Ba Vojdaan! with James and Sana: Recent Episodes
James Newcomb and Sana Dorry
با وجدان (Ba Vojdaan) is Persian for "conscious".
James and Sana met in March 2019 after James left his email address on a scrap of paper in the beak of a courier pigeon, which somehow ended up as a stowaway on a cargo ship headed for China. The note w/ James' email address got caught up in a windstorm at the port in Qingdao and landed precipitously on the (non-American) football field at British University of Vietnam, where Sana was leading a group of amateur tai chi enthusiasts during their morning routine prior to beginning the day's courses. Mistaking the email address for that of her local supplier of matcha green tea, Sana emailed immediately to refill her supply. James playfully went along with the dialogue for several emails, until finally revealing he indeed had no green tea to sell, but would be willing to share his undying devotion and commitment until the end of time and beyond.
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In this hair-raising, no-frills edition of Ba Vojdaan, James and Sana discuss actionable steps to take prior to travel in the event the airline loses your luggage.
As was the case with James, who arrived in Vietnam last Friday only be told his bags were not on the same plane as he was. In fact, it took over 4 days to locate the bags and get them to the right place.
James and Sana recorded this on the car ride to the airport to retrieve the bags. Thankfully nothing was lost, stolen or damaged, and life in Paradise continues.
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Yesterday was a bit difficult. It was an emotional time because it was my final day with my son, Gabriel for it's going to be some time I expect it'll be a few months.
It was a different goodbye from my son. Yesterday than it has been in the past. I've left a couple of times before. And he's to the age where he's able to perceive his emotions and he's able to be aware of his emotions and express emotions in a way that he didn't when he was five and six years old, he's just about eight years old now.
And it was just, it was different and it was very, it was tearful for him. For me, it was very much. And there were some things that I said to him that I wanted to, it was just, I guess you could call it fatherly wisdom passing on to a son. And I did this in the spirit of helping him to cope with this.
So oftentimes that you go with the principle of what is said versus the actual letter of the law, so to speak. So the first thing that I told my son that I wanted him to do while I was away is to be good to his mother, to do what his mother says to Listened to his mom and be respectful to his mom because it's difficult.
The second thing that I said to my son was it's okay to cry. I don't want my son to think that he has to hold his emotions in he's to the age he's at the age where he's going to be inclined to think that crying is for wimps it's for sissies big boys don't cry.
We all think that men think that. We think that we're too good to cry, but I told him Gabriel, it's okay to cry. If you feel like you need to cry. It's okay. It's totally human to cry when you get emotional, when you get sad. It's okay. And then the third thing that I told them, Was to when he is feeling angry, when he's feeling upset and he feels like he's going to get angry at something, just take a deep breath.
I told him, oftentimes when you get angry at something really small, like something really small will trigger your anger and you just, whatever you have a reaction. And it's not that one little thing. It may be, maybe it's something that is upsetting in and of itself, but it doesn't warrant the reaction that some that we sometimes have at that small little thing.
And I told him when you feel like you're about to get angry at something, just take a deep breath, breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. And I don't know if he is going to remember that exact instruction to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. But I think that he will remember to breathe when he's feeling upset, angry at something.
I asked him to repeat what I had said a couple of times and he said it right back to me. He said, be good to my mom. It's okay to cry. And. Take a deep breath when I'm feeling angry.
Those three things I wanted to share with you, because I think that they could be of use that could be a value to really anyone that listens and is dealing with any type of stressful situation. Not just a separation from a loved one, but really anything.
I hope that this little recording that I made is a value to you and we'll be in your ear ball soon.
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Still waiting on the good to show up...
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James revealed an idiosyncrasy about the army that drove him crazy; Sana talks him off the ledge.
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Enjoy this article Sana shared the other day with James: 30 Jokes That Only Grammar Nerds Will Understand And Appreciate.
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BBC article mentioned: Why is Rumi the best-selling poet in the US?
11 Reasons You'll Fall in Love With Iran's People
Read the list at jamesandsana.com
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When I first began getting to know Sana in 2019, she said something that didn't immediately click with me, but the more I thought about it I realized it made a lot of sense.
She calls it "the rule of 3", meaning if someone asks more than 3 questions when you first meet them, beware. They're likely a gossip, or worse trying to get information that will allow them to do you harm.
This is a bit difficult for Americans because we tend to be a bit careless with our words, perhaps a bit unassuming, maybe too trusting of humanity in general. I would bet that lots of cops and thieves would agree. And when you factor in all the silliness, the otherwise private things we at one time would share with only close friends and family on Facebook with our digital "friends" so we can get a little ego boost, it's quite alarming if you think about it.
