chrisscullion – Tired Old Hack: Recent Episodes
None
It’s tiiiiiiiime.
Following the releases of the NES, SNES, Mega Drive / Genesis, N64 and Dreamcast Encyclopedias, yer man has finally taken things portable with my first ever encyclopedia dedicated to a handheld system.
Well, two handheld systems, actually. The Game Boy Encyclopedia covers not only every game released in the west for the Game Boy, but also for its successor, the Game Boy Color.
The book is currently due for release in late September, but both the N64 and Dreamcast Encyclopedias turned up a little early so I’m making sure to start taking pre-orders for signed copies with plenty of time to spare.
The Game Boy Encylopedia is my largest book to date, and will come in at around 50 pages more than the biggest book so far, The Mega Drive & Genesis Encyclopedia.
We’re looking at a total of 1,148 games covered across both the Game Boy and Game Boy Color, every game released in Europe, the Americas and Australia.
I should also point out early on that, for the first time, the book will cost a fiver more. This is down to the publisher, not me – my books usually have a cover price of £30 but the Game Boy Encylopedia will cost £35 purely because it has another 50 pages or so and therefore costs more to print and bind.
As ever, every game gets a description and a screenshot, and because there are so many this time they’ll be split into quarter-page and half-page entries.
Here’s a couple of sample spreads for you, one from the Game Boy section and one from the Game Boy Color section, to give you an idea of what to expect (especially if you’ve never seen any of my previous books before).
When a lot of people think of the Game Boy they think of Pokémon, and when I think of Pokémon I think of Serebii.net so I’m delighted to confirm that the foreword has been written by Joe Merrick, the webmaster behind the legendary Pokémon website. Serebii celebrates its 25th anniversary this year, so I couldn’t be happier to have Joe’s words opening my book.
Sold? Lovely. As with all my previous books, The Game Boy Encyclopedia will be available at all good book shops (and plenty of mediocre ones) around the world.
Whether your preference is Amazon (all countries), Waterstones, Barnes & Noble, Indigo / Chapters or even Walmart, all you have to do is search for ‘Chris Scullion’ on your site of choice and with any luck, you’ll find it available to pre-order. It’s already up on Amazon, for example.
If you live in the UK though – for now – and want to support yer man directly, then until the end of July you can pre-order a signed copy directly from me. Here’s how to do it.
Signed copy pre-ordersAs ever, I genuinely don’t care where you choose to buy the book from. I spend day and night sweating over these things so that people read and enjoy them, so I’m frankly just delighted that you take an interest in my work wherever you choose to hand over your money for it.
That said, if you like the personal touch or just prefer to support creators directly, I’m selling a limited number of Game Boy Encyclopedia books directly here.
The book is an open pre-order until the end of July, which means you don’t have to worry about me running out.
How it works is this: once I see how many people have pre-ordered the book by the end of the month, I’ll round that up to a nice round number (so I’ve got some spare copies) and that’s what I’ll order from the publisher.
If 143 people order one, for example, it’ll be limited to 150. That way anyone who wants one will definitely get one.
Here are the brutally honest pros and cons of buying directly from me.
PROS• It’ll be personally signed and numbered by yer man Scullion.
• Retailers are a bit of a dice-roll: Amazon was weeks late at delivering my SNES book, but surprisingly quick with the Mega Drive one.
• It’ll be sent through recorded delivery by the Royal Mail and will come with PayPal buyer protection in case anything goes wrong.
• You’ll be supporting me in the best way because I get a far greater royalty for each book sold: £17.50 for signed books sold through Tired Old Hack, £3.50 for books sold everywhere else, roughly £1.75 for books sold on Amazon.
CONS• Although I’m only charging the cover price £35 plus postage and packaging (£41 in total), this is still probably the most expensive way to get the book, since I can’t offer a discount on either the cover price or shipping, so almost every other book shop will be cheaper (Amazon in particular). You’re paying full price for the signature, basically.
• If you don’t care so much about the signature and just want the book, ordering directly from the publisher Pen & Sword Books will get you it cheaper than ordering it from me, and you’ll get it earlier than anyone else because they obviously get the stock in first. You really only want to order it from me if you want it signed, or you really care about me getting more royalties.
Still keen to buy from me? Lovely.
Before I give you the PayPal link to put down your pre-order, please make sure you read the instructions below. It’s all fairly straightforward but if any of the steps are missing it could hold up the process:
SERIOUSLY, PLEASE READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS. EVERY SINGLE YEAR SOMEONE DOESN’T READ THE INSTRUCTIONS AND I HAVE TO PLAY DETECTIVE PIKACHU TRYING TO FIND THEM THEN CHASING THEM UP FOR SOME MISSING INFO. THESE ARE OPEN PRE-ORDERS, IT WILL NOT SELL OUT. PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME. DON’T RUSH.• Before you even click anything, please bear in mind I can only deliver to people in the UK for now. I’m going to be dealing with a large number of orders and I’m handling them all myself, so I need to keep things simple with a single price and a single delivery type. Again, sorry for the bold text, but UK ORDERS ONLY PLEASE. I promise you every single time I launch a new book I get a couple of international orders who ignore this and I have to get in touch to refund them. I am currently looking into selling to the US and Canada at least, but until you hear otherwise it’s UK ONLY.
• Click the link below. You’ll be automatically taken to a PayPal site already set up to pay me the full price. It’ll cost £41 – this covers the full price of the book, packing material and recorded delivery postage through Royal Mail (so I can chase it in the very unlikely event that you don’t get your book).
• Look carefully for a bit that asks you to specify what the payment is for (apparently the PayPal app has changed its UI a bit so you may have to look for this). Choose that and leave me a note telling me what name you’d like me to sign the book to. While I’ll be using your real name to post the book, if you’d rather I signed it to your username or nickname, this is where you can let me know. If you don’t want me to sign it to any name, please write “no name” in the notes so I know. If you don’t write anything at all I’ll have to chase you up to find out what you want, and if I can’t get hold of you or you don’t reply I’ll just sign my name and nothing else.
• Make sure the payment is marked as “paying for goods or a service” instead of just sending money to a friend. Not only does this help protect your payment if the delivery goes missing, it actually lets you give me your address. Otherwise, you know, I can’t send you the thing. A few people always miss this part out and it’s a huge hassle for us both so let me make it clearer in bold: This bit is VERY IMPORTANT. If you don’t choose to pay for goods or a service, it won’t let you give me your address. I need your address to send you the book, and if I can’t get in touch with you I’ll have to refund your order.
• You should see the option to choose your address. PLEASE make sure you have the correct address there, because that’s where I’m going to be sending the book. There’ll be an option to add a new address if you don’t have one stored on PayPal, or if the one you still have on your PayPal account is out of date. Last time one person accidentally had their old address listed and only managed to get their copy because luckily a family member still lived there. I can’t chase this up for you if it goes to the wrong house, so PLEASE make sure it’s right.
• Job done! Once I get the order in I’ll personally send you an email (to the email your PayPal account is registered to) and confirm that I got the order. I’ll be sending these manually, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t get a confirmation email right away (other than a PayPal one). In case you haven’t noticed, Summer Game Fest week is just about to start and I’ll be covering the hell out of that, and in July I’m going to be in Japan for a week and a half, so it may be a couple of days before you get your email in some cases.
• I’m happy to draw wee doodles or write specific messages when signing the book, within reason. Please don’t ask for anything really elaborate (I’ll probably be doing well over 100 of these), and if I’m not comfortable with what you ask me to write I’ll politely decline. Speaking from experience here!
Right, with all that said, if you’re up for it, here’s the link. Some people have been reporting that it’s not filling in the £41 automatically, so if it shows you a blank amount please enter that.
PRE-ORDER THE GAME BOY ENCYCLOPEDIA (UK ONLY, £41)If you do decide to buy the book, whether you order a signed copy or order from somewhere else, thank you so much for doing so.
The Game Boy Encyclopedia is my largest book to date and it was also by far the hardest to write, because there’s surprisingly little information available on quite a lot of Game Boy titles. That just makes the book even more important though, in my opinion.
I’ll see you in two years’ time for an even bigger book – the gargantuan PlayStation Encyclopedia – but until then I hope you enjoy my first handheld encyclopedia.
Thanks everyone.
Chris
This article is available in both written and video format. The video shows the games in action in full 4K and 60 frames per second while I read the article as a voiceover, so if you watch the video you won’t need to read the written article that follows since it’s the same ‘script’. The video can be viewed here:
Another year has passed, and it’s fair to say it’s been one of the best in terms of game releases (even if it’s been one of the worst for the business itself). Not that I necessarily got much exposure to a lot of this year’s AAA releases, mind you: mainly because of various plate-spinning antics at the start of the year, and the small matter of the Game Boy Encyclopedia proving much more complicated than expected, yer man missed out on a lot of 2023‘s best games.
What this does mean, at least, is that my Best Games of 2023 list should be a little more unusual than the others you’ll have seen to date, because the number of AAA games featured is relatively low. Hopefully, then, my downfall will have its benefits here, as you might stumble upon something you may be less familiar with.
Because of a household illness which started on Boxing Day and is only just beginning to let up now, this video comes a little later than usual. However, now that I can string a sentence together without sounding like John Hurt playing the Elephant Man, I finally present my 10 favourite games of 2023.
As with every year’s list, there are a few caveats to bear in mind before we get started:
• This is in alphabetical order, not best to worst. I can’t be arsed deciding whether a game was my 7th or 8th favourite of the year. They’re all great: get them all.
