Lotsa Pasta: Recent Episodes
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The Lotsa Pasta podcast is a horror storytelling podcast that speaks to all things that go bump in the night. Reading sources from CreepyPasta, NoSleep, Unsettling Stories, Not Hot but Spicy, Stories to Read Alone at Night, and so many more. Join our colorful cast of characters as we dive into the unlimited world of creepy online fiction and scary stories.
Don’t make me turn this car around, kids… we’ve still got some ways to go. Where are we going? I’m not quite sure, yet. We’ll figure out when we get there, and I promise the answer is DEFINITELY not ‘the friends we made along the way.’ If that were the case, we’d be kinda screwed, right? Lest we ignore the literal Nazis, the Neo-Nazis, Black Jesus, Drug Addicts, Uncle Adolf, and maniacs we’ve met along the way… And today, we see the culmination of several more narratives. What of The Watchers and the Old Crone? What of Ben (that I appropriately call BRAD for more than half of the episode before realizing his name is actually BEN) and what of Karen? Important conversations are had. Trust is made and broken, sometimes even in the same sentence! And, last but not least, we have WhereAmI? Reading more graphic sexual acts. This is what you’re here for, after all. No need to hide from it. Embrace it, child - you’ve come this far. There’s no going back now. The story is told. The words are heard. The door is open. Be it Q or be it Mother, something is waiting on the other side.
The Interface Series AKA Mother Horse Eyes P4 (28:11)
By _9MOTHER9HORSE9EYES9
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Grab my things, child - we’re hitting the road. And by hitting the road I mean, we’re going places. You + Me = Going Places, kid! The places we’re going, you ask? Nowhere good. No, that’s literally what it’s called, “Nowhere Good, PA.” Cause everyone knows only creepy shit happens in Pennsylvania (it’s where this is recorded, after all). On today’s episode we see the end of some controversial narratives and welcome some more new ones; What more need be said. It’s a real “out of the frying pan, into the fire” kinda story. And by that I mean, “out of the holocaust camp in Treblenka and into the casual racist bigotry of California.” One of those things is definitely worse than the other but that doesn’t make the other one “good” by any stretch of imagination. And what a stretch this episode is! We’re seeing the PAST, PRESENT, and FUTURE all in one go and it’s all so very… confusing? Kind of? I mean, it is, but I’m writing this in hindsight and it’s not as confusing now! (Yay) Well. The good thing is, this officially marks the halfway point of the series. Will we get answers? Yes. Just… not anytime soon. Listen up, now, Mother’s calling and she HATES to repeat herself.
The Interface Series AKA Mother Horse Eyes P3 (27:20)
By _9MOTHER9HORSE9EYES9
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Have we learned anything today, kids? No? What do you mean NO? Listen to MOTHER, y’all - she’s trying to speak to you! You just have to open yourself up to her …And do a TON of LSD. What could POSSIBLY go wrong? The correct answer is thus: Yes, we’ve learned a lot, whether we liked it or not. When we read chapters 1-20(plus author asides) we laid down the building blocks to which this story will get increasingly strange, morbid, violent, and strange AGAIN; I mean BOTH versions. Here’s the takeaway: You can’t trust the system (MAN). Part One AND Two are all about the context and exposition, which is important because characters come and go so fast within their own little narratives in Parts Three through Five (spoilers!). This is a world a lot like our own with events a lot like our own but something is different. Are we tapping into some else-worlds, alternative universe shit? Are we redoing history and changing some key moments to get us here? It’s almost like I have to do homework just to talk about it (I did) cause it’s a lot to keep track of! Luckily, we do a short recap every episode. If you ever want to NOT listen to the recap, the timestamp is linked below for you to skip ahead. Important characters get introduced today, so pay attention! The future may depend on it…
The Interface Series AKA Mother Horse Eyes P2 (37:59)
By _9MOTHER9HORSE9EYES9
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Come unto these Yellow Sands, indeed, my children. And by come I mean cum cause we’re gonna be talking magical space pussies, LSD binges, and Japanese train videos on today’s episode. And who is that with me? You know him, you love him, okay, maybe you only tolerate him: it’s WhereAmi? And needless to say, neither of us know where the hell we are. There’s a lot of theories going around right now that he does actually know where he is and I’m here today to start a FIVE part series with him to disprove this casual assumption. The Interface Series, or -what it’s more commonly called- The Mother Horse Eyes series, is an experimental narrative exporting itself as nonlinear storytelling across all of Reddit. It’s a little hard to grasp at first, as there is a learning curve with most things building their own dedicated multi-layered head-canon, but once you start to understand the concepts and narratives it really does come together to form one great, big, beautiful fucked up picture. Join my partner and I on this series as we discover what it means and what it doesn’t mean, what it causes and prevents, and maybe -just maybe- we can figure out if we really are in the worst timeline imaginable. Mother is calling, y’all. Do we dare hear her out? Nay, do we dare listen?
The Interface Series AKA Mother Horse Eyes P1 (22:22)
By _9MOTHER9HORSE9EYES9
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I loved all these stories today. Man, what an episode. Is every episode with Kitty AKA Torus Filth a gold standard? Why, yes, yes they are: CAN CONFIRM. My #1 FAN brings the energy and the stories match it. We’re here for a classic episode where we find a bunch of random stories on NoSleep and we dive in balls-deep. But that’s not all, this episode is also dedicated to the lovely fur babies we lost this year: Lucy, Daisy, and Kali-Ma. Some were taken too soon, others were taken when they needed to, but neither makes it easier. Life can move on a dime and we don’t know until the dime itself drops. Hold your little pups, cats, and critters, y’all. This episode is dedicated to them and the love and solace they provide us. RIP <3
If You’re Armed and at the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me (25:30) by Sarcasonomicon
If You Ever Find Yourself Handling Blue Dollars, It Might Already Be Too Late (58:09) by M59Gar
Kitten (1:21:17) by mmartinv
It was a Different Time (1:56:03) by Cymoril_Melnibone
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Let me guess… You expected someone or something else for 4/20? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint because it was ALWAYS going to be SKELLYBONES and it was ALWAYS going to be BOOSEGUMPS - so gather up your britches, bitches, cause we going to bump tonight. And by bump, I mean goose, because on today’s episode we’re getting more terrified than the terrifier. We be visiting TERROR TOWER. You know, I thought this place looked familiar, but now that I’m sitting here with SkellyBones, I’m thinking we’ve been here before. Yeah, I might’ve lived in a couple Terror Towers in my day, if ya know what I mean? Oh, you don’t? Well, that’s too damn bad - cause we’re gonna tell you anyways.
A Night in Terror Tower - Goosebumps #27 (15:41) by R.L. Stine
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Does this story dare go to places and say things I’d never think I’d hear Tenron say before? Yes, yes it will. Like an addict who fixes for his next dose, I’m waiting on Patty B’s next cigarette to help me push through. If only I could get that DAMN CIGARETTE. Anyways, Tenron Otrin and I are back to finish Patricia Barnes’ story about being a hitman for ghosts. Did it go where I wanted it or expected it to? Kinda. Did it leave a weird kinda open end? Also kinda, but that would be spoilers. Just like Patty B always says, “You can’t have your desert, if you can’t eat your meat.” What a gal.
I have an unusual job. The pay is good, but I hate the moaning sounds that go with it. (16:02) by ByfelsDisciple
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/b3q2xl/i_have_an_unusual_job_the_pay_is_good_but_i/
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I know what you’re thinking. We could all use a lady like Patty B in our lives. Oh, you’re not thinking that? Well, it’s probably just because you haven’t met her yet. Let me introduce you to two people: One you know, One you don’t. The one you know: Tenron Otrin, here to join me on this special 2-parter with -the one you don’t know- Patricia Barnes AKA Hitman for Ghosts! She’s the revenging revenger who ever revenged, and -best of all- she’s getting paid for it! No one wants to work for free, except for maybe the people in power - so let’s find some power and see what the ghosts wanna do with it! Light up a cigarette or 5, folks, you’re gonna need em.
I have an unusual job. The pay is good, but I hate the moaning sounds that go with it. (33:03) by ByfelsDisciple
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/b3q2xl/i_have_an_unusual_job_the_pay_is_good_but_i/
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Valentine’s day might be behind us, but there’s still some love to spread around to my hot females, as Sofa King would say. This one is dedicated to my favorite female co-host in the world, Cannibal Siren, and what better way to celebrate than by reading a middling to generic YA story together. I don’t know what else to tell you. I don’t vet this shit! It’s got spunk, it’s got girl power, it’s got girl bossing, it’s got a bunch of other stuff that’s been played out and Mary-Sued into oblivion. The Stranger Things here -pun intended- are that we didn’t HATE it, we just didn’t LOVE it either. It’s been a while since we’ve read something MEH together, so if it’s gonna be MEH, there’s no one else I’d rather MEH with. Cannibal Siren, you’re the only Girl Boss with Girl Power I need for this show - and that’s the truth.
All the Women in my Family Die at the Age of 27 (50:17) by HerCreation
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/gyb0dz/all_of_the_women_in_my_family_die_at_age_27_i/
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
We love our fans. What isn’t to like about them? They’re slightly autistic. They appreciate our sense of humor and spook. They’re along for the ride. And, most importantly, they send us KILLER stories like today’s treat brought to us by Patreon Subscriber HAL. Fuck yeah, dude. First off, thank you for the sandwich - it goes without saying. Second off, what a recommendation for today! We might not be drunk, but this story makes me want to be. What an introduction to this author too! WHOO-EE. This one hits like a pound of bricks to the nether region. I’m happy Deputy Dewey was here along for the ride with me, because I don’t think someone like Django Phillips would’ve appreciated being DOGSCAPED again. Is that a think I can say? Dogscaped? Well, I did and we do. This might as well be DRUNKscape. Let’s do some shots. reloads shotgun
Drunk Tank (32:33) by EmpyrealInvective from Creepypasta
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Drunk_Tank
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
What d’ya get when you mix 3 dozen eggs, 2 spooky boys, and a little dented-headed fuck named David? BULLSHIT, that’s what (gottem). Dear David was brought to you by a ghost-lover named Glitch Blob who wanted to get spooky on a Sunday afternoon instead of playing Phasmophobia for the 9 millionth time. Who can blame him? With Captain Death at the wheel, you know Glitch is standing on the side of the road showing some leg, holding up a spooky little fucking baby, rocking him back and forth and telling him that he DEFINITELY won’t drop him again. Brought to you by Adam Ellis and Buzzfeed’s post-mortem department, we’re definitely not just filming this for the clout (it’s 9 years old after all). We’re reading this because Glitch has been asking for FOREVER and it’s ABOUT DAMN TIME we got into it. Let’s talk ghosts. Let’s talk spooks. Let’s talk what it means to be the most memorable and interesting artifact still existing on twitter.
Dear David(54:36) by Adam Ellis from Twitter
https://wakelet.com/wake/e6275d03-7bce-4789-9961-f3a04723cc71
IF YOU LIKE THIS EPISODE, JOIN US FOR MORE Spooky Splashes(tm) between myself and Glitch Blob COMING SOON, EXCLUSIVELY TO PATREON!!
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
What happens when we trap Mark Rooster in a room and force him to talk about movies for 3 hours? OH, YOU THINK YOU KNOW? WELL, JOKES ON YOU. I HAD SOMEONE HELP ME THIS TIME! It’s Deputy Dewey! Mark didn’t even see it coming. Even though I called him, and asked him, and this happened at his house and everything - there was no way. 2025 was such a great year for movies and for horror as a genre in general, so let’s travel down memory lane and go beat for beat and punch for punch with all we deem beautiful and glorifying vs those we dare not speak about ever again except for ad nauseum in this very episode until Mark told us to leave and not come back (til next year, of course). I know there’s a lot of stuff we didn’t watch but if you think something is worth my gaze, leave a comment!
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Let’s start the year off in a new way, yeah? New Year, New Me - right? When I thought about reviewing Halloween Horror Nights all these years I had one constant thought - what if I used my own footage? Well, yeah, I do that here, but I can’t record in the houses themselves, though, so what do we think next? Ah yes, use other channels’ footage and give them ample credits and shoutouts. Yes, thank you other channels noted here (ATTRACTIONS MAGAZINE and ATTRACTIONS 360). You’ve made it possible for me to talk to people about something I love SO MUCH. Here, dear audience, we literally get to walk through this together. I will comment and provide my opinion and you will be along for every step of the way. I loved doing this, so I hope people enjoy watching it. I don’t know those who are listening only, however…
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories?
I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.
I want to thank all the guests on today’s episodes for being some of the reasons that I keep doing this. Kitty, first off, for being the biggest and bestest fan anyone can ask for. I’m glad she found us as she’s genuinely made an impact on me over the course of this show. You’ll always be our #1 fan. And then Deputy and Cannibal for being some of the most gratifying cohosts anyone could ask for. I am always going to be thankful for your involvement in my life and I know I can count on either of you to help keep this train running for however long it be chugging for. I love you guys. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART SIX of SIX, y’all.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Happy Borthday by Torus Filth (4:00)
Latent Heat by Torus Filth (33:09)
Toxic Fan Sells Lotsa Pasta by Torus Filth (1:17:58)
The Promotion by Captain Death (1:33:54)
Unit 76 by Captain Death (4:19:04)
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It was a simple premise… What if WE wrote our own stories?
I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are? So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.
I want to thank all the guests on today’s episodes for being a bunch of real gents. Ramses, first off, for sharing his wonderful fucking story with me and for being so fucking humble about how amazing it is. And then Mark and Royale for just sitting with me and letting me read to them and for being willing to talk to me about it with them afterwards. I am so utterly grateful for your involvement in my life and appreciate the crap out of y’all for joining me on this. I love you guys. Thank you for being a part of this with me. This is PART FIVE of SIX, y’all. I’M GONNA CLIMAX.
There is a Machine by Ramses Vanderslice (6:13)
Smarter Than You Think by Captain Death (42.21)
I Can Smell It by Captain Death (2:23:34)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories?
I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.
I want to thank both of my guests on today’s episode for being a couple of fucking overachievers. Who would’ve thought that two of my closest friends would have contributed more than I could have ever possibly imagined? I didn’t! I ask you to write five pages? Cool. You write over ten? Even cooler. You write over twenty? Now, we’re getting somewhere… BUT YOU BOTH WROTE OVER 30! What the actual hell? Why’d you do that? Cause you love me? Aw. Well. I love you both. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART FOUR of SIX, y’all.
I’M MOIST FROM THIS EPISODE!
Dead Light by Mr. Skellybones(18:54)
Aqua-Trash by Deputy Dewey(2:47:36)
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It was a simple premise… What if WE wrote our own stories?
I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are? So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.
I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for being the oldest and goldest of the bunch. You know who it is, the ones who’ve been around since the BEGINNING: INCEPTION like Crispy Nolan. It’s the OG of the OG - the CREAMIEST of the CROP. This show wouldn’t be here without this bunch, but you already know that, so let’s see what they got to show for all of those incredible years of experience. I love you all. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART THREE of SIX, y’all.
WE’RE GETTING WARMER!
Jump to Recipe by Django Phillips (28:15)
Journal Entries by WhereAmI? (1:15:08)
This Happens Every Night by Cannibal Siren (2:54:58)
Kin by Frowns McBoohoo (3:54:04)
The Syndicate of Shadows by Terry the Tickler (4:57:04)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories?
I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.
I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for bridging the gap between the NEW and the OLD. Some of these guys have been around for a while and it shows. When I knew the first episode was going to be all newbies and the third episode were going to be the oldies, everyone in the gray area fell into a lump. THIS IS THE LUMP IN ALL OF ITS BEAUTIFUL GRAY GLORY. I love you all. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART TWO of SIX, y’all.
LET’S RAISE THE TEMPERATURE A BIT.
Wavelength by Tenron Otrin (17:05)
Something’s Wrong with my Mom by Strawberry Shortcake (1:26:23)
The Dog by Mark Rooster (1:51:30)
Star Trek The Next Generation: The Quest for Taco Bell by Lanky Lucifer (3:18:30)
Saddam’s Cool Fanfic by Punxsutawney Trill (3:59:25)
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Thank you!
“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories?
I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.
I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for breaking us in and being a part of this from the top. This is the SACRIFICIAL grouping - the first people to dip their toe into the lava. Our newest guests, sure, but what do they have to prove? NOTHING. The vulnerability to go first was held against them and they took it in stride. Bless your souls. I love you all. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART ONE of SIX, y’all.
WE’RE JUST GETTING STARTED.
The Voice by Afternoon Groom (3:24)
High Noon by Afternoon Groom (6:48)
Tag: You’re It by Afternoon Groom (11:10)
Patience by Midnight Bride (35:51)
Did You Know About the Park? by Glitch Blob (1:12:35)
The Walking Stick by Royale w/ Cheese (2:14:57)
Bad to the Bone: The Mary Calcium Story by Sofa King (3:11:07)
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
On today’s solo episode we have a casual fan interaction and questionnaire to start things but then we get into the REAL REAL, and I’m talking R E A L with it. I don’t even want to spoil it. I barely want to put the names down but I feel I’d be doing a disservice to everyone if I didn’t source my shit so if they loved something they know what it is and its title and author. FUCK. What a dilemma. When I talked to Barbara Manatee, I knew we’d have a good time, but I didn’t know I’d have such a HARD time after(eyyo). Nah, credit where credit is due, if this solo episode is going to go down in history on Lotsa Pasta for going hard, I want to make sure I’m doing it right. Here’s the stories we’re reading today, some of the best of the best, the cream of the crop. Let’s do this.
The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe (1:08:04)
The Lottery by Shirley Jackson (1:25:55)
Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? By Joyce Carol Oates (1:52:58)
I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison (2:40:23)
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Thank you!
“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Look at us, Ramses. Here, again, reading submissions from our once-loyal fan Danny boy. And here we are, again, looking for Danny. It’s been a couple months since Halloween and we still don’t have any sign of him. Is he out there? Hopefully. Is he still sending us requests? No, not at all. Do I miss it? Maybe. It’s hard to say if you miss something until it’s gone, right? At the time, I was like, why? Why keep sending me stuff that I don’t know if we’re ever going to read? Yanno know what I mean? But now, like the effervescent sunrise to sunset, you look out into the horizon and wonder… Where the fuck is Danny? What the hell, Danny. C’mon, man. Send me a message on Facebook. Send me an email (LPCaptainDeath@gmail.com). Danny come back. Any kind of fool could see. There was something in everything you sent us. Danny come back. You can blame most of it on me. I was wrong(maybe) and I just can’t live without you(I mean, I can, but it would be funnier if you sent us more stuff).
Anna’s Gift (28:29) by Ben W. Degand
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Anna%27s_Gift
I’ve Met the Monster in my Closet (1:23:14) by F. Zaidi
https://www.creepypasta.com/i-met-the-monster-in-my-closet/
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Thank you!
“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
What’s better than the beginning of a story? The end of a story. That’s right. I got you. You didn’t see that coming. You couldn’t possibly see that coming. Maybe you did, it is the finale episode for this story after all, we’ve been talking about it for a while. Maybe you did know. Maybe you knew too much. You know what they say about people who know too much. They suck. Yeah, I said it. I got you again, you fucking know-it-all. Anyways, Cannibal Siren and I are back to finish this fucking story once and for all. This one goes out to all the mentally ill both on an off this podcast. May we eternal R.I.P. And by that I mean, rest in pieces (of weed). That’s the real kicker here, after all. If this narrator had just taken a dab none of this would’ve happened. He would’ve been too stoned to read that note in the first place; Chucking that shit out like the junk mail it is. Does this ending redeem itself? Kinda. No spoilers, but KINDA. Let’s get into it.
The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(45:36) by Polterkites
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
What a fun time we have together, Mr. SkellyBones. Let this be a chronicle of our friendship even when I’m long gone, dead and buried. Well, hopefully cremated with my ashes spread around some shitty location in Orlando, Florida that is not The Haunted Mansion found in the Magic Kingdom on Walt Disney World theme park property. Or Horrorland. If you can find it, let me rest there, if possible, cause I already live there mentally whenever I eat peanut butter now. Or whenever I watch any program with Gordon Ramsey. Anyways, we’re back to read more Goosebumps today but before that we’re going to take a brief dive into all things Attack on Titan, because the review has been a long time coming and some promises you make in Dead Space together need to be fulfilled if only to the amusement of one of us. This might be a podcast, but I’m not ALL TALK, everyone.
Goosebumps: One Day at Horrorland (1:31:36) by R.L. Stine
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“Horrorland“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. That is clearly and respectfully due to the awesome artist that is POGO and I merely mention and feature his work here to pay the greatest amount of respect and to shed whatever light I can on his talent. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
What the heck is going on in here? I mean, we keep ending up back in this basement despite all the shit going on and there is A LOT of SHIT going on. Let’s just say that this episode goes to places I never even knew possible, even considering the basement. When we’re not in the basement, who know’s where this is going. At least in the basement, we know where’s it’s going, right? WRONG. It’s going places. Other places. Not basement related places. At its best, this story provides surprises. At its worst, this story provides surprises. It’s a mixed bag, but no one knows where this is going, I assure you. Unreliable as ever, let’s get into it. Back into the basement we go.
The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(23:38) by Polterkites
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Well, this is surely a splendid evening with Mr. Heavyhands. We hold ourselves with the utmost decorum, and only the finest quality of conversation. You may say we’re gentlemen, but we claim to be normal folk, you can tell by our wit and our banter as such. We may be reading a story called Butcherface, but we’re also talking about shitting our pants and farting on the podcast. I know, I know. This is what you’re here for. Have you or a loved one ever shit your pants and tried to conceal it? Contact us at LPCaptainDeath@Gmail.com to tell us your harrowing, close-shit experiences. We’re here for it. We’re here for shit. There really isn’t that much more to say. Harold’s a funny guy, I couldn’t help but put him on the shit-seat.
BUTCHERFACE (46:41) by Dash32
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/iffgt/butcherface_part_1/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It’s part two and it’s NOT an electric boogaloo, to say the least. It’s more like an exposition boogaloo and let’s just say that the buck doesn’t stop, there. This stories is elevating itself and self-conflating itself in ways I never thought possible and on ONE hand I think I’m being too critical; Because I do really like this story and it makes me think and it tickles that part of my brain where I’m like OH DAMN, that is pretty spooky. And then there’s another side of me that says, I’m an armchair critic and my armchair is getting too old for this shit; By that I mean, we’ve seen this before and we’ve seen this done better. It’s not a good excuse, i’ll keep my liberties close and my coat racks closer… If that even matters anymore. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, if you catch the tongue-in-cheek nature of the screenshots I’ll be using for the rest of this series, I think you’ll understand where I’m coming from the most. If not, be thankful for the ride. The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(27:45) by Polterkiteshttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
On today’s episode we harken back to a simpler time, an easier time, a time of peace, a time of tranquility, a time of getting too high and reading random stories we found on the internet. This morning, join Midnight Bride, Afternoon Groom, and I for a quaint English breakfast where the only English muffin you’ll be getting are the words on this page spoken sensually to your ear-holes. Does Afternoon Groom speak sensually? You bet your butt he does. Does Midnight Bride speak sensually? You bet your front-butt she does. Do I speak sensually? TRICK QUESTION. RHETORICAL. OF COURSE I DO, HOW ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE GOTTEN ALL THE WAY TO EPISODE 292? I’ve lost the plot - Losta Pasta. Let’s figure it out together.
:D (21:44)
The Crayons (29:16)
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Crayons
The Price of Sugar (35:18)
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Price_of_Sugar by Cymoril_Melnibone
I See the Death of Everyone I Meet (53:50)
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4m0vxv/i_see_the_death_of_everyone_i_meet/ by JJX2525
Why I Didn’t Shower for 21 Years (1:11:23)
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1ja4h9/why_i_didnt_shower_for_21_years/ by Red_Grin
Grandma’s Light is Always On (1:30:47)
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/75xw3d/grandmas_light_is_always_on/ by Saint_Entropy
TUG (1:40:59)
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1zvxre/tug/ by Hall7
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It’s a new series with Cannibal Siren, folks! I know it’s what you wanted, what can I say, I know what the people want. Unfortunately, however, we’e not monster-fucking on this one. Oh, no. No, no. Not that way, at least. There is consent involved in what Cannibal Siren does. Let’s not get too far away from it, there is a monster in this one, and he’s getting close to us in all the worst ways; Non-consentually. There is so much to be said about this one, and we will say it. And you will listen. And we will say more next episode, and hopefully you’ll listen again. This is just part one of four, so let’s just say that there are a lot more steps involved, here. What is this, AA? No, not unless AA stands for anonymous antagonism. And it doesn’t.
