Story Time with Dave: Recent Episodes
Story Time with Dave
I'm a stand up comedian so sometimes I rant, but here at Story Time With Dave we focus on stories. It started as writing prompts that I would take off the rails until eventually, it has evolved into my own wild, ludicrous stories of adventure with hilarious absurdity. My friend Steve serves as the sound engineer in this venture, and he spices up the stories with music and sound effects that really take you there within the story. Besides that, I invite local comedians on the podcast to talk shop and promote new ventures.
I almost missed it! The most consequential day in human history needs to be remembered at all costs, so here I am doing my part.
I start this one by talking a bit about Elon and the Twitter files and why it's pretty wack, and then the second half we dive into MAGA communism a bit which is the most fun political development in decades!
This is a pretty quick one because I didn't really have much of a plan going into it, but we touch on some topics including my December Gallery on Instagram which featured laughing dictators, and we also discuss people dressing up like dogs and going in public and why that's a problem. Thanks!
This one has it all I think it's my favorite episode I have done even tho I'm sick as a dawg I just powered through and provided you with the greatness you are accustomed to.
What do you think it's about? Sorry I've been away, this one has been a long time coming. We don't cover everything, there will be more to come, but I think we made some good progress here.
We all know that no one is more annoying than a liberal but what I've found out recently is that libertarians and conspiracy theorists can be pretty annoying too!
Rap is dead, comedy is dead (for the time being), I explain why with UNPRECEDENTED EXPERT ANALYSIS.
We talk politics for a bit like 30 minutes but the second half of the episode is about the decline of ESPN and what led to it's current unwatchable state, and also why tennis is the best but I'm not tryna persuade anyone or anything
I'm solo on this episode and going thru the full 23 minute Biden interview from when he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel's show, analyzing and ridiculing both of them.
Here's the article about Joe's "childhood stutter"
https://www.revolver.news/2022/05/joe-biden-supposed-childhood-stutter/
First 40 to 45 minutes is mostly about gay stuff and trans stuff and then we pivot into debt slavery as the best form of foreign policy, I also make such a good analogy about what the US empire is today
Lauren and I discuss the Uvalde shooting and then we move onto speaking about the justice system and it's flaws and I'm sure there's some other stuff in there as well
Today Lauren and I are talking gun violence and gun control and why the constitution might not be all it's hyped up to be but we really only scratch the surface on that part.
Lauren joins me and we cover a range of topics from Monkey Pox to NATO and all sorts of other stuff
We are discussing the new bill proposed in Victoria, Australia, the Agriculture Legislation Amendment Bill 2022. This factors into the (likely) incoming food shortages as well as the agenda to get the slaves eating bugs instead of steaks!
Here is one of the most controversial topics and, amazingly, one of my least controversial takes!
This is not a standard episode all I did was read a really excellent article that I came across written by a Swiss Intelligence fella who has worked with NATO and the UN. Have not encountered a more comprehensive breakdown of the Ukraine situation elsewhere, and it is long and dense and it's kind of a boring episode but if you want a better idea of what's going on I recommend that you listen.
Here we talk about the re-emergence of my alter ego as a tyrannical psychopath and how his views on the Ukraine and Russia conflict closely align with the actions taken by the Biden administration. Then I talk about all sorts of stuff relating to international relations and it's a real fun time!
On nearly the same day the old scam ends, a new one begins. Be very wary when you find yourself on the same side as Hillary Clinton, George Soros, Mitch McConnell, etc.
Here's the episode with Edward Dowd that I mention briefly in the episode:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/Dd6Yoc8fd9I0/
First hour or so I talk about recapping certain aspects of the health scam, but also point out and focus on a lot of the white pills we are seeing and how for the first time in two years there's a lot of good news. It's the year of the lion bros. The 45 minutes following is a dissection of a Council on Foreign Relations article relating to the Russia and Ukraine situation and I do a pretty solid analysis. Good to check in with the CFR to see the kinda nonsense they are spewing and keep an eye on them.
Video of reporter questioning intelligence spokeshole:
https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1489336004637044746
Lauren makes her first appearance on the podcast and at first we discussed internet trolling for a bit but then we started talking about 9/11 and you know how it is
GREATEST ATTACK ON OUR DEMOCRACY SINCE THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR!!!! What could be more appropriate for the 200th episode than a January 6th celebration?
This episode is really good just listen to it you don't need a description you know what it's about but there's also a couple stories in here that are both insightful and uplifting
On this episode I talk about the latest ICAN lawsuit, some of the latest c-word and v-word nonsense, the 1954 Capitol Shooting, CRT and how it doesn't exist apparently, and more!
I haven't dropped an episode in weeks, so much has happened and this episode focuses primarily on (you know, the thing) and also Australia
On this episode we discuss the supposed ongoing "health crisis", the insanity in Australia, and the reality that the third of the nation that is hypnotized is almost exclusively democrats. Enjoy!
Ok this is one of the last few episodes of Story Time with Dave. But fear not! It is also the beginning of something truly extraordinary. I explain all on the episode, enjoy!
Venmo: David-Namery
This episode features me ranting for like a half hour at the top and then we explore the infamous 'Operation Lockstep' white paper that I had never actually read before, pretty insightful!