• Before you even think about writing a comment saying this, I didn’t “forget” anything. As I’ve already explained, the reason my list looks very different from most of the others you’ve seen so far isn’t an attempt to be quirky or pretentious, it’s just because I reviewed very few of this year’s AAA games, and because this is my personal list I can only pick from what I’ve played. So no, I didn’t forget Tears of the Kingdom, Spider-Man 2, Alan Wake 2 or Baldur’s Gate 3: they’re just all on my backlog and I haven’t gotten round to playing them yet.
That said, let’s get cracking!
Dead SpaceEA’s 2023 version of Dead Space did a great job of preserving everything that made the original so enjoyable, while adding just enough bells and whistles to make it feel more modern.
Obviously the game looks significantly better than the Xbox 360 and PS3 original, but it also freshens things up by tweaking the narrative, adding new side missions, and removing some of the more annoying elements of the original game.
The clunky zero gravity sections control a hell of a lot better, the lighting improvements are night and day (literally) and the decision to give protagonist Isaac a voice means the game can retain the same story beats (though there are a few changes in there) while still making all the dialogue feel fresh.
It’s a fairly brisk 10-12 hours to play through so it’s worth a look, especially because I’d imagine it’ll be added to the EA Play library this year.
Disney SpeedstormAnyone who knows me knows I love my karting games, and I genuinely think Disney Speedstorm is one of the better examples of the genre I’ve played (at least in terms of actual gameplay), as long as you can put up with its free-to-play nonsense.
Gameloft’s free-to-play racing game has changed a bit since its original Early Access version and the microtransactions are a lot more in-your-face than they were at launch.
As long as you can resist them, though, there’s still a great kart racing game in here with solid season-based gameplay and a brilliant roster of popular and niche Disney characters: there are now 45 racers with no sign of the updates stopping any time soon.
It’s also got one of the most ridiculous soundtracks I’ve heard in a licensed game, with the musicians seemingly getting free rein to do weird stuff with classic Disney themes. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard dubstep Bear Necessities.
Forza MotorsportIt’s been six years since the last main game in the Forza Motorsport series, and while Forza Horizon has almost become the flagship brand (despite originally starting as a spin-off) there’s still something nice about just racing cars around a track.
The new Forza Motorsport looks incredible – it’s hard to tell whether this or Gran Turismo 7 are the best-looking racing games ever because they each focus their visuals on slightly different elements – and the handling is so perfectly tweaked that hurtling your car round each track is massively satisfying.
At launch it was lacking in content and a few months down the line it’s still pretty bare-bones despite the addition of a new track and some new championships. It’s clear that Microsoft considers this new Forza a platform on which new features will be added over the months and years.
As it stands right now, though, it’s a perfect Game Pass title, because you can jump in, play a few races then jump out without having to commit 100 hours in a row to it. To have such an accomplished, brilliantly presented racing game ready and waiting for a quick race is a joy.
The Making of KaratekaDigital Eclipse’s Atari 50 was on my 2022 list, and this year it introduced its Gold Master Series, where it plans to choose a game creator or series and give it similar treatment.
Just like Atari 50, then, The Making of Karateka is a sort of playable documentary where you play through a number of timelines (a bit like museum exhibitions) and check out the images, documents and video clips included: in this case, following the early days of Prince of Persia creator Jordan Mechner and the making of his first major game, Karateka.
Each time you reach a part in the timeline where a game appears – be that an unreleased prototype or what have you – you then get to play that game. Because Digital Eclipse presents you these games along with their context in history, playing them feels a lot more meaningful than if they were just dumped in a multi-game retro compilation with no explanation.
This year Digital Eclipse will be releasing the next Gold Master Series game, which is based on the work of Jeff Minter. Based on Atari 50 and The Making of Karateka, I’ll be stunned if that doesn’t make my Best of 2024 list.
Mortal Kombat 1I used to be obsessed with the early Mortal Kombat games back in the 2D days. Back in the day, if you’d asked me anything about the original Mortal Kombat trilogy and its characters I’d have been able to give you all their backstory with a level of enthusiasm that verged on concerning.
As much as I’ve enjoyed the recent Mortal Kombat games, though, I’d be lying if I said I had a full grasp on the storyline these days: I’ve had no bloody idea what’s going on in the otherwise impressive Story modes. By rebooting the series with a timeline reset though, Mortal Kombat 1 has pulled me back in, in a big way.
The Story mode in this game is both comprehensive and comprehensible, which is nice to have. It’s also immaculately presented, making it probably the best-looking fighting game I’ve ever seen.
Add to that a Kameo system which, while not entirely original, does give the fights a bit more variety, as well as pre-order DLC which lets you play as Jean Claude Van Damme, and I couldn’t be happier.
Pocket Card Jockey: Ride OnThe original Pocket Card Jockey was released on the 3DS a decade ago in Japan before coming to the west in 2016. At the time I thought it was an underrated eShop puzzle game that not enough people got to enjoy.
Ride On is essentially a remake of that 3DS game and plays more or less the same with a few extra mechanics added on for good measure. Given it’s an Apple Arcade release it once again finds itself available to a smaller audience than it deserves, but if you have access to Apple’s subscription service, you absolutely should give it a go.
If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s basically a horse racing game in which your success is determined by how well you complete rounds of Solitaire Golf, where you remove cards in numerical order.
It’s a simple concept which takes five minutes to learn, but the fact your horses retire after a set number of races, and you have to continually breed new ones with different stats each time, means you could put tens of hours into this game and still feel like you’re making progress.
RoboCop: Rogue CityI wasn’t sure what to expect from Teyon’s RoboCop game, given that previous efforts by the studio included the average Terminator: Resistance and the awful Rambo: The Video Game. As it turns out, Robocop: Rogue City is the best adaptation of the 80s action hero I’ve ever played.
Although it’s an FPS at heart, it plays to the strengths (literally at times) of the main character, focusing less on strategic cover mechanics and more on wading into a sea of bullets, shrugging them off and shooting at bad guys’ heads until they explode.
Add to this some fun detective-based scanning sections to mix up the pace a bit, and some top-notch script work that places its tongue in its cheek without being ‘wink, wink’ every two seconds, and you’ve got a game that’s just big dumb fun from start to finish.
In a world of season passes, time-limited FOMO events and shoehorned multiplayer, it’s lovely to play something that has none of this.
Sonic SuperstarsAny time Sega tries to release a modern Sonic game that feels like the Mega Drive originals, it goes one of three ways: 2D pixel graphics and surprisingly accurate (like Sonic Mania), 2.5D and a mess (like Sonic 4) or 2.5D and not quite there but still fun in its own way (like Sonic Generations).
Sonic Superstars bucked the trend by finally giving us a polygonal 2.5D platformer which really does play remarkably similar to the original Mega Drive Sonic games, along with a bunch of new visual flourishes to bring that classic gameplay into the 21st century.
It’s not all great news: the much-flaunted co-op mode is a bit of a disaster, because given how much the series focuses on speed you almost always get one player zooming ahead and everyone else falling off the edge of the screen before they have the chance to catch up.
Play it on your own however, and it’s a brilliant new Sonic game, one that’s so good you’ll happily play through it again with all five characters. Yes, five.
Super Mario Bros WonderThe Super Mario series has always been my favourite, but ever since Super Mario Galaxy back in 2007 every new entry has been a bitter-sweet situation for me because I’ve invariably ended up reviewing them, meaning I’ve had to enjoy them pretty quickly so I can fire out a verdict.
Super Mario Bros Wonder marked the first time in more than a decade and a half that I’ve not reviewed the new Mario game, so I decided to make an occasion out of it and made it my Christmas game, deliberately choosing not to play it until my book was done and I could relax with it.
If it hadn’t been for all the other reviews and its 92 score on Metacritic, I might have thought that the fact I got to play through it patiently and in my own time for once was one of the reasons I was enjoying it more than any 2D Mario game since the 16-bit days. It’s clear that the consensus agrees, though: Super Mario Bros Wonder is an absolute masterpiece.
It also happens to be the first ever game my daughter has properly gotten into, and the sheer fact that each day now inevitably brings up the phrase “daddy, can I play Mario” at some point instantly makes it one of my all-time favourites by default.
Under the WavesFinally, let’s end on a moody note. Under the Waves was one of the first games released under Quantic Dreams’ new Spotlight indie label, and really stuck with me long after the credits rolled.
It has you playing as Stanley, a diver who’s taken on a months-long job working at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean in the hope it’ll help him come to terms with a personal tragedy. Hijinks ensue (or lojinks in this case) and Stanley ends up struggling with both the past and his sanity.
Under the Waves already came with its own built-in tension, given that a lot of it is about experiencing traumatic events in a tiny wee submarine deep underwater, and it was released shortly after something similar didn’t go so well for a group of people in real life. Other than this unfortunate coincidence, though, it certainly does enough to justify its own existence.
Without getting into spoiler territory, though you can probably guess where I’m going with this, it’s a particularly powerful game if you’re a parent, and the final decision which determines which of the two endings you’re going to get is heartbreaking no matter which one you choose. Now that I know what it’s about I don’t think I could ever play through it again, but I’m grateful I did.
Want to watch my videos in full 4K on your 4K TV? Simply subscribe to my channel on YouTube then sign into your YouTube app on your telly.
If you enjoyed this and other articles and want to help me write them more frequently, I’ve now got a PayPal ‘tips’ jar: if you like what you read feel free to chuck yer man Scullion a couple of quid here or there and help stock up my Irn Bru fund so I can continue working away like a bastard.
Alternatively, please do your normal Amazon UK shopping via this link or Amazon US shopping via this link. Tired Old Hack is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.
Here we go again.