The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(43:05) by Polterkites
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It was a cold, wintery night when Scutch MacGee stumbled through my door. He was confused, parked in the wrong driveway, and immediately remarked on how he almost got stuck in patches of ice. We greeted each other as brothers, arms wrapped in a warm embrace. We sipped on Whiskey based on his first-born’s namesake while we conversed about horror movies and shit to get excited about this upcoming year. Inevitably, a hush filled the room when he finally spoke up on what was on his mind. His kids. His kids and their ability to be startlingly spooky. He was joking, just like I’m joking now, but you look into a man’s eyes and you just know… Somethings are the truth, and they can’t be masked by humor. They’re all too apparent. Just like how he’s a parent: to some spooky kids. Anyways, then I made him read stories with me about creepy kids. LOL
I Had a Disturbing Conversation with my Seven Year Old (54:28) by samhaysom
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/fiz4d0/i_had_a_disturbing_conversation_with_my_7yearold/
I Had a Disturbing Conversation with my Neighbor’s Ten Year Old Son (1:01:11) by samhaysom
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/dp614a/i_had_a_disturbing_conversation_with_my/
My Son’s Camera Monitor Alerted in the Middle of the Night (1:14:24) by RisingMac
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/bsrmy5/my_sons_camera_monitor_alerted_in_the_middle_of/
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What happens when we trap Mark Rooster in a room and force him to talk about movies for 3 hours? Well, this episode happens. Not much more to say here, to be honest. We start with stuff I feel like I missed talking about in 2023 and then we move onto 2024, just to catch up on everything. There’s some good, there’s some bad, and there’s some indifference from both of us and not just Mark. He has opinions, and you will hear them, I promise. No stories or reading this episode, just pure unadulterated movie criticism in lightning round nature. ENJOY.
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
So you’ve survived THE CUBE er- I mean, THE SQUARE (for copyright reasons) and you think you’re home free, right? No religious allegories, no last minute judgement calls that wastes all your time, just you, me, the boys, and some open road. WRONG. SO WRONG. The BACKROOMS surround us as we find our way through a mysterious facility. Just a moment ago the space we were in was trying to kill us at almost every doorstep, now it seems to be every single hallway. Luckily, the Backrooms have taken on a life of their own and our players today might find some useful help, and JUST MAYBE they’ll survive.
Welcome to the Backrooms(14:36)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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On the Twelfth creep of Christmas, Frowns gave to me… Depression. Seasonal depression, to be exact. Yes, this is the 12th Christmas episode we’ve had in the 8 years of having done this show and I feel like we’ve simultaneously
hit the low and the bar on this one. The low because TWELVE seriously? TWELVE Christmas episodes? God damn it. The bar because this one features a story that actually creeped me out a bit. What the heck was that? Where did that come from? Well, Frowns, it just goes to show, you can still be surprised every once in a while. What I’m not surprised about, however, is Frowns getting so high that he has a laughing fit. It was edibles this year, so you’re not going to hear the bong ripping with the yuletide bellows. No, we hit this one on the DL with some hearty edibles and apparently that was too much for Frowns. OH WELL. Some things never change. Hopefully we’ll be able to stop doing these Christmas episodes soon…
Stocking Stuffers (25:12) By Whitecrow233
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Stocking_Stuffers
The Company I Work for has a Wonderful Christmas Tradition (32:39) By CreepyThomas0.
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Company_I_Work_for_Has_a_Wonderful_Christmas_Tradition
The Carolers (45:30) By MakRalston
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Carolers
If You Hear Sleigh Bells (59:57) By Ramunetan
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/If_You_Hear_Sleigh_Bells
The Naughty List (1:12:34) By RedNovaTyrant
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Naughty_List
The Strange Christmas Game (1:28:02) By Charlotte Riddell
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Strange_Christmas_Game
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What is a friend to do when the other suggests to do something against both of their better judgement? Do we give in to the based and peer accusations of what it means to be human, to be an animal with no regret? Or do we limit ourselves, our potential, and return, seamlessly to the void to live in silence? No, I mean, yeah, we read Harry Potter erotic fan-fiction on this episode. Definitely. When you come to the fork in the road to do THAT or do something else, I feel like the worse-off path is the path that doesn’t involve Harry Potter erotic fan-fiction, right? I don’t think it’s a tough call. I think it’s easier said than done, and above all else, I feel like we’re been here before. I feel a bit of… DEJA VU.
It Could Only Happen to Harry (31:30)
by HoosYourDaddy
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5446275/1/It-Could-Only-Happen-to-Harry
I Live in a Tiny Boring Town with a Famous Haunted House (1:17:57) by Spaghetti_Mercury
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/odwtco/i_live_in_a_tiny_boring_town_with_a_famous/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
What can I say about Magic that hasn’t already been said by someone either more stupid or more smart than me? I don’t know, I don’t think anyone can answer that question - So I asked WhereAmI? To come here and also not answer it - cause we gotta read a provocative story about some older dude lusting after a young “boy.” Yeah, you heard me. No, this wasn’t on purpose and no I never vet my stories before we read them and YES I refuse to accept that the author did not know what they were doing when they wrote this story and had every line out of this “kids” mouth sound like he’s wanting this old dude OP’s attention. It gets weirder and weirder or as Alex would say “Curious and Curiouser” and I kinda hate it. Anyways, enjoy this - whatever this is. I know WhereAmI? did. I guess that’s just the power of MAGIC.
I’m a Magician and I’m Pretty Sure the Kid on Stage Actually Sawed a Lady in Half(36:37) by Magpie_Quill
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/cnasz6/im_a_magician_and_im_pretty_sure_the_kid_onstage/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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It’s fun to reminisce with friends about past horrors, right? Well, this one is a bit more literal as the first thing Royale w/ Cheese wanted to talk about was Halloween Ends and that’s a past horror to me for all the wrong reasons. No, the name of the day is JASON EGAN and we’re talking his IP based escape rooms offered off the strip in Las Vegas, NV. We first did The BLAIR WITCH, then we did SAW, and finished it with IT chapters 1 and 2. All were amazing. All were gush-able. But the crown jewel rests in Area 15 - let’s talk MEOW WOLF. Maybe not. Keep the spoilers free, here. You need to go, you need to experience it yourself - just TRUST ME. GO. DO IT. But that’s all that we covered as far as our recent trip to Sin City goes. I couldn’t have this guy back for his second episode without reading SOMETHING though, right? Of course not. Let’s get classic with it! We read a classic creepy pasta, submitted by our listener and patron TrevorTheWereFishy and then we go a NoSleep story I’ve been holding onto for a while. Strap in and strap on, folks. It’s gonna be a long night! The Antiguan Giant (2:06:56) https://www.creepypasta.com/the-antiguan-giant/ Budget Cinema by Dr_VonHugenstein (2:23:09) https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/wxozd/budget_cinemaNEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH: www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioYOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwSOUNDCLOUD: www.soundcloud.com/lotsa-pasta/(But also available on all major platforms like iTunes, Spotify, Google, Amazon, etc!)FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/LPCaptainDeathFOLLOW ON REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/LotsaPasta/Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I’VE BEEN AWAY. TO A DISTANT LAND. AGAIN.
You might also say WHEREAMI? AGAIN. Cause he’s here too. We’re back in Cali, baby. We went to Disneyland again but THIS TIME we got into the OOGIE BASH and it was pretty alright! OH NO, BUT REALLY, we’re into the total again because it is our second time at Halloween Horror Nights Hollywood. I also wanted to take the time to talk about Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando FL this year, because I had attended with Alley Cat per our annual spooky trip. Lots to talk about this year, as the differences between CA and FL were many! More than I could have expected, to be frank. And I don’t want to be him. I want to be me, Captain Death - because, basically, my cousin was sponsored in CA this year at the Monstruous 2 house cause he looked like a conquistador version of Captain Death even down to the muerte title; Very cool. Always love running into family. But for real - as much shit as we talk, this year wasn’t that bad. It was just alright. And for HHN, that’s okay. Just okay. But hopefully next year has more to look forward to.
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What can I say about dead celebrities that hasn’t been said already? A lot actually. Which is why I’m not going to say anything. I’m really not. So anyways, we’re continuing the investigation we last left off with on the previous episode. I mean, we have our answers, we know where things are going, right? Maybe not literally but how could you possibly know where part three is going to end. Will our loose cannon cops play by the rules? Will they even fire their weapons at innocent minorities? Not a real story if neither of those things are happening. Vampires are real, though. I’m not budging on that one. But I am edging on it. Anyways, enjoy the rest of this story with these here boys. They had a good time, because I know they did. I made them. DUH-DUHN.
So We’re About 99% Sure the New Guy in Town is a Vampire(20:33) by TheJesseClark
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/7ipy4b/so_were_about_99_sure_the_new_guy_in_town_is_a/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What can I say about vampires that hasn’t already been said? Well, they live forever, so they have to be pretty savvy business men, right? Not what you expected me to say, either, huh? Well, it’s not what I expected to be reading with this group of jack-offs. Or should I say jack-ONS because they were on this shit like flies. By that I mean, they read and performed pretty damn well, in my opinion. It’s almost like they don’t listen to my show because they were surprised by my performance several times as well, not to toot my own horn or anything but I have been doing this for like 8 years. I kinda feel like a vampire, you know what I mean? Maybe you don’t. But you might. Anyways, what we expected was Fright Night and what we got was Law & Order. Am I complaining, not necessarily. Should I be? I’ll let you be the judge. DUH-DUHN.
So We’re About 99% Sure the New Guy in Town is a Vampire(25:45) by TheJesseClark
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/7ipy4b/so_were_about_99_sure_the_new_guy_in_town_is_a/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Everyone loves a good dog, right? I mean, if you don’t, I don’t trust you. I don’t think you deserve my trust if you don’t love a good doggo. I know someone who loves good pups: Midnight Bride. She’s got herself a good little goblin faced, Steve Buscemi of a dog. She’s a sweet lil sprinkle-bear. She can’t help that she was born with the face of a bat and the body of a chihuahua. But I digress, we’re here to talk about a couple things like young love and more importantly and often over-looked, young hate. I think we need to bring young hate back. Young hate doesn’t get enough attention despite being like the crux of a lot of good 80’s movies. There’s always like a nemesis or a bully of some kind and they always get their comeuppance, right? Well, let’s see if this story does more of the same, cause there’s a chance this can be sad. I hope this isn’t sad. I hope this is nice and fun and full of young hate. Fuck young love. What can I say, I’m Aerosmith; aka JADED.
Good Dog(24:16) by Shannon Higdon
https://www.creepypasta.com/good-dog/
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What conclusion awaits us at the end of this thrilling chapter? Something trivial that will tie everything up way too nicely despite all the questions and remaining answers and issues are directly in front of our literal fingertips, right? No, again, no inbred, redneck melon-heads. No old, garden variety homeless people. Just Grimes. Just a big old bitch of a stone statue. The possibilities have been emptied with Ramses Vanderslice on today’s episode and as we come to an end, I can’t help but think that this is just Borrasca V all over again. This one just kinda ends out of nowhere for lack of circumstantial reasons, just like my relationship with my previously mentioned ex-girlfriend. I’m not gonna say it sucks. It doesn’t suck as bad as the last one. It’s hard to think that the same person who wrote part one and also wrote parts two and three, but here we are. I’m sure part three was thought up before part two was because it just moves better and tries its damndest to answer questions left by chapter one, but like… not in a great way. If you ask me, she should’ve just stayed home or moved on with her life after part one. This didn’t need a sequel. It’s like Prometheus or Alien Covenant. The Xenomorph is scarier when it’s not explained, just like Grimes. Stop milking Grimes. Let Grimes rest.
Death of Deepwoods, PA(17:04)
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What mysteries lie in the fictional town of Lannenberg(burg?) Pennsylvania? Who knows because it doesn’t actually exist and I’m confused as to why this is a plot point when it could have just taken place in Harrisburg. No inbred, redneck melon-heads. No old, garden variety homeless people. But yes, yes, a giant demon statue made of stone and sin called Metar- I mean -GRIMBUS. The possibilities are narrowing with Ramses Vanderslice on today’s episode and as the chapters go on, my hope dwindles further, just like my previously mentioned ex-girlfriend. This one sucks, and not in the same way and not in a good way. Why does this chapter exist - ah, yes - to pad the plot of what the next part is because that was clearly thought up before this part was. Huzzah. Mystery solved. Why is our character motivated to this degree? Who knows. Trauma apparently works that way, says the author, but Trauma don’t work that way says me - but I’m not an author, I’m just some asshole online. Enjoy!
Return to Deepwoods, PA(41:50)
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What mysteries lie deep in the woods of Pennsylvania. Inbred, redneck melon-heads? Regular old, garden variety homeless people? A giant demon statue made of stone and sin? The possibilities are endless here on Lotsa Pasta with our guest Ramses Vanderslice. I know we last had a really silly Halloween but Ramses is back to get into a multi-chapter story with me this time, reminiscent of our time checking out The Showers and I do mean THE Showers and not just any old shower. Go listen to those two episodes if you don’t believe me. They’re good! This one, also good! The restraint with chapter one or The Lost Town section of Deepwoods, PA is very entertaining. Let’s just see if the author can keep it up. Sounds like something my ex girlfriend used to say. Alls well that ends well, right? WRONG - never go in the secret basement hatch inscribed with latin. NEVER. Just like my ex-girlfriend’s place.
The Lost Town of Deepwoods, PA(34:12)
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Cannibal Siren and I are on another level today. We’re operating on a whole other spectrum. An AUTISTIC spectrum. No, not really. We just got that synergy going on. Oh, I mean, SINergy. Right, cause we both full of that godly No-No. What’s more in style with the kids now-a-days, being all shitty and stupid or being reliable and respectful. That’s not a question for a reason, we know the answer. Get to it, folks. We’re here reading a couple short stories from NoSleep because we would rather spend time NOT recording with one another. This isn’t the last time we’ll see Cannibal, in fact, I hear from her every week, but it is the last time I’ll see her IRL for a while, so this was happy time to spend with her. And her cats. It was a good time.
My Sugar Daddy Asks Me for Weird Favors(48:05)
The Limping Woman(1:09:26)
My Student Submitted the Most Disturbing “Living History” Project I’ve Ever Seen(1:24:54)
Something Happened 63 Years Ago That’s Haunted Me my Entire Life. I’ve Never Told Anyone About It - Until Now(1:44:55)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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We’re back in the kingdom of HO-HOs and Lititz, PA. Yes, that’s right, the SOFA Kingdom, to be exact. This time, joined by the royal family as Sofa Queen also joins us on spectator duty while the King and I have our jolly time. That being said, these stories were random as all hell but also fun as all hell and I blame all of that on Sofa King - he’s just that kinda guy. He read through my list, he checked it twice, he found these ones to be the weirdest and I’m just along for the ride. The same way you’re along for the ride. Well, not the EXACT same, but you get my point. Buckle in - we’re going places. Are they fun places? Not really. They’re dangerous and weird. But we’re INTO that. RIGHT? Right.
10 Years as an Escort and this was Not in my Job Description(40:53)
I Found a USB Stick AKA The Long Face(1:10:29)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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I meant to sing a little song to Scutch when I saw him a couple months ago and recorded this episode but I forgot. Of course, it’s because I got too drunk and because I was too excited to talk to him about Game of Thrones and Aliens. You know, the usual. Why wouldn’t I be excited about that, Scutch is one of my favorite people on the show because of his life experience and perspective on things and talking to people about Aliens(and Game of Thrones) tells you a lot about a person; Like, for example, if they suck or not. As you know or as you’re about to see, neither myself nor Scutch MacGee suck. We’re realistic and fun and think that Game of Thrones was ruined by two directors and their egos and that aliens absolutely exist and we’re just here for it. Any aspect of it, really. We’re here for all the tall and short fuckers out there as long as they’re spying on us, keeping us in check on a galactic level, and not being overtly weird about it. That would be hella awkward. We might actually care, then. Good thing we don’t. Good thing we care MORE about how much Game of Thrones sucks than about the existence of other life forms being 100% confirmed by our government. Yeah, that checks out. Here’s some stories:
A Mist Between Blue and Grey(1:29:47)
This is Not a Place of Honor(1:41:04)
The Real Reason my Husband Shot Himself(1:55:58)
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Grandpa really puts life in perspective. Sometimes you just get caught up chasing things you don't understand and next thing you know, you're old, and broken, and telling your grandson a bunch of bullshit because your brain doesn't work right anymore and almost everyone you know is dead. Crazy. Anyways, here's some more stories! Who knows which direction they'll go. Did you understand the last episode? Did you have questions? Of course you did. Are they ever going to be answered? Of course not, because a good storyteller never shows their hand as the card players would say. They got dirty fucking hands and this detective won't stand for it. He'll sit and get lost and confused and end up regretting everything. My Grandpa, a Retired Homicide Detective, just Told Me the Case that still Keeps Him Up at Night(15:17)NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH: www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioYOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwSOUNDCLOUD: www.soundcloud.com/lotsa-pasta/(But also available on all major platforms like iTunes, Spotify, Google, Amazon, etc!)FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/LPCaptainDeathFOLLOW ON REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/LotsaPasta/Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
The Deputy is back and he killed the Sheriff himself. What more need be said? A lot, I suppose. Join us for some NIGHT SWIM and join us for some more hard-boiled cops that play by the rules. No, nothing weird about that. Totally by-the-books procedural here. Nothing out of the ordinary going on. Just regular old story-time with Grandpa. Definitely no nightmare inspiring unsolved mysteries here. Definitely nothing that’s managed to haunt this old man until his final days. Definitely no dead kids, either. Who’s asking? Really? No, seriously. Now I’m concerned. There’s nothing wrong with Grandpa OR his stories, okay? Now, tuck in for night-night, drink your glass of warm milk, and open up your butt, cause we’re coming in.
My Grandpa, a Retired Homicide Detective, just Told Me the Case that still Keeps Him Up at Night(24:34)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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So, Slappy haunted my dreams as a kid, that’s no surprise. I’ll talk about that forever. I’ll talk about how the Goosebumps TV show haunted me as a kid. That’s fine. Curse me, if you will. But maybe it is all rose-tinted shades from here on out or really, what are a couple of 30-year old men doing reading Goosebumps anyway? Are we really that far out of the recommended audience to glean anything from these narratives? Yes. Yes, I think we honestly are. Does that mean we’re going to stop reading them? Of course not. It’s too funny to stop now. Plus, Mr. Skellybones and I are having one hell of a time doing so. Just pals pallin’ around, you know. Taking a dip in the cold lake together. Skinny dipping, as it were. And let me tell you, we’re not the only boners in this lake, either. Just another reason not to send your kids away to camp, right? How many episodes revolve around this, I mean - never mind. Let’s get to it.
The Curse of Camp Cold Lake - Goosebumps #56 (21:26)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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I’m gonna make that joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, now. Well, I guess I already did, didn’t I? Christmas is supposed to be a day about getting together with the family or those close enough to be blood, and sharing some special time with each other where you don’t just sniff each others farts and lick each others assholes. I mean, if you end up doing either of those literal things, good for you, but you can do that on any other day and it’d be fine too. Christmas, as I was saying, isn’t supposed to be about a gross amount of red spidery creatures attacking the neighborhood and scaring everyone, only to get mowed down in a second act effort seamlessly. Oops. Spoilers. Merry Christmas every one, I give you the gift of not giving a fuck. What can I say? I’m still pretty drugged up since Christmas Eve.
Every Year on Christmas Eve my Parents Drug Us. I Found Out Why(13:06)
By u/catinthecupboard on r/nosleep
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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I’d make a joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, but it seems too easy. The truth is, I drug myself throughout this entire season. I can’t stand it, to be honest. The entire capitalist, competitive spirit of gift-giving mixed with overbearing debt and rising suicide rates and low mental health for the entirety of winter keeps me as dreary and bleak as the 5PM snow-blind darkness. But hey, yeah, let’s all pretend to be okay with one another and ourselves long enough to have a good holiday, yeah? At least I have my best friend by my side to read a wonderful two-parter with, right? This story is good, after all, and I’m glad we found it at the time we did - tis the season and all. What an apt title, after all.
Every Year on Christmas Eve my Parents Drug Us. I Found Out Why(42:21)
By u/catinthecupboard on r/nosleep
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BUT YOU’VE GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS. Ain’t that right people? Today’s episode introduces us to a new guest that needs a perfect introduction in an otherwise perfect little contained episode. Royale w/ Cheese wanted to get broken in on some of the King and who am I to supply him with anything but. This is the third time we’re reading King, as we’ve read The Jaunt and The Raft on two other episodes, but today we’re gonna read a couple of his shorter features off of well known collection. Royale w/ Cheese curated this episode, folks, so it really can’t be better. What a way to celebrate our SEVEN YEAR anniversary, huh? It may not look like it or even sound like it to everyone else, but the reason I chose to celebrate with Kitty aka Torus Filth earlier this month and then bring in a new player like Royale w/ Cheese is just to show how far we’ve come - these are two fans who started off as you: listeners of the show. I remember starting the show and doing the work as early as November 2016 and here we are in November of 2023 doing the LORD’S WORK, people. HAIL TO THE KING, INDEED.
Battleground(26:58)
Strawberry Spring(53:46)
The Ledge(1:24:30)
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The world is changed. I feel it in the creeps. I feel it in the pasta. I smell it in the weed. Much that once was across the fucking planet is now here, for those of us crazy enough to accept it. It began with the forging of a spooky podcast. Three close friends gathered, seeking immortality amongst the internet sovereign. Seven trolls, great trouble makers and jokesters of the caverns old. And nine or so or maybe some other number of regular ass people, I don’t know, I’ve lost count, who all else desired saving from their boredom. For within this podcast was bound some seriously listenable shit to govern the interwebs. But they were all of them deceived, for the biggest fan was waiting. Deep in the land of New Zealand, in the mountains of… well, New Zealand, the super fan Kitty aka Torus Filth forged a desire and into it poured her greatest stoner attributes and loving tendencies. One fan to rule them all.
How to Survive in Hell(35:06)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Today is a personal episode for me. I don’t share much about my personal life and I do that on purpose as to not mix what it is about performing on this show with what it means for me to live my life as myself. You see, what I do here on this program is put on a performance, much like in my life, to display that of a regular, spooky-loving dude. But really, it is much more than that. I live the spook life. I am the spook. And this extends to my girlfriend, Alley Cat. She didn’t start out my girlfriend on the show, but she became my girlfriend during the show. It’s a long story in itself and it goes back almost 19 years, so I’m not going to get into it. What I am going to get into, however, is what we do in our spare time together and where we choose to spend our time together. One of those special places to us is Halloween Horror Nights. I came up with a ranking system, and we’re going to take a nice stroll down memory lane to discuss my first time going with my brothers in 2019 to my most recent trip to Orlando in 2023 with Alley Cat. I hope you enjoy this as this is a big part of our lives together and what you see here is just a snapshot of what it means to be a part of our spooky relationship.
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What can I say, I’m sentimental. I appreciate nostalgia. I like to get back to the classics every once in a while, remind myself where we came from and what we grew out of. And that’s why we’re going to read some dumb ass, stupid ass stories on todays episode. Really get the blood flowing, you know? These are all submissions and recommendations from a listener of ours Danny, and I hope he hears this(reads this). The stories you picked for us today brought us great joy. They’re awful. Mostly. They’re mostly awful. And we loved every second of it. Thank you, Danny. Whether that was your intention or not, thank you so much. Ramses and I hope you have a happy Halloween.
