Dr. Mike Mayer Psychologist & Motivational Speaker: Recent Episodes
Dr. Mike Mayer - Psychologist
Dr. Mike Mayer discusses psychological concerns with both business and family life. Relationships exist with business partners, employees, family members, friends, and other people you engage with on a daily basis. Dr. Mayer offers suggestions for these relationships based on psychological principles.
From health to emotions so interactions with others we deal with challenges all the time. How we deal with them is significant. We have the ability to bring about change and you have to believe that to overcome challenges. Learn more here...
What can you do to make a difference in someone's life? Do you want to make a difference for someone? Can you help them learn something that helps them live a better life, or can you help them with something they have difficulty doing on their own? Can you live your life in a way that helps impact others in a productive way? Listen more to lean more...
No matter how we define love, loving someone unconditionally is very important but may seem impossible? We must also protect ourselves from someone who might hurt us. Can we love ourselves too much? If we think of no one else but ourselves we may not have experienced true love. Learn more now...
Does your story change? Where do your stories come from, lessons learned, interactions with others, outside influential events? If we are asked to tell our story, what would we say, what would we focus on, and how do we want our stories to be remembered? How are stories from the past influential in our lives today? Listen more now...
Can we be flexible and open-minded when we look for answers? Can we try to understand, not agree, with an opposing viewpoint? Is it necessary for everyone to agree? Can we think differently and not interfere with the rights of others to live differently? Were we ever taught to do this? Learn more and listen now.
Consider the things you are grateful for, those we take for granted, and those we don't; a home, an education, a job, access to food, natural resources, freedom, and much more. Listen now to find out more.
Is self-evaluation a good thing and who sets the standards on how we judge ourselves? What is an acceptable standard to live by? What questions do we need to ask ourselves and do we take time to think about these questions? Learn more here...
Some habits we may need to change require some introspection. While it is important to take care of ourselves first so we can help others, we should be aware of how our beliefs and actions affect others. There is more to learn than we already know. Setting personal boundaries and keeping them can make better more effective lives for ourselves. Learn more and listen now...
Ready to practice some stress release measures? Consider these methods... identity what is causing you stress, ask for help, have a plan b in mind, practice relaxation techniques. Listen now to learn more.
Can we accept the mistakes we make? Ask yourself what did you do to contribute to the failure, how it affects others? This can help us grow. We will make mistakes even in our areas of expertise. The value of learning can outweigh the embarrassment of making a mistake. Listen now to learn more.
From the Obvious to the subtle, many relationships touch our lives. We can reduce the negative influences, as strong as they may seem. The way we think is the way we feel. How are we in a relationship, what legacies to we leave behind?
These suggestions can help you turn your mistakes into a success. Knowing the steps can help you get through and learn from the mistake vs repeat it.
What would you do if you had to stretch yourself in a new way? What are the small things and what are the big things that we are afraid to move forward with. What meaningful changes can you make?
Are we aware that we have an issue that is affecting those around us? Are our responses to life causing us and those close to us problems? Anger, Sadness, Addiction, Perfection, Bad Relationships... etc. The list goes on. Could this be affecting our mental health?
What we initially learned in life can be the hardest to change. A lot of different sources help us grow and change. We take this all in to become the person we are today. Our words take on different meetings due to our life experiences and genetic make up. Listen to find out more...
Couples and families are having more time together than ever before and no personal space to deal with challenges. Here are some tips to help couples get through. Listen now!
Choose wisely someone who is a good listener that you can feel comfortable with. Where do you find this person? How will you feel after you have released some of your thoughts and feelings? Listen now to learn more.
Food for thought, be a better listener, find the good in others, are you content with your purpose in life, do you behave as you want others to emulate, do you know how to love others... learn more
Appreciation and Praise are more powerful motivators than money and physical intimacies. Some things you can do include: be polite and respectful, as people for their solutions for a problem, don't give orders, listen, be positive. Listen now to learn more.
Daily reminders of the powerfulness of the positives that do exist in our lives. There is a choice as to where we focus our energies. Enjoy the positive feelings that do exist between people, things, and events. Make a list of positives in your life and then when you are frustrated think about an item from this list. End your day by recalling two positive feelings or experiences that occurred to positively influence your day.