Venmo: David-Namery
In this episode I discuss how board man gets paid and why that is so important for every day life and our journey. Also, I talk about the things you have grown accustomed to me talking about for the past year and a half or so. Great episode, enjoy!
Venmo - David-Namery
On this episode I speculate that maybe, just maybe, Joe Biden has gone ROGUE. Also, I continue my journey to becoming the anti-racist hero that I always knew I could be.
On this episode I am joined by my buddy Luke and we discuss how we are revolutionizing comedy in Hoboken. This is a different episode than usual, back to raging against the government next week!
Two episodes in a row now we are joined by the official STWD fetal alcohol baby, my sister Rachel. On this episode she talks about nutrition and health which is what we intended to do the first time around.
Venmo: David-Namery
Paypal: Dnamery22@gmail.com
This episode I am joined by my fetal alcohol sister Rachel and we discuss all sorts of things mostly related to the scam.
Venmo: David-Namery
If you still think it's just a stutter, you may also have dementia!
Venmo: David-Namery
The jig is up on this scam, but a lot of people are still having trouble coming to terms with that. This episode is all over the place and there is plenty of (you know what it is but I want to test something) talk but I also talk comedy, being sober, China and the CIA, etc.
Venmo: David-Namery
On this episode I proudly announce Story Time with Dave's first official sponsor! Also I am trying to improve the sound quality with less mic pops I promise I am really!
Venmo: David-Namery
The last 30 minutes or so we delve into a bit of American history and you get a slightly better idea of the title of this episode but not entirely, there will be more true history to come (not state propaganda history). The first hour is what you are accustomed to hearing I think it's pretty swell.
Venmo: David-Namery (If you feel like it)
The world needs you now more than ever, vaccinated people. Also get a carbon steel pan or what are you doing?
In this episode I tell you the cure to the common cold and I also ramble a lot but I think there was a point
I discuss the weak white people who are more than willing to give up any one of our few remaining freedoms since they never had to struggle for them, putting us at risk of becoming a true police state such as Canada. Also talk about the new Domestic Violent Extremist stuff.
You got a date this weekend. You, my brotha Tony, a baseball bat, and ya fuckin knee caps.
Criticizing Israel is antisemitism plain and simple and that's not just propaganda okay
At this point I just want people to be honest. You don't need to apologize to the "conspiracy theorists" or for the fact that you were wrong since the beginning. But at least acknowledge your truth, that you are a huge pussy! Thank you.
Major trigger warning if you are a polyamorous man or a man who wears a mask indoors/alone in the car.
I mean it's right there in the title. I talk about other stuff too but you know what to expect, enjoy!
On this episode I talk about how Asian lives matter I guess and then also how I got shadow banned oh and of course, how safe and effective things are!
I smoked weed before recording but it still came out pretty good, some solid rants in here. Government is pimp, we are hoe, etc, etc.
I refuse to ever have guests on my podcast. With that being said, I was joined by the following people on this episode, episode 173:
Erin Wohlberg
Mark Henley
Ben Miller
Josh Wells
Relevant Links:
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My Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_puIpfMOu_jVrmjPhe9G6Q
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Bomb mode cyphers: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-LWLNSpwu0puA2Kmf3-wng
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Josh's newsletter: https://joshwells.substack.com/
On this episode I discuss the Cov-hoax a bit, Bill Gates (Satan himself), and the phenomenon of "compassionate" people dancing on the graves of their political enemies!
In this episode I explain the story of Malcolm AND the story of Q to Erin and she does very little talking.
I am still reeling from the ATTEMPTED COUP at the capitol and how they almost took Nancy from us. However, it's not all bad news as I realized the power elites are actually doing some of the best comedy in decades right now and we are living in it!
Title is pretty self explanatory. Only get it if you're old, otherwise you are better off just getting covid. Now listen to me rant for an hour to come to that conclusion, there are funny moments I assure you.
On this episode I am joined by Raphael Hernandez, my first guest (cohost) in a long time and we talk about how Michael Obama, I mean Michelle Obama, is definitely a man among other things.
I think it's high time we rid ourselves of freedom in exchange for safety, what good is doing what you want if you can't do so safely?? Don't be a Greta.
You guys know old Scott. All over the place this episode, New Normal, election, chaos, looming riots, mass police presence, Science with a capital S, etc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih9n2Ni19gg&list=RDih9n2Ni19gg&start_radio=1
This is just a really short short story that popped into my head at work on this fine election day afternoon. A glimpse into Joe Biden's future if he is in fact tonight's victor.
On this episode I discuss what a rewarding and spiritual experience it is to tear up your ballot and throw it in the garbage. I also discuss a recent stroke of genius I had at a comedy show.
In this episode no one is safe. Not Joe Biden, Not Jerry Seinfeld, not even my family. Full stop.
Well thankfully, the pandemic is over. Unfortunately we are all in denial about this. Similarly, many of us are in denial about the fact that Joe Biden is full blown senile. If you don't like masks or Joe Biden, please listen. If you like masks and Joe Biden, then you'll probably want to hate-listen which is fine too. Love you.
This episode is basically an audiobook where I read most of a pamphlet entitled: Billions for the Bankers, Debts for the People. In it you will learn about the federal reserve, the concept of interest, debt, etc. It's more of a broad introduction to the topic but it's very enlightening.
