How To Get Away With Parenting: Recent Episodes
Malaika Dower
My husband and I have a long chat about everything, from how he's been addressing white privilege with other white people when people of color aren't around, to our continuing preschool indecision. And, I reveal to him that I'm not going to get our daughter a Christmas gift this year. But, Santa might get her something.
- Eben seems to be making progress in his goal of talking about racism to white people. He first declared it here: Episode 39 - What will our legacy be?
- The book I'm currently reading/listening to is How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. I really like it.
- I found wrapping paper with a black Santa on it. He's called Clarence Claus from Greentop Gifts.
- I was inspired to check in on my fibroids because of this episode of Dem Black Mamas.
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I talk a good game about respectful parenting and child-directed learning but deep down, I'm a typical Guyanese mother. What does that mean? My friend Nyoka Acevedo and I break it down in this episode. She's a committed educator and passionate Restorative Justice advocate. And, Nyoka is a Puerto Rican mother trying to sift through a lot of historical bullshit that weighs us down. This episode is full of questions. Not a lot of answers. And, a great tip at the end about how to teach your toddler not to scream in your face when they want your attention.
- Nyoka told me about a great resource for Restorative Justice work here in Oakland! http://rjoyoakland.org/
- Another shout out to friend in my head, Akilah Richards, who's raising Free Children and discussing it on her podcast
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I watch entirely too many YouTube daily vlogs and thus got it into my head that I could do a daily podcast about parenting. So, in this episode I pop in every few days to update you on the day to day joys and struggles of respectfully parenting a toddler. We had a HUGE event happen during this week that I had to document. My husband even makes and appearance! As usual, I ask a lot of questions to all the listeners so I don't feel so alone. So, let me know what you think!
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I sit down and have a loooong chat with my new friends Pastaveia and Sean from EcoConsciousLifestyle! They're expecting their first baby and plan to maintain their minimalist lifestyle. I had questions! They are also interested in respectful parenting. I had answers! We also got in to a much needed discussion about how both of these life choices have a distinct impact on us as black parents. Stay tuned to the end where I regale them with my positive birth story in an effort to take the fear out of the big day.
Show notes:
- Pastaveia and Sean are part of the Black Minimalist movement.
- Sean's into this book and Pastaveia is into this book.
- Throughout her plant-based pregnancy Pastevia relied on books and YouTube channels like Mama Glow: A Hip Guide to Your Fabulous Abundant Pregnancy Book by Latham Thomas and also found recipes from Jenne Clairborne's Sweet Potato Soul.
- I go on a rant about why it's especially important for parents of black children NOT to use tough love as a way of preparing them for the "real world." This video explains why that tactic is harmful to all kids.
- Speaking for raising preparing our children for the future. Pastaveia mentioned Brandi Sellerz-Jackson's inspirational blog post about raising carefree black kids.
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I don't even know where to begin when it come to saving up for my kid's college education. Should we try to save for all 4 years or just a set amount and supplement the rest with scholarships and grants? Is our kid doomed to a life of debt if she takes out loans? What if she doesn't even want to go to college? I asked Linda Stern, brilliant personal finance journalist, and one of my best friends' mom, all these questions and more. Lots of helpful tips that put mind at ease and even gave me a reason to maybe have a second kid.
You can tweet Linda @lindastern
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My husband and I answer some questions about trying to teach Lucy Spanish, parenting while tired, and what to do when your kid won't let you read to them. Lucy makes several appearances in this episode which highlights the fact that we're clearly not parenting experts.
Show notes:
Janet Lansbury links, again: podcast and audiobooks
Here's the article I mention about raising a truly bilingual child: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/10/well/family/raising-a-truly-bilingual-child.html
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I can't believe it's already time for us to start thinking about preschool. My kid only just turned 2! Am I late to the search party?Should toddlers be doing "STEM" work? How many kids should be in the classroom? I sat down with my kid's best friend's mom, and my new pal, Josephine Saunders, to get some tips about the preschool process. Josephine's a school teacher and has put one other kid through preschool. So I wanted to pick her brain.