Sana and I discussed this, among other things such as how to keep an upbeat attitude when life circumstances go awry, in the latest rollicking, frolicking installment of the Ba Vojdaan Newccast. (I'm done calling it a podcast, why give Apple free promotion with my precious intellectual property?)
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James and Sana get into a spirited discussion regarding gender roles in the family.
Probably won't hear these views on the mainstream family values station any time soon!
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Imagine Batman without the Joker, or the Penguin, or any of the other villains in the comics and movies.
Or Superman without Lex Luthor, or those three individuals with equal powers to Superman but who broke bad in their spirit and wished harm and destruction upon Planet Earth?
How utterly boring would that be?
It was the villains that made those shows and comics watchable/readable. A villain who did an awful thing made Batman himself if I recall correctly.
We revile the villains, the misfits, the outsiders. It gives us a sense of security in our bubble of righteousness.
"Maybe I've got issues, but at least I'm not him..."
"What a mess she is..."
And so on and so forth.
But can you imagine life without them?
Superman and Lois Lane just flying around looking gaw-gaw at each other? I'll give that a hard pass.
How about a movie with Batman giving a David Attenborough style tour of Gotham City? I'm laughing at the thought of it.
Our society has lost its character in many ways, because being a character has become taboo.
The 1970's was a generation of misfits, and I dare say this world was better for it. Contrast that with the totalitarian sameness of a communist society, and you would probably be quick to take the flaws of a misfit society. We certainly would.
That generation had character, because people were allowed to be characters.
Things that people routinely lose their livelihoods over, have their reputations ruined here in 2021 was part of life not that long ago. Someone had an unsavory opinion on something? You just accepted it, lived with it, and maybe even learned something from a differing point of view, albeit with language you'd just as soon not hear.
It used to be part of life. These days? Not so much.
Humanity with all its flaws and errors, dare I say it, helped form people's character.
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The idea of conscientiously objecting to the idea of war has been around for as long as wars have existed - which is to say for all of recorded history, and undoubtedly prior to that too.
The United States has had more than its fair share of conscientious objectors. While it's thankfully not as big an issue in the last 50 years or so with an all-volunteer military, there are in fact members of the military today who seek to be discharged because they realize their personal beliefs are incompatible with their commitment to the military.
James found himself in that exact predicament about 5 years into his stint in the Army where he was employed as a musician. This is circa 2014-15. Although in a non-combat role, the very participation in - not to mention garnering public support for - an activity he deeply objected to led him to seek discharge as a conscientious objector.
In this episode of Ba Vojdaan, Sana asks James questions about:
- What defines a conscientious objector
- What life was like identifying as a CO while still on active duty
- How the process ended up playing out
- And more
It's kind of a heavy topic, guaranteed to invoke an emotional response whether positive or negative. So fair warning before you press play ;)
And be sure to check us out on the web at jamesandsana.com
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In this fact-free, fun-filled episode, James and Sana explain "Ba Vojdaan", the new name of the podcast, an embarrassing and hilarious gaffe James made with Sana's mother, a prank we played on James' mom and just a little bit more!
Enjoy the show!
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What comes first, the chicken or the egg?What comes first, love or marriage?Sana and James discuss love, marriages - both arranged and "free-will" and the drawbacks to both - and much more.Bottom line: Love isn't an emotion; it's an action. It is experienced when we put in the work to make it happen. Like making your husband eggs for breakfast, but we digress.Lust is often mistaken for love, and many a marriage has been founded on that shaky ground, with no real outcome than its demise - especially in this culture of hyper-individualism and where the sacred institutions of society have more or less abdicated its authority in such affairs to the state.James and Sana also recount their very first phone call together in March 2019.Enjoy!
If you enjoy these podcasts that James and Sana produce, perhaps you'll consider supporting us financially.As you may have heard, we are in the process of obtaining a visa for Sana to reside in the United States. And boy it aint cheap. If you'd like to help us out with covering the attorney's fees, filing fees, copying fees (it cost nearly $200 just to make copies of all the materials in our application), and many more things, we'd be tremendously grateful.If you choose not to, that's okay too. We love making these podcasts as it has grown us closer together as a couple, and we're glad other people are able to share in our exploits as we grow our new family!Click here to send your contributionSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/james-and-sana.
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It's been awhile since Sana and I made a podcast. It turns out we sort of missed it, and wanted to record a quick update for y'all who apparently tune in.
I was pleasantly surprised to see well over 150 downloads for some of our episodes, so it looks like there's something of a demand for what we say. And for good reason. I cling to every word that Sana says, which is why I married her!
So enjoy this short little chat, and we promise there will be more to come in the future!