After releasing The NES Encyclopedia in 2019, The SNES Encyclopedia in 2020, The Mega Drive & Genesis Encyclopedia in 2021 and The N64 Encyclopedia in 2022, it’s time for the fifth book in my series.
The Dreamcast Encyclopedia is currently due for release in late September, but if it’s anything like the N64 book it might turn up earlier than planned.
As the name suggests, this covers every game ever released for the Dreamcast.
And, as with the N64 Encyclopedia last year, the Dreamcast book also covers every game released in Japan too (which means a hell of a lot of visual novels).
Again, much like last year’s book, the Dreamcast’s library is fairly small compared to those of the NES, SNES and Mega Drive, but that doesn’t mean the book will be shorter as a result.
The book is still more than 270 pages long, and all the smaller library means is that far more games are given a full page, meaning you can read even more about them.
No fewer than 76 games from the console’s western library will get full pages dedicated to them, while the vast majority of the other western titles will get half-pages.
How does that look in practice? Here’s a couple of spreads: one from the western section, and one from the Japanese section:
In total, there are a little more than 610 games in the book, incorporating 272 western releases and 340 Japanese releases.
Sold? Splendid. As with all my previous books, The Dreamcast Encyclopedia will be available at all good book shops (and some rubbish ones too, probably) around the world.
Be it Amazon (all countries), Waterstones, Barnes & Noble, Indigo / Chapters or even Walmart, just search for ‘Chris Scullion’ on your site of choice and with any luck, you’ll find it available to pre-order. It’s already up on Amazon, for example.
If you live in the UK though, and want to support yer man directly, then until the end of June you can buy a signed copy directly from me. Here’s how to do it.
Signed copy pre-ordersI frankly don’t care where you choose to buy the book from: I’m just delighted and hugely grateful that you’re taking an interest in my work at all.
That said, if you’re the type who likes something a bit more personal in return, I’m selling a strictly limited number of Dreamcast Encyclopedia books directly here.
The book is an open pre-order until the end of June, which means you don’t have to worry about me running out.
Essentially, once I see how many people have pre-ordered the book by the end of the month, I’ll round that up to a nice round number (so I’ve got some spare copies) and that’s what I’ll order from the publisher.
If 93 of you order one, for example, it’ll be limited to 100. That way anyone who wants one will definitely get one.
Here are the brutally honest pros and cons of buying directly from me.
PROS• It’ll be personally signed and numbered by yer man Scullion.
• Retailers are a bit of a dice-roll: Amazon was weeks late at delivering my SNES book, but surprisingly quick with the Mega Drive one.
• It’ll be sent through recorded delivery by the Royal Mail and will come with PayPal buyer protection in case anything goes wrong.
• You’ll be supporting me in the best way because I get a far greater royalty for each book sold: £15 for signed books sold through Tired Old Hack, £3 for books sold everywhere else, roughly £1.50 for books sold on Amazon.
CONS• Although I’m only charging the cover price £30 plus postage and packaging (£36 in total), this is still probably the most expensive way to get the book, since I can’t offer a discount on either the cover price or shipping, so almost every other book shop will be cheaper (Amazon in particular). You’re paying full price for the signature, basically.
• If you order directly from the publisher Pen & Sword Books you may get it earlier than anyone else, because they have their stock in too.
Still keen to buy from me? Lovely.
Before I give you the PayPal link to put down your pre-order, please make sure you read the instructions below. It’s all fairly straightforward but if any of the steps are missing it could hold up the process:
SERIOUSLY, PLEASE READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS. EVERY BLOODY YEAR SOMEONE DOESN’T READ THE INSTRUCTIONS AND I HAVE TO PLAY WHERE’S WALLY CHASING THEM UP FOR SOME MISSING INFO. THESE ARE OPEN PRE-ORDERS, IT WILL NOT SELL OUT, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME.• Before you even click anything, please bear in mind I can only deliver to people in the UK for now. I’m going to be dealing with a large number of orders and I’m handling them all myself, so I need to keep things simple with a single price and a single delivery type. Again, sorry for the bold text, but UK ORDERS ONLY PLEASE. I promise you every single time I launch a new book I get a couple of international orders who ignore this and I have to get in touch to refund them.
• Click the link below. You’ll be automatically taken to a PayPal site already set up to pay me the full price. It’ll cost £36 – this covers the full price of the book, packing material and recorded delivery postage through Royal Mail (so I can chase it in the very unlikely event that you don’t get your book).
• Look carefully for a bit that asks you to specify what the payment is for (apparently the PayPal app has changed its UI a bit so you may have to look for this). Click that and leave me a note telling me what name you’d like me to sign the book to. While I’ll be using your real name to post the book, if you’d rather I signed it to your username or nickname, this is where you can let me know. If you don’t want me to sign it to any name, please write “no name” in the notes so I know. If you don’t write anything at all I’ll have to chase you up to find out what you want, and if I can’t get hold of you or you don’t reply I’ll just sign my name and nothing else.
• Make sure the payment is marked as “paying for goods or a service” instead of just sending money to a friend. Not only does this help protect your payment if the delivery goes missing, it actually lets you give me your address. Otherwise, you know, I can’t send you the thing. A few people always miss this part out and it’s a huge hassle for us both so let me make it clearer in bold: This bit is VERY IMPORTANT. If you don’t choose to pay for goods or a service, it won’t let you give me your address. I need your address to send you the book, and if I can’t get hold of you I’ll have to refund your order.
• You should see the option to choose your address. PLEASE make sure you have the correct address there, because that’s where I’m going to be sending the book. There’ll be an option to add a new address if you don’t have one stored on PayPal, or if the one you still have on your PayPal account is out of date. Last time one person accidentally had their old address listed and only managed to get their copy because luckily a family member still lived there. I can’t chase this up for you if it goes to the wrong house, so PLEASE make sure it’s right.
• Job done! Once I get the order in I’ll personally send you an email (to the email your PayPal account is registered to) and confirm that I got the order. I’ll be sending these manually, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t get a confirmation email right away (other than a PayPal one). In case you haven’t noticed, Summer Game Fest week is just about to start and I’ll be covering the hell out of that, so it may be a couple of days before you get your email in some cases.
• I’m happy to draw wee doodles or write specific messages when signing the book, within reason. Please don’t ask for anything really elaborate (I’ll probably be doing well over 100 of these), and if I’m not comfortable with what you ask me to write I’ll politely decline. Speaking from experience here!
Right, with all that said, if you’re up for it, here’s the link:
DREAMCAST ENCYCLOPEDIA SIGNED PRE-ORDERIf you do decide to buy the book, whether you order a signed copy or order from somewhere else, thank you so much for doing so.
I’m so happy that the Encyclopedias are building up a nice wee following now, and I’m really happy with The Dreamcast Encyclopedia because there’s a nice combination of detailed descriptions of western games, followed by a Japanese section in which you see a man descend into madness as he struggles through literally hundreds of dodgy visual novels.
I’ll see you next year for The Game Boy Encyclopedia, but until then I hope you enjoy going back to the Dreamcast era one more time.
Thanks everyone.
Chris
This article is available in both written and video format. The video shows the games in action in full 4K and 60 frames per second while I read the article as a voiceover, so if you watch the video you won’t need to read the written article that follows since it’s the same ‘script’. The video can be viewed here:
The general consensus seems to be that 2022 wasn’t a very good year for video games.
With many of the big titles planned for this past year hit with delays, it’s clear that 2023 is going to have a much larger number of high-profile releases.
That said, I’ve never been a fan of doom and gloom, and there have still been a healthy number of high quality titles released this year, regardless of which systems you own.
Here, then, are yer man Scullion’s 10 favourite games of the year.
As ever, there are a few caveats to bear in mind before we get started.
• It’s in alphabetical order, not best-to-worst. I can’t be arsed deciding whether a game was my 6th or 7th favourite of the year. They’re all great: get them all.
• Before you even think about writing a comment saying this, I didn’t “forget” anything. I haven’t played every game released this year, and this is my personal list. In particular, I missed out on a lot of Triple-A titles this year. So no, I didn’t forget Elden Ring or God of War Ragnarok or Xenoblade Chronicles 3, I just haven’t played them yet.
Before starting with my main list of 10 this year, I want to buck tradition slightly by offering a single honourable mention that didn’t quite make the cut, but I feel deserves to be at least acknowledged.
Martha is Dead has its fair share of problems, be that with performance issues or the fact that some of the content within is blatantly trying its best to offend the player, but that doesn’t mean the game doesn’t still paint a beautiful picture of 1940s Tuscany, and doesn’t still have some story elements that sit in your head for days after the credits roll.
One of the main reasons I’m not choosing to include it in the main list of 10, however, is that its subject matter really is quite nasty and it has four or five scenes that are so tasteless that I know for a fact that a lot of players will be really offended by it. As such, I can’t really give it a blanket recommendation to everyone without it playing on my conscience. What can I say, I’ve become a bit of a soft touch as I approach 40.
Still, if you don’t mind a game that gets quite graphically disturbing at times, Martha is Dead is still worth a look even if it isn’t in my main 10. Speaking of which, let’s start the proper list.
Atari 50I’m always a sucker for a retro compilation no matter how barebones it is, so Atari 50 is undoubtedly one of my games of the year due to the fact that it’s the complete opposite of barebones. Indeed, it’s far and away the most feature heavy retro compilation I’ve ever played.
Not only does it contain over 100 retro Atari games going all the way back to Pong and coming all the way up to the Atari Jaguar, it also contains some modernised reinterpretations of certain games which are a treat to play in this day and age.