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It's been so long! My husband and I are just shooting the breeze about life and how hard it is to clean our house. Also, neighbor drama! And more, yes, MORE toddler tantrums.
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I've been struggling between the trying to instill empathy and kindness in my daughter and not trying impose strict manners and politeness rules on her. I'm walking the line between respectful parenting and respectability politics. But, I know there has got to an appropriate balance. So, I called in my favorite parenting podcaster, Melitsa Avila. She gives me 10 Social Life Skills that can help all of us guide our kids as they navigate social interactions. We talk about everything from helping them cope with being judged by the color of their skin to showing them how to disagree and/or apologize to people in an appropriate way. This episode is long, and it's worth taking notes!
- You can find a TON of Melitsa's useful tips about raising school aged children on her podcast Growing Nimble Families
- She has also created lots of Character Conversation Cards to help families get the hang of discussing tricky topics with each other.
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Check out Melitsa's Twitter page for a million more ideas and inspirational parenting tips. (@melitsaavila)
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It's official, we have a 2 year old! My husband and I are astounded that we somehow have a kept our daughter alive and happy for 2 years now. We talk about what it's been like so far and what we hope the future will bring with a real deal toddler.
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We all want our kids to be healthy eaters. But, like most parenting stuff, it's so haaaard! Especially when we're not exactly leaders in the healthy eating realm. But, is it possible to transition your kid from eating only nuggets and fries to gobbling up spinach and quinoa? I asked Malika Pham how she made the switch with her two little ones. We also chat about how her son's autism diagnosis helped her to get more intentional and creative with how she feeds her family.
- You can find Malika on Instagram, Facebook, and her website
- Malika mentions The GAPS Diet and how it helped her navigate her son's gut issues.
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My husband and I talk to a renowned couples therapist about marriage and personal growth while parenting. The wonderful Esther Boykin, LMFT weighs in on how to support connection between partners and within the entire family. We also talk about being naked around our kids and how to handle parenting disagreements without resentment. She also tells us the 2 most important elements that will help us be better partners and better parents. Hint: it's all about working on ourselves first.
S h o w N o t e s
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Esther is the CEO of Group Therapy Associates located in the Washington D.C., Maryland, Virginia region. GTA is a boutique counseling and coaching agency for people who want to live happier and healthier lives. But, more importantly GTA is "a safe place to let out your fears and frustrations and actually start to change your life for the better.
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She is also working on a really cool project called Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word. It's a Q&A Happy Hour featuring great food, great drinks, and great conversation with real psychotherapists and mental health professionals. The goal is to remove some of the stigma and mystery from the process of psychotherapy and rewrite the narrative on what mental health and therapy are really all about. Some of her other social and community based therapy projects include:
- Sidewalk Talk DC
- Conversations Off The Couch
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You can find Esther on Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Just me, on my own, again. But, I think I've had a breakthrough about potty training. It's a pretty simple plan that I'm going to be super easy breezy about and not at all worry that I'm doing it wrong. But, just in case I read about 16 parenting articles on the subject. Here are a few of them:
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I went to my parenting oracle Janet Lansbury for some tips: http://www.janetlansbury.com/2014/08/3-reasons-kids-dont-need-toilet-training-and-what-to-do-instead/
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Toilet Training In One Simple Step
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I hate the title of this article because I think it's a bit fear mongering. But, it's got some good info: https://www.babble.com/toddler/dangers-potty-training-early/
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No guest this week so I asked my daughter to be on the podcast with me. But, she only lasted for a couple of minutes. She's got places to be, apparently. So, I give a short recap of our week and some of the stuff I've been thinking about lately when it comes to parenting. Specifically, when and why should a toddler stop using a pacifier. And, more potty training angst.
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My pal Amanda is back with me for this episode. We have a much needed rant about dealing with toddlers. We also do some pretty deep work about our efforts to parent differently than we were parented. Sometimes that means looking at some of the traumatic experiences we had as children and then undoing that mindset so that we don't impose it on our children. Like it said, it gets deep.
