge Brain-based Parenting by Daniel Hughes and Jonathan Baylin Building the Bonds of Attachment by Daniel Hughes *This is an affiliate link
It's a myth that all "behavioral therapy" is inappropriate for child with early adversity. Carol Lozier, LCSW joins us this week to talk about how DBT-C can be used alongside connected parenting to help our kids fill gaps in the regulation skills. Carol Lozier MSW LCSW is a psychotherapist and author of four books. She is a clinical social worker in private practice in Louisville, Kentucky. Ms. Lozier has spent over thirty years counseling children, teens and adults in the issues of trauma, and adoption and foster care. Carol is intensively trained in DBT. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Carol's Website Connect with Carol on Facebook Connect with Carol on Instagram Books by Carol Find DBT Provider Blocked Care Coaching Group This is an affiliate link
Sara Odicio was adopted from an orphanage in China when she was a year old. As a Licensed Social Worker, she loves supporting adopted teens and their families. Her passion for teen adoptees grew even more as she was personally challenged to engage with her own adoption story in a deeper way. In this episode, she's vulnerable about her teen years and her ongoing struggles as an adoptee. She tells her story with lots of insight and hope for adoptive families. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Sara on Instagram Listen to episodes on bodywork
Trent traveled a horrific journey through the foster care system until he was adopted at the age of 9. After healing from his traumatic past, Trent, who is now 20, shares his inspiring story of triumph in order to provide hope and healing for others. He is involved in foster care reform at the national level. He also serves as Co-Founder and CEO for “Watch Me Rise” which is a ministry devoted to working on behalf of children who have experienced trauma like he once did. Trent is currently completing his undergraduate degree in family and human development at Arizona State University and plans to pursue a masters in clinical counseling. On the day we met him he had just completed training to become a TBRI practitioner. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Watch Me Rise Website Connect with Trent on Facebook Shattered No More: An Inspiring Story of one Boy's Journey from Trauma to Triumph by Trent Taylor Battling The Invisible Enemy: A Guide for Children and Teens to Resist the Magnetic Pull of Technology and Pornography by Trent Taylor Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents This is an affiliate link
Greg Lombard Rea, M.Div, is an adoptive and bio dad, former pastor, Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Practitioner, and a Post Adoption Support Specialist. Greg has been providing post-adoption support for families for a number of years. He recently joined us at The Adoption Connection and facilitates a group for dads in our membership community, the Village. We think you'll find his story inspiring and hopeful. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Greg Empowered to Connect Podcast Empowered Parent Podcast Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Join The Village (Dads can use code DAD to get 50% off their first month)
We love bringing you lots of options for resources that might help make life better or easier. This week, we're talking to Olga Ward about NeurOptimal neurofeedback, a system that is simple enough to be used at home. Olga is an adoptive mom and owner of Beaverton Neurofeedback in Oregon where she has a passion for restoring and creating harmony in families. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Beaverton Neurofeedback Connect with Olga on Facebook Connect with Olga on Instagram The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do I find a skilled babysitter for my challenging kids? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880 Relevant Links Animate videos from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at TCU Join our conversation in our private FB group Teen Support Group
What if you could build connections with your child and strengthen their brain at the same time? And what if you could both have fun doing it? In this episode, Ann Maura Hinton talks about brain games and why they're great tools for our families. We also talk about preparing for a new school year and setting your family up for success. Ann Maura is an educational specialist with Lifeline Children's Services. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Bridge Educational Services Equipping Minds Curriculum Blink Game Teen Support Group This is an affiliate link
As we start this school year, we want to encourage you with these reflections courtesy of the Enneagram. The Enneagram is our favorite tool for understanding ourselves and the people we love. It gives us insight for how we can become the best version of ourselves and better parents. We recognize that the Enneagram is complex, and the way we've represented each number in this episode is not complete. We'd love to hear from you if these resonated, or if you'd add anything from your perspective. Join the conversation in our FB community at www.theadoptionconnection.com/facebook. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links The Village (where you can join us for regulation conversations about the Enneagram and adoption)
Middle school can be an awkward and tumultuous season for our kids. Deep down they want connection, but their behaviors may push parents away. Nabil Zerizef is an adoptive father, author, and middle school principal. He shares insights on how we can connect with our middle schooler. We also talk about A Kids Book About Adoption which he co-authored with a former student, Leul Gurske. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Nabil on Instagram A Kid's Book About Adoption by Nabil Zerizef and Leul Gurske Brainstorm by Dan Siegel Past episodes on Felt Safety This is an affiliate link
You're trying to get your child out the door for school and he has a meltdown. What do you do now? Do you push harder? Do you back off? In this episode, Jessica Sinarski teaches us about P.A.C.E. and how to use Playfulness, Acceptance Curiosity, and Empathy to help get your child's upstairs (thinking) brain back online. This is a practical and helpful conversation. We also talk about her brand new book, Riley the Brave Makes it to School. It's a fantastic story for kids and adults about how to tackle the morning challenges that can make mornings challenging for many families. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Brave Brains Website Connect with Jessica on Instagram Connect with Jessica on Facebook Connect with Jessica on Twitter Riley the Brave Makes It to School: A Story With Tips and Tricks for Tough Transitions by Jessica Sinarski Riley the Brave: The Little Cub with Big Feelings by Jessica Sinarski
107: Helping Children Understand Their Big Feelings with author, Jessica Sinarski
66: Can Neurofeedback Help Your Adopted Child? (with Sarah Jordan)
Overcoming Blocked Care for Dads: An Interactive Workshop The Village *This is an affiliate link
Clutter in our lives can exacerbate behaviors related to ADHD, trauma, and sensory processing disorder. The start of the school year brings extra stuff to manage including lunches, school forms, sports equipment, etc. Wendy Zanders, aka Your Declutter Coach, is a Professional Organizer who had undiagnosed ADD as a child and now helps special needs families get organized by helping them identify what has created the disorder in their lives, and by helping them create systems so they can get back in control of their possessions and homes. Listen in as Wendy encourages you while bringing you simple tips you can use right now to decrease the clutter in your life. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Wendy on Facebook Connect with Wendy on Instagram Wendy's YouTube Channel Overcoming Blocked Care for Dads Workshop