Far and away the most impressive feature, however, is the Timelines which provide the framework for the games. These five curated narratives provide hundreds of images and hours of video giving some much added context to the games, even those that have aged the worst.
Atari does a hell of a lot wrong these days, but in teaming up with Digital Eclipse for this retro compilation, this is one of the few modern Atari products that should hopefully show new players exactly why the brand was so important in gaming’s formative years.
Cursed to GolfThis wee indie-produced golf game has been on my radar for a while, so I was delighted to find that the full thing lived up to the expectations I’d built up in my head.
The game is set in a sort of golf purgatory, and the player has to clear a series of holes within a set number of strokes in order to return back to their body.
This would be a bit crap if the controls weren’t impressively tight, and if the levels weren’t fiendishly well designed, but thankfully they are, making each playthrough a finely balanced combination of shouting “fore” and shouting four-letter words.
I’m not a massive fan of the roguelike gameplay loop, in which players have to constantly play randomised games over and over again until they finally inch their way to the end. Cursed to Golf, however, is one of the few exceptions that genuinely did have me coming back for more.
I suppose you could say each ‘slice’ of gameplay had me ‘hooked’. Because, you know, those are golfing terms. Look, shut up.
Disney Dreamlight ValleyIt would be quite dismissive to just say that Disney Dreamlight Valley is “Animal Crossing with Disney characters”, but to be fair, every time I’ve recommended the game to people on Twitter, that’s exactly how I’ve described it.
After all, is there really anything wrong with comparing the game to one of the most popular titles of recent years, especially given that Dreamlight Valley actually surpasses Nintendo’s game in a number of areas?
While Animal Crossing essentially leaves the player to their own free will, Dreamlight Valley allows them to either do the same or take on a healthy selection of quests which bring new Disney characters to the village – there are currently 21 – and increase your friendship with them, which in turn unlocks new costumes, furniture and customisation options.
It should go without saying that if you aren’t a Disney fan the whole thing could be a bit too twee for your liking, but if you know your Maui from your Merlin the amount of fan service here is is sensational, from the extensive soundtrack which contains individual familiar musical motifs for every character in the game, to the fact that each of them has their own series of daily conversation topics packed with references and in-jokes.
So far the monetisation is almost non-existent too, though given that the game is going free-to-play in 2023 this is something that will have to be re-evaluated after that happens. So far, though, this is the game I spent the most hours on in 2022, and the quests have meant it’s remained a part of my daily routine for longer than Animal Crossing: New Horizons did.
MultiVersusCrossovers are one of my favourite things in any media so I was already all in on MultiVersus way back when the leaks first started appearing. Thankfully, the gameplay wasn’t the weak link I was worried it would be, and the result is a surprisingly competent Smash Bros alternative.
In what other game can you see the likes of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and Bugs Bunny taking on Arya Stark from Game of Thrones and Harley Quinn? And each with their regular voice actors, on top of that?
What’s more, since release developer Player First Games has been providing players with a steady stream of new characters, bringing the roster to a total of 23 fighters, up from the 16 available during the game’s early access period.
In the past five months, the game has seen LeBron James, Rick & Morty, Gizmo and Stripe from Gremlins, Black Adam and Marvin the Martian added to the roster, and plenty more are apparently on the way.
It’s not all great news, though, because MultiVersus differs from Dreamlight Valley in that its monetisation system is pretty severe. Although there are no pay-to-win elements, most of the game’s more elaborate (and frankly fun) character skins are expensive stuff, often costing players up to $15 per skin.
For someone like me who likes to to play with a variety of characters, and who prefers to put the work in to unlock things like cosmetic rewards (in the game’s Battle Pass equivalent, for example), these skins are essentially locked off which is really frustrating. There’s no way I’mn paying the same price as a high-profile indie game just to make Superman gold.
The crap monetisation aside, MultiVersus remains a solid Smash Bros alternative, and I’m excited to see which characters arrive in 2023.
Pokémon Legends: ArceusFor years I’ve been waiting for the Pokémon series to finally shake things up a bit and break from the traditional structure we’ve all come to expect from the main games.
Pokémon Legends did exactly that, ditching the usual turn-based combat in favour of a more open-world adventure, where you can quickly catch Pokémon by simply chucking balls at them as you run around. It makes things feel a lot quicker when there’s none of the usual stop-start stuff.
In fact, it felt like so much of Legends was built around finally breaking bad habits that fans of the series were getting tired of, meaning the entire game felt like a huge refresh for what had become a pretty formulaic experience.
The fact that its title is Pokémon Legends: Arceus suggests there may be more games in the Pokémon Legends series in the future. If that’s the case I’m fully on board, because I’d love to play more of the same in different settings or time periods.
SomervilleFirst things first: if you’re the sort of player who likes your stories to be neatly wrapped up by the end of the game, you’ll want to give Somerville a miss entirely. For those who don’t mind a bit of mystery, though, this is a wonderful indie title.
Without wanting to give too much away, the game revolves around an alien invasion and a father trying to deal with the consequences that arise as a result of it.
Somerville may have some slightly annoying physics-based puzzles, but these are few and far between, and once you deal with them you’re left with a tight, 4-5 hour adventure that looks stunning, sounds incredible and really sucks you into its world.
It feels a lot like a modern version of Another World (or Out of This World, if you’re American), which is definitely no bad thing. As long as you don’t mind a plot that just goes wild in the final act and stops making any sort of sense, it’s well worth dedicating some time to it, especially because it’s on Game Pass and you can play through it all in one evening.
Sonic FrontiersEasily the most divisive game on my list this year, there will be just as many people who have Sonic Frontiers in their list of the 10 worst games of the year as there will be people claiming it as one of their favourites.
For me, it’s a similar situation to Pokémon Legends, in that this was the shakeup the Sonic series needed, relegating its usual linear stages to a supporting role and focusing more on open-world exploration.
As a first attempt at this new style, it has plenty of annoying issues (not least of all the camera), but once everything clicks in place, it’s possible to put together some really satisfying moments as each open-world area eventually becomes one massive interlinked grind rail.
It certainly has its sloppy moments – like anything Sonic Team does in this day and age – but at the end of the day, this isn’t a list of the 10 most technically accomplished games of the year. It’s simply the 10 games I had most fun with, and in that respect my 20 hours with Sonic Frontiers has to be included.
StrayI’ll level with you: I’m really not a cat person. I’m not a dog person either, for that matter, I’m just not really much of an animal lover in general. So it speaks volumes that Stray ended up with me actually giving a shit about my cat protagonist: I can only imagine how it affects people who do like cats in real life.
It helps that this cat has been placed in a futuristic world that’s beautifully detailed – especially when it comes to its bright neon-lit city section – and is accompanied by a wonderful soundtrack that’s become a personal Spotify favourite.
The game’s simplistic jumping system, where you just press the X button to automatically leap to the nearest ledge, may take a lot of the danger out of the game in that it’s practically impossible to jump to your death, but Stray isn’t supposed to be a massive challenge, it’s supposed to be an experience.
That sounded really pretentious, so let’s talk about turtles or something.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge & The Cowabunga CollectionTurtles games are like buses: you wait for ages for one and then two turn up at the same time. Plus one of the buses only takes you to old stops you used to go to in the ‘90s… or something. Look, I obviously didn’t think this analogy through.
The point is we got two great Turtles games this year, starting with Shredder’s Revenge. Developed by Tribute Games, whose staff included Ubisoft veterans who worked on the Scott Pilgrim game, it’s a similarly retro-themed beat ‘em up and it’s glorious.
It’s similar to Streets of Rage 4, in that it appeals to fans of its 16-bit beat ‘em up predecessors, but also adds enough new mechanics (like mid-air juggles and combos) to make sure modern players love it too.
For those who remembered those classic games, The Cowabunga Collection followed two months later.
Not only did Digital Eclipse knock it out of the park with Atari 50, it also gave us this fantastic compilation covering the original arcade TMNT game, its sequel Turtles in Time and every Turtles game released on the NES, SNES, Mega Drive and Game Boy.
Having 13 retro TMNT games on there is impressive enough on its own, but in true Digital Eclipse style there’s also a huge museum section with over 3700 images including manual scans, comic covers and design documents.
If you’ve got even the slightest interest in TMNT, both these games are well worth a look. Shredder’s Revenge is also currently on Game Pass, so if you’re an Xbox player it’s a no-brainer.
WWE 2K22In recent years the WWE games have been more Gillberg than Goldberg, culminating in the disaster that was WWE 2K20. 2K and Visual Concepts wisely decided to take a year off to rethink things, and the result may be the best wrestling game since the N64 era.
The combat system has been completely revamped – ditching the limited reversal bollocks of the last couple of games and making things more skill-based again – and the annoying stamina meter has been almost entirely ditched.
The character models have been hugely improved, so they actually look more like their real-life counterparts rather than unlicensed wrestlers modded into the game by a fan.
And the fun MyRise story mode has enough alternate plot routes to justify multiple playthroughs, keeping you busy for a while.
Rumour has it that WWE 2K23 is set to be revealed during the Royal Rumble in January. Now that the series is back on track, I now find myself properly excited for the next WWE game for the first time in ages.
Want to watch my videos in full 4K on your 4K TV? Simply subscribe to my channel on YouTube then sign into your YouTube app on your telly.
If you enjoyed this and other articles and want to help me write them more frequently, I’ve now got a PayPal ‘tips’ jar: if you like what you read feel free to chuck yer man Scullion a couple of quid here or there and help stock up my Irn Bru fund so I can continue working away like a bastard.
Alternatively, please do your normal Amazon UK shopping via this link or Amazon US shopping via this link. Tired Old Hack is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.