Show Notes:
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Spare the Kids: Why Whupping Children Won't Save Black America by Stacey Patton
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Friend in my head (and on Twitter) and fellow black mom podcaster, Akilah Richards is teaching an online workshop about raising liberated children of color called Raising Free People.
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Some books that have helped me get some perspective on life with a toddler:
- No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury
- Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
- The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.
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This TED Talk by badass Black lady pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris will open your eyes about the reality of how we raise our kids: How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime
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Don't forget to binge watch Amanda's Youtube videos!
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Our daughter joins my husband and me on this episode. We talk about some of the topics HTGAWP listeners have said they'd like to hear us talk about.
Here are some of the linkable things I mentioned in this episode:
- Raising Playful Tots podcast by Melitsa Avila
- Jen's episode about picky toddlers: Your Parenting Mojo--It's not about the broccoli
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My daughter has been having A LOT of...emotional outbursts, shall we say. I know it's because she's frustrated or overwhelmed or just feeling out of sorts. But, how can I help her? And also, how can I get ok with her feelings? I asked Kelley Carboni-Woods to teach me her wise ways. She's an author, yoga instructor, mother of 2 tots, a Zen Master (my words, not hers) and a self-described recovering yeller. She's got a ton of great advice about everything from cleansing breaths to daily mantras.
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Kelley's book is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1541023323/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482517249&sr=1-2
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You can find her everywhere: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest
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Also, Kelley mentions Scrap Gardening in this episode. It's amazing!
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Man, we had a sweet window of about 4 weeks when my daughter would go straight to sleep at 7pm and then not make a peep until about 6am. Now bedtime is all over the place and we're in and out of her room doing a dog and pony show just to get her to lay down and chill for a few hours. My friend Vanessa Johnson was also having a crisis trying to teach her baby how to sleep. So she hired an expert to help. In this episode I grill Vanessa for all the secrets that this wise woman taught her.
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I convinced my husband to come back on the podcast for a special episode about how our daughter keeps rejecting him. I hope she doesn't hate us when she grows up. Please comment on the website if you have any advice or ideas for us.
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As a somewhat reluctant stay-at-home mom I've been dragging my feet when it comes to meal planning and general household management. So I recruited Mimi from Unlikely Martha to help me get it together. She's got sooo much wisdom to share. But, don't get it twisted! She'll be the first person to tell you that she's not perfect either. I think that's why so many folks love her. We chat about everything from giving our children plenty of affection and tenderness to "time chunking" mundane tasks with a stop watch. She's doing it all.
This episode is so chock full of info that I'm bringing back the full show notes. Here we go:
- You can keep up with Mimi and all her greatness on her blog Unlikely Martha
- Her entire Pinterest page is poppin' but the Recipes section is what I'm loving the most
- Mimi lives in Georgia and sometimes uses Southern Savers to look for grocery deals
- It all comes down to planning! Mimi uses The Happy Planner.
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My friend Amanda joins me to talk about how neither of us know how to properly potty train our toddlers. We also chat about her life and her recent move from Japan to the U.S.A.
- Amanda's YouTube channel is great! Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6FHjH9pBMYE-wNtzin9TLA
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This episode is the second half of my conversation with Bree Colingo. It's all over the place. And, it's fun!
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I had a long talk with my friend Bree Colingo last night after she texted me in a panic. Her son said something to her that I've feared my daughter might say to me one day: "I wish I was white." I asked Bree if she would come on the podcast and talk to me a bit about how she reacted and her feeling about the whole event. The conversation got deep.
- I mentioned an organization called SURJ in this episode but I couldn't remember what the acronym stood for. It's Showing Up for Racial Justice.
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We take a look at some of the things we'd like to accomplish, not just in 2017, but for our lifetime. My husband and I have another serious conversation about respectful parenting and how it intersects with race and gender. Why isn't anyone else talking about this? And, if they are, where can I find them?