The podcast is on summer vacation for the month of July. We invite you to join us in our free Facebook community and to scroll back to past episodes you may have missed. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Top 5 Most Popular Episodes
87: The Impact of Prenatal Trauma on Children with Stacey Gagnon
61: A Transracial Adoptee’s Thoughts on Growing Up Black in a White Family
40: Parenting Kids with FASDs and Invisible Disabilities Successfully with Eileen Devine
94: Resetting the Nervous System for Felt Safety
88: The Connected Parent by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls
Dad Connection: Join us this month as we hear from foster and adoptive dads. Ryan and his wife Kayla have 6 children. They spent 10 years as foster parents and learned many of the things they share with families, churches, and schools just being a family. He is the co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma and its impacts. Listen in as Ryan shares about how God brought them to adoption and his journey from traditional parenting to connected parenting. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links One Big Happy Home Website Connect with Ryan on Facebook Connect with Ryan on Instagram Dad's Mentoring Group The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis The Connected Parent by Lisa Qualls and Karyn Purvis How Children Raise Parents* by Dan Allender
87: The Impact of Prenatal Trauma on Children with Stacey Gagnon
*This is an affiliate link
Dad Connection: Join us this month as we hear from foster and adoptive dads. For the past twenty years, Peter Mutabazi has worked for several global nonprofits as well as local charity organizations that promote wellness and development of children. He is a surviving street kid, foster dad, single father, entrepreneur, and founder of Now I Am Known, a grassroots coalition focused on adoption and foster care. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Peter on IG Connect with Peter on FB Connect with Peter on YouTube Know I Am Known Website
Dad Connection: Join us this month as we hear from foster and adoptive dads. Jason is a writer and speaker who encourages families and equips churches in their foster care and adoption journeys. He and his wife, Emily live in Texas with their daughters. Listen in as Jason shares how he overcame his fears of fostering and adopting and encouragement for dads on the journey. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Jason's blog Connect with Jason on Instagram Connect with Jason on Facebook Reframing Foster Care by Jason Johnson Everyone Can Do Something by Jason Johnson ALL IN Orphan Care by Jason Johnson Faith, Hope & Connection Devotional This is an affiliate link.
Dad Connection: Join us this month as we hear from foster and adoptive dads. Aaron Ivey is the Pastor of Worship at The Austin Stone Community Church in Austin, Texas, where he pastors a team of worship leaders, artists, storytellers, and musicians. He and his wife Jamie have four children, Cayden, Amos, Deacon, and Story. In this conversation, Aaron shares about their journey to adoption, being a white parent to black teens, and gives encouraging advice for all dads. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Aaron on Instagram Complement by Aaron and Jamie Ivey The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey Podcast This is an affiliate link.
Dad Connection: Join us this month as we hear from foster and adoptive dads. Many of you are familiar with Jamie Finn of Foster the Family whose ministry reaches thousands of foster and adoptive parents. Jamie would be the first to say her ministry wouldn't be possible without the support of her husband, Alan. In this episode, Alan shares the story of how they became foster parents, how their lives have been changed, and words of wisdom for other foster and adoptive dads. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Foster the Family on Instagram Faith, Hope & Connection Devotional
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do I respond to my child who wants to be babied? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880 Relevant Links The Compassion Challenge
Tori Hope Petersen is a former foster youth. After overcoming the odds of foster care, she is now a foster care advocate and foster mom who shares candidly about her story and her experience of redemption. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Tori's website Connect with Tori on Instagram Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning Overcoming Blocked Care Workshop This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do we handle multiple children with differing levels of openness with birth family? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880 Relevant Links Five Love Languages Blocked Care Workshop
For over a decade, Ashley has been one of the most consistent and sought after birth mother voices in the nation. Well known for her vulnerability and transparency in adoption, her story has touched the hearts of countless members of the adoption community and beyond. She is owner of Big Tough Girl and Founder + Executive Director of Lifetime Healing Foundation which champions increased care, understanding, and resources for birth mothers. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Lifetime Healing Foundation Connect with Ashley on Instagram The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler This is an affiliate link
Ed Di Gangi was adopted at birth in New York City. An only child, he made no effort to explore his heredity until, at age 67, a visit to a cemetery where members of his adoptive mother's family were buried and a story by Daniel Mendelsohn stirred his interest. Over the past three years, through extensive archival research and DNA testing, Ed has peeled back the layers of his once unknown family. It turned out his birth mother was not who he thought she was at all. You don't want to miss this remarkable story. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Ed's Website The Gift Best Given: A Memoir by Ed Di Gangi Connect with Ed on Instagram Watch Ed's Birth Mom Ice Skate The Lost by Daniel Mendelsohn *This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do we help extended family have respect and compassion for our foster child's birth family? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880 Relevant Link Register for the Insight Conference
If you're heard the acronym EMDR and wondered what it's all about, you're going to love this episode. Lisa interviewed Laura Taylor who is an EMDRIA Certified Therapist. We talk about what EMDR is, how it works, and who it can help. Laura finds EMDR therapy to be very helpful for clients with attachment wounds as well as many other types of traumatic issues and distressing life experiences. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk EMDRIA website (top right has a tab Find An EMDR Therapist) Past episodes on Equine Therapy Past episodes featuring bodywork therapies This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How should I respond when my child says, "You're not my real mom!" Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880
CONTENT DISCLOSURE: Melissa and Jack talk about some mature topics during this interview. It may not be suitable for younger ears. At the end of this episode, your mind will be racing with endless ways you can start incorporating gaming into your family. Jack Berkenstock, Jr., MHS is a master's level therapist passionate about the benefits of tabletop gaming for development and growth in essential skills for children, especially those who have experience trauma. He shares why gaming is such an effective therapy modality along with tons of practical suggestions. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links The Bodhana Group Website Connect with the Bodhana Group on Instagram
37: Are video games actually bad for kids?