You may have noticed that Twitter is basically Mad Max at this point, and that Elon Musk – who in this situation is the equivalent of that really old evil guy – keeps pulling rules out of his arse like he was Mick Foley with thumbtacks.
While I don’t quite expect Twitter to just suddenly go under any time soon, I also didn’t expect the one-time richest man in the world to call a cave expert a “pedo guy”, liken the Canadian prime minister to Hitler, tweet “pronouns suck”, ban journalists who reported on a story about a separate Twitter account tracking him, run a car company that was ordered to pay $137 million to a Black employee after he was repeatedly subjected to racial abuse without disciplinary measures being taken, give one of his children some sort of weird equation instead of a name, or decide that linking to other social media on Twitter would get you suspended.
So, you know, just in case.
On the off-chance that Twitter does implode, then – and since posting my Linktree is apparently now a bannable offence – here’s all the other places you can find me, if you decide that you aren’t quite sick of my bullshit yet.
Twitter – Still there for now, and the place you’ll find me most regularly until it does a Fight Club and collapses while the Pixies’ Where is My Mind plays in the background.
Substack – My new email newsletter. I was planning to start this in 2023 anyway, but the rumours of Twitter’s closure forced my hand a bit early, so while it’s quiet at the moment there will be regular newsletters in your inbox starting next year.
Tired Old Hack – I mean, not to be rude, but if you can’t find Tired Old Hack from here then you probably also can’t find your own arse.
Twitch – Now that I’ve finished writing my Dreamcast Encyclopedia, I’m going to be streaming fairly regularly going forwards, so follow me on there for notifcations any time I go live.
YouTube – As an accompaniment to Tired Old Hack, you can find a bunch of my game-related videos here already and there are a lot more to come starting next year.
Instagram – I don’t use this a lot but I’ll use it much more if Twitter ever pegs it, so follow me now for the occasional photo of retro hardware.
Discord – Did you know there’s a Tired Old Hack Discord server? Don’t say ‘no’, because I literally just told you there’s one, so if you say ‘no’ now you’re a liar, even it’s only been a couple of seconds.
TikTok – I’m about 20 years too old for this shit, but if Twitter goes under you’d better believe I’ll be giving it a go anyway. My days of worrying about my image are long gone.
That Was a Bit Mental – Not everyone is interested in reading my reviews of horror and B-movies, and that’s perfectly fine. If you are, though, this is coming back in 2023 so fill your boots.
Cohost – This is currently not being used, but is simply there as a backup. If and when Twitter does go under, this will probably be the social media site I jump over to instead.
Buy my books! – Finally, this isn’t technically any sort of social media or anything but if you think I’m going to pass up an opportunity to pimp my books again, you’re out of your mind.
What goes into making one of yer man's Encyclopedias? Here's a needlessly detailed article explaining the entire process.Continue reading
Yer man talks you through every game in Konami's upcoming greenthology.Continue reading
Yer man Scullion's latest book is a love letter to all things platforming, and you can order a signed copy now!Continue reading
In this special bumper two-hour bastard of a podcast, I’m finally joined again by the brilliant Kate Gray, who returns due to popular demand. EngageContinue reading
Call of Duty? Guitar Hero? Pah! Here's how to talk about the Xbox-Activision acquisition and sound like an absolute hole at the same timeContinue reading
It's back! Chris is joined by Louise to mark the return of regular Tired Old Hack podcasts, but unfortunately the big discussion topics are NFTs and console wars so... yeah.Continue reading
Here's your rundown of the games yer man's enjoyed playing the most during what's been an extremely busy year.Continue reading
Yer man's third book is available now, covering every Mega Drive, Mega CD and 32X game released in the west.Continue reading
You may have noticed there haven't been any updates on the site for a while. Here's why, and when everything will be back to normal again.Continue reading
The podcast is back with a bang as yer man Scullion talks to Dominik Diamond, the legendary host of GamesMaster, about the upcoming book GamesMaster: An Oral History.Continue reading
Hugely popular influencer Ninja says his job isn't to influence children, at least when it comes to teaching them about discrimination. Is he right?Continue reading
Yes, yes, I know: 2020, what a year, blah blah. But how about them games? Here's yer man Scullion's 10 favourites, in both written and 4K60 video form.Continue reading
The next generation of gaming is here, so here's yer man Scullion's first ever next-gen review, complete with a 4K 60fps video version.Continue reading
Think you know the story of the Super Mario games? Here's the REAL story, the bits you DIDN'T hear.Continue reading
In this special episode, yer man Scullion has an hour-long interview with Intellivision president Tommy Tallarico to discuss his upcoming Amico console and why you should be keeping an eye on it.Continue reading
It's here! Yer man's second book is out in late September, and you can pre-order it right here.Continue reading
Yer man Scullion has been stress-testing Numskull's PlayStation hoodie and steel mug. Check out what I think for your chance to win a PlayStation t-shirt.Continue reading
Originally released on Apple Arcade last year, this hop 'em up is now on Switch. Find out what yer man Scullion thinks.Continue reading
Avicii Invector was one of my games of 2019. Now it's coming to Switch, but how's it looking so far? Yer man Scullion tells all.Continue reading
Konami stealth launched a new Metroidvania game this week. Yer man Scullion checks out the first 30 minutes in this video.Continue reading
Looking for something to keep you busy during lockdown? Why not play Mario's first RPG adventure with a bunch of like-minded gamers?Continue reading
The first Xbox Series X 'gameplay' has been revealed, so yer man Scullion breaks down all 13 games shown during the latest Inside Xbox presentation.Continue reading
Yer man treats Streets of Rage like gaming royalty, so is this sequel Princess Diana or Prince Andrew? Find out in this massive written and video review.Continue reading
Known as the TurboGrafx-16 Mini in North America, is Konami's foray into the mini console market one that's worth bothering with? Yer man Scullion reveals all.Continue reading
As yer man Scullion recovers from an undefined illness, there's time for a short podcast to start bringing things back up to speed.Continue reading
It's been a busy two weeks, so find out what's been going on, complete with added snark.Continue reading
Staying at home for some undetermined reason? Looking for stuff to watch to pass the time? Fill yer boots.Continue reading
Looking for something to help you pass the time during coronavirus fever? Enjoy my horror movie review ebooks and read about a load of other viruses instead.Continue reading
Your handy roundup of the past two weeks of gaming news, with a healthy helping of snark for good measure.Continue reading
It's one of the most notorious karting games ever, but is it really as bad as it looks? Find out.Continue reading
The C64 Mini was a bit of a disappointment, so does this full-sized follow-up fix its problems? Yer man Scullion finds out.Continue reading
Check out very the best of yer man Scullion's work from the Official Nintendo Magazine (RIP).Continue reading
Capcom's £200 beast certainly looks the part, but is it worth the money? Yer man Scullion goes deep.Continue reading
It's back! After a six-month downtime writing the SNES Encyclopedia, yer man Scullion is on the airwaves again. Or whatever the podcast equivalent is.Continue reading
2019 is DEAD. Remember it fondly with yer man Scullion's 10 favourite games of the year.Continue reading
Join your fellow gamers and play through the first two SNES entries in Capcom's cult RPG series.Continue reading
Which Pokemon will be in Sword & Shield? It's not clear yet, but here are yer man Scullion's picks to be axed.Continue reading
The remake of Link's handheld debut is finally here, but does it do the original justice? Yer man Scullion reveals all.Continue reading
Could this PS2 volleyball be a hidden gem? Yer man Scullion finds out in this video.Continue reading
In the return of Hack Of All Trades, yer man Scullion tries out PC Building Simulator on Xbox One and struggles to even turn one of the systems on.Continue reading
The future of cutting edge technology is here. Find out how well Sonic does when it comes to tearing up a tidy slice of 'za.Continue reading
Has yer man Scullion beaten the new Fire Emblem on Switch yet? Has he fuck. Here's what I think so far though.Continue reading
Get together with fellow gamers and make your way through Sega's first RPG masterpiece.Continue reading
From Fred Durst to Phil Collins, yer man Scullion looks at some of the stranger musical cameos in gaming.Continue reading
Yer man Scullion played the likes of Pokemon Sword & Shield, Luigi's Mansion 3, Link's Awakening and Mario & Sonic 2020. Find out what I thought and see 45 minutes of exclusive gameplay footage.Continue reading
The sequel to Nintendo's Wii U gem is out but what if you aren't interested in its building mode? Find out if it's still worth getting.Continue reading
In this bumper E3 special, yer man Scullion breaks down every conference and decides who he thinks 'won' this year's E3.Continue reading
This retro handheld is currently a mere £15, but does that mean cheap and cheerful or cheap and nasty? Yer man Scullion finds out.Continue reading
An hour-long special breaking down the planning and writing process behind the NES Encyclopedia.Continue reading
Sonic's latest racer is out now, but where does it fit in yer man Scullion's ever-growing karting leaderboard? Time to buckle up yet again.Continue reading
It's time to play through another game with your fellow Tired Old Hack readers! This month, get stuck into what's arguably Satoru Iwata's finest work.Continue reading
Sonic's Saturn racer is a karting game without karts. Yer man Scullion checks to see if he can still feel the sunshine 22 years later.Continue reading
An octet of games (that's eight, if you're wondering) comes under yer man Scullion's microscope.Continue reading
Watch the entire 97-minute DVD given away free with the July 2006 issue of ONM, complete with commentary and anecdotes from yer man Scullion, who was staff writer at the time.Continue reading
Reader feedback is great, but sometimes that feedback makes us want to scream into someone's face. Here are some of the most common (and annoying) offenders.Continue reading