Entitlement involves a responsivity to at in an appropriate ways to others. What is one entitled to? Can you change your expectations of entitlement? Learn more here.
Lies we tell ourselves... It can never happen. Complaining is OK. Ill fix it later.... Things that paralyze us and keep us from creating a better life for ourselves.
What takes place in this world is not as important as how we view it. Put things in perspective. Is our stress and frustration really worth it? Have something to look forward to. Looking forward can keep you focused and excited. Help others, there is no better way to forget about your worries than to help others with theirs. Listen now to learn more.
To talk to someone about things they have to understand confidentiality, be a good listener. We must respect their opinions. What would we share with them?
Our gifts are numerous. We offer acceptance, attention, forgiveness and many other gifts. We can give freely and with unconditional love. Don't under value your gifts.
Learn 7 steps to help you succeed at your goals. We all want to make a difference and fulfill our dreams.
Learn from 5 quotes by Aristotle to live a better life today. Consider new concepts and change what is in your power to change.
Looking for some tools to get through these times. Dr. Mike Mayer has some tips for you. We all have different strengths and challenges. Learn about some tools that you have at hand to help you through this.
Fear which is common in these times needs to be replaced with hope for the future. Can we take actions to reduce our fear such as washing hands, and taking precautions. We have the time to get closer and be a family unit. Don't forget that joy and happiness can come in small packages. Each one of us has the potential to adapt to life's challenges.
In the time of Covid-19 we need to meet this challenge in a personally successful way. Yet it can overwhelm us in all it's negative effects. Do not shut down and let fear be your only answers. Fight fear with real answers you can do to protect yourself and others. Do something to help the situation. Redirect yourself to activities and accomplish tasks.
What are the unmovable beliefs we have about what makes us different? Can we change those beliefs? Can we look at the beliefs of others with an open mind and heart? Can we open our belief systems to new ideas or flexibility?
Wealth means different things to different people. We come by our concept of wealth through our family of origin and our experiences. Can we broaden our concept of wealth to include the many ways we can reach others lives and share with them our many wealth's we posses as a person.
The love of a father is never forgotten. The goal is to be awesome father that leaves their children with the feeling of being loved and the skills to regulate their behaviors.
How can we show our children what they need to be, look for and do in a marriage? How do we show trust, commitment, and the qualities needed for a successful relationship?
At this busy time when everyone is trying to gift gifts to so many people we often forget the caring and loving that should go with the process. Let them know you care about them and how they have positively effected your lives.
Start with self. Do we take care of our selves, our body, our emotions, out spirit? Loving and accepting ourselves is a must to understand our lives. Next is others. When we do something for ourselves how does it impact others? We must find joy in life but not at the sacrifice of others.
When we are faced with a personal growth opportunity, how do we react. Do we think we need help? If our issues are not a problem to ourselves are they issues to others? Is it possible we don't have all the answers? Who can you trust to talk to?
Can you emulate some of these traits? They are willing to take the time and energy to be their best. They work hard, get up early, rarely complain, expect hard work, they study and ask questions, and they know lots of people. Listen now to learn more.
Do our actions have roots in our families or origin? Do experiences dictate our future? We are stronger than our pasts.
What would you do if you could do anything you wanted for a day or a week? Would you sleep all day or accomplish a task you want to get done. Would you enjoy life now?
Giving others our passion to others and fire others up. When you give others our energy it can become contagious and we will feel it coming back to us. Give others our experience that can help them make their lives more meaningful.
Don't bite off more than you can chew? When is too much too much? Slow down and enjoy some what what you have bitten off.
Try a new approach, brain store new solutions, get advice and grow yourself. Doing the same thing that did not work last time will not make your problems go away.
Are you taking the steps to have friends and to be one. Friendship starts with liking ourselves, it continues with several steps including choosing your friends wisely, listening and reaching out. Learn more...
When we put positive actions into the world are we putting an extension of our selves out there for others? We all want to reach a goal, do a good deed, relaxing and enjoying life. How can we be the positive in our lives?
Challenge your preconceived actions, habits and even figures of speech. Do not assume because you believe something that it is true for others? What are the appropriate boundaries in love?
Get the most happiness out of life. Take a picture a day of something that brings you happiness. Surround yourself with joyous people. Start conversations with power leads that spark positive conversation vs venting. Stop waiting for XYZ to happy before you can be happy. Focus on the now.