118: Connecting Through Cooking with Chef Kibby
123: Play for the Exhausted Parent with Michelle Batten
Games Mentioned by Jack Junk Art Pugmire Harry Potter Deckbuilder Game Castle Panic Upper Deck Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game Dead of Winter No Thank You Evil Meddling Kids Monster Factory * Blue Orange Games Gamewright Games Haba Games Board Game Arena Tabletop Simulator Tabletopia *This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How can the Enneagram help adoptive parents? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links The Road Back To You by Cron and Stabile*
24: My 2 Parts in the Triad: Melissa’s Story of Being an Adoptee and Adoptive Mom
Lisa's Blog Post, "I used to be a good mom." The Enneagram and Adoption Collective To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880 *This is an affiliate link.
Did you know that play is about more than fun? It's actually good for the brain. Play calms the fear system and leads to closer connections. If you're not naturally playful, have no fear, play can mean lots of different things. In this episode with Michelle Batten, you'll learn new ways to build safety and connection. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Michelle's website Free Download "Bring Playfulness Back- 5 Days of Playful Activities for your family" Connect with Michelle on Instagram Connect with Michelle on Facebook
10: Why won’t my kids just go play?!?!
118: Connecting Through Cooking with Chef Kibby
Trauma Knowledge 101 Guide
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How can I become a peaceful parent? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Brain.fm To ask a question for a future Mentor Moment, leave a message on our 24-hour listener hotline. (208) 741-3880 This is an affiliate link.
Have you ever known what you want to feel in your head, but your heart hasn't caught up? Or do you feel like the daily challenges of raising kids with complex trauma keep piling up in your heart, head, and body? Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (or TRE®) is a simple yet innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. Listen in as Christa Bevan, certified TRE® provider and trauma-informed yoga instructor, talk about the benefits of TRE® for adoptive families. Christa Bevan is a dynamic self-care coach for other Radical Mothers as well as a certified TRE® (tension and trauma releasing exercises) provider and yoga instructor. She is also the host of The Radical Mother Village Podcast. Her coaching practice helps to empower mothers on a journey of healing trauma and doing deeply transformational personal development work. Coming to this work out of necessity, she’s seen the incredible impact healing trauma can have in all directions of your family tree. As a natural teacher, Christa works to educate, support, and inspire people who are ready for radical change in their lives with methods that deliver results. She believes that self-love, compassion, and grace are the core elements of healing, and all start with a foundation of self-awareness. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Christa's Website Freebie from Christa Connect with Christa on Facebook Connect with Christa on Instagram Listen to Christa's podcast Enneagram Panels Series
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do I find the confidence to know what is best for my child? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Related Links The Enneagram and Adoption: Adoptive Mom Panels by Triad
Parenting children with histories of early adversity can be really hard on a marriage. Today Lisa is talking with Currey and JJ Blandford about how to intentionally stay connected in the midst of it all. Currey and JJ are adoptive parents, he is a pastor and she is a therapist. and they lend their knowledge to this conversation. We talk about everything from finding a good therapist to creating small spaces of time to connect. We even talk about observing the Sabbath as a day of rest and connection. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Episode #67 An Unexpected Open Adoption 6 Hours a Week to a Better Relationship The Connected Parent
It can be hard to find time between fulfilling the basic needs of our kids (like feeding them) and correcting behaviors to actually have fun or connect with them. This week's guest, Chef Kibby, helps us kill two birds with one stone. He is a professional chef and culinary instructor with over 25 years in the food industry. Additionally, he is a biological, foster, and adoptive dad who seeks to show other parents how to use the shared act of cooking and eating with their kiddos as a way to build deeper relationships, stronger attachments, and more resilient young people. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Connect with Chef Kibby on Facebook Connect with Chef Kibby on Instagram Cookin with Kibby Website
As our teens get older, their dysmaturity may have us wondering what options they have after high school. A lot of parents wonder if the military is a good option. Your teen may even express interest in joining the military in the future. This week, we're joined by LTC (Ret) Colette Topfer. After 25 years of Army Service and now instructing high school Army JROTC, she brings insight and practical knowledge about if and how we should prepare our teens for military service. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links: Connect with Colette on Instagram
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do you connect well with kids over a large range of stages? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Have you ever wondered why you feel so overwhelmed when your child behaves in a certain way? What is it about a tone of voice that makes your heart race? In today's episode, Kristin Berry joins us to talk about understanding childhood trauma and how this knowledge will transform the way you parent. This conversation is filled with compassion for you and your child and offers hope for the long journey of parenting. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links: Honestly Adoption Website Honestly Adoption on Instagram Honestly Adoption on Facebook Securely Attached: How Understanding Childhood Trauma Will Transform Your Parenting by Mike and Kristin Berry Listen to past episodes featuring Mike or Kristin Berry Click here to register for our upcoming Enneagram Typing Session for Adoptive and Foster Moms. This is an affiliate link