Turn Me On, Dead Man(28:58)
Pass It On(44:21)
Dead Man's Mouth(57:27)
Neighbors(1:09:29)
My Music Box(1:13:50)
The Dollmaster(1:18:59)
A Small Piece of Lead(1:25:44)
The Painting(1:51:21)
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So, the Devil walks into a bar. No, that isn’t the start to a joke or anything, I’m literally telling you the Devil just walked into the bar. Fine, don’t believe me. But let me tell you, she looks hot as hell. What can I say, a fiery redhead always makes my tongue dry. And what better to whet the whistle than some whiskey. That’ll do the trick. Let’s hear what she has to say, shall we? I hope it’s interesting. I hope she’s into me. I hope we can make some nice anti-christ babies together. Wouldn’t that be something. Shit, I’m getting ahead of myself. This meet-cute has gone off the rails and we only just met. How romantic.
I Met Someone Who Claimed to be the Devil and I Think I Believe Them(18:24)
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I’VE BEEN AWAY. TO A DISTANT LAND. You might even say, WHEREAMI? No, really, you might say that, cause he is here too. Where? CALIFORNIA, BITCHES. We went to Disneyland cause he’s never been but ALSO we went to Super Nintendo World because that’s over here too. OH, NO, BUT REALLY, the thing that this episode is about - obviously. Look at the title. It was WhereAmI?’s first time going to Halloween Horror Nights and we decided California was the right place to take his cherry. You know, because of the previously mentioned birds we’re stoning. WHILE ON THE TOPIC OF STONING, holy shit. California. You’re nuts. The THC levels you guys are throwing around on the daily in your shops is fucking insane, no wonder you guys are so dumb. I took one puff of a dog walker and left the fucking planet. It brought a whole new meaning to Space Mountain. Anyways. Enjoy some rambling! No stories! Less work for me! Yay!
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Quick episode gets quick write-up intro. Tom Bongbadil was in town, I strapped him down to a chair and made him read with me. That’s it. Wanna fight about it? I wouldn’t. We read two no sleep stories this episode, and both are OKAY. Nothing ground breaking, nothing amazing, but fun to read nonetheless. OH, and the episode begins with a nostalgic breakdown of a game we play where we basically LARP. More of that in other episodes, but just wanted to recap for posterity. You know, some things I do for myself and no one else. I mean, maybe my friends too. Maybe. If they listen to this. Which they don’t. God damn it. Just listen to the episode, okay.
The Good Thomas Shea(18:46)
It isn’t satan. It isn’t monsters. It isn’t the government. It isn’t a serial killer. It isn’t aliens. It isn’t demons. It isn’t nuclear. It isn’t solar storms(47:40)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What can I say about Not Hot But Spicy forums that hasn’t been said in this episode or any of the other 7 episodes? Nothing. That’s right, NOTHING. If you’ve gotten this far, you know what we’re all about and I’m not gonna pretend like you don’t. Well, I am, in the episode itself I am, yes, but for this short description and time-stamp list, I’m gonna be a cock and say that you’re fine, everything is fine, listen to the episode: it’s fine. Torus Filth AKA Kitty is back as our #1 fan reincarnated as an even BETTER #1 fan of the show that wears all of her merchandise to the point of its detriment to society. It’s fine, she lives in New Zealand, I don’t know how things work over there. She could be committing arson wearing our merch and I’d still be proud as fuck. Anyways, these episodes are fun because they’re short and sweet and to the point - so let’s get it.
Christoph(28:11)
- Personal Story for the Arachnophobes Out There(42:08)
Citizen insane(47:30)
Corridor - Watching, Waiting(54:31)
Coulrophobia - The Man on the Rim of the World(1:01:16)
- The Wall Caller(1:08:29)
The Phantom of the Silly Tourist Dinner Theatre(1:14:13)
Ghost Pup(1:20:42)
Crackerman(1:23:58)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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You ever get released from your really strict and kinda crazy mental asylum just to go to another mental asylum that isn’t as bad? Me too. I have feelings about this ending. They’re not good feelings. They’re feelings I usually associate with bowel movements. You wanna talk OWLS? Nah, me neither. They’re weird and boring and like to throw up. I mean, yeah, they’re cool but WHO cares. Bit of an owl joke for ya. I know, it was bad. But not as bad as the ending of this story. Do we have a sense of humor still? Maybe, I’ll let you be the judge of that. I would say yes, because I know we try our best but sometimes the best just doesn’t do it, and I assume the author was saying the same thing when he wrote this. Enjoy how a story can end crazy and make you think the narrator really was crazy the entire time. CRAZY.
Summer of Vengeful Dead in Wichita Falls, TX(47:17)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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You ever get blamed for a murder you didn’t commit and get institutionalized because you plead insanity instead of going to jail? Yeah, me neither. I wonder where we’re going to go from here. Who can tell what is real and what is not, especially when that was kinda the point of the first ‘part’ of this series. Mineral Wells lingers as much as the CRAZY WATER does, so what even are expectations. “Who flew over the cuckoos’ nest?” I hear you asking, well, I don’t have the answer, and when I tried asking Deputy Dewey all he said was Jack Nicholson. I don’t know what the guy from Batman and The Shining has to do with any of this, but I’m about to sign up for Anger Management, you know what I’m saying? You don’t? Well, listen to the story. It’s a harrowing tale of how far a cop can fall and how some fucked up doctors can turn this into a winning combination.
Welcome To Smithfield: My Time in a Mental Institution for a Crime I Didn’t Commit - Mineral Wells Saga Part Two(1:12:30)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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You ever get stopped by the cops and have no idea what’s going on despite having just fled a murder scene and know you’re completely innocent and that ghosts are to blame? Yeah, me either. Deputy Dewey stopped me on the way home today and said he wanted to check my trunk for some bones and I thought it was a euphemism for anal and let’s just get to the point here: I was wrong. He was really telling me that he wanted to hang out and read a story from NoSleep with some gumption. Some length. Some real meat on dem bones, you know what I’m saying? Of course you do, you’ve been listening to this show long enough to know that we all got bones and we all got meat and some people got more meat than each other but we all got the same bones and those bones are fine and strong and inside of all of us and I’ve lost the plot but yeah, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, ARE YOU A GODDAMN COP? IF YOU’RE A FUCKING COP, YOU BETTER TELL ME, MAN. Enjoy!
I am a Police Officer in a Small Town in Texas and I Have Some Strange Stories to Tell(43:48)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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How do YOU feel about fossils, folks? I feel pretty good about them, myself. They’re bones, I’m bones, so we’re all bones. I get that. I feel good about that, like I said. I also feel pretty good about the stories we read on this episode. Yeah, we get off track as per the usual, but we read some really great stuff today and I’m excited to see what everyone thinks about it. Sleep Paralysis is incredibly interesting me, and so is the idea of the afterlife or even the tight-rope of life and death. What lengths we go to in order to hold onto the things we love the most. Crazy. Crazy stuff, right? I’d say that shit’s just about as crazy as fossils.
My Sleep Paralysis Demon is Actually a Pretty Chill Guy(32:46)
Maria on the Moon(1:24:08)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Lets get back to what made this show so special in the first place. Let’s pick random stories from a huge list and have no expectations about what we’re getting into and how the title may or may not hit its mark. What? No, that’s not what we always do, even with some of our series! That’s impossible. That could never be the truth. We can’t possibly, also, talk for like an hour before reading any of these stories. That doesn’t happen either. And we’re definitely not high. And definitely not just talking about random shit before also reading some stories while also smoking more and more throughout the episode. Yeah, no. None of that happens, right Glitch? RIGHT.
Faces in the Flowers(1:06:02)
My Town Stays Inside When the Wind Blows from the West(1:26:45)
Excuse Me While I Kiss the Sky(1:51:20)
Don’t Let Them In(2:14:25)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Is this going to be better or more exciting than the other part? No, not really. I’m just laying it all out there that we totally didn’t know what we were getting into and that’s why it’s so disappointing now that we’re on the other side. This is probably even the same author from the first part revisiting his same story/ARG years later and trying to blow it all back up to get things going again. This is funny, though. This is a funny episode. I do stand by that because I do think we find a way to make this material more interesting and easy to listen to despite how poorly written it is. Yeah, I’m being an armchair critic, and WhereAmI? Is adding gas to the fire like he does; But after doing this for 7-8 years, you learn a thing or two. And one of those THANGS is when a bad story is bad.
I Think a Nosleep May Be Real AKA Unearthing the Ransom Saga(24:22)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What can I say about this next series with WhereAmi? That already hasn’t been said on some of his other episodes… We’re easily excitable. We over-exaggerate. We use hyperbole a bunch. We’re eager. We get into the hype. And that… honestly, promotes a set up for disappointment. And that disappointment usually comes in the form of #wasdemons. Yes, folks, we have another #wasdemons two part story with WhereAmi? To go through. Is it bad? Uh…. No? Not entirely? Could it have been better? Almost infinitely. It has so much promise at the jump that almost immediately deflates upon landing. More like pierced intimately on a bed of Sharpe Cutco knives. Alas, we have fun here.
My Hometown Doesn’t Exist(20:05)
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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New season, new talent. What can I say? We gotta keep the train rolling and we gotta keep picking up passengers and sharing the load. Fucking fat load, you know what I’m saying. Fucking HUGE load for Lotsa Pasta, right? RIGHT. So who better to spread that load than a married couple. First married couple on the show? That’s cute. And you know one of them already, Midnight Bride was introduced with her single last season, so she’s back again, and she’s dragging the ol’ balls and chain with her - the husband. And when it came time to translate his particular sunny disposition, I thought what better way than illustrating him as the complete opposite of his dearly beloved. We got Afternoon Groom and the Midnight Bride on today’s episode folks and ain’t we lucky to be here recording the Spaghetti and Meatballs podc- I mean - the Lotsa Pasta Podcast today. I was glad to get this two-fer on the couch and hopefully they’ll be back soon for another smattering of the spooks soon! Let’s get spooky: TOO SPOOKY.
Stay in Bed(29:50)
Stranger Danger(56:03)
The Field Out Back(1:15:24)
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What better way to break up a massive sausage fest with a bunch of hunky boys than by calling in our favorite resident soul sucking temptress from the deep: Cannibal Siren. I know it probably only seems like a single episode between our last reading of STORIES TO READ ALONE AT NIGHT but I was excited after talking to Mark over at One-Page-Wonder(the author of all Stories to Read Alone at Night) and wanted to finish his current catalog of horror. Cannibal Siren, right along with me, eager to dive in, we get through three more of Mark’s amazing tales. It’s a simple episode after the madness and mayhem that was the Square, but that’s how we keep the balance here. Lotsa Pasta isn’t all a shit-show, right? We can have a semblance of structure. What better way than to visit one of our favorite authors and do what we do best.
The Duplex(9:50)
Marci Travels(20:03)
Neyna(47:02)
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WELCOME TO THE THUNDER-DOME, FUCKERS. I mean, uh, scratch that, uh, welcome to the… square? Right, that’s what this is called? Yeah. The SQUARE. Not the cube, we didn’t have time for that. That’s too much. I’m lazy. We needed something that did less. Thus, the Square. If you’ve seen the cube, you get the gist. We wake up. We don’t know where we are. We’re in new clothes, our things taken from us, and all we have is doors and rooms. Some rooms: safe. Some rooms: really not safe at all. The OPPOSITE of safe. Like DEAD. LIKE BAD DEAD. Anyways, this is the most people I’ve ever had on one episode, that’s cool! Organizing this and putting it together, not so much! I hope this amounts to something listenable as I edited it in three days! YAY! You wanted more podcast? Yeah? Well, now, I proudly present: 8 hunks yelling at each other. Enjoy.
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What an episode awaits us today, in this new year. The first of its kind, an interview of sorts, we welcome an AUTHOR to join us at the table of tomfuckery. MARK! AKA One Page Wonder AKA Stories to Read Alone at Night author joins us for a brief chat and story today, and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. What a guy, to sit there and deal with Cannibal Siren and I as we both gush and crush on this dudes stories. And what a guest he is, not only dealing with our badgering questions but bringing a whole NEW spanking story to the show JUST FOR US - never before read or released online. What a momentous occasion, for real FOR REAL. This is definitely a milestone in Losta Pasta history - and hopefully, not the last!
Amazing Bill Day(33:20)
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Oh, cum all ye faithful. Cum right here and now, please. Come listen to this week’s Christmas episode. YES, another one of these. And I incorrectly thought it was our tenth - it’s actually our ninth, BIG DEAL. And guess who’s back for another Christmas episode? Tenron Otrin! Yes, for his second Christmas episode! Nice. Oh, and Frowns McBooHoo is here too, I guess. Nothing new and exciting there. This shit is his idea after all. I hate these stupid fucking Christmas stories. I suppose it breaks up the monotony, though. We often take ourselves too seriously sometimes and some years we’re due some self-reflection. And what does that reflection reveal? How fucking stupid we could be, yes. That’s it. These Christmas stories suck and I apologize to NOBODY. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New year, you fucks. We’ll see you on the other side.
The Santa at the Mall(41:02)
Christmas Nightmare(55:06)
No Gifts this Year(1:18:57)
A Heartwarming Christmas Tale(1:34:08)
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Aliens. What more do I need to say. They are a wonder to us humans, as there is no definable evidence out there that we are alone or otherwise. That’s why we, here on Lotsa Pasta, like to get stoned and talk about it - because there is no wrong answer. You can never be too calm or too crazy when talking about aliens. Got a personal experience, let’s hear it. Had a dream about being anally probed, share with the class. Let’s dissect this shit to the best of our abilities, yeah? On today’s episodes, I have some of the most important scientists I know: Spum & Kumm. Wait, did I say scientists? I meant assholes. When I asked them what they wanted to do, Kumm lit up like a Christmas tree and said, “Let’s talk about aliens.” Word.
Shadows on the Wall(40:42)
Some Shooting Stars Aren’t Meant to be Wished Upon(51:43)
We Discovered Something in Deep Space(1:02:08)
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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It’s the last understatement for this part of the series folks, as we’ve reached our finale on what it means to live in the embodiment of spooky. The atmosphere: spooky. The residents: spooky. The elevator: spooky. The landlord: spooky. Me, I’m well spooked. Cannibal Siren is loving this shit, however, and even though I’m spooked, I am too. This is peak Reddit NoSleep, folks. I don’t think I’ve been this jazzed since the Left-Right Game and it might just be nostalgia saying that, but it’s not often you find such an eclectic ensemble of characters in a story so rich. If there’s more to come of Kate and her story living in this spooky-ass apartment building, we’ll be sure to revisit it. But, for now, enjoy the finale folks. Let’s see this shit through.
The Previous Tenant of my New Flat Left a Survival Guide(29:39)
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Mark Rooster has climbed in out of the cold, and I’m trying to talk him into my bedroom like Baby, it’s cold outside. Just like the beautiful, fresh December air that joins Mark Rooster today, he also brings gifts: a veritable Krapmus here to spread the Christmas cheer, eh? For today’s episode is all in thanks to Mark Rooster’s beautiful mind. I’m not talking Russell Crowe, either, I’m talking Lindsay Lohan. Yes, the once Disney Channel original movie teen starlet. For, you see, Mark Rooster has written us quite a tale today, and it all dates back to the wonderful year of drug-addled 2010. This is when Mark Rooster thought Lindsay should play the beauty to an all-too familiar beast.
Lindsay Lohan and the Beast from Hell(11:04)
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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So many twists and turns in this serious, my head is about to spin around like that bitch from The Exorcist, minus the split pea soup. I’m enjoying myself, don’t get me wrong, but we’re losing good characters and putting other good characters in danger almost constantly. Things get a bit more challenging this episode because it looks like our Michael Caine impersonator Derek is missing and we finally come face to face with our landlord. And let’s just say, it’s not a good time dealing with him either. Lots going on here, folks. Danger ahead, danger in the rear view, we’re going into some uncharted territory of seriously understated fuckery. I hope you guys are ready. This is the penultimate episode, so the next one is our last. Stay tuned, stay frosty.
The Previous Tenant of my New Flat Left a Survival Guide(22:54)
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The kingdom is crippling in debt and it’s all because of this no good inflation. Times they are a changing, Sofa King, and Bob Dylan ain’t the only one suckin and blowin to get by, apparently so is Sofa Prince; I hope to never meet him.
As a good host to our good king, I -of course- offered him a sumptuous meal upon his arrival and today we have quite the menu of creepy cavettatappi. Sofa King is hungry, he’s just beggin for today’s pasta and we’re going to give it to him in a VERSUS amount of doses. First, we read some NOSLEEP, then we read some UNSETTLING STORIES. Which pasta will come out on top? Royalty decides. Not you. You don’t have a voice here. This is America.
At the Drive-Thru at Starbucks(12:34)
She Sold Happiness in Glass Jars(29:07)
Regina’s Raspberry Jam(48:46)
Caviar(1:01:07)
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Part Two and things are getting super cereal. Serial? Yes, the stakes are up. Steaks? More people die and more people get eaten, that’s all I’m trying to say right now. Join Cannibal Siren and I for a quick re-cap and discussion of ideas as we get into what may be going on at the heart of this story. We get new time with new characters and we find out more about what’s going on all over the apartment building. Yes, there’s one singular problem and like nine smaller problems orbiting the life of OP at one time, she’s aware. She might even be responsible for some of it… Find out more bullshit that’s massively understated on EPISODE TWO of…
The Previous Tenant of My New Flat Left a Survival Guide(19:44)
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It’s always fun introducing new people to Not Hot But Spicy, because you genuinely never know what you’re going to get. This is one of those things that I think makes our show special because no one probably knows this material exists and no one who wrote these stories on these forums like 15 years ago probably ever expected people to read or narrate their material on a podcast. But I think that’s the fun in it, we’re making something else out of something and above all else we’re being REAL wild cards about it. I don’t know if Terry was into it as much, but this is probably the 8th person I could think of who has been randomly introduced to this material. Spontaneity can be fun, right?
The Secret Room(32:55)
The Bwystfel(55:54)
The Wireman(1:09:51)
The Haunted Ship(1:24:59)
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My timing for things is usually ass but I put a lot of thought into when I wanted this series to start and end. One big piece of this goes to Cannibal Siren for literally being one of the best readers I’ve had on the show and for always helping me put shit together, no matter if it’s last minute or months in advance. Another piece of this is the hindsight of having scheduled out pretty much the entire end-half of this season months out. Halloween. We need to do something cool for Halloween. That’s all I kept telling myself. The start of this series goes places, I wouldn’t necessarily say “horrifying” or “terrifying” but INTERESTING as hell. And what’s more scary than the promise of pain to come? The unknown horrors that this series promises? That’s spooky.
The Previous Tenant of My New Flat Left a Survival Guide(30:14)
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Let’s have a moment, you and I, here in the dark abyss of this old-ass shady-ass tunnel. A moment of respite to those who we’ve lost on our journey, with a healthy dose of tea; If you don’t mind my sentiment, or lack thereof. People often ask me when certain people are coming back and the truth is, I really don’t know. And worse even, the ones I DO know as the ones that are DEFINITELY NOT coming back. So let’s address the creepy elephant in the room for once and let me take off my Captain’s hat to meet you on your level. Nothing in this world lasts forever, we all know this. This is true with stories just as much with friendships. It’s kinda ironic that this story is what it is after all I’ve chosen to talk about. I think it’s okay to finally let my spooky hair down and bare it all. I hope you don’t mind, cause sometimes you just gotta get stuff out of your system. Just like sometimes you gotta find your way out of a very literal hole in the ground.
The Side Tunnel(31:17)
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Oh no, what’s that in the water? It’s hairy, it looks like a Dad, and it’s scared as hell. Holy shit. It’s Scutch MacGee, stepping out of the bog and onto our vessel with the utmost urgency. He’s here to join us on another legendary episode of Lotsa Pasta because we’re back to hail the king, baby. And I’m not talking Elvis. Another short story from an earlier collection of Stephen’s, this one holds a deep and stinky place in my heart due to the wonderful adaptation in the film Creepshow 2. If you know, then you know. If you don’t, you’re going to want to. Scutch, hold me, I’m so cold. What’s that in your pants? Rape culture? Get the fuck outta here.
The Raft(37:09)
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This is the end, my friends. Her name is Lily Madwhip and we’re at the conclusion. It’s been quite an ADHD riddled adventure, hasn’t it? And we’ve seen young Lillian come so far. She’s faced death, and WASDEMONS, and she’s making friends along the way. I hope everyone enjoyed this series, as we surely did. I’m not saying too much purely out of trying to avoid spoilers, but this is both a satisfying conclusion and a basic one, in hindsight. It’s grown on me a bit since first reading it. Interesting. Let’s see how you feel about it.
My Name is Lily Madwhip and I Have Become Vengeance(20:56)
…And I Have to Murder my Friend for a Dead Woman(44:25)
….And I Can’t Save Everybody(1:13:39)
….And This is an Epilogue(1:42:22)
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It’s always so much fun to record with friends across the country, specifically when you don’t know what you’re going to end up reading. This episode gets into some seriously triggering territory so this is your first and final warning. We do not vet these stories before we read them on the show, as evidenced by the MANY episodes before this one. All our reactions are live, all subject matter taken in stride. Can’t say you haven’t been warned, people.
Inhabiting your ear canals uninvited is Glitch Blob coming to haunt your phones and snatch your babies. Me? I’m here for the Lovecraft and the AIDs. We’ll see how you feel about these things when we’re done reading them, but Glitch Blob and I had one hell of time reading today’s smattering of Unsettling Stories.
Dial Tone(26:21)
Never Accept a Job Without Knowing What Your Work Will Be Used for. I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Forgive Myself for Being Part of Something like This(47:45)
The Empty Cribs on Hawthorne Lane(59:42)
A Short Walk on the Beach(1:13:54)
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It seems like we close each part of this story on a cliffhanger. Which makes it unusually addicting to listen to, in my opinion. Last episode ended very climax-y. In this third episode, we see a lot of action and a lot of payoff, and it’s not even the ending. We see Meredith finally play her Chekov’s Gun, we see some serious stakes, and we see some interesting powers. This is a fun story. WhereAmI? And I are enjoying it. I hope you are too!
My Name is Lily Madwhip and I Have No Idea Where I am(8:34)
…And This is the Worst Day Ever(30:09)
…And I’m Having a Picnic(57:04)
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It feels like it was just yesterday that Django and I started the Games with Ghoulies series. The idea was simple: Creepypasta has instruction based rituals as stories sometimes. What if we pretended to do them, what would the outcome be? Death, usually. Spooks, maybe. Comedy, undeniably. And with these games and rituals presented before us, sometimes we need that every-man perspective to ground us and make us not wanna chop our dicks off - I mean… represent the normalized margin. So, there’s also Strawberry Shortcake; who I’m sure has regretted joining us on these episodes several times over by now.
The Boatman Ritual(10:58)
The Bleak Elementary School Ritual(30:37)
The Staircase Ritual(51:48)
The Tunnel Game(1:13:01)
Bloody Mary(1:34:54)
The Ritual(1:42:19)
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Lily is back at it again with her shenanigans and ADD/ADHD way of speaking. It’s funny, isn’t it? Two 30 year old dudes reading basically glorified fan-fiction of a little 12 year old girl. Yes, there are angels/demons and mind powers and shit around every corner but like, at its core, this is a family drama about a little girl. Funny. At least it’s funny to me. WhereAmI? Is probably more at home here, he’s really enjoying this narrative. Let’s see where Lily goes next!
My Name is Lily Madwhip and my Parents are the Devil(17:26)
…And There’s Nothing Wrong with my Brain(45:22)
…And I Think a Magician is Going to Murder my Best Friend(1:09:55)
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Deputy Dewey, what is that in your pants? Oh no, it’s AQUA-SLASH. Just kidding, we didn’t watch that garbage, instead we just summarized our thoughts with the help of Red Letter Media! Anywho, the relevance of dying in a water park is high and so is the tide. What is going on at Uncle Bob’s Wicked and Wild Waterpark, we ask. The answer? Well, let’s just say some of this shit belongs in some of Deputy Dewey’s secret hentai-stash. ENJOY!