Memory is a significant part of our daily lives. We can influence what we remember in the future. We can re-remember the positive to help us have a productive future.
There is self confidence in general and then there is self confidence in specific situations. What we learn about ourselves growing up greatly influences our views on our selves and our self confidence.
Where does it come from and where do we need to practice it. Respect is earned and not just given. The difficult lesson is that we must give respect to receive respect. Are we bias in who we respect?
Some days we feel like we do and some days we don't. Some times you have to face diversity before you can know if you have it. Keep moving forward towards our goals.
Follow these 8 principles to remain unhappy and continue to be miserable. Change these negative patterns to be happier and more content with life. Considering these lists could change your path.
Changing behaviors can help you lead a better and more content life. 1) Need to want to change and must involve intellect, body, emotions and even your spiritual motives. 2) Knowing what specifically needs to change, what is driving our anger or our obsessions. 3) Follow through with a doable plan to create a new habit. 4) Validate out successes by truly feeling the joy. 5) Review what worked and get through blocks that keep us from succeeding.
When we look at relationships closely we see that someone or something is influencing our emotions in one way or another. Find the good in every relationship you choose to participate in. Learn to tolerate others differences as well as your own. Make your own meaningful and rewarding relationships in life.
Re-frame and manage disappointment and aversion. See setbacks as opportunities. See failure as an event not an identity. Be open to new information and be willing to change your mind. Create a habit to motivate yourself.
To live a life that is less reactive it is necessary to put the Ego in it's place. View situations with clarity. It takes two to do this but it has to start somewhere. This podcast looks at the Spotlight Effect, Egocentric Behavior and Self Awareness.
Things to avoid and things to embrace to find the peace and contentment we all deserve. Focus on purpose. We all have something to offer the world. Try these tips to work towards a better life.
How has your past influenced you? The past is there to learn from to help you get the most from the present. Do you use the present wisely? Is your present life preparing you for the future?
We are the ones that individually decide who we will respect. Are we respecting more people or fewer people? Is our personal criteria more stringent or are there fewer people deserving of our respect? Respect is earned not just given, yet we need to give respect to receive respect. Respect does not necessarily require agreement.
What concerns can you talk out with your confident? Are they a sounding board or an adviser? Find potential solutions, relieve concerns and stress while building trust with a confidant. Confidentiality and trust are key.
Realistically, we all like the positive feelings of expressing validation. This validation includes those from our children, our spouse, our friends, our boss and our co-workers. Do you give validation to others? We should.
Generally, we should use wishes to bring about a change for the "good" in ourselves or for others. Use wishes as a motivator.
All of us realize that most people do not like to be told what to do. Yet, all of us must realize that in order to get alone in this world we need to comply with appropriate and fair leaders.
How does the discord at work influence your mental health? Working as part of a team can make your workplace more efficient and more enjoyable. Yet you have to ask yourself... are you a team player? Do you have negative co-workers, gossips or slackers at your workplace?
With differing types of "two" people combinations they all would work better together if they wold be more other centered as well as ... (listen to the podcast to find out.)
An apology can show that we are not always right and we do make mistakes. Who do we need to apologize to and are we willing to do so?
These "everyone's". how do we include them in our lives? Do we care, does it matter how the "everyone" lives on this planet?
To me a gift is an effort on someone's part to extend an appreciation in some way to another person without expecting anything in return. Do you do this? Love is a gift!
Resentment is an emotionally debilitating condition that when unresolved can have a variety of negative results on the person experiencing it. Have you let go of your resentment?
Your attitude influences the entire staff, office, workplace either positively or negatively. Have you checked your attitude recently?
A big factor in marriage failing is the unwillingness to a partner to accept change. To stay married it helps to be able to embrace change.
Research suggests that the majority of people have negative attitudes towards people with mental illness. It behooves all of us to better understand mental illness.
What do you know about the way you behave and are you willing to ask yourself questions to find some answers?
What are some common qualities that can either make the partnership grow or cause problems that could make it fail?
How do we want to be remembered? Can the answer to this become a motivator for our lives.
People have lots of secrets they carry around. Why do we keep them and what are the costs to us if we keep them?
Do you know the signs of depression? What can we do to reduce the effects of depression in our lives?