The two books referenced:
Conquest or Consent - W. B. Vennard
The Creature from Jekyll Island - G. Edward Griffin
On this episode I talk about how, if there's anything we know about the Taliban, it's that they are trustworthy. Thus, the news story that Russians are paying Taliban members to kill US troops must be true! Also, I talk about red ties and blue ties and COVID, it's a fun time what a great episode this is!
In this episode I discuss the absurdity of Fauci saying New York "did it right" despite the fact that they have the most deaths of any state, the next closest being NJ with less than half as many. Then, I discuss the BLM movement and how the organization isn't exactly what many people think. I examine the mission statement from their website and talk about some red flags.
At one point I read from an article about the Libyan slave trade, here's the link:
https://time.com/longform/african-slave-trade/
After a several week hiatus I have returned bearing good news! Just kidding, it's very bad news...but I've been reading a lot and I share some of my insights. Many of us live in a false reality. The media is entertainment. Politics is theater. Everything is a lie! Woo!
On this episode I fix everything that is wrong with society for the second time consecutively.
It's just like what the title says, why would you assume anything different? Also there's a rant about my autocratic utopia.
This episode is about the things in the title so I don't really see why you need more of an explanation!
This is a lot of ranting about Biden and politics and Hitler and all the other stuff I talk about all the time ya know?
I constantly discover that I was completely wrong about things within 24 hours of discovering the thing that I thought was the thing but turns out not to be the thing and I LOVE that!
This episode was recorded whilst walking on an elliptical. It's about how Anthony Fauci is a cock sucker (allegedy) and plenty of other shit too. Rachel is on the episode briefly discussing how she is dealing with being a fetal alcohol baby. We also talk about Michael Jordan!
This is an angry rant about virtual comedy and then at the end I briefly point out that the MeToo movement is officially over.
On this episode I talk about video games like World of Warcraft and Call of Duty that start out amazing and slowly get worse and worse because of bad decisions by the company. I also talk a little bit about the first Albert Camus book I read and then finally I talk about porn stars a little bit, particularly Sophie Dee.
Final thoughts on the Asians and then we move onto new topics. Including your fear of the blank page, you coward.
On this episode, I give the Chinese a piece of my mind. But not the Koreans! I love Koreans.
On this episode I talk abut the negotiating skills of Jews vs Indians. I go onto discuss the 'Big 3' of proper leadership which consists of, obviously, charisma, blackmail, and hostages!
I talk about a few things on this episode, primarily this new virtual open mic/show phenomenon.
This pandemic is actually pretty chill so I'm now glad that Chinese people eat fried bats. Also, FDR was a dictator and Stalin, not Hitler, is my favorite totalitarian autocrat so I pay homage to him. Further, I detail some new plans in my effort to become Supreme Leader. Love you.
On this episode I talk about life with the Rona Vi. I also discuss the tendencies of Jewish folks, like myself, to lie about things.
This is a new thing I'm doing called Writer's Workshop. These episodes are going to focus heavily on writing and different strategies and things I've learned about writing jokes and stories. My goal is to make these episodes practical unlike a lot of the vague comedy advice out there. It also helps me when I can analyze what makes something funny or engaging. This first episode is about storytelling.
I know I've been talking a lot about sandwiches lately but this was just ridiculous I couldn't not talk about it.
THIS IS ERIN'S PODCAST! Erin has a podcast called Back of the Book. We read the summary of a book (on the back, ya know) and then we determine the plot of the book based only on that information. She had me on about a month ago; due to technical difficulties couldn't release the episode on her channel. So I'm releasing it here, all her idea though. This episode was too good not to release, definitely give it a listen. The Jews did 9/11.
Cutlet on this sandwich and you didn't melt the cheese? And the dude forgot the salt pepper ketchup on my Hobo. Unbelievable. Also I talk a little bit about politics and then writing.
On this episode Shane McMurdo joins me once again. We talked about Kobe, the new job that Shane is taking as a college football recruiter at Arizona, and we finish up talking comedy for a bit.
On this episode I talk about a sketchy sales job I did in Queens. Only there for 4 days and I got plenty of stories. Cold calling and trying to manipulate old people with dementia into giving me their credit card info. You know how it is.
On this episode I basically talk about music and comedy and why people are more easily impressed by mediocre music than by good comedy.
Been hitting the city a lot more recently for mics and what not, learning a lot and very excited about moving there soon. I have some stories for you from the past week including offending a Chinese woman for suggesting that Mao wasn't a good guy.
Comedy episode. I talk about a few sets I did this week and something that I'm learning about certain audiences which has made things easier and resulted in better sets. I also talk about my night in the city the other day which was awesome. And then I throw in some Australia wildfire and Iran war hot takes in the middle because why not?
On this episode I am once again joined by the voice in my head who berates me for getting really stoned and eating way too much before bed, we also talk about comedy and Christmas.
On this episode I am joined by the voice in my head and we do battle. I also talk about comedy and the Witcher.
This is the first history episode I've done I think. World War 2 is one of my favorite history topics, particularly the eastern front (Soviet Union vs. Germany). I'm reading this book called Stalingrad by Antony Beevor so this episode is about the lead up to that battle. I read a lot of passages from the book, I find it very interesting I hope you enjoy it.