Welcome to Uncle Bob’s Wicked and Wild Waterpark: Where Nightmares Become Reality(15:11)
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HEY GUYS, It’s me and WhereAmI? In a new series! This one is about a little girl who may be crazy, may be haunted, may be guarded by angels, or may be ‘was-demons.’ I DON’T KNOW YET - Or do I? Well, maybe I do. But you don’t, and that’s the point of listening. Are you not entertained? You should be! Because this kid totally has ADD or ADHD of some kind and this shit is a rollercoaster. ENJOY. My Name is Lily Madwhip and I See Things Before They Happen(12:47)…And I Don’t Need a Therapist(25:32)…And I Wish Everybody Would Just Stop Dying(43:22)…And I Think my Dad is Trying to Kill Me(56:03)…And I Saw the Angel of Death(1:14:42)Check out our episodes on Youtube! www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwCheck out our episodes on iTunes, Spotify, google play podcasts, or soundcloud www.soundcloud.com/lotsa-pasta/Follow us on Facebook and join in the discussion: www.facebook.com/LPCaptainDeathFollow our subreddit:https://www.reddit.com/r/LotsaPasta/Check out our merch at: www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioFeaturing wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It's been a while since we've visited the gas station. Tenron Otrin was eager to revisit our buddy Jack and see how he's keeping up. The gas station is always easy to jump back into because it's 'more of the same' with 'a little bit new' and it perfectly balances those two without ever changing too much. On today's episode, the NEW comes in the form of animals. Jack has talked about the creatures surrounding the gas station before, sure, but these are NEW animals. The first story features a funky deer and the second story features a peculiar crow. Both events don't surprise Jack in any way, but Tenron can't help but LOVE coming back to the gas station every once in a while.Something Weird Came Into the Gas Station Last Night(9:28)A Murder at the Gas Station(20:56) Check out our episodes on Youtube! www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwCheck out our episodes on iTunes, Spotify, google play podcasts, or soundcloud www.soundcloud.com/lotsa-pasta/Follow us on Facebook and join in the discussion: www.facebook.com/LPCaptainDeathFollow our subreddit:https://www.reddit.com/r/LotsaPasta/Check out our merch at: www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioFeaturing wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
As we enter new territory on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta, we pay our respects to the forefathers that came before us. Alvin Schwartz and the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Stephen King and his various works. And today. R.L. Stine and his Goosebumps. So much can be said about this man and this series, but instead, how about you listen to the episode for that part. No, this isn’t a deep dive into the man or any of his works, but just a simple narrative. A story. About a dummy named Slappy.
Night of the Living Dummy - Goosebumps #7(15:45)
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One of my favorite guests is back and it’s been a short while since we’ve seen some of these stories. It’s Cannibal Siren and we’re reading more of One Page Wonder’s Stories to Read Alone at Night. We get into the Halloween Spirit to welcome in the new year, - Why? Because fuck you, that’s why. Then we get into some old school urban legend spooky ghost lore with this shit. It’s a radical little episode but I’m sure you’re going to enjoy it. We only have a couple more Stories to Read Alone at Night left, so we’ll be sure to get to the rest soon before we eventually get to interview the author: One Page Wonder himself!
Full-Size Candy Bars(25:46)
Nice, Wiry Boy(53:17)
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I’ve been waiting quite some time for this day. You all should know this. I may have talked about it a couple times on prior episodes but the stars -er- clouds did not align until this day. Tenron Otrin joins me, of course, to revisit the horror, the absolute abysmal terror that is Sony Pictures and Screen Gems monstrosity that is Slender Man the movie, released in 2018. What a harrowing tale we weave. Join us if you dare, for another LET’S WATCH commentary track - but this time, for one of the worst studio released horror films of recent times. May God have mercy on our souls. Just kidding, God isn’t real. But Slender Man is. Slender Man(2018) (32:55)
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I know what you’re thinking. Christmas is over. Why is there a Christmas episode now? Aren’t we done with these? Obviously not, because I’m both a sadist and a masochist. I want to feel the pain and I want to share it with all of you. The pain of the holiday season, coming to a podcast near you, starring Tyler Perry as Madea. I hope you guys like it because it may be the last one we ever do. For real this time. Maybe. I don’t know. Enjoy. Happy New Year, ya filthy animals.
Christmas Eve(14:45)
Christmas Eve Night (19:35)
Christmas Day(40:46)
Christmas Miracle(1:11:01)
Christmas Wish(1:22:58)
Christmas Warning(2:00:09)
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What did you think of that first part? Kid needs GTFO, amirite? Too bad he’s broke, in the middle of the woods, with no vehicle, surrounded by cult members. That’s a very no-way-out type of situation, yeah. When you can’t use your muscle, use your brains, right? Find a different way out of your situation by OUTSMARTING the dumb-ass cult. Yeah, that’ll work. Shut the fuck up, Raphael! Sorry, Sofa King, you were saying? Oh yeah, enjoy the story!
Something Strange is Going on at Camp Oakwood(7:53)
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Royalty has returned to the show and out of nowhere, it seems. What a pleasure to have Sofa King back again so soon and for his first series no less! It’s only a two-parter but this camp-story-gone-cult has a few twists and turns you may not see coming. Is it the best written story we’ve ever read? No, absolutely not. Is it is the best voice work we’ve done? Also no, absolutely not. Was it a fun time? Every second of it.
Something Strange is Going on at Camp Oakwood(21:36)
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What a rollercoaster ride of a series, right? I mean, not literally, but LITERALLY, right? In part one we’re just minding our business and doing our thing and next thing you know - we’re all sorts of topsy-turvy. What a ride! This is one of my favorite things I’ve read in a while and I’m so thankful to the author for having done such a wonderful job. I am genuinely honored to read it on my 5 year anniversary of this show! Let’s get that END!
We Used to Live Here(8:45)
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This might be the shortest episode I’ve done in a while. It was quick and sweet. I just wanted to get through the rising action of the second act of this story but without going TOO far. I want the climax of the next episode to come together and culminate in the beauty that is its conclusion. This is all part of the plan, my sweet listener.
Stay tuned.
We Used to Live Here(4:06)
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It’s been five years since the inception of this show. What more can I say. I just want to read a good story by myself. So that’s what I’m going to do.
We Used to Live Here(7:56)
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Ramses Vanderslice is back to finish what he started. He’s been handed his bar of soap and he’s gonna wash himself raw, folks. He’s gotta get clean. Cause we’re going back to THE SHOWERS. And it’s gonna get messy. If it hasn’t already, right? After that part one, if we were messy then, then we’re about to get filthy. Is this scary, yet? You decide! Ramses read these and I haven’t heard from him since. So, he’s clearly either scared out of his mind OR HE’S GONE TO NEBRASKA IN SEARCH OF THE SHOWERS. ONLY 2 POSSIBILITIES. DONE.
The Showers(16:23)
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Grab your closest copy of HELLRAISER, folks! Play the beginning of the track and then when we pause for you, start playing your copy of the movie and our show at the same time. It'll be like you're right there with us, as Deputy Dewey and I heckle the shit out of the holiday season. Enjoy!
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Ramses Vanderslice could not have manifested again at a better time. Right out of the void in my heart, he appears with a single word: SHOWERS. I don’t know what he’s getting at. Does he need to shower? If he wants to see my shower? I don’t know but SHOWERS. We give Ramses what he needs, folks, because this two-parter is special. It holds a special place in our 2021 Halloween season-heart as one of the most confusing stories we’ve read yet. Is this scary? I don’t know! I read both parts and I STILL don’t know. Ramses? Nothing, he’s been gone for months, we read this a while ago, I don’t know what I’m doing. SHOWERS.
The Showers(26:27)
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New Challenger Approaching! I know we just released a new fan-to-record appearance last month with Midnight Bride but I’ve been waiting to release her and today’s guest -TORUS FILTH- for A LONG TIME. Torus Filth comes to us across the globe, through time and space, to share stories about the islands of New Zealand. How I wish to brave those New islands at one point in my life, but until then, we’ll have to sit at home online and read scary stories instead. Happy to have this listener for years finally on the show and happy to finally have her join the Lotsa Pasta family!
Unknown Cargo(55:09)
In Our Quest to Drill for More and More Oil, I Think We Finally went Too Deep(1:30:37)
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Imagine, if you will, a thrilling conclusion. An ending of epic porportions. We’ve come this far, and traveled to near-impossible territory. We’ve battled literal demons and ripped through dimensions with manifestations of entities never seen before: All looking to claim souls of the damned. This is sin eater. Not your average fairy tale. No princesses. No knights. No dragons.
Sin Eater(20:21)
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Scary stories. Local urban legends. That one friend who told that spooky tale around a campfire that one time. A personal experience, embellished over time to become a product of performance. This is the heart of Not Hot But Spicy. Random people telling their random yarns. Are they real? Who can say. Are they completely made up? No clue. That’s what makes it so compelling. Some of them feel as real as someone just opening up about haunting trauma. Other times, well, other times it feels like your uncle trying to lure you into a closet just to finger you.
Army Man(24:15)
Anna and Marmalade(39:35)
Haunted Hay Rack(1:01:11)
The Ford Falcon(1:16:46)
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Lots of twists and turns await us on today’s episode. It’s the penultimate episode of the Sin Eater Saga and it ends on a hefty cliffhanger. Should I have seen something like this coming? No, not entirely. It’s only a little bit alluded to and the pay off isn’t quite there yet. Django and I had a wonderful time with this episode, Gluttony and Wrath being two of our remaining sins. What little does that leave, I wonder?
Sin Eater(18:52)
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Where do you go when you die? Well, you see, the answer to that specific question has nothing to do with this episode but if you stick around until the very ending seconds, you might find the answer. Anywho, I’m back with the royal Sofa King and we’re here to read about a girl. A SPACE GIRL, except, she’s not from space and we’re just as confused as you are. ENJOY. Space Girl(30:24)
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We’re onto our next meals, I mean, next inmates. We’re stuck at this maximum security prison on some unmarked island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle - how about that for a set up - but we’re okay being here, right? We’re getting fed. We’re having nice conversations. We’re doing the thing. There’s not shady, ulterior motive at work here at all. Hahah Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay God!
Sin Eater(22:14)
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What’s that in the sky? Is it a floating disc? A flying angular trapezoid? No, it’s the void!
God help us all.
And right next to it IS DR. ENKENSTEIN. And he’s brought bourbon! Let’s get twisted and read some stories, eh? It’s another alien episode and with every alien episode comes another series of bitching about Ridley Scott and his bastardization of the Alien series by his own hand! Yay for that!
Unwanted Room(46:49)
A Diner Open 25 Hours a Day(1:42:05)
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You hungry? Because dinner is served. Not just for you, but for you, me, and Django Phillips on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta. We’re cooking up some spooky spaghetti of epic proportions tonight and I hope y’all are ready for a series of deceitfully decadent dishes. This is the part one of series that is sure to satiate with sinful delight. Join us now for the appetizer on this journey, because there will soon be more mortal morsels for us to devour along the way.
Sin Eater(18:37)
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It’s tough to already be at the finish line. But here we are. Oh and with your best friend in tow. I say in tow, because he’s been dragging you down the entire time. Trying to desperately kill you. Like a psychopath.
What a good friend!
And so - like I said - we’re at our journey’s end. If you’re sad, don’t be. I’m sure we’ll see David King again, without giving too much away - of course.
I Dared my Best Friend to Ruin my Life(5:25)
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You’re walking down the aisle. You see your beautiful bride before you down at the end waiting for you. But. Something is wrong. She looks… off. You haven’t seen her since last night but she looks… different. It’s not your to-be-wife! It’s MIDNIGHT BRIDE. Here to join Captain Death on our adventure of spooky spoops and spooky spooks on our ship to the NETHERWORLD. Give here a big warm welcome, folks, she’s here to stay!
An Email from my Daughter’s Killer(21:28)
My Sister was Murdered and She Won’t Shut Up About It(42:52)
The Perils of Live TV(57:23)
An Unaired Episode of Food Networks Chopped(1:16:33)
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If I dared Frowns McBooHoo to ruin my life, he’d probably just become straight and steal my girlfriend while simultaneously farting in my face. Don’t give him any ideas folks, he doesn’t look at these descriptions. We join our hero XANDER on his quest to save his girlfriend and David Fucking King has laid down a series of not-fart related traps that keep us guessing every step of the way. Next step: MURDER.
I Dared my Best Friend to Ruin my Life(9:25)
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A three-fer you’ll never forget: it’s Captain Death, Deputy Dewey, and WhereAmI? We’re reading stories about some terrible sights, but mostly terrible sounds and I’m not talking about the cacophony of our butthole noises. Get ready for some Creepypasta VERSUS Reddit NoSleep trio on trio - we got some body horror, some accidental deaths, some purposeful ones, some creepy neighbors and creepy daddies, and HELL ITSELF. So, you know, a basic episode.
Holes(8:08)
A Package Marked RETURN TO SENDER(19:18)
The Pianist(27:27)
Stranded in Hell(37:31)
New Neighbors are Really Starting to Freak Me Out(45:27)
For my Ninth Birthday, I Got the Coolest Walkie Talkies Ever(54:10)
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What do you get when you mix Frowns McBooHoo, Dick Dastardly, and the Joker? David Fucking King, lemme tell ya. Frowns really runs with this one, so I hope y’all are ready to catch up. We’re here to read a story about two friends who make the worst fucking agreement I’ve ever heard, but kids do stupid shit all the time, so I can’t say I’m surprised. Ruin my life? Good fucking luck.
I Dared my Best Friend to Ruin my Life(12:41)
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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What do you get when you mix a cracked out psychopath and a religious nut-bag? I would've said our former U.S. presidency under Trump and Biden, but no - you get Happy Boy - a story about a cracked out psychopath who meets a religious nut-bag and they get to killin' together. Is anything explained? No! We have an unreliable narrator who's too cracked out and talking to himself to understand what's really going on. And we're along for the ride! Buckle up, Buckaroo! Happy Boy(3:47)
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Nothing like diggin' up some old bones when we're returning to the content slate, eh? That's why i dug up a particular ghost, a gasp from the past, Mr. SkellyBones to join us on today's closing episode for Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Fun Fact, Mr. SkellyBones was here to ring in the Scary Stories series we've been doing since Season 2, with the esteemed Bunch of Baby Ducks on Episode 83, and now he's BACK to BURY IT. We owe our childhood fuckery to Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell, as they were our spooky grandpas for whom we probably would never have made this show without their influence. Thank you both.Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones(continued) (25:55)Check out our episodes on Youtube! www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwCheck out our episodes on iTunes, Spotify, google play podcasts, or soundcloud www.soundcloud.com/lotsa-pasta/Follow us on Facebook and join in the discussion: www.facebook.com/LPCaptainDeathFollow our subreddit:https://www.reddit.com/r/LotsaPasta/Check out our merch at: www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioFeaturing wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
It’s crazy to think about how many possibilities were able to be found in this campaign and how group A overlaps with group B. Even minimally, they were heading toward similar points but have entirely different outcomes. It’s crazy. And it’s not doubt thanks for the differences in Monsters summoned in the finale, of course.
We have a couple people who are responsible for multiple appearances and we have some who just have the unlucky circumstance of being in the wrong cabin at the wrong time.
I’ve played the campaign 4 times in total, so far. That’s once with my siblings and then AFTER everything some overlap with other people who had played prior with a surprise appearance from Mr. Skellybones who wanted in on the craziness. Every time something different happened. Again, minimal overlap was found from time to time but entirely different side plots made, NPCs found, and secrets discovered. It’s so fun to see all the people I care about get to experience something I care so much about; Just like this show.
Anyways, you’re not here for reading. You’re here for the Chaos. Let’s see who gets what’s coming to them and who barely makes it out alive. Even with some help, not everyone is going home tonight.
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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And so we’re here. Group B.
AKA WILD CARDS.
This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game.
I borrowed some elements from DnD and Betrayal(House at Haunted Hill) to come up with this. We’re only playing with D6’s(six sided die), and each person gets two. You’ll be hearing me say things like BRAVE or SCARED. This is rolling with advantage(rolling twice and taking the higher number) vs. rolling with disadvantage(rolling twice and taking the lower number). But sometimes I’m also taking an average of the numbers. 12 points of health in two separate 6 point tracks, mental and physical. If mental runs out, the player goes insane. If physical runs out, the player dies. Honestly, the instructions were very loose but genuinely inspired by the prior 199 episodes of stories we’ve read on the show. I went back and compiled 1 thing per episode and added it to this campaign.
Some of the things are side-quests full of action, some are NPCS(non-playable characters) like enemies and allies or in-betweens, and some are nothing more than colorful flavor text, Easter eggs, or items for the players to find and use i whatever way they imagine they can.
I genuinely hope everyone enjoys LOTSA PASTA’s CHAOS IN THE WOODS!
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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Less talk - more action! Night has fallen and the creatures summoned by Part One’s actions are coming to obtain their just desserts. And JUST they are.
Monsters, ghosts, demons, alternate dimension PIMPS? Who knows what awaits our classic crew for the climactic ending of CABIN IN THE WOODS.
Will everyone make it out alive?
No. I can spoil that for you - not everyone does, unfortunately.
But how good can a story REALLY be without a good, old fashioned SACRIFICE?
Tune in and listen to see how and who makes it out ALIVE!
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“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
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We’re finally here. Episode Two Hundred. The 4th year anniversary in full effect. I really hope this is listenable and interesting to everyone, because I spent a good long while trying to write this, plan this, and get this done. This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game.
I borrowed some elements from DnD and Betrayal(House at Haunted Hill) to come up with this. We’re only playing with D6’s(six sided die), and each person gets two. You’ll be hearing me say things like BRAVE or SCARED. This is rolling with advantage(rolling twice and taking the higher number) vs. rolling with disadvantage(rolling twice and taking the lower number). But sometimes I’m also taking an average of the numbers. 12 points of health in two separate 6 point tracks, mental and physical. If mental runs out, the player goes insane. If physical runs out, the player dies. Honestly, the instructions were very loose but genuinely inspired by the prior 199 episodes of stories we’ve read on the show. I went back and compiled 1 thing per episode and added it to this campaign.
Some of the things are side-quests full of action, some are NPCS(non-playable characters) like enemies and allies or in-betweens, and some are nothing more than colorful flavor text, Easter eggs, or items for the players to find and use i whatever way they imagine they can.
I genuinely hope everyone enjoys LOTSA PASTA’s CABIN IN THE WOODS!
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Thank you!
“MC Chris is dead“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
There comes a time for every show to come to an end. Today we thank everyone who has been with us along the way. All the stories we’ve read, all the spooks we’ve had, and all the friends we’ve made. This episode, this one specifically, this one is for you. I hope you hotdog and relish this. I hope it leaves you feeling warm and satisfied. I hope you remember this for a long long time.
This.
Is the end.
So That’s What Sleep Paralysis Feels Like - A Memoir - by Captain Death (5:04)
Guy’s Gooey Games-My Curse, My Flavortown 3(24:16)
The Timer Traveler-(Re-Write)(31:00)
The Cabin in the Woods(45:07)
Squidward’s Revenge(50:57)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
This is honestly a really fun episode. After leaving, Django texted me and said this is the most fun he’s had on an episode - and I can’t help but feel like it’s a mirror to what he and I were doing 4 years ago. We used to start this show with stupid convo that doesn’t matter and then get into smaller, interesting short stories. He’s been taking the heavy shit for most of the episodes since 100, I figured it’s good to give the guy a break and just have fun once in a while.
Draw a Monster. Why is it a Monster?(13:08)
My Friend has a Coin-Operated Little Brother(37:38)
I am His Architect and I’ve Doomed Us All(1:00:57)
Something Walks Whistling Past my House Every Night at 3:03(1:27:27)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Terry’s not new but someone else here is trying to convince us that he’s changed. You’re not going to trick us, Jeff! You’re a stupid weeb cosplaying as Heath Ledger’s Joker with all the hashtag edge-lord shit still in full effect. The eclipse hasn’t come. The paradigm has not shifted. Your clothes are different but your SOUL is the same TAINT black. Eh, we’ll read a couple parts, I guess. As long as Terry can handle it. Can you handle it, Terry? … Terry?
He’ll be back.
Jeff the Killer - Director’s Cut(22:02)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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Let’s get into the deepest of deep topics we can get into, Charlie. No, not anal. GOD. YES. FAITH. YES. RELIGION. NOoo. But, yes. If something has the ability to make someone go from ATHEISM to BELIEVER, don’t you think it’s like the POWER OF GOD? I mean, it’d have to be something crazy, right? Like God literally parting the clouds and saying, “Wassup? :P,” right? Hm. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it’s ALIENS. (It’s not aliens…) No, you’re lackluster!
I was an Air Traffic Controller at Atlantic Municipal Airport, Iowa for 27 Years. My First Year at the Job, I Unwillingly Went from a Firm Atheist to a Believer(1:35:37)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Hello, Ms… Siren? May I call you Cannibal? Yes, please have a seat. Yes, I was very interested in your resume. You list both “consuming the flesh of unsuspecting men” and “the ability to hypnotize” very highly, and you do come recommended from a recently deceased colleague, rest his soul. You certainly have a very remarkable CV.
When can you start?
Maggie(Re-Read)(49:28)
Mr. Stringy Comes Home(1:13:37)
Zobelius the Ravisher(2:03:25)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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This is unlike anything WhereAmI? Has ever witnessed. He’s not even ready for it. No, like, for real, as we continue the episode, he proves himself less and less able to handle this shit. What have I done? How high have I become? Oh yeah, this one’s fucked up. Here’s a trigger-warning for shit about to get fucked up. Don’t believe me? Well, wait for the part where WhereAmI? Literally walks out of the room because of how fucked up the story is. YEAH. THAT HAPPENS.
The Pornfields of Cog 7(11:58)
Good god, just how old am I?(43:30)
Voice on the Radio(1:08:22)
The Pancake Family(1:25:13)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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I wish I could say my year has begun on the right foot, but it really hasn’t. Just because the number on the calendar changed doesn’t mean shit can’t still come out of nowhere to ruin your day. Here’s to a happy new year of more problems brought on by the people around me and making me indirectly involved with their terrible decision making! gin-gin.
Anyway, here’s a story I read by myself a couple months ago that I really enjoyed.
Feed the Pig(6:59)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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What have I done. What have I stooped to. This is rhetorical because not only do I hate Christmas but I hate it enough to relinquish the reins of my show to Frowns McBooHoo for an episode to avoid the humbuggery of the evening. Let’s see if we can get through this in one piece. If so, I’ll see you on the other side in a much brighter, and less shitty, 2021. Holla.
The Perfectly Behaved Boy(16:00)
Better Watch Out, Better Not Cry(52:10)
The Elf on the Shelf(1:21:41)
Santa’s Other Workshop(1:40:54)
Santa Claws(2:03:44)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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Merry Christmas, Tenron. Too bad we’re stuck at work, right? This is a drag. I wish I could be at home takin’ a drag, you know what I mean? I’d Ru Paul the shit out of some kush rn, yanno. Roast my chestnuts on an open fire, yanno. Open some presents, to myself. But NO. We’re stuck here at this GOD DAMN gas station again, and who is that at our door? Let’s find out.
Merry Christmas from the Gas Station(32:06)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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Would ya look at that - the family is back in time for the holidays. How sweet! I mean, spicy! Right, cause today we’re reading more of the NHBS Forum to share in those remedial short story spooks people all around the world have been submitting for years. It’s interesting stuff, but you know, it’s not TOO interesting. It ain’t hot - after all. It’s just spicy. Dig in.
Dead cat(23:35)
Clown shoe(33:59)
Muppets(44:02)
Kiran(52:38)
Aqwerdsilence(59:31)
Ceramicpig(1:05:17)
Inexistant Class Trip(1:11:48)
The Grey Man of Ben Macdui(1:16:48)
The Second Floor of Doom(1:23:46)
A Sleepy Budgie(1:27:32)
Catsformissiles(1:29:32)
Doodles McIdiot(1:31:40)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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It’s been too long since we’ve seen the Doctor and it shows. I need a check-up, Doc, I got a problem. Well, you see. I might be insane. MIGHT be. I’m not sure. You see, there’s this horse-thing going around snatching people up and dragging them down into the sewers like Pennywise. What? No, I’m not currently taking any medication. You want to recommend me some? I’m all for it!