One new thing we’re adding in 2021 is understanding adoption through the lens of the Enneagram. This year we invite you to join us on a journey of gaining powerful insight into your experience as an adoptive or foster parent using the wisdom of the Enneagram as our guide. The Enneagram helps us make sense of our stories while also giving us insight and compassion for the people we love. Today we invited four of our friends to share how understanding the enneagram had influenced their experience as foster and adoptive moms. Each one represents a different Enneagram number. We hope you find these short interviews as fascinating as we do. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
85: The Enneagram and Adoption with Jeff and Beth McCord
20: The Bitter and Sweet of Foster Care Reunification with Jamie Finn
91: Ethical Orphan Care and Adoption with Whitney Runyon
96: Race and Adoption Panel
Connect with Ligia on Instagram Connect with Jamie on Instagram or Facebook Connect with Whitney on Instagram Connect with Amber on Instagram Click here to sign up for Enneagram updates or RSVP for our January 26th Typing Session
As we wrap up 2020, Lisa and Melissa reflect on the highlights for The Adoption Connection. We also asked you to tell us about your most memorable gifts. They ranged from comical to heartwarming. This is a fun listen while you prep for the holidays. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Exploring Grief, Trauma, and Rejection with the Enneagram
At twenty-one years old, Hope O Baker made one of the hardest decisions a person can make: she placed her son for adoption. Afterwards, she struggled with depression, addiction, and overcoming the stigma that surrounds birth mothers. This week, Melissa talks to Hope about some of the unusual parts of her story and about Hope's memoir, Finding Hope: A birthmother's journey into the light. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links: Hope's Website Connect with Hope on Instagram Finding Hope: A birthmother's journey into the light* by Hope O Baker
23: My 2 Parts in the Triad -Lisa’s Story of Being a Birth Mom and Adoptive Mom
105 A Birth Mother’s Story of Adoption Reunion with Adrian Collins
Exploring Grief, Trauma, and Rejection with the Enneagram *This is an affiliate link
Join us as Rebecca Britt, the founder of Stable Moments, she shares her story of growth as a young adoption caseworker and her later development of a unique equine therapy program. This conversation is fascinating for those of us who want to understand more about our children's fear responses. Children can be mentored to learn new awareness of themselves and skills for relating to others - both horses and human. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Stable Moments Website Stable Moment on Instagram
30: How Horses Can Help Kids Heal
Melissa and Lisa on Rebecca's Podcast Faith, Hope & Connection Devotional This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: What do I do if my teen wants to move out? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Call 208-741-3880 to share your most memorable gift.
What if adoptees could tell you about their adoption experience with unedited honesty? Two adoptees came together to create Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections. Shelby Kilgore was born in Korea and adopted by a white couple just before she turned one. Veronica was born in New Orleans, Louisiana, through the closed adoption system. Melissa sat down with them to chat about their stories and how the project came to be. They also chat about the importance of open health records for all adoptees. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links Rooted in Adoption Website Rooted in Adoption Facebook Page Shelby's YouTube Channel Shelby's website [FREE DOWNLOAD] What to Look for in a Mental Health Professional Call in with your most memorable gift to 208-741-3880.
If you're already feeling stressed about the holidays, this episode is for you! Our guest this week is Marie Fiebach, mother of four teens, who knows how hard it is to fit something extra into your already busy life. She brings us practical tips about shopping, meal prep, and how to stay connected to your family during this stressful season. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links: Marie's Website - Feed Your Family Tonight Connect with Marie on Facebook Connect with Marie on Instagram Free Meal Planning Printable Download the Holiday Planning Guide Listen to past holiday episodes Call in to share the most memorable gift you've received. 208-741-3880
Do you have a child who quickly moves to the fear responses of fight, flight, or freeze? In this episode Lisa interviews Jessica Sinarski, a trauma-informed adoption therapist and the author of Riley the Brave: The Little Cub with Big Feelings. You'll love hearing about how her book helps children and their caregivers recognize these fear responses as courageous ways of coping in hard circumstances. As Riley, the little cub, embarks on a journey to overcome his fears, he learns that sometimes, being tough or loud isn't the bravest thing to be - sometimes it's asking for help, or being brave enough to let someone into your heart. This conversation and the book will give you hope for your children and for you too. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links: Connect with Jessica on Instagram Connect with Jessica on Facebook Riley the Brave: Parents Corner Riley the Brave - The Little Cub with Big Feelings! by Jessica Sinarski Brave Brains Trust-based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency by Sharon Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon From Apathy to Empathy - course on Blocked Care Brain-based Parenting by Dan Hughes and Jonathan Baylin The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment by Lisa Qualls *This is an affiliate link.