On this episode I talk about the first few jobs I had in my life: working at a frozen yogurt place, then Harmon, then Trader Joe's, then a different frozen yogurt place. I tell any funny stories that I remember and what it was like. In part 2 I'll talk about Valet and the smoothie place which have the best stories.
I know I've said it before but I'm gonna be a sober boi now, I gotta take better care of myself and it's also the only way I'll ever quit smoking cigarettes. Here's me talking about my feelings and shit.
On this episode I talk a bit about how I started playing guitar again and how I want to write really dark and messed up folk songs. Then I explain a bit more about why I do the type of comedy I do and why I say terrible things from time to time!
Every few months I'll have these big realizations about comedy and learn a bunch of things at once, like a lot of stuff will click. It's always usually after I'm in a rut for a while, but it usually signifies the end of the valley and the beginning of some nice improvement. Here is the latest edition of some of my comedy thoughts.
My sister joins me on this episode and she attempts to explain the Ego. We also discuss a few other random things and finish the episode with a story from a few years ago, where Rachel got too high in the city so me and my friend Sean had to go rescue her at 4 am.
Look, I like Instagram thots as much as the next fella, but you want $30 a month?? For a premium account? Are you insane? Well, once again the Internet has won as many of us expected. In this podcast you will hear an important secret, but it must be kept a secret. Listen.
Big changes in my life people. Here is an update. Not particularly funny but I felt like talking to you about it <3
This is a solo episode where I talked about some random shit, I made an analogy between comedy and music that helps me explain something I've been trying to explain to you a little bit better. I can't even remember the other topics I talked about, solid episode tho.
I am joined once again by Sean Barry for this episode, we recorded this the day after Halloween and we were both nursing pretty severe hangovers.
On this episode I am joined by Sally Torreggiani and Renee Stanko. We talked about a lot of random shit and it was fun and hilarious.
On this episode I am going to pitch you my proposition: Help me get myself into a luxurious high-rise apartment in NYC for free and in exchange I will let you hang out there sometimes. Unless I don't like you, in which case I'll frame you for a crime.
On this episode Shane and I discuss some comics who used to be huge and then kinda fell off the map.
Me and Rachel recorded a podcast about health and other random shit and then at the end I talk about Bron Bron and China.
This episode is kinda all over the place but basically I touched on Trump and removing a bunch of our troops from Syria and how he kinda screwed the Kurds. Then I talk about this New York Times opinion article that I saw that I didn't really like. Also touched on the fact that I'm starting to look at things a bit differently especially the past few weeks.
On this episode I am joined by my friend and fellow comedian Jesse Montanez. We talked about all kinds of stuff but it mostly centered around comedy and Twitter and stuff like that. Enjoy!
This is a random episode. I was in my STUDIO (closet upstairs) looking through a bookshelf and reading passages from random shit. I found a copy of the US constitution and learned that I only knew like 3 amendments. So I read the 12th amendment which is the most confusing thing ever, besides probably other amendments which are equally as confusing. And also talked about some other stuff.
This is a great episode. I am solo on this one, I talk about Game of Thrones since I just about finished the first book, then I discuss comedy briefly, and finally I briefly touch on Family of Secrets which is a book I started reading about the Bush family and fucked up political dynasties and the sketchy shit they do and JFK was an inside job.
Well it's been 109 episodes since we last had him, but here it is the return of Andrew Steiner. We had a really good chat about comedy and some of the stuff we've been thinking about lately. We also recorded an episode of his podcast, True K Podcast, that will probably be uploaded in the next few days. We talked about being Jews! Great episode. Link to his podcast is below.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-k-pod/id1166414629
Nate joins the podcast once again. We discuss reading as usual and this episode is probably the best one yet we really killed it I mean it's very impressive. Thus Spoke Bottom Tranny.
I've been having a lot of guests on the podcast recently and it's been fun, but I needed some alone time with my audience (you) so that's what this episode is. It's a general update on the podcast and my life, I had planned to do this for the 100th episode but oh well it's the 109th.
Rachel sat down with me and we recorded a brief episode. In the episode I debunk the myth that Rachel and I are Israeli, I remind the audience that Rachel said the N word on my podcast, and also toward the end of the episode Rachel gaslights me like a bad person.
Nate Bennett returns to Storytime with Dave and we talk about philosophy and comedy and what we are reading, all that good stuff. There have only been 2 Nate episodes so far but me and this guy make quality podcasts so he'll be a regularly recurring guest. We had to cut this one short to get to an open mic on time, but you gotta leave the people wanting more we understand that.
This is the last episode I'm doing outside I promise. Too much ambient sound, really annoying. Anyway, on this episode I had Brandon join me to discuss getting banned from social media platforms. Trolling is something that him and I have in common. We have different approaches...but we deal with the same issues nonetheless.
Marcus and I met up at a gazebo in a park by my house and we talked about comedy and acting and other random stuff, enjoy!
On this episode I discuss my lifetime twitter ban with Shane and we mostly discuss social media censorship and comedy.