The Molendinar Burn(10:11)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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1:04:04
Harold had always wanted to do an episode with Strawberry Shortcake. So, why not, I’ve always said. What’s the worst that can happen? Well, next time i’ll ask Ted Danson and Long Ball Larry. And Beverly. Because they knew what I was in for today more than those two assholes. I tried! I really did! Alvin Schwartz deserves the respect and honor of many. But.. but.. well, you’ll see- er- hear? I guess. God, have mercy on these episodes.
MORE Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark(16:50)
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones(58:21)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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How come every time Mark Rooster and I are together we almost never read stories anymore? Oh yeah, it’s because we get too high and start talking about movies and next thing you know — the episode is over. Well, I hope you like a more relaxed episode because it’s nothing serious with me, Mark Rooster, and Alley Cat(Surprise Appearance!), because today we are talking MOVIES. This is the most movies we’ve ever talked about. That’s why we do it LIGHTNING ROUND style! Kinda.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
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Woah, where are we? There is… nothing here. I mean, this place is just EMPTY. Wait, I think I see someone. Is that… it is! Ramses Vanderslice? What is this place? The Void, you say. What is it you do here? Nothing. Huh. Well, I happen to have some shitty stories here, would you wanna do a little storytelling? I guess you’re right, other than to stare into the nothingness, there isn’t much going on. Let’s get into it!
Jessie Mack(12:04)
Mr. Smile(34:29)
Mr. Grabs(54:02)
Betsy the Doll(1:13:45)
Heather’s Phases(1:28:41)
Allison’s Loss(1:46:57)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Did you assume my digital brother from another mother would be back so soon? He glitched into my existence and hasn’t stopped FUCKIN with my shit since. SO he’s back with a vengeance! I GOT A PC, and we talk about the prospects therein, but we also talk about the future of Lotsa Pasta. The ocean is vast and we are many. Then comes Glitch Blob’s Creepypasta origins following the arrows wherever they may lead. Down the rabbit hole we go, where we come out, nobody knows.
Follow the Arrows(36:19)
The Sealed Building(1:29:44)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
I shot the Sheriff, but I’m getting high with the Deputy. The DewDrop is back and this time we’re getting SCARY and by SCARY I mean, at a 4th Grade Reading Level. Alvin Schwartz’s collection of urban legends and spooky tales is coming back for a revenge. We’re on book 2 folks, this is gonna be an unabridged reading of:
MORE Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark(27:57)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Look at who’s back! I chased him down, I found him, and I dragged him back into the world of the living - with his permission, of course. It’s GESTALT back for another spooky episode where we read YET ANOTHER story about someone dealing with a Poltergeist that is just WAY TOO ACTIVE for its own good. What do you even do in those situations? I don’t know! This episode is probably the closest representation of that ignorance.
Why does Gestalt always get these episodes? Maybe it’s fate. Maybe he was born with it. Maybe it’s Maybeline.
Channel 543(38:27)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
This is our last newbie of the 100 class; DSL Daisy is here to bring us home to our final episodes before the big 2-0h-0h. I love being able to introduce another woman on the show, specifically someone I know would be a good fit for LP, and Daisy is no exception. We bring her in with a little fanfare and pageantry before diving into a wonderful story, so be sure to keep an eye on Daisy’s episodes on the show in the future. She’s sure to be back for more!
My Brother Died When I Was a Child. He Kept Talking. I Think People should Know What He Said(44:14)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Look, fat, look. You made it through part one and you have no reason to NOT listen to part two. Unless of course you do, more power to you. And by that I mean, more power to US. This is part two of the Florida Fiasco with the Big Boyz. You heard it here second, folks, we’re back telling more stupid inclusive jokes and reminiscing the good times before reading MORE stories about spooky Disney shit. Is it scary? I don’t know! That’s subjective. Just like Tom Hardy’s performance as Shinzon in Star Trek Nemesis.
The Time I Broke into Disney(33:23)
Not All Creatures at Disney World are Animatronic(1:05:59)
I was an Under-Cover Security Officer at Walt Disney World; I Found Their Darkest Secret(1:25:46)
I Work at Disney; Stay Away from the Haunted Mansion(1:52:25)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Live with a Hispanic Neighboring Room Audience, from Orlando, Florida, LOOOOoooootsaaaaa PASTAaaaaa! And here comes our host, Captain Death!
Hey, Everyone! Thank you so much for joining us tonight. I’m very excited to be here with my boys in Florida, being fat and riding rides and being too fat TO ride rides - cue laugh track.
We’ve certainly been keeping ourselves busy, and by that I mean, EATING - heyyooo.
We’re gonna tell some jokes, tell some stories, read some stories, and it’ll all remind you of Tom Hardy when he played Shinzon in Star Trek Nemesis.
River Country Film(49:52)
The Costume(1:09:57)
Why I’ll Never Work Security at Disney World Again(1:28:49)
The Disneyland Suicide Pact(1:46:38)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
RIP Headphones users
The supreme leader of sitting is back. The liege or leisure. The host of heineys. It is the Sofa King. He joins me today for a smattering of strange. A charcuterie of creeps. Hor d’oeuvres of horror. It’s Lotsa Pasta. We’re doing a classic episode where we hop around the three spaghettis of spooks: Creepypasta, Reddit NoSleep, and Unsettling Stories. I hope you’re ready for all this weird shit. Cause we’re gonna go off in many directions to the point where nothing matters anymore. Have fun!
The Cat(19:19)
A Strange Village(56:22)
All the Swans are Gone(1:10:19)
Somethings are Better Left Unsaid(1:24:47)
A Gifted Chef(1:39:
He Went Ahead(1:55:
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Look who it is! He’s not dead yet! Scutch MacGee is back to help me dive into one of Creepypasta’s more eccentric model boys: Laughing Jack. I had only seen pictures of Laughing Jack previous to today’s story and I had never known where he came from but here he is to spice up the night with Scutch and I. There are three things I’d like to confirm: One. Scutch still thinks he’s an old man. Two. He is scared more than ever that someone(his kids) are gonna kill him. Three. He hopes to god his kids stop talking to voices he can’t hear.
My Son’s “Imaginary” Friend(40:53)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
What’s that in your eye, WhereAmI? Is that a tear? Or is that bacon grease? Let’s find out! Today on Lotsa Pasta we’re reading a story about control, about consumption, about corruption, and about counselors from hell. What better motivator to lose some weight than torture and post traumatic stress disorder? Who knew?! Jenny Craig? I think not. Don’t feel too bad about yourselves, dear listeners, we love you just the way you are: One heaping serving of Pasta after the other. Join WhereAmI? And I on our journey to the adolescent unfortunate underbelly of all dieting techniques ever witnessed. Maybe we’ll gain something. Er-Lose something?
Fat Camp(16:47)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
We’re back for the conclusion of the thrilling Doppel-Gangbang. I mean, no actual gangbanging has happened yet, but Cannibal Siren thinks we may be in for some good shit. Some Doppel-Snatch, indeed. I mean, I think it’s going to be good shit either way, mostly because I’ve read it already and I want you to enjoy this story and I’m writing it after the fact. It’s good! Don’t worry! But is there monster-fucking? I’ll let you figure that out for yourselves.
We meet back up with our boys, headed to the OP’s Mom’s house. Our gay protags have found themselves in a bit of a pickle. Not a gay pickle, mind you, but like a supernatural pickle. It’s more like a stalking, freaky, looks like my husband-pickle.
And I’m eating it up - no homo.
That wasn’t my Husband who Slept Next to Me Last Night(24:33)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
She heard the call. I mean. She heard someone was talking shit. So she’s back. It’s Cannibal Siren for her quarterly check-up. Are you safe from her? I think not. You just got diagnosed with the Siren’s Song. Let’s get weird.
On this episode we discuss D&D, our History together, and some good ol’ gay love. But this isn’t regular gay love. This is some monster-fucking gay love. Doppelgänger’s-gang-banging, indeed. Let’s get to the bottom of this, shall we? HMM? Or shall we start from the TOP? HMM? Is this where the homosexual puns end? HMM?
Absolutely not.
Don’t tell Frowns.
That wasn’t my Husband who Slept Next to Me Last Night(51:12)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Tenron is back for his part two and we’re cutting right through the bullshit. Well, not really. We do talk for 20 minutes about random shit first. THEN - we continue the story. We want to know what’s going on with Jack, right? Who broke his leg? Is he gonna be okay? Is Marlboro going to tell any more of the story? Well, I have the answers to all of this because I’ve edited the episode but you don’t know! You don’t understand! All I got to say is DARK GODS, SPENCER MIDDLETON, SUBJECTIVITY, and NOT REALLY? AND HOW!
Let’s get into this shit.
Tales from a Gas Station(27:50)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Is this story series gonna be any good?
“Well, let’s find out.”
Thanks, Lando!
Tenron is back and we’re talking some shitty Star Wars memes before we get into what is bound to be a fun little series that we may or may not snowball into a larger effort later. If you are familiar with this series, you know there is a LOT of material here. Multiple parts in the same universe, all being told by the eponymous Jack or otherwise. We don’t know. We haven’t gotten there yet. But if this is good, we just might! IF YOU LIKE THIS, LET US KNOW!
Tales from a Gas Station(23:32)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
This is a very special episode. Just shy of our fourth year anniversary, we finally get a fan on the show! Glitch Blob once reached out to me to let me know he enjoyed our program and we’ve kept a fun banter going ever since. Fast forward a couple years and here he is on the show! Breaking boundaries and crossing barriers, Glitch Blob is here to help me read tonight’s story. It’s a lot like what we are doing with one another, meeting for the first time. Is the call coming from inside the house? No, the call is coming from across the country.
Unknown Caller(54:12)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
RIP HEADPHONE USERS, THIS EPISODE HAS SPORADIC VOLUME SHIFTS, like my ex girlfriend. Just figured I’d warn you, unlike my ex girlriend.
We got a Throwback quad here. An Arcade of attitudes. Just, a really Solid Crew. Punxsutawney Trill, Lanky Lucifer, and Deputy Dewey are here to talk the talk, walk the walk, and to get naked. Cause we’re going to the beach! What’s the worst thing that could happen? Nothing bad ever happened at a beach, right? Specifically not a NUDE beach, right? Nahhhhhhh.
Maybe.
The Nude Beach(55:18)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
It’s another Solo-Dolo like the Moon-Man would say. It’s just me on this episode and we’re gonna read a story I can definitely relate to, and I know others will be able to too. Lots of weird, scary, and dangerous stuff can happen when you’re driving home late at night. Be careful, everyone. You never know what you’re gonna run into. Or… Where you’re going to end up.
If you guys like these solo episodes, let me know! I might do them more frequently if people give it some love! I’m thinking of even doing a series by myself, but I gotta know that people want that first;;
Let me know!
What Happened on my Drive Last Night(13:03)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Every hundred episodes, we get a 69th episode. Here with the only one who knows how to 69 the best: Frowns McBooHoo. I know you guys love when the episodes are stupid and don’t make sense, this episode is no exception. And guess what. After a little bit of GRANDMA, we get into some old school shit. TROLL-PASTA. It’s gonna be a dumb one. It’s gonna be a fun one. Enjoy.
My Grandma Lived Under the House(23:26)
I Found a Diary in my Grandma’s Basement(41:07)
Daddy Pig’s Revenge(1:00:54)
Sally(1:06:43)
The Cursed Mountain Drawing(1:11:12)
Mr.Mix(1:13:18)
Animal.exe(1:19:57)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Welcome back to another exciting episode of Games with Ghoulies! I’m your host, Captain Death, here to introduce todays co-hosts and guests: Django Phillips and Strawberry Shortcake. You know them, they’ve been here before, they’re no strangers to the Lotsa Pasta game show. On today’s episode, we go all over the map. We do some Japanese rituals and some old school historical rituals, we also read some fun fiction, and some dumb fiction.
What were your expectations? You saw the title, right?
The Martha Game (27:17)
Kurokami Sama (34:09)
Little Devil (38:22)
In the Eye of the Giant (45:10)
Listen to the Clock (1:02:14)
The Eye in the Shadows (1:16:27)
The Floor is Lava (1:25:58)
The Dumb Supper Ritual (1:40:54)
The Oklahoma Darkness Game (1:51:54)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
I have a new guest on this episode and OH BOY is he SOMETHIN’. Ramses Vanderslice and I have a brief history together in our youth, ironically dealing with this episode, and as soon as he came into my life… he vanished. Years later, I followed him on Youtube to realize his creative genius. Watching his material from the shadows, secretly wishing I was making content like him, I decided to take the next logical step. Get his ass on the show. And so I did. And so we have. This episode is an adventure of several proportions. We skip down memory lane, we address our greatest fears, we even get a little melodramatic, and much like reaching the end of our lives, we even see God for a little bit. Er - Maybe Satan. My bad.
Captain Death’s “[RAMSES] I Don’t Know What’s Good For Me”(32:16)
Jesus Camp(51:55)
Ramses Vanderslice’s “[MOTIVATION] Only I Know What’s Good For You”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO9CBmC0aqc
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Like all things in life, we eventually come to the end. We have another satisfying episode, here, full of fun little stories to share with your friends around the proverbial campfire.
Is there a wrap-around-narrative like WhereAmI? wanted? Maybe, if you’re willing to settle.
Were some of the stories better than others? Totally, but that’s subjective.
Was this awful like when we did the ABCs? I think not.
I think what is most interesting is how we reflected on these short stories as they progressed, getting both more mature in tone and terror. Each of these stories hits a different aspect of ones’ life. There is a lot to be afraid of here, like there is a lot to be afraid of in life. Keep your eyes peeled, people. You never know when you’re going to be the subject of someone else’s horror story for the internet.
Hangman Games(41:13)
Family(1:14:15)
How to See the Future… And Why You Don’t Want to(1:31:54)
You’re Never Alone, especially in the Dark(2:03:38)
The Least Likely Monster that Haunted my Childhood(2:32:14)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Well. The title says it all. Let me just say, if you’re as disgusted and perturbed about this shit as much as the three of us were, let this be a DISCLAIMER!!
WE READ SOME GROSS SHIT ON THIS EPISODE!!
I DON’T CARE IF THIS IS YOUR KINK. IT’S GROSS. U NASTY.
The first story is a particularly gruesome tale from someone with an interesting occupation and the second story…
Well… the second story is some erotic vore. For those of you who DON’T KNOW - BEST TO JUST SKIP THIS EPISODE - but VORE is someone who finds satisfaction or attraction in being consumed/swallowed. Let’s just agree to disagree on this, as vore is fucking gross and this is probably the grossest fucking story I’ve ever read on this show in my THREE YEARS EXPERIENCE IN DOING SO.
YES, I KNOW THERE IS A SEQUEL STORY. DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.
Enjoy.
I Clean Up Crime Scenes For a Living and today was the Worst Day I’ve ever had at Work(29:42)
Sade Smols(1:22:13)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
We’re back at it. More chronicling of this dude’s weird fucking happenstance. How does one person attract this much strange? This much odd? This much supernatural? I don’t know. Is there going to be a culmination point? Is there going to be a point at all? Is there going to be anything more said at the end of this, other than, “wow, those stories were dope.” I don’t know. I really don’t. And I guess I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’d be okay with that.
BUT HEY, IF THEY HIT US FOR A THIRD ACT TWIST, LET ME BE THE FIRST TO SAY HOOOO-BOY, THIS A GOODUN’.
Bigger Fish(14:38)
The Eighth Orphan(37:16)
No Sleep for the Innocent(1:20:57)
Guardian(1:39:21)
The Worst Thing About Growing Old(1:57:05)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and “MC Chris is dead“ are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
The moon is rising high over Lotsa Pasta tonight,
Friends have gathered close, so hold them tight,
That’s where you’ll find,
That one of a kind…
J.J. The Jet Plane!
A new guest, here on the show, J.J. or Jcubed is someone I’ve known since Lotsa Pasta was born. We’ve been through a lot together, we always push each other to invent and create and be authentic to ourselves as we can as artists. He’s one of the closest friends I made in college, much like Cannibal Siren, so I hope everyone else is ready to take off with this new pilot on board.
Why Sarah Never Sleeps(12:04)
The Machine(31:29)
Eves-dropping through an IP Camera(43:13)
Ouroboros(55:40)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
No, not literally, figuratively! Curiosity is a killer of many things, not just small felines. Listen here, folks, we got a guy who has some stories to tell and each of them is about learning something after the fact, and somewhat wishing you hadn’t learned what you just did. TALK ABOUT HINDSIGHT. WhereAmI? Is here with me, to break down these mysteries, much like we did in his last series BUT HOPEFULLY BETTER, AMIRITE. Let’s dive in and get curiouser and curiouser.
A Curious Mind is a Terrible Curse(21:31)
Gurgles & Bugman(40:18)
Reality is Creepier than Fiction(54:51)
Pranks(1:12:42)
Notes(1:26:47)
Patient Sigma(1:40:31)
Memories(1:54:36)
Cracks & Bones(2:14:43)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Look at who is back so soon, it’s the one and only Cannibal Siren here to take me strolling back down memory lane. First we talk Pokemon, then we talk Stories to Read Alone at Night, and Unsettling Stories in that order. This is a bit of an old fashioned episode, but it’s a welcome return compared to some of our long boy episodes. Always happy to see Siren again, but she needs to stop making me ugly laugh during the show, it’s not very becoming of Death.
Notes on a Story(41:35)
Good Walt(56:01)
Joshua(1:15:07)
Fireflies (1:40:10)
There’s Something Wrong with my Parrot (1:51:43)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Finally. We see the end. This has been some crazy adventure, hasn’t it? It’s Frowns’ longest series yet, at 3 episodes long. Let’s all give him an invisible and unheard round of applause. Great. Now that that’s over with, let’s get through this shortie. We’re back with Pops, Satan, Ms. Hatchetface, and FrankenTeddy. They’re trying to save Sarah from the Eldritch Netherworld because WHAT A TWIST, she’s half Eldritch-Old-Being. What a twist! Let’s see how this shit ends:
What Happens When You Write to Satan Instead of Santa(17:57)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
OUR LONGEST EPISODE YET!
Outta nowhere, teleporting in from North Eastern PA, Gnarly Charlie is here with me today to do a talkshow episode(No stories will be read) but that doesn’t mean we don’t have some awesome topics to cover! In order, we talk about:
Corona Virus, Quarantine, & Cure,
Video Games: DOOM & Resident Evil(mostly),
Conspiracy Theories BIG & smol,
and ALEX JONES.
If you’ve ever been interested in hearing us talk about this stuff or hear our thoughts on things, this is going to be a big episode for you.
This is definitely a FOOD FOR THOUGHT episode.
Stay vigilant, stay safe, stay secure out there, folks!
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Happy 4/20/2020 everyone. It’s been a pretty shitty month. I’ve also been pretty high all month. So you win some, you lose some, I’d say. I’d also say you’re in for a short little funny episode today with me and my brothers: Spum and Kumm. You saw the title, you know what we’re doing. Forewarning, most of this is bullshit.
But it’s fun bullshit :: Not Hot But Spicy Style.
Rough Lobster - The Three(16:44)
Bacon Butts(25:41)
Coronatae(28:51)
An Enormous Boner(43:02)
Ecstatic Egg(51:16)
Cheesebread(55:43)
Koala’s March - Imaginary(1:02:47)
RAH!(1:10:06)
Serious Drinker(1:12:51)
Super Neat Toy(1:15:10)
GET TO DE CHOPPA(1:19:01)
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Welcome to the story that never ends. I don’t know if we’re ever going to do a Christmas episode again. We’ll have 24 before this series ends. I’m here with Frowns McBooHoo continuing the adventure of nameless father protagonist and his daughter Sarah as they deal with parenting, demons, and Satan himself. On today’s episode, we find our heroes reaching the end of their sanity but not the end of the story. No, never that. Instead we get another punch to the dick as this story continues to unfold and bring in more characters as well as reasons to continue. Enjoy!
What Happens When Your Write to Satan Instead of Santa - Continued (22:09)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
We recorded this one a couple months ago cause we were bored and had time. In between then and now SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. The world is ending, everyone is sick, global economic disaster on the horizon, boomers blaming everyone else, zoomers riding this shit out, with us millennials stuck in the middle just kinda ignoring everything. Wait.. so… nothing has changed after all?
Anyways, here’s a fun little episode with Tenron and I just kinda shooting the shit and reading something simple.
Refrigerator in the Woods(29:39)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
I hope everyone is having a nice new year so far. We have some updates to start the episode and then one solid story throughout the entire episode. This is the story of a girl — who complained about life so much she got haunted as fuck. I know, it’s not how you expected me to finish that sentence. But hey, let’s keep it our little secret. It is, just you and me, after all. Let’s call it a date.
When you Wish Upon a Star(22:44)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Merry Christmas, everyone! Heading into the New Year is going to start tough, but life comes first, right? More on that later. Let’s just enjoy the holiday break while we have it. Grab your yuletide logs and crumble that mistletoe in that holly jolly bowl and have a very merry hit to the dome. Frowns is back soon because we know he is - duh - it’s Christmas. He’s here singing ho ho ho to all the hoe hoe hoes, including you and yours - this holiday season. So, hoopty doop and hickory dock, time to suck that Christmas cock.
What happens when you write to Satan instead of Santa(20:58)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
This is it, the final part. The culmination point. The peak, so to speak. It ends well, not to spoil it for you entirely, but this has been a wonderful read between myself and Cannibal Siren so I have to give it the respect it deserves immediately. It may not answer every question, it may not be super surprising or ultimately compelling, but it’s better than lackluster, in my opinion. Let me know what you think!
My ‘Romantic Cabin Getaway’ with my Fiancé isn’t exactly going as planned(18:39)
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CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
You didn’t think I was going to do a 3 year anniversary without Frowns, did you? Maybe you were hoping I would, but that’s too damn bad because he’s my best friend and even if his episodes are fucking messes, they’re still fun and still an integral part of this show. Tonight is a Twilight Zone of a story about alcoholism, isolation, and that cold-bitch WINTER. It’s not necessarily a Christmas episode, so allow us to skip the fanfare, a moment. Nestle up with your honey and some hot cocoa this winter, cause it’s bound to be a LONG and COLD one.
Soft, White Damn(18:15)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
GUESS WHAT, FUCKERS - WE’RE ON SPOTIFY.
DON’T SAY I NEVER DID NOTHING FOR YA.
Let’s head back home, this episode is too much. Some serious stuff is going on up at Pike’s Peak. I’m not too happy with some of the events that transpire, but Cannibal and I are along for the ride, unfortunately. Wait. No. Cannibal isn’t Cannibal. I’ve been tricked. I’ve got got. HALP.
My ‘Romantic Cabin Getaway’ with my Fiancé isn’t exactly going as planned(14:49)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Wow. Three years. I’m speechless. I mean, I’m not. The entire show has always been about how much I can talk and bullshit about anything, but I’m humbled by what this has become. I’ve met wonderful people and strengthened bonds with friends I never thought I’d see again. This show has been such a gift to me - but it’s also a lot of work. As we all know, the things we love are often worth the most work. Regardless, we’ve been doing this for three years. Here’s to the next three!
The Rules and Playing the Game Seven Doors(19:44)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Cannibal Siren and I are going on a spooky adventure and you’re along for the ride, fuckers. We join two hapless suckers in the midst of their vacation before the big wedding day. They’ve decided to take a trip up to the mountains of Colorado for no reason at all whatsoever. Hilarity and spooks ensue. Bundle up in your warmest of parkas, grab your stickiest of bud buddies, and trundle your way through the tundra to join us on Lotsa Pasta.
My ‘Romantic Cabin Getaway’ with my Fiancé isn’t exactly going as planned(30:27)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
The Boys are back in town-Boys are back in town! I mean, we’re home, after all. The first half of this recording took place in California and the latter half took place back home in the lair. You can tell because the parts where we’re in California because we sound about 50% more stoned. We’re a little less stoned in Pennsylvania because LEGALITY and shit. The first hour is dedicated to Horror Nights and fun times in CA, so if you’re not into that — skip to the TOST below!