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do you celebrate your child's adoption day? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join. Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
If you love adoption stories like we do, you won't want to miss this one. Adrian Collins shares her story of giving birth as a young college student and placing her daughter for adoption. Years later she readopted her daughter as an adult. Add to this that Adrian is an adoptive mom, and this all adds up to a fascinating conversation.
Relevant Links: Adrian's website Connect with Adrian on Facebook
23: My 2 Parts in the Triad -Lisa’s Story of Being a Birthmom and Adoptive Mom
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: Should I adopt out of birth order? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Links:
102: The Importance of Keeping Siblings Together with Sue Badeau
Waiting is a normal part of the adoption process. But what happens when your wait seems infinitely long due to a global pandemic? Herbie Newell, President and Executive Director of Lifeline Children’s Services, joins us to answer questions about the status of international adoptions and what families can do to advocate for their children. He also shares practical tips on how to wait well regardless of the type of placement you're waiting for.
Relevant Links: Lifeline Children's Services
41: Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 11 most important things you need to know
42: Practically Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 6 most important things you need to do
The Adoption Connection FB Group The Compassion Challenge
Why is it important to keep siblings together in foster care and adoption? Does it matter? If you have adopted a sibling set or considered it, you'll love hearing from adoption expert, Sue Badeau. She and her husband adopted several sets of siblings and have seen the benefit of that decision for their children. She has a lot of wisdom to share.
Relevant Links: Sue's website Connect with Sue on Facebook
89: A Conversation About Race with Sue Badeau
Are We There Yet?: Adopting and Raising 22 Kids! by Sue Badeau The Compassion Challenge This is an affiliate link
Many teachers don't understand how tricky some traditional assignments are for adopted or foster children. The family tree project is a perfect example. Additionally, transactional behavior management systems, like rewards charts and traffic lights, are problematic because they don't take our kids' histories and past trauma into account. Joelle Broberg is both a veteran educator and adoptive mom who understands both sides. She sat down with Melissa to talk about how parents can best work with teachers and the new CEU course she's created for teachers so they can create adoption-sensitive classrooms.
Relevant Links: Joelle's website Joelle's course Connect with Joelle on FB
It's time to celebrate! This is the 100th episode of The Adoption Connection podcast! We've worked hard to show up consistently with great content for our listeners. Honestly, producing the podcast gives us joy and we're happy to know it's serving you well. To celebrate we have two guest co-hosts, Claire Qualls, Lisa's 17-year-old daughter, and PJ Corkum, Melissa's 17-year-old son. We're also giving away tons of great gifts so you can join in our happiness. Don't miss this fun episode!
Visit Our Sponsors! Click here to enter the giveaway via Facebook. Click here to enter the giveaway via Instagram. Cork Board Essentials Creative Quillings Creative Quillings on Instagram Kathie with Monat Feed Your Family Tonight Feed Your Family Tonight on Facebook LamgoLand LamgoLand on Instagram LamgoLand on Facebook Mathnasium of Bel Air LigiaSpeaks LigiaSpeaks on Instagram Sara Easterly Sara Easterly on Instagram Sara Easterly on Facebook Sara Easterly on Twitter Tiny Dog Press Tiny Dog Press on Instagram Tiny Dog Press on Facebook Kristen Hill Taylor Transfiguring Adoption Transfiguring Adoption on Instagram Maria Hansen-Quine Maria Hansen-Quine on Instagram Maria Hansen-Quine on Facebook Goods & Better Adoption Survival Adoption Survival on Facebook Keppel & Kismet Creative Workshop on Instagram Keppel & Kismet Creative Workshop on Facebook
Have you ever stopped to appreciate your child's challenging behaviors? It's not our first inclination either, but Lynne Jackson, co-found of Connected Families, is often heard telling parents that our kids will use their strengths, not their weaknesses, to get what they want. This week, Melissa chats with Chad Hayenga and Anna Braasch of Connected Families, to find out more about how we can find and appreciate the gifts gone awry in our children's misbehaviors.
Relevant Links: Connected Families Website Connected Families on Facebook Connected Families on Instagram Free Serenity Prayer Downloads
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: I'm freaked out about this school year. It's not at all what I hoped it would be. How am I going to survive? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Episodes
31: 7 Ways for Parents to Relieve a Stressed-Out Brain
71: Creating Daily Practices for Strong Family Relationships with Beth Guckenberger
80: Pandemic Schooling Advice from a School Counselor
In this episode, Maria Hansen-Quine shares her remarkable story of becoming an adoptive family. Her family of nine children through both birth and adoption has also experienced childhood cancer. You'll be encouraged by her journey.
Relevant Links: Maria's Blog Connect with Maria on IG Be Different and Be Kind: A Story about Diversity by Maria Hansen-Quine Maria on Episode #80: Pandemic Schooling Advice from a School Counselor Deborah Gray's Books Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents This is an affiliate link
Race and adoption. Two issues with many layers of complexity. This week we're replaying a conversation we hosted in our Facebook group with Derek Hamer (transracial adoptee), Ligia Cushman (transracial adoptive parent and adoption professional), and Melissa Corkum (transracial adoptee and transracial adoptive parent). We tackled questions like, "How do we educate our kids without inducing fear," and, "What is the future for transracial adoption?"