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The deeper I get into this parenting thing the more I want to do things differently than I ever dreamed. Millions of people are opting out of traditional school for their children and entering the world of homeschooling. Or, they are taking the plunge and unschooling all together. But is it right for me and my kid? On this episode I sit down with fellow parenting podcaster and, future unschooler, Jen Lumanlan. We discuss a lot of the research she's come across regarding this new trend and why she thinks it's right for her daughter. I also ask every basic question there is about homeschooling.
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Jen's podcast is called Your Parenting Mojo and it's really great (http://yourparentingmojo.com/)
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Go to www.howtogetawaywithparenting for the full academic references of all the books and articles Jen mentions in this episode.
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My husband and I decided we wanted to go on the respectful parenting journey with our daughter since before she was born. And it was all pretty easy to do when she was a newborn and then an infant. But now that she's a toddler we're on the front lines! Our beliefs about parenting are getting tested every day by our curious and strong willed little kid. So, on this episode, we discuss how we think we're doing with respectful parenting and also what areas need some work. Show notes are back!
*We try to practice RIE principles
*We read Janet Landsbury's first book and listen to her podcast
*I discovered Jen Lumanlan's podcast this week
*This week I was watching The Parenting Junkie's Reclaim Play video series
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My friend Sonnett Swaby-Brizan joins me again to discuss all things Christmas.
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My friend Sonnett Swaby-Brizan and I talk about the end of breastfeeding. I'm all done but Sonnett is still going strong after 2 years. We also have a good old catch up session and ponder over why all stay at home moms go to Target every damn day.
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This week my husband check in with each other and I do a recap of all the stuff we have questions about. Weaning! Toddler discipline! Colds! Potty Training! Biting! I also put out a call to anyone who would like to discuss other topics I'm curious about. Homeschooling and Adoption, to name a couple. Let's chat!
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I'm still feeling kind of lost without my dad. So, I asked my friend Abby Ejigu to sit down with me to talk about how she coped with the sudden death of her father almost 11 years ago. We chat about the immigrant dad experience and also what it really means to be "the man of the house." Spoiler: it involves a lot of domestic duties. This was a really healing and hopeful conversation.
- Abby's a blessing to the world and she's a DOULA!
- www.absdoula.com
- www.facebook.com/AbyssiniaBirth
- Instagram @AbyssiniaBirth
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My father died very suddenly last week. I am still in shock. He was not only a wonderful father to me and my siblings but he was also one of my best friends. I don't know how I'm going to go on without him.
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I think it's important for me to cultivate my own interests, outside of parenting, in order to model the wholeness that I'd like my daughter to have. I spoke with my friend Christina Chung AKA Chungtech about maintaining an active career as a DJ. Christina really teaches her daughter by example that parents are people too. Her husband Arjuna Sayyed also joins us for a bit of chat.
Show Notes:
*Christina just released a fantastic new mixtape. Play it when you want to get funky https://hobocamp.bandcamp.com/album/modern-funk-fest-cassette-feat-chungtech-and-hotthobo
*Christina and Djumi made naengmyeon (a variety of cold Korean noodles) in a watermelon. I found a fun video that shows you how to do it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9w4d1nK3Xg
*Follow Christina on Instagram for fun pictures of Djumi and Arjuna and DJ life www.instagram.com/chungtech
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I've been worrying about leaving a spiritual hole in my daughter's life. I grew up a practicing and confirmed Episcopalian and enjoyed my church experience. But, I stopped believing in God sometime around college. Now that I have a daughter, and a marriage to maintain, I find myself yearning for the ritual and fortification of a faith based life. Yet I'm still questioning. So, I asked my dear old friend Angelica Teaupa to talk to me about her journey with religion and faith. I grilled her all about how her family practices their faith and how she deals with the contradictions and questions that come up for her as a Mormon. This was a conversation that I really needed to have.
Questions for the listeners:
Do you and your children practice a religion faithfully?
Do you and your children attend regular religious services?
Do you truly BELIEVE or practice for cultural reasons?
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Today I'm answering some of the questions listeners have sent in. Once again, I've called on my trusty assistant, and life partner, to help me delve into the discussion. We answer a question that's been a sore spot in our relationship for a long time. We also talk about how we navigated life after my first pregnancy ended. And, we discuss baby names!