On this episode Nate and I discuss some philosophical stuff and we had a really good conversation mostly about Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Plenty of funny moments, and I also coined the term faggofication so this was a pretty big day for me.
Anthony Quinn enjoys a good conspiracy theory, as I think all of us do. I love learning about some of this shit it's wild. This episode was all over the place, but I think it serves as a good introductory episode for future episodes I'm gonna have with Quinn where we get into more specifics about particular theories.
I start this episode by trashing Taylor Swift and then I discuss Dave Chappelle's new special, which was awesome. I take a look at a few garbage takes on the special from garbage journalists who write for garbage publications (Slate and Vice).
On this episode I invited my buddy Vic Cedeno on the podcast, we have been doing comedy together a couple years and he is a great dude. We discussed a lot of different stuff, this was all over the place but he taught me about perhaps the most hilarious holiday of all, Black Pete. The beginning of the episode focuses a bit on politics and then the second half is comedy talk.
This episode is basically just an apology to everyone I ridiculed for sharing news about the Amazon forest fires. I now realize how truly vital your contribution was, please listen and offer your forgiveness.
I'm currently in the midst of my Twitter ban and so I just basically did what I would do on Twitter in the form of a podcast. A lot of ranting, you've been warned.
On this episode I discuss a discrepancy I had with one of Gary Gulman's comedy tips and offer my counter-argument. I also briefly discuss hate speech at the end of the episode.
In this episode I talk about Road to Wigan Pier which is a George Orwell book. I focus less on the actual content of the book and more on some of the strategies he uses in his writing that I find pretty interesting.
In this episode I talk about the root of my very negative view of politicians as a whole and some of the philosophy behind that. I also describe how Andrew Yang kinda let me down and how the fakeness of politics is so pervasive.
In this episode I read passages from The War of Art which is a really amazing book by Steven Pressfield which I highly recommend!
On this episode I describe the Ubermensch which is a thing Nietzsche talks about in his philosophy and I think it's really interesting!
On this episode I discuss Jeffrey Epstein's "suicide" and also the media and why they bother me so much.
On this episode I am joined by Jason Scott and we talk about how he's very gay and also crystal meth and comedy!
On this episode I talk about how hard Taylor Swift has it compared to privileged White Cisgender Men(aces). I go on to talk about privilege in general and moral superiority games that people really enjoy playing seemingly.
On this episode I discuss a really cool thing I learned reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche that I may have already explained in an older episode but I don't think I did but even if I did I think this episode I did a better job explaining the idea so listen anyway!
I think this is a very good episode and I hope you listen. I talk about one of the story structures in Naruto (his relationship with the Nine Tail Fox) and how that relates to Carl Jung's Shadow theory. That all is then related to my stage character and also at the end I talk about South Park's influence on what I've been doing lately, particularly Cartman.
On this episode I talk about some of the things I was thinking about with regards to the two recent mass shootings. I have no answers if that's what you are looking for, but there are some questions that interest me.
My sister Rachel returns to the podcast and I continue to learn things about her that I wish I never would.
On this episode Shane and I discuss some of the news in our comedy scene and we get into a lot of the arbitrary comedy rules we have come across and our take on them. We also discuss the political climate briefly and how annoying people are.
I'm not an asshole in this episode, just talking about why I think people get offended seemingly very easily and my theory about it.
On this episode I discuss my experience in Boston at the World Series of Comedy and some of the things that I learned throughout the week. Big discoveries.
Shafi and I met up in Boston a few days ago and had a really good comedy talk. He is one of the hardest working comics I know and probably the nicest one as well. Enjoy the episode!
On this episode I discuss some new comedy theories I am discovering. I think I'm onto something pretty big time...
This was my second appearance on the Big Barry Podcast, usually we double release our episodes so I put it on my podcast as well. On this episode we talked about comedy and also I try to make Sean less woke but it doesn't really work and then I try to explain how Louis CK didn't do anything wrong but that didn't really work either (even tho he didn't do anything wrong!).
On this episode I talk about the latest comedy "controversy" and once again discuss the perils of being a fake comedian.
I invited my buddy Shane McMurdo on the podcast to talk comedy. He's an up and coming comic in the North NJ / Hudson Valley area and he's become one of my favorites to watch. Enjoy!
This episode is a doozy. I start by discussing females in comedy and also fake comedians who aren't actual comedians. From there I go into the Louie controversy, which I am regretful that it still is talked about the way people talk about it, and then I also touch on a few other controversial things. If you are the type of person who is easily worked up over words you don't like, you will want to skip this episode!
I was about to sit down and write some jokes but I had no inspiration, I decided to record a podcast to see if I could spark anything in my brain. I went through the joke graveyard and shit on some old bits that I am embarrassed for having written. I also discuss how my stereotypical black voice is the podcast equivalent of black face. Oh and Ilhan Omar hates Jews!!
My sister is a piece of work. In this episode we try to explore the enigmatic phenomenon that is: Rachel Namery.
On this episode I discuss some of the new ideas that were submitted by listeners via my instagram: Dnamery. Topics were all over the place this time everything from Bombing on Stage to Income Inequality to Obama Deepfakes where he denies the Holocaust. All that fun stuff you know?