It's finally time: my book is here! Find out everything you need to know about it, and where you can get it.Continue reading
After the CD-I gave us a gem last episode, could it possibly do it again? This fairground shooter would like to think so.Continue reading
It's time for the second Game Club! This time we're playing Nintendo's western-only RPG, StarTropics.Continue reading
Google has announced its Stadia game streaming platform, but will it do what it promises? Yer man Scullion gives his initial views.Continue reading
Is this 1992 CD-I tennis game as shite as it looks? Yer man Scullion finds out.Continue reading
The funkiest aliens in the entire galaxy are finally back: but should they have stayed in the past? Yer man Scullion cautiously says hello again to two of his childhood favourites.Continue reading
Louise is back on the podcast! She and Chris discuss the upcoming departure of Reggie Fils-Aime, and whether those rumours of a Microsoft and Nintendo love-in are legit.Continue reading
This little dongle lets you play GameCube games on modern TVs through an HDMI cable, but is it worth the asking price? Here's yer man Scullion's verdict, plus a whole load of footage.Continue reading
Welcome to the launch of Game Club, a new community for gamers to play through retro games together. First up is the black sheep in the Zelda family, but one that's massively rewarding if you stick with it.Continue reading
The Tired Old Hack Podcast is back! Yer man Scullion breaks down the latest Nintendo Direct, including that surprise Link's Awakening remake.Continue reading
Seven more games come under yer man Scullion's microscope, including one obscenely addictive one.Continue reading
What's going to happen in the upcoming Super Mario movie by Despicable Me studio Illumination? Yer man Scullion has a few ideas.Continue reading
Capcom brings one of the greatest survival horror games into 2019, but does it lose any magic in the process? Yer man Scullion finds out whether it's itchy or tasty.Continue reading
Is Suda51's latest a worthy spin-off of the No More Heroes series? Yer man Scullion charges up his beam katana and kicks the fourth wall down.Continue reading
Yer man Scullion's new retro-focused series kicks off with a look at one of the GameCube's most bizarre cameos.Continue reading
The latest Wii U remaster is here, but is it one step too far for the New Super Mario Bros series? Yer man Scullion tells all.Continue reading
Read the true story of Imagine Software's ill-fated ZX Spectrum game and the financial collapse it caused.Continue reading
Happy new year! Here's yer man Scullion's favourite games of last year, as per the tradition ruthlessly forced on us all.Continue reading
Could this 23-year-old Sega Saturn pinball game possibly be a hidden gem? Yer man Scullion goes full tilt to find out.Continue reading
The much-loved Wii U game is getting a Switch port in January, but how it's looking? Yer man Scullion has started playing it: here's a look at the early stages.Continue reading
Everyone knows Smash Bros is a perfect multiplayer game, but how well does the latest entry keep solo players entertained? Yer man Scullion heads out on his lonesome to find out.Continue reading
The No More Heroes creator talks about Travis Touchdown's return on Switch, and also picks his five favourite albums. Because why not.Continue reading
This recently released pocket-sized beauty looks just like an old Atari console and promises 50 games, but how does it stack up against the competition?Continue reading
In this epic hour-long video, yer man Scullion breaks down all 51 games on the Switch version of Sega Mega Drive Classics (or Sega Genesis Classics if you're America-inclined).Continue reading
The site is going to be shifting its focus soon. Yer man Scullion explains the reasons behind it, and why it's a good thing.Continue reading
It may not be the big Generation VIII game the hardcore fans are waiting for, but do these Pokémon Yellow remakes get the job done regardless? Yer man Scullion has a gander.Continue reading
It's the first in my regular series of roundups of wee-views: wee reviews of games I haven't completed but am confident I've played enough to give my opinion.Continue reading
Is this futuristic WipEout knock-off on Saturn a techno treasure, or a hovering horror?Continue reading
One of the most eagerly anticipated games of the generation is finally here. Does it live up to the hype, or is it a bum steer? Yer man Scullion reveals all.Continue reading
Fox is back! But is Ubisoft's space adventure more Episode I or Episode IV? Yer man Scullion rinses it.Continue reading
2K's long-running basketball series celebrates its 20th edition, but does its new story mode make up for last year's dismal affair?Continue reading
Seven scrappers have been given the compilation treatment, but do they stand the test of time? Yer man Scullion pulls on his fingerless gloves to find out.Continue reading
While recovering from a hedge-trimming accident, Chris gives his views on the Switch 2.0 rumours, the Telltale closure and which dormant Nintendo series he'd like to see on Switch.Continue reading
It's time for another licensed karting game breakdown as yer man Scullion looks at Rare's other N64 racer.Continue reading
Six more games go under yer man Scullion's microscope. Then I take them out from under the microscope, play them and tell you what I think.Continue reading
I've spent the last year working on the biggest and best thing I've ever done in my career. It's finally time to show you it.Continue reading
Nintendo's back with its cardboard creation cornucopia, but this time it's also packing a free-roaming adventure mode. Yer man Scullion kicks its tyres.Continue reading
2K Sports are saying microtransactions are "unfortunate", while Sony's trying to defend its crossplay-blocking shenanigans. Time for yer man Scullion to stick his oar in. Also: the best games to play when you have a newborn.Continue reading
Sometimes an idea seems like it's going to be brilliant, but ultimately doesn't work out. Here are ten of the hardest pills yer man Scullion has had to swallow over the years.Continue reading
Another batch of games fall under yer man Scullion's microscope. Then I take them out of the microscope, play them and review them.Continue reading
Can everyone's favourite lazy bastard of a cat overtake Hello Kitty in the Tired Old Hack karting game leaderboard? Time to find out.Continue reading
Chris addresses the recent story of the IGN plagiariser, and gives his thoughts on his own work being stolen by him. Before that, there's a breakdown of the Smash Bros Direct.Continue reading
Yer man Scullion's Kartography series kicks off with a Wii U racer that eventually made its way to Switch. But where will it place on the leaderboard?Continue reading
Introducing my new series of articles taking a look at karting games, and trying to find out which ones aren't complete guff.Continue reading
A forgotten Wii gem gets a second lease of life, but is it as enjoyable as it used to be? Yer man Scullion travels back to the ONM days to re-review an old favourite.Continue reading
Louise and I had our first daughter three weeks ago, so that’s why there’s been a relative lack of updates on the site. That doesn’t mean I haven’t managed to squeeze in some gaming though, so here’s my takes on what I’ve been playing.
In this round-up yer man Scullion:
• Jumps back in for a second helping of retro goodness in Sonic Mania Plus• Decides whether Lumines Remastered is back with another one of those block-dropping feats
• Enjoys some 8-bit scrapping in Pocket Rumble
• Embraces his inner Japanese schoolgirl in Sanrio Characters Picross
• Discovers that Agony is appropriately named
Sonic Mania Plus
Sega / Christian Whitehead
Xbox One, Switch, PS4, PC (Xbox One version reviewed)
I’ve already reviewed the Switch version of Sonic Mania, so if you want a full recap of everything the main game offers have a gander here.
While Mania was a digital-only release Plus is a physical one, meaning you can finally own it on disc or cartridge should you so desire.
The main reason for the ‘Plus’ moniker here though is Encore, a newly released DLC pack included with this physical version (it’s also available separately for £3.99 / $4.99 if you already have the standard Mania).
The main meat of this DLC is the titular Encore mode, which is essentially a remixed version of Sonic Mania. All the stages have new colour palettes while enemies, spikes and giant rings have been moved around to make things interesting.
Meanwhile, the utterly shite Blue Sphere bonus games – which debuted in Sonic 3 and returned for Mania – have thankfully been replaced by a pinball game instead.
Most notable of all, though, is the addition of two new (well, old) playable characters. Mighty the Armadillo plays pretty much like Sonic does, except he has a downward attack (a bit like a Mario ground pound) which can be used to break newly added floor blocks.
Meanwhile, Ray the Flying Squirrel has an air glide move, which lets him fly around. It’s a different type of flying to Tails (who eventually gets tired) and Knuckles (which is more like gliding): instead it controls a bit like flying with the cape does in Super Mario World, albeit with more momentum, letting you stay in the air for longer.
In all, it’s a nifty wee addition to what’s already a fantastic Sonic game. If you already have the base version of Mania then £3.99 for a couple of new characters and a remixed main mode is worth it in my eyes. Meanwhile, if you don’t own Sonic Mania yet, there’s no better time to remedy that.
Lumines Remastered
Enhance Games / Resonair
Switch, Xbox One, PS4, PC (Switch version reviewed)
For the longest time, I gave precisely zero shits about Lumines. While everyone gushed over the original PSP release, I didn’t really see the appeal.
It wasn’t until the Vita launched and I decided to take a punt on Lumines: Electronic Symphony – the ninth(!) version of the game – that it finally clicked with me and I realised what the big deal was.
For those not aware of it, it’s a fairly simplistic puzzle game where the aim is to drop coloured blocks to make squares of the same colour. These squares are then removed by a bar that moves along the top of the screen to the beat of the music.
Once you get used to the various tricks and methods used to make squares quicker and build combos, the whole thing eventually builds into a glorious zen-like experience where the music and gameplay merge together into one single body. At the risk of sounding like a hippy.
At least I didn’t go as far as the developers, who’ve added a ‘trance’ mode. A bit like the original release of Rez, which had an extremely dodgy ‘trance vibrator’ peripheral you could attach to any part of your body to ~~have an orgasm~~ feel the beat of the music, the Switch version of Lumines Remastered lets you sync up a bunch of Joy-Cons and makes them all vibrate along with the game’s rhythm, leaving you free to attach or, ahem, insert them wherever you like.