No show notes again. Just more questions for you:
*How do you divide household duties with your partner?
*Do your children have chores? How does that work?
*Does keeping tidy get easier the longer you are a parent?
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We moved in to our new house in Oakland this week. So, my husband is back on the podcast with me to talk about how we're adjusting. We dive deep into the realness of moving across the country. No furniture! No money! No job! No sleep! But, despite all the stress we're so happy we moved.
Instead of Show Notes this week, I'm going to ask you guys some questions. Please help me find the answers:
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Why does daycare end so early? How do you work full-time and pick up your kid at 5:00pm?
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What order do you load stuff into the car? Kid first then groceries? Or, groceries, then kid? How do you return the grocery cart to the lineup in the parking lot without locking your kid in the car?
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How do you help a toddler to sleep through the night?
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We just made the big move from New York to California. Since our stuff is not here yet we've been staying with my parents for a few days. It's been great! My dad agreed to sit down with me and tell me all his parenting secrets. You're going to hear the word "responsibility" about a million times in this episode. No show notes this week. My life is too hectic to go hunting for links right now.
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We have to find a new doctor for our daughter when we move to California. But how can we be sure we're all on the same page about patient care practices? Recently, we had a pretty eye opening experience during a doctor visit. Now we know what we don't want.
Show Notes:
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Some doctors think black people don't feel pain https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2016/04/04/do-blacks-feel-less-pain-than-whites-their-doctors-may-think-so/
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This guide by the American Association of Pediatrics helps a little with how to chose a pediatrician. But it doesn't address my most prevalent fears https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/health-management/Pages/How-To-Choose-A-Pediatrician.aspx
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Check out Episode 18 of HTGAWP where I get schooled on the importance of consent by the fantastic Courtney Watson, MFTi http://www.htgawp.com/blog/2016/6/13/episode-18-how-do-i-talk-to-my-kid-about-molestation
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My husband and I have a zero screen time policy for our daughter. This decision was based on a lot of compelling evidence about the negative affects TV and videos can have on early childhood brain development. But, when baby goes to bed...we are all about screen time for Mommy and Daddy! Are we total hypocrites? Is this going to bite us in the butt later? Will our daughter be an outcast because she's not keeping up with the Joneses of the screen world? Show Notes: * American Academy of Pediatrics stance on screen time: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Where-We-Stand-TV-Viewing-Time.aspx
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How TV Affects the Brains of Young Children: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2SdEpHjrjw
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Real-life strategies for reducing children's screen time: http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/resource/real-life-strategies-reducing-children%E2%80%99s-screen-time
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JoAnn Deak's long talk about brain development in the first 5 years of life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQLgQayNMYI
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I got two of the coolest chicks in podcastland to sit down and chat with me this week. Lina and Estephanie from the Bag Ladies podcast came by to talk about growing up in the Bronx, their path to Afro-Latinx feminism and they also gave me tips on how to make my daughter feel seen, heard, and appreciated. They really did help me, help them, help me.
Show Notes:
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I discovered the Bag Ladies podcast on the greatest podcast listing ever, Podcasts In Color: http://podcastsincolor.com/
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Listen to the Bag Ladies if you haven't already been on to them: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bag-ladies/id1073190648?mt=2
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Learn the young people's lingo and get "woke" via the Bag Ladies Tumblr: http://bgladiez.tumblr.com/
Email me: htgawppodcast@gmail.com
Tweet me: @htgawp
Website me: www.htgawp.com (Leave a comment so I know you care!)
Rate and review me: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-get-away-with-parenting/id1084576130
What if your kid gets sick? Like really, really, really sick? My friend Amber Drea came in to talk to me about what's been going on with her son. He's been dealing with major health problems since birth and now he's on the brink of recovery. She and her husband are still coping with the reality of having a sick kid while also maintaining an optimistic and humorous outlook. It's a true balancing act.