Relevant Links: Ligia's Blog Connect with Ligia on Instagram Melissa's Website Connect with Melissa on Instagram Connect with Derek on Instagram A Conversation about Race with Sue Badeau (includes book recommendations)
A lot of adoptees share big feelings of loss, fear, and abandonment. They seem to have a birthmom shaped hole in their hearts. In this episode, Sara Easterly, adoptee and author, shares her experience of growing up feeling like she was missing something and her search for her birthmom. She also shares practical tips for how to help our kids process big feelings.
Relevant Links: Sara's website Connect with Sara on Instagram Searching for Mom by Sara Easterly This is an affiliate link
Obviously, our kids are safe with us most of the time. We put a roof over their head, keep them away from strangers, and make sure they look both ways before crossing the street. But the feeling of safety can be much more elusive. Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) is a multi-day auditory intervention designed to reduce stress and auditory sensitivity while enhancing social engagement and emotional resilience. Based on Dr. Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, by calming the physiological and emotional state, the door is opened for improved communication and increased felt safety. The SSP is a research-based therapy showing significant results in just a couple months in the following areas:
Social and emotional difficulties Auditory sensitivities Speech and language Anxiety and trauma-related challenges Stressors that impact social engagement
Relevant Links: Learn more about SSP
You've heard of postpartum depression, but did you that adoptive moms can experience something quite similar?According to a 2012 study at Purdue University, Post-Adoption Depression affects 18-26 percent of adoptive moms? So why don't we hear much about it? And why is it cloaked in shame?Today's guest, Amy Callahan, shares her story of post-adoption depression following the adoptions of her children. Through her experience, she found multiple tools to help herself come through the darkness and back into the light of enjoying her family and her life. She generously shares her journey and her top tips in this episode.
Relevant Links: Connect with Amy on Instagram Depression: A Guide to Helping Transform Your Family This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: how do we determine the appropriate level of interaction with birth family? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
When Whitney and Nick Runyon put together her photography skills and his ability to travel on a budget as an airline pilot, a beautiful organization was born. The Archibald Project uses stories to educate people in all the ways to care for orphaned and vulnerable children. Melissa chats with Whitney about how her and Nick navigated their adoption, their whirlwind romance, and how others around the world are caring for their vulnerable children right in their community.
Relevant Links: Connect with Whitney on Instagram The Archibald Project's Website Before We Were Yours: A Novel by Lisa Wingate This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do you recover on days when a child has a meltdown? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
If the recent events have you evaluating what practical steps you need to be taking when raising a child transracially, this episode is for you. Sue is a white adoptive mom to children of color. Her first son was adopted forty years ago. We discuss her original thoughts on parenting children of color and what she has learned since those early days.
Sue is a wise adoption educator who is not afraid to tackle hard topics like white privilege and practical tips for raising children of another race. Don't miss this one.
Relevant Links: Sue's website Connect with Sue on Facebook
Waking Up White by Debby Irving White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson America's Original Sin: Racism, White Privilege and the Bridge to a New America by Jim Wallis So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla F. Saad
*This is an affiliate link
Parenting under the best of circumstances can be difficult. And raising children who have come to your home from “hard places,” who have their own set of unique needs, brings even more challenges. You may have discovered that the techniques that worked with your birth children are not working with your adopted or foster child. On July 7, the last written work of renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis releases into the world. The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment was co-authored by our own Lisa Qualls. This week she shares how the book came to be and what you can expect.
Relevant Links: Lisa's Website and Book Page The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment by Karyn Purvis, PhD and Lisa Qualls Connect with Lisa on Instagram Connect with Lisa on Facebook Join the Launch/Review Team This is an affiliate link
It's easy to think that our children's experiences start at birth. But a baby is processing sensory and attachment signals throughout most of their time in utero. This directly impacts how they interpret the world later in life. Join us for this fascinating conversation with adoptive mom and nurse, Stacey Gagnon, about pre-natal trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACES).
Relevant Links: Stacey's blog Lost Sparrows Trauma Lens Care
04: How to Talk to Your Kids About Their Story
40: Parenting Kids with FASDs and Invisible Disabilities Successfully with Eileen Devine
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do you balance the needs of different children in your home? They are old enough to notice that they have different rules, choices, and expectations than the other kids. I need to make sure my foster children have the structure they need to thrive and to make sure my bio children have the opportunity to grow in their independence. Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Links The Village
Are you curious about how personality impacts the dynamic between you and your kids? Do they seem to see the world differently than you do? How about your spouse? In this episode, we're talking with Jeff and Beth McCord about using the enneagram to understand that we all look at life through a particular lens. Once we understand our lens and the lens of our family members, we can build even healthier relationships. We love this interview with Jeff and Beth McCord and know you will too.
Relevant Links: Jeff and Beth's Website Connect with Jeff and Beth on Instagram Becoming Us by Beth and Jeff McCord The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile *This is an affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: If we were sitting in a coffee shop, the one thing I would probably ask is did you have family and friends supporting you? Where did your biggest support system come from? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Links The Adoption Connection Podcast #44 Should I Homeschool My Adopted Child? The Adoption Connection Podcast #54 What Should I Look For In A Mental Health Professional? The Adoption Connection Podcast #64 Finding Adoption Support In Your Church With Jen Decker
Infertility and pregnancy loss are often a part of an adoptive family's story. This week, Erin Gaeng, shares her story of infertility and loss with both vulnerability and hope. We also talk about the husbands. Everyone forgets the husbands! If you want to connect with Erin, you can pretty much always find her at Disney World. She hangs out on Instagram @erinfrommaryland.