This is the second installment of Controversial Topics I got from my listeners. Although this batch was far less controversial but I did my best to try to bother as many people as possible. I discuss the Marijuana Epidemic, the Gender Pay Gap, and several other topics. I also officially pitched my first product which is a tiny vacuum for period blood which will be released by Dyson the year 2027 so we are very excited!
For this episode I asked for some audience participation in the form of providing me with controversial rant topics. I then ranted about the topics and recorded those rants which leaves us with this action-packed episode which will (hopefully) get me canceled! I cover ICE raids, Abortions, Bill Clinton as a Rapist (maybe), the Little Mermaid, and more!
Here are the links to the articles I referenced:
Abortion: https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/7/1/18638649/abortion-pill-internet-misoprostol-mifepristone
Not Getting Pregnant: https://www.zavamed.com/uk/types-of-contraceptives.html
Bill Clinton: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Clinton_sexual_misconduct_allegations
Made Up Pronouns: https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/gender-neutral-pronouns
This is a new segment of the show that I'm testing out where I go back to old shitty jokes in my joke graveyard and tell them to you guys and then explain why they are so bad. I have no shortage of horrible jokes, there are hundreds in my phone. I feel like through this exercise maybe we can all get a little bit funnier by exploring what makes something not even remotely funny.
The primary focus of this episode was probably fetal alcohol syndrome and how it relates to Hey Arnold and my sister. We also explored some of the aspects of male superiority and its undeniability. Finally, we heap praise on our hero, Heroism Couragebravery, otherwise known as AOC.
Trolling on the Internet has become a major passion of mine and it's something I think we all should be doing. The most important part of trolling is that you are having fun. On this episode I discuss some principles of trolling, some strategies which have led to success, and some of my favorite trolling moments.
In this episode I went down a series of rabbit holes. I was inspired to record after watching the democratic primary debate. So I discuss politics and certain political issues like gun control and the gender pay gap and all this dumb shit. Then eventually that led down a rabbit hole about the Holocaust and Soviet Russia. So if you don't like politics or history, this episode is probably not for you, so just scroll down and listen to a different one!
On this episode I sit down with the Westchester Bozo himself (one of two), Sean Barry. We talked about sports and comedy and some of the things that drew us toward stand up. To be clear, this was Big Barry Podcast (go subscribe) Sean Barry, not Two Mic Minimum Sean Barry. I only have beef with the latter version of Sean.
On this episode I am joined by my co-host Nicole Halsey who is also my unethical girlfriend. We talk about comedy, motivational speakers, politics (briefly), and some other stuff and it was a really good time. Enjoy!
I cannot stress enough the fact that I do not engage in sarcasm. I have never done so, despite the fact that on this episode my sister, my own sister, accuses me of just that. Unethical. Bigotry. Xenophobism. On this episode I discuss Rape Culture and the fact that all men are guilty and evil except for me!
Please keep in mind that this is not sarcasm. I am not a sarcastic person, and thus do not engage in that type of behavior. It goes against God.
A while ago I went and saw Louis CK live. It was a deeply traumatizing experience and coming to terms with it has been one of my life's greatest challenges.
Today I woke up feeling not so great, largely because my parents are now getting on my case about finding a new 9-5 job. I knew this would happen eventually so it doesn't surprise me, but what does surprise me is how I've managed to really squander all of the motivation and excitement I had after leaving my last job. I'm trying to rekindle that spark of enthusiasm and make things get better.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky is the man. In this episode I give a brief intro of his writing style and then go over a passage from his book 'Notes From Underground' and I'll be doing episodes on a few other passages from the book going forward. This one is about how we will lash out at people for no real reason other than that it makes us feel a little better. Even if that person has nothing to do with why we are mad in the first place.
Lately I've realized that at the point I'm at in comedy, one of the most important things I can do is take my good jokes and make them into great jokes. On this episode I discuss that and some of the things I've done over the past 4 years which have led to this point.
Sean Barry and Peter Clark-Deutsch, the Westchester Woke Boys, have launched an assault on my beloved Olive's Open Mic. They didn't think shots would be fired back, but they underestimated who they were dealing with. They started a full blown beef, this is my official response.
I've been learning a lot lately and making a lot of big decisions such as quitting my stable 9-5 job. Things have developed to the point where I feel like a new update is in order. I'm definitely in a good place and figuring out how to use my time in a way where I'll achieve what I'm trying to achieve. I haven't done the best job of keeping you guys up to date with this since I know a lot of people wanna take a similar risk. I'll be updating this process every few episodes to let you all know how it's going!
For the first time ever, my wonderful girlfriend Nicole Halsey is featured on the podcast! We had a really fun conversation, we discussed a lot of different stuff and it was very funny. We recorded it outside on her porch so there are noises associated like birds and cars driving by...just deal with it, the episode came out really good.
In this episode I speak briefly about my Milk Crate Comedy experience and also tell the story of the first time I had fruits and vegetables thrown at me at a comedy show. The second half of the episode I talk about why I think maybe we should value modesty a littttleee bit less as a society and value honesty a little bit more.
This episode is an adventure. I talk about some unforeseen consequences with regards to car breathalyzers, the welfare state, and communism. I also start to describe why communism sucks so hard, which I will expand upon in future episodes. Finally, I share a story about our greatest president, Abraham!