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If we were merely interested, we would not have made it through our first year of marriage.
This is our story.
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"Mr. Newcomb..." said the voice on the other end of the line.
"Yes."
"This is the hotel manager. Did you break the rules of the hotel this morning?"
Silence. I could practically feel the white-hot lights in the interrogation room burning into my skin, my freedom hinging on what I would say next.
"Mr. Newcomb, did you break the rules of the quarantine this morning?"
"Did you see me breaking the rules?"
"I saw it on the video camera."
"I see."
"Mr. Newcomb, would you like me to assist you in moving to the army barracks to do the remainder of your quarantine? Because I'll be happy to do so if that's your wish."
"Now why would you do that?"
"We notified the local authority, and they told us we should send you to the army barracks because you broke the rules of the hotel this morning."
Silence.
"I need some water sent to my room."
"What size?"
"The big 19 liter jug."
"Okay, it's coming right up, sir."
Click.
The water arrived a few minutes later.
The above conversation actually happened this morning at the hotel where I'm serving my mandatory 14-day quarantine upon my arrival in Vietnam to live with my wife Sana.
What was my crime? you're probably asking.
I walked outside my room in the hallway, attempting to mimic something that resembles a walk. It was 6 am, and not a soul was in sight. But the rule clearly states that "guests" are not permitted to leave their hotel room for any reason.
Now, I don't mind rules that are intended to keep Covid out of the country. It's their home, I'm more or less visiting. What bothers me, whether for disease prevention or anything else, is rules that exist just to exist. And people who enforce them for no other reason than they're there - common sense, or the mental health of paying guests at a hotel be damned.
As petty and childish as the hotel manager was, there's an important lesson to be gleaned from this experience.
From my perspective, these people are unreasonable, to the point of being even fanatical in their hyper-compliance with the rules.
But it kind of puts to shame many who have a business, a side-hustle, a ministry who don't have the same zeal.
I'm not saying we should emulate the indifference to the welfare of other human beings. But in the spirit of not throwing out the baby with the bath water, there is an important lesson to be learned from this other wise negative experience.
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If you enjoy these podcasts that James and Sana produce, perhaps you'll consider supporting us financially.
As you may have heard, we are in the process of obtaining a visa for Sana to reside in the United States. And boy it aint cheap. If you'd like to help us out with covering the attorney's fees, filing fees, copying fees (it cost nearly $200 just to make copies of all the materials in our application), and what not, we'd be tremendously grateful.
If you choose not to, that's okay too. We love making these podcasts as it has grown us closer together as a couple, and we're glad other people are able to share in our exploits as we grow a new family!
Click here to send your contribution
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A Different Shade of Green
Got an idea for James and Sana to discuss on the show?
Got a question about Persian culture?
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James and Sana continue their podcasting exploits in this fact-free, fun-filled episode.
BTW, we now have a website! jamesandsana.com
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"Your sushi is terrible!" said Gabriel, 6, to his father, James Newcomb.
So it goes in James' rented apartment on the oceanfront of Virginia Beach, VA while he awaits the arrival of his wife Shafieh (Sana) Dorry when her visa to reside in the United States is approved by the State Department.
The recent failed attempt at making sushi is the latest in a string of culinary mishaps which has befallen James and Gabriel. Police reports reveal responses to complaints of burnt blueberry pancakes, overdone turkey bacon, and meat in a spaghetti sauce with the texture of an Adidas running sneaker.
Sana's arrival in the U.S. will be most welcome, not only to bring a degree of competence into the kitchen, but to finally unite a young child and his stepmother, with whom he has corresponded only via video chat since March 2019.
When this podcast went to press, James was seen poring over a Betty Crocker™ cookbook planning dinner.
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**This just may be the most important podcast episode of our lifetimes.
We're certain that if you listen to this episode, you'll find something of value in it.
Thing is, we're not exactly sure where.
Sana gave James an introductory lesson in the Persian language, we discussed the best way to boil potatoes, and even managed to squeeze in a discussion on Biblical history among other topics.
Enjoy!
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(James) While I was living in Vietnam earlier this year, Sana and I went to a shopping mall to just hang out. It was very odd that the mall was playing kids music - think Wheels On the Bus, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, stuff like that.
We discussed this on today's podcast. While Sana's rationale as to why the mall management would do that makes sense, it got me to thinking about how mainstream art as a whole has degraded to what it is today.
Seriously... Does anyone think that Justin Timberlake holds a candle to Simon and Garfunkel, George Gershwin, Mozart, etc. when it comes to artistic integrity.
Those cats were the Justin Timberlake of their time as far as popularity, cultural "relevance" and such.