We need to recognize what thoughts and behaviors are problems for us. Then what do we do next?
Constant negativity can get in the way of happiness and add to our stress. What can we do to reduce these negative thoughts.
Time magazine reported that overall adolescents have a reputation for being more fragile, less resilient, more overwhelmed than their parents were growing up. What do we do?
What is your family culture all about? How do your beliefs, rules, activities, and habits define what culture you will pass on?
There are some simple suggestions that can help us cope with people. Listen to find out.
We won't be ready for changes until we are ready to make the changes. Are our habits killing us? Are our lifestyles hurting our family?
Monday is the day that more people express depression. More people call in sick on Monday. Do we need to re-program our thoughts about Mondays?
Do we allow ourselves the time and opportunity to be awe struck. Awe can benefit you in many ways.
We need to follow what makes our children emotionally healthy which includes giving them structure, consistency, love and validation.
Do we remember to thank those people in our lives who have helped us deal with life's challenges? There are many ways to do this.
If we truly understand our "self", we will admit we have a way to go to learn how to make our "self" an effective human being who can help influence the world in positive way.
The evolutionary perspective on human nature provides us a key to understanding why even the most successful are only partially happy.
Acting on making decisions is a growth piece in your life especially for those who have difficult making decisions.
Review these simple suggestions and boosting your self confidence to an appropriate level.
When we are connected our personal differences are discussed and accepted and at times willingly tolerated.
The more we get away with not dealing with unpleasant things, the more we used "avoidance" as a technique to "go to" when unpleasant situations arise.
So who we are and how we handle stress will greatly influence our ability to handle any stress at work.
There is no perfect day, but to make it better, we need to start looking at making each part of the day more meaningful.
We need to be truthful with ourselves about how we feel, still angry, sad, anxious, in order to get unstuck. Yet holding out for the possibility that someday you will feel better.
There are some people who have no intention of making changes. Others have no idea what to change. Others realize that personal change are necessary. Where are we on that list?
Happy People are curious people (Diener/Dishi). Happiness is good for you. Having a best friend for support adds to happiness.
We must understand others before we can learn from them. Both parties must understand the meaning of each other's words. There is a lot to learn from others.
Forgiveness is a needed attribute in people who want to be complete (Luskin). To forgive we need to understand how our actions affect others (Held).
Being sensitive to me means "how we treat others and understand others using their perspective as a source of knowledge." (mayer)
The truth is that our parents greatly contribute to the way we see the world. We learn good and sometimes not so good values and beliefs.
People need encouragement in their lives. We need to reach out and find those people who need an 'atta boy' or 'atta girl' encouragement.
Loneliness is increasing as modernization occurs. We are often too busy to connect with others. Appropriately reach out to others.
The answer is "carefully" and with a genuine interest in reaching out to them. There is a reason they are difficult to get along with.
How we believe about ourselves can and does effect how we react to others. Are we willing to openly look at our own behavior.
Can we learn how to deal with various issues from our children or from much younger co-workers? Yes we can.
Times when you rest your mind, stop thinking and "veg out" can be the best time for an "aha" moment.
No one should assume that being "just who you are" is a good thing. We need to assess that we could need changes in being "just who we are"
We have good and bad habits. To start a good habit, make it easy and then celebrate it's success.
The longest couple on record were married 91 years. Laugh together, stay best friends, never fight about money are just a few of the suggestions
To live a better life we need to be loved and learn how to regulate our behaviors. These can be the keys to a happy life.
We often take too much for granted. You are mentally happier if one focuses on what we have and not what we don't have.
There are times when we need to stand up for our own personal well being. We can also be too tough on ourselves when we fail to enjoy life in a healthy way.
Depression can make life difficult to handle. There is help for those who deal with its effects on them.
It is estimated that 20% of the population in the U.S. feels lonely at some time. Find someone to reach out to for help.
We often try to do too much to make the holidays perfect. It is time to slow down and enjoy the experience of being with those we love.
Dr. Guy Winch gives us some suggestions on how to stay emotionally healthy. I add to these suggestions.
Research states that even with a higher standard of living Americans are not happier than they were 60 years ago.
From the wisdom of a five year old girl who said out of the blue, "I've got to get going to get to my future."
There are many reasons we do not make changes. There are no good excuses to not make appropriate changes.