As the name suggests, Lumines Remastered is an HD remake of the PSP original, with all the original tracks and such. It’s shame there isn’t more to it than that – it would’ve at least been nice to have the ‘skins’ (stages) from its PSP sequel Lumines II as well – but given that it’s less than half the price it originally was on Sony’s handheld you’re still getting your money’s worth.
Speaking of which, if you live in the UK you should buy it from the US eShop instead (using my handy guide if you don’t know how). It’s £13.49 in the UK but $14.99 in the US, which works out to around £11.40 instead.
Pocket Rumble
Chucklefish / Cardboard Robot Games
Switch, PC (Switch version reviewed)
With Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection already on the Switch along with countless Neo Geo arcade gems, it could be argued that fans of the fighting genre are already more than catered for on Nintendo’s system.
Pocket Rumble, however, is a lovely little debutant, one that sets itself the unenviable task of appealing to both newcomers and pros: and just about manages it.
With an interesting graphical style based on the Neo Geo Pocket Color – an underrated retro handheld that doesn’t often get many homages – Pocket Rumble is a simple fighting game with eight characters and two attack buttons.
Special moves are also easy to pull off. There are no quarter-circles, half-circles or Dragon Punch motions here: for the most part each involves simply pressing diagonally down-left or down-right along with one of the attack buttons.
This makes it simple for beginners to get used to the game and get stuck into the action fairly quickly. However, put more time into it – via its useful character-specific tutorial mode – and you’ll learn that each fighter’s special moves make for some extremely interesting strategic opportunities.
For example, one character –a suit-wearing chap called Parker – can drop an electrical orb that stays on the screen. At any point you can then trigger a lightning bolt to fire between the orb and yourself, meaning if your opponent is caught in the middle it’ll do them damage.
The result, then, is a game that’s immediately accessible – even if the AI can be a little tricky for newcomers – but has a surprising amount of depth for a game with such a relatively small moveset.
Sanrio Characters Picross
Jupiter Corporation
Nintendo 3DS
The 3DS eShop may have fewer visitors than Rose West these days but the fantastic Picross e series continues to roll along with undying dedication.
There have been no fewer than 11 Picross games on the 3DS to date – Picross e to e8, Picross 3D Round 2, Zelda Twilight Princess Picross and Pokemon Picross – and now we have the 12th instalment, an officially licensed one based on Sanrio.
Naturally, this means Hello Kitty puzzles a plenty, but also ones covering a bunch of other Sanrio characters, from My Melody and Keroppi to, um Kirimi-chan, who it would appear is a piece of sushi-ready salmon with a pair of legs.
There are 150 Picross puzzles in total, and another 150 more difficult Mega Picross puzzles. Disappointingly, however, these produce the same pictures as the standard ones: they’re just the same puzzles with more difficult numerical clues.
Also included are three Micross puzzles: these are larger 80×80 grids split into a bunch of smaller 10×10 grids to make up an enormous picture.
The only other addition is the ability to unlock stickers of each character: these can then be used to decorate the game’s backgrounds, which will be fun for really young kids but is otherwise a bit throwaway.
It’s a fairly run-of-the-mill Picross e game with Sanrio characters, then, but as a big fan of Picross I’m of the opinion that this is in no way a bad thing, and I happily cleared all 150 puzzles and the Micross puzzles with no complaints. It’s still better than the feature-light Picross S on Switch, too.
Agony
Koch Media / MadMind Studio
Xbox One, PS4, PC (Xbox One version reviewed)
When you give your game a name that conjures up ideas of intense suffering, you’d better make sure it’s enjoyable otherwise the reviews will inevitably write themselves. In this regard, Agony dies on its arse.
It’s a ‘survival horror’ FPS set in Hell, in which you play as a tormented soul who’s trying to find out about his past.
Along the way you can take over other people and control demons, but this is all beside the point when everything is such an absolute chore.
Levels are large with repetitive environmental designs and are easy to get lost in as a result. The occasional ‘stealth’ sections are as frustrating as the backlash I’ll get for that Rose West joke, with horrible enemy AI catching you out often through no fault of your own.
It also tries so achingly hard to be controversial: there are cocks all over the place, it’s gorier than a slaughterhouse’s cloud-stored CCTV archives and the enemies are so obviously vagina-themed you start to wonder if an anthropomorphic fanny once stole the character designer’s car.
Worst of all, though, is that the game’s got more bugs than an Animal Crossing addict’s museum. It’s constantly glitching, repeating dialogue and throwing up all manner of other problems. Even in the First Play video I recorded above, you can see that I got physically stuck in a wall just 45 minutes in.
Agony is a surprisingly realistic game, because playing it must truly be what Hell is like.
Review code for Sonic Mania Plus, Pocket Rumble and Agony provided by PRs. Lumines Remastered and Sanrio Characters Picross were bought myself.
If you enjoyed this and want to help me write more reviews on a regular basis while continuing to make the site ad-free, please consider donating to my Patreon account.
Don’t want to commit to a regular payment? I’ve now got a PayPal ‘tips’ jar: if you liked this article in particular feel free to chuck yer man Scullion a couple of quid and help stock up my Irn Bru fund so I can continue working away like a bastard.
Alternatively, if you’re a UK reader and can’t afford to support me on Patreon, please do your normal Amazon UK shopping via this link. Tired Old Hack is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.
Thanks so much for reading this. If you found it useful, please do share it with your friends. The more people who read it, the more the site can grow and the more I can write.
Nintendo / Nintendo EPD Tokyo
Switch, 3DS, Wii U (Switch version reviewed)
Visit Nintendo Life for my review of the 3DS version!
By this point, the intros for reviews of Switch games like Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker write themselves.
“Despite the Wii U’s poor sales,” they begin, “it continues to offer a fruitful source of material for new Switch releases.”
They then list a load of other Switch games that are ports of Wii U titles, along with links so you can read those reviews too and get the site more hits.
You know: Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition, Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, Bayonetta 1 & 2, Pokken Tournament DX… that sort of thing.
Captain Toad is the latest in this now tried and tested process, and it’s proof that if it still isn’t broken there should be no attempts made to fix it just yet.
For those who missed out on it back in 2014, Captain Toad is a puzzle platformer based on the fun Adventures of Captain Toad bonus stages in Super Mario 3D World (another game that could do with a Switch re-release, incidentally).
Over the course of around 80 stages – 79, if you want to get picky – the aim is to guide Captain Toad (or sometimes Toadette) around, collecting diamonds and coins before finding and grabbing the star at the end.
This is one of those games where the difficulty depends on how fully and comprehensively you want to complete each stage. Simply collecting the star at the end is enough to consider the level ‘beaten’ so you can move on to the next, but getting the three hidden diamonds is a little trickier.
Each stage also has a unique optional challenge to make things a little more interesting: this could involve something general like finding a secret gold mushroom or killing all the enemies on a stage, or could be more stage-specific tasks like beating a level without triggering its collapsing bridge, or doing it by interacting with the scenery a limited number of times.
Speaking of which (that’s a segue and a half), Captain Toad lets you physically manipulate enemies and certain parts of the stage. Wheels can be turned, platforms can be moved, Piranha Plants can be forced to recoil back, Thwomps can be stunned in place and so forth.
The Wii U version of the game handled this with the touch screen on the GamePad, and when playing the Switch version in handheld mode it’s pretty much the same process: simply tap the screen where you want to interact with it. It works as well as you’d hope, and the world is all the better for it.
It’s when you’re playing docked that things start to feel a little less intuitive. Because you can’t exactly be smearing your Nando’s-soaked fingers on your 52” telly, the game instead makes use of motion controls, with either your Joy-Con or Pro Controller’s accelerometer used to control a pointer on the screen.
It’s a decent enough solution to the problem, but certainly nowhere near as straightforward as just tapping the screen, and as such you may have a few situations where quick tapping is needed and playing docked is a little more difficult as a result.
The only other major change here is the addition of four new stages based on Super Mario Odyssey. These can be unlocked through normal gameplay or you can get them right away if you scan one of the wedding amiibo released for Odyssey.
They consist of two standard stages set in the Sand Kingdom and Metro Kingdom, as well as a mine cart ride set in the Cascade Kingdom and a boss fight set in the Luncheon Kingdom.
They’re a nice little touch and should keep you entertained for a good half-hour, but bear in mind that they replace the four Super Mario 3D World themed levels that were in the Wii U version, so if you own that and were thinking of trading it in for whatever reason you might want to make sure you’ve had your fill with those stages first because they aren’t in here.
And that’s it, really. If you’re one of the roughly 1.4 million people who bought Captain Toad on the Wii U you may want to have a long think about whether to make the switch to Switch: since it has fewer additions than most of the other Wii U ports – a few new stages and a native resolution of 1080p instead of 720p are about it – it’s practically a case of buying the same game again.
No, this Switch version is clearly aimed at those who missed out on Captain Toad the first time around. If that’s you, then there’s no better time to fill your boots: even four years later it remains an absolutely charming adventure and one that’s still a treat to play.
In particular, it’s a real joy in handheld mode, with the Switch touch screen complementing it well and its short stages proving perfect for little 5-minute bursts in bed.
Get your mind out of the gutter, you know what I meant.
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker is out on Switch and 3DS on 13 July for £34.99 / $39.99. You can also buy the physical version for £34.99 (at the time of writing) from Amazon UK.
In order that I could write this review, I received a free copy of the game from Nintendo. The content of my review and the opinions therein were in no way positively influenced by this.
If you enjoyed this and other reviews and want to help me write them more frequently, please consider donating to my Patreon account.