Think about that.
The decline we see in social norms, off the charts anxiety and depression, mass shootings, etc. along with this decline in artistic integrity is not a coincidence.
And now the arts are basically at a standstill during the COVID-19 era.
Sana and I touched on this briefly, but truth be told, I wished we would have gone much longer on this one.
I guess that's the beauty of a podcast. You can always fill in the gaps next week, right?
Enjoy!
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Well, Sana got a week off this week. She's got another week to devise ways to exploit James' weaknesses to gain the upper hand in their on-show banter.
But this one is a doozy. James interviewed his friend and fellow podcast host Jason Heath this past week. Jason is a professional symphony bassist and hosts a show called Contrabass Conversations. Jason "gets it" when it comes to tribe-building and building community around a podcast. His show generates over one million downloads per year at last count!
So he knows a thing or two about running a successful podcast, and is always game for a friendly chat to talk business, media production and life.
Among the more salient points in our discussion:
-Why a podcast is like your baby...5:00
-People are into you, not the topic...7:30
-Why put out content when there's already so much out there?...10:00
-Your hero podcaster didn't start out as a rock star...13:00
-The true meaning of entertainment..18:40
-How to kill your credibility while pitching your product...29:10
-An unconventional route to success in the digital media world...40:15
Check out Jason's work at contrabassconversations.com
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There's a truth all podcast host need to embrace...You're an entertainer first and foremost. This causes a bit of cognitive dissonance in a lot of podcast hosts who start their show for good reasons: to make a positive impact in the lives of those who listen to it.
"Entertainment" is circus monkeys and free candy in our minds. To "entertain" our listeners seems to run afoul of noble purposes that many podcasters have.
Well, they don't understand what it means to entertain. To sum up, it means this:
Don't be boring.
If you can follow that one rule, you're guaranteed to have an entertaining show. The value that you intend for listeners to take away will come out, whether it's an entertaining, captivating presentation, or a dull, boring lecture.
No one likes a lecture, you may as well be entertaining.
Sana and James discuss what it means to be entertaining, and share a few principles on how to do so with integrity and in a way that ensures your message will be heard - and remembered!
This is a topic that will be covered in James' new book: Podcasting Principles. To sign up for your free copy delivered to your email inbox, go to beatinpath.media to join the wait list.
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"Add value!" say all the business and entrepreneur types on their podcasts, emails, blogs, YouTubes, and the like.
Funny thing is all these podcasts, blogs, videos, etc. look, sound and feel exactly the same as every other podcast, blog and YouTube video out there.
It's as though it's a race to see who can be the best at copying the Facebook Guru of the Month. Follow the template these gurus establish, then do it with more energy, more frequency, more contrived pizzazz than the next guy or gal.
Sana and I discuss this concept of "adding value" to stuff we put out in this week's podcast. Not to give away who killed Professor Plum in the library before the game begins, but we take issue with the concept of "adding value" to our content the way many seem to view it.
BTW, Here's the poem by Rumi that Sana mentioned
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James evaluates Sana in this stunning new episode of our little show.
If you'll recall, we discussed the 6 variables that make up the KLT (know, like, trust) factor in your business, relationships, ministry, what have you.
The 6 variables are:
- Expert authority
- Likability
- Commitment and consistency
- Reciprocation
- Social proof
- Scarcity
To the shock of no one, Sana scored extremely well on her very first Wife Performance Review (WPR). And James isn't complaining about anything either.
We also talked about decision making, and when you know beyond the shadow of a doubt it's time to take action on something you've been mulling over.
Enjoy!
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I clearly remember my very first podcast interview. I don't remember my second podcast interview, because it went without a hiccup. So you can maybe see where I'm going with this.
Translation: the first one was...memorable.
It was for a podcast titled Outside the Music Box, and I wanted to explore Albert Einstein's love of music. Einstein loved to play his violin so much he even said in an interview that had he not chosen the field of physics, he would have been a musician.
Well, thank goodness he didn't choose to be a violinist - his mind was put to much better use as a physicist. But that love of music intrigued me, so much so that I wanted to talk about it on my new podcast.
So I did a bit of research (fancy term for a google search) and found a fellow who's a physics professor at Oxford University who's lectured and published a few videos about Einstein; he even collaborated with a professional violinist for his presentations.
That's my man, I thought. But...this was definitely outside my comfort zone. Not only was I doing interviews for the first time in my life, I was interviewing a freaking physics professor at Oxford. It may not sound intimidating reading this copy, but it sure was for me at the time.
I would have greatly preferred to get a few interviews under my belt before taking on this challenge. My years as a performer taught me that preparation is the key to dealing with intimidating situations. With enough preparation, you can handle anything.