Show notes:
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Superstar doula, Kenya Fairley, from Episode 7 wrote a book about trauma informed birth support! http://www.kenyathedoula.com/book
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What is Billiary Atresia? https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-topics/liver-disease/biliary-atresia/Pages/facts.aspx
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Amber says if you have a sick kid in NYC you must go to this hospital http://www.nyp.org/morganstanley
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Children's Organ Transplant Association http://cota.org/
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Keep up with Stanley's progress: https://www.instagram.com/stanleystardust/ and https://www.facebook.com/stanleystardust
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Amber is performing this week!
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Who gets my stuff when I die? Can I make my friend raise my kid if my husband and I are both dead? I'm kind of obsessing about death lately so I asked my friend, and lawyer, Leslie Sultan to tell me everything she knows about making a will. I make a lot of jokes along the way because talking about death makes me nervous. After all the death chat my husband comes back to talk about a life update. See what I did there? Life after death...anyway. Find out what we're most excited about with our move to California and what we're going to miss the most about living in New York.
Show notes:
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Here are the basic components of a will: http://www.aarp.org/money/estate-planning/info-09-2010/ten_things_you_should_know_about_writing_a_will.html
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This might help you decide if you need a will or not: http://estate.findlaw.com/wills/what-happens-if-i-die-without-a-will-.html
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Someone wrote a pretty extensive review of a recent episode of HTGAWP! https://hearthatnoise.wordpress.com/2016/06/30/htgawp-how-do-i-talk-to-my-kid-about-molestation/
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My husband is back again! This time we have an intense conversation about racism and white privilege in the wake of the most recent police shootings. We also discuss how being in an interracial marriage affects the way we communicate with each other about the reality of racism. What are we going to tell our daughter about the world she's growing up in? Let me how your family is dealing with racism. I'd like to compare notes.
Show Notes:
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There is a white privilege conference: http://www.whiteprivilegeconference.com/
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Not sure what "White Privilege" means? Here's the definition: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9uofOxNGMYONlBLS1k1RUxXNlhqbDZoMmFkQzM3SmItZXRB/view?usp=sharing
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This hilarious video of Eddie Murphy trying to find out what white people do when black people aren't around is priceless! http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/white-like-me/n9308
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My husband and I have made a big decision that will change our family's trajectory. So I brought him on the podcast to discuss why we're doing what we're doing. And, we ask the listeners what decisions they have made with the hope of making a better life for their family. Let us know what you think:
Email me: htgawppodcast@gmail.com
Website me (write a comment!): www.htgawp.com
Tweet me: @htgawp
I plan to live forever. But, just in case I don't, I want my kid to have something to put in her pocket when I'm gone. So, my husband and I need life insurance. My friend Aljerice Hasty walks me through the different types of life insurance policies out there and the steps to take to make sure we're covered. Then, my girlfriend Laura is back to bitch and moan with me for our "Wah, Wah, Wah" segment. This time we're complaining about birth control. It sucks!
Show Notes:
*You can email Aljerice with questions: Aljarice.Hasty.f7du@statefarm.com
*Here's a handy insurance calculator: http://www.lifehappens.org/insurance-overview/life-insurance/calculate-your-needs/
When the hell is there going to be male birth control? Soon-ish*: http://www.webmd.com/men/news/20160325/male-birth-control
Website me: www.htgawp.com
Email me: htgawppodcast@gmail.com
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Review me: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-get-away-with-parenting/id1084576130
Child molestation is a topic I’ve been worried about since the moment I found out I was pregnant. What if someone touches my kid? Can I legally murder a predator? Is it my fault? I asked Courtney Watson, MFTi to talk me down from my panic ledge by discussing how we can talk to our kids about their bodies and consent. We also get into ways to advocate for our children and heal with them and the entire family if a violation does occur. This will hopefully be the first of a series of episodes where we discuss age appropriate sexual behavior and responses to that behavior. Because just like all things in parenting, there is no one size fits all solution.
Show Notes:
*Please! Please! Please go to my website for all the resources and statistics Courtney mentions in the podcast.
*You can contact Courtney via her website (http://www.doorwaytherapeutics.com/)
*She wrote a special blog post all about how to talk to young children about sexual assault. It’s ESSENTIAL!