I made myself a sick boy with my bad behavior. That's why I didn't come out with a new episode for like a week. But we're back, here I talk about some updates and some feelings.
I was reading Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl earlier and I read a series of passages that I needed to share with you guys. So amazing. Frankl was a survivor of the holocaust and in these passages he describes what it was like finally being liberated after years in a concentration camp. It's not exactly as you might imagine it, I found it so interesting that it inspired me to make an episode about it.
In this episode I attempt to give a book review of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck which devolves into kind of a rant against Eastern Philosophy. Not that I think it's bad, but it's just not for me. And this book draws on a lot of Eastern philosophical ideas as well as Stoicism. Basically what I took away is that Not Giving a Fuck might not be the best thing for me, I don't know about you. 3 stars
This episode is pretty different from any I've done before. In the past 5 months or so I've lost more weight than I ever have before. I talk about the process which has led to that, going all the way back to when I was a youngster around age 13 when I first became chubby. I also had really messed up teeth, thus: Husky Bucktooth. This is really a whole journey from when I was young until now the role that my weight has played. Then at around 44:00 minutes I talk about the strategies that I've been using that have been working and hopefully you might find some of that advice useful!
This episode is titled 'In The Zone' but it should probably be titled 'Straight Fire' that might be more accurate. I discuss the state of being in the zone and a strategy I've been thinking about to increase the likelihood of getting in the zone. Then I also briefly discuss Productive Procrastination which is a practice I'm trying to master and that I think is really useful.
In this episode, number 51, I discuss some thoughts I had after a night of poker with friends. I cover the Importance of The Comma, the benefits I've been experiencing from not drinking, and a few other things.
A new episode edited by Steve! I sent this one his way a few weeks ago but we put it on the back burner in order to focus on Yakuza Chronicles. It's time to take a bit of a break from that series and explore some new stories, like this one focusing on the exciting and unpredictable day in the life of a master pet detective.
I haven't been having the best week, but on this episode I'm trying to work through it a bit. Put some words to the feelings you dig? This one is mostly about comedy and some thoughts that I was having. Basically humbling myself I suppose, realizing I'm not doing enough and that I need to tear it all down and rebuild. Again. But I knew that was going to be required! Still is difficult when it happens.
This is a self reflection episode where I talk about my decision to quit my job and the factors that went into it. So this is the first Decision Journal I've made, basically that's when you make a big decision and you write down why you did it, then later on you revisit it and see if it was the right move or the wrong move and why. Also I discuss some of the anxiety I've been feeling. Kind of like some self therapy, perhaps some of you are experiencing similar feelings.
This episode of Stories For The People features a Story From The Person: Garrett Nygren. Garrett delivers once again with a terrific prompt, "A Lie Gone Horribly Wrong." And it certainly is a story about a lie which ends up going horribly wrong. All I will say is that it involves a penis and the Burj Khalifa. Enjoy.
In this installment of Stories For The People, I read a Story For The Person: Louis Petrocelli. Have you ever worked with someone and you think they are just the best? I mean you think they are the bees knees. So you decide to hang out with them outside work and it turns out maybe they aren't that great after all. This is a story about that.
The latest installment of the Yakuza Chronicles is more action packed than any before. What doesn't this episode have? Betrayal? Got it. Fight scenes? Got it. More betrayal? Got it. Cliff hanger ending? You know we got it. Steve knocked it out of the park. I just keep delivering, it's really a spectacle.
In this edition of Stories For The People, dedicated to my friend Rob Pfister, I really outdid myself. Not only is the story amazing, but my reading of it is top notch. Here's the story of my first weekend alone with my infant son. There is breast feeding and transphobia!
Here's a series of sound checks while I was messing around with my new microphone which is DOPE but they came out kinda funny so I was like okay hey more content why not throw it out there here you go!
In the latest episode of Stories For The People (submitted by Aaron Levine) it's been 3 years since the war. The children have completely taken over, and the only candy that remains is hard candy that no one really likes. Except for Heinrich and I, we possess 60 of the last 200 starbursts. But the children draw closer....
Are you ready to know the truth? What you always thought you knew about the Westborough Baptist Church is about to be flipped on his head. Another installment of Stories For The People, this was submitted by Vic Cedeno, good thing I was able to create something amazing out of his lackluster story prompt.
You are the caterpillar. You seek greatness; the butterfly. Yet you fear your destiny. This is a fable, it should probably be turned into a children's book. It's another installment of Stories For The People, submitted by Aaron Landis.
In this latest installment of Stories for The People, I discuss the trials and tribulations of a clairvoyant caveman who is sick and tired of politicians like Groog who just tell the people what they want to hear. We gain some insight regarding the frustration of early man in terms of governance.
In history, masses of men have come and gone without making any remarkable impact on those around them. Even fewer Boogers have had such an impact. But this Booger is far from ordinary, and though he was the victim of an unspeakable tragedy, still he was able to find meaning in the suffering. Submitted by Nicole Halsey.
Few could even comprehend the power beneath Mr. Bambam's hat. When that power revealed itself it was so compelling it gave birth to a new religion which would reign supreme for thousands of years to come. Submitted by Alex Wright.