It turns out this person was my first ever interview. I had never interviewed anyone, for any reason, not even for the high school newspaper. Well, the show must go on, as they say. I was determined to be a podcaster, and I was going to just soldier on and get it done.
I spent the time between confirming the Skype call (probably a week or so) visualizing this interview; visualizing asking the questions, my voice, my phrasing. I was as prepared as I could be given the circumstances. We exchanged pleasantries on the call, I hit record, and...
Blankness. I froze. The neurons in my brain that ordinarily tell my tongue to move and produce sounds in a manner in which communication with other human beings is possible - they just up and quit working. Went on strike, some sort of dispute over "benefits" I later learned.
In moments like this, PANIC is at the ready, waiting on the performer to falter just enough to get its foot in the door and eventually ruin the whole event.
Fortunately I had enough performing experience that I was able to draw on in this moment of near-catastrophe. I apologized to my guest, who was very gracious through all of it, then took a few deep breaths, waited a moment, and began.
I'm not going to say that I hit a homerun, but I will say I hit the ball squarely. A respectable showing for a first interview, and given the circumstances, a bit of a feather in the old cap.
All this to say that if you're concerned about how you're going to sound or present yourself at the very beginning of any endeavor, be it a podcast, a youtube channel, or what have you, rest assured that you're not going to sound very good.
Why would you expect to sound like a pro your first time? When you made love to your spouse the first time, was it fantastic? Probably not. In fact, it was probably disappointing.
Such is life. Your audience doesn't expect you to sound great. They expect you to sound terrible. If you can manage to sound like you have some experience under your belt, then that's terrific, but that's not why people tune in. They tune in because you have a message. You care about this message so much that you're willing to confront those fears of getting out there and just getting it done.
Your listeners/fans/followers will appreciate that far more than sterling production quality.
So if you didn't get all that, get this: Give yourself permission to suck. If it's not 100%, or even 65% of what you want right out the gate, it's okay. You'll get better.
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Episode credits:
Directed by: James Newcomb
Produced by: James Newcomb
All creative genius provided by: James Newcomb
Blame for James' trivial goof in said production NOT cast by: Sana Dorry
No animals nor egos were unnecessarily damaged in the production of this podcast episode.
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How do you define success?...1:10
Should I have a strategy to capitalize on Spotify's recent power moves?...7:55
How James and Sana are bringing back live music...18:10
And much more!
To check out more of James and Sana's adventures and to keep tabs on the effort to bring her to the U.S. follow along at jamesandsana.com
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Everyone's got one...
No, I'm not talking about your belly button or your opinion on the pace of reopening society from the COVID-19 issue.
I'm talking about embarrassing moments -- that we're okay sharing publicly. I have plenty of moments that will remain with me only for all time. But Sana and I have also made some pretty bone-headed moves that in hindsight are pretty funny.
I guess as long as no one gets hurt, it's okay to laugh, right?
Enjoy!
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“I’m not good at sales,” many people say.
The truth is, if you have a pulse, you sell. It may not be selling real estate or toilet paper to the local shopping mall, but you’ve got to sell. It could be a child selling his parents on why a cookie before dinner is a good idea. It could be a job interview where you’re selling the person or people on why they should pay you for your services.
It seems that some people are “naturals” when it comes to selling. While these people perhaps have a certain charisma in their personality that others lack, the truth is truly successful sales people have learned and mastered 6 attributes. You may use different words from what I’m using, but it’s the principles I want to focus on, not semantics.
These attributes cause people to Know, Like and Trust (KLT) you. The more of them you can employ in any situation where you’re selling yourself or a product/service, the better off you’ll be.
I liken this to a vehicle. Think of the KLT as the model of the car you drive while you're selling - be it a job interview, selling a course, an audition for the community theater production, lining up a gig at the local coffee shop, selling coaching services, you get the idea. It's what gets you from Point A (no sale) to Point B (the other party is buying).
Any product needs this vehicle. And the higher the value of the product, the more reliable it needs to be.
Now, there are 6 attributes, or elements which I liken to the "fuel" for your KLT vehicle. These things are indispensable for powering the KLT vehicle, and the more of them you can use, the more reliable the vehicle will be. I realize that other words could be used in their place, and there may be one or two other attributes you can think of that I didn't. Whatever the case may be, this list does a good job of summing up the issue.
So here they are:
- Expert authority
- Likability
- Commitment and consistency
- Reciprocation
- Social proof
- Scarcity
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James Newcomb and wife Sana Dorry discuss how our reactions and our mindset determine how our circumstances affect our quality of life, particularly when circumstances go awry.
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