Email me: htgawppodcast@gmail.com
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Website me: www.htgawp.com or www.howtogetawaywithparenting.com
What does it actually take to make your kid bilingual. I ask my friends Junichi and Enjulee Ito how they are teaching their baby Japanese. Is it working? Can my husband and I teach our daughter Spanish even though we're not native speakers? I have a lot of questions.
Show notes:
-here are some tips on how to go about it (http://www.omniglot.com/language/articles/bilingualkids1.htm)
-Junichi is a rad photographer (http://www.junichiito.com/)
-Enjulee is a rad crafter (https://www.pinterest.com/enjulee/)
-They have a rad family (https://www.instagram.com/enjulee/)
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My friends are having a baby! Derreck and Vanessa Johnson are my very special guests on this episode. They're expecting their first child any minute now. We sit down in their living room to chat about all their hopes, fears, and questions about giving birth and life after baby arrives.
Show notes:
- Hypnobirthing is not for weirdos. It helped me (and hopefully Vanessa) a lot.
- Derreck's twitter stardom really is a thing (@deephunk)
- He's also the unofficial Mayor of Brooklyn Summer. I met my husband at this party! (Makossa BK Cookout)
___________________
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A day in the life of any mom is busy, to say the least. But, what does it look when you have infant twins, an intense job, a loving husband and a serious exercise routine? My friend Daphne Palacio is here to give me a detailed account of her typical Wednesday. My eyes were bugging out in shock and amazement during most of this episode. Daphne is a force of nature!
Show notes:
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Daphne talks about her life with PCOS. Learn more about it here
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Babies can start taking swim classes as early as 6 months. We take our baby to the YMCA near us. Find classes here
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There are a million slow cooker recipes online. So here is a list of the best slow cookers on the market
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My guest, Whitney Dwyer, and I dip a toe into the deep water that is DISCIPLINE. I've been reading (and reading and reading) a ton of articles and a couple of books on the subject. Yet, I'm scared of how I'll react when my little girl starts pushing boundaries. Whitney's been a mom for a few years longer than me, so I have lots of questions and concerns. We both know we don't want to do things the way our parents did it. But what does that look like when your kid hits your with a wooden train track?
Show notes:
*Whitney's awesome project My Post Baby Body
*50 years of research confirms that spanking is mentally harmful to children
*It seems like Time Outs aren't much better either
*Luckily there are lots of alternatives to Time Outs
*My #1 priority for my daughter: Emotional Support
_______________________________
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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! My own Mommy is the special guest for this episode. I ask her to do a little self evaluation as a parent. Then I tell her what it was like to be parented by her. It gets deep. We also discuss how parenting has changed since I was a kid. What would she have done differently? What does she think of me as a mother? Honestly, this is my favorite episode ever!
Show notes:
*My mom would like everyone to know where Guyana is. Here is a map.
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How did a year go by so fast? I try to get some insight from my friend Nadia Hussain. Her son turned 1 last month and my daughter turns 1 this week. Then my husband and I reflect on the year gone by. Did we get away with parenting? We ask our baby girl what she has to say on the matter. Her answers will surprise you. Just kidding! She can't really talk! But she does say "mama" and "dada" throughout this episode a lot.
Show notes:
*Nadia's funny blog post
*My baby does look fly in her overalls
*Yet Pinterest searches like this make me poor
__________________________
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Is it ok to make my baby a vegetarian if I'm not? I've been hesitant to feed my little one meat and sugary stuff because I want her to eat better than I do. Am I a hypocrite? Should I just share my burger and ice cream with her? Today I talk with my friend Sherisa de Groot about what she's feeding her vegetarian toddler. We also get into the different ways you can go about Baby Led Weaning. Sherisa is the founding editor of Raising Mothers and she's also the maker of a great P-I-Z-Z-A.
Show notes:
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We started using the Baby Led Weaning techniques when our baby was about 7 months old. This the website helped us get started.
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Sherisa uses the Yummly app to do her meal planning. I like the Yummly website too.