Did you ever wonder what the truth behind the pornstar murders of 1793 might be? Well, wonder no more. I have discovered what was behind it once and for all, and I'll have you know it involves Ron Jeremy (The Immortal), his penis, and aliens. Story submitted by Jared Rosado.
What if I told you lunch was invented by bad actors to keep down the common folk? The discoveries I made over the last two days may disturb you, but this is information you need to know...
As far as religion replacements go, I can't think of a worse one than politics, but it appears to be the choice many people have made. I also talk about how we are all assholes and fixing all of that may seem overwhelming, but we should focus on one asshole piece at a time.
This episode features the legend himself: Dick Cheney, inspired by a prompt sent to me by my buddy Rob Pfister. This one has trumpet drama and a rhythmic Jew.
In this episode I reflect on some of the thoughts I was having after participating in a little comedy competition.
These are just some things I was thinking about on a Tuesday. Things such as people who are inspirational on social media but they don't actually do anything other than being inspirational. Also I discuss tectonic plates and the tsunami that's gonna hit the Northwest US someday but we don't know when (Jeselnik and Rogan brought this to my attention). Oh and religion replacements! Yayyyyyy
The latest installment of the Yakuza Chronicles: Escape from Venmo Tower part 2! The stakes couldn't be higher as Dave and his companion Kate make their way through the treacherous and unethical Venmo headquarters. In order to take down the horrible and unethical Venmo they must reach the Chancellor and take him down...will they make it?
First I talk about Zen and the art of Trolling, providing an example to expand upon the phrase I coined: Zentrolling. Then we get into the Stories For The People, featuring prompts from Garrett Nygren and Reena Ezra! Great stories, great podcast, love it!
This is the first installment of: Stories For The People, which is where I get story ideas from listeners and then write short stories and put them on the podcast. This first episode features contributions from Aaron Levine, Marie Catalfamo, and Stav Jebus.
In this episode, our hero (me) finds himself trapped in Venmo Tower by the most unethical company of all (Venmo). This story serves as an exposition for what will become an epic takedown of Venmo. We used the beat from Fu-gee-la by The Fugees so don't get mad and sue me.
This is perhaps the last installment of the Ralph Waldo Emerson series and one of the most important. In this episode we see the necessity of breaking the chain which binds you to your past self in order to become the person you can be.
In this episode we learn of the heroics of a white person unlike the rest....a white hero!
In this episode we hear one of the misadventures of an 11 year old and 9 year old brother who are able to infiltrate a piano bar thanks to ketamine.
Exploring other weaknesses of conformity and having someone else determine what your opinions are.
This episode focuses on the idea of nonconformity and also why making yourself better is a more effective way to change the world than just caring about things.
Continuing the journey through Self Reliance aka the most baller essay I've ever read. This episode focuses on why it's so important to not want what someone else has but to create something that is you. Something that can never be duplicated. For some reason the audio is a bit quieter, I'll figure it out but for now just bear with me.
Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson is one of the best essays ever and has taught me so much. It is a little hard to grasp...this is the first installment of me trying to go through it and make sense of it. The first 5 minutes is rambling, but stick around and we get philosophical in this piece.
This is an older one that I moved here from Soundcloud. Starts with a couple short stories, the last half is an epic tale; the story of when I execute the greatest and most justified teabag of all time while playing Battlefield 1. Enjoy.
Every time I think my dealings with the Yakuza are done, something new springs up. Here is the story of a recent encounter with some Japanese thugs on my way to work. This is the first installment of the newest Story Time With Dave mini-series: The Yakuza Chronicles.
Here is my first attempt at high philosophy. It's harder than I thought. In this episode we take a look at Thomas Hobbes, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, and John Locke.
This episode is NOT a story just so you know. These are some general updates about what we have in the works, throwing out some ideas for feedback and giving some background info on an upcoming project I have. Also I give a few updates regarding the Yakuza Chronicles. I thought this was going to be 2 episodes but I realized I can just put it together into 1.
This is a fascinating story about a feud between brothers, one of whom is the most diabolical and prolific Wet Willy artist of all time. Watch as a seemingly innocent prank completely tears a family apart. You think wet Willies are a game? Think again.
In this episode I read a series of story-prompt stories and Steve edited them nicely and I think you'll enjoy.
This episode is ridiculous and hilarious, me and Steve really brought the noise on this one 5 stars honestly.
This is an epic story of adventure, friendship, betrayal, and growth. You gotta hear this one.
On this episode I discover one of the greatest phrases of all time by accident: Yachts queen. This is a high episode. A short one too. Enjoy!
On this episode I reflect on last weekend and why I felt like such a piece of garbage. Why do I love people as soon as everyone gets mad at them? Like the Trevor Noah situation. My annoying sister blows up my spot mid-episode. Woke white comedians who are afraid to say anything. I attempt to read a story but not really into it. Then I describe a creative endeavor I've been working on.
I've been feeling so many positive vibes lately, on this episode I discuss my new mindset. Like a damn motivational speaker. And then things trail off and get weird and who even really knows what's going on.
Andrew Steiner is one of my good comedy friends, he is perhaps the most unique person I know. We had been having a lot of very good conversations at open mics so we decided to record something and it came out really great! It was a super fun time I hope you enjoy it.