Don’t want to commit to a regular payment? I’ve now got a PayPal ‘tips’ jar: if you like what you read feel free to chuck yer man Scullion a couple of quid here or there and help stock up my Irn Bru fund so I can continue working away like a bastard.
Alternatively, if you’re a UK reader and can’t afford to support me on Patreon, please do your normal Amazon UK shopping via this link. Tired Old Hack is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.
Check out my review of the 3DS version over at Nintendo Life.
Nintendo / Camelot Software Planning
Nintendo Switch
Mario Tennis and I have been on bad terms for the past couple of years.
It’s a series I’ve loved ever since the Nintendo 64 and Game Boy Color days, but in recent years it’s been up and down more times than an eager ballboy.
In 2009 the brilliant GameCube game Mario Power Tennis was re-released on Wii, its once-tight controls replaced with frustratingly inaccurate Wii Remote swings.
Then, a few years later, the series was redeemed with Mario Tennis Open, a brilliant 3DS offering with great online multiplayer and a host of unlockable characters and costumes.
This return to form was then unceremoniously dumped with Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash on the Wii U, a game I described in my video review at the time as “a monumental cauldron of shite” due to its complete lack of anything other than a bare-bones online mode and exhibition games (not even a tournament mode).
Mario Tennis Aces is here to right that wrong, and it succeeds… mostly.
Each Mario Tennis game tweaks its game mechanics to various degrees, and Aces does it more than most, starting with its power shot system.
Now, I’m about to get technical here, so if it gets too much for you just smile and nod politely until we get onto talking about the game modes.
Recent entries have used a colour-based system, in which different coloured stars would appear on the court and pressing the corresponding button would result in powerful shots that stunned your opponent.
While this was fun enough, it did make some rallies feel more like QTE-fests in which your focus was more on pressing the right button than freely using the variety of shots available to you.
Aces ditches the colours altogether and replaces them with a simple power star instead. When your opponent hits the ball, more often than not a star will appear on your side of the court, marking where to stand for an optimal return. Stand on this star and your shot will be more powerful than usual.
You can also perform special sideways moves to reach shots you think you’re going to miss There’s also a new energy bar system which more or less affects the game’s other unique features. Any time you return the ball your energy will build slightly, though you can build it quicker by either standing on the aforementioned stars, or getting in position early and charging your stroke in advance.
When your energy bar is roughly ⅓ full it’ll turn yellow and all the good stuff kicks in. Press the R button when standing on a star and you’ll leap into the air and perform a power shot, which is aimed in a first-person viewpoint (either with the gyro controls or the left stick).
This shot is extremely fast, and if your opponent is lucky enough to reach it there’s a good chance it could damage their racket. Do enough damage and the racket will break: break their entire stock and you’ll win by ‘KO’ (so that’s why everyone on Twitter suddenly decided it was like a fighting game when the demo was out).
The general path to success, then, is to try to build your energy as quickly as possible and unleash these power shots to force your opponent to either miss the ball or break their racket trying. But, as if to further continue the tenuous fighting game link, there are ways to counter this.
If an opponent hits a power shot at you, there’s no need to phone your solicitor and check your will is up to date. If you’ve got enough energy in your meter, you can hold R to slow down time. This lets you see which direction the ball is going and run quickly over there to reach it.
As for preventing racket damage, there’s a ‘block’ move which kicks in if you press a button right as the ball hits you and lets you return the ball unscathed. The timing needs to be pretty perfect, but this is going to be the difference between experts and beginners online: if you can slow-mo over to a power shot and hit a perfect block, opponents will really struggle to beat you.
That’s how it plays, then: an interesting mix of standard tennis and a sort of power shot / counter system that can lead to some intensely long rallies if two good players are taking part. In terms of satisfying tennis gameplay, then, Aces nails it.
This all takes place on a variety of courts (many of which are unlocked in the brief story mode, which I’ll get to in a bit). These range from your typical stadium affairs with standard grass and hard surfaces, to more elaborate ones with optional hazards.
One takes place on a ship, for example, with a big mast in the middle of the net that you can deflect shots off to confuse your opponent. Another is set at a railway station in a snowy mountain, meaning every now and then a horde of commuters will shuffle across the middle of the court, potentially blocking your shot (or even hitting it back: there are a few rogue Shy Guys in there with tennis rackets).
The whole thing looks great for the most part, too. Characters are chunky and expressive, and the courts are filled with loads of lovely wee details. There are occasional iffy moments, though: the grass on one court looks bizarrely blurry up close for some reason, as you can see here.
“Right Chris,” I hear you say. “So it looks good and plays good. What can I actually do in it?” Well, your conveniently timed question is a valid one: after all, given how tragically the Wii U’s Mario Tennis offering dropped the ball when it came to game modes, it’s clear there’s a lot of ground to make up here.
Firstly, there’s a ‘proper’ single-player story mode in here. Now, don’t get too carried away, because it’s short. When Nintendo first revealed the game and showed there would be a story mode, some immediately conjured up ideas in their head of a modern version of the RPG mode from the Game Boy Advance version of Mario Tennis: this is nothing like that.
Instead, it’s a quirky little adventure across a modest game map as Mario and Toad, accompanied by a friendly spirit (or something), hunt down an evil tennis racket that’s possessed Luigi, Wario and Waluigi.
Yes Daisy, that’s exactly what I just said. God, I hate you To be blunt, the story’s bumfluff of the highest order, but it’s full of silly jokes and is a good excuse to take on a variety of mini-games and challenges.
It’s far too short, though – I beat it in about three or four hours – and although it’s impossible to say for certain my guess is that it was originally planned to be longer, since there are some features in here that are normally better suited to lengthier RPG type adventures.
You level up Mario’s stats after each event, and as you progress you gain a bunch of extra rackets to add to your repertoire, each with different effects: one has flames around it, one is made of mirrored glass, and the like.
It feels like you’re building up these stats and rackets for some sort of epic quest, but in reality it all ends up being a bit pointless because a few hours later you’re watching the credits and your levelled-up Mario and his snazzy rackets are left behind, unable to be carried across to any other game modes.
This feeling of incompletion pervades the rest of the game too: every mode has you wishing there was just a little more to it to give you a reason to come back to it.
Tournament mode is in here, giving you the usual Mario Kart style Mushroom, Flower and Star Cups to play through. Once you beat the three opponents in each, though, that’s it. Nothing is unlocked, you can just check them off your mental checklist of things you’ve done.
Sigh, go away Online tournaments are similar: these are five-tier affairs where you face off against a randomly chosen opponent in final 32, final 16, quarter-final, semi-final and final matches. In each tier you’ll play against someone in the same situation, so when you reach the final you know you’re up against an opponent who’s also beaten four others to get where you are: the difficulty generally tends to rise organically as a result.
But again, once you beat them, you’re just given ranking points. You’re supposed to keep playing the tournaments over and over again to bank more points, but it’s all for no real reason other than making your way up an online leaderboard that, let’s face it, is probably going to be won by some Belgian prick who plays the game 24/7 anyway.
Each month, hitting a certain number of points in the online tournament mode will unlock a new character, but when the month ends everyone gets that character anyway so you’re only really playing to get them early.
As a result, I still reckon the online multiplayer in Mario Tennis Open on the 3DS was better, because of the level of variety available and the sense of progression.
Not only did it have 40 different types of racket, uniform, wristbands and shoes you could unlock for your Mii player, there was also a real sense of progression because you could unlock special comedy costumes for hitting online milestones. If you faced off against a Mii wearing a Tanooki Mario suit, you knew they’d been playing the game for a while.
Here the emphasis seems to be firmly on the means, rather than the end. The actual tennis gameplay is more enjoyable than in previous games, but if you’re the sort who needs a reason to play and a goal to aim towards, you’re going to be left wanting.
What we have here, then, is a game that works at its very best in local multiplayer. The single-player stuff is entertaining but limited, and the online multiplayer is undoubtedly addictive, but unless it’s given regular updates that give players a reason to keep at it your enjoyment will eventually wane when you’re hammered by the umpteenth Wario expert.
Get used to seeing this How much enjoyment you’ll get out of Mario Tennis Aces, then, depends firmly on how you plan on playing it. If you’re a loner and don’t play online you can have the story mode and tournaments licked within a day if you’re good. If you’re up for some online multiplayer you’re going to get a lot more out of it, but as it stands there may not be enough to ensure you’re still jumping in six months from now.
Get some similarly-skilled friends together for some local multiplayer, though, and this has the potential to be another one of those timeless Nintendo party classics like Mario Kart and Smash Bros.
Aces has ensured my rocky relationship with Mario Tennis is back on the up. It isn’t quite on a par with my favourite games in the series (which have been all the handheld ones, coincidentally), but it’s by no means a stinker. Hopefully Camelot can build on this for the inevitable next game in a few years’ time, and deliver something with a bit more longevity.
Mario Tennis Open is out on Switch today for £49.99 / $59.99. You can also buy it for £42.99 (at the time of writing) from Amazon UK.
In order that I could write this review, I received a free copy of the game from Nintendo. The content of my review and the opinions therein were in no way positively influenced by this.
If you enjoyed this and other reviews and want to help me write them more frequently, please consider donating to my Patreon account.
Don’t want to commit to a regular payment? I’ve now got a PayPal ‘tips’ jar: if you like what you read feel free to chuck yer man Scullion a couple of quid here or there and help stock up my Irn Bru fund so I can continue working away like a bastard.
Alternatively, if you’re a UK reader and can’t afford to support me on Patreon, please do your normal Amazon UK shopping via this link. Tired Old Hack is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.