Relevant Links: The Adoption Connection Facebook group
Our kids are struggling with disappointment over things that have been lost due to quarantine - track season, dance recitals, and prom, for example. Lisa's daughter, Claire, is finishing her senior year of high school without a graduation ceremony. Today we're talking about recognizing grief and supporting our kids. Additionally in this episode, we talk honestly about grief surrounding foster care and adoption through the lens of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief, plus an additional sixth stage.
Links Relevant to this episode: 5 Stage of Grief Episode 20: The Bitter and Sweet of Foster Care Reunification with Jamie Finn Episode 31: 7 Ways for Parents to Relieve a Stressed-Out Brain
We love a good book, and if it's about adoption, all the better. We were delighted to discover the Instagram account Adoption.books where Lanaya Graham reviews adoption and foster care themed books, particularly those with adoptee and birthparent voices.
Relevant Links: Lanaya's website Connect with Lanaya on Instagram Books mentioned in this episode: The Primal Wound The Connected Child Growing Grace Little Fires Everywhere The Cactus The Language of Flowers You Don't Look Adopted Far From the Tree Families Change The Girls Who Went Away Star of the Week Lion *This is an affiliate link
Surprise! Your kids are now doing school at home. Have you gotten past the shock? You may be wondering just what a school day should look like. You may also be trying to figure out how much of the work planned by teachers needs to be completed. Our guest today is Maria Hansen-Quine. She is a school counselor and the mom of nine kids including some who joined her family through adoption. With insight into parenting and educating children with trauma histories, Maria shares her tips for navigating the uncharted waters of education during a pandemic.
Regulation Ideas: Our Before-School Regulation Plan (using with her 4th grade boy) - Keep it tight (no last minute changes) - Pre-agreed upon breakfast (food schedule) - Pre-agreed upon clothes laid out the night before - No electronic OR playing with toys before school - 10 minutes of jumping on the trampoline by themselves before breakfast (and if really heightened - after breakfast as well) - For bad weather, use rocking chair or inside swing - Pet Time (2-5 minutes) - Times of connection with parent (2-5 minutes) - If not regulated, does not start school Throughout the Day Regulation Ideas - Rocking chair for 10 minutes - Running and/or walking - Playing basketball outside or inside (shooting hoops) - Music - Chewing Gum and or hard candy to suck on - Weighted blanket - Drawing and/or coloring - Keeping a Thankful Journal - Bath/Hot Tub/Shower - Sports and/or something active - Weighted lap blanket - Sensory Sock - Jump Rope - Pull Up Bar for the door - Push Ups and/or sit-ups and/or wall push ups - Planks - Agreed Upon Time with Toys (Legos) - Protein snack such as cheese, nuts, meat or eggs - Physical Competitions - Inside Hopscotch (use strong tape to mark it off) - Chalking in the garage - Bike ride/scootering/skateboard - Daily writing positive self-affirming sentences, i.e. “I can stay calm. I can trust my family. I can do my school work and if I need help I will ask” - Something non-electronic which your child normally enjoys (yet something which they will not get so completely lost in that stopping it will cause frustration) - Breathing Apps (“Breathe” or “Calm Down”) Relevant Links: Maria's Blog Connect with Maria on Instagram Connect with Maria on Facebook Brain Quest books This is an affiliate link
Do you ever wish you could get a deeper understanding of what it's like to be adopted? Today's guest, Tara VanderWoude, is an adopted person and adoptive mom. She speaks with candor, humor, and passion about talking to our kids about adoption, the importance of having realistic expectations before adopting, returning to Korea with her family, and more.
Relevant Links: Tara's Website Connect with Tara on Facebook Connect with Tara on Instagram
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How do I overcome my body's trauma response? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Links EMDR Tension, Stress, and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE)
Do you ever wonder if you're expecting too much from your child? Or maybe too little? How can you support your child and have appropriate expectations? Eileen Devine, LCSW, joins us today to talk about radical acceptance from a neurobehavioral model. She offers practical tips you're doing to love.
Relevant Links: FREE Parenting Reflection Journal Eileen's Website Connect with Eileen on FB Connect with Eileen on Instagram Rising Strong by Brene Brown The Adoption Connection Facebook Group The Village This is an affiliate link
Adoptive and foster families face unique challenges when a global pandemic disrupts the normal routine. Don't panic! You've got this. In this episode, we're sharing our best tips for staying calm and connected and helping your kids manage themselves during this stressful time.
Relevant Resources and Links: 10 Trauma Principles to Practice During COVID-19 The Joy of Movement with Kelly McGonigal, PhD Just For Kids: A Comic Exploring The New Coronavirus An important post about Corona Virus and Racism Talking to Kids About the Coronavirus 5 Ways to Help Teens Manage Anxiety About the Coronavirus
God is in the business of restoring broken lives and bringing people into relationship with Him. Sometimes it's a quiet, simple process, other times it's a radical transformation. Our guests today have an incredible story of being young neo-Nazis when God changing their hearts, the way the viewed people, and the way they live and serve him. Ultimately they became foster and adoptive parents and now have full-time ministries focused on family preservation in Canada and Haiti. We hope you enjoy their story as much as we do.
