Show Notes When you are in the midst of emotional and psychological abuse you will often feel trapped. There are many different reasons and excuses to stay in the relationship or situation. This episode goes into some of those reasons that may make you feel trapped. In the end you have to make the best decisions for you and within your own personal timeline.
Links to find out more! * Episode Sponsor - Hypnosis Downloads * YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/dadsurvivingdivorce * Website - http://www.dadsurvivingdivorce.com * email - duane@dadsurvivingdivorce.com
Table of Contents Feeling Trapped And Excuses 00:50 - When you are in the midst of emotional and psychological abuse you will often feel trapped. There are many different reasons and excuses to stay in the relationship or situation. This episode goes into some of those reasons that may make you feel trapped. In the end you have to make the best decisions for you and within your own personal timeline.
Don’t beat yourself up 01:28 - The first thing you need to remember and understand is to not beat yourself up. Everyone is on their own personal timeline. Everyone has their own personal story and experiences that have led them to this situation. What maybe easy for you could be difficult for someone else. Conversely what could be easy for someone else could be extremely difficult for you! Bottom line it is just very difficult to see the reality of your particular story.
Duane’s Story and Context 02:58 - Duane offers up his story to provide some context in he felt trapped and the excuses that he made throughout his marriage. First, you have to understand that his marriage lasted 21 years. It took him 21 years to final see the reality of his personal situation. On top of that the courtship for was very short. Duane went on his first date with his ex and within three months they decided to get married and he went into the Air Force. Even with basic training they were married within a few short months of dating. He discusses the many red flags that he saw during that time that he ignored. You have to realize there are many factors that combine together to enable these situations to go on unchecked. In the end we all did the best we could with the information and knowledge that he had.
When you feel trapped 09:35 - There are so many different reasons to feel trapped in the toxic narcissistic relationship that you find yourself in. Fear is a huge part of this reason for feeling trapped. It is completely understandable because the stress and anxiety you find yourself in case be overwhelming. Money and the idea of trying to support yourself and your ex on limited funds can be a difficult hurdle to overcome. Some people are also very concerned about how others will look at them with a “failed” relationship or marriage. One of the major things that kept Duane trapped was the question, “Will it be worse than it is right now”. The other issue is you tend to start to feel “comfortable” with the chaos.
Slowly eating your soul and will to continue 15:16 - The important thing you need to realize, this experience will slow eat your soul and will to continue. It is also important to remember this process takes time for their mask and facade to drop. This experience can and will cause severe depression. As a result of this constant emotional torture you can loose your motivation to do and accomplish anything. Even with this Duane was able to perform at work but the constant emotional pressure had an effect on every aspect of his life. You have to understand even if you feel “comfortable” in these situation they can and will slowly destroy you.
Making “YOUR” decisions 21:46 - At the end of the day you have to make the right decision for you. You have to be okay with the decision that YOU are going to make. No one can tell you what to do. Sure people can offer ideas, thoughts, and opinions but ultimately it’s your decision. Before you can make a decision it has to feel right for you. There is nothing anyone can say to push you along and you can only do it when it’s the right decision for you. As Duane mentioned before it took him 21 years before he could make a decision for change. Even then, when he made that decision, it was very difficult and not easy to do.
End of show wrap-up 30:58 - End of show, please check out the show sponsor Hypnosis Downloads.