During the Night(1:06:50)
So They Say(1:12:04)
Grandpa Tim(1:13:04)
The Tundra(1:15:12)
Hi there, Sweetie(1:19:21)
A.M.(1:22:27)
The Feeling(1:23:22)
The Dirty Hat(1:24:51)
La Nuit(1:27:09)
Dark Corners(1:29:15)
A Traveler’s Nightmare(1:31:33)
The Screamer Virus(1:33:03)
The Black Hand(1:35:21)
Birmingham, UK(1:40:54)
Psychic Ability(1:43:25)
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Before you even touch this finale, you better get over to our Youtube and check out the first episode of our Let’s Play series because if that shit doesn’t get enough views, I’m done. Lol I’ll never do another one. It’s too much work. This podcast is easy but that is something else. I can see why other people hire people to edit their stuff because it’s a lot. SO WATCH IT.
Tenron joins me for another emotional ending here on Lotsa Pasta. He’s not too emotional about it but this ending really surprised me. I don’t want to spoil too much but I think I can say that we were both content with the ending and happy with where things ended. Which is NEW. I’ll remember this. Which always means a lot.
Spire in the Woods(32:30)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
This is funny, you ready for this? This is going to be a hoot. I’m finally catching up with my old pal Scutch MacGee and we’re FINALLY breaking down the Game of Thrones last season. It’s probably the most horrifying thing I saw this year, if I’m being honest. If you’re not into us meandering through our depressive Game of Thrones talk, feel free to skip to the time-codes below for the stories I know you crave! Stories full of horror, children, and horrifying children! YAY!
A car accident(1:21:21)
Persuaded(1:33:45)
Eh-Oh(1:39:25)
Why babies are born screaming( 1:53:26)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
I was so zoned out and twisted in Cali this last weekend that I didn’t post this episode on time. This also benefits this episode because WhereAmI? And I are conveniently twisted during this entire recording. This is another text-book-twisted episode with WhereAmI? And we read several stories, some more relevant than others. This one is for the fans and friends who need a pick-me-up this holiday season. Thanks for listening and thanks for being so patient with me as I go through some personal shit, everyone!
Walking Outside the House(21:41)
Crunched Up Paper House(33:58)
Edith’s Memory(45:02)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Tis the season to be spooky, right folks? Comic-Con was dope, Gnarly Charlie got married -bless his soul-, I’m flying out to California this week to go to Halloween Horror Nights in Hollywood, the finale of Spire in the Woods is going to come out the week of Halloween, Tenron Otrin and I are going to release the first LP’s on the Youtube:: It’s one hell of a season! I hope everyone is having a fun-filled October like me, so sit back and enjoy another episode of Tenron and I trying to figure out the point of this series.
Spire in the Woods(10:37)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
You wanna hear us talk about movies? Good. The last one was well-reviewed and got a lotta hits, so here we are doing another one. Mark Rooster and I are back to talk about Rob Zombie’s new film THREE FROM HELL - but we also hop along the board. We talk about Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Ready or Not, House of 1000 Corpses, and Devil’s Rejects as well. We also give special credence to the Mahoning Drive-in, where credit is due. We talk about our times watching Popcorn, Cutting Class, Suspiria, Hausu, Night of the Creeps, Night of the Demons, Jurassic Park, and JAWS! BIG BOARD. LOTS OF HORROR. GOOD TALK.
RIP SID HAIG.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
This episode is Sofa King all over the place. But I love it. And you love it. Or else why would you listen? Back in the states, bringing you an episode I recorded over the summer with one of our newbies, Sofa King, I’m feeling the labor of love as I edit this episode 30,000 feet in the air with a child who I shit-you-not is screaming like some kind of banshee two rows ahead of me and I’m really trying to use my noise cancelling headphones to their utmost of mystical powers. It’s not working. This story is fun, though. It’s fun getting into trouble.
I found a Cell Phone on a Train and now I think I might be in Trouble(24:45)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Tenron Otrin is back for another thrilling episode about adolescent and pre-pubescent attraction, seduction, detraction, addition, subtraction, and rejection. We join our narrator again in the throes of young love and young stupidity as he continues to do not-spooky shit and instead whine about girls. Why do people like this story? I’m starting to suspect reddit no sleep is for lonely asshats. I’m not going to say that I’m disappointed just yet; but we’re fucking getting there. Welcome to Spire in the Woods-meandering the episode.
Spire in the Woods(14:51)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
You know how they say “An Apple a Day, keeps the doctors away?”
Well, this doctor loves apples almost as much as he loves alcoholism. Doctor Enkenstein is back for another episode of fun little stories, jumping all over the Reddit Nosleep map. We land on some goodies, some less than goodies, and some confusies; but that’s the gamble of a random episode like so. It’s a lot of fun, I definitely recommend all of Doctor Enkenstein’s stories, so be sure to check out his other two episodes if you haven’t already.
Thank you for Visiting Jack-In-The-Box(21:33)
We don’t talk about Sarah(30:39)
She’s in the House. Find her(37:52)
Someone is pretending to be MY WIFE(51:28)
My Ex won’t stop Texting Me(59:26)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
To congratulate Frowns on his return home, I thought I’d give him and what the people want.
One of the worst episodes of all time.
Reading one of the worst stories of all time.
Yes. This is Harry Potter Fan-Fiction.
No. This has nothing to do with our show.
Enjoy.
My Immortal(1:20)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Tenron and I are BACK IN THE WOODS and I don’t know if this is literal or metaphorical for being lost in the DENSE WOODS OF PUBERTY. It’s weird reading a story where it’s almost like the narrator is a manipulative little teenage asshole trying to get laid by a girl who is going through some serious personal shit; or If it’s reminding me of how I was when I was younger and my prude girlfriend wouldn’t sleep with me. Should’ve put out more, honestly, hon. Tune in to hear the harrowing tale of awkward boners and disappointed fathers:
Spire in the Woods(23:29)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Cryin’ Hawaiian knows what the kids want. He’s really in tune with this generation. He knows that sometimes when kids don’t listen, and the education system is failing you, the only alternative is -of course- indoctrination! Correct. This isn’t what we expected but that isn’t to say it was bad. Here’s an episode full of stoned rambling and a short little diddy for the boys and girls. When all else fails, join a D&D group.
My best friend texted me during a school lockdown(45:26)
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CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Let’s take a break for a second to announce our new MERCH STORE at:
https://www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolio
You like someone on the show, BUY THEIR FACE!
You like the show? BUY THE SHIRT!
Now then, quickly move forward onto the new episode. It’s another solo, just me and you, baby. You can even watch.. if you want?
Just kidding, this is a podcast! You can’t watch anything but your life drain away before your eyes as we lumber onward toward our inevitable demises!
This story is about a guy who gets an email. It ruins his life. Enough said!
My Life was Ruined because of an Email I never should have Received(10:37)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
This story is TANTALIZING. It’s like a fresh cup of water when you’ve been stuck in a desert all year, next to the sun, and the only thing you have to read is BORRASCA and it’s DISAPPOINTING. This is the opposite of disappointing. I can see now why people had been recommending it for a couple years. This story deserves the love it’s been given, it deserves the appreciation of reddit’s base. Frankly, I’m proud that something like this has broken through the internet and gone on to become something more. Something for us all to be excited about. But more on that later. Settle in with Tenron and I as we embark on yet another journey. Except, this one doesn’t end on the road, this one begins and ends with the spire.
Spire in the Woods(44:48)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Like all good things in life, everything ends. And just like all BAD things in life, sometimes they end for a reason. Well, what about problematic things? If you’ve been listening this long, you know they linger. Today, Django Phillips and I are going to finish our journey to Mt.Doom, I mean, the baby mill, and put an end to this once and for all. Seriously, if there is a part VI, I don’t know what I’d do. I mean, I’d probably read it. But let’s just put a cork in it while we’re ahead. MOVING ON. The epic conclusion of Borrasca happens today, so let’s end this era and come of age, already.
Borrasca(28:38)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Terry the Tickler and Harold Heavy Hands aren’t here for long but we just finished seeing a movie we felt the need to talk about.
And then I remembered there had been like 13 other movies we should ALSO talk about.
And then the episode just kind of became “Let’s talk about horror movies.”
Midsommar(32:38)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Mark Rooster is back with returning guest Alley Cat to discuss fun horror movies we’ve watched and then we jump into a fun story. What’s great about the movie-talk is the fact that Alley Cat hasn’t seen much of the Horror genre to begin with, and conversely, Mark Rooster has arguably seen TOO MUCH. And what’s great about the story is the fact that it harps on the Philadelphia Experiment and pays homage to H.P. Lovecraft, all the while being a competent and satisfying short story about THE MADNESS OF THE BEYOND.
The USS Eldridge(48:41)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
We’re getting closer and closer to the finale effort of CK Walker’s coming of age tale about the mystery, betrayal, and disappointment that it is to be a child burdened by the system. Sam gets up to some shit. Kimber is definitely there. Kyle, not so much. Django Phillips is ready for it to be over. And me, well, I’m just wishing there were more opportunities to hear Jimmy Prescott talk cause I think he’s fucking hilarious. If you’ve been following along this far, you’ll definitely enjoy this episode. If this is new kicks for you, you’ve got some fuckin’ catching up to do. Borrasca(13:15)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!?www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
We got a three-fer! It’s been a while since we’ve had multiple people sit on the couch at once, and I have a couple lined up that I’m excited about, but this one was a request I just HAD to abide by. WHEREAMI?, after we had finished his last series, had said something along the lines of — “Get me on an episode with someone else,” and I had asked who he would like to co-star with the most, and it just so happened that I had already invited this guy into town for a bit when he answered, “Tom Bongbadil.” So, here we are. And on today’s report, we’re reading something I can only compare to childhood nightmare #34:
The Third Parent(29:03)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Pittsburgh has a lot to offer those interested in getting spooked. However, this hotel room may have been the most unexpected spook of all. I walked in, and suddenly a ghost came out of the wall and lied down in the bed beside me. No, this isn’t going to end like episode Ninety-Nine or the Dan Aykroyd scene in Ghostbusters(I wish). No, it’s just my old pal Sir Boo Berry, come to visit me from the beyond. Today we read a story, very simply, about someone named…
Brad(15:00)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.”
Django Phillips is regretting his involvement in this, if he hasn’t already; But luckily for me, he’s chained to the floor in my boiler room. I use to call it my DJANGO-CHAMBO but I’ve recently had to gag him to stifle the screams. Can’t have the neighbors hearing that! Or else he meets my SHINY GENTLEMEN.
We talk about video games for a half hour, but if that isn’t your thing, skip to our chunk of the story below. This is going to be part five of the Borrasca story, but we’re already DEEP in the SHIT, so FOLLOW ALONG, KIDS.
Borrasca(31:58)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Mark Rooster is back in the building or should I say alley? This is fun little story that came out of nowhere. I remember Tenron wanted to read this a while ago, but he got the Left/Right Game sooo… SNOOZE YA LOSE. This story actually has a lot in common with Left/Right Game, now that I think about it. There’s a map. There’s a method. There’s a person who goes missing. There’s a supernatural explanation. And then… IT GETS DIRTY. STRAP IN AND STRAP ON(woah) FOR A DELIGHTFUL TALE OF HORROR… and also 50 some minutes of bullshitting.
My Friend’s Warning about Strange Places in the City(50:49)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Well, here we are. The end of another series. And what a series it has been, eh, WhereAmI? It… has been… something. I don’t know what this something is, yet. I don’t hate it. I don’t love it. And no matter how many times I listen to it, it still doesn’t make too much sense. There are some twists and turns, most questions aren’t answered, some more are raised, even less answered. WHO CARES. Art is subjective, right? But IS IT ART? Not really. Enjoy the finale!
S is for Stranger(10:53)
T is for Twin(27:39)
T is for Text(40:03)
U is for Underground(54:35)
V is for Victim(1:04:38)
W is for Wedding(1:14:18)
X is for Xerosis(1:24:50)
Y is for Yuck(1:40:42)
Z is for Zygosis(1:51:16)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Surprise, surprise, fuckers. I mean, it was a surprise to me too when I realized the author of Borrasca did a follow up continuation to his original narrative. It was an even bigger surprise to Django Phillips, joining me on this journey once again. This time we aim to finish it. Also, we talk about video games and what’s in store for the youtube. If you aren’t subscribed there, be sure to get on that because Lotsa Pasta is expanding! But for the time being, let’s return to our regularly scheduled program.
Borrasca(30:14)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Beam me up, Daddy. Ain’t that right, Cannibal Siren? What do you think they’re gonna do to us? Probe? Butt stuff? Steal our genitals? No matter what, the only thing that matters is: we get off on it. Aliens are crazy to think about. But lots of people think about them. Including guests on this show! Well, here we are for another ALIEN EXTRATERRORESTRIAL special full of meat, bubbles, roots, and body horror. Have fun, y’all!
They’re Made Out of Meat(26:38)
Strange Gliding Object: TRUE STORY(34:02)
My Manager’s Story(38:40)
Bubbles(50:17)
We Know You Are Out There(1:00:18)
The Pilot(1:12:37)
Roots of Change(1:22:00)
My Last Abduction(1:30:15)
The Lake House in New Hampshire(1:38:45)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Where are we at, again, WhereAmI?? Oh yeah, Alphabet time. We’re halfway through it! Will our questions be answered? Unlikely. Will there be more questions raised? Absolutely. The most important question of all, this episode is… Will you go to the Prom with me? YES? YOU MEAN IT? GREAT. Let’s get blazed beforehand.
M is for Moth(37:54)
N is for Neighbor(54:25)
O is for Oxazepam(1:07:14)
P is for Pie(1:18:39)
Q is for Queen(1:35:51)
R is for Radio(1:51:35)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I’ve spent a lot of time on the streets. You might say, I’ve been a bit of a street rat for most of my life. Let me raise that up a notch and introduce you to the new guest, and woman, who eats street rats for breakfast: Alley Cat. She’s joining Frowns McBooHoo(back from a short hiatus) and I(your Captain) on this short journey through space and time and troll pastas and we wish we didn’t read the troll pastas, but we always read the troll pastas, WHY DO WE READ TROLL PASTAS?
I am currently sitting locked in a resort room in the Dominican Republic. Right after I hit submit, here, my wife and I will attempt to run. And I really hope this goes through(27:07)
The Perks of Working in a Funeral Home(52:37)
A Random Encounter(1:04:36)
A Game of Chess(1:10:42)
A Walk in the Park(1:16:58)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Hark, who goes there? Ah, it is you, brother! Where hath thou found thyself, old man, Scutch MacGee? I’m done talking like that, but we’re not done talking as Scutch comes back for another episode of fun discussions and short BRUTAL scary stories. I’d say, above all his other episodes, these hurt the most. Misdirection is the name of the game, and it is unforgiving. This is not going to go how you expect it to.
Fireflies(37:10)
Illumination(51:07)
Making Faces(1:10:06)
Autopilot(1:22:42)
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
WHEREAMI? No, really, where am I? Have we figured out what’s going on? Absolutely not. Are we getting closer? Absolutely. In this part 2 of the ABCs series, WHEREAMI? and yours truly get a few more inches deeper into this mystery. We’re being introduced to flashbacks and revelations we didn’t see coming, so we’re tossing all sorts of theories out there. The only problem is, we’re starting to feel a bit like sinking in quicksand, I hope something pulls this all together in the end! HERE’S TO HOPING! Gin-gin.
G is for Gremlin(14:38)
H is for Humorous(33:30)
I is for Inn(54:24)
J is for Junior(1:11:33)
K is for Keg(1:24:28)
L is for Limbs(1:55:38)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Wake up, wake up, boys and girls, the cock-a-doodle-doo of a new guest is here to bring some much needed knowledge to the podcast. Mark Rooster watches horror movies more than I do and talks about them on his own website under the pseudonym Clyde Burrows for www.how-many-beers.blogspot.com and I can’t recommend it enough. He has such a well-attuned taste for the genre that I know he’s going to fit in RIGHT AT HOME here at Lotsa Pasta! On today’s episode, I’m bringing Mark Rooster in with one of my favorite viral spooks of all time…
Dionaea House(36:53)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
High School was crazy. I’ve had the pleasure of growing up with a majority of the people on this podcast and one of the most nostalgic is definitely Doctor Enkenstein. He and I have had more than a handful of crazy and terrible experiences with one another and by ourselves when we were younger; so much so, that whenever we hang out and start doing totally legal things with one another, it’s all we can talk about. Remember that time? Oh, I member. We talk for a good while about being kids and having sex and our drunken antics and then we read a story about the scariest thing of all: Math.
Eighth Grade Math(44:46)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
COUNTRY ROAD. TAKE ME HOME. TO THE PLACE. I BELOOOO—Woah. Tenron, what’s that in the distance? Is that The End? It must be, we’ve been doing this for so god damn long. It makes sense that we’ve finally made it here. This has been, by far, one of the best stories we’ve ever read on the show. If you’ve had the pleasure to join us for all 5 parts, you’ll no doubt agree with us that this has been both a wild and crazy ride. Join Tenron Otrin and I for the final leg of our journey, on the road, with the last two parts of…
Has Anyone Heard of the Left/Right Game?(19:42)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
WHEREAMI? Is back and we’re starting a series. I KNOW, LEFT RIGHT GAME ISN’T EVEN DONE YET AND WE’RE STARTING ANOTHER ONE. This is interesting. It seems like the town in question to most of these stories has a lot going on. There’s a weird dude and a lot of damaged people and my guest and I aren’t sure which way this is gonna go; but we like it.
A is for Alzheimers(15:04)
B is for Break-In(23:35)
C is for Cremation(28:12)
D is for Dog House(43:27)
E is for Ezekiel(56:47)
F is for Feed(1:15:06)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!?www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
We’ve got a new guest on the show today, folks. He’s coming to us all the way from Philadelphia and he’s brought his own alcohol! We’re a little twisted, but what’s more twisted than us is this fucking story we read. It is easily one of the best stories we’ve read on the podcast, so buckle in with a nice bottle of Donkey-Elbow and butter yourself up for some twists and turns.
Plot Holes(31:58)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
MOVING RIGHT ALONG, IN SEARCH OF GOOD TIMES AND GOOD NEWS, WITH GOOD FRIENDS YOU CAN’T LO-Wait- Where’s Tenron? He was just here a few minutes ago..Oh, he’s just giving the gurken a jerkin to some of those hot Asian models he follows on IG. Sweet guy, he means well, he really does. It’s just hard to be on this road trip with him when neither of us have any clue where this is going. Much like time, the road waits for no one.
Has Anyone Heard of the Left/Right Game?(20:00)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: ?CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. ?Follow: @cryo-chamber?Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs. ?Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Guess who’s here to grace us with his fucking presence? It’s the transient Transylvanian himself, Disco Dracula. Just like any other Disco Dee Episode, we start off with something stereotypical before diving into some truly meaty shit. And today’s episode is a FEAST, featuring another Disney Nosleep story before we thank the King of Horror himself, by reading one of his best short stories to date.
Working at Disney(38:47)
The Jaunt(1:04:10)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Frowns is back from the great white north. He’s here for some of that SAME OL SHIT. It’s been a while, right? 2018 was garbage for a lot of us and hopefully this (recorded in November 2018) being the first episode to air in 2019, should be a good reminder of what the show originally started as: Two best friends. Sitting on a couch. Takin’ a couple bowls. And reading some spooky stories.
Something Horrible is Happening to Me on Pokemon Go Right Now(16:28)
Something Horrible is Happening to Me on MySpace Right Now(41:19)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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It's not easy being on your own. You can fall in a hole. Get lost. And possibly never get out. That's why i'm afraid of spelunking. And commitment. THIS IS RELEVENT. This is also the first episode i've read a story ENTIRELY ALONE. Ted is a crazy guy that loves cave diving. I'm a crazy guy that loves crazy guy stories. Perfect.
Ted the Caver(9:50)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM. KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM. KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY. AND KNOW WHEN TO - FUCK. Tenron, where that sweet Lambo go? The group is left shooketh after the death of their first member. Wherever shall we go from here? Simple. We move on. Because KNOW WHEN TO RUN.
Has Anyone Heard of the Left/Right Game?(19:54)
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
By the end of this episode, you're gonna need to get your genitals checked, folks, cause we've got a Doctor in the office. He's here to tell us how to sip scotch, sex the ladies, and suck a mean story off. Dr.Enkenstein is here to help me get through a smattering of creepy; hopping all over the board, reading sources from all over the interwebs. Hold onto your butts, kids. It's going to be a bumpy night.
The Dating Game(19:07)
Three Girls Came into my ER Last Night and I have No Idea What They Are and I am Violating the Shit Out of HIPAA Right Now(1:05:07)
We Never Knew We had a Basement(1:20:01)
Unlucky Samaritan(1:25:27)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Hold the phone, Django. This is the final part of Borrasca? That was quick! Do you have any better idea of what's going on? Is there going to be a tasty twist? OH, YEAH. YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR, MISTER. I didn't see that coming.
No, really, I didn't. I didn't see it coming SO MUCH -in fact- that I didn't even acknowledge how FUCKED it really was. We had to have Django back a couple weeks later just to re-analyze the entire ending! Maybe we should be more straight-edge during recordings... NAH.
Borrasca(13:10)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Who's that creepin' outside my window, yo? OH! OH, MY! It's just Cryin' Hawaiian, back for another fun episode. For todays smattering a la creep, we bring you the happy neighbor you never asked for: Mr. Smiley. Why do you think they call him that? I happen to think it's a bit on-the-nose. Voyeurism +10.
Mr. Smiley(32:44)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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ON THE ROAD AGAIN. I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO--wait. Where are we? This place looks messed up, Tenron. Pull over, I have to tinkle. Okay, maybe not here. Alice sure has gotten herself into an odd situation here in Jubilation. We also lose a member of our caravan. WHO WILL SURVIVE TO THE END? If there is an end... I have no idea.
Has Anyone Heard of the Left/Right Game?(26:40)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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You're back for more, huh? Well, strap in! It's gonna be a doozy. To be honest, Django and I don't really remember much from part one. Maybe drinking and smoking and dueling dragons isn't the best idea when you're reading a chilling, over-long narrative about children and their coming-of-age spooks. ANYWAYS, HERE'S PART TWO:
Borrasca(19:00)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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There's a fork in the road coming up, Tenron. Which way do we go? Left or Right? Either way, we're along for the ride. On today's episode we start a story of epic proportions and unprecedented mystery and intrigue. I've heard about this story for a long time, but i never expected it to play out like this. I love a good road trip, how about you? Let's just hope that this road doesn't lead to HELL.
Has Anyone Heard of the Left/Right Game?(26:32)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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We all need a little Vitamin C in our lives. The C just stands for Creeps. Bringing the creeps is what we got on today's episode, with a healthy dose of spooks, courtesy of Tom Bongbadil. This is one of those spitting examples of a great start to an otherwise OK story. Don't get me wrong, it's good. But I'm starting to see a trend. NoSleep writers need to learn how to close. We need some closers. Vitamin C for Closers.
I am a Grown, Logical Man Crying Tears of Horror, Right Now // The Story of Her Holding an Orange (12:58)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Happy Halloween, fuckers. To start the new season off with a kick in the dick, we're starting what is SUPPOSEDLY one of the best CreepyPastas ever written. I'm here with Django, he chose this one. So, if it sucks, blame it on him. We talk with Harold Heavy Hands for a little about Video Games and Feng Min. Have a happy holiday filled with much terror!
Borrasca(29:07)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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First episode post ONE-HUNDO and we've already got a newbie! Seems like we've attracted demonic attention this time around, because joining Deputy Dewey and I in a damnable EP is Lanky Lucifer. I already know he likes breakfast food, so he should be fine with a heaping of TOST to start things off!