Relevant Resources and Links: Stigge Vlog Safe Families Success Story Safe Families Canada website Little by Little website Little by Little Video
If you could have a candid conversation with a transracially adopted young black man, what would you want to ask him? This is the question we asked members of our Facebook group prior to Lisa's interview with Derek Hamer. He shares his story with vulnerability that helps us see through his eyes.
Relevant Resources and Links: Waking Up White: and Finding Myself in the Story of Race by Debby Irving The Skin I'm In by Sharon Flake No One Ever Asked by Katie Ganshert The Color of Us by Karen Katz Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? * by Beverly Daniel Tatum The Adoption Connection Facebook Group *affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: My son's apologies feel empty. Any ideas? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Links Apology Language Quiz
When your teen's chronological age doesn't match their social/emotional age, it can be scary to think about launching them into the world. This week, Dr. Kris Kittle, co-author of Wisdom from Adoptive Families: Joys and Challenges in Older Child Adoption*, answers questions crowd-sourced from you about preparing your older child for adulthood.
Relevant Links: Wisdom from Adoptive Families: Joys and Challenges in Older Child Adoption by Kris Kittle PhD and Kelly Reed PhD Adoption Survival Website Connect with Kris on Facebook God's Design For Sex Series The Focus on the Family® Guide to Talking with Your Kids about Sex: Honest Answers For Every Age The Importance of Allowing Our Children to Struggle - blog post affiliate link
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: My son's behavior has drastically changed since we adopted another child. Help! Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Links The Compassion Challenge
05: Giving Voice to Siblings
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Dan Siegel affiliate link
Sometimes you have a guest who can speak to so many topics, you don't know where to start. Lisa had the privilege of interviewing author, speaker, and minstry leader, Beth Guckenberger. Beth shares wisdom and a unique perspective on marriage for all parents, especially those with demanding schedules and/or parenting kids with unique needs.
Relevant Links: Join the Compassion Challenge Some of Beth's books: Start with Amen: How I Learned to Surrender by Keeping the End in Mind Reckless Faith | A 40 Day Journey to Saying Yes * Tales of the Not Forgotten Connect with Beth on her website. Connect with Beth at Back2Back Connect with Beth on Instagram *This is an affiliate link.
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: What Do We Do When Kids Don't Care About Consequences? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Relevant Links The Compassion Challenge
Do you love someone who struggles with addiction? Are you worried about your teen? Do your children love someone who struggles with addiction? This week's guest struggled with addictions that started in her teens. She has now been sober for over 30 years. She generously shares her story and offers wisdom for parents of teens and young adults. She also shares the 7 C's for children who have parents who use substances. 1. I didn't Cause it. 2. I can't Cure it. 3. I can't Control it. 4. I can help take Care of myself by... 5. Communicating my feelings 6. Making healthy Choices 7. And Celebrating me. You can find more information about the 7 C's and other resources at the National Association of Children of Alcoholics.
Relevant Links: Connect with Kathy via Facebook Connect with Kathy via Instagram
Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are. This week's question is: How Do I Help My Nonverbal Toddler Communicate? Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group. Click here to join. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on a future episode? Call our listener hotline, 24 hours a day, at (208) 741-3880 to record your question.
Relevant Links
25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel
What would you do if your young child asked you to find her birth father? Our guest today experienced that exact situation when her young daughter told her she wanted to see her birth father.
The relationship with her daughter's birth mom had already evolved from being nearly closed to completely open. But this was a big step.
Listen as Tonya shares her story of listening, trusting God, and putting her child's needs above her personal comfort.
Books Tonya Recommends: In Their Own Voices In Their Parents’ Voices In Their Siblings’ Voices All By Rita Simon and Rhonda Roorda
The Open Adoption: A Birth Father's Journey* by Darrick C. Rizzo
God Found Us You* by Lisa Tawn Bergen
Tween magazine, For Girls Like You, had an issue on adoption. March/April 2019.
Relevant Links: The Adoption Connection Facebook Group
*Affiliate links
Do you have teens or young adults? We get more questions about parenting this group than any other. We both currently have teens at home and have launched several of our young adults. Parenting teens and young adults has unique rewards and challenges, especially when our teens have experienced trauma and adverse experiences. We’ve learned from our mistakes and successes. In the end, it all comes down to one key thing and we can’t wait to tell you about it. Don’t miss this episode about parenting with the future in mind!
Additional posts about parenting teens and young adults Older Child Adoption | What I Would Have Done Differently 10 Disastrous Mistakes Parents Make in Older Child Adoption Older Child Adoption | What We Did Right More Lessons in Older Child Adoption 12 Practical Tips for Parenting Teens A Three-Point Plan for Parenting Middle Schoolers
If your family is a blend of kids by birth and adoption/foster care, or if you had an established family created by adoption and then added new children from “hard places,” don’t miss this interview with Lisa’s daughter, Annarose. How do siblings in the family feel, and what do they experience, when you add children to the family through adoption or foster care? What if the new children come with lots of challenges? In this episode, Lisa interviews her daughter and middle child of eleven, Annarose, about the challenges and blessings of being a sister to kids through adoption. Annarose loves life, adventure, and Jesus. At the time of the interview, she was studying abroad in Colombia, South America.
Links Relevant to this episode: Have your children take Lisa's sibling survey here. Giving Voice to Siblings Part 1 and Part 2. Big Kid Date Night What about the siblings?