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Here's an article I found about the Ital Diet that my brother adheres to.
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Saskia Rumbelow-Lall is my guest this week. She's my longtime family friend and part of my Mommy Committee. I ask her how she chose the right daycare for her two kids and what I should look for in a daycare for my baby. Then, it's the first installment of Tool Time! My husband and I talk about a book we've been reading: The Conscious Parent. This must be the manual they forgot to give us at the hospital. Just kidding! It's a great book that might help us not screw up our daughter too much. We hope!
Show notes:
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Saskia's kids go to a Reggio Emilia philosophy nursery and preschool.
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Dr. Shefali has a bunch of clips on YouTube. We've watch most of them because reading the book together is kind of hard.
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RIE is also something we're working on
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My wonderful father-in-law sits down with me to talk about grandparenting. I ask him if he's finished parenting now that his kid has a kid. Then he blows my mind with a revelation about my daughter, his son (her father) and another family member! We also talk about nature versus nurture and how fatherhood has changed in the past 30 years. Oh, and I do a call for guests at the end of the episode. Do you want to be on the podcast? Let me know!
Email me: htgawppodcast@gmail.com
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On this episode my friend, and world class artist, Andrea Chung joins me on a Saturday night to talk about our kids. We cover everything from birth, postpartum depression, sippy cups, Youtube vlogs, and racism on the playground. I don't know if I'm ready to deal with this yet. But at least I have friends like Andrea that I can talk to about it.
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Expert alert! On this episode I talk with Kenya Fairley, a birth doula with a particular focus on trauma-informed birth support for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Isn't it great that she exists! We talk about what a doula does and does not do and how her work helps empower expectant mothers. I share a bit about my great experience with my doula. Plus, Kenya hears all about the wolf that was chasing me while I was in labor.
Email me: htgawppodcast@gmail.com
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Website me: www.htgawp.com
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Resources Kenya mentions:
- International Center for Traditional Childbearing 2. Ancient Song Doula Services 3. Mama Glow
My longtime friend Sonnet Swaby-Brizan helps me sift through all the thoughts in my brain about having a second baby. She's firmly planted on one side of the fence. I'm sitting in the middle. I mention this article during our conversation that reminds us that every baby is different. It's a crap shoot! Plus, it's the first installment of: Tell Me What You Know. A new segment where I mine information from someone who knows something I don't. My podcast Godmother and personal finance writer, Mandi Woodruff, clues me in on educating kids about money. Are allowances still a thing? Are we poor? Buckets full of money? There's a lot to think about.
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I confess to my friend, and musical phenom, Donwill, that I'm not that into music. Then we try to come up with a healthy musical menu for my kid's childhood. Are Prince songs too racy for a baby? We also chat about his daughter's budding filmmaking career and her alter ego. We both just want our children to know that we'll be there for them, no matter what. Even if that means they want to turn into a dog or a donut. It's a fun conversation!
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My friend and neighbor, Meiyin Wang, came downstairs to chat with me. She's moving to California and also traveling to Singapore with her baby. Oh yeah, she's got to figure out how to get her dog across the country too. And, she wows me with her incredible toe pick up skills. Plus, it's the first installment of the "Wah, Wah, Wah" series with my friend Laura Camins. We talk about everything we hate about pumping at work. Spoiler alert: we hate pumping at work.
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I'm talking to my pal Adam Gerloff in this episode. He's a father of two girls and he's a teacher in Brooklyn. So, I grill him on everything from nose blowing tutorials to the difference between daycare, preschool and Pre-K. Plus he's a jujitsu master chopper!
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In this episode I chat with my friend Dallia Herrtage about her experiences giving birth and becoming a new parent in the U.S. We also get into the tough stuff about breastfeeding and formula feeding. And the cool stuff about my newest obsession, Baby Led Weening! Racial constructs and racism in the U.S. and the U.K. Is there any hope? We think so.
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On this inaugural episode I sit down with my friend, and fellow new mom, Leslie Sultan. We talk about what our kids are into, what we are into, and the surprising parts about having a biracial baby. Lots of awkwardness.