Nonexistence(21:00)
Leon Czolgosz(23:56)
The Real Monsters(27:59)
The Day Everything Clicked(30:14)
The Walmart Prophet(31:51)
Snuff Film(35:16)
Black Eyed Children(40:29)
Black Eyed Kids in Kansas(47:30)
Please Come(54:22)
The Suicide King(59:08)
House of Mine(1:02:57)
Jinx(1:11:51)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
We finally made it. Triple Digits. I don't know how much longer this ride is gonna be, but we ain't getting off any time soon. UNLESS I DIE. But DO Captains ever TRULY die? Sure.
Today we read a momentous story for a momentous occasion. It's about a dumb college kid with his N64, buying shit from weird individuals that don't even look like they're having a garage sale, and how THAT can ruin your life. It's also about how shitty Majora's Mask is. lol
Ben Drowned(22:25)
Stick around after the story for a quick 100 Episode RECAP, where we talk about the show and how far we've come with everyone over the last 2 years!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!
"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Harold Heavy Hands is back and it looks like he's taking a page out of Terry the Tickler's book because this man makes more off-stage noises than a circus in Tennessee. One noise he can't make? Baby noises. And that's where Captain Death comes in, speaking in tongues like an infant orphanage in the Balkans. Believe me, this is relevant, just read the title of the first story.
A Man Brought My Family Kool-Aid, and I Think My Wife just Killed Our Baby(32:14)
The Long List(1:08:36)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Cannibal Siren is back for more monster-fucking, but THIS TIME, we're actually reading a story about monster-fucking instead of just talking about it, you Shape of Water-Lovers out there. You like ghosts? You ever sleep with one before? You haven't? That'd be one freaky-ghost-bed.
So, yeah... I've been Intimate with a Ghost(29:22)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Punxsutawney Trill and Deputy Dewey are back to take a Cleveland steamer on my chest. Metaphorically, I mean. We talk for a GOOD, long while about The Walking Dead and a game I made up before jumping into this story, so if you wanna skip the small-talk, be sure to check the timecode below! This story is about a man who takes a shit. A shit he will soon never forget.
The Scariest Shit I’ve Ever Taken/Seen(1:05:47)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Spum & Kumm are back and ready for more TOST and I'm not talking about breakfast. The Other Side is a -now- non-existent tumblr that use to collect short and creepy stories from all over the internet. This isn't the first time we've read them, it's not even the fifth time we've read them. I've lost count. Everyone loves TOST!
Don’t Look Behind You(10:28)
You are Not the One(12:46)
The Good Ghost(15:24)
Recycled(16:59)
Piggy-Back(18:37)
Children on the Bus(20:25)
In the Underground(22:27)
To My Regret(25:05)
On a Rainy Day(28:14)
The Seven Steps(29:18)
This Time(31:52)
The Chance(34:29)
Miasma(37:24)
Thomas’ Reflection(39:19)
The Long Detour(40:47)
Eternal Dream(42:50)
Don’t Open Your Eyes(44:00)
Happy Thirty-Third Birthday(45:54)
The Toolbox(47:33)
Olfactory(48:35)
Now, What Was I Doing?(50:18)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Tom Bongabadil only appears when we need him the most. Think dank thoughts, only then may Tom spread his wings. He's here to experiment on some new shit. Not Hot but Spicy Forums have provided us with two previous cool episodes featuring guest A Bunch of Baby Ducks, but this is the first time we read NHBS with someone else. I hope Ducks doesn't mind; lest we incur their WRATH.
Drain Lady 8:44
The Patch 30:57
Rotting Meat 48:02
Intruders 59:43
Telephone Man 1:06:35
Ghostly Phone Sex 1:13:05
Sealed Window 1:15:23
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Tenron Otrin is here to talk about his slendy-daddy; And i'm not talking biologically. Yes, the kinky way. Slenderman is a spook-daddy to a lot of us here at Lotsa Pasta. Slenderman is probably a spook-daddy to many. In fact, if you're listening to this, he's probably already left his impression on you, I assume. We don't talk about the movie on this one, but you can bet your sweet bippy that Tenron and I have some not-so-delicate words about that "film." I put "film" in quotations because that WAS NOT a movie. I'm... so disappointed.
Knock in the Night(30:52)
What Lurks in the Back Woods(42:01)
The Thing in the Yard(59:15)
NeedleTeeth(1:17:05)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Frowns is back to figure out how to adopt a child. He's interested in getting a little Asian at some point and speaking in a terrible accent its entire life so they grow up with the wrong impression of how to communicate with others. It's a different attempt at perpetuating a stereotype, I will admit.
Anywho, I hope you've listened to Episode Eighty-Eight, or else you're gonna be mighty confused.
Confused like a little Asian kid who's been raised wrong their entire life.
The Lucienne Twins(13:13)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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We got two boys ready to eat chips while I'm recording and I'm not gonna stand for it. I'm gonna sit, cause today we're covering some crazy weird shit. Get ready for a cross-country episode, cause we're going on a fucking road trip! Seeing the most haunted that the U.S. of A has to offer. Party in the USA blasts until your ear drums bleed
"Most Haunted Locations in Each of the 50 States" from Places You'll See(22:48)
"6 Most Haunted Places in the U.S." from The Huffington Post(57:03)
"PA Urban Legends" from Only in Your State (1:07:25)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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What's this? Is this a boiler room? Or perhaps a Preschool corridor? In other words, WHEREAMI? is back and he's taking us to somewhat familiar territory -it seems. We've got two spooky tales on this frightful episode, so buckle up and join us for this ride. Maybe there will be dreams? Maybe there will be nightmares? Maybe there will be buggies? I don't know. I don't even know where I am. People should learn to stop expecting me to know things.
I Don't Sleep Anymore(25:48)
The Ant King(1:15:44)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Cryin' Hawaiian is back to finish what he started: A mediocre tale about two bitches and their ouija board. I feel like I've said it a million times at this point, as early as episode 34 or 35 and as recent as 66 or 89: Don't fuck with which you can't comprehend! You might just dial a collect call... TO HELL.
A Ouija Board is Not a Good Idea; Ever(20:16)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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I bet you didn't know that Frowns and I look alike. Some would even say that we're twins. Twinning! Part one of this story is about twins with a crazy connection; the only connection Frowns and I have is our love for both weed and expensive food and drink. This is only the first part of a really great story, so be sure to come back for more; I know Frowns will. He just loves getting sloppy seconds. Oh, and we read the story for Channel Zero Season 4!
I Found a Hidden Door in my Cellar and I Think I've Made a Big Mistake(19:06)
The Lucienne Twins P.1(33:14)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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I just rolled a 420 on spoops and the DM just said I skyrocketed to new levels of horror. jk this story is nothing new. I mean. it is. because we haven't read much about ouija boards yet. I've never "played" with a ouija board. I don't know if I ever will. It just seems like a bad idea. Who really wants to make a collect call to the other side, not knowing who may pick up? it's more like chat-roulette, now that I think about it.
A Ouija Board is Not a Good Idea; Ever(22:06)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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What's wrong Django? Why don't you smile for me? Nothing? Well, then, let's peruse the internet for bullshit legends and monsters. We'll talk about video games for a little. Read some stories for a little. Having fun yet? No? You want to show me something? Oh, that's one fugly dog, yo.
Binary DNA(28:41)
Smile.jpg(45:24)
Grifter(1:03:31)
Gateway of the Mind(1:08:38)
Wristbands(1:20:40)
Mirrors(1:23:29)
The Green Man(1:25:44)
The Big Head-O(1:30:28)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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What's that Tenron? You wanna read a story about zomboes? Well, I mean. I guess we can try. We never quite know what we're getting into, here. Sometimes a story sounds promising and then dissolves into unmitigated garbage: ebola garbage. Anyone wanna go to Africa? It's okay, we'll come back totally fine and inconsequentially glossed over.
21 Day Quarantine P.1(36:46)
Sterilize Before Reading(53:58)
They Hunger(1:07:42)
21 Day Quarantine P.2(1:26:11)
21 Day Quarantine P.3(1:51:34)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Disco Dracula is here to help share in some Schwartz. He and I go way back and so does our history with this material, but be sure to listen til the end; after we finish the book we also read some GHOST stories. Paranormal investigations to regular old house hauntings. He may not want to talk about it, but, hey, WHY SHOULD WE CARE. Let's get spoopy.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark(24:55)
The Day I Started Believing in Ghosts(56:00)
I Once Asked A Famous Ghost Hunter What His Scariest Moment was and This was his Story(1:05:17)
The Little Ghost(1:17:52)
We're All Smiling(1:21:45)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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We have two new guests on this episode, featuring one of the better and more funny stories we've read in a while. Punsutawney Trill and Deputy Dewey are here to help me read this perfect lil story for the three of us. It's all about some dudebros fighting a special CreepyPasta native often forgotten: THE RAKE. Sit back, spark it up, and let us take you on a special adventure. The most special kind of adventure there is: Life and Love. Dudebro Love, to be exact.
Yo, Dude, Do You Own a Dog?(19:43)
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CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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We're going BACK in time to the late 90's to visit the inspiration to all our childhood nightmare's with Alvin Schwartz's first volume and compilation effort. I'm here with someone who somewhat remembers this book from his past(A Bunch of Baby Ducks) and someone who was never wanted to horrify the shit out of himself as a child(Mr. SkellyBones). With our powers combined... we realize how incredibly dated some of these stories are and how our nostalgia is often just that: nostalgia.
A Pasta with Over-Used Cliches N Shit(19:18)
A Creepy Midnight Chat(20:50)
7 Corners(22:16)
Skelletom World Green-Text(24:12)
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark(25:16)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Terry is back and the TICKLIN' has resumed. He's been off ticklin' the world with his words ever since episode forty-nine, but those months were spent becoming more POWERFUL THAN EVER. He's DONE with this realm and he's ready to conquer the DIGITAL; as it HAS BEEN FORETOLD. We read a bunch of internet-computer based creeps:
Yeah, so Quit Asking(31:00)
Pale Luna(34:05)
Funnymouth(47:04)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Tenron Otrin is back, after a short respite to break from all the whistlers drama we had previously recorded(episodes 59, 60, and 74) which is seriously some of the best material we've ever read. Join us now for some of the not-best material we've ever read from r/nosleep. It's not hard to realize that the South Pole kinda... sucks? This story acts as some kind of unnecessary explanation to add gas to the "south pole sucks" fire.
I Regret Ever Working in the South Pole(29:56)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Frowns is back, but this time, shit's real.
Like, for real this time. Shit is real, for real.
We're reading one of the most prolific, renowned nosleep stories of all time. This is THEE CLOSEST this podcast will EVER come to an audiobook level quality, and i hope everyone enjoys it.
Penpal(13:41)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Gnarly Charlie is back after FIFTY-NINE episodes away.
What the fuck, dude.
Anyways, we talk about some of our favorite conversation topics ever: ALIENS. This has no real connection to ExtraTERRORestrial I(with Cryin' Hawaiian) but it's another ALIEN episode, SO WHATEVS.
We talk for a while about aliens, historical evidence, fiction, and recent adaptations before getting to one long story about a changeling and his adoring family:
There's Something Wrong with Dad(39:54)
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Scutch MacGee is here to tell us all how afraid of everything he is; Again. But we're huge nerds, so the intro is full of nerd talk. Reading stories isn't TOP priority on Scutch episodes, if you haven't already figured that out from his first two episodes. We do read some stories, tho:
Daddy, Are You Awake?(41:50)
Pete the Moonshiner(47:16)
Kids in the Dark(54:34)
He Does Birthdays(1:06:47)
You(1:30:53)
Awake(1:34:19)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Django Phillips is here to travel the world with me like a depressed Owen Wilson. On this episode we cover random geographical based stories ranging from stupid-ass to confusing. Django gets super baked and has a fun time. I get super baked and have an okay time. It's mostly bullshit. But bullshit can be fun? Let's get spoopy, y'all.
Hell House(13:17)
Unit 232(20:17)
People are Disappearing in Northern Canada(27:02)
There's Something Dangerous Living near the Power Plant in Bridgeport, CT(31:51)
The Dyatlov Pass Incident: TRUE(38:10)
At the Lake(40:40)
The Devil's Hole(44:04)
Something Huge is going on in China Right Now(49:09)
The Man at the Fork(56:16)
The Boiler Room(59:26)
The Cage of Seoul(1:01:22)
The Last Words of an Explorer(1:02:58)
Harmony(1:11:20)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Cannibal Siren is back for her third episode and this one is our first ONLINE recording! She's over in Philly and I'm over here in HELL, so it's hard to meet sometimes. Like her other episodes we read more Stories to Read Alone at Night here, while discussing relevant things like Fish-Dicks, Monster-Fucking, and Guillermo Del Toro:
The Trawl(21:58)
Mr. Stringy(37:06)
Floyyd(1:01:20)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Gestalt is here to tuck us in --AGAIN. He's got some good bedside manner, or else, why would he be there? UNDER MY BED, WHISPERING UP AT ME. 4/20 Blaze-It release status. So, I know you're already gucci from the ghostly gnocci. Why am I talking, you know why you're listening to this episode. Because you listened to the first part! Part one is episode 68. Obviously, listen to that first.
Bedtime(23:05)
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Surprise, motherfuckers. Tenron and I are back. It was brought to my attention, after Parts One and Two(Episodes 59 and 60) that there was a THIRD part to the Whistler story; but this one told from another perspective.
Sattle in. Roll up a whistlin' dixie. Spark it to your dome.
Cause it's gonna be a BUMPY ride.
Bill's Account of the Whistlers(9:35)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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We got two newbies ready to have their Creepypasta virginities plucked from that tree of knowledge, so let's be sure to show 'em around, eh, Frowns? Today we read a bunch of TOST and if you don't know what that is, you haven't been paying attention.
The Watchers Among Us(19:16)
Her Side of the Bed(21:31)
Picture Day(22:52)
Childhood Superstitions(24:49)
Roulette(27:06)
Sleepover(28:58)
Missed Calls(30:33)
Peripheral Vision(32:00)
Baby Doll(33:33)
Copies(35:48)
The Railroad(37:13)
The Amityville Incident(40:10)
A Pile of Photographs(42:39)
Flipbook(46:52)
Operation Wandering Soul: TRUE(49:33)
A Wonderful Place(51:44)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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What's that Sir Boo Berry? You found these tapes in your parents' attic? What do you think is on them? Your miraculous conception? Let's check it out!
Today we read a series called DAD'S TAPES and NO, they're not the naughty kind.
GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.
Dad's Tapes(12:13)
Are You Still There, Friend?(1:42:00)
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WHEREAMI? No, seriously, where are we? Prison?! AW FUCK.
Well, this story is pretty fucking nuts. Hell in a Cell with a whole new meaning. The Captain and WhereAmI? conquer the horrors of correctional facilities and the spoopy events that entail within all in this one story. If you liked his other episodes, you're bound to enjoy:
New Fish(12:42)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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We got a new guest, errybody! This episode features baby from the Bronx himself, Tom Bongbadil: Longtime Friend and Never-Listener. No relation to the JRR Tolkien character who randomly shows up in Fellowship of the Ring for a fucking chapter. HERE ARE SOME STORIES:
There is Nothing Wrong in East Flatbush, Brooklyn(10:51)
Three Signs You May be an Introvert and How to Cope(18:48)
WikiLeaks Rejected a State Department Document and Demanded that I Destroy It(26:00)
My Street was Blocked Off and Guys in Hazmat Suits were in my Neighbor's House(37:25)
In the Shower(47:53)
Cabinet(49:00)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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You know what's better than 68? 69?! I mean, technically speaking, not really. This episode, with Frowns McBooHoo, is quite literally a shit-show. Admittedly, it was originally episode 57 or 58 but I pushed it back until I couldn't push no mo! I don't know if there's much more I can say about it other than this episode is a fucking mess.
It's Hard to Clean the Blood Out of the Crotch of a Fur Suit(9:57)
Soft Teeth(23:00)
My Trouble with Fairies(33:20)
WarioLand 3(45:20)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Gestalt is here again to tuck us in for a nice lil night of spoops. This pretty much feels like the first time we're reading a genuine narrative about ghosts haunting a house. Yeah, we've read short stories about ghosty-ghosts but this is the first time we're witnessing a multilayered narrative about -what may be- several ghosts haunting a singular location. Let's get Poltergeisted:
Bedtime(20:00)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode sixty-seven has Scutch MacGee shaking in his britches. He loves his children, but GOD is he afraid of them. So, naturally, I base all the stories in this episode around this fear. If he has to face it, we might as well make an episode out of it and face this fear together. You can no longer scare us, kids! Well... Er--Maybe.
Daddy, Wake Up(17:15)
Don't Lie to Your Kids, Trust Me, They Know(32:33)
I am a Good Parent(43:33)
The Toy Doctor(52:05)
Genetic Memory(1:08:30)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode sixty-six sees the return of Space Cowboy on the horizon. Like the three kings to baby Jesus, he comes bringing gifts like Ouija Boards and DankerAlls. Only this baby AIN'T Jesus. This baby is from Satan himself and he's here to bring about judgement day along with some instructions on how to contact him if you ever need a buddy.
A Deal with the Devil(16:11)
The Devil Game(24:55)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode sixty-five with returning guests Django Phillips and Strawberry Shortcake is super special to me, not just because we have awesome readers, but because this is the FINALE of something we started with Django's first episode(four) and have only now come to conclude: Search and Rescue Logs.
Found the Bees(12:35)
Where the Snow isn't Cold(16:45)
Why I don't Hike anymore(38:00)
The Woods are Black(50:10)
Park Ranger Warning You to Stay Safe and to Leave Your Flashlight at Home(1:05:30)
US Forest Search and Rescue Logs(1:21:25)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode sixty-four sees guest Cryin' Hawaiian back in the frame and more stoned than ever as we sit down to discuss... ALIENS. This is our first episode dedicated to those old gods from other dimensions or deep beyond the stars of our cosmos, so sit back, spark it up, and get SPACED.
The Thing that Stalks the Fields(16:38)
There's Something Alien in the Cemetery in Norwalk, CT(26:13)
Gods in the Mountains(34:36)
Bits and Pieces(51:50)
The Legends of the Flatwoods Monster(57:35)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Sixty-Three has guest A Bunch of Baby Ducks back for another solo episode reading the old forum "Not Hot but Spicy:" A series of unconnected original shorts presented by guest writers. Anything from ghosts to monsters to killers, NHBS got that shit. We GOT AROUND. So Spice.
Not Hot but Spicy stories(15:30)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Sixty-Two has guest reader WhereAmI? back for his second outing and this one is ONE LONG STEP FOR MAN and an even more GIANT LEAP for our altered states. You'll understand. Hey, we read another BIG story on his episodes, so GET USE TO IT.
Oddkids(22:00)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Sixty-One sees famously spontaneous guest Disco Dracula back for another episode. In this episode we talk for a little bit about IT(2017). We talk about True Blood and American Horror Story BULLSHIT. We detail our trip to Pittsburgh: Night of the Living Dead and Last Podcast on the Left LIVE(2nd time). Then we dive into some stories. The usual DiscoDee malarky.
My Girlfriend and I are the Perfect Couple(14:05)
Never Sleep with Crazy(25:19)
I Buried my Fiancee on What should have been Our Wedding Day(32:00)
Guys, my Baby just Died lol(40:26)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Sixty features guest Tenron Otrin back to finish what he started. Ruth and Bill have made it to Red Hill but things are not as they seem. Join us for some mind-blowing twists and turns and then some real discussion at the end, but be sure to listen to Fifty-Nine first, cause this is PART TWO, BABY.
Ruth's Account of the Whistlers(13:55)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Fifty-Nine features guest Tenron Otrin back for another awesome episode where we tackle another HUGE and serious story. This one is most well known as Whistlers, tackling the tale of Ruth on her failed expedition. This is part one, so sit back and start whistlin' dixie, cause this shit is wild.Â
Bought a Camping Backpack from an Estate Sale and Found these Pages Inside(20:40)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.Â
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Episode Fifty Eight features guest Frowns McBooHoo, with host Captain Death, back for part THREE of another year's Christmas Special! This holiday season we tackle MUCH better stories than episodes Five and Six from last year, but HEY, here we are. Hope you all have a Happy Holiday and get nogged and listen to some Christmas Spoops!
Elf on the Shelf(8:18)
My Christmas Tree is Killing Me(20:40)
Red Christmas(28:54)
The Best Christmas Ever(40:44)
The Christmas Spirit(47:57)
A Spycam in my Christmas Tree Caught More than Just Santa(55:30)
Christmas Land(1:03:00)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
The especially creepy christmas ambience is thanks to
the youtube user Myuuji
www.youtube.com/channel/UCiSKnkKCKAQVxMUWpZQobuQ
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Fifty-Seven has guest Sir Boo Berry back for another exciting episode where we follow up a series from a story we read on his last episode(forty-two). We start by talking about a horror convention and our first early impressions of IT, but we quickly get into reading some stories and theorizing its ambiguity.
These are the Last Texts my Brother Sent Before He Went Missing(23:32)
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Episode Fifty-Six has guest Disco Dracula return for a very special announcement. Among other news not dealing with his sex life, this episode sees the return of episode Fifty-Four's form of talking a whole shit ton and then reading two stories and then talking a little bit more. This episode is wholly dedicated to the discussion of IT before the 2017 release, having read the cancelled 2015 script when a different actor and director were attached to bringing Pennywise to the silver screen. Anyways. Enjoy some stories:
String Theory(53:44)
Mushy Stuff(1:04:20)
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Episode fifty-two features a newbie in a slew of many after the 50th special, the first being: Cryin' Hawaiian. I know what you're thinking. What does a Hawaiian have to cry about? Haunted motels, Gas Stations, and Hitch-Hikers for starters. He'll fit right in, here at Lotsa Pasta.
Room 401(21:35)
Arizona(42:58)
The Reason I Don't Pick Up Hitch-Hikers anymore, is also the same Reason I Need a New Car(1:03:13)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-Two has guest reader Sir Boo fuckin' Berry back FROM THE PAST. It's been a thirty episode hiatus for this MF, so let's kick back and relax and get all these Phone-call-911-spoops.
Last Texts my Brother Sent Me before He Went Missing(9:23)
A Series of Fucked Up Texts from my Roommate(14:00)
The Disappearance of Ashley, KS(21:34)
I'm a Former 911 Operator and this is probably my Weirdest Call(33:15)
Another 911 Call(37:20)
A 911 Operator Warning Everyone to Stay Safe(43:16)
I'm a 999 Police Emergency Dispatcher(50:28)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-Five has guest Harold Heavy Hands back for a quick CLAWS special and I'm talking about Santy Claws; I'm talking big, MEATY CLAWS. Big ol' talon toe-nail-CLAWS. I mean, we read a couple stories that mention having claws in them?
My Wife and I Discovered the Terrifying Truth about the Birds' Nests on our Property(4:08)
11 Miles(19:48)
You Meet such Interesting People on the Gas Station Graveyard Shift(37:00)
A Funny Thing Happened(44:51)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-Six has guest A Bunch of Baby Ducks in for a solo DOGGO filled episode where we read from a specific brand of online creepypasta storytelling. Something called "Not Hot but Spicy," this episode is dedicated to them and of course, them doggos:
Not Hot but Spicy stories(9:30)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode forty-nine sees the return of Terry the Tickler to discuss what may be societally accepted as the most horrible thing to witness: the death of our pet animals. Which is why all of these stories mentions animals and death! Sounds fun, right?
So, uh, There's Something Weird about my Refrigerator(16:02)
The Paper-Thin Woman(31:19)
My Neighbor(32:30)
My Dog was Lost for 3 Days, What Came Back wasn't my Dog(34:38)
I've had my Dog since the Day I was Born, All 31 Years(56:11)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-Seven has new guest Strawberry Shortcake reminiscing of the simple camping times with Django Phillips, who's gone camping like maybe once. All these stories deal with creepy woods or creepy camping or creepy bullshit in general:
The Big Scary House in the Woods(21:52)
I Found Something in the Camp Lake 20 Years Ago(27:48)
I Watched a Video Clip of a Camping Trip my Friends and I Never Actually Went on(38:51)
US Search and Rescue Forest Logs(52:34)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-One has guest reader Gestalt back for another kick-ass reading, but this time with a single narrative; But first, we gotta talk about Alien Covenant and Horror Movies. Psychosis is the story we read, and it takes up pretty much the entire episode SO ENJOY.
Psychosis(27:27)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-Four has co-host Django Phillips back for another episode where we read a KILLER story and some more usual Django Bullshit. We start with a catch-up finishing story to episode 31 and finish strong with the US Forest Search and Rescue Ish:
Confessions of a Deep Sea Diver P.3(23:20)
Have You Seen this Painting of a Hallway?(36:38)
Search and Rescue Logs(1:08:40)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Fifty. This number. We made it to this number.
Okay, well, here are some spoopy Halloween stories, CAUSE IT'S HALLOWEEKEND.
DAXFLAME's Spooky Halloween Story(17:45)
Halloween Fever(18:55)
Tainted Candy(58:41)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-Eight has returning guest Frowns McBooHoo doing that asian voice he loves to do a whole bunch--So there's that. There's like maybe three stories in this episode, so it's a pretty straightforward listen.
Get it? Straight. Forward. Two things Frowns isn't:
Something Horrible is Happening to Me on Grindr(6:21)
I Got a Sister for my Seventh Birthday(25:55)
A Pimp Named SlickBack(37:30)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode 51 shows the conclusion of the Halloween weekend with co-host of the episode, Django Phillips, discussing our Halloween traditions and what the season hath brought. These stories aren't so much themed about the fun of Halloween night as it is about the Horror surrounding Halloween, in general. So, enjoy this After-Halloween-Halloween-Special:
November 1st(8:53)
My Wife: The Artist(13:47)
Ethan's Halloween Mask(25:22)
The Last of the Trick or Treaters(34:44)
30 Years Ago, my Neighbor's Son Disappeared(48:00)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Fifty-Five has guest Django Phillips back again for some more Forest creepy creepos. Everything in this episode, again, deals with being outside, in the wilderness, and MONSTERS and PEOPLE FLIPPIN' OUT(you'll get it soon enough).
So, if that's what you're into, TUNE IN, TUNE UP, and GET SPOOPED:
Stop Being such Babies(19:51)
Trees of Eyes(25:52)
I Found a Diary while I was Hiking in New Hampshire(34:00)
US Forest Search and Rescue Logs(48:28)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Forty-Three has guest reader WhereAmI? on for the first time, reading one HELL of a story. This one is fun, so stick with us, cause it takes up the WHOLE episode:
Mayhem Mountain(15:35)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Fifty-Four has new guest Scutch MacGee and he's an old man. He just likes to drink beers and sit on his porch and yell at the youngin's about Game of Thrones. Here, we talk about George R.R. Martin and Stephen King for like an hour. We really do Shoot the Shat in this one, so if you're not into two nerds talking for 2 hours, find another episode, and if you're really not into that, FIND ANOTHER PODCAST:
I Think the Military still Uses Their Old Bases(37:00)
Have You ever Wondered at the Mystery of Sleep?(56:16)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Thirty features guest Terry the Tickler back again with host Captain Death. Today they're tackling a big hitter. And by big hitter, I mean, big shitter. Jeff the Killer, the memer who has haunted nightmares for ages; the picture being the only creepy thing about this internet phenomenon, there's nothing scary about the story. Then we read a long and deliberately awful troll pasta. ENJOY:
Jeff the Killer(11:54)
A Meeting with Al Qaeda (45:06)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood," and "Blue(Da Ba Dee)" are not my songs.
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Fair Use in effect for parody and criticism of intellectual property
Episode Thirty-Six features guest Disco Dracula back again with host Captain Death, reading more of their favorite stories related to SEX and GENITAL MUTILATION from Unsettling Stories(with Mr.SkellyBones on Spectator Mode cause he's too busy with his WEEB SHIT):
Lost Episodes(9:04)
Something Horrible is Happening to Me on Facebook(25:53)
Assisted Suicide(34:22)
Cracks in the Foundation(40:00)
My Erection Lasted Longer than 4 Hours;I Didn't Call a Doctor(46:06)
Far Too Much Sex(54:35)
Our EPs are now on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood," are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I claim fair use copyright for use of parody//criticism
Episode Thirty-Nine features guest Cannibal Siren, back again, for her second episode. This one is chock full of Stories to Read Alone at Night, something we've read a lot of on her previous episode(25), so be sure to check it out! As usual, we have a closing does of TrollPasta to round out the episode.
Does Anyone Remember this Pop Song from around 2008?(18:45)
Eleanor(38:56)
Channel 71(45:20)
The Sculptor(1:19:01)
Childhood Dream Destroyed(1:23:10)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Seventeen features guest Disco Dracula back back back back again-gain-gain, with host Captain Death, for another BIG HIT episode where we cover a couple of the best creepypastas we've had in a while, while also dicussing over loving and loathing of Stephen King and Stephen King adaptations.
The Tale of Roly Poly(5:22)
Abandoned by Disney(17:34)
Kylie Rose(45:32)
DeathMan(47:15)
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Twenty features guest Gnarly Charlie for his first time, with host Captain Death, for a reminiscing episode about video games and our time spent with them. Gnarly Charlie is an avid gamer and leader of a podcast called UnderGround Rants, follow him on Twitch, Mixcloud, and Youtube. We read a lot of Video Game Creepy and Troll Pastas on today's episode. ENJOY!
Lavender Town Syndrome(15:05)
Polybius(20:47)
Portal Playtime(23:13)
Don't Follow Me(34:59)
He Wants his Mama(40:50)
Cavestory.exe.avi(45:41)
Minecraft.exe(49:35)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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Follow at: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Twenty-Three features guest Disco Dracula back again, y'all, with host Captain Death, for another BIG HIT episode where we cover a sequel to his last episode and we start to cover LOST Episodes with one of the most famous:
Room Zero(Abandoned by Disney Sequel)(11:35)
Squidward Suicide(35:04)
Jimmy Neutron Happy Family Hour Lost Episode(47:46)
The Day my Dad Kicked Me Out of the House and I was Forced to Go Outside for more than Five Minutes and it was Horrible(50:12)
The Suicide Channel(50:40)
Fuck You, Charlie Brown(55:44)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Twenty-One features guest Terry the Tickler back again with LONG TIME NO SEE-Frowns McBooHoo-, and host Captain Death. Today they can't help but allude to Harry Potter and Owen Wilson and completely forget that the podcast is suppose to be about reading stories:
Fallen Rage(6:45)
The Old Lady(14:23)
The Smiling Man(18:15)
It Lives at the Bottom of my Stairs(24:17)
Mother's Love(34:24)
I Found a Girl I Know in a Porno(39:29)
Turns Out I'm Not Allergic to Milk(46:42)
A Tale of a Slightly Insane Retard(49:00)
Prank Ideas XD XD(52:04)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Twenty-Four features guest The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As Rocky Hockey, Harold Heavy Hands, back with a new face and a new name, with host Captain Death, for a fun little SNUFF episode. We cover some crazy surreal monster stories and some snuff films, along with the most well known mysterious film creepypasta, "Barbie.AVI," before delving into some fun trollpastas:
Guarding the Office at Night(5:30)
I Found a Homemade Snuff Film(11:40)
The Proprietor(22:20)
Barbie.AVI(31:02)
Chicken Nuggerz(42:44)
Does Anyone Know a Good Plumber?(49:28)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Twenty-Seven features Episode Fifteen guests back again, Terry the Tickler and A Bunch of Baby Ducks, with host Captain Death(since episode 15), telling lots of stories and talking about cum for a little bit. Oh. We also do a MadLib. It's terrible.
Your Last Breath(7:02)
The Pill(11:19)
The Squirming Man(20:06)
Birthmarks(27:15)
We Danced(29:29)
Who or What are the Shadow People?(34:30)
5 Minutes(42:00)
Trollpasta Madlib: The Killer(43:57)
The Legend of FingerGuy(49:17)
Mailbox(52:20)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Sixteen features guest Django Phillips back again with host -Captain Death- to tackle their creepy daddy himself, The Slenderman, featuring 3 top notch Slenderman CreepyPasta stories and 1 story written by yours truly. Unfortunately, we don't read any SaRLogs this episode, but Django will be back soon for more! Ft. a SURPRISE APPEARANCE at the end!
The Tall Man(8:20)
The Slenderman Cometh(16:16)
Tall, Thin, and Faceless(36:47)
The Marble Dubh(58:52)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark closing theme," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Twenty-Two features guest Django Phillips back again with host Captain Death, following up their Slenderman special(Episode 16) with a brief discussion on the HBO documentary Beware the Slenderman, but they quickly dive into a SOLID reddit NoSleep story, followed by the regular dose of Search and Rescue stories:
Uncle Gerry's Family Fun Zone(11:32)
Search and Rescue Forest Service Logs(49:00)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Twenty-Five features first time FEMALE-READER Cannibal Siren, with host Captain Death, for our BIG QUARTER episode. We read some Stories to Tell Alone at Night and some TrollPastas, so sit back, relax, and grab yourself a cold one(cold hand of death, I mean):
As a Child I Wanted to be a Mermaid(4:55)
10 Years Ago I Taught a Creative Writing Course; Two Student's Stories still Haunt Me to this Day(13:55)
Annora(32:30)
Old News(43:47)
Cackling(46:39)
Treats of Insanity(53:28)
The Pretty Cake Room(56:40)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Twenty-Eight features first time guest reader GESTALT, with host Captain Death, for an AMAZING episode consistent of only two stories and a load of literary conversation. The main story we read today involves someone only known as "The Goatman," while also mentioning our love for reading and horror and HORROR READING like Stephen King, discussed on MANY episodes.
Anansi's Goatman Story(13:58)
The Strangest Security Tape I've Ever Seen(43:41)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Thirty-One features guest Django Phillips back again with host Captain Death, continuing their reading of the style of slice of life-esque stories. The first creeps are some under water creepers with some context provided by Captain Death, then they get into their usual business and indulge in Search and Rescue stories as per usual:
Confessions of a Deep Sea Diver Parts One & Two(11:34)
Search and Rescue Logs(49:32)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood," and "Sandstorm" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I claim use of parody for fair use copyright
Episode Forty features friend and sometimes co-host when it's convenient for him, Disco Dracula. This one is a blast from the past with some personal storytelling and reddit conversation to start it off, leading to a hodge-podge of assorted Relatable-Goodies when it comes to other DD episodes.
A Warning to Those Thinking about Accessing the Shadow Web(16:25)
SuicideMouse.AVI(33:00)
The Episode of Nickelodeon's Double Dare that Will Never be Aired in the United States(41:49)
Dead Bart(49:25)
Pearl gets Herself Dead(1:00:00)
Abandoned by Six Flags(1:05:30)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Thirteen features guest Disco Dracula back after a ten episode hiatus, with host Captain Death, to discuss their love for horror movies and those creepypastas. This is the start of our serious movie discussions to come, so I hope you can handle some bullshitting for episodes to come.
I Never Saw Her Naked(12:14)
I just Heard my Name Broadcast on a Numbers Station(18:52)
I Will Never Wear a Condom Again(32:30)
The Business of Death(43:28)
Busses Suck(48:00)
Last Words(50:22)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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Follow: @cryo-chamber
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Thirty-Two features guest Harold Heavy Hands and Terry the Tickler back again with host Captain Death, where they read a lot of TOST(The Other Side(tumblr)), and a couple trolls and a great TV reenactment to finish the episode:
Gjoberdik(12:36)
Doppelgänger(12:55)
Silent Warning(16:13)
The Column of North America(18:43)
The Backseat(21:48)
Within the Fog(23:48)
.EXE(27:10)
Hotline Miami 3: The Right Number(31:36)
Monkey Cloning(36:30)
The Decapitated Head(38:44)
Our EPs are now on Youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood," and "Deja Vu" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I claim fair use copyright for use of parody//criticism
Episode Thirty-Three features guest Mr.SkellyBones and Disco Dracula back again with host Captain Death(since episode 14), reading a lot of short stories from CreepyPasta and TheOtherSide(Tumblr):
Lightless City(13:55)
Waste(18:42)
The Texas StiltWalker(22:53)
Glitch(27:08)
The Tattoo(28:33)
The Other Earth(29:42)
Ghost Photograph(31:19)
The LegMonger(32:50)
Thug Aim(35:00)
The Keeper(37:31)
Oh See Dee(38:49)
The Man(41:06)
Change for a Dollar(41:52)
Bitten(42:23)
Our EPs are now on Youtube!
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood," are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I claim fair use copyright for use of parody//criticism
Episode Eleven features returning guest Terry the Tickler, with host Captain Death, still trying to figure out, "Who was phone?" amongst other spoopy disasters. Silly is as silly does, people, and silly does a lot of dumb shit.
Doors(6:07)
Never Again(15:48)
Mr. Widemouth(22:44)
Teacher, Teacher(37:49)
The First Page(39:28)
Hawaii 50(40:54)
A Fresh Start(43:02)
Who was Conversing with Me on the Cellular Telephone?(45:17)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Eighteen features guest Rocky Hockey for his first time, with host Captain Death, for a weird little episode. First we start with a magnificent film idea for Happy Madison, then we move onto some TOST(The Other Side Tumblr) stories among other VideoGame TrollPastas. w/ Terry the Tickler on Spectator Mode
The Taxi(14:57)
Tourist Trap(16:35)
The End(18:37)
The Expressionless(21:50)
Upstairs(25:04)
The News Bulletin(26:44)
The Tails Doll Curse(28:21)
A Haunting Most Mario(35:21)
Repercussions of Evil(39:30)
The Scariest Video Game Ever(41:39)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
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Episode Nineteen features guest Space Cowboy for his first time, with host Captain Death, for a long and historically well known creepypasta story "NoEnd House" of Space Cowboy's recommendation. The entire episode is NoEnd House. It's that long. And that good. ENJOY!
NoEnd House(13:00)
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow at: @cryo-chamber
Today also features a short X-Files riff at the beginning and ending of the episode from our buddy Garrett out in Colorado, his soundcloud is full of good stuff, feel free to give him a follow too!
Follow at: @peteyquills
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Fourteen features guest Disco Dracula back again(so soon) with new-timer Mr. SkellyBones, and host Captain Death, where they discuss shows, their love of weeb and videogame shit, and some spoopy spoopos. First 2 guest episode of several to come
Sammy(10:17)
Silence(15:38)
Diary of a Fat Girl(22:07)
The Tape(28:26)
Nightmares(30:59)
Art Warehouse(34:14)
A Skeleton Popped Out(38:09)
The Lost Game(39:05)
666º BloodBoarding(39:56)
Dollhouse(43:41)
House of Mirrors(44:32)
The Terrible Bastard of Death(46:05)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Twenty-Six features guest Disco Dracula back again, y'all, with host Captain Death, for another fun little episode where we talk about OUR WIVES. lol jk, we gonna die forever alone. I think we discussed Disney Channel Original Movies in the last episode, but WE TALK ABOUT THEM AGAIN, SO GET OVER IT. Then we read the chronicling of Madison the funny Unsettling Stories Girl. Good times.
My Wife Didn't Want Me to Go into the Bedroom(14:43)
My Wife(19:59)
Madison's Stories(from Unsettling Stories)(32:17)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Twelve features guest Sir Boo Berry for the second time, with host Captain Death, comin atcha with them spooks. He's one of the best reviewed by our listeners, after his first episode, so we'll be sure to get him back on again!
The Nearly Departed(6:28)
Open Letter to the Woman at Walmart(13:48)
There's Another Daddy in the House(29:55)
Maggie(35:45)
They're Everywhere(45:42)
9-1-1(49:38)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Thirty-Four features guest Django Phillips back again with host Captain Death for a really fun Two Part special about creepy games. If you've heard of Bloody Mary or Ouiji Boards, then you'll realize how kid friendly they are compared to this shit. PLEASE DON'T DO ANY OF THESE BUT ENJOY OUR HYPOTHETICAL ACTIONS:
1 Man Hide-and-Go-Seek(11:16)
The Midnight Game(21:44)
100 Ghost Stories(30:54)
This is a Test(35:17)
Fortune Game(39:04)
Kokuri San(42:42)
The Shoebox Telephone(46:00)
The Elevator Game(54:49)
Listen on Youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood," are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I claim fair use copyright for use of parody//criticism
Episode Twenty-Nine features guest Frowns McBooHoo with host Captain Death. It's here. The episode where Frowns does nothing but ruminate on male genitalia. Oh. We also read about The Rake. Which is... weird... placement. Enjoy:
Why Do All my Lollipops Moan When I Put Them in my Mouth?(5:20)
The BunnyMan Bridge(12:27)
The Screaming Bridge of Maude-Hughes Road(16:11)
Tip-Toeing the Line of Consent(18:07)
The Rake(29:02)
Don't Google Big Black Banana from Ebola(37:19)
It(43:00)
Annoying Med Student(46:40)
The Irishman(47:34)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Thirty-Eight features guest Frowns McBooHoo with host Captain Death. He's not exactly here to talk about dicks again, but never say never, cause Frowns McBooHoo talks about dicks again, as are most of the stories about...erhm...dicks.
(donald glover in-joke, not mentioned)
ENJOY:
That Good Dick(11:14)
Sex in the Cemetery(18:02)
Both of my Parents were Surgeons and I use to Talk to Furniture(24:47)
Endless Chirping(31:47)
To Travel(39:31)
404(48:19)
The Haunted Paper Clip(50:18)
Check out our episodes on Youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Thirty-Seven features guest Django Phillips back again with host -Captain Death- to tackle the original story Django brought to the table a couple months back plus a BONUS Chuck Palahniuk story to get ya squirmin'. ENJOY:
GUTS(7:23)
Dogscape(29:25)
Now on youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark closing theme," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Fifteen features guest Terry the Tickler back again with new-timer A Bunch of Baby Ducks, and host Captain Death, where they seem to screech and howl constantly between 2-Sentence Horror Stories and some Troll Pasta. Second and probably less understandable 2 guest episode test. ENJOY.
2-Sentence Horror Stories(5:54)
The Deep(25:44)
Cats(27:05)
Homeless Man(28:25)
Just an Ordinary Couple(30:20)
666 Grant Thomas(31:20)
Zach and Meghan(33:33)
The Wrong House(35:02)
Friday(35:39)
Who was Skeleton?(38:13)
Deja Vu(44:37)
Scary Girl(45:20)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Thirty-Five features guest Django Phillips back again with host Captain Death for a thrilling conclusion to our Two Part special about creepy games. DON'T DO ANY OF THESE BUT ENJOY OUR HYPOTHETICAL ACTIONS:
Daruma-San(4:03)
Dark Music(11:58)
Doors to the Mind(15:45)
Dry Bones(22:56)
The Thumb Game(30:49)
The Gambler(36:12)
The Dark Reflection Ritual(37:56)
Please Don't Actually Try This -- Three Kings(48:37)
Listen on Youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood," are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
I claim fair use copyright for use of parody//criticism
Episode Five features guest Frowns McBooHoo, with host Captain Death, back again for a very merry and creepy christmas special. We split it into a two-parter to test the waters on how multiple episode narratives can work out in the future, which we have planned to do. Enjoy, and happy new years, ya filthy animals.
Christmas(6:04)
25, 26(13:42)
The Good Gift(30:16)
He Sees You When You're Sleeping(43:10)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
The especially creepy christmas ambience is thanks to
the youtube user Myuuji
www.youtube.com/channel/UCiSKnkKCKAQVxMUWpZQobuQ
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Episode Eight features guest Frowns McBooHoo, with host Captain Death, back for the first release of the new year! Frowns is my BFF and this is by far the most accurate example of our friendship and I really hope you get a laugh out of our stupor.
I was a Hot Single in your Area(3:59)
After Death(25:17)
Hi Hungry, I'm Dad(29:22)
The Day of all the Bloods(33:22)
The Boss(34:39)
Can You Smell Fear(36:01)
The Scary Man(37:21)
Ghost Van(40:38)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Six features guest Frowns McBooHoo, with host Captain Death, back for the holly, jolly spoopy second part of the Christmas Special! Hopre you're stickin' in there, this holiday season, it's rough all around, including these stories. Grab your eggnog and get nogged, sit back, and warm those chestnuts to this Part Two.
We Wish You a Merry Christmas(6:51)
The Ringer(11:42)
Up on the House Top(26:13)
Red Christmas(42:10)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
The especially creepy christmas ambience is thanks to
the youtube user Myuuji
www.youtube.com/channel/UCiSKnkKCKAQVxMUWpZQobuQ
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Episode One features guest Frowns McBooHoo for the FIRST episode of the show and the QUALITY is LACKING, so please bare with us, this was a test of sorts. This first story...man...it's...it's bad. We do read some better ones though, so STAY TUNED:Hands(4:04)A Story to Scare my Son(23:39)Aren't You Glad?(34:57)
Check out more episodes @https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all them ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamberThank you!
Episode Ten features guest Django Phillips back again for some stories with host Captain Death to continue to discuss their love for all things horror-related. And like usual, we finish the episode with the BEST narrative in these episodes, only provided by Django himself, the Search and Rescue Logs. Some of the best material we read!
Candle Cove(5:17)
The Russian Sleep Experiment(15:28)
US Forest Search and Rescue Logs(37:20)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Nine features first-time-guest Terry the Tickler, with host Captain Death, for his first time embarking into the mysterious world of CreepyPastas with arguably the most popular Troll Pasta of all time to finish. Terry is on the sillier side of our storytelling, but a storyteller nonetheless.
A Campfire Story(6:45)
My Daughter Died on her Sixth Birthday(20:47)
Robert the Doll(33:16)
Counting(38:53)
Insanity(40:19)
World War Cannibal(42:33)
The Voice(44:09)
Outside(45:08)
Don't Look Up(46:24)
The Camera(47:06)
Who was Phone?(49:05)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Two features guest Frowns McBooHoo back for a second stab at Lotsa Pasta with our Host, Captain Death, for 11 short stories. If you can't tell, the quality is already better compared to the first episode. Don't thank god, thank me.
Charlie(3:56)
The Bad Dream (6:00)
Crying isn't Going to Help (7:20)
Hell (8:27)
Licking (11:22)
Don't Get Out of the Car (14:31)
Peace (18:09)
The President is Human (20:47)
I Need to Believe in Ghosts (25:00)
Stuck at Work (28:30)
Jeff Went Left (33:30)
Check out our youtube @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Episode Three features guest Disco Dracula for the first time, with host Captain Death, to discuss his haunted house and 10 creepypastas full of drunkards. Disco is around a lot, so we might as well have him on the show, right?
Wrong Turn (10:58)
The Never-Ending Road (21:15)
I Thanked the Man Who Murdered my Only Friend (24:04)
Cheek to Cheek with Death (34:16)
House of Horrors (34:51)
Ghost War (35:09)
What Lies Within (35:37)
The Visitor (36:20)
The Skeleton Tree (37:39)
The Gnome (38:32)
Check out our youtube @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.
Episode Seven features guest Sir Boo Berry for the first time, with host Captain Death, diving straight into some of that tasty and delicious spooky spaghetti. I've known SBB since kindergarten, so needless to say, we got some history and we're glad to indulge in that with his episodes.
Coffins(2:21)
The Window(4:01)
Keyhole(7:34)
Grocery List(10:19)
Accident(13:26)
BoothWorld Industries(18:38)
The Statue(28:24)
Something's Not Right(30:30)
Burn(31:52)
Guardians(34:25)
House in the Woods(37:50)
CHECK THE YOUTUBE for EPs! SUBSCRIBE @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners
Episode Four features guest Django Phillips for the first time, with host Captain Death, to discuss their CreepyPasta Origins and start with a pretty stupid Pasta and then read seven GREAT Search and Rescue stories to soften the blow. Django brings a new flavor to the podcast, be sure to keep an eye out for him in the future.
The Broken Face(8:07)
US Forest Search and Rescue Logs(19:09)
Check out our youtube @
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw
Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!
"Are You Afraid of the Dark Theme Song," "Spooky Skeletons REMIX," and "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood" are not my songs.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.